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Ghastly Beyond Belief: The Science Fiction and Fantasy Book of Quotations
The science fiction and Fantasy Book of Quotations.
This book is made of assorted quotes from science fiction, fantasy, and horror, both in books and movies, with a bias towards science fiction.
This book is made of assorted quotes from science fiction, fantasy, and horror, both in books and movies, with a bias towards science fiction.
344 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1985
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
May 21, 2022
eponymous sentence:
p69: But the Gahstly Beyond Belief prize goes to John W. Campbell Award-winner Paul O. Williams:
'I say you are the remnants of old vomit, occupied only by maggots....'
count:
p22: Frenzied mutant super-rats bloodlusting for human flesh.
James Herbert, Lair, (Signet)
(The author took 244 pages to say what the blurb writer managed to convey in eigth words.)
ocr:
p26: 3. Veteran authors Caiman and Newman have spent aeons in compiling this mighty tome of reference.
p183: (The Great Sardu, introducing his Incredible Torture Show, here sums up the philosophy of the hard-gore porn film....)
p184: When I press this button, the force of we explosion will scatter the germs for hundreds of miles... communism will rule throughout the world.
p207: Maybe bullets and electricity won't stop him, but gas night.
p212: Asimov recounts the difficulty his daughter Robyn had with the film's ending, in which the crew escape from the body before they resume their original sizes, leaving the submarine inside lie test subject.
?!:
p198:(Students of Japanese monster movies, and the copy of editor of this book, will note that between his first appearance in Gammera the Invincible and his heroic follow-up in Gamera vs. Guiron, the giant, radioactive, flying turtle that is the hero of this series decided to dragoman 'm' from his name in order to create confusion.)
comma:
p206: In a big budget film, this can involve spectacularly destructive weapons developed in a race against time by a hard-working scientist his beautiful daughter, and a handsome lab assistant.
p210: We once laughed at the horseless carriage the telephone, electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television.
Doesn't quite pack a punch when read by a youngster (relative) like myself.
p69: But the Gahstly Beyond Belief prize goes to John W. Campbell Award-winner Paul O. Williams:
'I say you are the remnants of old vomit, occupied only by maggots....'
count:
p22: Frenzied mutant super-rats bloodlusting for human flesh.
James Herbert, Lair, (Signet)
(The author took 244 pages to say what the blurb writer managed to convey in eigth words.)
ocr:
p26: 3. Veteran authors Caiman and Newman have spent aeons in compiling this mighty tome of reference.
p183: (The Great Sardu, introducing his Incredible Torture Show, here sums up the philosophy of the hard-gore porn film....)
p184: When I press this button, the force of we explosion will scatter the germs for hundreds of miles... communism will rule throughout the world.
p207: Maybe bullets and electricity won't stop him, but gas night.
p212: Asimov recounts the difficulty his daughter Robyn had with the film's ending, in which the crew escape from the body before they resume their original sizes, leaving the submarine inside lie test subject.
?!:
p198:(Students of Japanese monster movies, and the copy of editor of this book, will note that between his first appearance in Gammera the Invincible and his heroic follow-up in Gamera vs. Guiron, the giant, radioactive, flying turtle that is the hero of this series decided to dragoman 'm' from his name in order to create confusion.)
comma:
p206: In a big budget film, this can involve spectacularly destructive weapons developed in a race against time by a hard-working scientist his beautiful daughter, and a handsome lab assistant.
p210: We once laughed at the horseless carriage the telephone, electric light, vitamins, radio, and even television.
Doesn't quite pack a punch when read by a youngster (relative) like myself.
March 8, 2016
The literary version of Mystery Science Theater 3000. All the stupidest lines, characters, and back-cover blurbs from decades of science fiction and fantasy. Biting, yet loving, commentary and a great mixture of obscure and obvious choices.
