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336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 8, 2018
I hated when my dad gendered the stupid truck. To retaliate, I called my boobs Brock and Chad, which my dad hated with equal fervor.
I looked at Rose. “Let her tell the story. She’s really unbiased, like Fox News.”
Upon closer inspection, the Labrador was very good-looking. Not my type at all—I usually fell for guys who looked a little malnourished and tortured.
“The first woman president has to happen in my lifetime, or I’m going to light this entire planet on fire.”
Sometimes teenagers really scared the crap out of hipsters. It was like their tenuous hold on “cool” was exposed around the truly young.
I realized right then—how disappointed you could be when you were all in with someone. When you cared so deeply. How your heart could break, so precisely and quickly.
“How is that legal? What has this country come to? Oh, better not let in refugees, but sure, hey, let a minor fly to Central America!”
Suddenly, Rose was all up in my space. “Did you cook pork in this pan beforehand?”this is disgusting. i'm not standing for this crap.
“Yep.”
“Clara! You can’t do that! Some vegetarians are really picky about that! And pork is actually forbidden by some religions and cultures.”
I watched the eggplant sizzle in the oil, bubbles popping. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them. They’ll just have to wonder why their food is suddenly more delicious. Hint: pork.”
Rose gasped. “Clara, I’m serious!”
“I know you are, and I don’t care.” I grabbed a bunch of scallions and chopped them. Aggressively. “If I had to use a new pan for every freaking vegetarian order, I’d be behind and washing pans constantly.”
Suddenly, Rose was all up in my space. “Did you cook pork in this pan beforehand?”
“Yep.”
“Clara! You can’t do that! Some vegetarians are really picky about that! And pork is actually forbidden by some religions and cultures.”
I watched the eggplant sizzle in the oil, bubbles popping. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them. They’ll just have to wonder why their food is suddenly more delicious. Hint: pork.”
Rose gasped. “Clara, I’m serious!”
“I know you are, and I don’t care.” I grabbed a bunch of scallions and chopped them. Aggressively. “If I had to use a new pan for every freaking vegetarian order, I’d be behind and washing pans constantly.”