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The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life
Born into a family who believed in fate, Amy Tan has always looked for alternative ways to make sense of the world. And now, in The Opposite of Fate, her first book of nonfiction, she shares her thoughts on how she escaped the expectations and curses of her past, and created her own destiny.
Amy Tan tells of her family, of the ghosts that inhabit her computer, of specters of illness, ski trips, the pliability of memory, rock and roll, and the twinned mysteries of faith and fate. Whether she is remembering arguments with her mother in suburban California, recounting trips to an outdoor market in Shanghai, or describing her love-hate relationship with the CliffsNotes edition of her first book, The Joy Luck Club, her recollections offer an intimate glimpse of a bestselling writer whose own life story is as magical and hopeful as her fiction.
428 pages, ebook
First published October 27, 2003
483 people are currently reading
10589 people want to read
About the author
Amy Tan
100 books11.2k followersAmy Tan (Chinese: 譚恩美; pinyin: Tán Ēnměi; born February 19, 1952) is an American writer whose novels include The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God’s Wife, The Hundred Secret Senses, The Bonesetter’s Daughter, Saving Fish From Drowing, and The Valley of Amazement. She is the author of two memoirs, The Opposite of Fate and Where the Past Begins. Her two children’s books are The Chinese Siamese Cat and The Moon Lady. She is also the co-screenwriter of the film adaptation of The Joy Luck, the librettist of the opera The Bonesetter’s Daughter, and the creative consultant to the PBS animated series Sagwa the Chinese Chinese Cat.
Tan is an instructor with MasterClass on writing, memory and imagination. She is featured in the American Masters documentary Amy Tan: Unintended Memoir. She was inducted into the American Academy of Arts and Letters and recently received the National Humanities Medal. She serves on the board of American Bird Conservancy.
Her forthcoming book The Backyard Bird Chronicles began as a journal in 2016, when she turned to nature for calm. She also began taking drawing classes with John Muir Laws (The Laws Guide to Nature Journaling and Drawing, and The Laws Guide to Drawing Birds). During the pandemic shutdown, she drew birds only in her backyard, documenting behaviors she found puzzling. Over time she identified 64 species of birds that have visited her backyard in Marin County. By 2022, she had more than nine journals of sketches and notes, which her editor at Knopf suggested she publish. The book, which will be released in April 2024, has already received high praise:
“Much of great writing comes from great interest, and in The Backyard Bird Chronicles, Amy Tan shows us how the world fascinates her, especially the birds. The result is both unexpected and spectacular.”
—Ann Patchett, author of These Precious Days
“What an enchanting and illuminating book! How lucky for us that Amy Tan has turned her genius, her deep empathy and insight, her keen eye for what is telling, to birds. Every page of these chronicles radiates warm curiosity, wonder, and delight.”
—Jennifer Ackerman, The Genius of Birds
“This is one of the most infectious and convincing books about nature I’ve read. For the bird-watcher, the would-be bird-watcher, or for the bird-watching skeptic, this offers great delight and unexpected intrigue. Through Tan’s ecstatic eyes, what could be a dry treatise on ornithological happenings becomes something far more fun and much more profound. It’s really a book about seeing.”
—Dave Eggers, author of Ungrateful Mammals
“Anybody even mildly interested in birds, or thinking about getting interested in birds (which are, after all, the indicator genus for the health of the planet), will want this book perched on their shelf, if only for the gift of Amy Tan’s eye and the example she gives us of how to pay attention. What a treasure.”
—Robert Hass, Pulitzer Prize-Winning author of Summer Snow: New Poems
“Backyard Bird Chronicles is fun reading. It shows how we can become engaged emotionally, literally and artistically with the natural world—to joyfully learn about the most accessible and yet wild animals, the often rare and beautiful birds that choose to come and live near and sometimes with us.”
—Bernd Heinrich, author of Mind of the Raven
“With this book as your guide, embark into the bird world Amy Tan. This is an intimate view, a sort-of love affair with the birds and their behavior, that Amy has come to know over several years. Within the leafy universe of her own backyard, she has quietly beheld, patiently observed, and taken in-depth notations of an extensive array of bird species. In colorful detail, she describes various bird’s behavior, while capturing their beauty in exquisitely rendered illustrations. Species include fearsome predators and watchful prey, long distance migrants and hometown residents. Through her unique insight and gift as an author and
Tan is an instructor with MasterClass on writing, memory and imagination. She is featured in the American Masters documentary Amy Tan: Unintended Memoir. She was inducted into the American Academy of Arts and Letters and recently received the National Humanities Medal. She serves on the board of American Bird Conservancy.
Her forthcoming book The Backyard Bird Chronicles began as a journal in 2016, when she turned to nature for calm. She also began taking drawing classes with John Muir Laws (The Laws Guide to Nature Journaling and Drawing, and The Laws Guide to Drawing Birds). During the pandemic shutdown, she drew birds only in her backyard, documenting behaviors she found puzzling. Over time she identified 64 species of birds that have visited her backyard in Marin County. By 2022, she had more than nine journals of sketches and notes, which her editor at Knopf suggested she publish. The book, which will be released in April 2024, has already received high praise:
“Much of great writing comes from great interest, and in The Backyard Bird Chronicles, Amy Tan shows us how the world fascinates her, especially the birds. The result is both unexpected and spectacular.”
