The Tick People

by Carlton Mellick III

They call it Gloom Town, but that isn't its real name. It is a sad city, the saddest of cities, a place so utterly depressing that even their ales are brewed with the most sorrow-filled tears. They built it on the back of a colossal mountain-sized animal, where its woeful citizens live like human fleas within the hairy, pulsing landscape. And those tasked with keeping the city in a state of constant melancholy are the Stressmen-a team of professional sadness-makers who are perpetually striving to invent new ways of causing absolute misery. But for the Stressman known as Fernando Mendez, creating grief hasn't been so easy as of late. His ideas aren't effective anymore. His treatments are more likely to induce happiness than sadness. And if he wants to get back in the game, he's going to have to relearn the true meaning of despair. Like James and the Giant Peach combined with one of David Cronenberg's early body horror films, The Tick People is a charming children's fable that quickly devolves into a grotesque sexual nightmare.

Genres: Bizarro Fiction, Horror, Fiction, Humor, Science Fiction, Fantasy

91 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2014

About the author

Carlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.

Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi/horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire.

Carlton Mellick III started writing at the age of ten and completed twelve novels by the age of eighteen. Only one of these early novels, "Electric Jesus Corpse", ever made it to print.

He is best known for his first novel Satan Burger and its sequel Punk Land. Satan Burger was translated into Russian and published by Ultra Culture in 2005. It was part of a four book series called Brave New World, which also featured Virtual Light by William Gibson, City Come A Walkin by John Shirley, and Tea from an Empty Cup by Pat Cadigan.

In the late 90's, he formed a collective for offbeat authors which included D. Harlan Wilson, Kevin L. Donihe, Vincent Sakowski, among others, and the publishing company Eraserhead Press. This scene evolved into the Bizarro fiction movement in 2005.

In addition to writing, Mellick is an artist and musician.

Reviews

[Samaire Wynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was yucky and gross and I couldn't put it down. :D

[Douglas Hackle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A man who lives in a city built on the back of a mountain-sized dog struggles with his simultaneous sexual desire and disgust for a mutant tick woman. The city's denizens must keep the dog in a sad state so that it doesn't wag its gigantic tail to cause mass destruction to the city. A quick, entertaining read. Check it out or you're a grody tick person.

[Alexandria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This type of silliness reminds me of the fairy tales, I read as a child, only with lots of adult situations.

[Pedro Proença · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some things never change. People still die, grape soda it's still amazing, and Carlton Mellick III still is the Bizarro king.

The Tick People is an erotic book, for sure. I agree with Doodle Carlton (at the end of his books, Mellick adds in a little comic strip) saying that this book is sexy. It sure is, if you like thinking about sex with disgusting, non human creatures.

And boy, how I do like it.

Carlton says that this project was one he used to get unstuck while working on a bigger book, just something to motivate him to push forward. Which proves that, even writing a "filler" Carlton manages to strike gold.

This is a tale of a man trying to be better at his job, wanting to continue the legacy of his father. It's almost a Greek tragedy, with the man being merely a pawn of Destiny. Even the concept of matchmates introduced in the book reflects that.

Also about matchmates: CMCIII is still the master of Bizarro worldbuilding. It's uncanny how he can transport you into whatever absurd reality he constructs, and you believe it because he makes you believe it. The reality of the city, built on the back of a giant dog is so sad, I actually teared up in the first pages.

So, as I've said, some things never change, and Carlton Mellick III delivering awesome, fun, entertaining Bizarro stories is one of those things.

[Albert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well that was deeply disturbing and I loved it. Very original as usual. Time for a shower or three.

[Alex | | findingmontauk1 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is as balls to the walls, wild, and as extremely imaginative as you'd imagine!

The back of the book calls this James and the Giant Peach mixed with David Croneberg...and... YES!!

They live on a mountain that turns out to be a kaiju-esque dog. They keep the dog sad because a happy huge dog = happy huge tail wags = earthquakes and death. ☠

Humans' genitals have turned into keys and locks - only one key fits in to one lock and there's molding, analysis, and matchmaking.

