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The War Against the Assholes
Mike Wood is a teenager at a decidedly unprestigious Catholic school in Manhattan, accustomed to solving problems using brawn rather than brains.
One day, his nerdy classmate Hob Callahan persuades him to read a mysterious old book of unknown authorship, The Calendar of Slights. On the face of things, the book is a guide to performing clever card tricks; but in fact, it is a test for recruiting new members to join a secret cell of radical magicians.
Amazingly, Mike passes with flying colours unlocking not only his potential magic powers - but also the door to New York City's vast and hidden underground network of warlocks, sorcerers and mages.
Here, with Hob as his unlikely guide, Mike's role as a steadfast soldier begins. For there is a war being waged. A war between rivaling factions of magicians that has spanned the ages. A clandestine war against the establishment: a war against The Assholes.
One day, his nerdy classmate Hob Callahan persuades him to read a mysterious old book of unknown authorship, The Calendar of Slights. On the face of things, the book is a guide to performing clever card tricks; but in fact, it is a test for recruiting new members to join a secret cell of radical magicians.
Amazingly, Mike passes with flying colours unlocking not only his potential magic powers - but also the door to New York City's vast and hidden underground network of warlocks, sorcerers and mages.
Here, with Hob as his unlikely guide, Mike's role as a steadfast soldier begins. For there is a war being waged. A war between rivaling factions of magicians that has spanned the ages. A clandestine war against the establishment: a war against The Assholes.
272 pages, Paperback
First published June 16, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
April 5, 2016
The world is a bit like The Magicians, but Mike & his friends don't go to the school. Those who do are 'the assholes'. Why? That's the story. I'm still not sure if they really are or are any worse than our side, at any rate. Interesting take on magic - never really explained, but I just know there's a lot more out there. (Get writing, Munson!)
Mike Wood, is a pretty typical teenage boy - a bit of a jock (football only), lazy, constantly horny, touchy. Not an endearing character, but very true to life. Munson had me laughing quite a few times, generally inappropriately, too. Teenagers are kind of fun from a distance - all hormones, ideals, answers with a lot of questions, angst, cynical wonder... Munson captures this well.
I wanted to like this book more than I did. It has a lot to recommend it. It doesn't spell everything out in bold letters, but allows us to slowly realize what it's all about through terse action sequences. Munson never tells if he can show. Description is kept to a minimum, but is almost poetic at times. I mean that in a good way - like Zelazny does it - a few descriptive words that capture the mood & let my imagination go with it.
His prose was as terse as Zelazny's too - a little too little at times. I get the feeling he went back, edited out all extraneous sentences & then took out another 15% just to be safe. I could usually keep up, but there were a few times when I was really lost & there are still things (especially motivations at the end) that I don't understand at all. I'm not sure if I missed something due to the audio book or not. Certainly some sections caught me off guard & were harder to catch up with in this format. It was particularly hard when he jumped ahead & then brought us up to speed.
Is this a standalone? (I want a follow up, Munson. You can't leave me hanging, although you probably will. You're kind of a prick, you know that? No one could write Mike so well unless they were & you did a great job.)
I think I'd like to read this in print at some point. A second read would probably shed a lot more light on the story. I have a feeling I'll like it a lot more then. I want to read more by this author too, although it looks as if he only wrote one other novel & that was 5 years ago. (You're never going to write a sequel to this, are you?) Wish I could give this book a higher rating. Maybe some day.
Mike Wood, is a pretty typical teenage boy - a bit of a jock (football only), lazy, constantly horny, touchy. Not an endearing character, but very true to life. Munson had me laughing quite a few times, generally inappropriately, too. Teenagers are kind of fun from a distance - all hormones, ideals, answers with a lot of questions, angst, cynical wonder... Munson captures this well.
I wanted to like this book more than I did. It has a lot to recommend it. It doesn't spell everything out in bold letters, but allows us to slowly realize what it's all about through terse action sequences. Munson never tells if he can show. Description is kept to a minimum, but is almost poetic at times. I mean that in a good way - like Zelazny does it - a few descriptive words that capture the mood & let my imagination go with it.
His prose was as terse as Zelazny's too - a little too little at times. I get the feeling he went back, edited out all extraneous sentences & then took out another 15% just to be safe. I could usually keep up, but there were a few times when I was really lost & there are still things (especially motivations at the end) that I don't understand at all. I'm not sure if I missed something due to the audio book or not. Certainly some sections caught me off guard & were harder to catch up with in this format. It was particularly hard when he jumped ahead & then brought us up to speed.
Is this a standalone? (I want a follow up, Munson. You can't leave me hanging, although you probably will. You're kind of a prick, you know that? No one could write Mike so well unless they were & you did a great job.)
I think I'd like to read this in print at some point. A second read would probably shed a lot more light on the story. I have a feeling I'll like it a lot more then. I want to read more by this author too, although it looks as if he only wrote one other novel & that was 5 years ago. (You're never going to write a sequel to this, are you?) Wish I could give this book a higher rating. Maybe some day.
July 31, 2015
Couldn't do it. Too choppy. All the sentences didn't make sense. There were too many random changes of scenery without any real explanation, at least at first. And the main character was too much like Holden Caulfield with his sarcasm and testosterone.
Seriously though, it was just a little too weird for me. The structure of the book was just so short and abrupt and annoying, and I had way too hard of a time looking past it to the story underneath. And it was just a gimmick--because when I read the Notes from the Author, they were normal people sentences. So that just tells me that this author tried to do something fancy and wasn't able to pull it off enough for me.
The actual plot was pretty cool, and I feel like I would have enjoyed it significantly more without the stupid sentences. Actual magic tricks being used to defeat people!? Magic mirrors that capture people!? Lots and lots of card tricks? Yes. So much yes. I can get behind a story like that. I can get behind a story with the name "Asshole" in the book title too. All of that are successful bits.
Just that damn sentence structure.
Seriously though, it was just a little too weird for me. The structure of the book was just so short and abrupt and annoying, and I had way too hard of a time looking past it to the story underneath. And it was just a gimmick--because when I read the Notes from the Author, they were normal people sentences. So that just tells me that this author tried to do something fancy and wasn't able to pull it off enough for me.
The actual plot was pretty cool, and I feel like I would have enjoyed it significantly more without the stupid sentences. Actual magic tricks being used to defeat people!? Magic mirrors that capture people!? Lots and lots of card tricks? Yes. So much yes. I can get behind a story like that. I can get behind a story with the name "Asshole" in the book title too. All of that are successful bits.
Just that damn sentence structure.
February 26, 2016
Meh. Here are my favorite quotes from the book:
"We're in a war against the assholes" said Hob
"Makes sense," I said, "nobody likes assholes."
*Character comes back from the dead with these words:
"Abracadabra, bitches"
"We're in a war against the assholes" said Hob
"Makes sense," I said, "nobody likes assholes."
*Character comes back from the dead with these words:
"Abracadabra, bitches"
October 19, 2016
I have no idea what the fuck I just read tbh.