—Ann Patchett, author of These Precious Days
“What an enchanting and illuminating book! How lucky for us that Amy Tan has turned her genius, her deep empathy and insight, her keen eye for what is telling, to birds. Every page of these chronicles radiates warm curiosity, wonder, and delight.”
—Jennifer Ackerman, The Genius of Birds
“This is one of the most infectious and convincing books about nature I’ve read. For the bird-watcher, the would-be bird-watcher, or for the bird-watching skeptic, this offers great delight and unexpected intrigue. Through Tan’s ecstatic eyes, what could be a dry treatise on ornithological happenings becomes something far more fun and much more profound. It’s really a book about seeing.”
—Dave Eggers, author of Ungrateful Mammals
“Anybody even mildly interested in birds, or thinking about getting interested in birds (which are, after all, the indicator genus for the health of the planet), will want this book perched on their shelf, if only for the gift of Amy Tan’s eye and the example she gives us of how to pay attention. What a treasure.”
—Robert Hass, Pulitzer Prize-Winning author of Summer Snow: New Poems
“Backyard Bird Chronicles is fun reading. It shows how we can become engaged emotionally, literally and artistically with the natural world—to joyfully learn about the most accessible and yet wild animals, the often rare and beautiful birds that choose to come and live near and sometimes with us.”
—Bernd Heinrich, author of Mind of the Raven
“With this book as your guide, embark into the bird world Amy Tan. This is an intimate view, a sort-of love affair with the birds and their behavior, that Amy has come to know over several years. Within the leafy universe of her own backyard, she has quietly beheld, patiently observed, and taken in-depth notations of an extensive array of bird species. In colorful detail, she describes various bird’s behavior, while capturing their beauty in exquisitely rendered illustrations. Species include fearsome predators and watchful prey, long distance migrants and hometown residents. Through her unique insight and gift as an author and
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 904 reviews
February 6, 2009
Reading this book is like sitting down to lunch with someone you hardly know and making a new friend. I happen to love Amy Tan's novels. I also like to read about writers and how they got their breaks. This memior/musings/essay book held a lot of the magic that is found in Joy Luck Club/Kitchen God's Wife with a lot of reality and the daily suffering of a writer.
I particularly enjoyed reading about Tan's mother (but of course it's the crazy/hard-lifed mothers that make Joy Luck and Kitchen God's Wife so good) and about her path to making it as a writer. I also liked reading about how her mother made her sit down at the piano and practice for an hour every day even when she'd much rather be outside playing. I even liked reading about her thoughts on lanuage and how they formed who she is today, as a writer and generally as a person.
There's a reason why people love Amy Tan--it's because she has the writing style to make you feel like she IS your best friend and that she's telling her stories to you, making you HER friend.
I particularly enjoyed reading about Tan's mother (but of course it's the crazy/hard-lifed mothers that make Joy Luck and Kitchen God's Wife so good) and about her path to making it as a writer. I also liked reading about how her mother made her sit down at the piano and practice for an hour every day even when she'd much rather be outside playing. I even liked reading about her thoughts on lanuage and how they formed who she is today, as a writer and generally as a person.
There's a reason why people love Amy Tan--it's because she has the writing style to make you feel like she IS your best friend and that she's telling her stories to you, making you HER friend.
August 15, 2016
Amy Tan is one of the finest American writers we have. I am making it a point not to call her one of our finest women writers or Chinese-American writers or a writer of color, an issue which is explored in this memoir. This book may be a special taste -- you might need to be someone who loves her work and is interested in writing to fully appreciate it. Amy tells her stories with certainty and elegance and never overstates anything. I listened to this book which was all the better for having the author as the narrator as she imbues her prose with subtle inflections, careful pauses, rises and falls of volume. One particular instance comes to mind when she very carefully uses the word "racist". She also changes her voice when she reads words that came from her mother, an effect both humorous and touching. It was fascinating to learn what the true stories are that inspired her fiction as well as her surprisingly pleasant experience in Hollywood while making the film version of the Joy Luck Club.
What a pleasure to read prose with such a refreshing perspective. To paraphrase Amy, she works so hard at making her work easy to read -- and listen to.
What a pleasure to read prose with such a refreshing perspective. To paraphrase Amy, she works so hard at making her work easy to read -- and listen to.
August 19, 2024
An excellent work of non-fiction by one of contemporary literature's finest talents.
Amy Tan has lived an interesting life, that's for sure - familial upheaval, loss, murder, feelings of not fitting in... It would be easy for this book to turn into an endless barrage of traumatic events, but Tan avoids this, injecting humour and self-awareness into what really is more a series of essays than an autobiography.
As an English teacher, I did cringe when Tan talks about how students analyse The Joy Luck Club, specifically with reference to numerology...It did remind me of when my own students say, "Sir it's not that deep". With tentative language and a solid argument though, you can suggest anything when it comes to interpreting literature! Quite amusingly though, Tan states that all this analysis made her think was that she uses the number 4 too much in her work >.<
Recommended, especially if you're a fan of Tan's fiction writing.
Amy Tan has lived an interesting life, that's for sure - familial upheaval, loss, murder, feelings of not fitting in... It would be easy for this book to turn into an endless barrage of traumatic events, but Tan avoids this, injecting humour and self-awareness into what really is more a series of essays than an autobiography.
