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Adult Braces: Driving Myself Sane
In bestselling author Lindy West’s most ambitious book yet, she takes readers along on an uproarious cross-country road trip as she unpacks her last few tumultuous years, rediscovers herself, and reinvents her marriage in the process.
Through Shrill, the book and then the Hulu series, Lindy West became an inspiration. To this day she is stopped on the street and hailed as a beacon of empowerment by women who felt badly for not conforming to the categories deemed acceptable—thin, straight, compliant. But behind the scenes, Lindy never felt like she was the self-actualized woman fans made her out to be. When she found herself in the throes of a deep depression, with her marriage and sense of self-worth hanging in the balance, she knew she needed to make a change.
In ADULT BRACES, Lindy shares the story of her rock bottom, and of the solo cross-country road trip she took to claw her way out of it. With her trademark candor and sense of humor, she examines her post-Shrill emotional implosion, her shifting feelings about traditional marriage, and her search for her long-lost self. She also tracks the highs and lows of her journey, from eye-opening natural wonders and kitschy roadside attractions to lackluster excursions and campground epiphanies. The result is an engaging and laugh-out-loud narrative of becoming as Lindy transforms from a passenger into the active navigator of her own life.
Through Shrill, the book and then the Hulu series, Lindy West became an inspiration. To this day she is stopped on the street and hailed as a beacon of empowerment by women who felt badly for not conforming to the categories deemed acceptable—thin, straight, compliant. But behind the scenes, Lindy never felt like she was the self-actualized woman fans made her out to be. When she found herself in the throes of a deep depression, with her marriage and sense of self-worth hanging in the balance, she knew she needed to make a change.
In ADULT BRACES, Lindy shares the story of her rock bottom, and of the solo cross-country road trip she took to claw her way out of it. With her trademark candor and sense of humor, she examines her post-Shrill emotional implosion, her shifting feelings about traditional marriage, and her search for her long-lost self. She also tracks the highs and lows of her journey, from eye-opening natural wonders and kitschy roadside attractions to lackluster excursions and campground epiphanies. The result is an engaging and laugh-out-loud narrative of becoming as Lindy transforms from a passenger into the active navigator of her own life.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published March 10, 2026
490 people are currently reading
17051 people want to read
About the author
Lindy West
9 books2,981 followersLindy West is a columnist at The Guardian, a contributor to This American Life, and a freelance writer whose work focuses on feminism, social justice, humor, and body image. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Cosmopolitan, GQ, Vulture, Jezebel, The Stranger, and others. She is the founder of I Believe You, It's Not Your Fault, an advice blog for teens, as well as the reproductive rights destigmatization campaign #ShoutYourAbortion.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 201 reviews
March 14, 2026
I almost never rate a memoir lower than three stars because part of me just thinks I really don't have the right. Who am I to judge someone else's vulnerable expression of self through writing?
That being said, I really didn't enjoy this book and wish I hadn't bothered. I am familiar with some of West's previous works and enjoyed the television adaptation, Shrill. I knew to expect a strong, opinionated feminist voice and that is definitely here. I also thought I was going to get a lot more road trip and self-discovery...
...what I ended up with was a LOT of red flags about West's relationship with her husband and how he betrayed her and forced her hand into a polyamorous relationship that she is very clear she did not want. The author spends a lot of time explaining how *she* is the problem (in all ways and in all things, which grew tiresome) and eventually rationalizes the whole matter into what she portrays as full acceptance and a resignation that somehow turned to complete bliss and her realizing she is bisexual. (This only after her husband had already begun a new serious relationship with a younger female partner he wished to join their marriage.) Call me a skeptic, but there was just a lot here that made no sense. It would be easy to call me a "hater" but I'm all for ethical non-monogamy that is practiced with respect and informed consent. The relationship described in this memoir may have evolved to that place but it for sure didn't start there and I have trouble reconciling the strong feminist voice of her past works with the way she presents herself in this book.
I wish the author all the best and I sincerely hope that she can let go of her deep-rooted fear of abandonment and perpetual self-doubt and live happily ever after in the way that best serves HER. 2.5 stars
That being said, I really didn't enjoy this book and wish I hadn't bothered. I am familiar with some of West's previous works and enjoyed the television adaptation, Shrill. I knew to expect a strong, opinionated feminist voice and that is definitely here. I also thought I was going to get a lot more road trip and self-discovery...
...what I ended up with was a LOT of red flags about West's relationship with her husband and how he betrayed her and forced her hand into a polyamorous relationship that she is very clear she did not want. The author spends a lot of time explaining how *she* is the problem (in all ways and in all things, which grew tiresome) and eventually rationalizes the whole matter into what she portrays as full acceptance and a resignation that somehow turned to complete bliss and her realizing she is bisexual. (This only after her husband had already begun a new serious relationship with a younger female partner he wished to join their marriage.) Call me a skeptic, but there was just a lot here that made no sense. It would be easy to call me a "hater" but I'm all for ethical non-monogamy that is practiced with respect and informed consent. The relationship described in this memoir may have evolved to that place but it for sure didn't start there and I have trouble reconciling the strong feminist voice of her past works with the way she presents herself in this book.
I wish the author all the best and I sincerely hope that she can let go of her deep-rooted fear of abandonment and perpetual self-doubt and live happily ever after in the way that best serves HER. 2.5 stars
October 3, 2025
At this point I’m basically only a librarian so I can get access to Lindy West ARCs.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Now these catchy lyrics from Kokomo, a 1988 Beach Boys song, are stuck in my head!
“Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take ya
Bermuda, Bahama, come on, pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby, why don't we go?
Jamaica
Off the Florida Keys
There's a place called Kokomo
That's where you wanna go
To get away from it all”
Lindy West is one cool chick! And she’s a riot! Loving the song Kokomo, she decided to take a road trip headed for Kokomo in the Florida Keys. Right there, she had me! Did the song steer her right? She set out from Seattle in a funky van, excited to see the country, on a quest to learn more about herself. I can just hear Kokomo blaring through the car as she heads East. I’m singing along!
Lindy is not just funny, she’s also smart as a whip, and large. She’s a crusader for big women. In 2019 she wrote about her journey in Shrill, a best-selling memoir that ended up as a TV series.
