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A Thorn in My Pocket: Temple Grandin's Mother Tells the Family Story
A Thorn in My Pocket is Eustacia Cutler's story of raising her daughter, Temple Grandin, in the conservative Leave-it-to-Beaver world of the fifties, a time when children with autism were routinely diagnosed as infant schizophrenics and banished to institutions. She tells of her fight to keep Temple in the mainstream of family, community, and school life, how Temple responded and went on to succeed, as Ms. Cutler puts it, beyond my wildest dreams. Ms. Cutler also explores the nature of the autism disorder as doctors understand it today, and how its predominant characteristics reflect our own traits in an exaggerated form.
Insightful chapters include:
And Baby Makes Three
As the Twig Is Bent
Childhood
The Separate Worlds Begin
Things Fall Apart
And Start All Over Again
The End of Childhood
Then What Happened?
Looking for the Source
The Legacy of Genes
What It Means to Be Human
Insightful chapters include:
And Baby Makes Three
As the Twig Is Bent
Childhood
The Separate Worlds Begin
Things Fall Apart
And Start All Over Again
The End of Childhood
Then What Happened?
Looking for the Source
The Legacy of Genes
What It Means to Be Human
277 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 1, 2004
34 people are currently reading
1162 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews
July 27, 2011
If you're looking for the secret to Temple Grandin's emergence from autism, you are not going to find it here. In fact, much of the book doesn't focus on autism at all--it is clearly the story of Eustacia Cutler, a fascinating woman in her own right, who just happens to be the mother of the even more fascinating Temple Grandin. Her story of autism, however, is one of determination--at a time when most everyone, including her own husband (but eventual ex-husband)--thought that Temple should be institutionalized. One of the best pieces of advice for parenting autism in this book is the discussion of puberty. Cutler discusses how Temple was in a boarding school at this time and how she was frustrated with what she saw as Temple's lack of progress at this time, both socially and academically. A teacher at the school advised her to leave Temple alone--puberty was enough to deal with at this point--and that when she was ready, she would move forward. And this did prove to be the case. Temple herself, writes about how her anxiety increased a lot at the time of puberty and her mother's view of just letting her deal with that proved to the right course. The other thing that I loved in this book is the comparison of autistic children to the stories of fairies snatching children and leaving a fairy child in its place. Something about this comparison really resonated with me in describing some of our beautiful children. Uta Frith has seen evidence of autism throughout history in the description of 'blessed fools' and possibly in feral children, but I see the fairy story as the most fitting. Worth reading for anyone trying to understand more about autism or Temple herself, but if you really want pointers on parenting autism, look at some of the other choices on my bookshelf. This one is not likely to give a lot of specifics.
May 24, 2009
Eustacia Cutler is the mother of Temple Grandin, probably the most well known autistic adult of our time. I heard both Cutler and Grandin speak at a conference a few years ago and she did an excellent job. The book is not as well put together as the lecture was. Another reviewer at goodreads suggested that she missed an opportunity for better editing by publishing with Future Horizons and I find that an excellent point. The narrative skipped over great portions of her life with Temple and dwelled far too long on Cutler's own efforts in the arts. I did not expect a "how-to" book on raising an autistic child, but I was reading the book because she was Temple Grandin's mother, not because I was interested in her career as a singer and actress.
That said, I am still glad I read it. There were just enough tidbits about a fascinating subject to make it worth my time.
That said, I am still glad I read it. There were just enough tidbits about a fascinating subject to make it worth my time.
July 21, 2016
I've read so much about Temple Grandin that I was more than curious to read her mother's book. I was not disappointed. Some complain that she is telling her life story and not Temple's but that is exactly what she said she was going to do in the prologue. She is an amazing woman and has a great story to tell. She admits that she doesn't have the answers. She is a mother who followed her heart and her instincts. It was a difficult path but she didn't give up. This was a very interesting book that I just couldn't put down.