As an English teacher, I did cringe when Tan talks about how students analyse The Joy Luck Club, specifically with reference to numerology...It did remind me of when my own students say, "Sir it's not that deep". With tentative language and a solid argument though, you can suggest anything when it comes to interpreting literature! Quite amusingly though, Tan states that all this analysis made her think was that she uses the number 4 too much in her work >.<
Recommended, especially if you're a fan of Tan's fiction writing.
November 1, 2008
I highly recommend this book to all writers as well as those interested in the “evolution” of a writer. I truly enjoyed Amy Tan’s honest and insightful account of her “journey,” told through a series of essays and autobiographical sketches.
I especially appreciated Tan’s essay, “Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects,” in which she rejects the widespread belief that writers come in colors – and those colors do not mix and match. It is a biting critique of those who would dictate who is qualified to write about various cultures and peoples and how they should do so.
Bravo Ms. Tam for refusing to play the label game.
I especially appreciated Tan’s essay, “Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects,” in which she rejects the widespread belief that writers come in colors – and those colors do not mix and match. It is a biting critique of those who would dictate who is qualified to write about various cultures and peoples and how they should do so.
Bravo Ms. Tam for refusing to play the label game.
July 26, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. It was so different from the books I normally read. Amy Tan has led an interesting life! It was a little slow 3/4 of the way through, but I enjoyed reading about her life and relationship with her mother. Seeking the "American Dream" and the chinese culture of honoring and obeying your parents are so polar opposite. It's understandable that first generation kids grow up very confused.
March 26, 2022
A good story! I didn't like it very much the first two times I read this, but with this third time, it's grown on me.
April 21, 2020
Delightful!
****
I discovered this book at one of my library's Friends of the Library booksales. Without hesitation, I paid the minimal amount to purchase a book written by one of my favorite authors, Amy Tan. It is difficult to classify the genre of her writings here, but the sub-title of A Book of Musings captures it well.
Her spirit and humor that characterize her engaging novels, are observed in her tales of her life and how she escaped the encumbrances of her past to develop a future of her own. Her journey from her childhood unexpected disasters to comedy, to the present day and her unexpected success as a prize-winning novelist are related as entertainingly as her novels.
Much of this book is given to random thoughts with arbitrary places of circumstance, yet it all fits well to convey to the reader the influences in her life which led to her successful novels.Recalling arguments with her mother in suburban California, living with ancient Asian superstitions, hearing the acceptance of fate and travels to China, all contributed to the familiar subjects she wrote about. The Opposite of Fate offers vivid portraits of choices, attitudes, charms, and luck in action in this book.
I was pleased to have discovered this collection of stories, which somehow has remained partially dormant since 2003.
****
I discovered this book at one of my library's Friends of the Library booksales. Without hesitation, I paid the minimal amount to purchase a book written by one of my favorite authors, Amy Tan. It is difficult to classify the genre of her writings here, but the sub-title of A Book of Musings captures it well.
Her spirit and humor that characterize her engaging novels, are observed in her tales of her life and how she escaped the encumbrances of her past to develop a future of her own. Her journey from her childhood unexpected disasters to comedy, to the present day and her unexpected success as a prize-winning novelist are related as entertainingly as her novels.
Much of this book is given to random thoughts with arbitrary places of circumstance, yet it all fits well to convey to the reader the influences in her life which led to her successful novels.Recalling arguments with her mother in suburban California, living with ancient Asian superstitions, hearing the acceptance of fate and travels to China, all contributed to the familiar subjects she wrote about. The Opposite of Fate offers vivid portraits of choices, attitudes, charms, and luck in action in this book.
I was pleased to have discovered this collection of stories, which somehow has remained partially dormant since 2003.
January 22, 2026
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July 9, 2013
Despite the subtitle, I bought this book expecting it to be more of a memoir than it actually is. I think Amy Tan's main purpose in writing it was to set the record straight on a variety of topics, beginning with an inaccurate summary of her life that turned up in an edition of CliffsNotes. She does so in essays that directly address the points that need to be made, and also tosses in other writings that range from a college commencement address to an item she wrote for the newspaper when eight years old.
As such, it's somewhat disjointed and uneven. Some parts appealed to me much more than others.
Early on, she provides some personal and family history, which includes plenty of elements readers will recognize from her fiction (a character who goes one day each year without speaking, for example, and most certainly the memorable voice of her mother). This is followed by a section in which she argues that readers ought not assume that her stories are autobiographical. (Maybe they aren't, but reading between the lines in yet another section one can conclude that she sees a self-portrait in The Kitchen God's Wife.) There's also an eloquent rebuttal to the people in publishing and educational circles who insist on pidgeon-holing her as a representative of her ethnic group, gender, color, etc. and looking to her for politically correct lessons. That kind of writing, she feels (and I agree) amounts to propaganda, not literature. She says, "I write stories about life as I have misunderstood it. To be sure, it's a Chinese-American life, but that's the only one I've had so far."
There are points at which it seems the lady protests too much. She mentions a journalist friend who says, "Any attention is valuable ... If you receive any, you should be grateful." I rather agree with that as well, because Tan's path to literary success appears to have been unusually smooth. Better to be misunderstood by some harebrained people than completely ignored. This is not to suggest that she doesn't deserve success; she emphatically does. But she too acknowledges that she has been lucky.
