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Mijn mooiste herinnering eindigt hier

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'Mijn mooiste herinnering eindigt hier' is een prachtige Young Adult over een meisje dat worstelt met een bipolaire stoornis. En niemand mag het weten.
Op veilige afstand
Een bipolaire stoornis maakt het leven er niet gemakkelijker op voor de 16-jarige Mel Hannigan. Uit zelfbescherming vertelt ze niemand over haar ziekte en houdt ze haar vrienden op veilige afstand. Dan kun je maar beter niet verliefd worden, natuurlijk.
Angst voor afwijzing
Als dat toch gebeurt, en als haar voormalige beste vriendin haar dan ook nog eens confronteert met de waarheid over het einde van hun vriendschap, stort Mels wereld in. Uit angst afgewezen te worden begaat ze een enorme stommiteit. Maar zouden haar vrienden haar echt in de steek laten als ze wisten waar ze mee worstelt?
Young Adults van Eric Lindstrom
'Mijn mooiste herinnering eindigt hier' werd geschreven door Eric Lindstrom. Dankzij de moderne dialogen is het een echte aanrader voor elke young adult-liefhebber. Dit prachtige verhaal laat je nadenken over de angst jezelf bloot te geven en de moed die nodig is om geaccepteerd te worden om wie je bent.

288 pages, Paperback

First published February 7, 2017

99 people are currently reading
10049 people want to read

About the author

Eric Lindstrom

6 books298 followers
In addition to writing Young Adult novels, Eric Lindstrom has worked in the interactive entertainment industry for years as a creative director, game designer, writer, and usually combinations of all three. As Editor and Co-Writer for Tomb Raider: Legend he received a 2006 BAFTA nomination for Best Video Game Screenplay, and then as the Creative Director for Tomb Raider: Underworld he received a 2009 BAFTA nomination for Best Action Adventure Video Game and a 2009 WGA nomination for Best Writing in a Video Game.

He has also raised children, which led to becoming first a school volunteer, then a substitute teacher, then a part time kindergarten teacher, then getting a credential to teach elementary school, and most importantly the discovery that YA literature is awesome. It’s pretty much all he ever reads, and now writes, in his house near the beach on the west coast, with his wife and, yes, cats.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 687 reviews
Profile Image for Always Pouting.
576 reviews1,018 followers
January 10, 2020
Mel Hannigan has a lot on her plate, not only is she still grieving her brother's death but she recently fell out with her three close friends. Mel also lives with bipolar disorder, hiding it from everyone outside of her family. Mel experiences rapid cycling through out the day and tries to cope with it by keeping logs of how different aspects of her are doing. She gives them all different animal names and keeps track of her anxiety and mood. A retired psychiatrist who lives at the nursing home she works at had suggested for her to do so, and also encourages her to open up to her new therapists. Things get out of hand though as one of her old friends leaves town, opening up an opportunity for her to reconnect. She also makes a new friend who she starts to develop feelings for.

I really liked the book and the portrayal of mental illness in it. I found it to be pretty consistent with my own experience, and I really appreciated how it showed the difference there can be in other people's manifestation in terms of symptoms. Though I found the animal thing for tracking her cycles to be some what cheesy, I do think the way it's broken down was really cool and consistent with what can happen especially with mixed episodes. Also the break down of thought process was pretty well done also. If anything I just felt uncomfortable reading because it felt too close to home and I prefer some distance from myself. The only thing that made me roll my eyes though was the severity of their illness. I'm not saying it can't be that bad but usually it gets worse with age, and it isn't that bad in adolescents as Mel's seemed to be. Again though, doesn't mean it can't happen.
Profile Image for Emma Giordano.
278 reviews106k followers
February 17, 2017
I LOOOOOOVED this book. I'm giving it 4.5 stars because the majority of the book was a "4" for me, but the ending was such a strong 5 stars that I just HAVE to bump it up.

This was my first read regarding a teenage main character with bipolar disorder. It was strange because this is actually the first mental health fiction novel I've read where I wasn't able to connect in some way, whether it be from my own experiences or my family. Now I cannot speak for the representation, but it was a really interesting element of the story for me. Until about halfway through the story, I didn't feel like Mel's condition played a big role. I was a bit nervous at first concerning how the rep would be played out, but I realized that with many of the people with bipolar disorder who are on medication in my life, their symptoms are not always the most obvious to me. Mel's illness definitely plays more of a forefront role about halfway through the book and from my studies in psychology, it seemed very accurate. I really really loved the portrayal as I feel it highlighted a lot of important possibilities and circumstances one might go through when dealing with bipolar disorder. The ending was so heart-wrenching, so flawlessly constructed that I just want to shout from the heavens how much it made me feel. A really significant quote that will definitely stick with me was "You are not bipolar, Mel. You have bipolar disorder." I can't tell you how heart-warming it was to see this idea explained so clearly in a novel about mental illness. Again, I can't speak for the specific representation and would love to see reviews from more individuals in Mel's situation, but it was suuuper interesting to me.

On the same topic, I LOOOOOOVE how we have an individual who is on medication to treat her disorder, but she does not resent taking them! She admits she does not like how she is when off her medication when another character states their opinion on the topic, and I really loved that. There is so much demonification of medication and professional help in mental health YA so this was so wonderful.

I also was unaware of the LGBT+ elements of the story! Another point where I can't speak for the rep, but this was not something I went into the story knowing prior to reading, so it was a pleasant surprise to see additional diverse elements! There is one conversation nearing the end of the story where a character is discussing discovering their sexuality and from speaking with the LGBT community, I believe it highlighted an important piece of knowledge related to bisexuality. I don't want to say too much because the way these characters introduce their sexual orientation is relevant to the storytelling, but it was super nice to see more inclusion!

We also have a love interest of color! If I am correct, he is Chinese as there are a few scenes regarding speaking mandarin with his grandmother and it was another lovely addition to the story.

There were also a lot of insignificant things I loved about this story.
-Mel works at an elderly-folks home. We get a lot of scenes of her spending time with the residents and it was so nice to see a YA character who A. had a job in high school B. got enjoyment out of her work and C. did something in her spare time that actually gave back to the community. It was such a unique component to the story and an absolute pleasure to read.

