The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother

by Heng Ou, Amely Greeven, Marisa Belger

After labor, it’s time for A gentle guide to zuo yuezi, the ancient Chinese practice of postpartum self-care, including sixty simple recipes.The first forty days after the birth of a child offer an essential and fleeting period of rest and recovery for the new mother. Based on Heng Ou’s own postpartum experience with zuo yuezi, a set period of “confinement” in which a woman remains at home focusing on healing and bonding with her baby, The First Forty Days revives the lost art of caring for the mother after birth. As modern mothers are pushed to prematurely “bounce back” after deliver­ing their babies, and are often left alone to face the physical and emotional challenges of this new stage of their lives, the first forty days provide a lifeline—a source of connection, nourishment, and guidance. This book includes sixty simple recipes for healing soups, replenishing meals and snacks, and calming and lactation-boosting teas, all formulated to support the unique needs of the new mother. In addition to recipes, this warm and encouraging guide offers advice on arranging a system of help during the post­partum period, navigating relationship challenges, and honoring the significance of pregnancy and birth. Fully illustrated, it is a practical guide and inspirational read for all new mothers and mothers-to-be—the perfect ally during the first weeks with a new baby.“Bringing our attention back to the importance of the postpartum period for new mothers helps to create space for this essential period of integration and recovery . . . an invaluable companion during the first 40 days and beyond.” —Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein, filmmakers, The Business of Being Born

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Cookbooks, Health, Cooking, Food, Childrens

424 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 26, 2016

Reviews

[Kyra · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Good: Gentle permission for mothers to rest, care for themselves, and bond with their newborns. Between the US's shameful lack of maternity leave and societal pressure for women to put others' comfort above their own needs, this message is easy to forget. Even a simple reminder that you don't have to host anyone you don't want to is powerful. I personally needed this enough to justify the second star.

The Bad: Pervasive, subtle sexism. I classify this into three strains:

Partner/co-parent: Assumed to be a recipient of caretaking, not a provider. The mother is alone "on the front lines," the partner is assumed to go back to work within a week, and later in the text some jabs sneak in about "hungry menfolk" and "a partner who likely feels neglected, and a demanding little person who won’t stop screaming until he gets what he wants (the baby, not the partner—hopefully)." While the image of a supportive village of elder women is romantic and appealing (see Nostalgia below), most children live in two-parent families. If a household is privileged enough to be able to adapt and adopt six weeks of rest for the mother, surely there could be some room for the baby's other parent to be present?

Unscientific purity culture: Beyond the traditional alternative "medicine" suggestions (Eat your placenta! No cold water!), the book makes dangerous (or at least judgy) assertions about all manner of things, from tofu harming women's hormones to EMFs from cell phones endangering babies' heads to non-organic grains causing autism to unpasteurized milk as "the most healing option" (y'know, unless you get a foodborne illness from it...) and so on. The requirement (even couched in a condescending "do the best you can!") that women spend time, money, and energy keeping themselves and their families "pure" is an expensive distraction from real science and real needs.
A minor but related example is the warning that "Lack of sleep isn’t a joke. It can lead to illness, cognitive impairment, depression, and cravings for unhealthy snacks," as though eating some chips is right up there with the breakdown of your mental health.

Nostalgia for a fictional past: It's egregiously ahistorical to pretend that ALL new mothers had gentle, supported rest back in the "good old days." Six weeks of relative leisure, with meals and other children taken care of, has been and is still a luxury for the wealthy. And while the book passingly acknowledges that few women would choose their mother-in-law's constant supervision today, the given interpretations of traditional restrictions soften the historical reality. Even a rich woman was her husband's [family's] property, valued primarily for her fertility. The idea of the mother as "the epicenter of your family, the hub of the wheel" sounds empowering, but, in truth, the center is hemmed-in on all sides and not free to move.

Nits:
The table of contents should be more detailed than just the chapter level. There's not even a quick way to navigate to the different recipe sections.
The ginger fried rice recipe calls for "1 slice of fresh ginger," with no further details for the amount.

