Reflections of a Warrior
Franklin D. Miller
****
Goodreads Review
by
Stormrider
Miller, Franklin D. with Elwood J.C. Kureth. 1991. Reflections of a Warrior. Presidio. NFD
Read:19 April - 23 April 2022
I never served with Frank, but I had heard of him. The Special Forces community is small and tight knit. He entered the United States Army four to six months ahead of me and our paths from Basic, AIT, Jump School, Special Forces Training Group and initial MOS training were exactly the same. He arrived in Viet Nam in 1966 and I arrived in 1967.
Frank noted that exhaustion was a primary enemy and I could not agree more. Every man has a weak point; lack of food, water, fear, exhaustion. Like Frank, my weakness was exhaustion. I could not function without sleep.
The quote by an unknown author on the leading flyleaf resonated deeply with me.
“God watches over his restless
and wayward children.
For they are the instrument
of his vengeance.”
As a member of Project Delta Recon, running missions similar to those Frank ran, in the same areas in I Corps in the Central Highlands, I certainly hoped we were on the right side - however that might be defined.
Early in the book in Part Two, My Birth subsection “Busted Cherry”, he tells of an incident in which he, with his team, entered an abandoned enemy way station that had some livestock and chickens left behind. He talks about destroying the animals and the necessity for it (13). Having dealt with a similar incident early in my career while flying with FAC as radio relay, I still remember, with great sadness, calling an airstrike in on a herd of water buffalo. Of all the violence I experienced in the furtherance of US foreign policy, that event caused me the greatest sadness.
With multiple combat tours running back-to-back, the psychological toll it takes on even the most grounded of operators will manifest itself in a variety of internal and external ways. He describes an extreme reaction that he had and felt was justified within the environment and activities he was engaged in.
"But if someone threatened you — holy shit — would that be a mistake. A threat would require instant reaction. You couldn’t take the chance that he was only joking. He might be serious when he said ‘I’m going to kill you,’ or gave you that look.
I’ve seen the look that goes with the words. When you’re in a battle zone and everyone’s got a gun, that look that means, I’m waiting my turn. I’m waiting for the opportunity to put a round in your head.
If I were in a battle area and you gave me that look, I’d shoot you on the spot. Immediately" (95).
While most of the special operations operators I worked with all evidenced a high degree of hyper-vigilance, we all, for the most part, were not afraid of deliberate friendly-fire incidents. Certainly not from fellow American Green Berets, nor from our indigenous troops. The rare occasions when I interacted with regular, line American troops, I could see why Frank felt the way he did.
The most disturbing event that Frank recounted in the book involved his indigenous girlfriend. Many of us had indigenous girlfriends that we shared a romantic relationship with and not just the occasional transactional relationship common between foreign troops and members of the host country. Frank relates how he awoke and watched her sleeping next to him and considered whether or not and how to kill her. He got up and spent the rest of the night in the jungle until he felt rational again. That is a case of hyper-vigilance that exceeds the ability of the individual to throw the switch to the off position. What struck me as the most disturbing element to the incident, was the internal debate Frank engaged in. I understand a reflexive violent reaction, the result of hyper-vigilance, when startled or awakened from sleep. But, the degree to which Frank had to deal with the psychological effects of living in a constant threat environment clearly showed a defensible case for clinical intervention. The signs of extreme stress are visible in two photographs taken in 1968 and 1969 and shown in the book. An example of the “thousand yard stare” on steroids.
His reviewing of the equipment, its method of carry and placement on our bodies, and the tactics we used brought back exciting memories and definitely contributed to surges of adrenaline that we were addicted to those decades ago. The authenticity of his experiences were spot on and had to be lived to be told. The difficulties of a prisoner snatch mission, dealing with the venomous snakes and insects in the jungle, brushes with tigers, elephants, and water buffalos all rang true with the voice of “been there, done that.”
Frank’s actions and the subsequent award of the Congressional Medal of Honor are in keeping with the highest traditions of America’s fighting forces. I wish I could have personally met him, shaken his hand, and rendered military courtesy to a man truly deserving of the term “Hero”.
Frank, like so many of those men and women sent off to foreign lands for reasons most of us do not truly understand but must believe in, physically return from war with demons and memories that citizens neither understand, nor do they want to understand the terrible experiences and the bad things good men and women are required to do that are done in the name of those that stay comfortable at home. Many of us, like Frank, came home, but we never really left.
High Lonesome, A.T.
05 May 2022
957 words