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An Unreliable Guide to London
An Unreliable Guide to London brings together 26 stories about the lesser known parts of a world renowned city. Stories that stretch the reader's definition of the truth, questioning reality and fiction simultaneously. Stories of wind nymphs in North Clapham tube station, the horse sized swan at Brentford Ait, Sleeping Clinics in NW3 and the celebrations for St Margaret's Day of the Dead.
Taking its cue from travel guides, London histories and books like Tired of London, Tired of Life, An Unreliable Guide to London shakes up the canon of London writing with a tongue firmly rooted in its cheek.
An Unreliable Guide to London is the perfect summer read for city dwellers up and down the country. With a list of contributors reflecting the multi-layered, complex social structures of the city, it is the essential guide to London, showing you everything you never knew existed.
Taking its cue from travel guides, London histories and books like Tired of London, Tired of Life, An Unreliable Guide to London shakes up the canon of London writing with a tongue firmly rooted in its cheek.
An Unreliable Guide to London is the perfect summer read for city dwellers up and down the country. With a list of contributors reflecting the multi-layered, complex social structures of the city, it is the essential guide to London, showing you everything you never knew existed.
288 pages, Paperback
First published July 9, 2016
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June 20, 2017A brilliant, brilliant collection. Stories about London, divided into north, east, south, and west (and it means those parts; no central London/Oxford Street/Tower nonsense, but the parts actual people actually live), some fantastical, some realistic, all bizarre and grimy as the city itself. I've never read anything quite so much in the spirit of the place, even when the stories are as gloriously implausible as the one about the man hunting a huge purple cryptid swan at Brentford Ait, let alone the painful tale of a Muslim frightened to report a suspicious package near Wormwood Scrubs.
I don't even know how this works if you don't live here. Is the long extended riff on Staples Corner (and how we can know it) applicable to other shopping hellholes under flyovers? I don't know because I have the misfortune to live near Staples Corner, and the descriptions of the surreal penitential nature of going there and the existential dread that surrounds it might have been plucked from my own scarred psyche.
Customers enter the store straight after you, but you know there were only the two of you in that car park. These other customers fom on entry, visitors from a world you are not privy to. The carpet is womb-red. The air is artificial and warm. The atmosphere flickers.
This unreliable guide is self-described as "Bad advice -- Limited scope -- No practical use", but if you want to know what London i>feels like, in its diversity and resentment and odd corners and constant churn, this is the book.
I don't even know how this works if you don't live here. Is the long extended riff on Staples Corner (and how we can know it) applicable to other shopping hellholes under flyovers? I don't know because I have the misfortune to live near Staples Corner, and the descriptions of the surreal penitential nature of going there and the existential dread that surrounds it might have been plucked from my own scarred psyche.
Customers enter the store straight after you, but you know there were only the two of you in that car park. These other customers fom on entry, visitors from a world you are not privy to. The carpet is womb-red. The air is artificial and warm. The atmosphere flickers.
This unreliable guide is self-described as "Bad advice -- Limited scope -- No practical use", but if you want to know what London i>feels like, in its diversity and resentment and odd corners and constant churn, this is the book.
June 28, 2016
‘An Unreliable Guide to London’ is an anthology of twenty-three short stories set in the lesser known parts of our capital city. It is an exploration of the impact of nostalgia, resentments and a desire for recognition. It entreats the reader to observe what is and was, to reflect on all that is happening around them, wherever they may be.
Cities exist in a state of flux, continuous change which many resist. Even long term residents are transients, memory subject to interpretation. A city is an aggregation of human intentions and endeavour, at the whim of decisions causing repurcussions which are rarely appreciated at the time.
These stories tell of places that existed for a moment, told not by historians but by those who experienced them. So much happens that goes unseen, although ambience may be remembered and reminisced over. It is this which, when lost, may be craved.
The anthology is divided into four geographical areas, the tales reflections on time and place. I have picked out those from each section which particularly resonated.
West
‘In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait‘, by Eley Williams, tells of a man who has given over his life to the research of cryptids, in particular the existence of a huge swan that legend claims exists on an uninhabited island in the River Thames. The zeal with which the protagonist pursues his hobby provides humour alongside the history. The asides regarding his wife are glorious.
‘Staples Corner (and how we can know it)’, by Gary Budden, tells of the nightmare that is the modern shopping experience. Cavernous warehouse type emporiums, staffed by uniformed sales assistants sticking remorselessly to a script designed to maximise each customer spend suck all potential pleasure from the making of a purchase. The dispiriting experience of a young couple in need of a new laptop is portrayed with dark humour.
North
‘Mother Black Cap’s Revenge’, by George F., reveals the inverted snobbery of those who choose to live on the edges of society. Their spaces have been shut down, taken over and gentrified. Alternative venues, newly created, are invaded by those they regard as sub-culture tourists. These interlopers are treated with disdain.
Society may struggle to accept the anarchists in their midsts, but the anarchists also struggle to accept those they deem mere thrill seekers. They desire their own space, as exclusive as any capitalist club.
‘The Camden Blood Thieves’, by Saleena Godden, tells of a writer who regards her life as one of romantic solitude. During a drunken night out this becomes unbearable. She meets men in pubs, visits a club and hangs out on the streets around Camden. She feels witty and believes she is having fun. As she continues to drink, her various experiences merge and overlap. It is unclear what is real, what is distorted memory or a drunken dream. How much of life is an interpretation?
‘Notes on London’s Housing Crisis’, by Will Wiles, takes the reader to an alternative reality where housing is treated much like a car purchase. Low cost living pods slotted into purpose built structures may be upgraded; neighbouring pods added for expansion. It is designed to be flexible, affordable and upgradable; yet this fabulous idea is floundering due to individual’s greed and a lack of central investment. However impressive the potential of an idea, it seems that man can always find a way to degrade it.
‘Soft on the Inside’, by Noo Sao-Wiwa, is set in a taxidermy shop. It opines that:
“Stuffing the dead is an interesting concept […] an ordinary cadavar on public show is considered f**ked up on all levels. Animals bodies, on the other hand, are considered fair game.”
Many of the animals’ bodies were provided by a game hunter:
“Galloway was a trophy hunter, a turd of a human being who loved animals in all the wrong ways […] it was the thrill of the kill that got him going; each gunshot was like an ejaculation.”
When the animals are given twelve hours of life, they seek revenge on their killer.
South
‘Rose’s Woolwich’, by Paul Ewen, is a masterpiece of humour and irony. Set in a traditional pub on a Friday lunchtime it is gently mocking of the clientelle, even if their reaction to the Francis Plug like customer was entirely understandable. The lizard metaphor is fabulous.
‘In the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens’, by Sunny Singh, is a poignant, beautiful, love story about a bachelor nearing retirement. It pulled at my heart. The denouement was perfect.
‘Nightingale Lane’, by Stephanie Victoire, offers up sylphs, the spirit of a place that can remain in hidden corners despite transcience and change. They may be found by those who seek them out, forged by their past, present and future.
“we will always be here should you return. We keep all stories for all time; just remember how we taught you to see them, hear them and feel them.”
‘Thy Kingdom Come’, by Koye Oyedeji, explores how our personal histories may be stolen from under us by other’s recollections. A graffitied tower block with drug riddled stairwells may be reinvented, an improvement if only for notoriety. A bunch of insignificant boys become gangs with power, the current crop of wanabees looking on with wide eyed respect as tales are told of daring do by masters of embellishment.
“Emcee has a small army of young men who will follow him without question. He feeds their need to remain relevent, quenching their thirst for representation.”
East
‘Heavy Manners’, by Tim Wells, takes the reader through a Saturday spent in a record shop back in the day. It talks of the anticipation, exhileration and thrill of new music.
“Country and reggae both spring from the struggles of working people. Even in the more divided 70s and 80s there was some harmony on the record shelves. Leave people to get on with it and there usually is.”
As with many of the stories in this collection, there is disdain for the here and now.
‘Tayyabs’ by Nikesh Shukla, mocks hipsters (almost too easy a trope) whilst exploring individuals’ sense of self worth. In every walk of life, it seems, there is a bartering of what is valued whilst jockeying for position.
‘Warm and Toasty’, by Yvette Edwards, is a story of kindness. After the intensity of so many of the previous tales this quenched a thirst.
‘There is Something Very Wrong with Leyton Mills Retail Park’, by Gareth E. Rees, contains some brilliantly funny observations on the fictions played out in modern life, where shop fronts are painted onto vacant units and giant ASDA people with perfect skin and hair leap over invisible objects.
“Hung on the wall next to the boy is a banner advert for air freshener: Smell the Scents of Autumn. Not the odours. It puzzles me. The artificial smell of autumn they’ve created will rid us of the odours we smell in the actual autumn? Is that the idea?”
‘Filamo’, by Irenosen Okojie was beyond my comprehension but brought to mind the Freudian musings in ‘The White Hotel’ by D.M. Thomas. I didn’t really get that story either.
.
This collection offers London life from so many angles and viewpoints. It concludes with a few paragraphs on each of the authors, and asks them to name a favourite ‘off piste’ location in the city. Mine would be St George’s Gardens, a small eighteenth century cemetary near Bloomsbury. There is something soothing about sitting amongst those peacefully resting souls, whose lives will have been anything but, just like ours.
Introducing the reader to a variety of Londoners, their aspirations and irritations, enables empathy with those whose lives and choices we may struggle to comprehend. This is London, inglorious yet profound. Such people and places are everywhere.
My copy of this book was provided gratis by the publisher, Influx Press.
Cities exist in a state of flux, continuous change which many resist. Even long term residents are transients, memory subject to interpretation. A city is an aggregation of human intentions and endeavour, at the whim of decisions causing repurcussions which are rarely appreciated at the time.
These stories tell of places that existed for a moment, told not by historians but by those who experienced them. So much happens that goes unseen, although ambience may be remembered and reminisced over. It is this which, when lost, may be craved.
The anthology is divided into four geographical areas, the tales reflections on time and place. I have picked out those from each section which particularly resonated.
West
‘In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait‘, by Eley Williams, tells of a man who has given over his life to the research of cryptids, in particular the existence of a huge swan that legend claims exists on an uninhabited island in the River Thames. The zeal with which the protagonist pursues his hobby provides humour alongside the history. The asides regarding his wife are glorious.
‘Staples Corner (and how we can know it)’, by Gary Budden, tells of the nightmare that is the modern shopping experience. Cavernous warehouse type emporiums, staffed by uniformed sales assistants sticking remorselessly to a script designed to maximise each customer spend suck all potential pleasure from the making of a purchase. The dispiriting experience of a young couple in need of a new laptop is portrayed with dark humour.
North
‘Mother Black Cap’s Revenge’, by George F., reveals the inverted snobbery of those who choose to live on the edges of society. Their spaces have been shut down, taken over and gentrified. Alternative venues, newly created, are invaded by those they regard as sub-culture tourists. These interlopers are treated with disdain.
Society may struggle to accept the anarchists in their midsts, but the anarchists also struggle to accept those they deem mere thrill seekers. They desire their own space, as exclusive as any capitalist club.
‘The Camden Blood Thieves’, by Saleena Godden, tells of a writer who regards her life as one of romantic solitude. During a drunken night out this becomes unbearable. She meets men in pubs, visits a club and hangs out on the streets around Camden. She feels witty and believes she is having fun. As she continues to drink, her various experiences merge and overlap. It is unclear what is real, what is distorted memory or a drunken dream. How much of life is an interpretation?
‘Notes on London’s Housing Crisis’, by Will Wiles, takes the reader to an alternative reality where housing is treated much like a car purchase. Low cost living pods slotted into purpose built structures may be upgraded; neighbouring pods added for expansion. It is designed to be flexible, affordable and upgradable; yet this fabulous idea is floundering due to individual’s greed and a lack of central investment. However impressive the potential of an idea, it seems that man can always find a way to degrade it.
‘Soft on the Inside’, by Noo Sao-Wiwa, is set in a taxidermy shop. It opines that:
“Stuffing the dead is an interesting concept […] an ordinary cadavar on public show is considered f**ked up on all levels. Animals bodies, on the other hand, are considered fair game.”
Many of the animals’ bodies were provided by a game hunter:
“Galloway was a trophy hunter, a turd of a human being who loved animals in all the wrong ways […] it was the thrill of the kill that got him going; each gunshot was like an ejaculation.”
When the animals are given twelve hours of life, they seek revenge on their killer.
South
‘Rose’s Woolwich’, by Paul Ewen, is a masterpiece of humour and irony. Set in a traditional pub on a Friday lunchtime it is gently mocking of the clientelle, even if their reaction to the Francis Plug like customer was entirely understandable. The lizard metaphor is fabulous.
‘In the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens’, by Sunny Singh, is a poignant, beautiful, love story about a bachelor nearing retirement. It pulled at my heart. The denouement was perfect.
‘Nightingale Lane’, by Stephanie Victoire, offers up sylphs, the spirit of a place that can remain in hidden corners despite transcience and change. They may be found by those who seek them out, forged by their past, present and future.
“we will always be here should you return. We keep all stories for all time; just remember how we taught you to see them, hear them and feel them.”
‘Thy Kingdom Come’, by Koye Oyedeji, explores how our personal histories may be stolen from under us by other’s recollections. A graffitied tower block with drug riddled stairwells may be reinvented, an improvement if only for notoriety. A bunch of insignificant boys become gangs with power, the current crop of wanabees looking on with wide eyed respect as tales are told of daring do by masters of embellishment.
“Emcee has a small army of young men who will follow him without question. He feeds their need to remain relevent, quenching their thirst for representation.”
East
‘Heavy Manners’, by Tim Wells, takes the reader through a Saturday spent in a record shop back in the day. It talks of the anticipation, exhileration and thrill of new music.
“Country and reggae both spring from the struggles of working people. Even in the more divided 70s and 80s there was some harmony on the record shelves. Leave people to get on with it and there usually is.”
As with many of the stories in this collection, there is disdain for the here and now.
‘Tayyabs’ by Nikesh Shukla, mocks hipsters (almost too easy a trope) whilst exploring individuals’ sense of self worth. In every walk of life, it seems, there is a bartering of what is valued whilst jockeying for position.
‘Warm and Toasty’, by Yvette Edwards, is a story of kindness. After the intensity of so many of the previous tales this quenched a thirst.
‘There is Something Very Wrong with Leyton Mills Retail Park’, by Gareth E. Rees, contains some brilliantly funny observations on the fictions played out in modern life, where shop fronts are painted onto vacant units and giant ASDA people with perfect skin and hair leap over invisible objects.
“Hung on the wall next to the boy is a banner advert for air freshener: Smell the Scents of Autumn. Not the odours. It puzzles me. The artificial smell of autumn they’ve created will rid us of the odours we smell in the actual autumn? Is that the idea?”
‘Filamo’, by Irenosen Okojie was beyond my comprehension but brought to mind the Freudian musings in ‘The White Hotel’ by D.M. Thomas. I didn’t really get that story either.
.
This collection offers London life from so many angles and viewpoints. It concludes with a few paragraphs on each of the authors, and asks them to name a favourite ‘off piste’ location in the city. Mine would be St George’s Gardens, a small eighteenth century cemetary near Bloomsbury. There is something soothing about sitting amongst those peacefully resting souls, whose lives will have been anything but, just like ours.
Introducing the reader to a variety of Londoners, their aspirations and irritations, enables empathy with those whose lives and choices we may struggle to comprehend. This is London, inglorious yet profound. Such people and places are everywhere.
My copy of this book was provided gratis by the publisher, Influx Press.
July 24, 2016
Impressive scope, and actually, a fairly reliable guide to London life. At its best when it's incensed and funny, like London.
Particularly enjoyed pieces by Saro-Wiwi, Ewen, Oyedeji.
Particularly enjoyed pieces by Saro-Wiwi, Ewen, Oyedeji.
June 21, 2016
Great idea for an anthology and a broad range of writers included. Most stories are good and a couple are really exceptional.
July 9, 2016
Bad Advice, Limited Scope, No Practical Use runs the line above the title, a tongue in cheek description of this rather wonderful collection of short stories about the nation's capital. These kind of anthologies can sometimes be a bit hit and miss, but on the whole, An Unreliable Guide hits far more times than it misses.
The vast majority of these authors are new to me, but they all write with a distinctive voice and their tales cover everything from place, people, psycho-geography, love, life and, in the strangest story of all, time travelling monks and a serial killer!
This book was a Kickstarter project and with short stories seemingly out of fashion amongst the big publishing houses, this is probably the way forward for such anthologies. The quality of writing is very high indeed, the stories by turns strange, heartwarming and thought provoking. Every aspect of the capital is examined, from capitalism to the disintegration of community, from LGBT rights to paranoia and loneliness, love and death.
It is available from Influx Press and is well worth seeking out.
The vast majority of these authors are new to me, but they all write with a distinctive voice and their tales cover everything from place, people, psycho-geography, love, life and, in the strangest story of all, time travelling monks and a serial killer!
This book was a Kickstarter project and with short stories seemingly out of fashion amongst the big publishing houses, this is probably the way forward for such anthologies. The quality of writing is very high indeed, the stories by turns strange, heartwarming and thought provoking. Every aspect of the capital is examined, from capitalism to the disintegration of community, from LGBT rights to paranoia and loneliness, love and death.
It is available from Influx Press and is well worth seeking out.
August 1, 2016
Fantastic anthology of stories, and a must-read for anyone in and around London. Particularly enjoyed stories by Nikesh Shukla, Kit Caless, Gary Budden and M. John Harrison, but so many gems in here.
May 9, 2019
At the start of this year I made a commitment to myself that I was going to do more with supporting Independent Publishers and Authors alike. It’s great working for STORGY and getting sent free books for review – but I wanted to do more, so have been making sure I personally purchase a book from an Indie Author or Publisher each month and review it on STORGY – some of the books I’ve reviewed since this commitment have been, Chain Linked, Don’t Try this at Home, Fortune Box, Not Everyone Is Special, Business as Usual and Sweet Home.
This month it was the turn of the fabulous Influx Press…
As a Londoner this book jumped out at me. Plus it also features some stories from the places that I lived – they seemed to skirt away from where I grew up – Catford, Lewisham, Croydon and the God awful place of my birth the Downham Estate in South East London (I call it that South East London, many call it Kent – but we got red busses so technically it’s hanging onto London like a giant wart on its ass).
I have to say I absolutely loved the collection, such a range of voices, so many depictions of the most fabulous city in the world. The writers which Influx were able to attract to this project did a sterling job in creating tales which are true to the places and also true to Londoners – in all our various guises. It was, and is a fabulously rich collection, you’ll discover some great writers you may not have heard about and read some great stories from established writers. But having heaped so much praise on the collection – I came away from it feeling a little sad.
The writers have, in many of the stories, hit the nail on the head, detailing the sickness that is working its way across London, that sickness which goes by the name gentrification. It’s a common theme of the stories held within the book. Each time I return to my humble London roots I’m met with more coffee shops, more boutiques, more vegan eateries, more high brow shops, bigger and more outlandish Apple Stores (and I don’t mean the Greengrocer – that went when people could pick up their fruit and veg in the new ASDA – and don’t talk to me about the plight of the local butcher).
The London suburbs have a prevalent sickness (which is touched upon in these stories) that is driving the locals out, pricing them out, and making them conform to a system they didn’t ask for. The estate people I grew up with are being replaced by bankers and wankers, those that can afford to live on the commuter belt, destroying communities that have stood for years. Pricing out the locals and encouraging those that remain to step up and consume what they are being given which is mostly middle-class taste.
In Downham it was working class through and through – now you have people walking around with pug dogs and couture fashion, hipsters swanning around with no socks and cups of coffee in glass flasks. What was wrong with the kids that used to sniff glue on the corner, and the Aladdins Cave that sold everything you may ever need, and the Woolworths, and the Bingo Hall, and the dog shit and smashed in shopfronts, and the fish man that used to pop in the pub and sell his warm meats for the drunks and the desperate?
Sorry I digress. Back to An Unreliable Guide to London – it’s brilliant!
If a book can get me this fired up – then it’s sure to get other true Londoners pretty vexed too. It’s not all about gentrification, there are some witty stories, weird stories and some astounding pieces of fiction in here too – so do take a look! Some of the stories I enjoyed mostly are detailed a bit more below. I could have talked about each story in turn as they are so awesome – but given my rant above and the shear amount of quality on show, this review would be a good few thousand words…so without further delay, here were some of my favourites!
Soft on the Inside – By Noo Saro-Wiwa
I love strange, weird fiction and Soft on the Inside delivered on that front in spades! There is a taxidermy shop called ‘Get Stuffed‘ – where one fateful day someone utters an enchantment and all the stuffed creatures come alive, for a limited time only. They decide that they want to get their own back on Don Galloway a beastly gentleman who has been trading in endangered species. He sold some tiger cubs to the shop, shortly after, Get Stuffed was raided by the police and the tiger cubs were removed and buried. It falls to the least conspicuous animals to go on a mission, a mission to get their own back on Don Galloway – so ‘Terri’ the Terrier and a grey and red squirrel, head off to cause havoc on the streets of London.
‘To stuff a dead human being and mount them on public display is either an act of veneration or of gross disrespect, depending on the deceased’s status. Lenin and Mao in glass boxes is okay, but an ordinary cadaver on public show is considered fucked up on all levels. Animals’ can be pancaked by the tyres of road vehicles, hung from a butcher shop, mashed against a wall or worn around your neck.’
Warm and Toasty – Yvvette Edwards
Was a heartwarming tale, a tale that comes full circle and was in my opinion masterfully executed by Edwards. It takes what we expect, turns it on its head and serves it to us with cream and a cherry on the top. For me this was one of the best stories in the collection.
‘The DWP. Sent me for a job at Iceland’s.’
‘Did you tell them about your sickle cell?’
‘Yep. I cant tell you how many letters my doctor’s writ. They know, they know all that and they still sent me to Iceland’s, said if I never went, they’d sanction me. So I went. Exactly what I knew would happen happened. Same night I had to call out the ambulance. They wannid to take me to hospital, but I said no. I go into hospital, Justin goes into care, and he can’t handle it. I said no and they had to give me the transfusion at home. Didn’t wanna, but I didn’t budge. Was in bed for nearly a week. And you know what they did after all that? Sanctioned me. Said I left suitable employment. Cut my benefits for six months.’
Beating the Bounds – Aki Schilz – I went to University at Thames Valley University in Ealing (it’s since been renamed – Gentrification and all that – a better name was sourced to become more appealing) and lived for a great many years in Hanwell. As this tale is based in Hanwell, it immediately made me fall in love with it, Schilz observations are astoundingly good, a keen eye and a wonderfully delivered prose makes this whimsical tale live long in the memory – its brave, bold, outlandish and daring – but most of all it is written to perfection!
‘Occasionally a boy from the White Flats gets a small ‘W7′ tattoo on his hand, on that triangle of skin between the thumb and forefinger, and slings it across the handlebars of his L-plated moped for a few weeks, but postcode pride is hardly a premium and there are no good tattoo artists here (unless you have a direct line to George Bone). Hendrix didn’t even visit, through he owned a shop here. Bastard.’
The Secret Life of Little Wormwood Scrubs – Courttia Newland – I am a huge fan of Courttia Newland, and we were also lucky enough to publish one of his stories in the Exit Earth Anthology – so I expected great things when I saw his name pop up in the contributing writers. And boy, he didn’t let me down, his story was full of racial tension and unrest – set with the backdrop of the London bombings ringing loud in peoples ears. Our main protagonist discovers a rucksack in the lead up to the London Bombings, he decides to leave it where it is. In the park. The story is laced with tension, panic and self doubt – about one mans internal struggles of not doing what was needed at a time that needed him most – a phenomenal piece of writing.
‘The days of muggings and drug taking in this park have largely passed, retained only in muscle memory by those who were there. And of course, there is the clear and present terror. He reminds himself of this as he side-steps woman and beast, keeps running. Sees the t-shirt splayed across his tomb dark duvet; DON’T PANIC, I’M ISLAMIC. His sister bought it as a joke, black too of course, but Khalil knows he won’t wear that t-shirt. He’ll never wear that t-shirt. Fucking embarrassing, what does she think he is; it wasn’t even funny.’
If you want to know a bit more about London from the people that lived there and survived to tell the tale – pick up this awesome anthology now!
This month it was the turn of the fabulous Influx Press…
As a Londoner this book jumped out at me. Plus it also features some stories from the places that I lived – they seemed to skirt away from where I grew up – Catford, Lewisham, Croydon and the God awful place of my birth the Downham Estate in South East London (I call it that South East London, many call it Kent – but we got red busses so technically it’s hanging onto London like a giant wart on its ass).
I have to say I absolutely loved the collection, such a range of voices, so many depictions of the most fabulous city in the world. The writers which Influx were able to attract to this project did a sterling job in creating tales which are true to the places and also true to Londoners – in all our various guises. It was, and is a fabulously rich collection, you’ll discover some great writers you may not have heard about and read some great stories from established writers. But having heaped so much praise on the collection – I came away from it feeling a little sad.
The writers have, in many of the stories, hit the nail on the head, detailing the sickness that is working its way across London, that sickness which goes by the name gentrification. It’s a common theme of the stories held within the book. Each time I return to my humble London roots I’m met with more coffee shops, more boutiques, more vegan eateries, more high brow shops, bigger and more outlandish Apple Stores (and I don’t mean the Greengrocer – that went when people could pick up their fruit and veg in the new ASDA – and don’t talk to me about the plight of the local butcher).
The London suburbs have a prevalent sickness (which is touched upon in these stories) that is driving the locals out, pricing them out, and making them conform to a system they didn’t ask for. The estate people I grew up with are being replaced by bankers and wankers, those that can afford to live on the commuter belt, destroying communities that have stood for years. Pricing out the locals and encouraging those that remain to step up and consume what they are being given which is mostly middle-class taste.
In Downham it was working class through and through – now you have people walking around with pug dogs and couture fashion, hipsters swanning around with no socks and cups of coffee in glass flasks. What was wrong with the kids that used to sniff glue on the corner, and the Aladdins Cave that sold everything you may ever need, and the Woolworths, and the Bingo Hall, and the dog shit and smashed in shopfronts, and the fish man that used to pop in the pub and sell his warm meats for the drunks and the desperate?
Sorry I digress. Back to An Unreliable Guide to London – it’s brilliant!
If a book can get me this fired up – then it’s sure to get other true Londoners pretty vexed too. It’s not all about gentrification, there are some witty stories, weird stories and some astounding pieces of fiction in here too – so do take a look! Some of the stories I enjoyed mostly are detailed a bit more below. I could have talked about each story in turn as they are so awesome – but given my rant above and the shear amount of quality on show, this review would be a good few thousand words…so without further delay, here were some of my favourites!
Soft on the Inside – By Noo Saro-Wiwa
I love strange, weird fiction and Soft on the Inside delivered on that front in spades! There is a taxidermy shop called ‘Get Stuffed‘ – where one fateful day someone utters an enchantment and all the stuffed creatures come alive, for a limited time only. They decide that they want to get their own back on Don Galloway a beastly gentleman who has been trading in endangered species. He sold some tiger cubs to the shop, shortly after, Get Stuffed was raided by the police and the tiger cubs were removed and buried. It falls to the least conspicuous animals to go on a mission, a mission to get their own back on Don Galloway – so ‘Terri’ the Terrier and a grey and red squirrel, head off to cause havoc on the streets of London.
‘To stuff a dead human being and mount them on public display is either an act of veneration or of gross disrespect, depending on the deceased’s status. Lenin and Mao in glass boxes is okay, but an ordinary cadaver on public show is considered fucked up on all levels. Animals’ can be pancaked by the tyres of road vehicles, hung from a butcher shop, mashed against a wall or worn around your neck.’
Warm and Toasty – Yvvette Edwards
Was a heartwarming tale, a tale that comes full circle and was in my opinion masterfully executed by Edwards. It takes what we expect, turns it on its head and serves it to us with cream and a cherry on the top. For me this was one of the best stories in the collection.
‘The DWP. Sent me for a job at Iceland’s.’
‘Did you tell them about your sickle cell?’
‘Yep. I cant tell you how many letters my doctor’s writ. They know, they know all that and they still sent me to Iceland’s, said if I never went, they’d sanction me. So I went. Exactly what I knew would happen happened. Same night I had to call out the ambulance. They wannid to take me to hospital, but I said no. I go into hospital, Justin goes into care, and he can’t handle it. I said no and they had to give me the transfusion at home. Didn’t wanna, but I didn’t budge. Was in bed for nearly a week. And you know what they did after all that? Sanctioned me. Said I left suitable employment. Cut my benefits for six months.’
Beating the Bounds – Aki Schilz – I went to University at Thames Valley University in Ealing (it’s since been renamed – Gentrification and all that – a better name was sourced to become more appealing) and lived for a great many years in Hanwell. As this tale is based in Hanwell, it immediately made me fall in love with it, Schilz observations are astoundingly good, a keen eye and a wonderfully delivered prose makes this whimsical tale live long in the memory – its brave, bold, outlandish and daring – but most of all it is written to perfection!
‘Occasionally a boy from the White Flats gets a small ‘W7′ tattoo on his hand, on that triangle of skin between the thumb and forefinger, and slings it across the handlebars of his L-plated moped for a few weeks, but postcode pride is hardly a premium and there are no good tattoo artists here (unless you have a direct line to George Bone). Hendrix didn’t even visit, through he owned a shop here. Bastard.’
The Secret Life of Little Wormwood Scrubs – Courttia Newland – I am a huge fan of Courttia Newland, and we were also lucky enough to publish one of his stories in the Exit Earth Anthology – so I expected great things when I saw his name pop up in the contributing writers. And boy, he didn’t let me down, his story was full of racial tension and unrest – set with the backdrop of the London bombings ringing loud in peoples ears. Our main protagonist discovers a rucksack in the lead up to the London Bombings, he decides to leave it where it is. In the park. The story is laced with tension, panic and self doubt – about one mans internal struggles of not doing what was needed at a time that needed him most – a phenomenal piece of writing.
‘The days of muggings and drug taking in this park have largely passed, retained only in muscle memory by those who were there. And of course, there is the clear and present terror. He reminds himself of this as he side-steps woman and beast, keeps running. Sees the t-shirt splayed across his tomb dark duvet; DON’T PANIC, I’M ISLAMIC. His sister bought it as a joke, black too of course, but Khalil knows he won’t wear that t-shirt. He’ll never wear that t-shirt. Fucking embarrassing, what does she think he is; it wasn’t even funny.’
If you want to know a bit more about London from the people that lived there and survived to tell the tale – pick up this awesome anthology now!
March 4, 2018
With 23 short stories from 23 different authors, this was always going to be a hit and miss collection. There's some exceptional writing here though.
The collection is divided up into four parts - West, North, South, East - with each story offering a different view of a part of the city of London. Some of them perhaps work better if you know the area that's being written about...
The highlights for me were:
- In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait by Eley Williams, a glorious tale of a man's pursuit of a mythical swan;
- Thy Kingdom Come by Koye Oyedeji, about the fluidity of stories and their acquisition by others;
- Warm and Toasty by yvette Edwards, a beautifully heartwarming tale, amidst much of the bleakness that abounds within the rest of the anthology;
- There is Something Very Wrong with Leyton Mills Retail Park by Gareth E Rees, which pokes large retail areas, and the disconnection of the surrounding populace, with a sharp stick.
Very few of the stories left me disappointed, though a few (such as Mother Black Cap's Revenge) banged an ideological drum a little hard. There were really only two efforts that left me cold - Soft on the Inside by Noo Saro-Wiwa (about stuffed animals coming to life, which entirely failed to grab me) and Filamo by Irenosen Okojie (which was impenetrable, and seemed out of place within the rest of the collection).
One gripe is with the editing. In too many stories, there are words missing from sentences. Even in the Table of Contents, there's a typo in the name of the second story.
That aside, this is a fun, often thought-provoking collection. Definitely worth a read!
The collection is divided up into four parts - West, North, South, East - with each story offering a different view of a part of the city of London. Some of them perhaps work better if you know the area that's being written about...
The highlights for me were:
- In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait by Eley Williams, a glorious tale of a man's pursuit of a mythical swan;
- Thy Kingdom Come by Koye Oyedeji, about the fluidity of stories and their acquisition by others;
- Warm and Toasty by yvette Edwards, a beautifully heartwarming tale, amidst much of the bleakness that abounds within the rest of the anthology;
- There is Something Very Wrong with Leyton Mills Retail Park by Gareth E Rees, which pokes large retail areas, and the disconnection of the surrounding populace, with a sharp stick.
Very few of the stories left me disappointed, though a few (such as Mother Black Cap's Revenge) banged an ideological drum a little hard. There were really only two efforts that left me cold - Soft on the Inside by Noo Saro-Wiwa (about stuffed animals coming to life, which entirely failed to grab me) and Filamo by Irenosen Okojie (which was impenetrable, and seemed out of place within the rest of the collection).
One gripe is with the editing. In too many stories, there are words missing from sentences. Even in the Table of Contents, there's a typo in the name of the second story.
That aside, this is a fun, often thought-provoking collection. Definitely worth a read!
March 18, 2019
Like almost any short story compilation, there are hits and misses, but in general there is enough variety for everyone to find at least a few stories to love.
March 20, 2019
Very weird book. Fiction, short stories.
May 1, 2019
Very much enjoyed having some of my geographic points tickled
May 29, 2020
Bit of a mixture, some very good and some ??
September 4, 2016
The flavor of a city is the combination of its neighborhoods and all the stories of the people contained within. This off-kilter collection of tales and vignettes highlights many of the peripheral neighborhoods of London. Some stories are fantastical and absurdist, while others present a realistic take on a narrower London experience. Above all, the tales show a wonderful diversity of voice doing much justice to the multi-cultural and international megalopolis that is London.
My absolute favorite tale, which I rated 5-stars, was the profoundly moving "Warm and Toasty" by Yvette Edwards. It's a tale of hope and humanity with an eye on London's ethnic history.
I've reviewed all of the component tales of the anthology. The rest are:
F., George--"Mother Black Cap's Revenge"--4 stars
Newland, Courttia--"The Secret Life of Little Wormwood Scrubs"--4 stars
Shukla, Nikesh--"Tayyabs"--4 stars
Singh, Sunny--"In the Vauxhall Pleasure Garden"--4 stars
Thompson, Stephen--"The Arches"--4 stars
Budden, Gary--"Staples Corner"--3 stars
Burrows, Tim--"Broadgate"--3 stars
Caless, Kit--"Market Forces"--3 stars
Godden, Salena--"The Camden Blood Thieves"--3 stars
Jacques, Juliet--"Corridors of Power"--3 stars
Oyedeji, Koye--"Thy Kingdom Come"--3 stars
Rees, Gareth E.--"There is Something Very Wrong with Leyton Mills Retail Park"--3 stars
Schilz, Aki--"Beating the Bounds"--3 stars
Victoire, Stephanie--"Nightingale Lane"--3 stars
Williams, Eley--"In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait"--3 stars
Aridjis, Chloe--"N1, Centre of Illusion"--2 stars
Ewen, Paul--"Rose's, Woolrich"--2 stars
Harrison, M. John--"Babies From Sand"--2 stars
Okojie, Irenosen--"Filamo"--2 stars
Wells, Tim--"Heavy Manners"--2 stars
Wiles, Will--"Notes on London's Housing Crisis"--2 stars
Saro-Wiwa, Noo--"Soft on the Inside"--1 star
I received this anthology directly from Influx Press editor and contributing author, Gary Budden.
My absolute favorite tale, which I rated 5-stars, was the profoundly moving "Warm and Toasty" by Yvette Edwards. It's a tale of hope and humanity with an eye on London's ethnic history.
I've reviewed all of the component tales of the anthology. The rest are:
F., George--"Mother Black Cap's Revenge"--4 stars
Newland, Courttia--"The Secret Life of Little Wormwood Scrubs"--4 stars
Shukla, Nikesh--"Tayyabs"--4 stars
Singh, Sunny--"In the Vauxhall Pleasure Garden"--4 stars
Thompson, Stephen--"The Arches"--4 stars
Budden, Gary--"Staples Corner"--3 stars
Burrows, Tim--"Broadgate"--3 stars
Caless, Kit--"Market Forces"--3 stars
Godden, Salena--"The Camden Blood Thieves"--3 stars
Jacques, Juliet--"Corridors of Power"--3 stars
Oyedeji, Koye--"Thy Kingdom Come"--3 stars
Rees, Gareth E.--"There is Something Very Wrong with Leyton Mills Retail Park"--3 stars
Schilz, Aki--"Beating the Bounds"--3 stars
Victoire, Stephanie--"Nightingale Lane"--3 stars
Williams, Eley--"In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait"--3 stars
Aridjis, Chloe--"N1, Centre of Illusion"--2 stars
Ewen, Paul--"Rose's, Woolrich"--2 stars
Harrison, M. John--"Babies From Sand"--2 stars
Okojie, Irenosen--"Filamo"--2 stars
Wells, Tim--"Heavy Manners"--2 stars
Wiles, Will--"Notes on London's Housing Crisis"--2 stars
Saro-Wiwa, Noo--"Soft on the Inside"--1 star
I received this anthology directly from Influx Press editor and contributing author, Gary Budden.
Read
January 4, 2017If you ever thought of London as one sprawling city, Influx Press’s Unreliable Guide will disabuse you.
Each one of these stories in set in a specific area of London. Taken together, they create the impression, not of an undifferentiated metropolis but a patchwork of neighbourhoods, each with its own character, instantly recognisable to those who come from its streets.
The authors have found different ways to play with the notion of an ‘unreliable guide.’ Some seek to capture the essence of place as known only to its residents. Others, like Eley Willams’ ‘In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait' – which might have been written by a 21st Century incarnation of Jerome K Jerome – tease us with the notion of what is real and what is not.
Still others depart from reality altogether. Will Wiles’s ‘Notes on the London Housing Crisis’ is an alt-hist vision of how London could have been. Noo Saro-Wiwa’s’s ‘Soft on the Inside’ is reminiscent of Andre Alexis’s Giller Prize-winning apologue, Fifteen Dogs, while Irenosen Okojie plunges us into a vision that marries Hieronymous Bosch with Salvador Dali.
Memories play an important role. Stephanie Victoire’s ‘Nightingale Lane’ distils Clapham South from recollections of an old soldier from Mauritius. Tim Wells’ ‘Heavy Manners’ captures Dalston through the record shops of his youth. The narrator of Koye Oyedeji’s ‘Thy Kingdom Come’ challenges the version of their personal history spun by his now-famous boyhood friend.
Others brush up against contemporary news. In Courttia Newlands’ ‘The Secret Life of Little Wormwood Scrubs’, a young jogger runs past an object that the next day will make the headlines. George F’s ‘Mother Blackcap’s Revenge’ describes a glorious fightback by the LGBT community against the gentrification of Camden.
Nor does the anthology ignore London’s less romantic corners – stories are spun from the unlikely locations of PC World at Staples Corner and the car park at Leyton Mills Retail Park.
Two of my favourites – Stephen Thompson’s ‘The Arches’ and Yvvette Edwards’ ‘Warm and Toastie’ – disclose hidden acts of practical kindness that belie the notion that London is a city of unfeeling anonymity.
At the end of the book, each author recommends three of their own favourite London reads – a further treasure trove of writing to delve into if you want to explore London through its stories.
This anthology may be, as the cover insists, "Bad Advice. Limited Scope. No Practical Use." But it reveals London as lived, loved and (sometimes) loathed by Londoners themselves.
Each one of these stories in set in a specific area of London. Taken together, they create the impression, not of an undifferentiated metropolis but a patchwork of neighbourhoods, each with its own character, instantly recognisable to those who come from its streets.
The authors have found different ways to play with the notion of an ‘unreliable guide.’ Some seek to capture the essence of place as known only to its residents. Others, like Eley Willams’ ‘In Pursuit of the Swan at Brentford Ait' – which might have been written by a 21st Century incarnation of Jerome K Jerome – tease us with the notion of what is real and what is not.
Still others depart from reality altogether. Will Wiles’s ‘Notes on the London Housing Crisis’ is an alt-hist vision of how London could have been. Noo Saro-Wiwa’s’s ‘Soft on the Inside’ is reminiscent of Andre Alexis’s Giller Prize-winning apologue, Fifteen Dogs, while Irenosen Okojie plunges us into a vision that marries Hieronymous Bosch with Salvador Dali.
Memories play an important role. Stephanie Victoire’s ‘Nightingale Lane’ distils Clapham South from recollections of an old soldier from Mauritius. Tim Wells’ ‘Heavy Manners’ captures Dalston through the record shops of his youth. The narrator of Koye Oyedeji’s ‘Thy Kingdom Come’ challenges the version of their personal history spun by his now-famous boyhood friend.
Others brush up against contemporary news. In Courttia Newlands’ ‘The Secret Life of Little Wormwood Scrubs’, a young jogger runs past an object that the next day will make the headlines. George F’s ‘Mother Blackcap’s Revenge’ describes a glorious fightback by the LGBT community against the gentrification of Camden.
Nor does the anthology ignore London’s less romantic corners – stories are spun from the unlikely locations of PC World at Staples Corner and the car park at Leyton Mills Retail Park.
Two of my favourites – Stephen Thompson’s ‘The Arches’ and Yvvette Edwards’ ‘Warm and Toastie’ – disclose hidden acts of practical kindness that belie the notion that London is a city of unfeeling anonymity.
At the end of the book, each author recommends three of their own favourite London reads – a further treasure trove of writing to delve into if you want to explore London through its stories.
This anthology may be, as the cover insists, "Bad Advice. Limited Scope. No Practical Use." But it reveals London as lived, loved and (sometimes) loathed by Londoners themselves.
November 3, 2016
Got this (and helped financing the first imprint) mainly because it features a new and original story by M. John Harrison ("Babies from Sand") - which, unsurprisingly, turns out to be the highlight of the book. All in all, this is a motley mix of fact and fiction inspired by one of my favourite cities, and it features everything from psychogeography via urban legend and cryptozoology all the way to surprising and accidental (and thankfully largely illusory) horror. The queer anarchist tale of "Mother Black Cap's Revenge" by George F. stands out for its energy, and I creepily enjoyed Salena Godden's "The Camden Blood Thieves" and a political joke that never gets old in "Corridors of Power" by Juliet Jacques. On the other hand, some of the other stories were just a little bland or escapist or, in the case of "Filamo" by Irenosen Okojie, just stylistically really bad (and content-wise very random and more suited for a Vandermeer anthology than this book). I'll still recommend it, mainly for the MJH, but also because it offers a wide variety of styles and perspectives from an interesting and varied selection of writers from all kinds of backgrounds (from London-based PoC to highly political voluntary squatters), so I guess it's got something for everyone.
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