I haven't made any of the recipes, so can't speak to their quality, though I may take inspiration from the general ideas (e.g. ginger, rice, soups).

This is the first eBook I've borrowed from the Brooklyn Public Library! Libraries are the best.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful book on nourishing new mothers. It's directed to the new mom, but I feel it's a better read for a doula, partner, friend, grandmother etc. The expectations of mothers, especially new ones, are so unrealistic. I appreciate this books approach of slowing down and encouraging the village approach to caring for each other.

[cheryl best · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has good advice for nurturing and protecting a new mother. I did not follow it as gospel when supporting my daughter and her newborn and husband, but I got some good guidance from it. The general message of the book is warm and loving and provides lots of reminders about how important these early days are for the forming or transforming of a family unit. It was also very validating in my desire to protect them from the onslaught of overzealous visitors, and helped me in reminding my daughter to be patient and kind with herself as she experienced the biggest change in her life. The recipes, a handful of which we used, were interesting and delicious. Some of those we did adopt have become staples in both of our homes.

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked up this book as the singular recommendation of a friend.

It... was always going to be way too hippie for me. Not the Eastern traditions part, which I don't have a connection to but don't begrudge, but rather the attitudes towards motherhood & pregnancy & men expressed within. Just the description of a mother way ceremony, or whatever it's called, had me full on cringing in horror.

I think most of the statements of fact in this book are not supported by scientific study, and some are actively contradicted by good science. This has a lot of only buy organic, don't use your phone around your baby because of the harmful rays, use homeopathic remedies, get trace nutrients from Himalayan pink salt, etc stuff that I'm not buying. Which kind of throws a wrench in trusting any of the recommendations that the author could possibly give about purported health benefits of anything, so I am not taking anything in this book as actual advice but rather read it as a list of suggestions that worked well for the author and some other women, and to take whatever parts I happen to think would work well for me.

There is a CONSTANT refrain here about eating nothing cold/raw/crunchy and not going outside or being exposed to the wind for 6 weeks. My baby is due in October. Kale salad, ice cream, and being out among the trees in fall are all key ingredients to my mental health. If the author thinks they will make me weak for 40 years to come, I'm still planning to take my chances.

So there's a lot here that I immediately discarded as not for me. What WAS for me? Well, this is a very gentle book. It's gentle about the process of becoming a mother, being kind to yourself, leaving space for yourself and your partner (though it was also often rather dismissive of men) and your baby, bundling yourself in a nest and listening to your body and eating nourishing foods and letting other people help you. I like all of that and it was a calming read. While I don't plan to obsessively sip as much broth as she does (she drinks fish broth instead of coffee in the morning, folks), I did photograph a handful of recipes that sounded like they were to my tastes and would be soothing, nourishing, and rejuvenating just as any good bowl of chicken soup is a balm when home sick.

So I think this is a sweet book, a bit patronizing, way more woo-woo than I am, should NOT be taken as actual scientifically-backed medical advice, but with soft edges and a few things that are helpful to read or make note of or try.

I'd recommend it with deep caveats to certain people and I'm ultimately glad it was recommended to me (and that I got it from the library).

[Allyson Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of good stuff in here about caring for the postpartum mom with nutrition, care, love, and respect. I really appreciated Heng's tips about helping the body replenish itself after the major changes it undergoes in childbirth and the emphasis she puts on making sure mom is healthy so that baby will be healthy. Her recipes and care-giving tips are very solid and helpful! However, the book comes from a very mystic/pagan/New Age/universalism/pantheism perspective, so there is quite a bit of spiritual advice in it that I would not agree with. But the Lord is faithful to reveal certain truths about creation through natural revelation and Heng picked up on a lot of that in her book. This is definitely something to read with discernment, keeping in mind the worldview that it is written from.

