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Not If I See You First

Eric Lindstrom (Goodreads Author)

3.92 · Rating details · 8,114 ratings · 1,430 reviews

The sensational debut YA of 2016 that everyone will be talking about.

Parker Grant doesn't need perfect vision to see right through you. That's why she created the Rules: Don't treat her any differently just because she's blind, and never take advantage. There will be no second chances.

When Scott Kilpatrick, the boy who broke her heart, suddenly reappears at school, Parker ...more

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Hardcover, 416 pages

Published December 31st 2015 by HarperCollins Children’s Books (first published December 1st 2015)

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Jan 09, 2016 Emily May rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, 2016, contemporary

Have you ever read a book and not realised you were expecting it to be bad until it’s actually pretty good and you’re surprised? That’s how I felt about this.

There's been a lot of hype and starred reviews for Not If I See You First, but I think I had it in the back of my mind that it would be yet another The Fault in Our Stars-style book. I was subconsciously predicting that this would be to blindness what TFiOS was to cancer and All the Bright Places was to suicide. A contrived, forcefully-phil ...more

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Mar 20, 2017 Emma Giordano rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I really enjoyed this read. It had a nice balance of light-heartedness and intensity. I had never read a novel with a blind protagonist before, but I believe it was a perfect introduction.

Parker is a badass. An absolute badass. Her narration was the highlight of the story. I just loved how unapologetically herself she is. I also loved watching her grow and heal after her father's death. It was a unique and complex journey and I feel it was executed well. I obviously cannot speak for the blind re I really enjoyed this read. It had a nice balance of light-heartedness and intensity. I had never read a novel with a blind protagonist before, but I believe it was a perfect introduction.

Parker is a badass. An absolute badass. Her narration was the highlight of the story. I just loved how unapologetically herself she is. I also loved watching her grow and heal after her father's death. It was a unique and complex journey and I feel it was executed well. I obviously cannot speak for the blind representation, but it's clear the author did extensive research by interacting with the blind community & working with professionals. I am definitely pleased that Parker's blindness is never viewed as something that prevents her from living to the fullest. If anything, she weighs the hardships she experiences AND the advantages she has found fairly equally. She felt like a whole, complete character and I just loved her so much.

Overall I enjoyed my time reading this story. I sped through it and ultimately had a good time, but there were pieces that were somewhat disappointing. Firstly, this book had been sold to me as "blind girl joins her school track team" which is what really drew me to the story. Unfortunately, the running/track team parts of the story are really only prominent in the beginning and the end of the story. The middle is mostly about Parker coping with her father's death and dealing with the return of an ex who betrayed her in the past. I was really looking forward to Parker training, competing at meets, but it really was not as significant as I was expecting.

Additionally, Scott, Parker's ex, was a really underdeveloped character in my opinion. We essentially only learn about him through hearsay, he doesn't play an active role in the story until the very end despite being a large part of the story. I just couldn't care about him because I don't feel like I really knew him. I knew Parker was hurt by him but still felt some attachment to him, but he fell very flat for me. It made the book a little more underwhelming because so much of it was focused on Parker and Scott, even though Scott was a very minimal character in my opinion. I definitely am already suffering from the disappointment of there not being as much track running as I wanted, but the bulk of the story that replaced the expected-track parts wasn't as engaging.

All in all, this was a nice read. I have my personal critiques, but when I think of Not If I See You First, I'm going to think of how much I enjoyed my time reading it. ...more

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Jun 14, 2015 Kelly (and the Book Boar) rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2015, pretty-on-the-outside, arcs

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

I’m always on the lookout for YA books with a fresh approach. When Not If I See You First popped up, I thought maybe it would be something special. I appreciated that the blurb clearly pointed out there was potential for some romance in the storyline, and the double-bonus was it was clear that Parker would be going through some grown-up stuff – mainly the fact that her father just died and that she is blind. Sadly, this book ended up b ...more

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Jul 12, 2015 Taylor Knight rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: best-books-i-read-in-2015, arcs, favorites

I'm so pleasantly surprised by this book! I wasn't sure what to expect when I started it but Not If I See You First is definitely one of my favorite of 2015!
I love the writing of this book. It's written really realistically. The dialogue and characters are very real and honest.
I liked Parker a lot. She wasn't always likable but it was realistic. She had her ups and downs but who doesn't?
I just loved reading about her. And her character development was great. It was a little rushed at on point ...more