Tick people also live on this dog (it helps keep him subdued and sad). Never before has a human matched with a tick person. Who communicates by secreting smells and fluids...

This book explores our darkest yet most honest selves. It's a raw look at our primal (and oftentimes gluttonous) behaviors that even disgust ourselves.

I loved it. But of course I did!

[Andrew Stone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Mellick's The Tick People throughout a single shift at work. I work on the night shift as a janitor at a church (a job I have worked the last two summers and am back for another go). But really, I spend most the shift searching for a hiding spot throughout the church and reading (it's a damn big church).

I tired getting into this book a few times a few months before but never got past the first page (I was probably really drunk and couldn't really make sense of anything). But being sober at work, I read through this book reel quick. And I absolutely loved it. Each time I read another Mellick book, that book becomes my new favorite Mellick book, and The Tick People is no exception. But if you haven't figured it out by now, I don't really want to talk about this book in this review. Just know that I am now living sober. But reading The Tick People puts you on another planet. A planet, believe it or not, that is even better (WAY BETTER) than the one I visited night after night in an alcohol-fused coma.

[Shevek · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most fucked-up Mellick's book I have read so far, and maybe this is why I have enjoyed it so much. Although the premise reminds of other works by Pratchett or Miyazaki in some aspects, the story and the style are completely refreshing, with several concepts and ideas that are absolutely brilliant. The progressive marginalization of the main character serves to show a corrupted society driven by selfishness and judgment. The relationship between Fernando and his match is disgusting and repulsive, but yet cute. Somehow Mellick manages to make the reader emphatize with the character, which is not easy at all in this story.

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a doctorate in entomology and I've worked on arachnids for years in natural history museums. I love all insects and spiders and appreciate many aspects of their many varied lives. I also gravitate to the bizarro genre and love it as well.
This.
This book.
This book is anti-erotica and I've never been disgusted by ticks until now.
hahhahaha
And despite how disgusting and disturbing the sex scenes in this book are, I couldn't give it less than 4 stars. Maybe I'm like the protagonist, unable to stop myself, and now I'm disgusted with myself for giving this book such high marks.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

What if technology could allow you to find your perfect soulmate? What if your genitalia fit perfectly together like a literal lock and key? What if your soulmate was a six foot tall mutant insect? And what if you all lived on the back of a colossal depressed dog? This novella answers these questions.

"The Tick People" belongs to a subgenre of weird fiction called "bizarro." From what I've seen, bizarro is to weird tales what splatterpunk is to conventional horror fiction: it takes elements present in the parent genre and ramps them up to incredibly graphic heights.

This novella definitely isn't for everyone, it revels in grotesque, ooze-slathered descriptions of sex between the protagonist and his arthropod paramour, but it seemed to me there was more going on than just a juvenile attempt to shock the audience for shock's sake. The end result felt like it was influenced by both Kafka and Terry Gilliam's Brazil, with bits of Douglas Adams and punk mixed in.

Recommended for people who like the weirder side of horror.

[Simon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Regarding weirdness, this one was so far out there - wow!
A city built on a huge dog, who has to be kept sad, so that movement and tail wagging don't destroy districts. Tick Mutants living next to humans. The perfect partner for everyone actually existing, determined by compatible shape of sexual organs. Disgusting interspecies relations...
This is a book about disgust and being slave to one's urges, mostly. As such, it basically is a book about sex. Not pornographic, not even really "eroticized" (it is thoroughly disgusting), but still.

Is it well-written? Yes.
Apart from that, you have to figure out for yourself if the above list appeals to you - or appals you. I liked the story well enough, but it was not outstanding...

[Alexis Kubala · Rating 5 out of 5]

Misery loves company. A very bizarre plot, with twists that turn out to be too good to miss. As always, his work never fails in imagery or urgency to be entirely read. Rather disgusting, repulsive, and slightly hot, I don’t think this book could disappoint anyone that’s a fan of Bizarro or does not have a faint heart.

