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Children Learn What They Live Parenting to Inspire Values

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Starting from the perspective of emotional intelligence, the book makes the point that the child is always nurtured from their parents. The author reminds of parents that they should take the time to organize family life and know about appreciating and nurturing the child's inherent qualities and self-expression ability.

231 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

90 people are currently reading
754 people want to read

About the author

Dorothy Law Nolte

19 books11 followers

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5 stars
218 (43%)
4 stars
188 (37%)
3 stars
71 (14%)
2 stars
17 (3%)
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5 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
Profile Image for Hend.
177 reviews291 followers
October 3, 2018
كتاب تربوي هام يوضح أثر البيئة والسلوكيات والقيم والاتجاهات السائدة في تلك البيئة على شخصية الطفل، ويقدم عدد من القصص الواقعية والنصائح العملية من أجل تنشئة أفضل للطفل، وإن كان بعضها صعب التطبيق أو مثالي بدرجة كبيرة
5 reviews
October 13, 2008
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.


If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

I remember when I was a young child, my mother had a wooden scroll (you know the kind they used to print calendars on back in the day) in our kitchen of this poem that Dorothy Law Nolte originally wrote back in the mid-fifties. Those words stuck with me, and it is no coincidence that I have a small copy of the same poem on my refrigerator door and it has been there since I had my son who is now 5 years old. I just keep reading the poem (and now this book) whenever I have doubts about my parenting skills or a spur-of-the-moment decision that I have made as a parent. I don't know if it is psychological, but I've found that it seems to "keep me on task", so to speak, with my ultimate agenda to raise a morally-conscious young man. So many parents get caught up in the day to day responsibilities of raising a child, such as feeding, bathing, clothing, sheltering, etc. that a lot of the actual "emotional raising of a person" gets lost. I've found that this book is a good "how-to guide" for any parent who is interested in helping to develop the moral compass and emotional well-being of their children. If you are a parent, i recommend that you get a copy of this book today, or better yet, you can download a copy of the poem on the internet, and apply it to the everyday teachings of your children!
Profile Image for Caroline Gurgel.
287 reviews66 followers
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July 31, 2019
De cara, as autoras de “As crianças aprendem o que vivenciam” já alertam: ninguém se propõe a magoar seus filhos de propósito e, no entanto, é isto o que os pais fazem com frequência. Elas dizem que terminamos transmitindo nossas dificuldades emocionais para os filhos e que, parar mudar isto, é preciso optar por viver de forma consciente e ter coragem de romper com padrões negativos.⠀

O livro é simples e serve para nos lembrar de coisas que, no fundo, já sabemos. Sabemos, mas terminamos deixando “para um outro dia em que eu esteja mais calma, com menos pressa, com menos coisas para fazer e mais tempo para educar”. As crianças aprendem o que vivenciam vem nos lembrar que TODAS as nossas ações estão sendo absorvidas, TODOS os dias. Que a maneira como lidamos com nossos sentimentos mostra aos nossos filhos o que eles devem fazer com os seus. Portanto, devemos estar conscientes de tudo que fazemos e falamos sempre. SEMPRE!⠀

Não adianta falar o que esperamos de nossos filhos, devemos ser exemplo. Esta é a mensagem principal deste livro.⠀

Gostei bastante e, embora eu esperasse um pouco mais, recomendo, sim, a leitura.

www.historiasdepapel.com.br

ig: @historiasdepapel_
22 reviews
April 30, 2008
Good and reinforcing of what I know to be true, makes me feel more confidant that I am a good mother. Provide the best example that you possibly can for your children and then let them be themselves and trust in that.
Profile Image for Kara.
597 reviews4 followers
August 25, 2019
I thought this book was extremely practical not just in the various acts of parenting described but also in specific ways to implement the principles including suggested wording. Not written with a Christian worldview, so read with discernment, but so many biblical principles here that a Christian parent could easily support these concepts with scripture.

“Children are continuously learning from their parents. Your children are paying attention to you. Perhaps not what you tell them to do, but certainly to what they actually see you do. You are their first and most powerful role models. Parents can strive to teach certain values, but children will inevitably absorb whatever values are transmitted through their parents’ behavior, feelings, and attitudes in everyday living. How you express and manage your own freezings becomes a model that will be remembered by your children throughout their lifetimes.”

“It is what we do with our children that counts, much more than what we say or even what we believe. Our values are transmitted across the generations through our behavior. Our children witness and absorb the way we live together day to day, and what they learn serves as a model for them all their lives, affecting not only them, but their children. We can think of our loving actions as a kind of chain of love that stretches both forward and back across the generations.”
Profile Image for Lacey Louwagie.
Author 7 books68 followers
September 4, 2019
A pretty basic primer on the philosophy of "positive parenting," with lots of anecdotes (fictional or true? unclear) about how to do things "right" and a few examples of how to do things "wrong." More an inspirational tome than concrete guidance, with very little evidence or research to back up the assertions. Not much new for someone already on board with the parenting style advocated here, but it's an easy, accessible read, and I'm not going to dis anything too bad that helps people be more compassionate, thoughtful parents.
Profile Image for Victoria.
519 reviews7 followers
May 2, 2018
This book was given as a gift for the birth of my first child, and I found it was very grounding, and not preachy and very motivating as a new parent. As a teacher I also see how the advice in these pages can be translated to my classroom.