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Aug 17, 2018 emma rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, ya, reviewed, unpopular-opinion, diverse, eh, 1-and-a-half-stars

wowow i read a whole ass book and i didn't even update it on goodreads...i totally forgot. when has that EVER happened??? who even am i?? i don't know myself.

reading this was an extremely odd experience, and actually i'm just going to link to Cait @ Paper Fury's review b/c it is perfect and completely covers my thoughts and then i'll just rehash some of them here i guess for the sake of "actually writing a review, kind of." or whatever.

but really, again - you should just read Cait's.

so Not If I ...more

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Jan 14, 2016 Sarah Elizabeth rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley-edelweiss, love-triangle, r2r-complete, read-with-abbie, read-2016, romance, contemporary, young-adult, death

(Source: I received a digital copy of this book for free on a read-to-review basis. Thanks to HarperCollins UK, Children's and NetGalley.)

Rule #8: Don’t treat me like I’m stupid or a child. Blind doesn’t mean brain damaged.

This was a YA story about a blind girl, with a dash of romance.

Parker was quite a prickly person really, and her rules were pretty unforgiving – no second chances with this girl (because obviously she never makes mistakes). I actually felt quite sorry for her friends and famil ...more

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Apr 14, 2019 Aj the Ravenous Reader rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, physically-owned-books, young-adult

If there’s anyone who has the right to be a snobbish, self-centered bitch, it’s Parker Grant and true to her form, she was very consistent to the title up to about 75% mark of the book and I honestly respect her for it. Her mom got herself and seven-year old Parker in a fatal accident causing the then little girl not only the loss of her eyesight but a mother as well. I doubt anyone will be sweet as an angel after that.

Ever since, she has been surviving and coping, living her life as perfectly ...more

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Feb 19, 2018 Kate (GirlReading) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, young-adult

3.75* Not If I See You First was funny, adorable and heartbreaking, whilst also being continuously informative and enlightening to someone who hasn't experienced being blind, nor read a book with a blind protagonist (which is something I definitely need to read more of!) I really enjoyed Parker as a character, she was a tough, honest, witty teenage with flaws. Yes, my heart broke for her, due to everything she'd had to deal with, but it also cheered her on. She was definitely frustrating at time ...more

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May 25, 2017 Aditi rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: my-reviews, friends, family, contemporary-romance, harper-collins, ya

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

----Maya Angelou

Eric Lindstrom, an American author, has penned a terrific debut young adult contemporary fiction called, Not If I See You First that revolves around a blind teenage girl, who recently lost her father and since then she hasn't cried at all, and she loves to play by her strict rule book, and if anyone breaks those rules, then there is no second chance for that person, but lately, this girl is finding it r ...more

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Jan 15, 2016 Cody rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Not If I See You First was an exceptional debut that managed to captivate me from page 1 and not let go until long after reading. Lindstrom creates a MC that refuses to let her lack of sight get in her way, she’s downright ferocious at times. Parker is strong, funny, and sarcastic, she wants to be treated like any other teenager. This book will make you laugh, cry; both with joy and sadness and more profoundly change your outlook on life, I can’t think of a better way to start your 2016 than wit Not If I See You First was an exceptional debut that managed to captivate me from page 1 and not let go until long after reading. Lindstrom creates a MC that refuses to let her lack of sight get in her way, she’s downright ferocious at times. Parker is strong, funny, and sarcastic, she wants to be treated like any other teenager. This book will make you laugh, cry; both with joy and sadness and more profoundly change your outlook on life, I can’t think of a better way to start your 2016 than with this heartwarming book.

Parker was in a car accident at age 7 in which Parker lost her mother and her sight. Parker’s life has been difficult ever since but she refuses to let her lack of sight hold her back, she still attends school, hangs out with her friends and even going on daily morning runs. What really rocks Parker’s world is losing her father, as a result her auntie and cousins have come to live with Parker so she can stay in her home and school, an environment that she is already familiar with. Adding to Parker’s traumatic few months, she soon discovers that Scott, her former best childhood best friend and boyfriend, who betrayed Parker so deeply years ago, is now in her high school.