[Shannon Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Half advice for the postpartum period, half cookbook—I really liked this one, even though I won't follow everything that was inside. It makes the case for 40 days of rest after giving birth, asking for help, and being gentle with yourself, and then includes quite a lot of recipes to aid in that time period, many of which can be frozen ahead of time. It made me a little sad that there is not as much access to community in the modern world as is described in the book, and the language overall is a little heteronormative, but I'm excited to use some of the recipes in my own upcoming fourth trimester.

[Amy Hansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best of the postpartum books I’ve read, probably because the scope is limited. Still has pagan undertones, but not as extreme.

[Samantha Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Heng Ou says it, ima do it 🫡 nesting is in full force rn and I can’t wait to stock my freezer with all the nourishing goodness this book has inspired.

[Meghan Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was incredibly helpful to me in many ways. I started reading it in the last weeks of my pregnancy & finished it after the birth of my daughter. While it looks like just a recipe book, it’s also filled with great advice for handling visitors, navigating huge hormonal shifts & prioritizing your health. The recipes in this are all designed to aid in your postpartum healing & harness your “chi.” The method this book encourages stems from Chinese medicine & ancient “confinement” practices of “lying in” with baby. Many cultures around the world encourage new mothers to do this for 30 to up to 60 days in some places, but this model is 40 days. During this time, you are exclusively resting at home with your baby while your “village” takes care of you (i.e. bringing you food & drink, doing all the chores & allowing you time to bond with your child). That is… If you have a village! Many people do not. I was lucky to have my mom staying nearby postpartum to help out & my partner fulfills all my needs, but I’m aware this is a luxury. The premise of the book, though, is that it shouldn’t be! All new parents should have support! I appreciated that being encouraged & the tips she gave on showing up for parents in your community even if you don’t know them that well. We all need that! This all being said, this book is really best when you read it under the framework of taking what you need & leaving the rest. While I agreed with most of what she covered, she also shared a handful of opinions I didn’t appreciate (saying EMF’s from your phone will harm your baby’s brain, eating tofu will negatively affect your hormones & making other health claims that were clearly opinion-based not science-based). When I started this method, I was more dogmatic about following it which I really don’t recommend. Parenthood= adapting day by day. Do what YOU need. For example, by day 20 of following this structure, I was ready to leave the house with baby & knew I should honor that if my body felt ready & more healed. I also didn’t follow the “no cold drinks or food” advice since I gave birth in the heat of summer. I blast AC in our room & invite in the chill which is the opposite of what she suggests! Oh well! I don’t enjoy room temp smoothies & I love eating cold leftovers! At the same time, I also loved eating all the warm soups & drinking the hot broths in this book. The pancake recipe is INCREDIBLE & I prepped a ton of food from this in my last few days of pregnancy which I really appreciated postpartum. I definitely enjoyed most of this method & will follow it with my reigns loosened next time for the sake of my mental health! If you choose to read it, choose what to apply to your life & healing journey ❤️‍🩹

[Abigail Burdett · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on honoring motherhood I’ve come across. I wish I could rate it 10 stars and give a copy to every mom-to-be I know.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reads like a warm bowl of soup. The author weaves a compelling guide to a nurturing, healing, and restful model of postpartum recovery that is a beautiful antidote to the “bounce back” emphasis of Western culture. Her philosophy seems to be based on a combination of Eastern medicine, cultural traditions from around the world, and some aspects of modern wellness and natural living cultures. My biggest fault with the book is that while much of the health advice seems wise and sensible and based on centuries of practice, some seems questionable at best and harmful at worst (her praise of raw milk comes to mind). However, as long as it’s taken with a grain of salt, I think this book is an excellent and sorely needed introduction to a much more wholesome view of life after a baby. Plus, the recipes look delicious!

[Caroline Weiss · Rating 3 out of 5]

I changed my review to 3 stars instead of 4 because it contains some Eastern/Chinese medicine and superstition that is demonic. Stuff like this: 🧘‍♀️☯️🧿It’s not pushed on you, only referenced as the culture the author came from. Still didn’t want to give the message that I supported that. GREAT recipe book for doulas and moms wanting to have a better postpartum. Depending on where you buy these ethnic/rare ingredients, maybe season your dish with some blessed salt though? 😂;)
One thing I appreciated is that though she puts up the front of being inclusive and says that she will be using the word “partner” to be inclusive to “all family types”, her language makes it clear that she’s picturing a woman as a mother and man as a father. I think it’s cool that no matter how “woke” or “inclusive” we try to be, we innately know that the nuclear family is right.