A great book for parents, and for anyone who works with or around children of all ages!
36 reviews2 followers
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March 7, 2020
I don't have kids but I was curious about this book, I think this is a very interesting book that talks about kid's psychology and even though I'm not a mother I think this will help me in the future to understand more about kids. It is very important to raise a kid properly and this book talks about it. What they experience in their childhood will follow them through adulthood and that's why is important to know the correct patterns of raising a child and you can find them in this book. So even if you don't have kids now, reading this book will help you understand them.
Profile Image for Huda Albahrani.
12 reviews2 followers
April 27, 2022
في صفحات هذا الكتاب ما يُصلح من أنفسنا كمربين فيَصلح ابناءنا .. فالأطفال يتعلمون ما يعايشونه..

ماقد أعجبني في هذا الكتاب هو أنه في كل فصل يتحدث عن بيت من قصيدة لـ" الدكتورة دوروثي لونولتي"المختصة في التربية مع وجود الأمثله و وجود الحلول للأهل للتخلص من التصرفات الخاطئة و التي غالبا تكون من غير قصد

كتاب جميل جدا ممتع في طرحه غني في محتواه بكل مفيد انصح به لكل أم و أب أو معلم و معلمة
Profile Image for Anharivers.
36 reviews1 follower
December 29, 2017
الكتاب ملئ بالنصائح المميزة لﻷمهات والآباء المدعمة بقصص تربوية واقعية لمواقف تعلمنا كيفية التعامل مع ابناءنا
Profile Image for د.نادر الملاح.
Author 7 books36 followers
December 26, 2015
كتاب مفيد ومهم جداً لكل مربي لانتهاجه منهجية عملية واقعية في استعراض القيم السلوكيات والبواعث المقابلة لها:
يتعلم الأطفال القلق إذا نشأوا في جو من الخوف
يتعلم الأطفال الرثاء لحالهم إذا نشأوا في جو يشيع فيها الإشفاق لى الذات
يتعلم الأطفال تقدير الشيء إذا نشأوا في جو من الإطراء

بهذه الكيفية يستعرض الكتاب القيم والسلوكيات وبواعثها، مع تعزيز العرض بالقصص والبيان.

لعله لو تسنى لي مطالعة الكتاب في نسخته الأصلية باللغة الانجليزية كنت قد منحته تقييماً أعلى نظراً لمحتواه ومنهجية عرضه، إلا أن قراءة النسخة العربية (ترجمة مكتبة جرير) كان فيه من الملل ما يكفي لكي يقرر القارئ التوقف عن القراءة رغم أهمية الكتاب، وإن كنتُ لم أقدم على ذلك فأكملت الكتاب كاملاً على مضض لقيمة محتواه. في تقديري الترجمة الجافة دون الأخذ بعين الاعتبار ضرورة أقلمة الطرح بما يناسب الثقافة العربية لم تخدم هدف الكتاب بصورة جيدة.

مع ذلك، أنصح بمطالعة الكتاب، وكلي أمل في أن تشهد المكتبة العربية نسخة مترجمة بصورة أفضل من هذا الإصدار.
Profile Image for Irina Ro.
80 reviews6 followers
June 23, 2018
Mi-a plăcut poezia plină de înțelepciune. Are multe sfaturi simple și realizabile pentru educația pozitivă a copiilor. Paralel, se simte influența cunoștințelor și specificul anilor '50 în domeniul educației și formării de personalitate. Titlul face parte din categoria ce e genial e simplu: copiii învață într-adevăr ceea ce trăiesc.
563 reviews1 follower
November 21, 2018
Based on Dorothy Law Nolte's poem of the same name, Children Learn What They Live expands each couplet into a magical recipe for future generations.

A book written for parents and equally inspirational for passionate educators, Nolte reminds us all of the power of influence and the need to lead by example. This book of not-so-common common sense urges parents to raise their kids with positivity, praise, truthfulness, and friendliness--creating an environment of trust and a world of difference in who our future children become.

Every parent and teacher should read and live out this book. Every citizen of the world, for that matter.
62 reviews8 followers
January 5, 2020
As I scanned through the contents of this book, I began to wonder how much this book would mean to me by teaching us how we could learn through experiences, whether positive or negative. We may not realise HOW we have become who we are, but with these acceptances, fairness, friendliness, fear, criticism, pity, jealousy, tolerance, encouragement and so on that we experience can teach us how to live.

Indeed with encouragement we learn confidence, but what about jealousy? well then we learn to feel envy.