-This book is one of the very few that contains a main character who went through different friend groups in high school. SOOOOO many YA titles incorporate one "squad" the main character has been best friends with since childhood, which in my experience, is rarely the case. I went through SO many friend groups in high school, so it was absolutely awesome to see a book character who had similar experiences of losing friends and gaining new ones.

-Ok I do not promote underage drinking (*especially* if you are on medication!!!!! [thankfully, this is also addressed in the story!!!!!!!!!]) but I was happy to see more normal high school experiences. Whether you do/did or not, teenagers consume alcohol and I felt this topic was handled realistically and did display some of the repercussions of those actions.

All in all, this book was absolutely Great with a capital "G". I would HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend it. I'm so grateful to have experienced Mel's story because it truly left an impact on my heart.
Profile Image for Larry H.
3,066 reviews29.6k followers
August 18, 2016
Mental illness is something many people, including teenagers, live with every day. Yet all too often, these people force themselves to deal with their illness in secret, hiding the truth from loved ones and friends for fear they'll be treated differently, that people will expect less (or more) of them, and that they'll always be thought of as a person with a mental illness rather than simply a person. But of course, not letting those they care about see the truth means that they aren't willing to let themselves be truly known.

"I can't let anyone know what really happened, or what's wrong with me. I can't bear the thought of how they'd look at me, and treat me, if they knew how many pills I take every morning just to act more or less like everybody else."

For 16-year-old Mel Hannigan, life with bipolar disorder is a daily struggle, yet only her parents and her aunt, as well as one friend of her grandmother's, know what she is dealing with. During one particularly bleak period she stayed out of school and isolated herself from her closest friends, so they believed the lies of another friend, and ended their relationship with her. And although she's found new friends, she keeps them at arm's length, never letting them truly see the real Mel.

As Mel tries dealing with the re-emergence of emotions around her old friends, she meets someone new, someone she'd like to pursue a relationship with. But how can she let him in when she knows he won't like the real her, when if he knows the truth he'll treat her differently and always want to hover over her and wonder when her next cycle will be? As she tries to keep her emotions in check around relationships new and old, she also must come to terms with a tragedy from her past, and figure out exactly how she can live in its shadow.

A Tragic Kind of Wonderful is beautiful, heartbreaking, and so accurate in its portrayal of the many shades of bipolar disorder. Eric Lindstrom so perfectly captured Mel's voice through her ups and downs (the downs, which manifest them as ups, are eerie and so candidly portrayed), and how each person in her family deals with her condition. The book also captured the teenage attitude and dialogue without being overly precocious—you can hear these characters saying the things they do in the book without wondering if there really are 25-year-olds inside of them.

This is a book about realizing your problems are too big for only you to handle them, and the importance of trusting people and letting them in, but at the same time recognizes the value and necessity of self-protection. It's a book about letting ourselves feel, and not being afraid to admit how and when we're hurting. And this is an important book for those struggling to understand just what mental illness can do to a person.

I'm always loath to compare books to others, but I'll admit that this reminded me a bit of Jennifer Niven's fantastic All the Bright Places , but more for its honesty and its heart than anything else. They're two wholly different and equally superlative books. Read them both, because they're both tremendously exquisite.

NetGalley and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers provided me an advance copy of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. Thanks for making this available!

See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....
Profile Image for L A i N E Y (will be back).
408 reviews828 followers
January 6, 2018
“I wasn’t really sick, at least not in the way where you eventually get better or die”

Fluffier than I imagined.

Certainly a more than decent read: had its moments, for sure, even with the surprising lack of that ‘punch’ I had expected all that time reading, essentially, in one sitting.

“Is that the kind of person you are?”
“Hell if I know. Depends on the day. On the
hour. I can be all kinds of different people”

I feel there were a few potentials that didn’t pan out. Relationships were not explored enough to make the unraveling of them felt that intense to me. A pity really. We hardly got to know Nolan at all. Or anyone else for that matter, other than the lead of course. I did like Mel but she was sorely in need of supporting cast with much more presence than she had to work with here.

Where this book did shine was how Mel’s handling of her condition.

When she got a diagnosis, just right away, she felt this isolation from everyone around her, her first thought was to keep people out of her messed up shit/life and to not be the cause of anyone’s worries.... She was a teenager but an intelligent one and as someone who also has longterm shit to deal with, I say ‘Right on!’. Seriously I appreciate that so much.

So for that, Thank You, Mr. Lindstrom.

”You are doing very well, way above average for someone with your symptoms. That’s a lot of the battle right there”
“I don’t feel like I’m winning anything”
“Battles are never won. Only survived”



rating: ★★★½
Profile Image for ♛ may.
840 reviews4,400 followers
January 8, 2019
~first 1 star of the year~

i've been reading through different reviews on this book and i'm so confused bc i REALLY expected to like this but i really really didnt

i just found the characters and the narrative and the plot and the conflict to be so FLAT. everything felt flat, everything felt purposeless.

the writing was VERY much telling and not showing and if that's not a big deal for you, that's fine, but i just found it really tiring to read. the main character has bipolar disorder and i cant recall a moment where her mental illness was SHOWN it was just 'i have this and i took my medicine and i did that and i took my medicine again and i felt this' but ITS NEVER SHOWN

the drama between her friend group?? was so out of place?? i dont know where it came from but it engulfed the ENTIRE story and i was just so confused like who are these people and why should i care

also i think this is VERY specific flaw to me but there weren't any markers for 'who' was speaking.
so there would be a big WALL of dialogue and there wouldn't be any "i said" or "she said" it was just A WALL OF DIALOGUE and i got so lost as to who was speaking i had to reread scenes and hdfjlashjl NOT FUN

it's a relatively short book but i just dont think i connected with the book in the way that i expected. how very sad.


buddy read with a mean

Profile Image for Elyse Walters.
4,010 reviews11.9k followers
September 17, 2016
Engaging...compassionate...authentic....
.....Heartbreaking......Beautiful!