[Joshua Rainey · Rating 4 out of 5]

My only complaint about this book was that it was too short. The world building has some interesting concepts that could be explored in more depth. There were some wild, but interesting ideas that I would’ve liked to see unfold more. Other than that I enjoyed it. It was a pretty quick read, I just sat down and read it in one go.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

RTF

[Marcus · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first one of his books that was too uncomfortable (even for me)

[Rob Karraker · Rating 4 out of 5]

When i first started to read this book, i was off set by the idea of the world being on the back of a dog. we are set up with a mate for life, but when a dude is set up with a tick person, things get really, and i mean really, weird. I ended up enjoying this book, it was something i will never forget. Remember, this is one book that is out there in left field.

[Richard Longmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who has dealt with the emotional rollercoaster that is dating would love if there was a faster way. Fuck match.com or eharmony. CM3 sorted it out.

In his universe, genitals are the (literal) key. And every key has a perfect lock. Let the right people review your junk and they'll keep it on file until your crotch-mate is found. And, as luck would have it, our protagonist's perfect match is in their files. No more of the doldrums of dating!

Oh, but one thing...this universe also has tick people. Bug-like creatures, generally living in filth and squalor. And it appears our (human) protagonist is matched with one of their women. This never happened in the past. Can a human man and a tick person woman be good mates? Will he even try this cross-species romance? What consequences could there be if he does? And will their mating be graphically described by the king of Bizarro Fiction?

This book is a quick read that will hit the spot for people who want to chuckle while they are grossed out. So why not grab a copy, deposit your eggs in the dirt, then sit down and have a good read as you're incubating?

[Kevin Lintner · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The Tick People" is an odd and brooding work from one of my favorite authors, Carlton Mellick, III. An entire population of people have taken root on the back of a giant dog who must be kept sad at all times because even a few wags of its tale would cause an apocalypse and wipe out Gloom Town. The story centers around Fernando Mendez, a Stressman, who is employed with the task of keeping the giant canine as sad as possible. Mendez is nagged into going to The Matchmaker by his overbearing sister in hopes of finding his perfect mate who turns out to be a half-human, half tick monstrosity that disgusts him so much he can't stop mating with her. The whole book seems to be more of an exercise in gross-out fiction than anything else. It starts out promising, giving us a very well detailed look at a Dystopian Whoville like world, but quickly starts to feel forced and overdone. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed it very much, just not as much as other Mellick books that I've read.

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Those who are easily grossed out might want to avoid this book, but I found it to be fascinating -- repulsive, but fascinating (which, I think, may be what Mellick was aiming for). Gloom Town is a city built on a giant dog and the main character, Fernando Mendez, is a Stressman -- one whose job it is to keep the dog depressed so he won't get excited and cause earthquakes (dogquakes?).

While on administrative leave for making an error on the job, Fernando gets a visit from his sister, who has registered him at a matchmaking service -- which is how all residents of Gloom Town find their ideal mates. But Fernando's ideal mate turns out to be a mutant tick person, something that both excites and sickens him.

That's all I will say, as I don't want to spoil anything. But Mellick has proven once again that he is a master of the bizarro fiction genre.

[C. Patrick Neagle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't recommend this book to most of the people I know. It's bizzaro fiction and isn't for everybody -- maybe not even for all that many bodies. But, hey, I liked it. Gross. Yes. Strange. Most definitely. Includes sex with tick people? Check. Weird? Yes (Buy, hey, you ask, isn't that the same as 'strange' -- yeah, no, maybe...get off my back. What are ya, some sort of tick person?). So now you know. Oh, it's also novella length, so you can always read something afterwards to rinse your brain-mouth out with.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fucking brilliant

In a country located on a giant dog lies fluffsville aka Gloomsville lives Fernando. He lives to depress the dog so he doesn't move. After an accident accident one day Fernando is suspended from work, and so starts a brilliantly insane story. I highly recommend this book to all fan's of modern horror

[Brett Grossmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty short piece. Clever always.

[Eevie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The comic at the end.. made the entire book.
Mellick for President!!

[Jared Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its sick, gross, disgusting and disturbing, but i enjoyed it.

[Joshua Friesen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another craze fever dream...