Parker is fantastic, she’s just so inspirational and not because she’s blind or considered disabled and you feel sorry for her, nope none of that bullshit, because of her no nonsense attitude is freaking infectious, she’s a thorny rose and I absolutely adore her and what’s more is that she’s a little bit of a mess and selfish and inconsiderate at times; in short, she’s no perfect princess and hallelujah for that! More main character’s like Parker and her relationship’s with her friends are what we need more of in YA books and of course it’s terrific that we get to read about character’s with disabilities but to write it well is another thing, Lindstrom’s writing was so emotional and wonderful allowing you to experience everything Parker goes through.

The romance was my favorite; oh there aren’t enough words to express how much I enjoyed it! I understood both characters, I understood their worries and concerns and was able to be on both sides at the same time, but I also see why each held on to their past mistakes but watching them break away from that was so heartwarming and uplifting; Parker and Scott’s bond is truly one of a kind.

Overall Not If I See You First was an emotionally charged debut that will take you on a roller-coaster of emotions and soon enough you won’t want it to end. I was so sad to say goodbye to Parker, her character development was so fantastic but I look forward to more of Lindstrom’s work. I highly recommend this to literally everyone, go read it!

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Oct 26, 2016 Odette Brethouwer rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: 2017

Before I started this book, I was doubting my love for YA, because I'd read some predictable books. But this book made me fall in love all over again with YA. This is a perfect contemporary, and I love it to pieces.

I understand why people want to underline things in books, but I'm glad I did not started it, because at one point I would have had three completely marked pages.

I'm almost sad I got this book from the library and I did not buy it.

I recommend this if you like a diversity, out of yo ...more

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May 29, 2015 Jen Ryland added it · review of another edition

Shelves: wtf-ending, bea-2015

Okay, I loved 99 percent of this book. I love prickly, super-snarky characters and if anyone deserves to be snarky, it's Parker. She's got a pretty tough life and she uses her snark as a defense mechanism to keep others at a distance.

So if you don't like snarky characters, rest assured that Parker does experience some character growth. However, given that character arc (which is also linked to the romance) I found the ending pretty unsatisfying. I'm not that reader who insists on a HEA - I don't ...more

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Apr 19, 2019 Susan's Reviews rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: current-favourites, all-time-favourites-for-shelf, all-my-favorites, id-read-anyything-by-this-author

Parker is blind, but she doesn't want special treatment. She has RULES, and if you break any of them, you will feel the sharp bite of her tongue like a lash. Parker is difficult to love as a character at first, but the author does an excellent job at character development, and towards the end of the novel you are cheering for her, both on and off the high school track field. Parker's father recently died, and she is repressing all of her dark emotions. But when her first and only love, Scott, is ...more

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May 03, 2015 Kitty rated it it was ok · review of another edition

You know what the most frustrating part about this whole novel is? You can tell the author was totally writing it to Make a Point. Recently there has been, deservedly, quite a bit of side-glances thrown at YA romances. I think it's because, for the most part, it seems like editors and writers both can't seem to fathom a YA book about, oh, let's say cancer, or record collecting, or a crazy road trip, or going to the prom, that DOESN'T involve a romance. Like, I get that love is a huge thing in most peoples lives, but let's face it - it is really, really hard to write a good, convincing love story. So what we end up with most of the time are these completely unbelievable romances that take up a lot of unnecessary space in the story.

What I'm saying is I get Eric Lindstom's frustration. I do.

But I can't get over how he comes into his own story, wagging his finger, proving just how REALISTIC this ending is supposed to be. I pictured him again and again as I was reading sitting at his computer and thinking, see teenage girls? SEEEEEE??? Look how much better my book is because it won't give you that saccharine sweet junk those less superior YA novels peddle. No! What you want is a book that shows teenage girls just what they get by being the selfish little whiny things they are!

And if we're going to be perfectly honest, didn't we bring Eric Lindstrom down upon ourselves? I admit, I've been one of the unruly mob members, shaking by pitchfork, chanting BETTER ROMANCES BETTER ROMANCES with the rest of them. But this just feels ... heavy handed?

And then the hanging and emotionally unresolved plot points! Like for every high moment this book handed out, it had an equally unappetizing, half congealed one waiting for me to bite into. Like, YAY! She's making an emotional connection, oh no now we have to deal with this half hearted wrap up to this other thing. Gah! The most frustrating part about this is that Lindstrom fell into his own trap! How much better would this book have been if it were JUST about father/daughter bonds instead of teen love ones?