Mel Hannigan has recently been diagnosed having bipolar disorder. She is learning about the illness from her doctor and how to manage it....
but at 16 years old you can only imagine how much she'd like to crawl into a hole and not even face 'learning' anything. And talking with her therapist... she'd rather just take the pills and bolt the sessions.
We also know very early into this story that Mel's older brother, Nolan, died. Her parents get a divorce soon after Nolan's death... and Mel makes all new friends at her 'new' school after she and her mom moved.
It wouldn't be easy being 'the new' kid at age 16 in the best of situations....but for Mel...( with her brother's death, her parents divorce, and her own illness),
hanging out with Senior Citizens certainly feels more comforting than hanging out with kids her own age. She worked at the "Silver Sands" and often played cribbage with the old folks - the residents. Plus she becomes buddies with a retired psychiatrist who encourages her to open up to her own therapist. She will also meet a boy name David.
I began to wonder myself .. was it possible for Mel to have a healthy relationship - or was her illness too dominant?

Mel begins to make some friends -- but never plans to tell any of them that she 'had' a brother....
and then.....
this conversation came up:
"I can't remember the last time someone at home asked me a meaningful question", Holly says. "With sisters who've been fighting since I was born, I'm ignored like dining room furniture".
"I could use some ignored time", Declan says. "Apparently I'm an only child on purpose. My mom says it's because they couldn't improve on perfection. My dad says I was a terrible mistake they didn't want to repeat. What about you, Mel? Why didn't your parents have other kids?
"The question catches me offguard. I hope I don't look startled".
"I don't know". I managed to say. "it's not a conversation we've ever had".

Throughout the story Mel is struggling with friends- and her own inner demons-
She is afraid to trust. Can other kids her age handle being friends with her? Will her mental illness be too much for them? Too much for Mel ..( to have to worry about them worrying about her)

Mel's got a wonderful mother and a 'dream-COOL-FUN-aunt....so thankfully she has a couple of adult power-house women who have her back and love her more than life itself...
But nobody would choose to have Bipolar disorder.

Author Eric Lindstrom wrote this book with great sensitivity... giving detail descriptions of bipolar.....informative...real... and valuable. If this is the type of book teens are reading... I'm extremely impressed!!!
The story itself is intimate and moves at a face pace - very easy to 'feel' empathy and understanding.

Thank You Little Brown Books, NetGalley, and Eric Lindstrom





Profile Image for Susan's Reviews.
1,229 reviews752 followers
March 28, 2021
I want to give A Tragic Kind of Wonderful ten stars! This story is told from the point of view of seventeen year old Mel who suffers from bi-polar disorder - but somehow manages to keep her condition secret from her schoolmates and teachers. Mel does not want her friends and co-workers to know about her condition, to have them look at her or treat her differently.


I don't want to go into details of the plot because there are a few interesting revelations and twists in this story which will only remain effective if you don't get any hints about them ahead of time.
Eric Lindstrom does an amazing job of educating the reader about bipolar disorder.


The chapter where Mel falls off her meds - that manic internal dialogue - had me weeping. I had to get a hold of my emotions and remind myself that Mel was a fictional character, I was so worried about her!

There is only one issue I wish to address before I urge you to read this amazing, wonderful novel. One Goodreads reviewer, in my opinion, incorrectly indicated that one of the characters, Zumi, who identifies as lesbian, was being ridiculed, shamed or laughed at by either the author or the other characters in this novel. I am always on the alert for any anti-LGBTQ language or derogatory stereotyping. I could find no ridiculing, shaming or improper handling of any character's sexual identification in this novel. I read this Goodread reviewers comments before I read this book and I can only conclude that this reviewer must not have read the same book I did. However, I do believe in freedom of speech and opinion, so I hope that you will read this incredibly moving novel and form your own unbiased opinion on that score.

Eric Lindstrom is a wise, intelligent and sensitive writer. The characters are realistic and the situations and dramas they face are cut from real life. For example, I was very impressed (and amused!) when Mel's friend, Connor, puts in his own words - during a drunken pity party - the potential for the attainment of nirvana, or heaven, as he refers to it, by freeing oneself from all cravings or attachments:

"Maybe heaven isn't about getting everything you want," Connor says. "Maybe it's about not wanting anything anymore and being happy about it...... If you don't want things, you won't be unhappy about things you don't have, and you won't be worried about losing things you do have."

Pure genius! This passage is just one of the many gems strewn about in this heartwarming, inspirational, sensitive and impassioned story of a young girl who learns to accept and manage her bipolar disorder, on her own terms. I was so very much moved and awestruck by this author's insight. I highly recommend this YA novel that will also appeal to adults of every age.
Profile Image for Sarah Elizabeth.
5,002 reviews1,401 followers
January 4, 2017
(I received an advance copy of this book for free. Thanks to HarperCollinsChildren’sBooks and NetGalley.)

“Dr Jordan told me everyone with bipolar disorder is different – endless variations of moods, emotions, intensity, frequency, reactions, episodes, delusions, breakdowns – but even so, according to him, I’m unusual.”


This was a YA contemporary story, about a girl with bipolar disorder.

Mel was an okay character, although I found it quite hard to keep up with the way she tracked her moods. The author did do a good job of showing her ups and downs though.

The storyline in this was about Mel coping with her bipolar disorder, and also trying to deal with her grief over her older brother’s death. We did get a few twists thrown in, and I really did not see some of them coming. The pace in this was a little slow though, and I wanted answers faster than we got them.

The ending to this was okay, although it was clear that Mel still wasn’t really thinking straight.



6.5 out of 10
Profile Image for Dannii Elle.
2,321 reviews1,825 followers
May 29, 2017
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. Thank you to the author, Eric Lindstrom, and the publisher, Harper Collins Children's Books, for this opportunity.

Mel Hannigan is harbouring a secret. More than one, in fact. The first is that she's not an only child. The second is that her brother is dead. The third is that they both have bi-polar disorder.

Mel works hard to separate the life lived inside the confines of her mind from the life of school friends and typical teen angst. But the lines are blurring, and separating these two parts of herself may just prove to be the tipping point in the list of things she can deal with. What will happen when her life comes crashing down around her? And, when it does, who will still be there to help her to pick up the pieces?

During the initial portions of this book I found this an enjoyable if predictable read. I felt like I had read many books centring around the topic of mental health and many of them began in a similar fashion. It became evident however, that this would prove to be far more than simply an entertaining read.

