What do you think?
Rate this book
The Liturgical Mystery #6
The Mezzo Wore Mink
(No. 6 in the series) Detective Hayden Konig is living the dream. He's rich, he loves his work, and his girlfriend is prettier than a Holiday Gift Basket full of smoked oysters. Still, Hayden's not a man to rest on his laurels. His mission is clear -- he will be a writer. Not just a writer, but a hard-boiled, noir detective wordsmith worthy of Raymond Chandler's typewriter. He has to. He owns it. Autumn in St. Germaine, North Carolina, is an enchanting time of year. But throw in two murders, an election, a Christian nudist camp, and St. Barnabas' answer to the local Baptist church's annual Singing Christmas Tree -- the first-ever performance of The Living Gobbler -- and things are bound to become complicated. Hayden Konig's 6th mystery --
The Mezzo Wore Mink
It's not what you expect...
it's even funnier!
The Mezzo Wore Mink
It's not what you expect...
it's even funnier!
192 pages, Paperback
First published February 20, 2008
About the author
Mark Schweizer
37 books83 followersIn 1974, Mark Schweizer, a brand-new high-school graduate decided to eschew the family architectural business and become an opera singer. Against all prevailing wisdom and despite jokes from his peers such as "What does the music major say after his first job interview?" (answer: You want fries with that?), he enrolled in the Music School at Stetson University. To his father, the rationale was obvious. No math requirement.
Everything happens for a reason, however, and he now lives and works as a musician, composer, author and publisher in Tryon, North Carolina with his lovely wife, Donis. If anyone finds out what he’s up to, he’ll have to go back to work at Mr. Steak. He actually has a bunch of degrees, including a Doctor of Musical Arts from the University of Arizona. I know! What were they thinking?
In the field of bad writing, Mark had the distinction of receiving a Dishonorable Mention in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual contest in which the entrants compete for the dubious honor of having composed the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. In 2007, his sentence now found on page 17 of The Mezzo Wore Mink was runner-up in the Detective Category. This, and two other of his entries, were featured in It Was A Dark and Stormy Night: A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written, edited by Scott Rice and published by The Friday Project.
In varying stages of his career, Mark has waited tables, written articles for Collgehumor.com, won opera competitions, sung oratorios, taught in college music departments, raised pot-bellied pigs and hedgehogs, directed church choirs, sung the bass solo to Beethoven’s 9th with the Atlanta Symphony, hosted a classical music radio show, taught in a seminary, sung recitals, started a regional opera company, published choral music, built a log cabin, written opera librettos, directed stage productions, helped his wife to raise their two children and managed to remain married for thirty-two years. He also owns several chainsaws.
“Well,” Donis says, “it’s never boring.
In the fall of 2001, I began what I hoped would be a funny little book about an Episcopal choir director/ detective that had a flair for bad writing. Now, nine years later, that book, The Alto Wore Tweed, has had its ninth printing and the rest of the books (bad writing aside) are winning awards and working hard to catch up. Thanks to you, the Hayden Konig adventures continue to make their way into the hands of mystery lovers and across church choirs, one reader and singer at a time.
Everything happens for a reason, however, and he now lives and works as a musician, composer, author and publisher in Tryon, North Carolina with his lovely wife, Donis. If anyone finds out what he’s up to, he’ll have to go back to work at Mr. Steak. He actually has a bunch of degrees, including a Doctor of Musical Arts from the University of Arizona. I know! What were they thinking?
In the field of bad writing, Mark had the distinction of receiving a Dishonorable Mention in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual contest in which the entrants compete for the dubious honor of having composed the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. In 2007, his sentence now found on page 17 of The Mezzo Wore Mink was runner-up in the Detective Category. This, and two other of his entries, were featured in It Was A Dark and Stormy Night: A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written, edited by Scott Rice and published by The Friday Project.