Her luck has not been only literary, since apparently she's had more than her share of close brushes with death. For me, the final section is devastating. It describes a mysterious illness that overtook her and the frustratingly slow process of getting a diagnosis. Because of the story described in my own book, I recognized her discovery that most doctors and even professional medical societies are clueless when presented with something out of the ordinary. I recognized the cynical but helpful voices she found on Internet discussion boards, and her conclusion that, rare or not, this thing afflicts a heck of a lot of other people.
I found most of this book utterly fascinating. It sparked an interest in going back and rereading her novels. It reaffirmed an earlier impression that Amy Tan is someone I'd be glad to know (an impression that faded when I later visited her Facebook page). Most importantly, in discussing her life and what has been important to her, she shows how much of the joys and fears of this existence are common experiences.
As such, it's somewhat disjointed and uneven. Some parts appealed to me much more than others.
Early on, she provides some personal and family history, which includes plenty of elements readers will recognize from her fiction (a character who goes one day each year without speaking, for example, and most certainly the memorable voice of her mother). This is followed by a section in which she argues that readers ought not assume that her stories are autobiographical. (Maybe they aren't, but reading between the lines in yet another section one can conclude that she sees a self-portrait in The Kitchen God's Wife.) There's also an eloquent rebuttal to the people in publishing and educational circles who insist on pidgeon-holing her as a representative of her ethnic group, gender, color, etc. and looking to her for politically correct lessons. That kind of writing, she feels (and I agree) amounts to propaganda, not literature. She says, "I write stories about life as I have misunderstood it. To be sure, it's a Chinese-American life, but that's the only one I've had so far."
There are points at which it seems the lady protests too much. She mentions a journalist friend who says, "Any attention is valuable ... If you receive any, you should be grateful." I rather agree with that as well, because Tan's path to literary success appears to have been unusually smooth. Better to be misunderstood by some harebrained people than completely ignored. This is not to suggest that she doesn't deserve success; she emphatically does. But she too acknowledges that she has been lucky.
Her luck has not been only literary, since apparently she's had more than her share of close brushes with death. For me, the final section is devastating. It describes a mysterious illness that overtook her and the frustratingly slow process of getting a diagnosis. Because of the story described in my own book, I recognized her discovery that most doctors and even professional medical societies are clueless when presented with something out of the ordinary. I recognized the cynical but helpful voices she found on Internet discussion boards, and her conclusion that, rare or not, this thing afflicts a heck of a lot of other people.
I found most of this book utterly fascinating. It sparked an interest in going back and rereading her novels. It reaffirmed an earlier impression that Amy Tan is someone I'd be glad to know (an impression that faded when I later visited her Facebook page). Most importantly, in discussing her life and what has been important to her, she shows how much of the joys and fears of this existence are common experiences.
February 9, 2017
I write stories because I have questions about life, not answers. I believe life is mysterious and not dissectable . . . . I can't paraphrase or give succinct morals about love and hope, pain and loss. I have to use a mental longhand, ponder and work it out in the form of a story that is revised again and again, twenty times, a hundred times, until it feels true. I write for very much the same reasons that I read: to startle my mind, to church my heart, to tingle my spine, to knock the blinders off my eyes and allow me to see beyond the pale. [322]
The Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan has long been one of my favorite books, so it's about time I reviewed it. This "memoir" is a collection of essays, speeches, and articles written over the course of many years, categorized into themed sections. Collectively they explore Tan's Chinese heritage, her childhood as the daughter of immigrants, and her journey to becoming a well-known author of American fiction (Tan prefers not to be categorized as a Chinese-American or Asian-American author, which she discusses in the essay "Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects." I like her reasons.).
The essays converge on motifs of fate, hope, coincidence, and the possibility of redeeming the past--common subjects in Tan's novels. It is difficult to choose favorite essays as I feel they function best as a unit, but I particularly love "The Cliffnotes Version of My Life," "My Grandmother's Choice," "Fish Cheeks" and "Arrival Banquet." Tan's tone is conversational and often humorous, but her essays delve deep into questions of identity and purpose. She says,
The stories I write concern the various beliefs I have held and lost and found at various times in my life . . . I realize those beliefs most often have had to do with hope: hope and expectation, hope and disappointment, loss and hope, fate and hope, death and hope, luck and hope. They [spring] from the questions I had as a child: How did that happen? What's going to happen? How can I make things happen? [111]
I think that is why I love this book so much; it is a candid, well-written, and insightful look at life from many perspectives. It inspires empathy and thoughtfulness when relating to other people. I do not necessarily "agree" with all of the views/beliefs in this book, but I think the best books help you step outside of yourself and see things through another's eyes.
AND in case that sounds too philosophical, I'll add that this book is also incredibly entertaining and funny! :) Let me know if you read it.
The Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan has long been one of my favorite books, so it's about time I reviewed it. This "memoir" is a collection of essays, speeches, and articles written over the course of many years, categorized into themed sections. Collectively they explore Tan's Chinese heritage, her childhood as the daughter of immigrants, and her journey to becoming a well-known author of American fiction (Tan prefers not to be categorized as a Chinese-American or Asian-American author, which she discusses in the essay "Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects." I like her reasons.).