This quickly proved itself to be such a heartbreaking yet important representation of mental illness. Mel's mental stability spiralled over the course of the novel and the author cleverly used the structure of Mel's inner-thoughts and speech to convey this to the reader. It truly felt like I was given an in-depth insight into the character's every feeling and garnered a better understanding of what life is like for those who live with this disorder, in real-life.

I can't truly say if this is a true-to-life representation as I don't suffer from it myself, or know anyone who does. It did however, feel like an authentic representation and is an important voice for marginalised perspectives, because of that.

I also appreciated how Mel was depicted as far more than her mental illness. The story dealt with what she was feeling and suffering, but also conveyed her as being a typical teenage girl with typical teenage worries, aside from that. She has friend drama and boy troubles just like many other from her demographic.

This was such an important read, and truly impacted me into recognising the struggles faced by those suffering from mental illness. Just due to that fact alone this book should be a necessary book for everybody to read. In its own right, it is also a highly entertaining book; full of diverse characters, witty dialogue, a sweet yet subtle romance, a dynamic family, and a thrilling plot with a gripping conclusion.
Profile Image for B.
122 reviews12.1k followers
December 1, 2018
I loved this book... so much. It was so fantastic and I really feel as though I have a better idea of bipolar disorder now. I’m a psychology student so it’s one of the reasons I even picked up the book, was to better understand. I can’t speak to it’s accuracy, since I don’t personally have this disorder, but I have heard from reliable sources that it’s quite accurate. I love how we learn about it, but even more, I love the friendships in this book. They’re not perfect, but they’re still good. I’m happy with the themes and I’m happy with the plot, this was much more character driven than anything else though, and that being said: I loved our main character. Mel is strong and sweet and infinitely fascinating. Highly recommend this book, it’s one of my favorites of this year.
Profile Image for Sylvie {Semi-Hiatus} .
1,217 reviews1,740 followers
January 12, 2019
I think I'll take a break from books that are 'focused' on mental illnesses, because this book delivered an entirely wrong message about mental health. I won't bother writing a long review for this book that I DID NOT LIKE!

There are many books that I read which focus on mental issues: Some of them give a fantastic representation about the topic but with weak characters and some of them vice versa. Well, in this case this had both: Unlikable characters and wrong message about mental health.

I guess the reason why I finished this book without dnf-ing it was because it was short.


Profile Image for kate.
1,731 reviews968 followers
February 5, 2019
This was a quick, easy read and one I definitely enjoyed. However, I also have a lot of mixed feelings, especially regarding the bipolar, bisexual and lesbian representation, of which I have yet to find any #ownvoices reviews regarding how these character aspects were represented.

In regards to the mental health aspect of this book in general, it definitely had both good and bad points. Although it’s painful to read about a character with so much shame surrounding their mental illness, it also felt authentic in terms of the way Mel seesawed between both shame and acceptance.

I enjoyed the characters and variety of relationships and although it got uncomfortably close to it towards the end, I definitely appreciated that it didn’t fall into the ‘love fixes mental illness’ hole.

I’m still unsure of how I felt about this overall. Every time I think of a positive element, I remember a negative one and visa-versa. Generally, it was an average read for me but one that had both highs and lows.
Profile Image for K..
4,659 reviews1,141 followers
March 2, 2017
3.5 stars.

I absolutely adored Eric Lindstrom's first book, Not If I See You First, so I was pretty excited about reading this one.

And there was a lot to love in this book. The portrayal of bipolar disorder is pretty great. I love that Mel works at a nursing home/retirement community/thing, hanging out with old people for funsies because it's what she's good at. I loved that we have a teenage girl who gets her period and whose period has a significant impact on her mental health.

As with Not If I See You First, I really enjoyed the writing and it gave me feels.

But I think it might eventually prove to be a slightly...forgettable...story? So it was enjoyable enough (though it features a lot of shitty friendships), but I really don't think it will stick with me the way his first book has.
Profile Image for Drew.
456 reviews556 followers
March 24, 2017
3 1/2 stars. The first book I read by Eric Lindstrom was about a blind girl with a traumatic past. It was also one of the best contemporaries I read in 2016. Similarly, this second book by the author follows Mel Hannigan, who has bipolar disorder and is suffering from a traumatic past.

Even though the plot was very similar to Not If I See You First, I still really enjoyed it. I think the author has nailed writing realistic contemporaries - while making them unique and enjoyable, they also inform the reader about a very real, serious matter.

Mel suffers from severe bipolar disorder that throws her into unpredictable mood swings. She takes pills to help her get through the day, but her family is worried about her. Ever since "the incident" that happened with her brother years ago, she's shut down, cutting off all her friends and pushing everyone close to her out of her life.

Now, for those of you out there who aren't big romance fans - there is a romance that's a main part of this book, but trust me, you should give this one a try. Mel works at a retirement home where she meets the grandson of one of the women she takes care of, David - and I really loved their romance.

The relationship between Mel and David was realistic and their chemistry was strong. They were cute, funny, brutally honest with each other, and things were definitely a little awkward on their first date. While there may have been no breathless, beautiful, swoon-worthy lines, there was a grittiness, an intense attraction between them. Mel admired David, but it wasn't "love at first sight," and I appreciated that realism.

The romance didn't trivialize bipolar disorders either, and being in love didn't "heal" Mel. Rather, David was just a guy she liked who put up with her mood swings and was there for her. I have an issue with YA books that "romanticize" mental illness. Like, when a hot guy falls in love with a depressed girl and magically "heals" her of her ilness. Not only is this incredibly unrealistic, but it's also belittling a serious matter. But this was one unique time when romance and mental illness were actually compatible.

Lindstrom's A Tragic Kind of Wonderful was relatable, quirky, humorous, and honest. I love that we've been given two feisty female narrators in his books so far who prove they're worth more than their illness or disability - I can't wait to read what he comes up with next.
Profile Image for catherine ♡.
1,699 reviews169 followers
March 26, 2017
Actual Rating: 3.5

This was so fluffy - I loved it!

That's the thing about it though; there were so many "rom-com" parts of this I enjoyed reading, and although I loved reading about the interpretation of bipolar disorder, all in all it didn't resonate with me much.

Mel is a sixteen-year-old with bipolar disorder, which she keeps a secret from her friends because she doesn't want to be treated differently. When an old friend she had a falling out with confronts her again, Mel's carefully crafted facade begins to crack, and this time, she doesn't seem to be able to keep everything locked up.