Read
January 12, 2016Not a review of 2016 to date, though the title would suit admirably, but a gallimaufry of SF, fantasy and horror quotations assembled and editorialised by the pre-fame Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman. The first half, covering written material, is a delight - all manner of tortured and confused prose skewered on the page for our sadistic amusement. The repeat appearances for such luminaries as EE 'Doc' Smith, Guy N Smith (no relation, as far as we know) and Lionel Fanthorpe will not surprise connoisseurs of dire English, but there are also strong showings by lesser-known turkeys such as Yellow Inferno and Night of the Black Horror (only one of which is as racist as the title suggests).
The problem arises in the second half, which is taken from the screen rather than the page. Certainly genre cinema has had some shocking dialogue...but the words are no longer the whole story. You need to identify the speakers, and this must often be done by story role rather than name...which unravels if, decades later, the characters from Star Wars are being summarised in the same snarky, you've-probably-not-seen-this tone as those from Macumba Love. Even beyond that, the editors' ear seems less sure here; a fair amount of the stuff in the second section is memorable for all the right reasons, but it's often jumbled in with the awful rot.
The problem arises in the second half, which is taken from the screen rather than the page. Certainly genre cinema has had some shocking dialogue...but the words are no longer the whole story. You need to identify the speakers, and this must often be done by story role rather than name...which unravels if, decades later, the characters from Star Wars are being summarised in the same snarky, you've-probably-not-seen-this tone as those from Macumba Love. Even beyond that, the editors' ear seems less sure here; a fair amount of the stuff in the second section is memorable for all the right reasons, but it's often jumbled in with the awful rot.
February 6, 2018
This was a fun read, particularly when the quotes were from books that I've read. It's comprised of quotes from books and movies that are commented on by Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman. Book quotes are in the first half of the book and movie quotes in the second. I enjoyed the book quotes a lot more, but there are some gems in the movie section as well.
Many of the comments are quite funny and appropriate, while a few seem strange and one or two, a bit missing the mark, I think. I had several laughs reading through this, though only from a small percentage of the quotes.
What was detracting was that there were a lot of typos. It may be only in this digital version I bought from Humble Bundle, but the typos got worse and more frequent the further the book went along. I'm guessing they probably OCR'ed the original and then no one double-checked it for errors. Some of the typos are missing words, some are misspellings, and some are words that just don't make any sense and you have to guess at what was intended.
Overall, it was fun and kind of a lesson in writing (maybe more on the "what not to do" side). I particularly enjoyed the blurb section. And it gave me a few movies and books that I might have to check out, for good or bad.
Many of the comments are quite funny and appropriate, while a few seem strange and one or two, a bit missing the mark, I think. I had several laughs reading through this, though only from a small percentage of the quotes.
What was detracting was that there were a lot of typos. It may be only in this digital version I bought from Humble Bundle, but the typos got worse and more frequent the further the book went along. I'm guessing they probably OCR'ed the original and then no one double-checked it for errors. Some of the typos are missing words, some are misspellings, and some are words that just don't make any sense and you have to guess at what was intended.
Overall, it was fun and kind of a lesson in writing (maybe more on the "what not to do" side). I particularly enjoyed the blurb section. And it gave me a few movies and books that I might have to check out, for good or bad.
March 2, 2020
This is one of my oldest possessions and a book I have read again and again and again.
It is an hilarious and revealing book of quotes from science fiction books and films. The collection of material is hugely varied and endlessly interesting.
It's really really funny.
It is an hilarious and revealing book of quotes from science fiction books and films. The collection of material is hugely varied and endlessly interesting.
It's really really funny.
May 16, 2021
Good lord the title of this book isn't joking - these are some of the WORST, most heinous quotes from real science fiction books. Completely jaw dropping bad, yet real, with gems from all the worst tropes in Science Fiction. I'm listing a few gems below!
Books - Sexist Blurbs beyond belief!!