The essays converge on motifs of fate, hope, coincidence, and the possibility of redeeming the past--common subjects in Tan's novels. It is difficult to choose favorite essays as I feel they function best as a unit, but I particularly love "The Cliffnotes Version of My Life," "My Grandmother's Choice," "Fish Cheeks" and "Arrival Banquet." Tan's tone is conversational and often humorous, but her essays delve deep into questions of identity and purpose. She says,
The stories I write concern the various beliefs I have held and lost and found at various times in my life . . . I realize those beliefs most often have had to do with hope: hope and expectation, hope and disappointment, loss and hope, fate and hope, death and hope, luck and hope. They [spring] from the questions I had as a child: How did that happen? What's going to happen? How can I make things happen? [111]
I think that is why I love this book so much; it is a candid, well-written, and insightful look at life from many perspectives. It inspires empathy and thoughtfulness when relating to other people. I do not necessarily "agree" with all of the views/beliefs in this book, but I think the best books help you step outside of yourself and see things through another's eyes.
AND in case that sounds too philosophical, I'll add that this book is also incredibly entertaining and funny! :) Let me know if you read it.
March 25, 2010
I have read all of Tan's books, usually within days of release, and this was a great way to "get to know her better". You can guess at a lot of her personal life just by reading her books, with the exception of Saving Fish from Drowning: A Novel, but it was still interesting to see just what was real and what was fiction.
There was a lot of repetetiveness, but that was to be expected. It says right on the description that these are mostly personal essays and speeches written over a period of years. Things that are very important to you personally will keep coming up. Especially since those essays and speeches were originally meant as stand alones. It didn't bother me at all. Again, it just made it more clear which events had the biggest impact on Tan as a person, and in some cases, a writer.
As much as I enjoyed each entry, with the exception of Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects which I found a little too "instructive", my favorite parts were her stories about the band she belongs to, The Rock Bottom Remainders. Stephen King is a member of that band and my favorite writer, so all the little things she said about him and his wife Tabby were like bonuses for me. I was thrilled to find those references where I had not expected them.
The best entry, in my opinion, was The Opposite of Fate which chronicled her illness which went undiagnosed for years. She made it clear that doctors can make mistakes, and that we, as patients, have a responsibility and a right to do our own research. With the internet, information is available to us that our forefathers would have killed for. Actually, that some died without, to tell the truth. Had Tan not done her own research, after being told repeatedly, she had no known illness, she would not have been treated for a late stage case of Lyme disease that came very close to robbing us of her talent. I, for one, am very thankful for her stubborness and tenactiy. I would hate to lose her and can't wait to read whatever she writes next.
There was a lot of repetetiveness, but that was to be expected. It says right on the description that these are mostly personal essays and speeches written over a period of years. Things that are very important to you personally will keep coming up. Especially since those essays and speeches were originally meant as stand alones. It didn't bother me at all. Again, it just made it more clear which events had the biggest impact on Tan as a person, and in some cases, a writer.
As much as I enjoyed each entry, with the exception of Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects which I found a little too "instructive", my favorite parts were her stories about the band she belongs to, The Rock Bottom Remainders. Stephen King is a member of that band and my favorite writer, so all the little things she said about him and his wife Tabby were like bonuses for me. I was thrilled to find those references where I had not expected them.
The best entry, in my opinion, was The Opposite of Fate which chronicled her illness which went undiagnosed for years. She made it clear that doctors can make mistakes, and that we, as patients, have a responsibility and a right to do our own research. With the internet, information is available to us that our forefathers would have killed for. Actually, that some died without, to tell the truth. Had Tan not done her own research, after being told repeatedly, she had no known illness, she would not have been treated for a late stage case of Lyme disease that came very close to robbing us of her talent. I, for one, am very thankful for her stubborness and tenactiy. I would hate to lose her and can't wait to read whatever she writes next.
October 22, 2025
Tan has some laugh out loud stories in this memoir. I really enjoyed it since I’ve read most of her books. Looking forward to seeing this author tonight at YSU! It’ll be interesting to see her in person!!
October 21, 2022
Reading this autobiography made me feel like I was meeting a friend for coffee while reading it. What a beautiful feeling from such an amazing American author
February 16, 2008
This book was a pleasure to read. I don't know whether it could technically be called a memoir; it's basically a collection of mostly autobiographical essays and musings. Whatever its classification, these essays were well-written (no surprise there), interesting, provocative, and often funny. Amy Tan had just the right degree of self-deprecating humor so that she came across as refreshingly humble but not neurotic -- someone I would probably enjoy being friends with, as opposed to many other authors whose works I've enjoyed but with whom I'd probably not want to socialize (e.g., Dorothy Parker, Vladimir Nabokov, J. D. Salinger). I also liked the way she depicted her mother honestly in all her eccentric difficulty (undiagnosed borderline personality disorder, I strongly suspect), yet managed to show the affection she felt for her and the full range of their complex relationship. As hard as it must have been for her to grow up with a mother like that, Amy Tan didn't trash her, nor did she idealize her or misrepresent her behavior or their relationship. The tone of genuine affection and respect for her mother was maintained throughout, even as she described some clearly difficult encounters.
There was some overlap in content among some of the essays (which had been written at different times and for different occasions), and a few of them interested me less or felt too long. Being a die-hard Amy Tan fan, I read them all and didn't mind this. My reason for not taking off one star is that I could just as easily have skipped or skimmed those few essays which had this flaw and still fully enjoyed the book.
There was some overlap in content among some of the essays (which had been written at different times and for different occasions), and a few of them interested me less or felt too long. Being a die-hard Amy Tan fan, I read them all and didn't mind this. My reason for not taking off one star is that I could just as easily have skipped or skimmed those few essays which had this flaw and still fully enjoyed the book.