In varying stages of his career, Mark has waited tables, written articles for Collgehumor.com, won opera competitions, sung oratorios, taught in college music departments, raised pot-bellied pigs and hedgehogs, directed church choirs, sung the bass solo to Beethoven’s 9th with the Atlanta Symphony, hosted a classical music radio show, taught in a seminary, sung recitals, started a regional opera company, published choral music, built a log cabin, written opera librettos, directed stage productions, helped his wife to raise their two children and managed to remain married for thirty-two years. He also owns several chainsaws.
“Well,” Donis says, “it’s never boring.
In the fall of 2001, I began what I hoped would be a funny little book about an Episcopal choir director/ detective that had a flair for bad writing. Now, nine years later, that book, The Alto Wore Tweed, has had its ninth printing and the rest of the books (bad writing aside) are winning awards and working hard to catch up. Thanks to you, the Hayden Konig adventures continue to make their way into the hands of mystery lovers and across church choirs, one reader and singer at a time.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
November 16, 2014
Another charming mystery with Chief of Police Hayden and the St. Barnabas congregation. Everything is tongue-in-cheek as Schweitzer gently savages religious rigidity. The shtick in the series is that Hayden is also a frustrated writer, much maligned by Meg, his girlfriend. He’s writing a series of potboilers using Raymond Chandler’s typewriter and while wearing Chandler's hat. The writing of these stories within the novel are singularly bad, and he reads them to the choir before practice.
For example:
“It’s on now,” she said, with a sly smile. “Anything come to mind?” She sat reclining on the sofa, her heaving bosom rising and falling like twin boiling Christmas puddings on Boxing Day, and even as her mouth whimpered no, no, no, the rest of her body ached yes, yes, yes, except for her appendix which had been removed the year before and so didn’t care very much either way.”
Hayden’s take on Worship Committee meetings: Worship Committee meetings at church are to be avoided if at all possible. This is Rule No. 1 in the Hayden Konig Church Musician’s Handbook. Rule No. 2 is never, ever agree to do anything that Meg asks in her sultry, Lauren Bacall voice while whispering in my ear. Closely following is Rule No. 3: If anyone complains about how loud the organ is, the best possible response is to pull out all the stops. There are a myriad of other rules. For example: Never sing any anthem in which the composer or poet tries to rhyme any word with Jesus. This includes squeeze us, frees us, please us, etcetera. There are exceptions, of course, and one of them was a brilliant Christmas madrigal, penned by myself, in which I managed to rhyme Holy Jesus with Mouldy Cheeses.
The St. Barnabas priests are usually borderline lunatics and often killers. The latest temporary church leader wants to institute "The Singing Christmas Tree", (it should pay for itself in ten years or so) but that’s already being done by a church down the road, so Hayden humorously suggests "The Living Gobbler" for Thanksgiving. ( “How hard can it be? A couple of songs…the choir dressed up like tap-dancing broccoli.” “O, Lord,” said Georgia. “Tap-dancing broccoli?” “Sure,” I said. “Throw in some Thanksgiving tunes…” “How about Just As I Yam?” said Pete. “That’s a good one,” I said. “I was thinking of Up From The Gravy.”) The priest loves the idea.
Esoteric musical references are sprinkled throughout. He also has a pet owl, Archimedes, who occasionally flits in through the electric window to retrieve a dead mouse Hayden sets out for him.
Pete, the mayor, is in a tough reelection campaign. He’s accused by Cynthia, his opponent, of letting in people of suspect moral character, namely, DANGL, “The Daystar Naturists of God and Love. … I don’t think they’ll come into town naked. That’s why they have a camp. They’re not militant nudists. They’re Christian nudists.”
These are fun books. Often LOL funny, although I downgraded this one a little because it seemed to drag a bit toward the end and we really didn’t care who committed the crime. I’ve read about six novels in the series and we read all the rest for sure.
For example:
“It’s on now,” she said, with a sly smile. “Anything come to mind?” She sat reclining on the sofa, her heaving bosom rising and falling like twin boiling Christmas puddings on Boxing Day, and even as her mouth whimpered no, no, no, the rest of her body ached yes, yes, yes, except for her appendix which had been removed the year before and so didn’t care very much either way.”