"Every woman in the city was his!" - Brian Aldiss, The Male Response
"His fancies had come true—he was a lone man on a planet entirely inhabited by women." - Poul Anderson, Virgin Planet
Book Character - The Bad Guys
"His little bloodshot eyes regarded them—curious, cunning, hopeful, rather like the eyes of an intelligent pig calculating its chances of eating the baby." - Avram Davidson, Mutiny in Space
Book Characters - Aliens
"To staid, Earthly inhabitants of forty million years past, Zora would have appeared as a weird monstrosity. Yet her features, her curved, undulating lines and graceful waving tentacles were harmonizing and symphonious to the eye." Neil R. Jones, Space War
Book - Language
"I say you are the remnants of old vomit, occupied only by maggots. You mistake your ordure for ideas. Your breath is a pile of fish entrails. The vile ugliness of your entire being might make one mistake you for rich fertiliser, but you would kill my garden." - Paul O. Williams, The Fall of the Shell
"Scrounge some breakfast. We’ve got to eat, even if this is Armageddon."
"And Armageddon sick of it," Karen offered. - Robert A. Heinlein, Farnham's Freehold
Movies - Coming Attractions
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977): We are not alone.
Dawn of the Dead (1979): When there’s no more room in HELL, the Dead will walk the Earth.
Star Wars (1977): A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away . . .
There are so many more one liners, phrases and just BAD writing I have to admit it got hard to finish this in one sitting. After a while it's like overeating at Thanksgiving. The first plate is great. The second is all right but the third ... probably avoid it in case you need to barf afterwards. This book is like that. It's all right in small doses but overindulgence will lead to feeling nauseous and unwell.
Books - Sexist Blurbs beyond belief!!
"Every woman in the city was his!" - Brian Aldiss, The Male Response
"His fancies had come true—he was a lone man on a planet entirely inhabited by women." - Poul Anderson, Virgin Planet
Book Character - The Bad Guys
"His little bloodshot eyes regarded them—curious, cunning, hopeful, rather like the eyes of an intelligent pig calculating its chances of eating the baby." - Avram Davidson, Mutiny in Space
Book Characters - Aliens
"To staid, Earthly inhabitants of forty million years past, Zora would have appeared as a weird monstrosity. Yet her features, her curved, undulating lines and graceful waving tentacles were harmonizing and symphonious to the eye." Neil R. Jones, Space War
Book - Language
"I say you are the remnants of old vomit, occupied only by maggots. You mistake your ordure for ideas. Your breath is a pile of fish entrails. The vile ugliness of your entire being might make one mistake you for rich fertiliser, but you would kill my garden." - Paul O. Williams, The Fall of the Shell
"Scrounge some breakfast. We’ve got to eat, even if this is Armageddon."
"And Armageddon sick of it," Karen offered. - Robert A. Heinlein, Farnham's Freehold
Movies - Coming Attractions
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977): We are not alone.
Dawn of the Dead (1979): When there’s no more room in HELL, the Dead will walk the Earth.
Star Wars (1977): A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away . . .
There are so many more one liners, phrases and just BAD writing I have to admit it got hard to finish this in one sitting. After a while it's like overeating at Thanksgiving. The first plate is great. The second is all right but the third ... probably avoid it in case you need to barf afterwards. This book is like that. It's all right in small doses but overindulgence will lead to feeling nauseous and unwell.
May 18, 2022
Would you believe it? Only an intergalactic guerilla force of pigs could destroy the monsters of the Ghost Plateau!
Harry Harrison, The Man From P.I.G., (Avon)
(A blurb none the less weird for being perfectly accurate.)
This has been an enjoyable read which it may not seem from the time it took to finish the book. Unfortunately it somehow ended up in a 'misc' box when we moved house and was hidden in the attic for a good 8 months!
The other problem is that it led to me reading many other books, including a lot of Harry Harrison's.
The premise of the book is simple; Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman pick through cult science fiction, fantasy, and horror, whether it be books or movies, and find the best, funniest, and iconic lines. They look at the 'blurb' on the back of books, movie tag lines, and various character types, the hero, the scientist, the local cop, etc., and match them to the well known tropes of the genres above.
Quite a few of the works referenced were unknown to me and I have a long list of books to keep an eye out for in charity and second hand book shops. 3 1/2 stars.
Harry Harrison, The Man From P.I.G., (Avon)
(A blurb none the less weird for being perfectly accurate.)