June 22, 2009
Just finished this....on my Autism read-a-thon. A very good book from a parents perspective.
January 6, 2022
I found this book fascinating and informative. What a challenge the author faced! She did a remarkable job both as a mother and as a writer.
January 25, 2023
A book written by Temple Grandin’s mother. I was fascinated by the family story and her challenging experience in a very different time than my own of raising a child on the spectrum. I’m impressed with their efforts in pioneering a new path for autism- mother and daughter. Both have given me hope in my own life’s experiences.
June 22, 2015
“In the rush to hear the bizarre details of autism, the world brushes aside the toll it takes on its caregivers and this indifference contributes to the guilt all parents carry.”
This book is for the parents, written by one herself--written out of compassion and wonderfully so. I've seen some criticism for this book to the effect that it doesn't offer enough specific help to those parenting a child or children on the autism spectrum. If the aid you are looking for is a solution to your child's "condition" then no, this book isn't the answer, and I highly doubt you will find a book that has that answer. There are some wonderful books out there on specific battles within the autistic war-- such as how to help children on the spectrum with reading comprehension, or how to relate emotionally with a partner who is on the spectrum, and those books are of immense value, but this is not of that kind, and yet its value is 10 fold that of the others. Why? Because she's been there, and she's honest, and she's relatable-- maybe not in every way, but as a mother who is fighting the battle for and with her child-- you can count on her words for empathy. She explains her motives perfectly in her prologue:
“I’ve arrived late to this task. Putting the years into words for an audience hasn’t been easy, so I’ve taken my cue from Robert Frost who said, ‘I teach to find kindred spirits, to comfort them and myself.’ In the process of that, I’ve learned how the parents of autistic children suffer from a loss of their own sense of self. We all know that a baby needs a mother to know she’s a baby, but, equally true, a mother needs a baby to know she’s a mother. When those first infant/mother responses can’t grow, a whole family identity is thrown out of kilter. I understand that far better now, from the vantage point of years, than I could when I was young. I understand, too, how much parents long to be good parents. The purpose of my lectures is to find them and comfort them in their never ending battle with autism.”
She also reminds us that autism is not a disease, it is a part of the identity of the people touched by it, both those with autistic traits, and those family and loved ones that surround them. This is perhaps my favorite line in the entire book, one worth meditating on:
“Autism isn’t an exotic disorder, out there somewhere on its own, the fault of mercury or inoculations, waiting to be ‘cured’ if we throw enough money at it. Autism is an exaggeration of what lies in us all.”
This book is for the parents, written by one herself--written out of compassion and wonderfully so. I've seen some criticism for this book to the effect that it doesn't offer enough specific help to those parenting a child or children on the autism spectrum. If the aid you are looking for is a solution to your child's "condition" then no, this book isn't the answer, and I highly doubt you will find a book that has that answer. There are some wonderful books out there on specific battles within the autistic war-- such as how to help children on the spectrum with reading comprehension, or how to relate emotionally with a partner who is on the spectrum, and those books are of immense value, but this is not of that kind, and yet its value is 10 fold that of the others. Why? Because she's been there, and she's honest, and she's relatable-- maybe not in every way, but as a mother who is fighting the battle for and with her child-- you can count on her words for empathy. She explains her motives perfectly in her prologue:
“I’ve arrived late to this task. Putting the years into words for an audience hasn’t been easy, so I’ve taken my cue from Robert Frost who said, ‘I teach to find kindred spirits, to comfort them and myself.’ In the process of that, I’ve learned how the parents of autistic children suffer from a loss of their own sense of self. We all know that a baby needs a mother to know she’s a baby, but, equally true, a mother needs a baby to know she’s a mother. When those first infant/mother responses can’t grow, a whole family identity is thrown out of kilter. I understand that far better now, from the vantage point of years, than I could when I was young. I understand, too, how much parents long to be good parents. The purpose of my lectures is to find them and comfort them in their never ending battle with autism.”