Hayden’s take on Worship Committee meetings: Worship Committee meetings at church are to be avoided if at all possible. This is Rule No. 1 in the Hayden Konig Church Musician’s Handbook. Rule No. 2 is never, ever agree to do anything that Meg asks in her sultry, Lauren Bacall voice while whispering in my ear. Closely following is Rule No. 3: If anyone complains about how loud the organ is, the best possible response is to pull out all the stops. There are a myriad of other rules. For example: Never sing any anthem in which the composer or poet tries to rhyme any word with Jesus. This includes squeeze us, frees us, please us, etcetera. There are exceptions, of course, and one of them was a brilliant Christmas madrigal, penned by myself, in which I managed to rhyme Holy Jesus with Mouldy Cheeses.
The St. Barnabas priests are usually borderline lunatics and often killers. The latest temporary church leader wants to institute "The Singing Christmas Tree", (it should pay for itself in ten years or so) but that’s already being done by a church down the road, so Hayden humorously suggests "The Living Gobbler" for Thanksgiving. ( “How hard can it be? A couple of songs…the choir dressed up like tap-dancing broccoli.” “O, Lord,” said Georgia. “Tap-dancing broccoli?” “Sure,” I said. “Throw in some Thanksgiving tunes…” “How about Just As I Yam?” said Pete. “That’s a good one,” I said. “I was thinking of Up From The Gravy.”) The priest loves the idea.
Esoteric musical references are sprinkled throughout. He also has a pet owl, Archimedes, who occasionally flits in through the electric window to retrieve a dead mouse Hayden sets out for him.
Pete, the mayor, is in a tough reelection campaign. He’s accused by Cynthia, his opponent, of letting in people of suspect moral character, namely, DANGL, “The Daystar Naturists of God and Love. … I don’t think they’ll come into town naked. That’s why they have a camp. They’re not militant nudists. They’re Christian nudists.”
These are fun books. Often LOL funny, although I downgraded this one a little because it seemed to drag a bit toward the end and we really didn’t care who committed the crime. I’ve read about six novels in the series and we read all the rest for sure.
January 13, 2018
Another winner in the Liturgical series.
February 14, 2014
This is my sixth Hayden Koenig book. OCD requires me to read them in order. By now these folks have become my friends. I sit in on their informal meetings at The Slab and The Ginger Cat to hear the latest St. Germaine news (read gossip), and I can hardly wait for Sunday so I can attend St. Barnabas to see what new antics the latest priest will concoct. I no longer consider this a guilty pleasure to be read by flashlight under bedcovers, I LOL often, and I don't care who hears.
In this episode of the Liturgical Mysteries, autumn in St. Germaine displays local color such as a Christian nudist camp, an election, the first ever performance of The Living Gobbler--sure to become a Thanksgiving tradition--which smacks of a hilarious version of the ever popular Christmas Living Tree, AND two murders. The latest priest, Father Lemmings, peppers all his conversation with "doncha know." A Christian massage parlor has been established in St. Germaine. Named the Upper Womb, it brings untold possibilities for excitement. A pack of mutant rats called Minques run amuk through town.
As always, Schweizer's immense and colorful vocabulary astounds and delights me. I had to look up a word--muchlent. Couldn't find a definition in the New Oxford American Dictionary, but if it isn't a word it should be because the sound of it fits what it described to perfection. Who could ever forget, such phrases as the "unsmiling woman of equal girth and humidity" or "the Bishop's Council on councils." Simply LOVE the way Schweizer chooses words. That in itself will propel me forward to the next adventure. Actually, I can't wait another minute. Let's see, which one is next? AHHH, The Diva Wore Diamonds. Perfect.
In this episode of the Liturgical Mysteries, autumn in St. Germaine displays local color such as a Christian nudist camp, an election, the first ever performance of The Living Gobbler--sure to become a Thanksgiving tradition--which smacks of a hilarious version of the ever popular Christmas Living Tree, AND two murders. The latest priest, Father Lemmings, peppers all his conversation with "doncha know." A Christian massage parlor has been established in St. Germaine. Named the Upper Womb, it brings untold possibilities for excitement. A pack of mutant rats called Minques run amuk through town.
