An American Demon: A Memoir

by Jack Grisham

Depravity, redemption, terror, and spiritual deliverance abound in this physically and psychologically complex memoir from the front man of the pioneer punk band True Sounds of Liberty (TSOL). Spanning the extremes between hard-core punk memoir and handbook for recovery and survival, this narrative documents a youth rebellion that changed the world and offered life lessons rooted in 1980s punk culture. At times unsettling and violent, this book is doused in aggression, rebellion, alcoholism, and drug abuse, culminating in tough lessons of sobriety and absolution. This captivating, dark, and ultimately redemptive life story will fascinate fans of punk and resonate with those who have suffered from addiction issues.

Genres: Music, Punk, Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Drugs

Audiobook

First published May 1, 2011

Reviews

[Chad · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jack Grisham is a talented writer. However, he needs an editor. If I had to read one more elongated diatribe about how he's a demon and we're merely humans that are somehow ignorant of his incredible knowledge of the underworld, I was gonna puke. Got it, buddy, you're a real tough guy, you're craaazy. And hey, I'll give Grisham credit on the demon stuff - he is an asshole. No doubt about it. Who else would punch his pregnant girlfriend in the belly, threaten kids with a sawed off shotgun and try to run people off the road at random? At 17, I would've read this book with glee, probably thinking he's a bad ass. But these days I just look at him like a psychotic dick with a testosterone problem.

Of course, that could be Grisham's point, he's confessing his worst deeds to his audience... looking for an answer within the mire of hell. And find God he does. Or redemption. Or whatever. And my hat's off to Grisham for coming out the other end a changed man. Or is he a changed man? Honestly, I couldn't tell. He's so busy bragging about his frenetic, idiotic pranks, it was hard to see any wisdom behind the words. No, I don't think he's changed much. So, he's sober, so what? Frankly, there's something very disturbing and annoying about his narrative - he seems wholeheartedly proud for his shitty behavior. He describes certain scenarios with an over the top bravado as if his victims deserved what they got. It reminded me of Dee Dee Ramone's book which dilineates all of his bad behavior, while also excusing it with, well, they made me do it.

This is not an honest book about seeing the light. Honestly, if Grisham saw the light, or found redemption, than I really think he'd be less mysoginist (he basically hates women, doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out) and I think the book would be a little more heartfelt and humble. It kind of reads like a bully's manifesto - the weak deserve to be hurt, etc. I'm not saying the guy should apologize for every deed... but I also don't think he should be like, "Then I took a gun to the dick's head and hell yeah!" kind of bs. And yeah, maybe he's too tough to feel shame or regret, maybe that's not punk rock... but acting like a fucking moronic, violent jock with bravado squirting out of every pore isn't too punk rock either.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed the book. It's very entertaining. But Grisham is a douchebag. And btw... I love TSOL. i am not an out of town visitor to punk rock land. I grew up w/ punk rock. It's who I am. But this is not my version of punk rock. Punk is about independence and strength of character... it's not just about violence. Violence should be worked out through punk rock... or what's the point? Violence should be investigated and analyzed. Grisham just thinks it's fucking cool to be violent. It's not. YOu're an asshole, Grisham. I feel sorry for your wife and kids for living with you. And you need to write another book about redemption. Start the next one with, "I was just kidding."

[catechism · Rating 4 out of 5]

It says, on the jacket, "If you've ever found yourself unable to turn away from witnessing an accident, crash, or natural disaster, you'll read An American Demon straight through." And so I did. I had to put it down a few times -- it isn't a nice book, after all; Grisham wasn't a nice person -- but I didn't stay away for long. I'm not even sure it's a GOOD book, quite frankly, but I seem to have lost all perspective on what a good book even means anymore.

...let me back up. If you know anything about the early LA punk scene, you have heard stories about Jack Grisham, either about what an absolute asshole he was (by which I mean he was basically a sociopath, torturing people and killing animals and throwing people over the sides of bridges for the lulz), or about his incredible charisma. Probably both; the two things are inextricably linked. And now he has written his memoirs, sort of, except in this dissociated multiple-personality way, first-person through the eyes of a demon. That distance -- and I can see why he had to do it, because it's difficult to write this kind of stuff when it's fiction, and it's harder when it's real, so this must have been exceedingly rough going if he's reformed even a quarter as much as he claims to (I believe him, but, then again, that's his thing: you always believe him) -- sometimes makes things strange, and the demon persona gets a little pretentious sometimes. Like, he is the #1 demon. Really? You're the worst thing out there? This is deeply ugly shit, yes, but it's not even close to the worst thing out there.