I thought Mel was a pretty likeable character and her character arc was very powerful. There were several scenes between her and the love interest that I really thought were pretty cute. This was the type of insta-attraction (not insta-love) that I had absolutely no problem with.

I did have a bit of trouble with the way she kept track of her feelings, however. Mel nicknamed her heart, head, etc. with names like Hammerhead or Hummingbird, and though this was creative, I kept forgetting which corresponded to which.

The plot was definitely very thorough and thought out. I could definitely see how things progressed the way they did, and the conclusion really gave me a good sense of closure. However, I did think that there were a lot of themes in this book: coming-of-age, friendship, family, romance, and although I love all these things, after a while it began to feel like Mel's bipolar disorder wasn't main point of the story, but rather a catalyst for all these other things to get through.

I also kind of wish I knew more about the secondary characters. We saw enough of Mel's old friends, but Holly and Declan, Mel's current friends, had so little screen-time that I kind of wondered if they even had a purpose other than to act as Mel's support.

Overall, I'd recommend this as a really quick but eye-opening read for anyone who was looking for a light contemporary read that touches upon mental illness. There was a great balance between seriousness and humor, and overall the writing style was pretty good - there were several lines that really hit me, but this was probably my favorite:
"I think it's fair to say," Dr. Dharni says, "that only people open to dying would be so careless with something so dangerous."
Profile Image for Maddie.
558 reviews1,117 followers
February 9, 2017
A great read for bipolar disorder representation, and I felt like I really understood and empathised with the mindset, but I'm tragically disappointed with the lesbian shaming that happened in regards to Zumi, and the conversations about sexualities felt like the written equivalents of nails on a chalkboard that made me want to shove my Kindle under a pillow and never pick it up again.

I felt a little confused with the introduction of David, and the ending was so close to being the romance-as-part-of-the-mental-health-cure, but it wasn't, so thank goodness!

It makes me feel really sad that the books I read that have protagonists with mental health issues always feel such shame about it, and when they eventually tell others, there's no stigma at all, so hopefully as people realise that mental health isn't something to feel bad for, we'll see some characters more confident in their headspace.

There was such an intense friendship circle that I really appreciated, although all the secrets were toxic and I don't think I've ever read a friendship where they actually trust each other!
Profile Image for Justkeepreading.
1,871 reviews5 followers
February 10, 2017
Unputdownable. Powerful eyeopener. Into a world lots of people know nothing about. Bipolar. It is heartbreaking and uplifting to see how Mel deals with her new diagnosis. It is eye opening to see how the world treats her, how her relationships with her friends and family and had changed and the struggles that she has to face on a day to day basis.

I think this book was written really well and it was heartening to have a look into someone else's world.

It is a book about empowerment and how yes illnesses change you. But they also help to define you. And they help you to know who are the most important people in your life. And that if they stick by you throu thick and thin then they are something really special. If they don't and The are mean and hurtful. Then you really don't need that negativity in your life. It is a lesson we all have to learn. I think that this book is uplifting. You can find my review on Goodreads and Amazon. On Goodreads under Karen whittard and on Amazon under k.e.whittard.

Happy reading everyone
Profile Image for Figgy.
678 reviews215 followers
March 21, 2017
Once again, Eric Lindstrom brings us a story that’s kinda cute and fluffy and is bound to make you laugh, but which has a decent helping of meatiness, too.

At first glance, there are some things that can seem a little shallow, and though it’s true that overall this feels like it has a little less heart than Lindstrom’s previous book, Not If I See You First, and the friendships feel a little less developed, there is still plenty here to love, and his second offering is one that is as easy to get caught up in as his debut.

One of the things that felt a little odd early on in the book was the fact that Mel, a self-described antisocial underachiever, seems to find it so easy to make conversation with people.
We’ve had this conversation countless times, when Mom’s not around to stop her. Except I know the drugs are a scapegoat. Like how Dad thinks I’m unambitious and unmotivated and blames it on being surrounded by underachievers. Aunt Joan thinks I’m antisocial because of the meds. They’re both wrong. I’m naturally an antisocial underachiever.
But perhaps this was part of the message of this book; just because they need time away from people in order to recharge, people with anxiety and other mental health disorders don’t always struggle in a way that is outwardly visible.

The rest of this review can be found HERE!
Profile Image for Odette Brethouwer.
1,732 reviews301 followers
March 28, 2018
Eric Lindstrom heeft weer een supergoed boek geschreven waar we een inkijkje krijgen in een wereld die niet de onze is. Met zijn vorige boek, Wat jij niet ziet, leerden we de wereld van de blinden kennen. Met dit boek leren we wat meer over een bipolaire stoornis. Dat is niet alleen supergoed en leerzaam, maar ook interessant en geeft het boek een diepere laag.

Waar zijn vorige boek voor mij het echte 5* gevoel had omdat alles zo op zijn plek viel, heeft dit boek dat niet. Dat valt me dus wel tegen, dat had ik wel verwacht. Dat komt denk ik omdat je in zijn vorige boek gewoon met haar meeloopt in haar leven zeg maar, en bij dit boek ontrafel je meer een geschiedenis. Je hebt toen en je hebt nu, je begrijpt niet meteen alles en dat wordt langzaamaan duidelijk.

Dit maakt dat het boek eigenlijk op twee sporen zit: die verhaallijn, en hoe het is om te leven met een bipolaire stoornis. Dat is de zwakte van dit boek, en de kracht van het vorige boek was dat het 'gewoon' ging over het leven van een blind meisje.

Het plot en de dingen die je ontrafeld vind ik een beetje heel erg Amerikaans highschooldrama. Alsof het zo uit een tv-serie of film komt. (Annie doet mij HEEL erg denken aan Alison uit Pretty Little Liars, trouwens) Wel gaaf dat vriendschap zo een grote rol speelt in dit boek, maar alles wat er gebeurt vind ik gewoon net iets té veel drama, ofzo.

Nieuwe boeken van Lindstrom blijf ik zeker lezen want je merkt dat hij gedegen onderzoek doet naar waar hij over schrijft, hij zorgt dat het ergens op slaat - en dat vind ik belangrijk en leerzaam. Vandaar de 4e ster, want dit boek heeft echt wel meer inhoud dan gemiddeld.
Profile Image for Ryan Buckby.
704 reviews92 followers
April 20, 2017
actual rating: 4.5


How can you have a future if you can't accept your past?

I enjoyed this second book by Eric Lindstorm more then i did his first book i feel like this one had more fleshed out characters and i could distinctly hear the different characters voices while i was reading it more then i did in his debut novel.

This story follows Mel Hannigan a 16 year old girl who is living with bipolar disorder and reeling from the death of her brother, she not also dealing with the loss of her brother but is also dealing with the divorce of her parents. Her and her mother have moved in with her aunt while her dad has very little to do with her since her parents divorce. Mel's friendships have become strained and she goes on a journey to try fix her friendships with Annie, Zumi and Connor after they all became close when they were growing up.

Characters

Mel: Mel is the main character in this story and she is living with bipolar disorder but has kept it a secret from her friends and everyone else around her, the only people that know she has it are her family. I liked the journey Mel went on in the story because i have no idea what living with bipolar is like but the author showed it in a way that was real and honest.

Mel to me felt like one of the realist sounding YA characters that i have read in a long time because she was in high school and had a job but she also did something in her spare time that helped and gave back to the community so it was refreshing to read a character like that. One thing that i also really enjoyed about this character is that 'love' or 'relationships' with a guy didn't play any role in this story and i love how this was touched on in the story.

David: david was the new/close friend for Mel as they meet in the nursing home where Mel works as it's revealed that David's grandmother is a resident in the nursing home. I liked this character because he was different then Mel's other friends in the book, he tried to understand and help her as much as he could and be there for her as much as he could as well. I'm so glad the author didn't have the whole insta love between the two because the way the friendship was between the two could have been ruined if it was insta love straight away.

Mel's Parents: i love how her parent's were written in the story because you had her Mum who was involved and present in her life where as her dad was distant and not there a lot of the time but he does start to have more an impact towards the end of the story. Usually parents aren't very present in YA contemporary novels but i'm glad they were such a huge part of the story.

HJ: i think one of my favourite characters in this story was Mel's aunt she brought the brighter and happier dialogue for the most part of the story and i really enjoyed reading that character. I feel like Mel wanted to be like her aunt in most aspects but living with bipolar never could really be able to do that. The only thing that really annoyed me about the character was how she wasn't really understanding with Mel having bipolar and how she tried to get mel to do things that were way out of her comfort zone.

Zumi, Connor and Annie: All three of these characters were Mel's friends in the book and all played different roles throughout the story. Annie was the main instigator of this friendship circle and isn't really seen that much in the story only in the beginning until her family move to paris. However most of the past is brought up and things are explained and secrets are exposed.

Zumi was another one of Mel's friends and one that i would say i enjoyed the most from because she was one of those friends who wanted to understand and be there for Mel but things got twisted and secrets were revealed so them two had a rocky friendship throughout the whole book but i'm glad by the end of it they do make up *some what*

Connor was the last of Mel's friends and a character who was the neutral one of the whole friendship group. I feel like i can relate to him a lot because of his friends are girls and he doesn't seem to have that many guy friends in the book. Most of my friendships throughout high school were with females as Connor's are in the book.

Mental illness is a big thing throughout the book and is something that many people are suffering with in their own lives day to day. However all to often people feel ashamed to talk about their own mental health issues and feel like they should keep it a secret from everyone with the fear of being ridiculed by people for having a mental illness. People with a mental illness feel like they'll be treated differently, that people will expect less (or more) of them but this should never be the case.

I wasn’t really sick, at least not in the way where you eventually get better or die. I just found out my brain was poorly designed. It won’t kill me, but I can’t get right again since I was never right in the first place

LGBTIQ+ issues are brought up in this book but i was unaware of these issues until much later in this book where these issues started to pop up and become known to me. I won't spoil it to much but there are instances where many characters are discovering their own sexualities in the book and how they accept what it is.

A love interest in the story was of different colour and i believe that David was Chinese from the way he and his grandmother were speaking in a different language. I honestly did enjoy this diverse range of characters because it's something that is needed more in YA novels because everyone is different and we all come from different backgrounds in society that need to be portrayed more in YA novels.

I enjoyed this book so much, because if you like stories like these i would HIGHLY recommend you pick up and read Mel's so you can enjoy the story as much as i did and it will continue to hold a special place in my heart.
Profile Image for Mridu  aka Storypals.
530 reviews97 followers
August 28, 2018
It's a pretty small book for the topic it talks about. I loved the story so much, the characters were real, raw and relatable.
Taking one star away only because the flow of the story is not what I liked, a lot of the story progresses towards the end of the book. It could have been easily one of my favourite reads of 2018.
Profile Image for Laurie • The Baking Bookworm.
1,775 reviews514 followers
February 15, 2017
I feel so torn about this book. I enjoyed some aspects and others I struggled with so much that I almost gave up on the whole thing. Unfortunately, I found the bulk of the story slow-going with the focus being on teenage angst, friendship and relationships vying for top billing instead of mental illness. It isn't until two-thirds of the way through the book (when I had almost given up) that I finally could sink my teeth into the story. It's at this point that Lindstrom gets to the heart of Mel's struggle with bipolar disorder and the results are vivid and emotional. From the intensity of her feelings, to her loss of control, delusions and finally her breakdown readers will witness the heart-breaking struggle within Mel and the enormous stress she is under to keep it hidden from people around her.

One of my issue with the book is that there was too much angst and not enough depth or character development. There is a mixed bag of secondary characters with the residents of the nursing home where Mel works being my favourites with their sass, personality and heart. Some of the teenagers by comparison (Declan and Holly, I'm looking at you) faded so much into the background that they were easily forgettable.

The other issue I had was that there was too much telling and not enough showing. I wanted to witness the connection or disconnection between Annie, Connor, Zumi and Mel so I could better understand Mel's hesitation to inform her friends of her mental illness. Similarly, the romance happened too quickly, felt forced and too good to be true considering all the issues and drama that occur in their brief relationship. Unfortunately, I just wasn't invested in these relationships.