As always, Schweizer's immense and colorful vocabulary astounds and delights me. I had to look up a word--muchlent. Couldn't find a definition in the New Oxford American Dictionary, but if it isn't a word it should be because the sound of it fits what it described to perfection. Who could ever forget, such phrases as the "unsmiling woman of equal girth and humidity" or "the Bishop's Council on councils." Simply LOVE the way Schweizer chooses words. That in itself will propel me forward to the next adventure. Actually, I can't wait another minute. Let's see, which one is next? AHHH, The Diva Wore Diamonds. Perfect.
November 28, 2017
Perfect for the church musician with a sense of humor.
Half the jokes in these books will be gotten by all... the other 1/4 by those who know church life well, and 1/4 by those who love non-mainstream music. If you fit into that niche, give these books a try. This one started a bit slow.... but the ending was hysterical. As a professional church musician, I know I can count on a wry take on the same issues I see all the time, while solving a murder mystery to boot. I love this series.
Half the jokes in these books will be gotten by all... the other 1/4 by those who know church life well, and 1/4 by those who love non-mainstream music. If you fit into that niche, give these books a try. This one started a bit slow.... but the ending was hysterical. As a professional church musician, I know I can count on a wry take on the same issues I see all the time, while solving a murder mystery to boot. I love this series.
July 10, 2010
There are seven of these Liturgical Mysteries. They are wonderful. Not great literature, but GREAT fun. I read every one of them, one right after the other, and wished for more.
Highly recommended, especially for those who know anything about church music and small town Episcopalians.
Highly recommended, especially for those who know anything about church music and small town Episcopalians.
October 28, 2019
This one was too absurd. Too many red herrings. And the getting engaged and wedding were bizarre. The murder mystery was well done - take everything else out, very good book, because I can only handle so much comedy of the absurd. I did a lot of skimming through parts that were not necessary.
Personal note: I’m taking a break from these but my parish has four more and hope to check them. This is the problem with series, they blow up parts and get tedious.
Personal note: I’m taking a break from these but my parish has four more and hope to check them. This is the problem with series, they blow up parts and get tedious.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 27, 2016
Q: What do you get when you mix a church wedding with a handful of escaped "Minques" from the local fur farm, a Rott-wiener dog, a band of exorcists, and the debut performance of "The Living Gobbler" Thanksgiving extravaganza? Not to mention a Ferris wheel full of Christian nudists? A: I don't know either, but my head is still spinning with it!
October 3, 2017
These "liturgical mysteries" are great fun, gently ribbing the "fads" we've seen come and go in the church. The obligatory mysterious death to solve, along with flaming disaster, and a "Haydin" surprise at the end.
February 26, 2018
I have enjoyed the 5 previous books in the series, but this one exceeds them all. I would give it 6 stars if I could. Throughout the last chapter, I laughed until I cried. Reading the postlude, I broke down and wept. This is a wonderful, amazing book.
January 26, 2019
Entertaining and funny at times but the formula is wearing thin and the humor seeming to try too hard. A fun series that just isn't meant to be sustained book after book. Probably four was more than enough. I know I'm done.
April 6, 2024
I just love these books so much! I want to live in St. Germaine, sing in their choir, eat at the Slab…so very funny, especially for musicians and liturgical ones in particular! I am regularly laughing out loud while reading Marks’s stories!
January 22, 2020
Another fun little mystery from Mark Schweizer. I think that St. Barnabas would be at the top if murder stats went in church records. I am beginning to love this quirky little series.
March 17, 2020
Ridiculously over the top. Also, the perfect book to read when the world is too serious.
May 28, 2022
Not Bad
The character development through each installment is fun, but the satire is starting to run a bit thin. On to the next.
The character development through each installment is fun, but the satire is starting to run a bit thin. On to the next.
May 10, 2024
Another fun, lighthearted tale by Mark Schweizer.
February 7, 2017
The funniest of the ones I've read.