October 20, 2017
What the heck did I just read??? This book was really, REALLY strange to say the least. I’m honestly unsure whether I even understood the plot line or not. Having said that, the writing is intriguing - once you get past the “stream-of-consciousness” style. I did kind of enjoy it, even though it left me feeling confused & muddle-headed. I kept falling asleep while trying my darnedest to pay attention to what was going on - which is why it took me so long to finish.
September 7, 2020
This was not a good book for me. It felt like it jumped around to much, skipped sections and just went off on random tangents. Even at the end be of the book, I'm not sure what happened and what was actually achieved by the characters if anything. Had I not been reading it for a book challenge, and the fact it was a short book, it would have been a END for me.
April 29, 2025
Huh? What just happened? Who? Why? How? I have never been more confused at a book before. This was an overly-convoluted mess with characters that made no sense in their actions or motivations, a plot where things just happen with no satisfying conclusion to any of the threads and the whole book ends in an abrupt fart. I saw this book on my local library's shelf and wanted a short fantasy I could peel through in a few days, but a 250-ish page novel took me way longer to trudge through then the other books I had on the account of how...bad it was. It's not even bad in the sense of how people dunk on CoHo books or whatever either. For context, I pained myself to try to read two measly chapters a day to reward myself with Lightlark (what I happened to be dual reading at the time) because at the very least, a bad book with cliche characters I can at least understand is leagues better than a book with a nonsense plot, no characters I cannot understand a single thing about how they think or feel and writing at times that is indecipherable and leaves you in the dark half way through.
The first apparent problem you'll notice is the formatting of this book is strange, leading to what would otherwise be an easy read to take twice as long. The actual story is not too confusing for the first half and the getting around the formatting was the first challenge.
Normally, dialogue between characters is separated by a line break so it is clear and concise to who is speaking and who responded. This book decides to throw multiple lines of dialogue into a singular paragraph leading to pages of crammed writing where you have to really slow your pace to figure out who said what. Statements get regularly interrupted with "[Character] said," which makes you then have to reread from the beginning and try to mentally omit this unneeded interruption. Normal books might use this to break up a dependent clause from an independent clause to describe an action from a character, but this book literally has "[Character] said" and nothing but.
"I would imagine," I said, "This would get annoying over time." "Bark," my dog said. "Did I mention that in this dialogue there is no such thing as an exclamation point or a question mark," I said, "That you will get lost in the sauce as to who is talking and what their tone is because all," I said, "it will say is 'I said'." Combine this with choppy sentences. Where sentence fragments are very common. Never used for emphasis or to highlight something. This makes for hard reading. Not because anything being said is complex. However.
About 50 pages in, I looked up the Goodreads reviews to find a 2.67 average rating. Uh oh. I skipped any spoiler reviews but I did see I wasn't the only one who clashed hard with this writing style, leading to many to DNF it. But I wanted to finish this to see, if maybe, just maybe, there is something hidden in here that would make this test of endurance worth it. As mentioned before, I thought the first half was interesting enough to see where it goes but the remainder ended up being even more of a letdown and left me in utter confusion as to what the hell I wasted so many afternoons trying to get through. This is the part where I break down the plot beats so of you somehow wanted to read this spoilers below.
Mike Wood is the protagonist and he's your typical jock type which I initially thought was interesting because many modern fantasy novels of this kind would be expected to throw us in the shoes of some meek nerdy loner who doesn't seem to fit in with the cool kids, but not Mike. He goes to some prestigious Catholic school where everyone calls each other gay and throws the f-slur around. But you know, it's just trying to tap in to the mindset of what kind of shit talk privileged Catholic boys would say. And it's said by some annoying prick named Gilder and Mike beats him up for being an annoying prick.
Hob approaches Mike post-pummeling and makes a deal with Mike that he won't snitch on Mike if he reads this book he has. Mike agrees and begins reading He Calendar of Sleights, a book that is seemingly a guide to doing card tricks but secretly unlocks magical abilities to those inclined to it. Mike soon discovers he has a knack for magic, but most of his abilities are in making the world around him go in slo-mo so he can punch assholes really well.
Hob then invites him to his secret hideout of fellow weirdo magicians. I couldn't tell you much about these characters aside from basic surface level details. They are deliberately vague as Mike asks them questions and after several drinks he undergoes some kind of initiation. He is forced up to the top of a building under construction and made to walk a plank. Lucky for him, he is able to float back to safety instead of plummeting to his death so he passes.
He later meets Mr. Stone, the mentor character of these delinquent teenagers. He asks Mike if he's with the assholes. Who are the assholes? They're elitist magicians from Mountjoy, some kind of rival school or whatever and have snobbish views on magic such as using exclusively wands to channel their magic. Your mind might go to Wizard Nazis and the book seems to suggest something along the lines of this, but it is never explored more in detail of what kind of organization this is, what their motivations are, nothing. They're just assholes, but as we find out, so are the protagonists.
Hob decides to crash one of these Mountjoy parties because an Asshole there named Quinn has some kind of cool MacGuffin he wants. In a normal story, this might be where protagonist and antagonist exchange some kind of dialogue to give us some reason to hate these assholes other than being told they're assholes. Maybe some kind of evil plot? Or some morally twisted ideal that disturbs our heroes? Nope. They just listen to shoegaze and throw boring parties. Assholes!
Hob finds Quinn and beats him up for the MacGuffin but he is vague to his friends what it even is. This drives the Assholes to enact their revenge.
Mike goes through his school routine when a high ranking Asshole named Potash and some kind of witch lady crash in at the gym and freeze everyone but Mike and Hob. They ask for the MacGuffin but Hob refuses so they beat both of them up and Hob is kidnapped. The cast dick around for a couple of chapters until Mike finds a cigarette case in Hob's locker. He brings it to Vincent, his brother. Vincent's one character trait is that he makes these weird cigarettes for everyone else. They find something called a mappa inside, which is a magical parchment that pinpoints where a person is by saying their name. Now that they know where Hob is, action hijynx can begin! This is unfortunately around the time the plot takes a nosedive and becomes incomprehensible after a semi-coherent thread to follow thus far.
They go to the Mountjoy House and encounter Quinn again with his girlfriend (Her character trait is that she has big tits, thus is called Big Tits by Mike. We get another diatribe about what makes Mike's cock hard.) One of our protagonists, Alabama, holds them at gunpoint. Her character trait is that she has a gun. They march up to where Potash is. It turns out Hob is dead! The who and how isn't explicitly explained, but it's the Assholes so Alabama shoots Potash dead and non-fatally shoots Quinn and Big Tits. Mike and Alabama leave Vincent behind to grieve his brother. I think.
Confusion time. So instead of walking back in the direction they came from, the two climb down a tree, for some reason? I've tried rereading this part and the exact reasoning still doesn't make sense, so who knows and who cares why.
At the bottom of the tree, they find themselves in some kind of dream realm? They wander aimlessly following some river and eating some kind of weird fruit. This would be ample time to get into the heads of either of these characters, but two chapters of this book is wasted on meandering along this river until they find some kind of cave. The noise of the water keeps getting louder and then they plunge in the water and then it's a dark void and then...? I don't know. Time jumps to Mike in his bed days later. What happened? How did he get back? Where's Alabama? Who knows and who cares!