She also reminds us that autism is not a disease, it is a part of the identity of the people touched by it, both those with autistic traits, and those family and loved ones that surround them. This is perhaps my favorite line in the entire book, one worth meditating on:
“Autism isn’t an exotic disorder, out there somewhere on its own, the fault of mercury or inoculations, waiting to be ‘cured’ if we throw enough money at it. Autism is an exaggeration of what lies in us all.”
November 22, 2014
What most readers who pick up a memoir by the mother of Temple Grandin want to know is: how did she do it? How did she parent Temple so successfully that she realized her potential against such tremendous odds? I wanted to know the answer to that question too, but I also believed that the woman who gave birth to Temple Grandin must also be pretty awesome. I was convinced that Eustacia Cutler’s own life story would be of value, and it turned out that I was right.
First, it’s important to realize that when Temple was born the psychiatric establishment believed that autism was a kind of schizophrenia. We now know that autism is an alternate form of brain organization, but in the late 1940’s children like Temple were just thrown away by their parents, and placed in institutions where they received no education whatsoever because no one believed that they were educable. Eustacia Cutler always believed in her daughter’s abilities.
Unfortunately, the research that Cutler did on autism was based on the false premise that autism manifests the same way in all individuals with autism. Over time, we have learned that there are variations in autism. Temple’s book, The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum, taught me about this diversity among autists. Yet when Eustacia Cutler wrote Thorn in My Pocket, she apparently believed that all individuals with autism were like her daughter.
So the value of this book isn’t in what it tells us about autism. Its value is historical. It tells us about the social context in which Temple Grandin grew up. We learn about Temple’s upbringing, her family and heritage.
I found Thorn In My Pocket to be very compelling reading. If you are interested in Temple Grandin and the influences that shaped her life, you may be just as fascinated by it.
For my complete review see http://wwwbookbabe.blogspot.com/2014/...
First, it’s important to realize that when Temple was born the psychiatric establishment believed that autism was a kind of schizophrenia. We now know that autism is an alternate form of brain organization, but in the late 1940’s children like Temple were just thrown away by their parents, and placed in institutions where they received no education whatsoever because no one believed that they were educable. Eustacia Cutler always believed in her daughter’s abilities.
Unfortunately, the research that Cutler did on autism was based on the false premise that autism manifests the same way in all individuals with autism. Over time, we have learned that there are variations in autism. Temple’s book, The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum, taught me about this diversity among autists. Yet when Eustacia Cutler wrote Thorn in My Pocket, she apparently believed that all individuals with autism were like her daughter.
So the value of this book isn’t in what it tells us about autism. Its value is historical. It tells us about the social context in which Temple Grandin grew up. We learn about Temple’s upbringing, her family and heritage.
I found Thorn In My Pocket to be very compelling reading. If you are interested in Temple Grandin and the influences that shaped her life, you may be just as fascinated by it.
For my complete review see http://wwwbookbabe.blogspot.com/2014/...
March 14, 2010
I had thought the book would be about a mother's story of raising an autistic child, in this case the well known Temple Grandin, but I found the book to be too much about the mother and her career and marital issues and not enough about what raising an autistic child was really like. A huge missed opportunity, in my mind, especially when considering the fact that autism was thought to be "infant schizophrenia" at this time and the recommended "treatment" was to put the child in a mental home. Little did the family realize that the course of action they took to raise Temple would eventually be determined as spot on, decades later.
February 21, 2012
Although the reason I bought this book was because of the fact that Eustacia Cuttler and I both have a child with Autism, it ended up helping me in many more parts of my life. I appreciate her honesty into her feelings as she grows and matures. Her hindsight into her life is something that every woman can learn from. It is no wonder to me that Eustacia Cuttler was able to help create such an American Hero as Temple Grandin. I am now a fan of both.