September 22, 2012
This book started out well, but after awhile it became a little tiresome. This seems to be an almost random collection of essays written by Amy Tan for various reasons that get less and less interesting as I progressed. Some of them were really interesting, and I learned all kinds of things about Ms. Tan, but some of them were kind of similar to ones I'd already read, or were just long and not that interesting. Some of them were very very funny, though, and more than one were especially insightful. It was interesting reading about her process for writing her early books. There's quite a lot about the Joy Luck Club and The Kitchen God's Wife, but there's also a nice ghostly essay on her process for writing The Hundred Secret Senses that I enjoyed. If the essays had been chosen a little more carefully and there had been less of them I probably would not have grown so bored by the end.
November 20, 2008
I just read it because my mother recommended it to me. This book is clearly written for the author's fans. Since I had no idea who she was, I found it quite self exalting.
The author describes her life and the events that inspired her novels, which were inspired by her mother and grandmother's struggles in China.
A recurring topic throughout the book is the minority issues of being a chinese american and how she has been influenced by both cultures. Another important aspect of the book has to do with spirits and life after death.
Frankly, most of the book was quite boring and uninteresting for me.
The author describes her life and the events that inspired her novels, which were inspired by her mother and grandmother's struggles in China.
A recurring topic throughout the book is the minority issues of being a chinese american and how she has been influenced by both cultures. Another important aspect of the book has to do with spirits and life after death.
Frankly, most of the book was quite boring and uninteresting for me.
March 18, 2024
I found The Opposite of Fate to be incredibly well-meaning, but a bit too disjointed as a reading experience. To Tan's credit, she prefaces the work as "a book of musings" and delivers exactly that, but the work so desperately wants to be a memoir. Thus, despite the warning, it is jarring when stories are told multiple times and each time as if it is the reader's first time hearing it. I have Tan's actual memoir sitting on my shelf right now, and I am excited to see what a tapestry she weaves when it is through-composed.
Despite 'disjointed' being my overall impression, there are several pieces that are clear stand-outs. Of these, "Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects" is especially thought-provoking. In it, Tan discusses her relationship with the epithets "Chinese-American writer", "minority writer", "writer of color", and so on. She makes the keen point that these associations often come with an unspoken (or, sometimes, very outspoken) duty to champion one's race or culture to (white) readers. For example, The Joy Luck Club addresses Chinese culture and the Chinese-American experience, and is thus featured in the syllabi of innumerable ethic studies syllabi--but never, Tan notes, in American literature syllabi. Indeed, Tan explains that she was not writing with explicitly multicultural intent, but simply to tell a story. I was thus convicted that my recent review of The Joy Luck Club fixated mostly on the cultural elements and not the stories themselves.
Many pieces in The Opposite of Fate contain such keen insights and always Tan's strong voice as a writer--but I think I prefer to experience these in the context of her full-length works.
Despite 'disjointed' being my overall impression, there are several pieces that are clear stand-outs. Of these, "Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects" is especially thought-provoking. In it, Tan discusses her relationship with the epithets "Chinese-American writer", "minority writer", "writer of color", and so on. She makes the keen point that these associations often come with an unspoken (or, sometimes, very outspoken) duty to champion one's race or culture to (white) readers. For example, The Joy Luck Club addresses Chinese culture and the Chinese-American experience, and is thus featured in the syllabi of innumerable ethic studies syllabi--but never, Tan notes, in American literature syllabi. Indeed, Tan explains that she was not writing with explicitly multicultural intent, but simply to tell a story. I was thus convicted that my recent review of The Joy Luck Club fixated mostly on the cultural elements and not the stories themselves.
Many pieces in The Opposite of Fate contain such keen insights and always Tan's strong voice as a writer--but I think I prefer to experience these in the context of her full-length works.
May 25, 2021
After watching Amy Tan on American Masters, I decided to see if there were any I hadn't read and found this which I thoroughly enjoyed. Basically an autobiography, she describes her childhood and early life as well as exactly how she goes about writing her books and many details of her mother's life and experiences.
October 2, 2025
I feel like I read this book at exactly the time in my life that I needed to read it, especially the essay titled “Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects,” which if you search online is available for free in pdf form from JSTOR.
I really enjoyed the audiobook since it was read by Amy Tan herself! Felt like I was listening to a friend tell me about her life.
I really enjoyed the audiobook since it was read by Amy Tan herself! Felt like I was listening to a friend tell me about her life.
December 17, 2022
Well written, interesting and informative. A very personal glimpse into Amy Tan’s life, history, and legacy. It’s gratifying to this reader to see how an author goes about constructing their work.
Read
May 27, 20245 stars
January 3, 2025
Bits and pieces from Amy Tan’s life and experiences filled with humor and insight.
August 26, 2022
I don’t often love non-fiction, but Tan’s story of her life is so interesting, especially combined with her writing style. Loved this one!
October 27, 2014
Though bookstores and book clubs bill this as a memoir, it is really a collection of essays and speeches originally published for other purposes. Though I would love to read an actual autobiography written by Tan, this is an excellent anthology, and I cannot deny it the five stars it deserves.
Tan writes about a wide range of experiences, from contracting Lyme disease to writing the screen play of The Joy Luck Club for Disney. It was nice to see somebody say something positive about Disney for once.