She talks about the issues of being big in a thin world, but she gives the most airtime to examining her life and chronicling her trip. The thing about her is that she is brutally honest and self-deprecating, and she lays bare her insecurities, anxiety, and sadness for all the world to see. But it’s not all doom and gloom—she also describes some of the good times of her life. She analyzes her self-image, her psychology, her sex life. She has a lot of insight.
One of the main things she is pondering on her trip is the state of her marriage. Her husband had announced that he’s polyamorous and then developed a close relationship with another woman. Lindy describes her reaction to this as well as looking closely at their relationship. She ends up texting all nice-y nice with this other woman. She works through a lot on her adventure.
Oh, and speaking of adventure, it was a kick to see the country through her eyes. She has an absurdist sense of humor, which I appreciate. I loved her visits to obscure towns, her descriptions of excursions, hotels, eavesdropped conversations. Good stuff.
I loved the Kokomo connection beyond words, but there are two other things that completely endeared me to her:
-She’s close buds with Samantha Irby, another funny woman whose books I love.
-She knows of Paula Poundstone, a great comedian who still performs today but was most popular in the 1980s and 1990s. And this is the killer—Lindy talks about Poundstone’s ancient joke about a woman who tore her face open on a lube rack. (I know, that sounds unfunny as all get-out, but you’d have to hear the joke and its setup. Really!!) This is one of my all-time favorite jokes, and I have few that my memory has held on to! I probably mention it once a year. The fact that Lindy has a chapter called “Tore My Soul Open on a Lube Rack” makes it clear that we’re soul sisters, lol! When I read the chapter title, I was stunned. I thought surely she must know the lube rack joke—and I was right! But how very weird that she knows and loves that joke, too!
Lindy is a millennial, so pop culture references and her generation’s sensibilities aren’t always relatable to this antique boomer, but most of the time I didn’t feel left out.
If I had one beef, it’s that the book has a little more angst than humor. But people can’t be funny all the time, especially when their heart hurts. Plus, it’s my own need for pure escapism that has me even noticing this.
If you want a memoir that’s funny, insightful, self-deprecating, and smart, check this book out. And West happens to be a good writer, too! Here are some of her funny chapter titles: Addicted to What the Pepperoni Stick Did, Mid Wife Crisis, and Shy Marshmallow. I could go on. The story about how Lindy came about getting braces as an adult is priceless.
Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.
Expected publication date: March 10, 2026
“Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take ya
Bermuda, Bahama, come on, pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby, why don't we go?
Jamaica
Off the Florida Keys
There's a place called Kokomo
That's where you wanna go
To get away from it all”
Lindy West is one cool chick! And she’s a riot! Loving the song Kokomo, she decided to take a road trip headed for Kokomo in the Florida Keys. Right there, she had me! Did the song steer her right? She set out from Seattle in a funky van, excited to see the country, on a quest to learn more about herself. I can just hear Kokomo blaring through the car as she heads East. I’m singing along!
Lindy is not just funny, she’s also smart as a whip, and large. She’s a crusader for big women. In 2019 she wrote about her journey in Shrill, a best-selling memoir that ended up as a TV series.
She talks about the issues of being big in a thin world, but she gives the most airtime to examining her life and chronicling her trip. The thing about her is that she is brutally honest and self-deprecating, and she lays bare her insecurities, anxiety, and sadness for all the world to see. But it’s not all doom and gloom—she also describes some of the good times of her life. She analyzes her self-image, her psychology, her sex life. She has a lot of insight.
One of the main things she is pondering on her trip is the state of her marriage. Her husband had announced that he’s polyamorous and then developed a close relationship with another woman. Lindy describes her reaction to this as well as looking closely at their relationship. She ends up texting all nice-y nice with this other woman. She works through a lot on her adventure.
Oh, and speaking of adventure, it was a kick to see the country through her eyes. She has an absurdist sense of humor, which I appreciate. I loved her visits to obscure towns, her descriptions of excursions, hotels, eavesdropped conversations. Good stuff.
I loved the Kokomo connection beyond words, but there are two other things that completely endeared me to her:
-She’s close buds with Samantha Irby, another funny woman whose books I love.
-She knows of Paula Poundstone, a great comedian who still performs today but was most popular in the 1980s and 1990s. And this is the killer—Lindy talks about Poundstone’s ancient joke about a woman who tore her face open on a lube rack. (I know, that sounds unfunny as all get-out, but you’d have to hear the joke and its setup. Really!!) This is one of my all-time favorite jokes, and I have few that my memory has held on to! I probably mention it once a year. The fact that Lindy has a chapter called “Tore My Soul Open on a Lube Rack” makes it clear that we’re soul sisters, lol! When I read the chapter title, I was stunned. I thought surely she must know the lube rack joke—and I was right! But how very weird that she knows and loves that joke, too!
Lindy is a millennial, so pop culture references and her generation’s sensibilities aren’t always relatable to this antique boomer, but most of the time I didn’t feel left out.
If I had one beef, it’s that the book has a little more angst than humor. But people can’t be funny all the time, especially when their heart hurts. Plus, it’s my own need for pure escapism that has me even noticing this.
If you want a memoir that’s funny, insightful, self-deprecating, and smart, check this book out. And West happens to be a good writer, too! Here are some of her funny chapter titles: Addicted to What the Pepperoni Stick Did, Mid Wife Crisis, and Shy Marshmallow. I could go on. The story about how Lindy came about getting braces as an adult is priceless.
Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy.
Expected publication date: March 10, 2026
March 18, 2026
Literally 80% of this book is Lindy going on a cross country journey while sharing how her husband Aham hurt her (he broke the rules of their polyamorous agreement, a polyamorous agreement she didn’t even want in the first place, he had a second girlfriend other than Roya who lived down the street!), and being honest about how hurt, unloved, and alone her husband made her feel. On page 231 her friend Jessie even says: “No, babe, that’s not how polyamory is supposed to work.”
Her husband and his girlfriend Roya invite her to join their relationship and she likes feeling included and wanted (who doesn’t!). But she’s an introspective person so she considers, “It was probable, not just possible, that I was making Aham’s polyamory feel safe by inserting myself into it.” And she asks herself, “Was I actually attracted to Roya, or was I just relieved to find a loophole that let me stay in my fucked-up marriage because I was too scared to be alone?”