This has been an enjoyable read which it may not seem from the time it took to finish the book. Unfortunately it somehow ended up in a 'misc' box when we moved house and was hidden in the attic for a good 8 months!
The other problem is that it led to me reading many other books, including a lot of Harry Harrison's.
The premise of the book is simple; Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman pick through cult science fiction, fantasy, and horror, whether it be books or movies, and find the best, funniest, and iconic lines. They look at the 'blurb' on the back of books, movie tag lines, and various character types, the hero, the scientist, the local cop, etc., and match them to the well known tropes of the genres above.
Quite a few of the works referenced were unknown to me and I have a long list of books to keep an eye out for in charity and second hand book shops. 3 1/2 stars.
June 16, 2017
Mainly referencing pulp books with few noticeable exemptions, highlight of this book is in the way it is organized. Authors managed to classify the quotations according to the characters, language, special effects etc. in both books and movies as in Good Science and Mad Science.
It is too much to be read from cover to cover, but for a quick graze through it could be great fun.
It is too much to be read from cover to cover, but for a quick graze through it could be great fun.
December 24, 2019
A truly hilarious collection of cover blurbs, lines or dialogue from various speculative fiction books and movies.
Gaiman and Newman collect from a wide variety of sources, from books written by famous authors like Arthur C. Clarke to lesser-known pulp fiction authors and obscure monster films.
It's a real shame Arrow Books went out of business, making this book so hard to find.
Gaiman and Newman collect from a wide variety of sources, from books written by famous authors like Arthur C. Clarke to lesser-known pulp fiction authors and obscure monster films.
It's a real shame Arrow Books went out of business, making this book so hard to find.
September 6, 2018
It is what it says it is—a collection of quotations. It’s a little uneven; there were definitely moments that made me laugh (whether it was the quotation or the commentary), but some of it is definitely dated.
May 16, 2023
Now that I have an ereader, I'm finally making my way through the Humble Bundle of Neil Gaiman ephemera I got back in 2015.
This one does what it says on the tin, which was more enjoyable than I had expected.
This one does what it says on the tin, which was more enjoyable than I had expected.
November 30, 2019
Actual rating 2.75
I just dont really see the point of this one.
I just dont really see the point of this one.
February 15, 2023
Bought this back in 1985 or 6. Used to refer to it all the time, think my copy is still in the house somewhere.
April 6, 2023
Funny quotes from books and movies, some really good, some of them not as good. Hard to read because of the disconnection between phrases. Still, a good way to know new books and movies.
February 11, 2024
An interesting book of quotations. Some of the movies quoted aren't really sf or horror (I'm not sure how I'd classify Pink Flamingos but it definitely wouldn't be either of those).
November 20, 2017
I got this as part of the Gaiman rarities Humble Bundle for 2016.
In the forward to this book the authors describe they originally intention to write "the definitive book of science fiction and fantasy quotations," but they abandoned the idea when the publishers pointed out the lack of sales appeal of this idea. I suppose they figured out it would be boring and pointless. Somehow they ended up making non-definitive list of quotations which is equally boring and pointless. This is especially true for the list of movie quotations, which is sorted alphabetically by movie name, with very little life in it. The parts which are better are the ones which do not try to be so methodical, mostly the first part which is about books, which explores some interesting troves of SF and fantasy books. I kinda enjoyed this part. But mostly, this was one of the most boring pieces of writing I ever read, two stars out of five.
In the forward to this book the authors describe they originally intention to write "the definitive book of science fiction and fantasy quotations," but they abandoned the idea when the publishers pointed out the lack of sales appeal of this idea. I suppose they figured out it would be boring and pointless. Somehow they ended up making non-definitive list of quotations which is equally boring and pointless. This is especially true for the list of movie quotations, which is sorted alphabetically by movie name, with very little life in it. The parts which are better are the ones which do not try to be so methodical, mostly the first part which is about books, which explores some interesting troves of SF and fantasy books. I kinda enjoyed this part. But mostly, this was one of the most boring pieces of writing I ever read, two stars out of five.