[Mariclare Forsyth · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. Really important reminder of the importance of care for the mother in the first 40 days postpartum, with an emphasis on food, rest, and warmth. I appreciated the nutrition aspect of it especially, as I have been fed food in hospitals post c section that my body was in no way ready for, and I remember feeling unnourished and in pain. I will try out a lot of recipes from the book, and it has helped me figure out how to plan for postpartum nutrition in a simple, nourishing way. Cons: the book is very repetitive and makes lots of unsubstantiated medical claims. I'm also guessing that the emphasis on warm foods and drinks, while it makes sense to me, will be not what my body wants in August in California.

[Maggie Bowman · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I did enjoy this book, but I also had many expectations of this book, which probably impacted my reading of it.

Let me tell you what it is not:
1) A week by week guide to the postpartum transition, with explanation of that is happening physiologically.
2)A cookbook, at least not primarily.

The recipes so far have been fantastic, the pictures are beautiful, and I think the underlying wisdom of how to care for the new mother is sound. Just be prepared for A LOT of flowery prose. A lot. Many statements, few citations. I will be using this book for years to come, purely for the recipes...but I don't know if I would be recommending it for reading!

[Annie Bruza · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was woefully unprepared for the postpartum recovery period with my first-born. I remember being told that labor was hard, but once I was given the baby, I would forget all about the pain. I assumed that meant that the physical work would over and, while I knew I would be tired and would need to learn how to breastfeed (but that was a natural process anyway, so how hard could it be?), it would all get easier after giving birth. I was wrong.


I am glad there is a book telling new mothers that they need to rest, especially in a world that encourages moms to "bounce back." I like that her recipes start with the staples like broth that can be used and built on in her other recipes. I think that the cookbook section is practically organized and not overwhelming for a pregnant mom or postpartum family to follow. She honors her Chinese heritage with many of the recipes and, though she tries to make them more accessible to those outside these circles, there are still some ingredients that would be difficult to gather. Along with this, there is some pagan influence to be weeded through which permeates the book and some of the recipes.


It is good to encourage mothers to slow down and let other people take care of her while she recovers from birth and learns to take care of her baby. This book is filling a real void.

[Leslie Sawyer White · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The First Forty Days" is devoted to reminding the western mother to nurture herself, rest, and bond with her new baby during postpartum rather than to lean into the temptation to form into the cultural expectations of accomplishment and busyness. For someone who struggles with finding their identity in the things that they do, I am thankful that this book pushed me to prioritize rest as I enter this upcoming season.

[Steph Sza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book that honors the ignored fourth trimester/postpartum period. It will be difficult to implement many of these practices as a modern American who has no family or “village” nearby and will return to work soon after, but I will be taking a modified version with a lot of what I learned (recipes, sentiment, and perspective) with me into the new challenge of being a mother. Loved it and recommend to all mothers to be!

[Erin McCool · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved some of the ideas in here about the importance of rest and support from your community!! And is so interesting to learn about how different cultures value motherhood so differently. I genuinely had not heard of like half of the ingredients in the recipes though😂

[Rajean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gentle, nourishing guide for postpartum recovery!! The First 40 Days blends practical advice with heartfelt wisdom. It beautifully emphasizes the importance of rest, support, and healing during the “fourth trimester,” while offering comforting recipes and traditions. A must-read for new mothers or anyone supporting them. :)

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

2024: Hmm, honestly worse than I remembered. :p I think the recipes could be helpful and the overall gist emphasizing rest and nutrition is good; I have thought of this book quite a few times in the past four years. It’s harder for me to rest, I think, so “trying harder” (ha) to do that might be good.

But, the new agey humanistic stuff was really obnoxious and I wouldn’t recommend for that reason… not sure I want to keep the book around for that reason as well. Might just mark down some basic recipes and get rid of it? :p

2020: I enjoyed the last part more: on food prep, nutrition, recipes. The first part just seemed over the top. I understand it was making the basis for rest, but these way it came across is more likely to make me ignore the advice. (Okay, maybe not, but it probably won't change much.) I don't see rest as my glorious right :p and I can't imagine very many people who will have a tribe of women doting on them after birth. Maybe 1. Or 2. If your mom is available. But expecting others to care for you hand and foot seems a bit pretentious, even though I do agree with the need of asking for help when needed. I could go on, but :p

Anyway, the nutritional parts were more interesting, and I probably will save and try some of the recipes and purchase a few recommended ingredients, as well as make more bone broth to store. However, planning to give birth in June, I find it hard to imagine I'll be craving soups and room temperature smoothies that she suggests. :p I don't believe in chi, heh, so I think I'll enjoy my cold smoothies, please. Thanks.

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a gift from a fellow new mom and I think I will pay it forward and include it in baby shower gifts too. I am perhaps a bit biased because it's pretty rooted in Chinese cultural traditions and beliefs around postpartum recovery, so it feels familiar and credible to me, but it's got enough west coast-influence modernizing touches to be accessible to non-Asian-Americans as well, I think (for example, green smoothies, chia seeds, etc.).

My one complaint is that the font chosen is far too small!! If this had been on a computer screen, I would definitely have magnified it to at least 150% for easier reading.

[Alyssa P · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a helpful read. I am not pregnant myself, but my sister is, and it was so eye-opening to hear that the physical intensity of pregnancy doesn't just end after the baby is born. There is a lot of R&R that goes into becoming strong again. It will definitely help me support my sister better!

[Jordyn Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting more of a cookbook and less about motherhood and the gateway from maiden to mother but, I did appreciate the recipes though I felt like the book was 25% recipes 75% her thoughts about postpartum and recovery. As a Christian I’m still longing to find books like this but without the constant references to chi, Ayurvedic, or other forms of what I would call false religion / false healing. I did appreciate her call to rest and keeping the postpartum period sacred, though. If you’ve read nourishing traditions a lot of the thoughts behind food in this book will feel familiar. If you already eat bone broths and healthy fat/protein rich diets you could really skip this read.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started this before my baby was born and finished it during her five million contact naps. I appreciate this book a lot more now than I did pre-baby, especially the emphasis on self-care and not trying to do it all alone, but most of the suggestions in the book just aren't realistic for most new parents in America. I also can't get behind all of the wild unscientific claims this book makes - I'm fully against any book that tells me to eat my placenta and yet somehow that was the least concerning "advice" out of all the weird crunchy mom stuff.

[Jacqie Wheeler · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of people rave about this book, especially because not many books talk about the 4th trimester and how to get though it. Although there are some good tips in here, I just find the recipes super lacking and they don't seem like the easy and fast recipes I'd be looking for while juggling a newborn. I also didn't think they sounded appetizing for the 4th trimester either.

[Brynna King · Rating 4 out of 5]

A refreshing, helpful tool when it comes to preparing for motherhood and the postpartum journey that is talked about so little. I’m excited to try many of the recipes and advice given in the book and compare experiences across the three births I’ve had. Would recommend for any new moms and especially for those supporting new moms!

[Julie Kaupin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the journalistic nature of the authors take on motherhood, and how intuitive and protective western culture approaches the postpartum era. That said, the recipes were somewhat limited and unrealistic to prepare.

[Catherine Shank · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly a must read for all mothers preparing for postpartum recovery. Such ancient wisdom, presented in a modern, understanding way. We must nourish the new mother.

[Anna Taylor · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just read the postpartum chapter in Real Food for Pregnancy by Lily Nicholas instead of this and you’ll be fine

[Stacy Mach · Rating 5 out of 5]

must read!

For birth workers and any parent entering the third trimester! How to nourish the mother using ancient techniques and modern foods.