Also, when it finally came down to the big reveal about the reason for the rift between Zumi, Connor and Mel, the result was disappointing for something that was alluded to many times. I would have preferred a more in-depth look at other relationships - namely, Mel's relationship with her brother. Her bond with him underlies much of the book yet is barely talked about. Or even a look at Mel's mother and how she has handled having so much mental illness within her family.

It sounds like I wasn't a fan of this book and for a chunk of it I wasn't. But I will take away a better understanding of bipolar disorder. This went from a book I almost gave up on to one that became a decent read due to the vivid and honest look at Mel's illness and her heartbreaking struggle to be seen as 'normal'. While this wasn't a home run for me I applaud the author for giving his readers a better insight into the mental health of teens.

Disclaimer: My sincere thanks to Little, Brown Books for Young Readers and NetGalley for providing me with a complimentary e-book copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Profile Image for Linda (un)Conventional Bookworms.
2,799 reviews343 followers
August 23, 2017
This review was originally posted on (un)Conventional Bookviews
A Tragic Kind of Wonderful had my whole body in knots. Mel made my heart break so badly, and at the same time I'm so happy to have met her - to get a glimpse into how life might be for someone who suffers from bipolar disorder.

Review - (un)Conventional Bookviews
Story:
After a horrible shock, Mel became so sick she couldn't go to school for several months. Afterwards, though, she never shared with her friends the actual reasons for not coming to school. She didn't want anyone to think she was weird. Or different. Or someone they might not want to spend their time with - so she stayed away from them instead. She got new friends, though and that works well for her. Until her old friends reach out to her once more.

A Tragic Kind of Wonderful doesn't make depression pretty. And it doesn't sugarcoat what Mel has been through, nor does it try to show an 'easy' fix for anything. It gets down and dirty, and has no qualms about showing both the lows and the highs Mel deals with in her daily life.
Characters:
Mel is the main character, and I fell in love with her form the beginning. While she does have a lot to deal with, she does her best to move forward. To not let her illness keep her down in the pits. And she has more people she can count on than she knows.
Declan and Holly are her new friends, and they're a couple. Her old friends show up again, too, Connor, Zumi and Annie - whom she lost while she was sick.
Mel's parents as well as her aunt Joan are very present in Mel's life as well, and it was refreshing to read about real parents in a young adult book.
Then, there are the people at the Silver Sands Suites where Mel works.
Writing style :
First person, present tense from Mel's perspective. A Tragic Kind of Wonderful switches between the past and the present.
Feels :
Lindström managed to bring me close to Mel, and while sometimes I was a bit confused, I guess she was as well. And I truly did feel the feels - both sadness and happiness, and everything in between.

Fave Quotes - (un)Conventional Bookviews

We've had this conversation countless times, when Mom's not around to stop her. Except I know the drugs are a scapegoat. Like how Dad thinks I'm unambitious and unmotivated and blames it on being surrounded by underachievers. Aunt Joan thinks I'm antisocial because of the meds. They're both wrong. I'm naturally an antisocial underachiever.

Ms. Li laughs and blurts something in Chinese. David grins big - the first I've seen from him. Nope, not serious. His grandmother told me he's hardly ever serious but his poker face is amazing.He laughs and bows his head, and this instantly triggers my bright smile. That almost never happens on its own.
Profile Image for Lis (The Reader L).
487 reviews33 followers
April 11, 2017
I have no words to tell you how much I loved this book. Literally, no words. There’s just too much I’d like to say, but I’d probably end up saying “I loved it” again and again and again.
I think the only way to “review” this book is listing the 10 things I loved the most about A Tragic Kind of Wonderful.
So, here you are.
1. The main character. Mel Freaking Hannigan is one of the best main characters I’ve ever read. And… Seriously, Mel is so “me”. I don’t have bipolar disorder, but I’m very (very!) paranoid and it was kind of freeing to see how much I can relate to her AND in a good way.
2. The main character works at an elderly people home. Just like I did! I think there’s so important so see this in YA books; I don’t remember if I’ve ever a book that made me aware of how much older people needs help and company.
3. The bipolar disorder rep was so well done. Like I said, I don’t have bipolar disorder, but I have two friends who have it. I’m also glad the book touches the importance of meds and psychiatric help. This is something so, so important!
4. The characters were diverse and fun and likable. Except for the typical “mean girls” at school (okay, I’m not even going to lie, it bothered me a bit that the mean girls were Latinas, but it didn’t bother me too much) everyone was lovely and it made me so happy!
5. The friendship. Mel’s friends are such good friends. They have ups and down, they make mistakes and they say the wrong things sometimes, but they loved Mel and even when they weren’t part of the same group, they were nice to each other. (This reminded me so much of my high school/church friends).
6. The romance. The romance was almost inexistence, but I liked it that way. A Tragic Kind of Wonderful was about Mel coping with her mental illness and the grief of her brother’s dead. The romance wasn’t even necessary, it wasn’t the center of the book, but it was a plus. David and Mel were so cute together!
7. The mystery. From the first chapter you know something tragic happened to Nolan, Mel’s brother. Until the end of the book, I made a hundred and more theories. What really happened wasn’t really unexpected, but it was gut wrenching and heartbreaking.
8. The writing was fast-paced and addictive. I think I’ve said this everywhere, I had an ugly eye disease and surgery and I haven’t read almost anything this year and when I read it takes me at least a week to finish a book, but I read ATKOW in two days!
9. There’s a LGBT rep I wasn’t expecting. Okay, we know from the start that Zumy is lesbian, but she’s not the only LGTB character. There’s a bi out there, and I loved it.
10. The ending wrapped everything perfectly. I’d still love to read more about Mel Hannigan, but this ending gave me enough to feel good about saying goodbye to this characters.

Now you see. A Tragic Kind of Wonderful was kind of wonderful. A huge thank you to Harper Reach for the chance to read this beautiful book… now I can’t wait to read the other book by this author.
Profile Image for fff.
46 reviews35 followers
December 20, 2017
This is an utterly rare and compelling read that leaves the reader thinking long after the last page. Eric Lindstrom takes us through the life of Mel, a girl suffering from bipolar disorder since her brother committed suicide. Mel's personality is particularly striking: beneath her cheerful and somewhat sarcastic nature, she is fundamentally damaged. To me, she is a reminder of how much of ourselves we keep hidden under the surface. Yet, her story is filled with hope, the desire for meaning, and the willingness to help other people even when she no longer has love to give. She is memorable because she helps people even as she rejects help for her condition, and she is kind to the world even though the world is not kind to her. On the back cover of this book, there is this quote: 'Not everyone has the courage to be loved for who they really are...' I think it is tragic that Mel deems herself unworthy of love despite giving the world the best of herself and her love.