Anyway. I don't know. Like I said, I couldn't put it down. Read it if you like early LA punk/hardcore, trainwrecks or amorality tales (he makes no apologies, which is another thing the demon persona allows him to do: just say what happened, without getting caught up in the morality of it, or in excuses or justifications or apologia; it is what it is, and now it's done).

[GD · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holy shit, Jack Grisham is totally fucked up. I really don't know how to describe this book, it's not even really a memoir, because he talks about himself as a literal demon, and sometimes has conversations with Satan. Unless he's schizophrenic, we have to just see this as a memoir with fiction thrown in for fun???

He also comes across as, seriously, the most unlikable guy ever. I mean not like Hitler unlikable, but like the meanest fucking dude you went to school with times 10 unlikable. Massive bully, sadist, misogynist, thief, etc etc etc. His saving graces are his crazy charisma (which also pisses you off, because you keep wondering why SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE gets to be the guy who also gets away with everything), his kickass story-telling ability, and, of course, being the singer of one of the best punk bands ever during their best years.

Which reminds me, if you get this book to learn more about TSOL, you'll be disappointed because he really doesn't talk much about it, TSOL is just mentioned to the side as he goes around drinking and destroying things and beating people up.

The ending of the book is also kind of like, just up in the air. OH, the demon is, what, finding a heart because he has a daughter? But not really, because there's really a lot of joy and relish in the retelling his antics in this book. Weird, stupid ending. But overall a really interesting and fun book, if you've got the stomach for such a despicable character. If more of his books appear on Kindle I'll definitely get them. I'm kind of interested to know how such a fiend ended up getting sober, which this book doesn't talk about at all.

[Bfg1971 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jack Grisham is a human piece of crap which is what made this book so fascinating to read. I was hooked within the first few pages and it kept me up at night wanting to find out what happened next. I am familiar with Mr. Grisham's work as front man of the band TSOL but knew nothing of his personal life. His life as a teen and young adult reminded me of a modern telling of Clockwork Orange. This certainly isn't for everyone, but I couldn't put it down.

[Christopher Skoczen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kind of a disappointment. TSOL was and still is one of my favorite bands, and as someone who spent a lot of time in the punk scene I've seen my fair share of characters, but Grisham is just unbearable. Often great artists are terrible people. In this case, Grisham's art is songwriting, not memoir. Not only he's not a pleasant person, but the book relishes in that conceit. Too bad.

[Mary BookHounds · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not for everyone. It is gritty, uncomfortable and much like a train wreck, you won't want to look away or miss a word. I just wish that there was an audio version since I think it would have been even better to hear Jack Grisham recount these tales in his own voice. Since this is labelled a memoir, I am sure that there are certain elements of the story that are not exactly how others remember them and are colored through vast amounts of alcohol and drugs. If you know that going in, you won't be disappointed. Just like punk rock, there is a lot of in-your-face anger and violence, so if you can't mosh with Jack's brain, don't attempt it.

The book recounts his childhood and growing up in the early 1960-70's with a pretty common story during this time period -- a lot of teens drank, did drugs and had sex. I think if he had been born a decade later, he would have been labeled ADD and put on drugs immediately. Instead Grisham self medicates to the extreme like many of this generation. He pretty much drinks and takes whatever is put in front of him. You can really feel the pain he is experiencing. If this had been fiction, it would fit nicely into the paranormal realm that is so popular right now, I mean, I know I have read stories about evil demons that rape and pillage in pretty much the same manner. It takes on a whole nother meaning when it is presented as truth.

The demon analogy really works. It explains how he drove himself to change and become "human" through sheer willpower and a few people encouraging him to change. The only negative thing I can say about this book is that Grisham's charisma only somewhat comes through on the pages. He is one of those larger than life characters that cannot be contained by pages. Oh, and isn't that cover spectacular!

[Brenda Perlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jack Grisham writes one hell of a book! An American Demon: A Memoir is disturbing, dark, and makes you feel like you need a shower just to wash off the dirt but at the same time you can't stop reading because it's his truth and its mesmerizing, intoxicating, filthy and yet super smart. Mr. Demon takes you places you have never been, gratefully and does so with a clever hand. Written in such a way that you become disgusted with yourself for even wanting to read more but the demon has lured you in and there's no turning back.

Quote ~

"People have asked me what it feels like to be admired, to be feared, to have anything you want, any woman you want-and I'd tell them it's wonderful, satisfying and exciting. Until it stops working and then it's hell. When the flavors of life cease to be bold and enticing, and everything you love has the taste of sand-bland, heartless, unsatisfying fare. When you get to that point where you finally realize that nothing in this world will fill you, it's the pinnacle of loneliness."

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was somewhat entertaining from front to back, but really entertaining in the middle. The beginning when he was a child and the end after Jack's punk rock career ended weren't my favorite parts. I did enjoy the middle that was chalked full of mis adventures during the TSOL years and those leading up to them and those shortly after.

The whole demon thing got old very early on. I could have done without it. But it seemed like this was Jack's way of telling his story.

The biggest thing that bummed me out was going on youtube and seeing TSOL play recently, with an over weight grandpa belting out songs he sang in his youth. It looked more like a retirement home karaoke night version of TSOL.

I guess that goes along with the point of this book, old "rockstars" like jack just can't let go and move on with their lives, they're always looking back on the best years and trying to relive that in some way.

If you're a fan of TSOL, this can be a fun read, but also extremely depressing in the end.

[Hundeschlitten · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've yet to read a book that better captures the manic desperation of my time growing up as a punk kid in Southern California than Jack Grisham's "An American Demon," of the existential dichotomy that everything was possible but that nothing was right. To read my full review, click the link here:

http://aholeofthecentury.blogspot.com...

[Andy · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are times in my life where I have considered if I am a horrible person, compared to what's in this memoir I should be up for sainthood.
The book is well written is disturbing, dark and totally gripping even if he leans on some tropes in his writing over and over.

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jack Grisham was a shitty dude, on purpose. This book is filled with stories of him hurting people, robbing places, dating and marrying an underage girl. Most of it because he's a demon. But he warns you about that going into it, you know you're not getting the, "this is how the band happened and blah blah blah" story from him.

"Under the Big Black Sun" was a nice history lesson in how punk began in California and briefly touched on the people who ruined punk for them, NOFX's "Hepatitis Bathtub" also made mention of some of the violence that started to become common in the scene, "An American Demon" gives you a taste of that from the source, the frontman of Vicious Circle and T.S.O.L.

A chunk of it comes off pretty boastful, but I think that's what makes the fall as heavy as it is. There comes a time when the stories stop being about some young punk asshole running things and turn into him having to deal with the fact that he's not who he used to be and everyone knows it. I spent half the book rolling my eyes at the demon thing but once you see where it goes, I think it worked out really well.

[Joel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is undoubtedly a horrifying story of cruelty and selfishness that will not be for everyone, but if you can stomach all the torture, depravity, violence and abuse then hey, you just might like it.

I've seen some reviews that tend to be critical about the narrative device of the 'demon' narrator and, whilst I do think at times it can seem overdone, the way in which it relates to one of the key themes/symbols of the book is magnificent. For this story is a perverted re-imagining of the Biblical tale of Job and the style of narration serves this purpose. This time God (referred to as 'The Man') and the devil ('the not-quite') make a bet on the soul of one of the devil's best men. Instead of Satan testing Job's faith and strength in the face of crushing adversity, God attempts to woo back a demon by reaching out through remorse, conscience and mere humanity. In this way, the demon is symbolic of one person's account of being totally unconnected to the world and then later feeling (dis)connected through suffering and remorse.

File under uneasy reading.

[Kenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

The reviews below mine will more than adequately describe what I just read. A vastly different 'Any-Punk' story than the other one I finished last week, 'Violence Girl' by Alice Bag, which had a much lighter tone. The literary devices employed here work, and Jack's tale is somewhat mitigated, perhaps, by the 'Demon' analogy, but in this story it is quite effective. It's not that I felt him holding back...there's probably no way he did, statutes of limitations notwithstanding. But as is said, and as perhaps Jack might agree, you can put a bow on a pig, etc. In this case, there's no bow, and the pig is lain bare for all to roast. Not an easy tale to write, I can imagine, but living it must have been much more difficult. Understanding some of what has come for Jack in the years beyond what this partial-memoir describes, I have much greater appreciation for this chronicling, and thankfulness that Mr. Grisham is still here, and alive, to create, inspire, and otherwise continue to terrorize the world, albeit in a completely different way.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gentleman Jack is the Sage I've Always Craved

Jack Grisham was a product of his environment but the depth in this man from being deeply emersed in the darkest and lightest parts of the human psyche makes for a debauched and satisfyingly entertaining, yet uplifting and awe-inspiring story. His tales from his youth are unbelievable, but as any real punk rocker knows, pushing it to the limit and saying "Fuck you!" to the world in all of the ignorant bliss of youth is something that'll make your heart swell with pride for the rest of your life. Some of us, like Jack, are lucky enough to wake up one day and begin the painful journey of transcending. Learning from hard lessons is what life's all about and not everyone is lucky enough to live through theirs. Thanks Jack! You're an inspiration and a rare specimen, indeed!

[Andrea Janov · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not like this book. It did not shock me into thinking I am square. It all seemed like a cheap ploy. From the voice of a self indulgent man who thrives on the chaos he creates. He says that these events happened, but it sounds like a list that someone can Google "Dear Google, what are the most disturbing tropes I can put in a book?". It did not have a lot of substance to it, by saying he was a demon, instead of saying that he acted like one, he removes all responsibility that he could have taken on to lead the reader to feeling some sort of redemption, which I think that is what he was going for on the last page. Honestly, I skimmed a lot because it just felt like misogynistic male bravado from someone trying to live up to he rep by telling fish tales, that he may or may not believe himself.

[Seth Mattei · Rating 5 out of 5]

TSOL were always the exemplary great old school hardcore band to me when I was a kid, and Jack Grisham’s incendiary attitude and snotty vocals were the core of that band’s awesome delivery. Grisham’s memoir doesn’t disappoint. Its contents are as disturbing as blasting “Code Blue” on the family stereo for the first time.

This book reads like the best hardcore songs: urgent, unsettling, totally damaged, but with an undeniable heart beating in some hidden place. I was at times disgusted, offended, and driven to tears, but the strange poetic rhythm and plodding beat kept me going, and the twist at the end paid off nicely. Be warned, though: this is a hellish, dangerous ride.

[Tom Schulte · Rating 2 out of 5]

Grisham's memoir portray's himself as an actual demon working to wreak havoc on earth. The whole mythology doesn't hold up under scrutiny as the millenia old spirit has immense experiences yet still experiences the fumbling education on sex, etc. Well, so Grisham is no C.S. Lewis and this is no The Screwtape Letters. It all seems like artifice; a sloppy dodge to avoid confronting his own psychopathy.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to give this 4.5 stars. Only a half off for some parts being incredibly disturbing to me.

I’m on a bit of a memoir bender recently and prior to this book falling into my hands, I have heard of Jack Grisham or TSOL before. And I do listen to some punk music from time to time.
This book was recommended to me to read by a friend of mine who thought I enjoy it.
I like true crime, I love American Psycho. But this guy is like a textbook Sociopath out of the DSM-5. He’s a true A-hole but Jack’s writing style and prose is good. I dig it and I think overall this was a good book. Even if the man himself has lived a dark life and wasn’t good person.
I’m glad I finished the book!

[Gustavo Cruzeiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this gem years ago and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I remember not being able to stop reading it.

Some really interesting stories about the origins of the punk scene in SoCal, mainly not such nice and flattering stories to be honest, but nonetheless it’s an important picture of a historical moment in time.

I definitely recommend this one!

[Ken Avin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good memoir of one of my "punk rock heroes". However, as they say, sometimes you find out things about your "heroes" you didn't want to know. That being said, I still enjoyed this book about Jack's life. Found out we had alot in common in our childhood. Even the "sad parts" were good.

[Joshua Nykamp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disturbing might be the best way to put it. It's a good book and Jack writes in a cool poetic style. If you're looking for TSOL history it's probably not the best book, he touches on the band but not a lot.

[Jan Gerd · Rating 2 out of 5]

replace the word "demon" with "asshole" throughout the entire book and it would make a lot more sense. justifying the most psychotic and depraved behaviour by claiming that you're a demon and not a human person is a really stupid take. 360 pages of this bullshit

[Grayson Wasteland · Rating 5 out of 5]

most extreme life ever

[Brian Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

nice

[crow Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great writer, a great mind, and one hell of a story.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is like a real life version of Last Exit to Brooklyn or Clockwork Orange. A+

[Cat Schooley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gritty, powerful, moving, disturbing. A tale not for the faint of heart.

[Patrick O'Neil · Rating 5 out of 5]

You think you know someone and then you realize you don't. We all have demons. Jack Grisham shows us his. It's a honor to call Jack a friend, a contemporary, and a hell of a writer.

[Robert Giesenhagen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jack Grisham is definitely an original character in a world full of complete automatons. You could never say this isn’t a fun intoxicating read but after a while it really gets hard to listen to someone flex so hard on themselves so much. I’m almost certain that it’s intentional and meant to be taken not so seriously, but all the same.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

An American Demon is a fast-paced rollercoaster of action-packed stories but Jack’s writing is really insufferable. He can’t go more than a dozen pages without seeking self-validation by reminding the reader of what a “big man” he is and the redundant rants about being a ‘demon’ only harm the quality and flow of his writing. It was like American Psycho had a baby with The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs and A Clockwork Orange, but his ego ultimately ruined the high potential the book had. It’s definitely worth a read and is far from boring, including many memorable and shocking moments.