If she’s happy in her throuple that’s wonderful! To love and be loved is the best part of life. But objectively her husband didn’t treat her well, and she spent a lot of time trying to blame herself for his poor behavior. And now online she’s upset with everyone who thinks he kind of sucks. Just live your life, Lindy. You showed us who your husband is and we believed you. We don’t have to forgive him like you did.
Her husband and his girlfriend Roya invite her to join their relationship and she likes feeling included and wanted (who doesn’t!). But she’s an introspective person so she considers, “It was probable, not just possible, that I was making Aham’s polyamory feel safe by inserting myself into it.” And she asks herself, “Was I actually attracted to Roya, or was I just relieved to find a loophole that let me stay in my fucked-up marriage because I was too scared to be alone?”
If she’s happy in her throuple that’s wonderful! To love and be loved is the best part of life. But objectively her husband didn’t treat her well, and she spent a lot of time trying to blame herself for his poor behavior. And now online she’s upset with everyone who thinks he kind of sucks. Just live your life, Lindy. You showed us who your husband is and we believed you. We don’t have to forgive him like you did.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 11, 2026
"Why couldn't he just love me? Is it really so bad to have a slow, fat wife when she offers as much as I do?"
After finding out her husband is practicing polyamory with his sights set on maybe adding a sister wife, Lindy goes on a trip of self discovery to "loosen up" and "have experiences."
She heads for Key West in a borrowed van while she contemplates the state of her union. She has those experiences, though I wish she'd shared more of them. There are great one-liners aplenty: "She looked like someone who was made in a lab at the Malibu Colony to become Rod Stewart's ex-wife . . . " , and there's plenty of fun to be had on this road trip of self-discovery.
Will Lindy ditch the philandering mister, join a thruple, or maybe even a convent?
You'll have to read to find out.
Thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for sharing.
After finding out her husband is practicing polyamory with his sights set on maybe adding a sister wife, Lindy goes on a trip of self discovery to "loosen up" and "have experiences."
She heads for Key West in a borrowed van while she contemplates the state of her union. She has those experiences, though I wish she'd shared more of them. There are great one-liners aplenty: "She looked like someone who was made in a lab at the Malibu Colony to become Rod Stewart's ex-wife . . . " , and there's plenty of fun to be had on this road trip of self-discovery.
Will Lindy ditch the philandering mister, join a thruple, or maybe even a convent?
You'll have to read to find out.
Thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for sharing.
November 5, 2025
For decades, Lindy has helped me understand, in such a fundamental way, that I exist and that it’s ok to exist while being fat. But this book is a sexy little beckoning to thrive, too, to challenge ourselves to be truly alive. How often do you finish a book and feel filled with just exuberant love that you wanna take out on the world? Adult Braces is an embarrassment of riches.
I laughed and cried, sometimes at the same time. Lindy is so vulnerable and honest here, as much with her pain as with her joy. She really captures what can be so hard about experiencing fat joy -- that it feels taboo, still, to be joyful in a fat body -- and then she proceeds to say fuck that, and just lavish us with fat joy! I was so grateful to be let in on Lindy's experience of meeting herself in a little camper van as she drove back and forth across this dumb, beautiful country -- her exuberance, and hunger, and desire. It made me feel excited to allow it all, too, not just as an act of resistance but as a very simple, profound reclamation.
Also, don't worry, there are still fart jokes.
I laughed and cried, sometimes at the same time. Lindy is so vulnerable and honest here, as much with her pain as with her joy. She really captures what can be so hard about experiencing fat joy -- that it feels taboo, still, to be joyful in a fat body -- and then she proceeds to say fuck that, and just lavish us with fat joy! I was so grateful to be let in on Lindy's experience of meeting herself in a little camper van as she drove back and forth across this dumb, beautiful country -- her exuberance, and hunger, and desire. It made me feel excited to allow it all, too, not just as an act of resistance but as a very simple, profound reclamation.
Also, don't worry, there are still fart jokes.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to NetGalley for the early read. While I have enjoyed Lindy West's work in the past, this one was not for me. I expected a funny book, but there wasn’t a single point where I even chuckled. Instead, I finished the book feeling deeply sad.
I’m glad that Lindy says she’s happy, and I truly hope that she is. However, much of the situation described in the book left me feeling like she may have been manipulated into doing what her husband wanted out of fear of losing him. Reading about the broken trust in their relationship was difficult for me. It reminded me of how I used to feel when I was in an unstable relationship with someone I couldn’t trust.
I considered stopping at that point, but I kept reading. In hindsight, maybe I wouldn’t have had that same nervous feeling in my stomach if I had. Much of Lindy’s backstory and struggles reminded me of parts of my own life, so I found myself rooting for her throughout the book -- and I still am.
I truly wish the best for Lindy and hope she has found real happiness. I just wish I had known more about what this book would focus on before requesting Adult Braces. Readers expecting humor may be surprised, as this definitely did not feel like a humor book to me.
___________________________________________
My post while reading:
I am currently reading this, but I am so irritated. I am nineteen chapters in on an audiobook ARC, and it feels like a lot of excuses for a selfish man. Lindy deserves better.
I’m glad that Lindy says she’s happy, and I truly hope that she is. However, much of the situation described in the book left me feeling like she may have been manipulated into doing what her husband wanted out of fear of losing him. Reading about the broken trust in their relationship was difficult for me. It reminded me of how I used to feel when I was in an unstable relationship with someone I couldn’t trust.
I considered stopping at that point, but I kept reading. In hindsight, maybe I wouldn’t have had that same nervous feeling in my stomach if I had. Much of Lindy’s backstory and struggles reminded me of parts of my own life, so I found myself rooting for her throughout the book -- and I still am.
I truly wish the best for Lindy and hope she has found real happiness. I just wish I had known more about what this book would focus on before requesting Adult Braces. Readers expecting humor may be surprised, as this definitely did not feel like a humor book to me.
___________________________________________
My post while reading:
I am currently reading this, but I am so irritated. I am nineteen chapters in on an audiobook ARC, and it feels like a lot of excuses for a selfish man. Lindy deserves better.
March 16, 2026
Drawn in by the takes, I thought reading the book would reveal something deeper than the scandy headlines. It did not.
West still writes powerfully about being fat, and her grapples with confidence and intimacy — those were the best parts of this book.
But who is Roya beyond a tiny frail goth who sends some HR-esque check in texts while their partner is in the hospital? We never learn! In this memoir, she remains her husband’s (nice) girlfriend. My takeaway: understanding their poly relationship is none of my business.
Also, the voice note vibe interludes have got to go. They were so meandering! It was unreadable.
West still writes powerfully about being fat, and her grapples with confidence and intimacy — those were the best parts of this book.
But who is Roya beyond a tiny frail goth who sends some HR-esque check in texts while their partner is in the hospital? We never learn! In this memoir, she remains her husband’s (nice) girlfriend. My takeaway: understanding their poly relationship is none of my business.
Also, the voice note vibe interludes have got to go. They were so meandering! It was unreadable.
Read
March 17, 2026The writing: Top-notch. The travel writing parts were so good.
The relationship choices: I have reservations but you do you, I guess.
The self-deprecation bordering on self-loathing: I’m worried about you, girl.
The relationship choices: I have reservations but you do you, I guess.
The self-deprecation bordering on self-loathing: I’m worried about you, girl.
March 22, 2026
“Was I actually attracted to Roya, or was I just relieved to find a loophole that let me stay in my fucked-up marriage because I was too scared to be alone?” - YOU ARE SCARED TO BE ALONE, LINDY. YOU WILL PUT UP WITH ANY AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT TO KEEP THIS DREADFUL MAN. It does not take genius to figure this out! ARGH. (This will be spoiler-y so look away if you've somehow managed to avoid the thousand think-pieces and articles and podcasts and TikTok videos about this.)
I LOVE Lindy West. Shrill is one of the best, funniest, funnest books I've ever read and The Witches Are Coming felt like such an affirming thing to read in the wake of MeToo. But despite being very funny in places this book just made me sad.
My friend, knowing that I was a fan of Lindy, sent me that awful video she, Aham, and Roya made talking about their throuple in their underwear a few years ago and I was so shocked and heartbroken to see my fearless, witty, feminist icon reduced to tears as she sat next to her blank-faced husband and talked about how she had never felt loved and felt "like trash". I couldn't understand how someone as intelligent as Lindy couldn't see what a toxic and painful situation she had conned herself into accepting. It never fails to shock me when people who are bright and clever and perceptive have a massive blind spot when it comes to themselves and their own motivations.
Also, I am not anti-nonmonogamy at all! I think it suits a vanishingly small number of people really well and makes them happy. But this book is the HOW-NOT-TO of nonmonogamy and I don't think that's clear enough. There's way too much justification of what goes on here. Betrayal is betrayal, even when it's dressed up in progressive ideals, and the deep, devastating, and long-term damage that betrayal does isn't erased by riding off into the sunset at the end.
I obviously couldn't resist reading this but since reading the Slate piece in which Lindy says she needs this book to do well because "it has to tide us over financially for the next few years" (US BEING HER, AHAM, AND ROYA) I decided that I'd be returning it to Amazon as soon as I read it. I can't, in good conscience, fund this horrible situation. (There's a point at which Lindy buys honey from a guy she assumes is a Trump voter and feels bad that she's giving money to someone whose politics she doesn't support. I guess this is me doing the same thing!)
Twitter sleuths have discovered that Lindy also pays Aham's alimony and child support? I mean, I can't verify that, but having read this book I wouldn't be at all surprised - she's so in thrall to this manipulative, narcissistic man.
I’m frustrated by the way that she goes from making lighthearted jokes about OnlyFans on page 155 to lamenting the ridiculously high rate of school shootings in the USA on page 156. Does protection of children only matter when supporting an approved left-wing cause (gun control) rather than a too-radically-feminist-to-be-cool cause? Does this count as another example of lack of self awareness? Or, even worse, is it an unwillingness to admit that sometimes the right thing isn’t the ‘cool’ thing?
The ‘cool’ thing is to support OnlyFans and the normalisation of porn and selling women and children’s bodies. The ‘cool’ thing is to be okay with your husband sleeping around and lying about it.
The right thing is to reject OnlyFans and leave your shit husband.
She talks confidently about how “conservatism correlates with fear” but doesn’t seem to connect her own fear-based decision to remain with Aham. It’s a tiny step but she can’t make it.
I half want to hug her and comfort her and half want to shake her and say "YOU'RE A FEMINIST. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY PUT UP WITH THIS TREATMENT?" But feminists aren't perfect, and we can aim to live a feminist life while still making deeply patriarchal, self-sabotaging decisions. Even when we are exceptionally smart, like Lindy. It's disappointing. Does misogyny really have such a chokehold on even the best of us? Apparently.
Despite all this, and the many sad moments when she describes Aham's horrible treatment of her, she's still very funny and I laughed out loud more than once - the snorkelling chapter made me cry tears of laughter. She's still an excellent writer, and it's great fun to spend time in her company. But I have to knock off 2 stars and return this book for POLITICAL AND SOCIOLOGICAL REASONS. As a young feminist, I used to read Lindy as if she was instructive in some way, someone to look up to and follow. I don't want any young (or not so young) feminists now to do the same. This is not a healthy way to be. I'm glad that she seems to have found some happiness in her current set-up but that doesn't justify any of the pain she went through to get there. And she still seems remarkably male-centred and focussed on male validation. She actually notes down all the times when she gets hit on on her road trip. GIRL. WHAT THE FUCK. STOP IT.
I look forward to reading her divorce memoir a few years from now when she finally manages to let go of Aham (and maybe runs off with Roya?) after realising she doesn't need him anymore and, in fact, never did.
I LOVE Lindy West. Shrill is one of the best, funniest, funnest books I've ever read and The Witches Are Coming felt like such an affirming thing to read in the wake of MeToo. But despite being very funny in places this book just made me sad.
My friend, knowing that I was a fan of Lindy, sent me that awful video she, Aham, and Roya made talking about their throuple in their underwear a few years ago and I was so shocked and heartbroken to see my fearless, witty, feminist icon reduced to tears as she sat next to her blank-faced husband and talked about how she had never felt loved and felt "like trash". I couldn't understand how someone as intelligent as Lindy couldn't see what a toxic and painful situation she had conned herself into accepting. It never fails to shock me when people who are bright and clever and perceptive have a massive blind spot when it comes to themselves and their own motivations.
Also, I am not anti-nonmonogamy at all! I think it suits a vanishingly small number of people really well and makes them happy. But this book is the HOW-NOT-TO of nonmonogamy and I don't think that's clear enough. There's way too much justification of what goes on here. Betrayal is betrayal, even when it's dressed up in progressive ideals, and the deep, devastating, and long-term damage that betrayal does isn't erased by riding off into the sunset at the end.
I obviously couldn't resist reading this but since reading the Slate piece in which Lindy says she needs this book to do well because "it has to tide us over financially for the next few years" (US BEING HER, AHAM, AND ROYA) I decided that I'd be returning it to Amazon as soon as I read it. I can't, in good conscience, fund this horrible situation. (There's a point at which Lindy buys honey from a guy she assumes is a Trump voter and feels bad that she's giving money to someone whose politics she doesn't support. I guess this is me doing the same thing!)
Twitter sleuths have discovered that Lindy also pays Aham's alimony and child support? I mean, I can't verify that, but having read this book I wouldn't be at all surprised - she's so in thrall to this manipulative, narcissistic man.
I’m frustrated by the way that she goes from making lighthearted jokes about OnlyFans on page 155 to lamenting the ridiculously high rate of school shootings in the USA on page 156. Does protection of children only matter when supporting an approved left-wing cause (gun control) rather than a too-radically-feminist-to-be-cool cause? Does this count as another example of lack of self awareness? Or, even worse, is it an unwillingness to admit that sometimes the right thing isn’t the ‘cool’ thing?
The ‘cool’ thing is to support OnlyFans and the normalisation of porn and selling women and children’s bodies. The ‘cool’ thing is to be okay with your husband sleeping around and lying about it.
The right thing is to reject OnlyFans and leave your shit husband.
She talks confidently about how “conservatism correlates with fear” but doesn’t seem to connect her own fear-based decision to remain with Aham. It’s a tiny step but she can’t make it.
I half want to hug her and comfort her and half want to shake her and say "YOU'RE A FEMINIST. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY PUT UP WITH THIS TREATMENT?" But feminists aren't perfect, and we can aim to live a feminist life while still making deeply patriarchal, self-sabotaging decisions. Even when we are exceptionally smart, like Lindy. It's disappointing. Does misogyny really have such a chokehold on even the best of us? Apparently.
Despite all this, and the many sad moments when she describes Aham's horrible treatment of her, she's still very funny and I laughed out loud more than once - the snorkelling chapter made me cry tears of laughter. She's still an excellent writer, and it's great fun to spend time in her company. But I have to knock off 2 stars and return this book for POLITICAL AND SOCIOLOGICAL REASONS. As a young feminist, I used to read Lindy as if she was instructive in some way, someone to look up to and follow. I don't want any young (or not so young) feminists now to do the same. This is not a healthy way to be. I'm glad that she seems to have found some happiness in her current set-up but that doesn't justify any of the pain she went through to get there. And she still seems remarkably male-centred and focussed on male validation. She actually notes down all the times when she gets hit on on her road trip. GIRL. WHAT THE FUCK. STOP IT.
I look forward to reading her divorce memoir a few years from now when she finally manages to let go of Aham (and maybe runs off with Roya?) after realising she doesn't need him anymore and, in fact, never did.
March 17, 2026
I love Lindy West and I (mostly) enjoyed this book. Her self reflection on loving and embracing yourself within a societal construct that simultaneously tells you you’re unloveable and gross while also expecting you to be a bulletproof face of The Movement was powerful and very poignant. There were moments that felt very insightful and also moments where I struggled to listen to her self-flagellate and blame herself for having a normal emotional response to a challenging relationship dynamic. Hard not to wonder why the burden of self improvement and discovery seems to always fall to women. Hmm.
March 15, 2026
release this woman from the shackles of a male centric life
March 20, 2026
Ever have a friend date or marry a walking red flag and all you can do is nod and smile while they talk about them because you know they'd flip their shit if you voiced your concern? That's what reading this book is like.
March 10, 2026
Lindy done did it again! 👏🏼 I’m always going to read anything she writes (books, substacks, Instagram captions, dental reviews, bathroom graffiti, etc).
This book is GOOD. I highlighted all of my favorite lines and I was honestly worried it was going to run out of its neon ink.
I laughed. I spat (unintentionally while laughing). I gasped. I clutched my pearls. I teared up. I texted excerpts to friends. Lindy seriously runs the gamut of emotions in this book. So raw!
Okay so what’s it about? Lindy’s marriage is kinda falling apart and she decides to take a big old cross country road trip to have a big old think. We have dispatches from small towns along the way, epiphanies on hikes, tons of swimming, interesting locals, and so much wisdom (and foolishness). Come for her polyamory tea, stay for gorgeous self-examination.
Also, are Lindy and I twins possibly? We’ve both romanticized Spanish moss in Savannah, taken weird cruises on plastic chairs, gotten friend tattoos in Kalamazoo, gushed over the stained-glass windows at The Russell, freaked over the Badlands, will swim ANYWHERE, and first fell in love with Kokomo via The Muppets. And we’re both ✨fat✨. Twins it is.
If you love her other books, enjoy Road Trip Ephipanies™️, or have slightly crooked teeth, pick this one up my friends!
This book is GOOD. I highlighted all of my favorite lines and I was honestly worried it was going to run out of its neon ink.
I laughed. I spat (unintentionally while laughing). I gasped. I clutched my pearls. I teared up. I texted excerpts to friends. Lindy seriously runs the gamut of emotions in this book. So raw!
Okay so what’s it about? Lindy’s marriage is kinda falling apart and she decides to take a big old cross country road trip to have a big old think. We have dispatches from small towns along the way, epiphanies on hikes, tons of swimming, interesting locals, and so much wisdom (and foolishness). Come for her polyamory tea, stay for gorgeous self-examination.
Also, are Lindy and I twins possibly? We’ve both romanticized Spanish moss in Savannah, taken weird cruises on plastic chairs, gotten friend tattoos in Kalamazoo, gushed over the stained-glass windows at The Russell, freaked over the Badlands, will swim ANYWHERE, and first fell in love with Kokomo via The Muppets. And we’re both ✨fat✨. Twins it is.
If you love her other books, enjoy Road Trip Ephipanies™️, or have slightly crooked teeth, pick this one up my friends!
December 20, 2025
an extreme pleasure to read - contains the phrase “the vast and unforgiving un-Kokomo of life” - I gasped
March 16, 2026
Between this book, the discourse surrounding this book, and Lindy West’s response to the discourse surrounding this book (which essentially was that no one is actually allowed to have discourse about it), I think I now know much more than I wanted to about West and her marriage and her sexual interests and her thoughts on pretty much every topic. I had picked it up because I enjoyed her other books so much, but the tone of the this one felt self-indulgent, particularly the inclusion of the voice notes on the audiobook.
3 stars instead of 2 because historically I’ve liked Lindy West so much and couldn’t bring myself to rank it any lower.
3 stars instead of 2 because historically I’ve liked Lindy West so much and couldn’t bring myself to rank it any lower.
Read
March 20, 2026Major win for the patriarchy. Straight up sister wives shit. To quote her friend “that is not polyamory, babe.” What sealed it for me was the end, when she talks about the sleeping arrangements. “Me and Roya fight over who gets to sleep in the guest bedroom!” Girl, when does Aham sleep in the guests bedroom?!!! The whole thing felt like mental gymnastics to try to keep her marriage going. I do not think Lindy is being honest with herself, let alone the reader. I understand she was so vulnerable but the math ain’t mathin’. I kept thinking please, I beg of you, one crumb of something this man is bringing to the table other than being “amazing”… and cheating on you with a much younger blonde woman…and not communicating with you when he’s in the hospital…and denying your personhood…and not being able to help out when you’re penniless in key west. If Aham left would Lindy and Roya stay together? There is no evidence given for this beyond “wow, Roya is so good at paying bills on time and labeling leftovers.” You cannot explain this away by saying that monogamous people critiquing your alarmingly lop-sided relationship are just insecure and don’t understand. Girl, we are working with the info (or lack of info) you gave us.
Lastly the emoji part made me want to die with cringe and embarrassment. You could not waterboard that out of me.
Lastly the emoji part made me want to die with cringe and embarrassment. You could not waterboard that out of me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 21, 2026
oh my god no. girl free yourself. like I guess this was written fine but it’s uncomfortable to read a book that’s supposed to be persuasive from someone who has the self esteem of an inanimate object.
also what is up with bainbridge island making people think they can have two partners
also what is up with bainbridge island making people think they can have two partners
November 17, 2025
I always forget just how funny Lindy West is, and I don't know how. I've read her books and listened to her audiobooks and there are few writers who can tickle my funny bone just like she can. I would listen to her review pretty much anything. The fact that I deeply relate to so much of what she's gone through is icing on the cake.
And I can speak from experience--a road trip around the US can definitely heal you, whether or not you make it to Kokomo.
And I can speak from experience--a road trip around the US can definitely heal you, whether or not you make it to Kokomo.
March 22, 2026
I have been fat my entire adult life and I loved Lindy's previous work. I'm going to try to be generous and compassionate about the book itself.
The parts of the book that are not about her relationship are great, although I will say that there were times I felt viscerally gut punched. She's still very funny when she wants to be.
Her arc makes more sense in the book than it does in her press. At the same time, she's working through so much. It's not just her marriage, but her sense of self.
She structures her reaction to her husband's actions as part of her journey of self-discovery. She doesn't set herself up as blameless. After all, Aham told her who he is, and she decided to close her eyes.
If it weren't for the non-monogamy angle, this would just be a story of choosing to forgive a cheater, because that's absolutely what he did: It wasn't just Roya, but someone else. She says there was a second woman, and she doesn't give details, but says leaving would have been justified.
The thing about that is, she's leaving so much space for the reader to interpret the worst, and this is a decision that's worsened by the fact that she leaves a lot of other gaps. Yes, she loves Aham. Yes, their enforced segregation during Covid helped rebuild their relationship (Notably, with no other partners, which makes me wonder how well this would have worked otherwise). But she doesn't show why he's so compelling to her.
Roya is barely a person: I know she's thin and cute and organized. That's it.
She frames it as leaving codependency and learning to give up control. And it is, but there's more to it. In an early chapter, she references the law of Jante: that the individual needs to learn they are less important than the collective. I don't know if her intention was to apply this to her relationship, but it sure feels applicable.
So much of the narrative is about her being a people pleaser and subsuming her feelings for the benefit of others, and it feels like her relationship decisions are doing that too.
As much as she describes her trip in terms of self liberation, I never fully got the sense that she HAS learned what makes her happy, or that she's learned to stop making herself small. Fat women are taught to believe we can't expect better.
Her barbs about how yes, she is partnered with two thin people feel... pointed in the wrong way. I can't tell you she's not happy! Maybe she really is. Maybe what I felt were contradictions within her narrative were unintentional. All I can tell you is how she and Aham and Roya come across in her own words. And I didn't feel happy for her at the end. I felt like she's only dug halfway through her own psyche.
The parts of the book that are not about her relationship are great, although I will say that there were times I felt viscerally gut punched. She's still very funny when she wants to be.
Her arc makes more sense in the book than it does in her press. At the same time, she's working through so much. It's not just her marriage, but her sense of self.
She structures her reaction to her husband's actions as part of her journey of self-discovery. She doesn't set herself up as blameless. After all, Aham told her who he is, and she decided to close her eyes.
If it weren't for the non-monogamy angle, this would just be a story of choosing to forgive a cheater, because that's absolutely what he did: It wasn't just Roya, but someone else. She says there was a second woman, and she doesn't give details, but says leaving would have been justified.
The thing about that is, she's leaving so much space for the reader to interpret the worst, and this is a decision that's worsened by the fact that she leaves a lot of other gaps. Yes, she loves Aham. Yes, their enforced segregation during Covid helped rebuild their relationship (Notably, with no other partners, which makes me wonder how well this would have worked otherwise). But she doesn't show why he's so compelling to her.
Roya is barely a person: I know she's thin and cute and organized. That's it.
She frames it as leaving codependency and learning to give up control. And it is, but there's more to it. In an early chapter, she references the law of Jante: that the individual needs to learn they are less important than the collective. I don't know if her intention was to apply this to her relationship, but it sure feels applicable.
So much of the narrative is about her being a people pleaser and subsuming her feelings for the benefit of others, and it feels like her relationship decisions are doing that too.
As much as she describes her trip in terms of self liberation, I never fully got the sense that she HAS learned what makes her happy, or that she's learned to stop making herself small. Fat women are taught to believe we can't expect better.
Her barbs about how yes, she is partnered with two thin people feel... pointed in the wrong way. I can't tell you she's not happy! Maybe she really is. Maybe what I felt were contradictions within her narrative were unintentional. All I can tell you is how she and Aham and Roya come across in her own words. And I didn't feel happy for her at the end. I felt like she's only dug halfway through her own psyche.
Read
March 24, 2026Jesus what a whirlwind. First book by Lindy but I loved the tv show shrill. On the book itself, it wasn’t my favorite but I could see its merits. I’m not sure if this is her usual writing style but I largely couldn’t connect. She wasn’t actually vulnerable in her writing, she was revealing secrets about herself and that is different. She was always on the cusp of vulnerability before she tied it up in some flimsy metaphor or laughed and joked nervously and changed the chapter. It was disorienting. I also found the voice memos to be utterly distracting and a stand in for her describing the place more, and working through these complicated feelings she seems to have over land, colonization, racism etc. her thoughts in the memo seemed reflective of someone who is not engaging with nonfiction reading regularly, or someone who is not well versed in theory. This sounds bad to say but to write well you have to read often, and when you do not do so it can show because you repeat things everyone already knows. I liked her writing on BED as someone who has it, and I thought some stories were funny, but this felt very disjointed.
As for the dialogue concerning her marriage. We are given so little information that I’m not sure why people have such concrete conclusions on anything. People speak of betrayal and anger online as though she killed someone. The upset seems to be largely a projection, one that ignores the nuances of marriage and also seems tied to the fact that people made someone their feminist superstar avatar in a really dehumanizing and troubling way. And perhaps Lindy liked that. Until she didn’t. To be clear, Lindy sounds very insecure in a way that was difficult to read sometimes due to experiences of being on the other end of that in a partnership. And her partner does not seem to be a great person to do polyamory with. But the visceral disgust and anger people have actually reeks of conservatism and would be there even if she had a healthy polyamorous relationship. For all of the online haters I have to ask them to level with themselves. If they have not and likely will not ever be fat or date and love a fat person then maybe they should consider just how much that changes your relationship to sex and dating before providing prescriptive feedback on a strangers marriage.
As for the dialogue concerning her marriage. We are given so little information that I’m not sure why people have such concrete conclusions on anything. People speak of betrayal and anger online as though she killed someone. The upset seems to be largely a projection, one that ignores the nuances of marriage and also seems tied to the fact that people made someone their feminist superstar avatar in a really dehumanizing and troubling way. And perhaps Lindy liked that. Until she didn’t. To be clear, Lindy sounds very insecure in a way that was difficult to read sometimes due to experiences of being on the other end of that in a partnership. And her partner does not seem to be a great person to do polyamory with. But the visceral disgust and anger people have actually reeks of conservatism and would be there even if she had a healthy polyamorous relationship. For all of the online haters I have to ask them to level with themselves. If they have not and likely will not ever be fat or date and love a fat person then maybe they should consider just how much that changes your relationship to sex and dating before providing prescriptive feedback on a strangers marriage.
March 17, 2026
The description of this book should’ve clued me into the fact that this wasn’t going to be what I’ve come to expect from West’s past work, but it veered too far off her Shrill persona for me. Calling it “laugh out loud funny” is so misleading.
Seems she’s admitting that wasn’t her “true” self, but this new version is kind of sad. After revealing that she’s now in a throuple, this book read as her gaslighting herself into believing she was choosing this, instead of a desperate attempt to accept that she has to put up with her husband’s cheating in order to keep him. I anticipate yet another book in a few years where she recontextualizes her story once again.
The fact that this felt like a justification reconfigured into a book was when she claims that she thought Kokomo was a real place in Florida (ya know, from the Beach Boys song?), and simultaneously DID NOT KNOW IT WAS A REAL CITY IN INDIANA UNTIL SHE DROVE THROUGH THAT STATE! All to make the theme of discovering what she “really” wanted when on a trip to what she thought she did. Either that, or I have to reconsider thinking she is an intelligent person.
Seems she’s admitting that wasn’t her “true” self, but this new version is kind of sad. After revealing that she’s now in a throuple, this book read as her gaslighting herself into believing she was choosing this, instead of a desperate attempt to accept that she has to put up with her husband’s cheating in order to keep him. I anticipate yet another book in a few years where she recontextualizes her story once again.
The fact that this felt like a justification reconfigured into a book was when she claims that she thought Kokomo was a real place in Florida (ya know, from the Beach Boys song?), and simultaneously DID NOT KNOW IT WAS A REAL CITY IN INDIANA UNTIL SHE DROVE THROUGH THAT STATE! All to make the theme of discovering what she “really” wanted when on a trip to what she thought she did. Either that, or I have to reconsider thinking she is an intelligent person.
March 3, 2026
A true delight, as is all of Lindy West’s work. I was intrigued by the title and cover as I, too, have adult braces (and my god, I cannot wait to get them off). This book was ultimately not very much about adult braces, but a solo roadtrip, introspection, and complicated relationships. Many genuine LOLs! I regret that I mostly read this on the subway rather than in a body of water, as Lindy would have wanted it.
Thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central for the advance copy!
Thanks to NetGalley and Grand Central for the advance copy!
March 23, 2026
I think Samantha Irby is the funniest memoirist alive, so it makes sense that her bestie Lindy West is also EFFING HILARIOUS. I haven’t laughed this hard reading a memoir since I devoured all of Irby’s books back to back. Lindy West, you’re good.