Mike goes back to playing football. They play an away game cut short by a sudden storm. The team's van has its tires slashed so Mike takes the subway home. Weird magic stuff begins to happen. He meets a man he recognizes as having done a tattoo on him. The tattoo man asks him if Hob is alive, Mike asks who Hob is. Mike gets beat up? The guy disappears? Okay? We never learn who this guy is or what he wants and this plot thread is dropped as soon as it's introduced.
Next, the hideout is destroyed and Mr. Stone is found assassinated. Those Assholes! It only took about 200 pages for something assholish to happen that wasn't in retaliation of Hob being an asshole.
Mike and Alabama waste another 20 pages meandering until they get a card from a deck in a receipt tray, so it must be a clue. Or something I guess.
They return to their basement hideout where SURPRISE! Hob is alive. Somehow. Why? How? Never explained. Or maybe it was but it was between the vague dialogue and unclear prose. This is 30 pages from the end and I just wanted to be put out of my misery. Mike punches Hob for being an asshole and he and Alabama leave him there.
Then Mike and Alabama go to her house and they have sex. Okay...no explanation but I guess at this point I know the motivations behind Mike's penis more than I know his own.
Then Mike jogs home to see two bodies in body bags being drug out on stretchers. He freaks out thinking the Assholes killed his parents. But then it turns out it was just the neighbors next door. Why? Never explained. Who? Unknown.
He goes to his room and sees the witch from the gym on his balcony. More dialogue about how he wants to smash. He flips her off. She disappears. The end to that plot point?
Then Alabama says a few days later they have to see Charthouse. Who is Charthouse? Well he was around all along but his only contribution is that he had a cane and did the same vaguespeak as the rest of the characters. He is very ill and then dies. Why? Never explained. Then Alabama is pissed off at Mike for no discernable reason and walks off.
Mike whistles and goes for a jog. The End? What was the point???
I desperately wish for my time back wasted on this. Even the shittiest of shit books I've read have had more cohesion and understandable characters than this. I could see some kind of merit in a book hat I felt wasn't written with me as the target audience in mind but WHO is this written for? Horny teen boys? They'd get bored with all the psuedo-intellectual diatribes of the milquetoast cast. Young adults? They'd get exhausted of the immaturity and stupidity of any of these characters.
I'm beyond frustrated because I wanted to try to like this book, I wanted to try and push back against the confusing narrative and unclear motivations of every character in this book to find someone or something to cling onto as being worth going through the journey. Heed the follies of my attempt and don't bother. I don't know if Munson's other works are any better than this, but it's not worth being doubly disappointed to find out.
The first apparent problem you'll notice is the formatting of this book is strange, leading to what would otherwise be an easy read to take twice as long. The actual story is not too confusing for the first half and the getting around the formatting was the first challenge.
Normally, dialogue between characters is separated by a line break so it is clear and concise to who is speaking and who responded. This book decides to throw multiple lines of dialogue into a singular paragraph leading to pages of crammed writing where you have to really slow your pace to figure out who said what. Statements get regularly interrupted with "[Character] said," which makes you then have to reread from the beginning and try to mentally omit this unneeded interruption. Normal books might use this to break up a dependent clause from an independent clause to describe an action from a character, but this book literally has "[Character] said" and nothing but.
"I would imagine," I said, "This would get annoying over time." "Bark," my dog said. "Did I mention that in this dialogue there is no such thing as an exclamation point or a question mark," I said, "That you will get lost in the sauce as to who is talking and what their tone is because all," I said, "it will say is 'I said'." Combine this with choppy sentences. Where sentence fragments are very common. Never used for emphasis or to highlight something. This makes for hard reading. Not because anything being said is complex. However.
About 50 pages in, I looked up the Goodreads reviews to find a 2.67 average rating. Uh oh. I skipped any spoiler reviews but I did see I wasn't the only one who clashed hard with this writing style, leading to many to DNF it. But I wanted to finish this to see, if maybe, just maybe, there is something hidden in here that would make this test of endurance worth it. As mentioned before, I thought the first half was interesting enough to see where it goes but the remainder ended up being even more of a letdown and left me in utter confusion as to what the hell I wasted so many afternoons trying to get through. This is the part where I break down the plot beats so of you somehow wanted to read this spoilers below.
Mike Wood is the protagonist and he's your typical jock type which I initially thought was interesting because many modern fantasy novels of this kind would be expected to throw us in the shoes of some meek nerdy loner who doesn't seem to fit in with the cool kids, but not Mike. He goes to some prestigious Catholic school where everyone calls each other gay and throws the f-slur around. But you know, it's just trying to tap in to the mindset of what kind of shit talk privileged Catholic boys would say. And it's said by some annoying prick named Gilder and Mike beats him up for being an annoying prick.
Hob approaches Mike post-pummeling and makes a deal with Mike that he won't snitch on Mike if he reads this book he has. Mike agrees and begins reading He Calendar of Sleights, a book that is seemingly a guide to doing card tricks but secretly unlocks magical abilities to those inclined to it. Mike soon discovers he has a knack for magic, but most of his abilities are in making the world around him go in slo-mo so he can punch assholes really well.
Hob then invites him to his secret hideout of fellow weirdo magicians. I couldn't tell you much about these characters aside from basic surface level details. They are deliberately vague as Mike asks them questions and after several drinks he undergoes some kind of initiation. He is forced up to the top of a building under construction and made to walk a plank. Lucky for him, he is able to float back to safety instead of plummeting to his death so he passes.
He later meets Mr. Stone, the mentor character of these delinquent teenagers. He asks Mike if he's with the assholes. Who are the assholes? They're elitist magicians from Mountjoy, some kind of rival school or whatever and have snobbish views on magic such as using exclusively wands to channel their magic. Your mind might go to Wizard Nazis and the book seems to suggest something along the lines of this, but it is never explored more in detail of what kind of organization this is, what their motivations are, nothing. They're just assholes, but as we find out, so are the protagonists.
Hob decides to crash one of these Mountjoy parties because an Asshole there named Quinn has some kind of cool MacGuffin he wants. In a normal story, this might be where protagonist and antagonist exchange some kind of dialogue to give us some reason to hate these assholes other than being told they're assholes. Maybe some kind of evil plot? Or some morally twisted ideal that disturbs our heroes? Nope. They just listen to shoegaze and throw boring parties. Assholes!
Hob finds Quinn and beats him up for the MacGuffin but he is vague to his friends what it even is. This drives the Assholes to enact their revenge.
Mike goes through his school routine when a high ranking Asshole named Potash and some kind of witch lady crash in at the gym and freeze everyone but Mike and Hob. They ask for the MacGuffin but Hob refuses so they beat both of them up and Hob is kidnapped. The cast dick around for a couple of chapters until Mike finds a cigarette case in Hob's locker. He brings it to Vincent, his brother. Vincent's one character trait is that he makes these weird cigarettes for everyone else. They find something called a mappa inside, which is a magical parchment that pinpoints where a person is by saying their name. Now that they know where Hob is, action hijynx can begin! This is unfortunately around the time the plot takes a nosedive and becomes incomprehensible after a semi-coherent thread to follow thus far.