But if there is one really urgent entreaty nestled amongst the wide variety of topics addressed here, it is this: Tan would like to be released from her pigeon hole. Though the large number of her books sold is both profitable and gratifying, she feels both awkward and a trifle outraged as well at having been labeled by the press, by school districts who require that her stories be read, and by any number of other sources as an Asian-American writer, or a writer of color. What, she asks, is required just to be called an American writer? She was born in the USA. It’s accurate to say that she has written a lot of stories, both fictional and true, about her mother, who was born in China. But Tan takes exception to being held up as the one person who is supposed to represent all Asian-American writers.
One might imagine other Asian American writers would take even greater exception, if they could be heard.
I confess that I am at least partially among the guilty, having created an Asian studies label on my own bookshelves. Actually, since I am married to a Japanese citizen, the titles written by and about Asian Americans are crowded by vastly more titles written in Japanese, which take a number of bookcases all by themselves. This is not something that happens in most American homes. But yes, I have also regarded Tan as an Asian-American writer, and she is right in saying that regardless of pigmentation or ethnic background, her prose has won her a place on our shelves. Marketing be damned.
I reflected a bit here. My youngest daughter is half Japanese, half Caucasian. We named her for her Japanese grandmother, and we started attempting to teach her Japanese when she was quite young. She has been to Japan and met relatives there. Yet she would rather be regarded as an American rather than an Asian-American. She pointed out to me that my own side of her counts too; does anyone call her an Irish-American because one parent is of Irish descent?
The score stands at parents 0, offspring 1.
But Tan also reminds us that our lives are not about what has happened to us—and she certainly does a fine job of recounting her own varied, sometimes bizarre experiences—but about whether we take charge of them. In the final essay, “The Opposite of Fate”, she contracts Lime disease and it continues to ravage her health and interfere with her writing until she does a comprehensive web-crawl and diagnoses it herself. Leaving the mystery for physicians to unravel hasn’t helped, and so she does what needs doing. That having been done, the official, medical diagnosis and treatment are fairly straight-forward. The cure isn’t easy or quick, but progress is made steadily. She took ownership of her problem, advocated for herself, and received treatment.
Though the message inherent in the title seems obvious, I find it powerful. Most of us know someone—perhaps even in the family—who seems to ride through life helpless and riddled with excuses for everything. There is nothing for these folks that can’t wait another day, and sometimes another and yet another. They don’t “do” things; things “happen”.
I confess it makes me crazy.
Thus I found Tan’s essays keenly satisfying. She tells hilarious stories sometimes, while others are poignant, but all of them involve decisions at some level, though not always up front and pointed. She doesn’t preach, but she also doesn’t duck and cover. When life presents challenges, she rises to meet them.
One could, of course, say that in publishing these stories, she has created a powerful example for Asian-American girls. But one really shouldn’t.
Because the fact is, she has presented a strong, positive example for everybody.
Tan writes about a wide range of experiences, from contracting Lyme disease to writing the screen play of The Joy Luck Club for Disney. It was nice to see somebody say something positive about Disney for once.
But if there is one really urgent entreaty nestled amongst the wide variety of topics addressed here, it is this: Tan would like to be released from her pigeon hole. Though the large number of her books sold is both profitable and gratifying, she feels both awkward and a trifle outraged as well at having been labeled by the press, by school districts who require that her stories be read, and by any number of other sources as an Asian-American writer, or a writer of color. What, she asks, is required just to be called an American writer? She was born in the USA. It’s accurate to say that she has written a lot of stories, both fictional and true, about her mother, who was born in China. But Tan takes exception to being held up as the one person who is supposed to represent all Asian-American writers.
One might imagine other Asian American writers would take even greater exception, if they could be heard.
I confess that I am at least partially among the guilty, having created an Asian studies label on my own bookshelves. Actually, since I am married to a Japanese citizen, the titles written by and about Asian Americans are crowded by vastly more titles written in Japanese, which take a number of bookcases all by themselves. This is not something that happens in most American homes. But yes, I have also regarded Tan as an Asian-American writer, and she is right in saying that regardless of pigmentation or ethnic background, her prose has won her a place on our shelves. Marketing be damned.
I reflected a bit here. My youngest daughter is half Japanese, half Caucasian. We named her for her Japanese grandmother, and we started attempting to teach her Japanese when she was quite young. She has been to Japan and met relatives there. Yet she would rather be regarded as an American rather than an Asian-American. She pointed out to me that my own side of her counts too; does anyone call her an Irish-American because one parent is of Irish descent?
The score stands at parents 0, offspring 1.
But Tan also reminds us that our lives are not about what has happened to us—and she certainly does a fine job of recounting her own varied, sometimes bizarre experiences—but about whether we take charge of them. In the final essay, “The Opposite of Fate”, she contracts Lime disease and it continues to ravage her health and interfere with her writing until she does a comprehensive web-crawl and diagnoses it herself. Leaving the mystery for physicians to unravel hasn’t helped, and so she does what needs doing. That having been done, the official, medical diagnosis and treatment are fairly straight-forward. The cure isn’t easy or quick, but progress is made steadily. She took ownership of her problem, advocated for herself, and received treatment.
Though the message inherent in the title seems obvious, I find it powerful. Most of us know someone—perhaps even in the family—who seems to ride through life helpless and riddled with excuses for everything. There is nothing for these folks that can’t wait another day, and sometimes another and yet another. They don’t “do” things; things “happen”.
I confess it makes me crazy.