February 16, 2014
Fascinating story of a young mother trying to raise a child with autism during a time when there was little to no medical understanding or community support--just a mother's instincts, and fortunately enough money in the family to make it work. Eustacia is a rather remarkable woman in her own right. This is a fascinating and helpful book on the subject of autism. Sort of reminded me of my mom, to tell the truth.
October 28, 2008
This is the first time since my son was diagnosed with autism that I've seen someone express what I've always believed, that autism is an exaggeration of the normal. Interesting that this statement came from another mother -- Temple Grandin's mother. This was an interesting read, though not terribly pulled together. Still it did hold my attention.
November 19, 2014
This was a beautifully written book. Easy to read, quite enjoyable. The author who is Temple Grandin's mom is very open about their life. Anyone wanting to learn more about Autism/Asperger's Syndrome this is the book to read and own. I recommend this book highly.
December 9, 2014
Ever since I saw the Temple Grandin movie I have been so interested in her story! It is fascinating what the brain can do. I love her mothers persistence, her fight to help her daughter any way she could, her dedication to the research of autism. What a powerful mother she is!
May 28, 2017
The book starts out with this:
An image haunts me.
Temple, just turned three, is lying in a hospital bed. A nurse leans over her, gluing wires to her scalp.
Terrified, Temple struggles and screams. I try to soothe her –and myself–telling her it won’t hurt, that it’s only wires, telling myself to practice distancing as the medics do. Yes, just withdraw into that safe place where everything is reduced to an interesting research study, a laboratory haven unconnected to feeling.
But Temple’s haven is dangerous, her brain has trapped her in an icy limbo where she must live each day denied response. I hold onto her hand and vow I won’t let her freeze to death in that tempting snowdrift, so I, too, mustn’t go there or we’ll both freeze.
This passage seems to summarize the entire book. Temple’s mother trying to prevent them both from freezing each other out through lack of understanding. After reading this first passage, the tears started flowing and I wasn’t sure I would be able to finish the book. Ms. Cutler is very apt though in providing the type of encouragement a mother of a child with special needs craves. Not empty promises, not a ritual to follow, but just a shared experience. She puts it this way:
I offer you my story as a promise of that, an overall insight to carry with you as a talisman. And I promise that in the future, to your surprise, your dreams with have changed, and changed you.
I know that’s not what you want.
What you want is a real talisman, a magic something you think I conjured up to coax Temple into joining life as you hope your child will.
There was no magic, there was just doing the best I could. That’s the point, that’s the talisman.
And never letting go of hope.
Such a fantastic book!
An image haunts me.
Temple, just turned three, is lying in a hospital bed. A nurse leans over her, gluing wires to her scalp.
Terrified, Temple struggles and screams. I try to soothe her –and myself–telling her it won’t hurt, that it’s only wires, telling myself to practice distancing as the medics do. Yes, just withdraw into that safe place where everything is reduced to an interesting research study, a laboratory haven unconnected to feeling.
But Temple’s haven is dangerous, her brain has trapped her in an icy limbo where she must live each day denied response. I hold onto her hand and vow I won’t let her freeze to death in that tempting snowdrift, so I, too, mustn’t go there or we’ll both freeze.
This passage seems to summarize the entire book. Temple’s mother trying to prevent them both from freezing each other out through lack of understanding. After reading this first passage, the tears started flowing and I wasn’t sure I would be able to finish the book. Ms. Cutler is very apt though in providing the type of encouragement a mother of a child with special needs craves. Not empty promises, not a ritual to follow, but just a shared experience. She puts it this way:
I offer you my story as a promise of that, an overall insight to carry with you as a talisman. And I promise that in the future, to your surprise, your dreams with have changed, and changed you.
I know that’s not what you want.
What you want is a real talisman, a magic something you think I conjured up to coax Temple into joining life as you hope your child will.
There was no magic, there was just doing the best I could. That’s the point, that’s the talisman.
And never letting go of hope.
Such a fantastic book!
February 5, 2019
A long time reader and fan of Temple Grandin, I am glad I hunted down this book for purchase. I noticed in some of the comments that this book was not as much about raising an autistic child as they had thought it would. Well, certainly it was about raising an autistic child, in the aftermath of World War II and it's limitations on all sorts of people, women, disabled children, anyone with mental difficulties. I thought it was well told, and actually did an excellent job of skirting what must have been tremendous mental abuse of Eustacia by her husband while he pressured her to give up on their daughter. Frankly, she is an inspiration for her own accomplishments as well as her child rearing.
August 25, 2022
An interesting adjunct to Temple Grandin's books about herself and autism. It is sort of memoir style from the mother - recollections of not only Temple, but of herself and other members of the family, especially the father who wanted to institutionalize the child. I didn't realize that they were "privileged", which certainly helped in raising Temple to be self-sufficient, and despite being blamed as a "refrigerator mother" (this was the era of Bettelheim), mom had the fortitude to fight for Temple. Fast read.
July 16, 2019
I went into this expecting to get some insights on the path of parenting a child with autism, and while there were interesting glimmers of that, I was let down by the book. I know that Temple grew up in a different time period but I was deeply bothered by the archaic terms used to describe people with disabilities. I felt that the book jumped around and at times I was confused by Eustacia's imagery.
October 16, 2023
Eustacia Cutler is the mother of Temple Grandin. The book has a little here and there about Temple and that is when she is taking Temple to Doctors, psychiatrists and schools trying to figure out how to deal and help her. Eustacia's husband, Temple's father, is a jerk and so happy she figured it out before he destroyed things further and divorced him. The book as a whole is a dry read and just did not develop enough to make me want to give it more than two stars.
May 21, 2017
This should be compulsory reading for anyone with a family member on the autism spectrum. Temple Grandin's mother tells her story of the impact of living with a child with Asperger's Syndrome, and while the focus is often on the needs of the child, this helps understand the impact on the parents, and deals with some of the issues (such as guilt and self-blame) they face.
January 24, 2018
This book written by the mother of Temple Grandin that will be of great interest to any parent with a autistic child. Ms. Cutler who as a degree in English literature from Harvard University tells her story with great verve and style. This is one of the best in the generally horrid catalog of testimonial books on autism.
January 21, 2024
“ I saw the movie, Temple Grandin, which was so good. Her mom wrote this book”.
Temples mom wrote about her life living with Temple who has autism.
“ I did not learn much about autism in this book. First part of book was ok, middle was extremely boring for me, end was ok.
I would like to read the book, Thinking in pictures and other reports of my life with autism.
Temples mom wrote about her life living with Temple who has autism.
“ I did not learn much about autism in this book. First part of book was ok, middle was extremely boring for me, end was ok.
I would like to read the book, Thinking in pictures and other reports of my life with autism.
April 21, 2019
This is a very interesting book. I just read My Life in Pictures by Temple Grandin and this book is a good follow-up. It gives another perspective of autism from the mother's point of view. It also gives us a window into Eustacia Cutler's life.
May 25, 2019
Fascinating insight into the world of Temple Grandin and her family. Also interesting to see how autism was treated during that timeframe and the changes in understanding throughout the past several decades.
April 27, 2018
This was not the book I expected. It was more of a blaming book about all the people that were against her, which was assumed but didn’t sit well with me.
July 26, 2018
Wonderful personal story of Temple Grandin's mother's life living with Temple and the rest of the family. I enjoyed her triumphs and struggles.
Read
July 6, 2019Not the smoothest writing style, a bit disjointed by author's personal perspective disrupting the flow.
May 26, 2020
Thank you for sharing your experience & knowledge.
It takes time to grasp and understand the complexities of Autism- every little bit of information helps.
It takes time to grasp and understand the complexities of Autism- every little bit of information helps.
March 16, 2021
Started good and had some good information about how the autistic mind thinks, but not enough. There was more about Temple's mother's life than about Temple's and her relationship and life.
April 23, 2021
Really enjoyable read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 84 reviews