April 4, 2012
The Most Hysterically Funny complilation of lines and concepts from the history of Sci Fi and Fantasy. This book, written by Neil Gaiman many, many years ago had a very short print run, was remandered early and is only available as a second hand, rare book. Last time I spoke to Mr. Gaiman, himself, he said he didn't have a copy. Hopefully this has been corrected.
In the book the authors divided the Meme's of Sci Fi and Fantasy into all its subgroups and gave us amazing exampled. My favorites include the chapter on Swearing.
"Holy Kolon's Iridium Intestines, Batman!"
And Religion, which included Zelany's prayer to Gods who may or may not be influenced by prayer.
Also is fun is the chapter on Rhubarbing Natives, whose function includes dying messily to alert the Quick thinking hero that something might be amiss in that house on the hill.
If you can beg or borrow this book, do so.
In the book the authors divided the Meme's of Sci Fi and Fantasy into all its subgroups and gave us amazing exampled. My favorites include the chapter on Swearing.
"Holy Kolon's Iridium Intestines, Batman!"
And Religion, which included Zelany's prayer to Gods who may or may not be influenced by prayer.
Also is fun is the chapter on Rhubarbing Natives, whose function includes dying messily to alert the Quick thinking hero that something might be amiss in that house on the hill.
If you can beg or borrow this book, do so.
February 1, 2017
The introduction of this book says that it was originally planned to be a literary index of science fiction, until it was pointed out to the author that nobody would read it that way, and instead it became a collection of funny quotations of old-time science fiction. I say old-time because this book is from the 80s and tells me that the Hitchhiker's Guide is contemporary. I would probably have enjoyed this book more if I actually had any clue who the authors were. I know some of the names but I've read very little science fiction. When the book shifted to movies instead, however, I suddenly knew a lot more of what it was talking about and that part of the book was a lot more fun to me. A part of me keeps wondering, though; in this day and age when people can become professors in fantasy, would this book have worked as it was originally intended?
January 31, 2016
A compendium of quotes from sf novels and b-movies. It pokes fun at the turgid prose and cliches of the genre, but it remains obvious the editors have a love for their subjects. I think it would work better in print, to be sampled at random, rather than as an e-book where reading it straight through gets repetitive. I'm also sure that fans of 50's sci-fi creature features will appreciate it more, like "I remember that line- that was great wasn't it!" It did inspire me to watch Queen of Outer Space so that's something.
March 5, 2017
Isso é um livro de citações. E aqui vão duas que eu achei especiais o suficiente para marcar (dentro do spoiler aí). Mas como esse é um livro de citações e eu dei 5 estrelas das possíveis 5, acho que dá pra dizer que eu gostei de muitas citações além dessas duas.
December 11, 2016
http://nwhyte.livejournal.com/2706065.html
This is a point-and-laugh collection of extracts from sf books and films which are grotesquely over-written or badly written, and does pretty much what it says on the tin. Some of the extracts are pretty glorious but I'm afraid most just made me wince. I found the first half, which concentrates on books, much more interesting than the second half, which concentrates on films.
This is a point-and-laugh collection of extracts from sf books and films which are grotesquely over-written or badly written, and does pretty much what it says on the tin. Some of the extracts are pretty glorious but I'm afraid most just made me wince. I found the first half, which concentrates on books, much more interesting than the second half, which concentrates on films.
January 6, 2016
An amusing collection of early SF quotes. It is very expansive and gets repetetive so you better not read it all at once. The comments to some of quotes are really spot on and often made me laugh.
My main gripe with this book is that it refers to a lot of books and movies I haven't read or watched and judging from the titles and the quotes I would have never had the desire to do so.
My main gripe with this book is that it refers to a lot of books and movies I haven't read or watched and judging from the titles and the quotes I would have never had the desire to do so.
October 9, 2015
Moderately entertaining.
Want to Read
March 8, 2016Cute, but kind of difficult to read in long stretches.
March 14, 2016
The best parts were the author's interjections and commentary on the quotes. My only complaint would be that there weren't enough of these.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews