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The Night the White Deer Died

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An Indian brave stands poised to shoot a white deer drinking from a pool of water in the moonlight. It is only a dream—a recurring nightmare that haunts 15-year-old Janet Carson—but it is a dream that will change her life forever.
Janet, one of the few Anglo teens in the New Mexico art colony where she lives with her mother, feels isolated and alone. For some reason, she is drawn to Billy Honcho, an old, alcoholic Indian who begs for money from her. As they get to know each other, the meaning of Janet's nightmare grows clear, and Billy becomes the brave in her dream.

112 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1978

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About the author

Gary Paulsen

413 books4,013 followers
Gary James Paulsen was an American writer of children's and young adult fiction, best known for coming-of-age stories about the wilderness. He was the author of more than 200 books and wrote more than 200 magazine articles and short stories, and several plays, all primarily for teenagers. He won the Margaret Edwards Award from the American Library Association in 1997 for his lifetime contribution in writing for teens.

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5 stars
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85 (29%)
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97 (33%)
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43 (14%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
Profile Image for Josiah.
3,492 reviews157 followers
October 20, 2023
Gary Paulsen's early works differ somewhat from what he produced after his three Newbery Honor books, Dogsong (1986), Hatchet (1988), and The Winter Room (1990). There's an element of pagan spiritualism to many of Gary Paulsen's teen and middle-grade novels, but it was more obvious in his earlier books. The Night the White Deer Died, Tracker, and even Dancing Carl to some extent showed this belief in a Mother Earth watching over us from afar, a deity malleable to whatever traits we desire in our God. Animals and people who live primitively either by choice or necessity are closest to understanding our link to this God, and that's the starting point for comprehending The Night the White Deer Died. Having moved to an arts colony in New Mexico with her mother shortly after her parents' divorce, fifteen-year-old Janet Carson begins dreaming about a young Indian brave stalking a deer in the picturesque New Mexico wilderness. Her recurring dreams ends the same way every time, with the Indian creeping close enough to let fly an arrow toward the heart of its prey, but Janet never sees what happens next. Always she awakens before the arrow strikes true or misses its target, her own heart pounding for reasons beyond any natural ken. What is this vision trying to tell Janet, and what can she do to prepare herself to follow its lead once the dream's mandate becomes evident? A veritable outcast among the predominantly Native American population at school, and ignored for large periods of time by her mother, who's trying to forge her own reputation as a notable sculptor, Janet waits for an incontrovertible sign that her dream is more than a meaningless repeating scene in her head. But when that sign comes, she almost doesn't recognize it.

One day in town, Janet meets a middle-aged Native American named Billy Honcho. Billy's a wino whose first plea to Janet is for a dollar to purchase alcohol, but the fifty-three-year-old catches some hidden corner of Janet's fancy, and she can't get him out of her mind. She sees Billy several times over the proceeding weeks; he's usually drunk, but Janet gently attempts to pry him from the clutches of his vice, growing so bold as to lead him staggering back to her house and prepare coffee and breakfast to restore his sobriety. Janet's mother disapproves of her daughter's hungover friend but doesn't push the issue, just warns her to be wary of Billy. Janet isn't sure why she's taken on the task of straightening Billy out until the words escape her lips in conversation with the Indian before she can quiet them: she loves him, and not like a kid sister idolizes her rebel older brother. Janet's reckless confession ushers in a new stage of her relationship with Billy, who acknowledges her feelings by showing that he's capable of cleaning himself up and presenting an image more appealing than a middle-aged vagrant who can't handle his liquor. He's as striking and handsome as any man his age when he's sober, but it's the midnight ride on Billy's alabaster steed that finally puts him and Janet in a safe place to express their mutual feelings and decide what they mean, what it could conceivably lead to for a man his age to be in love with a teenage girl in 1970s America. Once upon a time, the matter would be simple enough: Billy would perform the traditional Indian wedding rite with her and they'd be joined for life in pagan matrimony, unaffected by the overwrought legalities that have crept into marriage over the centuries. As the virile Indian brave Billy would have been in another era, taking Janet to be his wife would be natural, even expected, but the standards of yesteryear aren't the same as today, where strict social protocol has hedged mankind into narrow definitions of what is acceptable. In contemporary society there is no romantic future for an alcoholic Indian and a girl nearly forty years his junior, and this chasm separates them forever from what they want most. There isn't always justice in the modern order, Janet discovers. Living in an era hostile to the needs of your heart can make you wish you'd never lived at all.

The Night the White Deer Died is written with unabating respect for the diversity of American cultures. The story's wisdom flows not from the author's understanding of the way the world works, but from his awareness of how little he—or any human—knows about the mysteries of existence. When wise words do grace the text, it's a natural trickle of experiential observation, issued with no sense of superiority to Janet or her youthful reckoning of the world. It is unadorned truth to say "all things beautiful are sometimes ugly and that many ugly things are just waiting for beauty to come to them." That is, in effect, a synopsis of The Night the White Deer Died stripped of events and character names, for what is Billy in his squalid dependency on fermented drink but ugliness personified, awaiting the innocent approach of young beauty before proving himself worthy, an old, down-on-his-luck Indian who could have aspired to so much more, and perhaps could still expand to fill that promise? Has his time truly come and gone without remedy? Things change suddenly and unpredictably, but "nothing can ever be good forever and nothing can ever be bad forever", as Janet learns both to her dismay and hope. Desire can't always overcome circumstance, but the love we treasure is ours as long as we refuse to relinquish it. It can be the purest, truest part of us even if forces beyond our control make it impossible for our feelings to ever reach their potential. But that doesn't mean it wasn't love in its best, most noble form.

I'm giving The Night the White Deer Died two and a half stars, and while I've read more complete, meaningful Gary Paulsen novels, this one hit my heart uniquely. Its treatment of love is organic and uncontrived, validating our yearnings that don't conform to the precepts of mainstream society, while offering hope that those yearnings are just as legitimate as anyone else's. That message resonates coming from Gary Paulsen, who never hesitates to deliver straight talk on how things really are. If you like the author's other books from the 1970s and '80s then you'll probably get a lot out of The Night the White Deer Died, which is as valuable for young readers today as when it first saw release in 1978. I hope Gary Paulsen fans stumble onto this obscure favorite and enjoy it for years to come.
Profile Image for Emily.
885 reviews34 followers
February 3, 2021
YIKES.

At the end of this audiobook, Gary Paulsen mumbles about how he didn't give his Indian character a tribe because all the tribes share customs nowadays, and also when he lived in New Mexico an old man fell in love with a teenager so that's okay because it's not dirty like molestation in the news. And sure, Gary, who can even tell the tribes of people apart? I mean, since Europeans adopted Christianity it's been impossible to tell the Germans from the Latvians from the Scots and the same thing is definitely true of Native Americans, and I'm sure you discussed this with your Native friends; and as long as no sex is involved it's not weird to court a girl who could be your granddaughter.

It seems that Gary Paulsen wrote this book in the late '70s but only published it in the '90s, after Hatchet won the Newberry, when his publisher was willing to publish things they probably shouldn't have.

Janet is the kind of girl who goes by Janet and never Jan. Gary Paulsen was born in 1939, back when Janet was a sexy name and not one of your aunts. She is willowy and beautiful and alone because she is the only Anglo in school in her small, nascently trendy New Mexico town and all the Chicana girls are jealous of her and the boys are too scared to ask her on dates. There is one boy named Julio (pronounced HULIO: thanks) who follows her around and shows off and he's there intermittently, hanging around. But Janet is alone, because her mother is a glamorously divorced artist and being white is hard. So hard. Janet walks alone to the central square and a drunken Native American asks her for a dollar so he can get loaded and Janet says she has a dollar at home so he leads her home: he knows where she lives. Then she looks out for him when she is in town, because her soul recognizes something in his soul and she's been having this dream about an Indian shooting a deer and she can't see how it ends. She brings him home and tries to feed him eggs and bacon and coffee but he passes out at her kitchen table and her mother says, "You can't do this. He's an old Indian man." Janet says, "And I'm a young white girl!" Her mother says: "I didn't say that." Well you can, mom. You don't have to invoke race here but when your sophomore daughter brings a fifty three-year-old man home and he passes out in the kitchen, you have a problem. Then he calls her a meddling white girl, and I was like, "Yes! Yes, sir! You have figured out the problem here!" But he still stands outside Janet's window and sings to her and his voice is the primal soul of all mankind hearkening back to the Earth and his fancy buckskins and beautiful music are so characteristically Native American in such a beguiling way that Janet and her mother are in awe, and Paulsen has it completely backward here: The man is singing a song "in Indian" that presumably has meaning since he's singing it in his language, and dressing up and listening to music are pretty much universal ways of courtship. Janet's mother refuses to let Janet go with him but then he looks into her eyes and they read each other's minds and he and Janet go off, and they spend a day in the mountains where he complains that young Indians drive trucks and don't take time for courtship, so obviously courting and imparting his knowledge to a white kid is the better way, and then Janet leaves him to die in the mountains and sees the end of her dream and goes back to high school.

This book is awful. I feel gross for having read it. And the misogyny. Gary Paulsen has no concept of what women want, or how women function, or how women are used to being harassed by plenty of people, including begging alcoholics, and by fifteen our hackles are up and we're not willing to have drunken old man friends. His descriptions of Janet's beauty are straight out of a "men describing women" meme. If the racism and misogyny cancelled each other out, this book would still not have a plot. I did not enjoy this. The audiobook was only three hours long, thank God. I started it driving up to St. Cloud this morning and I was going to dnf it when I got home but by then I only had twenty minutes left, and most of them were mumbly Paulsen. Do not read.
Profile Image for Parris Young.
19 reviews
September 17, 2014
Many years ago I read a review of this book by a school teacher. She said it was a horrible book and not fit for young people. In other words, she understood not a word of it.
. . . The Night the White Deer Died is possibly the finest story I have ever read. What distinguishes this book/story from fully adult literature is its length -- too long for a conventional poem and too short for a novel. It is much like an adult novel minus the wasted words, the small talk, the unnecessary drama, the superfluous descriptions and places, the plethora of characters. This is a story told as young people, as children, love to hear; a story that goes from nugget to nugget.
. . . I was deeply moved by the tale which is a polished gem. A straight shot of some beverage distilled from the zone between the concrete of every day and the magical land of archetype and imagination and, of course, genuine love.
. . . It is a teaching about love. Not a story of infatuation, obsession, admiration, or convention. It is a story about the love that can open a mind and a heart and loosen the passage way between what we know and what is possible.
. . . If I were to require my class to read this I would tell them up front: When you finish this story you may think it is very sad. I want you to think about why it is not sorrowful.
Profile Image for LuAnn.
1,164 reviews
March 19, 2018
A lyrical vignette about the love between an aging alcoholic Native American and the teenage girl who befriends him. The tone is respectful and evocative of a lifestyle lost and how one’s persons caring can affect another. The main characters are well-drawn and I particularly like the relationship between Janet and her mother.
Profile Image for Jackalacka.
602 reviews4 followers
May 15, 2018
I get the mystical fantasy, soul mates from different generations falling in love, sort of like Harold & Maude, but I'm wondering what anybody who is Hopi thinks of it. Did Paulsen interview members of the tribe? At one point, I cringed at a sentence that said that the main character was "speaking Indian". WTF? I enjoy Paulsen's other YA literature but thinking this one is off.
Profile Image for Tony Petry.
195 reviews4 followers
June 3, 2015
Not one of my favorites by Gary Paulsen, but still a good read. It was written in a very poetic style that kept me drawn in. The book is more of a novella and didn't pick up till midway through but I still enjoyed it.
Profile Image for Tara Sypien.
355 reviews6 followers
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May 3, 2023
My book cover is way prettier. This is a strange story and I can't get over the fact that Janet is a teen and Billy in middle age. Wrong.
Profile Image for Cathy.
487 reviews1 follower
October 10, 2015
I'm not really sure I fully understand the book. As always I love reading the words Gary Paulsen puts on the pages and the images and feelings the words evoke, but this time I'm just not sure I got the message. Still, I'm glad I read it. I liked Billy Honcho, and I liked Janet and her mother. I at first felt sorry for Billy, but by the end of the story, I admired him. I don't think I'd recommend it to my 8th graders to read -- I found myself wondering if it wasn't really an adult story rather than young adult -- but to people who are interested in Native American culture, I might recommend it.
1 review
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January 7, 2020
The Night the White Deer Died is a book about 15 year old Janet. After her mother's divorce Janet and her mother move to an Indian reservation in New Mexico. It is when she moves she begins to have a strange dream, a pale white deer in the middle of a clearing next to a pond. This deer puts Janet in a trance, the deer is beautiful. It is while she is standing there the deer is shot by an unknown man and every time she tries to look at the man the dream ends.

Janet has not transitioned well to the new environment, she is an attractive girl and very shy. She has always been a loner and accepted that. One fateful day she meets Billy. Billy is an old Indian who is a drunk, when he runs into Janet he asks if she has a dollar she can give him for wine. Janet is overcome with a feeling she has never felt, she agrees to give him the dollar but wonders why she felt that way. One day she came to the revelation that the hunter in her dream is billy.

I enjoyed this book because it diverts from what you think is going to happen. You never know how it is going to turn out and the suspense is well done. It adds more when you think it is done. For example, it turns out that Billy was the town's old mayor. When Janet learns this she asks questions about the past of the town. I would recommend this book to a friend because the book tells an interesting story and holds your attention and is hard to put down. As you can see this a fantastic book and I encourage you to read it.
2 reviews
January 21, 2019
There was this guy named Zach and Zach had life really good. It was summertime and his mother and father were away on a business trip so he had the house all to himself for the whole summer. Zach worked at the public swimming pool as a lifeguard as a part time job. Zach would party all night with his friends and then he would go to work in the morning and Zach thought he could do no wrong until it did. Zach had stayed up all night partying so he was tired for the next day at work he thought being a lifeguard was only ninety percent looking the part and just sitting there and relaxing the rest. On that day Zach fell asleep while on duty and that’s when his life would change forever. There was a woman that drowned who was trying to swim laps and her husband sought revenge on Zach so he took him to court about it and the judge brought to conclusion that she couldn't have been saved even if Zach was awake at the time of the drowning. After the trial the woman's husband wanted to kill Zach so he went to his house one day while Zach was out walking with his girlfriend and the husband came and jumped them and threw them into the car. Then he drove to a cliff and put the car in drive and got out and Zach and his girlfriend both died by going off the cliff.
Profile Image for Noelle Marshall.
516 reviews
August 10, 2024
“The dog followed her always, though she still hadn’t named him, and in a strange way, the small animal filled that part of her life that would’ve been lonely or sad.”

⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is a middle grade fiction book. It is another in my long list of Gary Paulson books to read. It was published in the late 70s so there are some outdated references of how they talk about indigenous people.

15-year-old Janet has a reoccurring dream about an Indian brave that stands poised to shoot a white deer. This dream is one that will change her forever.

Janet is one of the only white people in the in the small New Mexico art colony where she lives with her mother who is divorced. So Janet struggles to fit in. And for some strange reason, she’s drawn to a local alcoholic. He is Native American and he continues to beg her for money for wine everytime he sees her. But then they spend more and more time together, and she starts to realize that he is the brave from her dream.

This was a short read. I enjoyed it. It felt a little far-fetched that someone would let a 15-year-old hang out with the town drunk, but other than that, the story is really quick and easy to read.
9 reviews
January 21, 2020
The Night the White Deer Died by Gary Paulsen is about love and sadness. The main character, Janet Carson, is alone, sensitive and confused. The book takes place in Mexico. I like this book because it shows that age doesn't matter when you love someone! Janet, fifteen years old, feels more than just love for Billy Honcho, a old, alcoholic Indian and Billy feels the same. In Janet's dream there were a Indian man, the river, the moonlight and the deer. After she met Billy , the meaning of her nightmare was clear. She loved him because he was the Indian in the dream. She was awed by the strength of him. It was more than love she thought! There was awe in it, richness, quietness, softness and power...
Profile Image for Molly Anderson.
Author 1 book5 followers
April 25, 2021
I kept seeing this pop up in a couple places and when I went to look at reviews, saw such wildly varying ratings, I decided to give it a try. It's very short and was an easy read. I found it kind of sad and dreamy. I liked Janet. She reminded me of myself at that age; a loner who feels out of place and stuck somewhere and wishes that someone, anyone would break into her little world and give it a little meaning or at least a change of scenery. She seems like a very compassionate and patient young woman. This didn't stir any negative feelings in me; it's fiction and in my opinion, only has to represent what DID happen, and not what the reader feels SHOULD happen according to their own personal code of conduct.
Profile Image for Naomi.
853 reviews8 followers
July 4, 2023
Interesting. Weird. Not sure I understand. I read this book because it was given to me by a former teacher friend of mine a few years ago. It is a Gary Paulsen book and I usually want to read, and enjoy reading, his books, although some of them are sad. This one was strange and sad. I didn't exactly enjoy it and was a bit disappointed. That being said, I did go into it blind and I only really read it because I hadn't ever read it and then suddenlyy summer reading bingo was challenging me to read a book with a color in the title. I may not go look and see what other readers thought or if anyone has the same questions I do. Maybe that will help my understanding or processing of this story.
342 reviews8 followers
November 5, 2018
Read all the reviews then decide fir youself. I am on the fence with this one but tending more toward a 4 star. I wonder how MS audience, especially girls, receive it and take from it. Mythical, cross cultural exploration of North American aboriginal contemporary life and mythology intertwined with middle class Caucasian youth. The role of the character Julio is a mystery to me however. A novella poetically written and open to interpretation.
Profile Image for Jackie.
293 reviews2 followers
March 22, 2024
I read this a long time ago as a kid and thought it was so odd. It always stuck with me, so I decided to read it again as an adult, and maybe I would see some sort of deeper meaning, that it's not just a story about a teenage girl who falls in love with an old man. But alas. It's just a weird story about a teenage girl who falls in love with an old man.
Profile Image for Linda Hanson.
890 reviews6 followers
August 22, 2018
I really like Gary Paulson but this book just doesn't do it for me. However, I'm a little too practical and a lot too old for his target audience. It is a quick read and is thought provoking, but I'm just not a fan.
Profile Image for Cheryl.
787 reviews1 follower
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April 7, 2021
I can't rate this book because I honestly still haven't decided what I think of it. It was definitely different. I will say this--I hated the typeface used. It was crowded and difficult to read, and that was made more pronounced by the narrow pages the book has.
Profile Image for Jake Watmore.
98 reviews8 followers
September 18, 2022
Paulsen and his pros are a mix of childish and magical. Perfect for a kids author I think. I really enjoyed the book, really got into it even though it's one of his shorter books. Only about 100 pages.
1 review
June 30, 2025
I was the target audience for this novel. I was in 6th grade when I read this and I am young now and I HATED this book. The relationship between Janet and Billy Honcho was weird to say the least. And the book is riddled with misogyny and racism that even 11 year old me picked up on.
Profile Image for Janet.
14 reviews
October 10, 2023
While I like most of Paulsen's books this one was difficult for me to understand and I don't think my teens will enjoy it.
Profile Image for Deb.
891 reviews7 followers
January 10, 2025
This is written for young adults. It stumbles in a few places, but the meaning of the story is beautiful.
738 reviews4 followers
June 19, 2025
Janet is a teenager who meets an old, alcoholic Indian. She is drawn to him. A strange story about how love and friendship know no age limit.
11 reviews1 follower
August 27, 2020
I really enjoyed the book, it was a good time passer and it had an excellent way of describing things.
11 reviews
March 1, 2017
Janet made the decision, of being brave to go hunting at night, she didn't know that shooting a particular white deer, would change her life forever. After she shoots the deer, she cant get the image out of her mind of the deer dying. She has a reoccurring dream about it, little did she know, that those dreams would help her. She met many amazing people along the way of trying to stop these dreams, we see Janet go through good, and bad times.
I thought this book was actually a pretty good read, sometimes the book got a little confusing, but besides that, I really liked how the author detailed their book. So yeah, overall, I think this book is good.
Profile Image for Brooke.
6 reviews
September 30, 2024
Picked up a used copy for 4 dollars. I love the Laurel Leaf watercolor-style cover. I’d love to find out who the artist is. (Edit: Neil Waldman is the artist who did a few other Paulsen covers too, including Hatchet).

As a young woman who loves Gary Paulsen books, I was excited for the only one I’ve found with a female main character. And Janet is a wonderful protagonist. She has that same… pragmatism that I see in Gary Paulsen’s lonely teen characters.

“Not that she minded.
That’s how she thought of it—that fast and tight. She was a loner, not that she minded—it always came in that way when she thought of herself.
I like being alone, she thought—I’m alone but I don’t mind. Which of course wasn’t true at all.”

Janet’s motivations are never spelled out—multiple times, she admits she does not know for certain why she does what she does. I step into her shoes, and they fit just right, and I provide these motivations and emotions for her.

The book invokes the same feelings in me as a good poem. Poets like Mary Oliver or Louise Glück come to mind.
The feeling of searching nature and solitude for an answer to a question that you can’t quite put into words.


Janet is 15 and growing up. She sees the beauty in an old man. Because he is ugly and sad and drunk and demeaned and self-demeaning. And because he represents everything that he could have been—a past way of life. Of warriors and dancing and riding horses up the mountain in the moonlight. Of a man loving you so he hunts for you and provides for you, and when you come down from the mountain you are married.

But he is an old man. Billy Honcho cannot come down from the mountain. I cried like Janet cried, even though I would never want them to come down the mountain together, married.

I am a big fan of exploring ways people can love each other. I don’t know how to categorize the love in this book, between Janet and her mother or between Janet and Billy. These are the only true relationships in the book (I don’t really count the macho/scared teenage boy with a crush on Janet). These relationships are full of love but they defy my categorization. Abnormal. Strange. Provoking. I like when books make me uncomfortable, make me stop to think. This book has me thinking still.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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