They go to the Mountjoy House and encounter Quinn again with his girlfriend (Her character trait is that she has big tits, thus is called Big Tits by Mike. We get another diatribe about what makes Mike's cock hard.) One of our protagonists, Alabama, holds them at gunpoint. Her character trait is that she has a gun. They march up to where Potash is. It turns out Hob is dead! The who and how isn't explicitly explained, but it's the Assholes so Alabama shoots Potash dead and non-fatally shoots Quinn and Big Tits. Mike and Alabama leave Vincent behind to grieve his brother. I think.
Confusion time. So instead of walking back in the direction they came from, the two climb down a tree, for some reason? I've tried rereading this part and the exact reasoning still doesn't make sense, so who knows and who cares why.
At the bottom of the tree, they find themselves in some kind of dream realm? They wander aimlessly following some river and eating some kind of weird fruit. This would be ample time to get into the heads of either of these characters, but two chapters of this book is wasted on meandering along this river until they find some kind of cave. The noise of the water keeps getting louder and then they plunge in the water and then it's a dark void and then...? I don't know. Time jumps to Mike in his bed days later. What happened? How did he get back? Where's Alabama? Who knows and who cares!
Mike goes back to playing football. They play an away game cut short by a sudden storm. The team's van has its tires slashed so Mike takes the subway home. Weird magic stuff begins to happen. He meets a man he recognizes as having done a tattoo on him. The tattoo man asks him if Hob is alive, Mike asks who Hob is. Mike gets beat up? The guy disappears? Okay? We never learn who this guy is or what he wants and this plot thread is dropped as soon as it's introduced.
Next, the hideout is destroyed and Mr. Stone is found assassinated. Those Assholes! It only took about 200 pages for something assholish to happen that wasn't in retaliation of Hob being an asshole.
Mike and Alabama waste another 20 pages meandering until they get a card from a deck in a receipt tray, so it must be a clue. Or something I guess.
They return to their basement hideout where SURPRISE! Hob is alive. Somehow. Why? How? Never explained. Or maybe it was but it was between the vague dialogue and unclear prose. This is 30 pages from the end and I just wanted to be put out of my misery. Mike punches Hob for being an asshole and he and Alabama leave him there.
Then Mike and Alabama go to her house and they have sex. Okay...no explanation but I guess at this point I know the motivations behind Mike's penis more than I know his own.
Then Mike jogs home to see two bodies in body bags being drug out on stretchers. He freaks out thinking the Assholes killed his parents. But then it turns out it was just the neighbors next door. Why? Never explained. Who? Unknown.
He goes to his room and sees the witch from the gym on his balcony. More dialogue about how he wants to smash. He flips her off. She disappears. The end to that plot point?
Then Alabama says a few days later they have to see Charthouse. Who is Charthouse? Well he was around all along but his only contribution is that he had a cane and did the same vaguespeak as the rest of the characters. He is very ill and then dies. Why? Never explained. Then Alabama is pissed off at Mike for no discernable reason and walks off.
Mike whistles and goes for a jog. The End? What was the point???
I desperately wish for my time back wasted on this. Even the shittiest of shit books I've read have had more cohesion and understandable characters than this. I could see some kind of merit in a book hat I felt wasn't written with me as the target audience in mind but WHO is this written for? Horny teen boys? They'd get bored with all the psuedo-intellectual diatribes of the milquetoast cast. Young adults? They'd get exhausted of the immaturity and stupidity of any of these characters.
I'm beyond frustrated because I wanted to try to like this book, I wanted to try and push back against the confusing narrative and unclear motivations of every character in this book to find someone or something to cling onto as being worth going through the journey. Heed the follies of my attempt and don't bother. I don't know if Munson's other works are any better than this, but it's not worth being doubly disappointed to find out.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 5, 2015
My Summary: Mike has grown up in New York City knowing that he's nothing special. Sure, he has broad shoulders and can hold his own, but that doesn't really mean much in a place where everyone is twenty different types of talented. Especially not at his school, where there are hundreds of other guys just like him - all destined to grow up to be completely mediocre.
But that's before Mike is pulled into a shady club of sorts by a fellow classmate, and everything he thought he knew is proved false. Now, with something to prove and something to aspire to, Mike finds himself realizing just how disgusted he is by the life of mediocrity he had previously resigned himself to.
He's determined to help win The War, even if he has to die trying.
My Thoughts: I had no expect when I cracked open The War Against the Assholes, but if the title was any indication, it was going to be a wild ride.
I loved the dark, gritty atmosphere of the novel - it really made you feel as if you were experiencing the shady underside of New York City. Days later, thinking about the novel summoned up visions of Mikes New York: smog and grey skies, skyscrapers and dreary streets.
I really enjoyed the Fight Club-esque vibe of the novel, and fans of the novel will definitely be able to find similarities; Mike is an everyman kind of character - a little bland, kind of difficult to connect with (for me personally) but as the story continues you see him twisted and shaped into something new and slightly terrifying.
The "ancient conflict" aspect was also really interesting. I love anything to do with historical cults or groups and this was right up my alley. It also kind of posed (and answered) the question, "what if meat-heads were given magic powers?". You'll have to check this book out for the answer!
Although the plot was really engaging, I had a little trouble (at first) getting into the choppy writing style. This was entirely due to my own preferences though - not a problem with the writing itself. Once I was a few chapters in, the writing melted away and the plot took over. I think others will definitely enjoy it as it is.
Final Thoughts: I recommend this novel to fans of adventure novels, as well as mystery and suspense. Fans of Fight Club should check it out as well!
But that's before Mike is pulled into a shady club of sorts by a fellow classmate, and everything he thought he knew is proved false. Now, with something to prove and something to aspire to, Mike finds himself realizing just how disgusted he is by the life of mediocrity he had previously resigned himself to.
He's determined to help win The War, even if he has to die trying.
My Thoughts: I had no expect when I cracked open The War Against the Assholes, but if the title was any indication, it was going to be a wild ride.
I loved the dark, gritty atmosphere of the novel - it really made you feel as if you were experiencing the shady underside of New York City. Days later, thinking about the novel summoned up visions of Mikes New York: smog and grey skies, skyscrapers and dreary streets.
I really enjoyed the Fight Club-esque vibe of the novel, and fans of the novel will definitely be able to find similarities; Mike is an everyman kind of character - a little bland, kind of difficult to connect with (for me personally) but as the story continues you see him twisted and shaped into something new and slightly terrifying.
The "ancient conflict" aspect was also really interesting. I love anything to do with historical cults or groups and this was right up my alley. It also kind of posed (and answered) the question, "what if meat-heads were given magic powers?". You'll have to check this book out for the answer!
Although the plot was really engaging, I had a little trouble (at first) getting into the choppy writing style. This was entirely due to my own preferences though - not a problem with the writing itself. Once I was a few chapters in, the writing melted away and the plot took over. I think others will definitely enjoy it as it is.
Final Thoughts: I recommend this novel to fans of adventure novels, as well as mystery and suspense. Fans of Fight Club should check it out as well!
November 29, 2017
I've had a long-held belief that many editors and publishers are afraid to admit when they don't understand something. When the form of a written work is off just enough that it appears to be done on purpose and not because the author doesn't know how to write, then it must be 'new' and 'innovative' and even though it's hard to follow and doesn't make sense, it must be publish-worthy because it's bucking a trend. Sorry. Sometimes it's just crap.
I'm really, really curious as to how this novel got published.
Okay...there's a decent idea in here. Not a particularly new one, if you've read a fair amount of science fiction/fantasy, but the idea is okay. A young man is given a book called "The Calendar of Sleights" and as he reads it he starts to develop supernatural powers. Cool.
So who are 'the assholes' in the title? Some rival magicians, according to the book. Our intrepid hero, Mike Wood, according to me.
Author Sam Munson's writing is distracting. He appears to be spending a lot of time developing or setting up a 'voice' - concentrating on the form, rather than telling us a story that is engaging or captivating. The short, clipped sentences - constantly! - made this challenging to read. A challenge is okay if it pays off, but this doesn't make the grade.
I never bought in to our central character or cared why he was the one selected for this quest. His arrogance and laissez-faire attitude was more annoying than appealing.
I so much wanted to like this book. A great title and the germ of an interesting idea but it gets lost in Munson's attempt to be creative in style.
Looking for a good book? The War Against the Assholes by Sam Munson is a fantasy novel that favors style over content and drags because of this.
I'm really, really curious as to how this novel got published.
Okay...there's a decent idea in here. Not a particularly new one, if you've read a fair amount of science fiction/fantasy, but the idea is okay. A young man is given a book called "The Calendar of Sleights" and as he reads it he starts to develop supernatural powers. Cool.
So who are 'the assholes' in the title? Some rival magicians, according to the book. Our intrepid hero, Mike Wood, according to me.
Author Sam Munson's writing is distracting. He appears to be spending a lot of time developing or setting up a 'voice' - concentrating on the form, rather than telling us a story that is engaging or captivating. The short, clipped sentences - constantly! - made this challenging to read. A challenge is okay if it pays off, but this doesn't make the grade.
I never bought in to our central character or cared why he was the one selected for this quest. His arrogance and laissez-faire attitude was more annoying than appealing.
I so much wanted to like this book. A great title and the germ of an interesting idea but it gets lost in Munson's attempt to be creative in style.
Looking for a good book? The War Against the Assholes by Sam Munson is a fantasy novel that favors style over content and drags because of this.
April 15, 2017
This was an interesting book that started off really strong and promising. The character development really drew me in, as did the syntax and plot. Each character is very independent, though only a few really become 'three dimensional'. I will definitely say that you will not be able to entirely predict the ending, however in this case I don't see that as a good thing. I'm torn between saying the book had a very clever ending, or a very poorly written one. I'm not entirely clear what the author is trying to say with the book, but it comes off as an exercise in futility, because ultimately everything is useless, or so the book seems to say. I really wished the book had ended differently, and I'm not yet sure if I should respect the author for abandoning the reader at the end.
December 28, 2019
The catchy title and purported premise ("Contemporary fantasy meets true crime when schools of ancient sorcery go up against the art of the long con in this stunningly entertaining debut fantasy novel.") reeled me in, but at the end of it all, I felt like the victim of a 280-page-long con.
High school junior (senior?) Mike plays football at a bland New York Catholic high school. One day, a weedy classmate introduces him to a book of magic tricks as the hook to bring him into his tiny clique of magic-using weirdos (one of whom is the requisite hot chick named Alabama -- possibly in homage to the character from the film True Romance?). Pretty much everything beyond this opening part is choppy and confusing.
It seems that Mike's group is in some long-standing "war" against the titular rivals, but the whys and wherefores never really get clear. Mike's group includes a Holocaust survivor, so presumably they're the goodies, but I could never work out what made the baddies bad. I think maybe the concept is a riff on Catcher in the Rye (which does get explicitly referred to), and the baddies are the phonies?
Oh yeah, and the writer made a distinctive choice in writing in super-short sentences, which didn't really add anything for me and just felt like an attempt at style for the sake of style. Throw in the perpetually horny and violence-prone protagonist, the fantasy sex-interest, the completely muddled stakes, and the abrupt ending, and this thing is a dud.
High school junior (senior?) Mike plays football at a bland New York Catholic high school. One day, a weedy classmate introduces him to a book of magic tricks as the hook to bring him into his tiny clique of magic-using weirdos (one of whom is the requisite hot chick named Alabama -- possibly in homage to the character from the film True Romance?). Pretty much everything beyond this opening part is choppy and confusing.
It seems that Mike's group is in some long-standing "war" against the titular rivals, but the whys and wherefores never really get clear. Mike's group includes a Holocaust survivor, so presumably they're the goodies, but I could never work out what made the baddies bad. I think maybe the concept is a riff on Catcher in the Rye (which does get explicitly referred to), and the baddies are the phonies?
Oh yeah, and the writer made a distinctive choice in writing in super-short sentences, which didn't really add anything for me and just felt like an attempt at style for the sake of style. Throw in the perpetually horny and violence-prone protagonist, the fantasy sex-interest, the completely muddled stakes, and the abrupt ending, and this thing is a dud.
February 24, 2022
I almost want to round up, but I just can't. I dislike so much...
For starters, sex scenes are ok... but that was awkward and kind of gross. Not to mention pointless. I really don't want to know what a teenage boy is thinking.
I couldn't take the "Assholes" seriously. I think I started this book with a bad attitude because I thought it was something different. The idea was fine. Boy recruited into supernatural war on the unseen fringes of society. The first 5 or 6 chapters are pretty good. After that, it's difficult to follow and the resolution is disappointing.
There were a lot of petty things I didn't like. The "unassuming private school" is nearly $30k/ year. Um, you do know that's an average yearly wage for most of the country, right? That read entitled. Then there was all the Catholic imagery that was butchered throughout. Not a fan of hearing "gratia plena" repeatedly in a less than reverent manner.
I was surprised to see that this was published by Simon and Schuster. I stopped halfway through to look...my guess was sloppy vanity press (not to be confused with a gem from a hardworking indie author). The fact that someone at a major publisher signed off on this gives me hope that maybe one day I'll get published. It's not an awful book, but it's more than just a case of this book wasn't for me.
For starters, sex scenes are ok... but that was awkward and kind of gross. Not to mention pointless. I really don't want to know what a teenage boy is thinking.
I couldn't take the "Assholes" seriously. I think I started this book with a bad attitude because I thought it was something different. The idea was fine. Boy recruited into supernatural war on the unseen fringes of society. The first 5 or 6 chapters are pretty good. After that, it's difficult to follow and the resolution is disappointing.
There were a lot of petty things I didn't like. The "unassuming private school" is nearly $30k/ year. Um, you do know that's an average yearly wage for most of the country, right? That read entitled. Then there was all the Catholic imagery that was butchered throughout. Not a fan of hearing "gratia plena" repeatedly in a less than reverent manner.
I was surprised to see that this was published by Simon and Schuster. I stopped halfway through to look...my guess was sloppy vanity press (not to be confused with a gem from a hardworking indie author). The fact that someone at a major publisher signed off on this gives me hope that maybe one day I'll get published. It's not an awful book, but it's more than just a case of this book wasn't for me.