Thus I found Tan’s essays keenly satisfying. She tells hilarious stories sometimes, while others are poignant, but all of them involve decisions at some level, though not always up front and pointed. She doesn’t preach, but she also doesn’t duck and cover. When life presents challenges, she rises to meet them.
One could, of course, say that in publishing these stories, she has created a powerful example for Asian-American girls. But one really shouldn’t.
Because the fact is, she has presented a strong, positive example for everybody.
October 22, 2021
First time I’ve heard of an author approving the movie version of their book. Explains the complicated process of turning a complete book into a movie.
There are no words for certain emotions and concepts, added to cultural translation concepts between languages it is amazing humans learned to love and live together at all.
Thank you Amy Tan.
There are no words for certain emotions and concepts, added to cultural translation concepts between languages it is amazing humans learned to love and live together at all.
Thank you Amy Tan.
February 22, 2011
After reading her memoir and finding out that so much in her books was based on her life, I empathized with Tan even more. I especially loved the stories about her mother's dementia, as it shows the true connection between mother and daughter. The answer to "When will you be home?" is not a specific time and date, but "We're almost home, because we love you so so much and can't wait to see you."
Parts of the memoir were funny, parts were truly sad, but I also empathized with Tan's childhood (although maybe not the Swiss boyfriend and travelling across Europe).
I love the story where Tan was 14 and crushing on the minister's son, whose family her dad invited over to dinner. Not only did Tan's mother serve the most Asian, weird-looking foods, but her family also belched loudly and said that this was the Chinese custom to show that you are satisfied. Only later did Tan learn the moral behind the dinner: her mother had prepared all her favorite foods.
Amy Tan was a dreamer, just like me. When she was in middle/high school, she would always be the one standing awkwardly on the sidelines who never got asked to dance, dreaming of being called on stage by the lead singer and being a STAR. Being chosen, and not neglected. Glamorous and not ungainly. Exotic.
And then in 1993, when she joined a rockand roll band with some other authors like Barbara Kingsolver and Stephen King, she got to be a real rockstar.
Gives me hope.
Parts of the memoir were funny, parts were truly sad, but I also empathized with Tan's childhood (although maybe not the Swiss boyfriend and travelling across Europe).
I love the story where Tan was 14 and crushing on the minister's son, whose family her dad invited over to dinner. Not only did Tan's mother serve the most Asian, weird-looking foods, but her family also belched loudly and said that this was the Chinese custom to show that you are satisfied. Only later did Tan learn the moral behind the dinner: her mother had prepared all her favorite foods.
Amy Tan was a dreamer, just like me. When she was in middle/high school, she would always be the one standing awkwardly on the sidelines who never got asked to dance, dreaming of being called on stage by the lead singer and being a STAR. Being chosen, and not neglected. Glamorous and not ungainly. Exotic.
And then in 1993, when she joined a rockand roll band with some other authors like Barbara Kingsolver and Stephen King, she got to be a real rockstar.
Gives me hope.
March 4, 2016
Buku ini lebih pas dibaca oleh orang yang sudah pernah membaca karya-karya Amy Tan. Aku sudah membaca 3 buku Amy, and love all of it. Karena buku ini adalah karya nonfiksi pertama Amy tentang perjalanan hidup yang membentuk dirinya sebagai manusia dan sebagai penulis. Bagaimana ia melepaskan diri dari masa lalu dan menggapai takdirnya sendiri. Buku yang ditulis Amy terinspirasi dari kehidupan Amy dan keluarganya, terutama ibu dan neneknya.
Membaca buku ini, seolah-olah mendengarkan Amy bercerita tentang dirinya seperti layaknya seorang teman. Buku ini semacam memoir, tapi dengan bahasa yang mengalir, tidak dilebih-lebihkan atau diindah-indahkan, layaknya percakapan yang mengasyikkan.
Membaca buku ini, seolah-olah mendengarkan Amy bercerita tentang dirinya seperti layaknya seorang teman. Buku ini semacam memoir, tapi dengan bahasa yang mengalir, tidak dilebih-lebihkan atau diindah-indahkan, layaknya percakapan yang mengasyikkan.
November 19, 2019
I loved 'The Joy Luck Club' and 'The Kitchen God's Wife', so it was fascinating to read this collection of pieces which give a perspective to Amy Tan, the writer. Because it is a collection of essays, speeches and musings, it can be a little repetitive, but it is nonetheless an interesting read.
She touches on her cultural background and the events in her life that make her the person she is. She also takes on the labelling of people by their perceived gender or cultural background, and also how misinformation is so easily disseminated and quoted as fact in this digital age.
She touches on her cultural background and the events in her life that make her the person she is. She also takes on the labelling of people by their perceived gender or cultural background, and also how misinformation is so easily disseminated and quoted as fact in this digital age.
March 30, 2019
This book was extraordinary. I originally stated this novel as part of a reading project where I was required to read a memoir, and after searching through my bookshelf, happened upon this very book. Tan provides insights on many different subjects she holds dear in her life, including the relationship she had with her mother and how much she cherishes the golden moments. Definitely a must read for any writer. Now I have to read her other works!
October 29, 2019
If you've ever read an Amy Tan book, this offers delightful insight on how she creates her characters, taking from a colorful, offtimes humorous, band of family members. It also offers a behind-the-scenes look at what writers experience in order to provide their readers with works worth investing the time to read.
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