November 20, 2011
The sixth installment of the Liturgical Mysteries reintroduces the good people of the village of St Germaine, North Carolina, the good people of St Barnabas' Episcopal Church, the fellow who is both chief of police to the one and organist-choirmaster to the other. There is much that is new in this episode. The interim priest at St Barnabas' produces "The Living Gobbler" -- a Thanksgiving spectacular show calculated to compete with the neighbouring Baptist's "Singing Christmas Tree." The reader also meets a sterile cross between a male pacarana and a female nutria, the pelts of which were to be marketed as "minque," a Ferris wheel in a cemetery, a Christian nudist summer camp, a mayoral election in St Germaine, a Christian massage parlour called The Upper Womb, and a vegan Rottweiner (a cross between a Rottweiler and a Dachshund). Interposed with all of this are fragments of yet another horrible installment of the crime noir writing of the protagonist, influenced not only by using Raymond Chandler's actual manual typewriter but, in this episode, by wearing Raymond Chandler's actual fedora. This is incredibly funny stuff! I can't wait to begin reading "The Diva Wore Diamonds."
August 21, 2018
I wish I could pen a review of this book like "Grandmother of six" did on Amazon. Her take was perfect. I can't, and I won't even try. The series is beyond explanation. But this might help:
If you enjoy a book with memorable characters that make you laugh out loud, if you enjoy crazy church politics that you can't possibly take seriously, if you think you'd take pleasure in seeing the first-ever performance of "The Living Gobbler" (sure to be a new Thanksgiving tradition) or a visit to a Christian massage parlor named "The Upper Womb," then this book (and the series) is definitely for you.
And if you read this book and don't find it funny, you might want to go in and have your humor bone checked.
If you enjoy a book with memorable characters that make you laugh out loud, if you enjoy crazy church politics that you can't possibly take seriously, if you think you'd take pleasure in seeing the first-ever performance of "The Living Gobbler" (sure to be a new Thanksgiving tradition) or a visit to a Christian massage parlor named "The Upper Womb," then this book (and the series) is definitely for you.
And if you read this book and don't find it funny, you might want to go in and have your humor bone checked.
May 3, 2008
My blizzard book, this series just keeps getting better. I love the main characters and can't wait to see what disaster befalls the church this time round. This one wasn't as laugh out loud funny as the last book, but it was great none the less. I'm not sure how he manages to combine churches, police chief, very serious music, very bad writing and super silly songs and make the stories this much fun.
April 1, 2008
This is a fun, quick read, one in a series of goofy small-town antics by Mark Schweizer. For my Carolina friends, you'll be interested to know that it's set in fictional St Germaine, NC, supposedly within shouting distance of Boone. The main character has a penchant for writing bad crime novels, so his expcerpts are very funny.
May 7, 2011
I love these books! A little mystery, a lot of fun. I wouldn't consider this one the best of the series, but an improvement over the last one I read. Love the little town and all the whacky characters.
November 13, 2011
The Living Gobbler - the St. Baranbas Thanksgiving extravaganza led by the Rev. Lemming and his wife, the new ministry team at the church. That's really all that needs to be said. If you're an aficionado of this series, you get it! I love this series!
February 1, 2016
3.5 stars
This series is a hoot. Firmly tongue in cheek but cleverly written,with humor as a main character. Unapologetically corny, with outrageous character names and hilarious scenes, they are always an enjoyable time.
This series is a hoot. Firmly tongue in cheek but cleverly written,with humor as a main character. Unapologetically corny, with outrageous character names and hilarious scenes, they are always an enjoyable time.
April 3, 2008
All these books in the series are a hoot. If you are looking for a small town with an inside look into the choir loft, these are sure picks.
July 4, 2009
Funny like all the rest!
October 19, 2009
I thought this was Schweizer's best mystery in the series. And it was a heck of a lot of fun, too. St. Germaine was at its absurb, yet lovable best.
July 13, 2010
I really love these books!!!
July 3, 2010
The "mink" story line was hilarious. Especially when they... well, you'll have to read it yourself.
March 9, 2013
Most hilarious book I've read in a very long time! So much fun, especially if you're an Episcopalian. This series is very much up my alley. Try one, you'll enjoy it.
April 10, 2012
The Minques (TM) are pretty hilarious.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews