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216 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 10, 2026
Pseudonymous the Elder’s first book—Success in Spelling 5—was compared unfavorably by critics to the 1973 U.S. Federal Income Tax Tables. After retiring from publishing in 2017, Pseudo moved into the lucrative field of book review, mainly as a form of vengeance on his former employers. Pseudo lives in a secret hideaway somewhere near the shores of a Great Lake, where he supports his wife, 24 children, 6 grandmothers, 7 great-grandmothers, and a large pack of vicious wolves. The wolves aren’t much interested in Pseudo’s welfare, but if there are any disappointed authors out there who want to drop by to debate the relative merits of his reviews, Pseudo warns them that the grandmothers and great-grandmothers will not put up with any hanky-panky in the house—especially floggings, tar-and-feathering, rail riding, lynchings and duels to the death. Those writers who have received low scores from Pseudo should take comfort in knowing that your scribblings will not go to waste: Pseudo donates your books to prisons, jails, gulags, dungeons, detention centers, and DMV offices where there are people who deserve to be punished.
He is a man of good birth and excellent education, endowed by nature with a phenomenal mathematical faculty. At the age of twenty-one he wrote a treatise upon the Binomial Theorem, which has had a European vogue. On the strength of it he won the Mathematical Chair at one of our smaller universities, and had, to all appearances, a most brilliant career before him.I'm sorry, but to any mathematician this is just plain stupid. It just gets worse from there. Moriarty (whose first name may be James or Robert or something else depending on which specific Holmes story you're reading) is just not scary. He's a criminal mastermind only because Watson and Holmes say he is. Nothing that he does leads you to that conclusion.