Over all I give it a very half hearted 2.5 stars. ...more

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Aug 27, 2015 Figgy rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: one-hundred-percent-rock-reviews, review-copy, favourites, reviewed, arc-or-netgalley, favourites-2016, publisher-harper-collins, 2016-jan-april

LINK UPDATED

Actual rating 4.25

I know it was an accident. Oxycodone for your back, then some more when it didn’t work along with some ibuprofen for swelling, plus some Xanax, and then a couple beers that made you forget you already took them and you took more, and extra Xanax because you were having a bad week, all adding up to stop your breathing sometime between one and three in the morning. I know you wouldn’t have left me here alone on purpose, no matter what the cops or the insurance peop

LINK UPDATED

Actual rating 4.25

I know it was an accident. Oxycodone for your back, then some more when it didn’t work along with some ibuprofen for swelling, plus some Xanax, and then a couple beers that made you forget you already took them and you took more, and extra Xanax because you were having a bad week, all adding up to stop your breathing sometime between one and three in the morning. I know you wouldn’t have left me here alone on purpose, no matter what the cops or the insurance people or my closest relatives say. I know it.

Three months ago, Parker Grant’s father died and she’s having a bit of a rough time without him, but she’s putting on a brave face. And there’s a lot to keep her distracted.

Aunt Celia, Uncle Sam, and cousins Sheila and Petey have moved into Parker’s house to save her from having to move and change school on top of everything else.

I’d caused a minor uproar when they first moved in because after I cut my food I don’t switch my fork to my right hand for each bite. This is a concept that (1) had never occurred to me, (2) is common etiquette supposedly, at least among people who still obsess about things like this, and (3) is something that I find utterly bizarre.

The other school in town has been shut down, so there’s an influx of new kids to educate in the rules according to Parker, and her ex-best friend turned lifelong enemy is among them.

I usually wear a frayed army jacket, arms torn off, covered with buttons that friends bought or made over the years. Slogans like Yes, I’m blind, get over it! and Blind, not deaf, not stupid! and my personal favorite, Parker Grant doesn’t need eyes to see through you! Aunt Celia talked me out of it this morning, saying it would overwhelm all the people from Jefferson who don’t know me. She’s wrong, it turns out. They need to be overwhelmed.

And she’s met a new boy.

“You’re admitting to being at a loss for words? Careful, I don’t think I can handle my world turning upside down twice in one conversation.”
I take another breath. “All I can say is, he knew how to talk to a blind girl.”
“Damn, girl, that’s all you needed to say.”

The rest of this review can be found HERE! ...more

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Apr 18, 2016 CW (The Quiet Pond) ✨ rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2016-favourites, contemporary, 2016, young-adult, has-disabilities-rep, diverse-shelf, realistic-fiction

This book is not about blindness. This book is about a girl who is blind.

Though the differences between the two above may seem minute, it is an important distinction to make. If you approach this book with the former, you will probably be disappointed. Conversely, if you approach this book with the latter, you may enjoy it as much as I did.

Not If I See You First is as surprisingly delightful debut. A largely character-driven book, it offers layers and layers of character development that pairs a ...more

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Oct 09, 2017 Jen rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley, didn-t-finish

Now, let me explain the only 3 stars for my review.

This book was well written, the characters were real, the time and place were drawn well and, though I am not blind so I am not sure how someone who does not see would feel, I think the MC being blind and how she dealt with it was realistically done.

The part that made this only three stars and toss the book down about a third of the way in? The teenage drama. Blind teens have the same drama as those with sight. They aren't any different from an ...more

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Jan 16, 2016 Maddie rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: arcs, stand-alones

This was definitely a fun read because of its concept. I've always wondered about the logistics of being blind and it was great to explore in this book and gain some empathy, even if the main character was overly whine-y. Cute but unsatisfying romance too. ...more

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Sep 13, 2015 Shae McDaniel rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: epic-friendship, young-adult, contemporary, book-boyfriend, ouch-my-feels, read-2015, own

You know that one GIF of Emma Stone crying and taking a photo with a camera? That's me right now. This book is so beautifully, mind-blowingly perfect, I don't know how I'm functioning. And yes, this is Shae saying these things about a contemporary. I know, apocalypse is nigh, right?