Mel feels very authentic. I could understand and empathize every one of her impulses (even walking twenty miles to Golden Gate Bridge on bloodied feet). The eerie part is that I don't feel as though she is acting irrationally at any point in the book. I'm not saying that walking twenty miles or courting death on rooftops is sane behavior. But at the same time, I can't help but think that if I'm placed under the same circumstances, I, a reasonably sane person (hopefully), might do the same things Mel did. Her pain must have been unimaginable. This book taught me that we tread a fine line between sanity and insanity. The mentally ill of this world are not any less human than the mentally healthy, and they may lead more colorful and enriching lives than the majority of us do.

My favorite part of the book was when Mel and David were talking about an amnesia patient. Mel thinks she's sad, David corrects her, saying that she is happy even though she cannot remember anything. There any many more bone-haunting conversations like this in the book, and this is where this book shines. I find this book very subtle -- never telling us everything -- yet enough for us to figure it out with relative ease. The story is beautiful when I look back at it, and although it's never revealed whether Amelia Hanningan finds her peace, I hope she will. It is a book worth reading.
Profile Image for Bookphenomena (Micky) .
2,897 reviews546 followers
July 15, 2019
I’m trying to stow my gush a little but it is not easy. This book was a stunning and memorable read, delivering on a contemporary YA story with the best mental health representation I’ve read in a long time.

Mel has been through stuff, bigger stuff than most teens her age (16-17) have been through, losses, divorce and relocation. Oh yes, and getting to grips with diagnosis of a significant mental illness. Mel was a self-aware and strong teen, at least on the surface. She was endearing in her flaws and had a unique way to track her illness and moods. Each chapter begun with an mind-body-heart-overall update and it was so well thought out.

“I’m a different kind of mixed. Miserable and serene. Heaven and hell are the same place.”

Over this book I felt like I really got to know Mel, I wandered not only into her world but also into her mind and with that I felt sadness, frustration and compassion. The story isn’t all heavy-heavy, there’s plenty of lightness, especially in the first half. Friendships were a key factor in Mel’s mental compass and well-being, when they were right, she did okay but when things went wrong, life got more complex to navigate. Friendships from the past and those from the present had a direct impact on Mel’s life and I really enjoyed the slow unpeeling of where and how things with Annie, Zumi and Connor unravelled. I simply felt everything; it was very raw in the last third.

Another strength of this book was the family context. HJ, her mum, her brother and to a lesser extent, her dad brought such depth to Mel’s character and life. David was a friend to Mel and there was a low-level romance in this book that has the back-seat but is quite beautiful.

I don’t know why I hadn’t read this book before considering my love for his previous book NOT IF I SEE YOU FIRST. Therefore, it’s no surprise to me that this book blew me away. Eric Lindstrom dealt with this particular mental disorder with thorough research. He addressed labelling, disclosure of diagnosis and I am in awe of the way he depicted life through Mel’s lens.

“You’re not [disorder name], Mel. You have [disorder name]. You also have vibrant blue eyes, a wonderful personality, a tendency to undervalue yourself, and many, many other things. None of those things are you.”

Thank you Amazon vine and the publisher for this gifted title.
Profile Image for Jude (NovelReader13).
421 reviews
August 26, 2020
A Tragic Kind of Wonderful tells the story of 16-year-old Mel who lives with biopolar disorder.

As someone without any experience with bipolar herself, I obviously can't speak to the accuracy of the portrayal of Mel's symptoms, thought processes, treatment etc. However, I really appreciated how the author made it very clear throughout the book that people with the same diagnosis can have very different experiences and feel completely different about how they choose to cope.

The writing style is fairly heavy on dialogue, which is something I personally like a lot. There were some great conversations in this and I'm mad at myself for not annotating to mark some of my favourite parts.
Another thing I loved about the writing is that it often reflected Mel's state of mind. It was just really well done imo.

I really enjoyed the different relationship dynamics and how messy they were allowed to be. The side characters felt just as rich and well developed as the MC, which is always wonderful to see.

It may be a short book, but it certainly packs a punch!
Profile Image for Marianna.
487 reviews130 followers
June 4, 2018

You can find this and many more reviews on my blog Marianna's Corner!

A Tragic Kind of Wonderful is a book about mental health; it specifically deals with bipolar disorder. Don’t expect it to be heavy on the romance side, because it’ll disappoint. Do expect it though to be informative and educative, without being triggering (at least for me), which is a fear I have with all books dealing with mental health; I find them extremely triggering so I try to stay away from them.

Looking at my notes, I see that I have written and underlined the word accurate. And it truly is a perfect representation of this book; it is accurate. It accurately presents bipolar disorder type 1 and the symptoms that go along, as well as rapid cycling*. As far as representation on that matter is concerned I recommend A Tragic Kind of Wonderful. If you want to see yourself represented or just want to educate yourself on the subject, this book is a good source.

Overall, the thing I liked the most about this novel is how positively mentaly ill people were portrayed; I liked so much that Mel was getting treatment for her illness and she didn’t for a second think it is bad or “taboo” or whatever to be on medication; on the contrary she knew that this was what helped her. I feel like in a lot of novels medication is presented as the actual devil, and it’s time this got distigmatised.

Something else I wanted to mention that I’ve not seen in any other review is that THERE ARE PEOPLE OF THE LGBT+ SPECTRUM AND THEY ARE CENTRAL TO THE PLOT. Our main character is bisexual and her sexuality is discussed in a VERY good way. She discusses her insecurites and her coming to terms with who she is and her sexuality in general.

*for those who are unaware rapid cycling is a kind of sub type of bipolar disorder, in which the person goes through mood changes rapidly; from week to week to sometimes day to day or even many mood changes within the same day.

Trigger Warning: bipolar disorder, manic episodes, depressive episodes, mention of suicide.
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