June 28, 2017
So, I didn't make a book review for this as soon as I finished it, mainly because I couldn't put my thoughts into words, and also because I was quite relieved to have finally finished. The War Against the Assholes started out well, I loved the idea of the underground magic card trick society/war thing, and Sam Munson's choppy writing style was something I hadn't read before, and it gave a good insight into Mike's personality. However, on the topic of Mike, at times he was a bit too real for me. This is probably because of the fact I'm a 13-year-old girl, and I tend to not relate well to horny teenage boys. As well as this, Munson's writing style caused me to lose the plot at times, and once I reached the 200-page mark I was ready for this book to be over. It became very disjointed moving between chapters, and it didn't help that I couldn't bring myself to sit down and power through this book. As other people who reviewed this book said, I wanted to like it more than I actually did, and it was a pretty disappointing read for me. I can totally see how others would enjoy this book, so I recommend giving it a go but don't feel bad if you can't finish it. 2.5/5 stars from me.
April 30, 2018
Some books are magical, sweeping the reader into a fantastic universe of their own making.
At the other end of the scale is Sam Munson's The War Against the Assholes. Like Uprooted, it's the story of a teen thrust into the midst of a magical conflict; unlike Novik, Munson's writing style is, er, an acquired taste. A teenage boy, Mike Wood, is picked by a secret society of magicians to fight the good fight against the IlluminatiAssholes (you know, the cabal the orchestrates world events).
I ran out of patience with it about halfway through the book--seriously, does Munson's religion forbid paragraph breaks or something? Why present entire conversations in one text-dense page after another? Toss in his habit of never using a question mark and flipping back and forth between flashbacks and the present day without a break and it starts to look like someone dropped a manuscript and piled the pages together without looking at the page numbers (or, indeed, knowing what a "book" was). Reading should be enjoyable, not an IQ test.
At the other end of the scale is Sam Munson's The War Against the Assholes. Like Uprooted, it's the story of a teen thrust into the midst of a magical conflict; unlike Novik, Munson's writing style is, er, an acquired taste. A teenage boy, Mike Wood, is picked by a secret society of magicians to fight the good fight against the IlluminatiAssholes (you know, the cabal the orchestrates world events).
I ran out of patience with it about halfway through the book--seriously, does Munson's religion forbid paragraph breaks or something? Why present entire conversations in one text-dense page after another? Toss in his habit of never using a question mark and flipping back and forth between flashbacks and the present day without a break and it starts to look like someone dropped a manuscript and piled the pages together without looking at the page numbers (or, indeed, knowing what a "book" was). Reading should be enjoyable, not an IQ test.
March 27, 2017
I hate putting books on the DNF shelf, because if I dislike something I like to be able to give it a chance for redemption because there are books that improve towards the end, or I want to be able to pinpoint what it is that I'm disliking about it, but for this book I had the same response as most of the others who have given it low star reviews.
I was intrigued by the premise, and the title, but there was nothing in the characters for me to be anything but apathetic about them and the sentence structure is so choppy that there is no flow. The formatting also bothered me, because the combination of choppy, detached sentences and run on dialogue meant that there was no distinct voice and no division of voice so I couldn't separate the characters without rereading sentences.
I was intrigued by the premise, and the title, but there was nothing in the characters for me to be anything but apathetic about them and the sentence structure is so choppy that there is no flow. The formatting also bothered me, because the combination of choppy, detached sentences and run on dialogue meant that there was no distinct voice and no division of voice so I couldn't separate the characters without rereading sentences.
November 4, 2016
DNF'ed about a 100 pages in.
This is basically The Catcher in the Rye with magic and a writing style I do not appreciate - I was particularly frustrated with the dialogue. I hated Catcher in the Rye, so me not liking this one makes sense.
The main character was almost as annoying as Holden (quite a feat in itself) and 'asshole' turns out to be a lame nickname for the opponents rather than a clever spin on something.
I was so excited going into this, but man.. I just can't go through with it. I'm Sorry.
This is basically The Catcher in the Rye with magic and a writing style I do not appreciate - I was particularly frustrated with the dialogue. I hated Catcher in the Rye, so me not liking this one makes sense.
The main character was almost as annoying as Holden (quite a feat in itself) and 'asshole' turns out to be a lame nickname for the opponents rather than a clever spin on something.
I was so excited going into this, but man.. I just can't go through with it. I'm Sorry.
October 5, 2020
An extreme exercise in patience and ability to focus through terrible writing style. Poorly realized characters and poorly executed plot, with poor ability to write beyond simple sentence fragments. Don’t pick this one up.
October 12, 2024
This is a story of a war of magicians against other magicians. It is unusual as the story begins with regular young people dealing with peers. As they get to know each other, it becomes unusual as they discover they are fighting a war.
October 16, 2020
I read it because I loved the title. More than 2 years later, I don't remember anything about it.
August 30, 2022
"'at's roight, 'arry, yer a STAGE MAGICIAN!"
"Oh. I think I'll just go back to living under the stairs."
"Oh. I think I'll just go back to living under the stairs."
February 27, 2023
I found the author's depiction of conversations confusing, often requiring rereading with little reward. Parts of the story were interesting, but overall rather unsatisfying.
November 9, 2023
Overall, a bit of a disjointed read. It's an interesting story, but I think I need a second pass to really grok it all. And I don't know if I care enough about any of the characters to do that.
October 27, 2016
This book was hard to read. The conversations were laid out in a weird way.
April 16, 2017
It almost seems like Sam Munson and Lev Grossman had a similar story to tell, and this probably should have been a decent book.
The details are both pretentious and graphic in a TMI gross-dude-stuff kind of way.
But this book is more aimless and the world building is less defined. Honestly, it almost seems like the first-person narration would make for an easier read than The Magicians was. Not so, apparently. Because the author failed to pull the protagonist into a plotline soon enough, the lull lasted for the entire book. I'm sure the point was that those in power failed to live up to their promises and ideals, but the narrative structure was a mess.
The details are both pretentious and graphic in a TMI gross-dude-stuff kind of way.
But this book is more aimless and the world building is less defined. Honestly, it almost seems like the first-person narration would make for an easier read than The Magicians was. Not so, apparently. Because the author failed to pull the protagonist into a plotline soon enough, the lull lasted for the entire book. I'm sure the point was that those in power failed to live up to their promises and ideals, but the narrative structure was a mess.
March 23, 2017
The Magicians meets The Yiddish Policeman's Union, but less than either.
August 22, 2016
This book was a bit of a mixed bag for me and I've been a little bit hesitant to write this review! The synopsis intrigued me because it sounded original and it sounded fun and I was excited to get started on it, but as I started to read...the book wasn't at all what I was expecting, which was both good and bad!
The magic of the book was really interesting, you have Sorcerers who have schools and stuff who are the bad guys and our guys use card tricks and magic tricks to fight, which I thought was brilliant and would love to have seen more of! I'd love to know what they did to warrant asshole status and start this whole war off! At one point I was kind of reminded of Dave Franco's character in Now You See Me when he throws his cards about and they cut things and stuff. The cast of characters was interesting, I liked Alabama the most, I think, and I was so curious about her, I'd have loved to have gotten to know her better! Mike was what I imagine to be a typical teenage boy, you kind of had to laugh at points! He was very realistic, but hard to relate to for me, or actually like at some points. I didn't get some of what he did at all. It must be a boy thing?
The setting for the book was gritty, a dank, grey, gritty side of New York, and the book itself was quite gritty, along with being humorous at points. The book blends fantasy and reality in an interesting way, and the writing style for some reason reminded me a little bit of A Clockwork Orange? But I think that's just me, because I don't think anyone else has said that! I think it's the sentence structure that did it, although these guys do have some of their own slang words but not to the extent of CO. It just reminded me of it as soon as I started to read! The whole secret underground war they had going on reminded me of Fight Club as well! This book reminded me of a lot of things actually!
I loved how the different slights from the book Hob gave to Mike ran throughout the book, it was a thread weaving all the way through and I enjoyed that part rather a lot. It even tells you how to do them but I am far too clumsy to try to do it! I'd be the worlds worst magician, that's for sure. The book was fairly complex for a short book, a lot happens and goes on in the book and I thought the pacing was good.
Now the reason I was hesitant to review this was because I'd wanted to like this book so much more than I actually did, and I was worried I was the only person who had struggled with this book because I'm too thick to get it or something, but other readers have also had the same problems so it's all good!
The book is very much straight to the point and concise, and I've not read anything quite like it before, which is good. It shows you rather than tells you and I think that worked quite well at certain points in the book, but at other points it didn't. You have to figure things out for yourself as you read and that did leave me a little bit confused at some points, not entirely sure what had just happened and so on. There wasn't much description going on which let the imagination run wild but again...more description would have been useful at some points in the book.
I think the turning point for me was after Mike's weird amnesia bit, the whole bit before was really trippy but kind of cool, but after that with the amnesia I was confused for a few seconds and then I got it, but from that point on things got a bit blurry for me. I didn't have a clear idea of characters motivations and their reasons for their actions, and at some points I actually had no idea what had just gone on, and when I finished the book I felt like I'd missed something at some point. Which was disappointing and it took me longer to read the book than it should have. I mean it was kind of hard to get in to because I was getting used to the writing style, but I was excited to get to the magic and see what it was all about and then I was reading it no problem, but like the last 100 pages or more, I think, took me longer to read because a lot of the time I was very confused.
The War Against The Assholes has its good points, and it has its bad points, but it's definitely original it has to be said, and I feel like the world could be explored more from where things where left off, but I'm not certain there is going to be a sequel! It was definitely an interesting read!
The magic of the book was really interesting, you have Sorcerers who have schools and stuff who are the bad guys and our guys use card tricks and magic tricks to fight, which I thought was brilliant and would love to have seen more of! I'd love to know what they did to warrant asshole status and start this whole war off! At one point I was kind of reminded of Dave Franco's character in Now You See Me when he throws his cards about and they cut things and stuff. The cast of characters was interesting, I liked Alabama the most, I think, and I was so curious about her, I'd have loved to have gotten to know her better! Mike was what I imagine to be a typical teenage boy, you kind of had to laugh at points! He was very realistic, but hard to relate to for me, or actually like at some points. I didn't get some of what he did at all. It must be a boy thing?
The setting for the book was gritty, a dank, grey, gritty side of New York, and the book itself was quite gritty, along with being humorous at points. The book blends fantasy and reality in an interesting way, and the writing style for some reason reminded me a little bit of A Clockwork Orange? But I think that's just me, because I don't think anyone else has said that! I think it's the sentence structure that did it, although these guys do have some of their own slang words but not to the extent of CO. It just reminded me of it as soon as I started to read! The whole secret underground war they had going on reminded me of Fight Club as well! This book reminded me of a lot of things actually!
I loved how the different slights from the book Hob gave to Mike ran throughout the book, it was a thread weaving all the way through and I enjoyed that part rather a lot. It even tells you how to do them but I am far too clumsy to try to do it! I'd be the worlds worst magician, that's for sure. The book was fairly complex for a short book, a lot happens and goes on in the book and I thought the pacing was good.
Now the reason I was hesitant to review this was because I'd wanted to like this book so much more than I actually did, and I was worried I was the only person who had struggled with this book because I'm too thick to get it or something, but other readers have also had the same problems so it's all good!
The book is very much straight to the point and concise, and I've not read anything quite like it before, which is good. It shows you rather than tells you and I think that worked quite well at certain points in the book, but at other points it didn't. You have to figure things out for yourself as you read and that did leave me a little bit confused at some points, not entirely sure what had just happened and so on. There wasn't much description going on which let the imagination run wild but again...more description would have been useful at some points in the book.
I think the turning point for me was after Mike's weird amnesia bit, the whole bit before was really trippy but kind of cool, but after that with the amnesia I was confused for a few seconds and then I got it, but from that point on things got a bit blurry for me. I didn't have a clear idea of characters motivations and their reasons for their actions, and at some points I actually had no idea what had just gone on, and when I finished the book I felt like I'd missed something at some point. Which was disappointing and it took me longer to read the book than it should have. I mean it was kind of hard to get in to because I was getting used to the writing style, but I was excited to get to the magic and see what it was all about and then I was reading it no problem, but like the last 100 pages or more, I think, took me longer to read because a lot of the time I was very confused.
The War Against The Assholes has its good points, and it has its bad points, but it's definitely original it has to be said, and I feel like the world could be explored more from where things where left off, but I'm not certain there is going to be a sequel! It was definitely an interesting read!
January 22, 2018
Okay, so I picked up this book and expected a fairly new, and original idea. This book however carries on with the ‘fight back against the evil!’ trope, and I grew tired of this fairly quickly. I don’t ever really put down a book, because all books deserve a chance to prove themselves, but this was painful to finish. The writing style just confuses and is unnecessary to the story, I think I may have actually been able to enjoy it if it was written in a more traditional way.
August 4, 2023
I really really wanted to like the book. But I just cant. You feel like there is a spark of madness in there that could become genius. It just doesnt. It becomes a mediocre sex dream without logic.
The main problems i had are as followed:
Insults: the main insult in the book is flipping someone off and/or calling them a faggot. The answer to that? No, you are the faggot. Childish and uncreative. And just annoying after the second time.
The Plot: The "assholes" never really get explained or have a motive or do something that seems bad. But they might be Nazis, or Hitler was one of them. Maybe. Sometimes i though the group around the main protagonist where the assholes. Would probably make more sense. The story feels as if there was a second or third book planed, scratched before part one was ready and some good parts put in book one. Nothing makes real sense. To me at least. People who you don't know enough die, so you don't care. And the war? Feels more like 6 people against the whole world? Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
The Protagonist: He always talks about how dumb he is and which words he doesn't now but than knows words in the same weighting. Plus he sometimes talks like he is telling the story from the future and didn't now this or that back than. And what is more dramatic than seeing a friend of you dead and people killed? When your ballgame gets called early because of a thunderstorm (granted he had amnesia at this part, but his reaction was much more severe for that than the dead people).