THINGS I LIKED:

-Parker. PARKERRRRRRRRRRRR. Parker is awesome. I loved so many things about Parker. I loved that she very firmly did NOT fall into the "sainted disabled person" trap. I love that she's blunt and sarcast ...more

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May 25, 2015 Imillar rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: ya

Parker Grant may be blind, but she's the girl we would all liked to have been in high school: cool, smart, outwardly fearless and with a bullshit detector that she wields like the weapon it is. She's got the usual teen problems around boys, and a great group of friends, as well as some pretty entertaining frenemies. But what really makes this book terrific is her determination, in a completely unsentimental way, to not let her blindness interfere with her life. This comes across as part of her i ...more

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Jan 14, 2017 Aimal (Bookshelves & Paperbacks) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: disability, 2017, 4-stars, young-adult, contemporary, cover-love

Parker lost her sight in a car accident that killed her mother when she was young. Since then, her father was her everything. They had a close-knit relationship, and he was her best friend. But three months before the novel takes place, Parker’s dad died of an overdose on anti-depressants. She had no idea he was even on them. Now living in her dad’s house with her aunt and her aunt’s family, Parker hasn’t cried ever since the day he died. Not even once. And Parker shrouds herself in a thick armo Parker lost her sight in a car accident that killed her mother when she was young. Since then, her father was her everything. They had a close-knit relationship, and he was her best friend. But three months before the novel takes place, Parker’s dad died of an overdose on anti-depressants. She had no idea he was even on them. Now living in her dad’s house with her aunt and her aunt’s family, Parker hasn’t cried ever since the day he died. Not even once. And Parker shrouds herself in a thick armor. She doesn’t need vision to see through your bullshit; she has a list of rules that you cannot break. Fool her once, and you won’t get a second chance. She’s created a balance for herself, but that balance is thrown off kilter when Scott Kilpatrick – her bestfriend turned boyfriend when she was thirteen – shows up at her high school.

Not If I See You First is shelved under romance on Goodreads, but that’s a straight-up lie. This is not a romance book. It is a book about one girl’s struggle with her unwillingness to feel grief, her life after the demise of her parents, her struggles with letting people in without treating them like crap. This is a story about Parker’s growth, her development from a closed-off, bitter young woman to who she is at the end of the novel. Romance plays a role, but this is not a book with a romance between Parker and Scott, or Parker and some other love interest. It’s a ‘romance’ between Parker and her girl friendships, between Parker and her new family, between Parker and herself. Don’t go into this expecting a romance, because you won’t get it.

And in many ways, that’s the strongest feat of the novel. Lindstrom seems to have a set plan in mind from the get-go. Parker is the main character, and the rest is background noise. Anything not revolving around our protagonist is given little to no thought, and usually that’s a bother for someone like me who prefers ‘wholesome’ contemporaries, but not this one (not that this book isn’t wholesome because it really is). Because Parker’s strength as a character is such a powerful force that you begin to see everything through her eyes. You feel her anger, her frustration, the private moments of grief that she allows herself to feel. She feels like an actual person, and when you turn the last page, you feel a sense of loss because you got to know her. You got to be with her, and despite her severe flaws, despite her vices, you grow to love Parker. Like a sister, like a friend, like someone you can look up to.

I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t wary in the beginning of the book. Parker’s such a sarcastic, sharp-tongued, quippy, bitter person that you ask yourself, “Do I want to read a book where the main character, who is blind, is so bitter?” I was under the misconception that Parker was so closed-off because she’d lost her sight, but as the novel progresses, as things begin to unfold and fall into place, it becomes apparent that this was never a book about Parker being blind or her struggles. She does struggle, but she also doesn’t let her disability dictate what she can do. She’s a runner, she’s a good student, she’s completely independent. And this is something a lot of authors can learn from – Lindstrom doesn’t share Parker’s disability, so a story about her disability and her struggles is not a story for him to write. But he can write about grief. Parker’s short-temper and frustration is a by-product of her forbidding herself to feel, because she believes that to feel is to be weak. This story is about grief and loss, and most of all, friendship.

It’s unfortunate that so few YA books that I’ve read emphasize the importance of friendship. They usually go something like – boy meets girl, one of them is going through crap, they fall in love and learn to cope. Which is fine, but how about friendship? This novel puts friendship to the forefront. Parker would never learn from her mistakes if she didn’t let her friends in. She would completely break down in her home environment if she didn’t start communicating with her aunt and cousin. Even with regards to Scott, most of the book looks at him through the lens of best friend rather than ex-boyfriend. He understood Parker, he helped her without ever making her realize that she was being helped, and she misses him because he was her best friend, not because they share some great kisses. Friendship. Parker and friendship – that’s what this book is about.

But despite all my praise, this isn’t a perfect book by any means. Because romance felt like such an insignificant part of the story, I wasn’t fully invested in the other love interest introduced. I would have loved more closure with regards to Parker’s home life, because despite being the most interesting aspect of the narrative for me, it was largely skimmed over – some parts left abandoned – at the end. But despite these minor issues, Not If I See You First is an incredible, beautifully written story that I won’t forget for a long, long time.

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Jan 21, 2018 Alaina rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: fiction, young-adult, chick-lit, january-challenge-2018, contemporary

I FREAKING LOVE PARKER SO FREAKING MUCH!

Her character was everything plus having a blind MC was refreshing! I totally want to be her best friend after reading this book - well actually, while reading this book. Either way I want her for a best friend because I loved everything about her character.

Then there's Hazel, who I loved but I felt so bad because her parents were embarrassed when people asked what her oxygen mask was for. Like why the hell are acting embarrassed?!? They don't have to wear ...more

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Oct 25, 2018 Kaila rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2018

3/5 stars

I really had no idea what to expect from this book, but I’ve come out really pleasantly surprised. There were really some things that I absolutely loved and some things that weren’t my favourite. I really enjoyed the exploring Parker’s relationships with her friends, and to be honest, that was probably my favourite aspect of the book altogether. This is also the first book that I’ve read from the perspective of someone that’s blind. I found it both interesting and eye-opening to read fr 3/5 stars

I really had no idea what to expect from this book, but I’ve come out really pleasantly surprised. There were really some things that I absolutely loved and some things that weren’t my favourite. I really enjoyed the exploring Parker’s relationships with her friends, and to be honest, that was probably my favourite aspect of the book altogether. This is also the first book that I’ve read from the perspective of someone that’s blind. I found it both interesting and eye-opening to read from such a different perspective than I’m used to and realising all the false stereotypes that I held about blind people before reading this book. It was just a really fast, enjoyable read that also had some meaningful moments in the mix. Equally, i found myself smiling at Parker’s antics but also sometimes being unbelievably frustrated at her. In the end though, I did find myself rooting for her more and more.

Parker Grant is really sick of people’s bullshit. She may be blind, but she isn’t dumb and she will but tolerate when people treat her as if she is. In order to ensure she is treated how she wants to be, she created a set of rules for people to follow. Breaking these rules are unforgivable, there are no second chances. Scott Kilpatrick, Parker’s boyfriend from middle school, learnt this the hard way, as Parker still hasn’t forgiven him for events years past and never plans to. When Scott suddenly re-enters Parker’s life, Parker starts to question the rules she’s crafted regarding those around her. Are all people that break the rules stupid or unforgivable? Perhaps overcoming the past is more important than following the rules, especially regarding people Patrick loves.

This is the first book that I’ve read from a blind person, especially a blind teenager. I found this to be a really interesting and unique perspective to read from, especially since I haven’t read anything like this before. Of course, I really don’t have the place to say whether this is an accurate portrayal or not, but I did really enjoy the discussion of the inherent ignorance and ableist ideology that people hold. It also made me question my perceptions regarding blind people and how I could treat people that are blind better. This is one thing I really love about books like this because they really open my eyes about experiences that I would never know by myself. I especially enjoyed how Parker had so many other personality traits and problems that are independent to her blindness. Just because she is blind, that doesn’t define her personality, which I think is really important to note.

There were also a couple of things that I didn’t so much like about this book. For one, there were times that I really didn’t like Parker. She was extremely selfish and unforgiving, which are both traits that I really don’t like. She was hard to empathise with because of my dislike for her, so large proportions of the book I didn’t like the perspective. I do admit, she gets so much better as the book progressed, which I think is a major driving theme behind the novel. I don’t know this for sure, but I think we might not be meant to really like Parker at the beginning of the novel, or at the very least were meant to notice her flaws. Even so, the development of her character was very predictable and the themes of the book were really not groundbreaking at all. I expected what was going to happen, which isn’t so bad but it just didn’t take me by surprise.

I also didn’t like the romance, which is a shocker for sure. I normally completely love the romance more than anything, but that was certainly not the case for this book. I thought it was irrelevant to the story and the motivations behind the romance didn’t make sense to me. The whole plot was driven by a relationship that occurred in middle school, which I didn’t really get. I’m sorry if I’m a cynic, but I find it hard to believe that a middle school romance has such a lasting impact on people’s lives. This meant I really didn’t believe in the romance and couldn’t feel much of a connection between the characters. I do admit, there were certainly some cute scenes that I thought were undeniably sweet. I guess that’s just the hopeless romantic in me.

I did overall enjoy the story, especially with Parker’s relationship with her friends. I’d definitely say that the friendship elements are my favourite aspect of the story. I thought they had such a fun relationship, full of inside jokes and easy banter. I found myself smiling at a lot of the scenes with Parker just being uniquely herself and her friends following suit. There was drama, sad moments and downright heartwarming scenes, and I found it all to be very entertaining and fulfilling.
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Apr 09, 2016 Jeann (Happy Indulgence) rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: ya-contemporary, to-review, young-adult, harper-collins-australia

I really couldn't connect to Parker, who was prickly and rude. Fair enough she had a reason to be, but when people are trying to be considerate to you and you never really give them a chance, that just means you're mean. The high school drama in this book was also a bit much.

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Not If I See You First was an eye-opener when it came to blind characters. Although she can’t see, Parker doesn’t need anyone’s help or pity, and she I really couldn't connect to Parker, who was prickly and rude. Fair enough she had a reason to be, but when people are trying to be considerate to you and you never really give them a chance, that just means you're mean. The high school drama in this book was also a bit much.

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This review appears on Happy Indulgence! Check it out for more reviews.

Not If I See You First was an eye-opener when it came to blind characters. Although she can’t see, Parker doesn’t need anyone’s help or pity, and she has her guard up when it comes to letting others in.

After being in a car accident that resulted in losing her sight and mother, and then her father to a suspected suicide, Parker has a reason to be angry. She’s lost everything she’s ever cared about, including her best friend who she fell in love with when she was young. He hurt her as well, and she’s never given him the light of the day after that. She was really prickly and unpleasant throughout the whole book, and I just couldn’t understand why she was so nasty and unpleasant.

Her rude and abrasive behaviour had me scratching my head a few times during the novel. Yes you’re blind, but if people are trying to be conscious about that and making an effort to be nice to you, you’re not a nice person if you just snap at them or give them the cold shoulder. She has a massive list of rules for strangers to adhere to, some which made sense, like not sneaking up on her or touching her without her permission, but others that were a bit of a stretch, like not offering to help her. I understood that just because she’s disabled she’s not helpless, but the way she acted went that extra mile into mean territory.

Obviously this is a coming of age novel, where Parker learns how unnecessary she’s being especially towards people who love you, and she gets slightly better later on as she learns some crucial life lessons. But in order to reach this process, she has a massive breakdown and lashes out at her cousin, pushes away someone who really cares about her and pretty much plays with the feelings of a really nice guy that she dated. You’d have to be patient to emphasise with Parker’s behaviour and the high school drama here became unbearable at certain points.

It’s kind of refreshing to read about a different character that doesn’t have it together, that does have her flaws that reach beyond her disability. But Parker was someone who was really frustrating at the best of times. The book addresses the disability in a straightforward way, where I realised what was and wasn’t okay when it comes to dealing with blind people, and is empowering for those with the disability. However, because I couldn’t emphasise with Parker’s character, I wasn’t really invested in her story.

I received a review copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. ...more

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Jan 25, 2016 Drew rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, contemporary

“He still looks at you like he used to, even before you got together, like you’re the most important thing in the world.”

This book took some warming up to.

In the beginning the main character, Parker, was a real jerk and her attitude put me off. But when I finally pushed past the first few chapters I realized that's the way she was supposed to act. She was a naturally blunt, honest, and rude person. A big part of the book was dedicated to Parker figuring out that she was mean and self-centere
“He still looks at you like he used to, even before you got together, like you’re the most important thing in the world.”

This book took some warming up to.

In the beginning the main character, Parker, was a real jerk and her attitude put me off. But when I finally pushed past the first few chapters I realized that's the way she was supposed to act. She was a naturally blunt, honest, and rude person. A big part of the book was dedicated to Parker figuring out that she was mean and self-centered and trying to improve herself.

I learned so much about what it's like to be blind through Parker's attentive narrative. As a blind person, she became frustrated with the simple fact of not being able to see people's face expressions - as she had a right to be - and viewed the world primarily through her hearing and close observations.

I was surprised by how caught up I became in the love story. At first the only thing I knew about Parker and Scott was that they used to date when they were thirteen, but then Scott did something so awful Parker has never forgiven him for it.

Now, three years later, Scott shows up at Parker's school and suddenly she can't get him off her mind. Could she have been wrong about what he did? Should she give him a second chance? Amidst the drama of Parker dating another guy and Scott showing up to save Parker every time someone attacks her or she's about to crash into the bleachers, Parker finds her attraction toward Scott quickly returning.

From beginning to end, Parker grew from a don't-screw-with-me blind girl into someone genuinely trying to be a better person. When she took on the challenge of running track in her school, something she had never thought she could do before, and conquered this milestone, I was cheering so hard for her.

She didn't change into a sweet little princess by the end, but she came to realize that giving people second chances could be a good thing and not everyone was out to make evil plans behind her back. I found myself growing to love Parker, snarky voice and all. ...more

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May 30, 2017 Fadwa (Word Wonders) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, young-adult, disability-chronic-illness-rep

I turned the last page expecting there to be mord but nope 🙃 I WANT MORE. I mean, objectively, that was a nice ending, an amazing one even, but I'm greedy.

The story took me a little while to get into but the weird thing is I didn't realize I was loving it until I was and I just kept flipping the pages. Parker's character development is so raw and real and just plain great. I loved how messy everything was and how it was still messy at the end but *she* changed the way she delt with the mess.

Her ...more

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Feb 16, 2016 Barbara rated it liked it · review of another edition

That was kinda cute. I'm not overwhelmed, but it was better than I expected it to be.

Update: Changed the rating to 3/5 stars. My opinion remains the same, it just wasn't fair to my other 3-star books ( like they would mind it)

- Review : http://banosaur.blogspot.pt/2016/03/n... - ...more

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Oct 06, 2017 Laura (bbliophile) rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: diversity

I loved the main character, but there were quite a few comments that made me feel very uncomfortable (like "she'd be very pretty if she lost some weight"). ...more

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May 31, 2015 Linda (un)Conventional Bookworms rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: arc, ya, netgalley, review-books, read-in-2017, contemporary, december-release, 2015-releases, realistic-fiction, diverse-books

This review was originally posted on (un)Conventional Bookviews
Not If I See You First was both delightful and sad. Very real, and with a dash of drama thanks to Parker and the way she thought about herself first - like many other teenagers tend to do.

Review - (un)Conventional Bookviews

I'm not sure why I kept Not If I See You First for so long on my kindle without reading it - it was as if it was hiding in plain sight! Parker was a very prickly heroine, and some might not enjoy her at all. I found her to be refreshing in some ...more

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Jan 10, 2017 Rachael ( RachaelRexds ) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Actual rating : 3.75 stars!
( Trigger warning for grief )

Going into this novel, I had really high expectations since I've been hearing such amazing things about it and even though I am a little disappointed with the way the story turned out to be, I still really enjoyed it :)

Not If I See You First is a YA contemporary novel but it focuses more on character growth and friendship rather than romance. There is a tad bit of romance which I enjoyed but I definitely wished there was a little more! Apar ...more

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About Eric Lindstrom

Eric Lindstrom

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In addition to writing Young Adult novels, Eric Lindstrom has worked in the interactive entertainment industry for years as a creative director, game designer, writer, and usually combinations of all three. As Editor and Co-Writer for Tomb Raider: Legend he received a 2006 BAFTA nomination for Best Video Game Screenplay, and then as the Creative Director for Tomb Raider: Underworld he received a 2 ...more