Again, this book teaches us that every events that we encounter could build up and stimulate one's growth..
Profile Image for Megan Close Zavala.
453 reviews6 followers
July 17, 2018
What a beautiful book! I stumbled upon this (serendipitously) at a library book sale and finally started reading it last month. This is the best parenting book I’ve read so far. The author has such a kind, comforting voice, free of judgment and full of wisdom. Each chapter is simple and yet profound, and she does a great job breaking down things into manageable steps, empowering you and making you feel as if you too could be an amazing parent. I am sad the book ended; I’ll miss her encouragement and stories.
50 reviews2 followers
January 22, 2020
This book was something that I never read before. It's like a handbook to raising children with a compassionate, confident they need, and how parents and others can give them support. It was quite interesting reading this kind of topic, and I was able to find some connections between this book and myself. While I read this book, I look back at my past and how did I learn from the environment that I grew up. "The way we raise our children today will directly impact who they become as adults." this is a quote from this book that I found. Who I am today is coming from my past, and my future is down on myself today how I learn and live each day. I like this book :)
Profile Image for Maha Taha.
558 reviews5 followers
August 20, 2024
هناك خمس رسائل يحتاج الطفل الى سماعها مرات كثيرة :
لابأس ان تكون مختلفا عن اخوتك او عن الآخرين.
لابأس في ارتكاب الأخطاء .
لا بأس في التعبير عن المشاعر السلبية.
لابأس في ان ترغب بالمزيد.
لابأس في ان تقول لا ، ولكن تذكر ان الأم والأب هما القائدان.
الأطفال جميعا ولدوا ابرياء وطيبين ، وكل طفل يأتي الى العالم متميزا عن غيره وله مشاكله الخاصة، وعلينا مساعدتهم على مجهة تحدياتهم الخاصة ، إضافة الى تنمية مواهبهم الخاصة.
Profile Image for Courtney Cantrell.
Author 27 books19 followers
March 7, 2020
Great little book packed full of excellent, thoughtful points on parenting. I love that it's structured after Nolte's heartfelt poem. This is one of those books I wish I'd read before becoming a parent. It's elegant, simple, compelling, and encouraging. I'd recommend to anyone who's considering having children or already has them.
4 of 5 stars because some updating would be helpful.
24 reviews
March 20, 2022
I thought this book was wonderful. Really helped me learn to parent with love, empathy and respect. All parents should read this book at least once. Im planning on reading this book once a year to refresh myself. Parenting is hard and it can be easy to get caught up and forget alot of whats really important.
Profile Image for Guilherme.
12 reviews
December 26, 2017
It's kind of obvious and nothing super original. But even then, it's such a beautiful read that lives up to the original poem. The kind of book that serves as an excellent reminder of what kind of parent you want to be. Very nice read.
Profile Image for Jessica.
49 reviews1 follower
July 24, 2022
I would have given 5 stars but some of it could be significantly shortened. The chapters and sections within are very short but not every section was necessary to get the point across. Good information. Definitely a book I will come back to re-read.
Profile Image for Rua Mahir.
14 reviews
April 30, 2019
كتاب جميل
لكل فكرة تطرح مثال يذكر
بعيد عن النمطية بأسلوب بسيط وافكار عملية
Profile Image for James Lankford.
16 reviews
Read
July 11, 2019
Great book for giving your children roots and wings to prepare them for when they grow up and set sail on their own. I wish I had read this a long time ago!
Profile Image for Alison.
272 reviews
July 19, 2020
Very sound and practical advice, by the author of the poem with the same name. Everyone could gain wisdom by reading this book. This will surely be a classic for many generations ahead.
4 reviews
October 23, 2021
كتاب تربوي يبين أثر السلوكيات و النتائج الظاهرة لدى اطفالنا
Profile Image for Danielle.
209 reviews17 followers
January 2, 2022
I think this will be useful to refer to clients who struggle with building meaningful and lasting relationships with their children. A strong forum on values over punishment.
Profile Image for Austin Aebata.
2 reviews
June 14, 2022
Excited to read this book because it is going to be inspirational reading all through the book. There will be much reflection and new learning, as modelling will shape children's lives.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Maya Omar.
3 reviews
August 20, 2022
كتاب ثقيل اللغة نسبيا لأنه مترجم إلا أنه يحتوي على العديد من الحكم والمواقف الحياتية اللطيفة التي يمكن أن تناسب التربية السوية لأي طفل في أي مجتمع أرشحه ولكن ليس كبداية في القراءة في مجال التربية.
Profile Image for Elmira Șumutovschi-Andreev.
6 reviews
April 4, 2023
Se citește usor, exemple din viața de zi cu zi, sunt descrise emoțiile copiilor și sfaturi utile pentru ca părinții să insufle valori ce duc la încrederea în sine a copilului și viitorului adult. E un ghid util pentru fiecare părinte
Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews

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