The female characters:
Give the main character a permanent boner, in every situation. Even after seeing someones brains blown out the hot evil witch could be near, so boner time it is. And don't forget "big tits". Who's whole personality is having big tits and an likewise impressive butt. The protagonist wants to see them all naked and fuck them. Even Alabama feels just like someone who is there so he can think about kissing her and how she would be naked. She takes his virginity, but who needs condoms if you can just say you shoot him if he gives you something.
All in all it feels more like a school project of a horny teenager. There is potential there, the world building is great, even if confusing. The magic system and the difference of the ones who use and the ones who don't use wands seem interesting. But it all just falls flat with childish insults, unlogical dialogue and the permanent feeling of missing a part of the story. Or several.
2/5
Maybe i am an asshole.
The main problems i had are as followed:
Insults: the main insult in the book is flipping someone off and/or calling them a faggot. The answer to that? No, you are the faggot. Childish and uncreative. And just annoying after the second time.
The Plot: The "assholes" never really get explained or have a motive or do something that seems bad. But they might be Nazis, or Hitler was one of them. Maybe. Sometimes i though the group around the main protagonist where the assholes. Would probably make more sense. The story feels as if there was a second or third book planed, scratched before part one was ready and some good parts put in book one. Nothing makes real sense. To me at least. People who you don't know enough die, so you don't care. And the war? Feels more like 6 people against the whole world? Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
The Protagonist: He always talks about how dumb he is and which words he doesn't now but than knows words in the same weighting. Plus he sometimes talks like he is telling the story from the future and didn't now this or that back than. And what is more dramatic than seeing a friend of you dead and people killed? When your ballgame gets called early because of a thunderstorm (granted he had amnesia at this part, but his reaction was much more severe for that than the dead people).
The female characters:
Give the main character a permanent boner, in every situation. Even after seeing someones brains blown out the hot evil witch could be near, so boner time it is. And don't forget "big tits". Who's whole personality is having big tits and an likewise impressive butt. The protagonist wants to see them all naked and fuck them. Even Alabama feels just like someone who is there so he can think about kissing her and how she would be naked. She takes his virginity, but who needs condoms if you can just say you shoot him if he gives you something.
All in all it feels more like a school project of a horny teenager. There is potential there, the world building is great, even if confusing. The magic system and the difference of the ones who use and the ones who don't use wands seem interesting. But it all just falls flat with childish insults, unlogical dialogue and the permanent feeling of missing a part of the story. Or several.
2/5
Maybe i am an asshole.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 3, 2015
"The War Against the Assholes" is an urban fantasy story set primarily in New York City. It is a book about class war amongst magicians. The quality of the prose is high; the writing is stylistically and structurally odd. The author tells the story from a first person perspective. And he writes. In this style. Breaking sentences. Into sentence fragments. He uses: colons. Abruptly.
Okay, I'll stop doing that. Actually, I liked this quirky approach. I thought it was a brilliant way to capture the main character's disjointed thinking; however, conventional readers may find this distracting—but if they can adapt, they will be rewarded with a unique voice that tells its owner's tale with authentic dark realism.
The author displays a great vocabulary, and he makes use of this to employ another offbeat technique: the main protagonist uses esoteric words and then talks to the reader in order to explain how he knows these rarefied words. This is a sly method for giving us more insight into the character's personality.
The dialogue between the characters is also structured unusually, in frequent rapid fire exchanges that volley back and forth, and which are often cryptic, often clever. Character development is extensive, and everyone is morally ambiguous—no black and white hats, just gray ones on cloudy heads. They are colorful but hueless. I find such unappealing characters appealing.
Where the book fails is in its plot. It opens as a fascinating story, and has at least one major plot twist, but it begins meandering in its later stages and like a trick of legerdemain, the plot disappears before it ends. There is no misdirection, just missed direction. Metaphorically, this is bad sleight of hand. It’s a shame, because the author clearly has writing skills. But, unless you’re Andy Kaufman, you can’t start an act full of weird patter and then walk off the stage mid-performance with the audience left sitting there wondering what’s happening, and expect to get applause. Of course, there are writers who like booze :) . However, I would have preferred that the author had set a higher bar.
There better be a sequel. I will buy it for the prose—although the editing will probably need pros as well.
Okay, I'll stop doing that. Actually, I liked this quirky approach. I thought it was a brilliant way to capture the main character's disjointed thinking; however, conventional readers may find this distracting—but if they can adapt, they will be rewarded with a unique voice that tells its owner's tale with authentic dark realism.
The author displays a great vocabulary, and he makes use of this to employ another offbeat technique: the main protagonist uses esoteric words and then talks to the reader in order to explain how he knows these rarefied words. This is a sly method for giving us more insight into the character's personality.
The dialogue between the characters is also structured unusually, in frequent rapid fire exchanges that volley back and forth, and which are often cryptic, often clever. Character development is extensive, and everyone is morally ambiguous—no black and white hats, just gray ones on cloudy heads. They are colorful but hueless. I find such unappealing characters appealing.
Where the book fails is in its plot. It opens as a fascinating story, and has at least one major plot twist, but it begins meandering in its later stages and like a trick of legerdemain, the plot disappears before it ends. There is no misdirection, just missed direction. Metaphorically, this is bad sleight of hand. It’s a shame, because the author clearly has writing skills. But, unless you’re Andy Kaufman, you can’t start an act full of weird patter and then walk off the stage mid-performance with the audience left sitting there wondering what’s happening, and expect to get applause. Of course, there are writers who like booze :) . However, I would have preferred that the author had set a higher bar.
There better be a sequel. I will buy it for the prose—although the editing will probably need pros as well.
July 14, 2015
Though the title hints that this might be a tool to use when conversing with members of opposing political factions at barbecues, it’s actually an imaginative, choppily constructed fantasy/mystery that begins in a Manhattan private school. First-person narrator Mike Wood is a senior at St. Cyprian’s. Blunt enough to admit that he’s sort of a goon, Mike is also wise enough to acknowledge the rarefied world in which he lives: “my grades had never risen out of their initial mediocrity. For which my parents had to pay. Twenty-nine thousand four hundred dollars, that year.” Not long after Mikel beats the living shit out of a rival, the school’s mysterious outsider, Hob, gives Mike his copy of a well-thumbed, generic-looking book (“…small green book. Gold letters on the spine”) titled The Calendar of Sleights. It turns out that the book, superficially about card tricks, is less the mechanics of deception and more a kind of Sun Tzu-for-magic with sentences such as, “You shall learn the unconquerable desire of the low to rise.” After deepening the unlikely friendship with Hob and a new gang, Mike develops special traits (e.g., he can fly—or at least not fall, at first). Hob & Co. draw Mike into a centuries-old conflict between rival mages who use massive willpower and Byzantine tricks to win battles that take place in hidden locales all over NYC. Munson (The November Criminals) at times nails being young and not quite understanding how to control all the testosterone: “My healthy blood continued to pound stupidly through my veins. You’ll never recapture that headlong speed.” VERDICT YA crossover that actually fits the category. Readers willing to invest in a story that always feels a little askew will enjoy.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.
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