This memoir is the perfect mix of humorous and reflective/melancholy. The overall tone is funny even though many of the themes in this book are not. Lindy West has written (in my view) a more relatable version of Cheryl Strayed’s WILD (lord knows I’m not hiking the Pacific Crest Trail!). This solo road trip memoir takes us through Lindy West’s internal struggle with her marriage back home. Her husband has always been openly nonmonogamous, and when he starts seeing another woman, Lindy is conflicted. A lot of people have a lot of feelings about ethical nonmonogamy, but all I can say is no one but Lindy and her partner know what it’s like to exist in their relationship, which is not for us to judge. I understand the challenges Lindy faces as she grapples with her husband’s need for other women. Lindy puts all her personal (and very relatable) insecurities on display for readers, asking herself why she can’t just be enough for him. But she also shows us the beauty of nontraditional relationships. Lindy doesn’t have to be everything for her husband.
Having lost my father to cancer in 2006 (when I was17), Lindy’s passages about her late dad made me weep. He was the love of her young life, and I so related to that. I also related to her point about marrying someone to erase the pain of losing her dad. This backfired for us both.
I love that she brings up her Norwegian roots. Only thing missing from this portion of the book is whether or not Lindy can tolerate Lutefisk, and my guess is no, because Lutefisk is the worst. I married a Norwegian guy whose parents grew up in Minnesota, so I connected with Lindy’s passages about Norsk energy, work ethic, and chilliness.
I have seen Lindy’s show SHRILL, but I never read the book, so now’s the time for me to start buying Lindy’s other works. Also, there’s a lot in this memoir about working on the show and how Lindy still felt dismissed on set despite the fact that her show depicts cruelty towards people of a certain size. I appreciated her commentary on Ozempic culture and why body positivity icons are in a tough spot. If they try to lose weight or focus on wellness in a certain way, they will be ostracized by some fans. If they don’t, people will mock them anyway.
1000/10 for Lindy West.
This memoir is the perfect mix of humorous and reflective/melancholy. The overall tone is funny even though many of the themes in this book are not. Lindy West has written (in my view) a more relatable version of Cheryl Strayed’s WILD (lord knows I’m not hiking the Pacific Crest Trail!). This solo road trip memoir takes us through Lindy West’s internal struggle with her marriage back home. Her husband has always been openly nonmonogamous, and when he starts seeing another woman, Lindy is conflicted. A lot of people have a lot of feelings about ethical nonmonogamy, but all I can say is no one but Lindy and her partner know what it’s like to exist in their relationship, which is not for us to judge. I understand the challenges Lindy faces as she grapples with her husband’s need for other women. Lindy puts all her personal (and very relatable) insecurities on display for readers, asking herself why she can’t just be enough for him. But she also shows us the beauty of nontraditional relationships. Lindy doesn’t have to be everything for her husband.
Having lost my father to cancer in 2006 (when I was17), Lindy’s passages about her late dad made me weep. He was the love of her young life, and I so related to that. I also related to her point about marrying someone to erase the pain of losing her dad. This backfired for us both.
I love that she brings up her Norwegian roots. Only thing missing from this portion of the book is whether or not Lindy can tolerate Lutefisk, and my guess is no, because Lutefisk is the worst. I married a Norwegian guy whose parents grew up in Minnesota, so I connected with Lindy’s passages about Norsk energy, work ethic, and chilliness.
I have seen Lindy’s show SHRILL, but I never read the book, so now’s the time for me to start buying Lindy’s other works. Also, there’s a lot in this memoir about working on the show and how Lindy still felt dismissed on set despite the fact that her show depicts cruelty towards people of a certain size. I appreciated her commentary on Ozempic culture and why body positivity icons are in a tough spot. If they try to lose weight or focus on wellness in a certain way, they will be ostracized by some fans. If they don’t, people will mock them anyway.
1000/10 for Lindy West.
Read
October 23, 2025Review to come, maybe
March 24, 2026
lindyyyy girlyyyyyyyy shake the crippling libfem white guilt & work on yr self-awareness!! and self-esteem... who am i to say a complete stranger isnt truly happy with her life but i read the whole book willingly and on purpose, as a fan!, and it sure sounds like someone who's trying to convince herself that she likes the situation she's in, one where she gets to be alone by herself in the guest room clutching her stuffed toys & phone while her husband is in bed a room away with another woman. yeesh. this is actually a really hard & sad read! again, as a fan!!! im a fat white millennial and you can tell im a holdout from the blogging years too, look at my obnoxious use of exclamation points. immediate tell!! what im getting at is im not a hater, lindy is kin. maybe shes totally femmepowered sexually and emotionally by polyamory i dont know her i cant say shes rly not but what she writes in this book.. it sounds like a farce. it sounds like another mask of confidence she wants to present to the world but she doesnt have enuff self awareness to know how it comes off. and i say ANOTHER mask because she literally describes doing exactly that in previous memoirs. lol... BUT WHATEVER! the white guilt shit is actually more annoying than the seemingly fuckless throuple she ended up in cuz shes too afraid of being alone or abandoned. again, that just makes me sad. but i dont understand how you can travel the united states and feel no curiosity for the other ppl you encounter, always assuming everyone across the south is a piece of shit trump voter. if youre a liberal on the boat excursion with 70 other people it stands to reason that its possible.. some other people.. may vote how you do too..?? i mean, i know what it is - shes a deeply anxious person who uses politics & social justice as a cover for anxiety, so i do actually get whats happening here. but damn! u can talk to a stranger it'll be alright, yknow what, even if they DID vote for trump. also, she should not have published all of those embarrassing emoji texts with roya lol. but thats what lindy does and we still love her for it even if we're crying and groaning PLEASE LINDY STOP!!!!! please lindy.... im begging you..... stop...!!!
March 18, 2026
Admittedly, I was drawn to this book because of the online discourse. I commend West for the vulnerability it takes to write this book, but it is also disappointing to see some of her responses to criticism. Being a fat feminist figure in the 2010s, I imagine (and West covers) can set up unrealistic expectations from your fans. I know she's only human, and it's natural to be defensive when parts of your audience look at your own experience and draw different, unflattering conclusions. The parasocial nature of our society accelerates this. With that said, responding to the discourse by basically saying that if there are concerns with West's relationship, then you are biased against polyamory seems unfair. Especially when most criticism has been that this is not an example of ethical nonmonogamy. West doesn't owe her audience every aspect of her life, but I don't see how she didn't expect there would be concerns when you share deceit and multiple crossed boundaries in your relationship. It broke my heart reading passages I could only read as her blaming herself and skirting any accountability from her husband.
This was a quick but hard read. There were still aspects I really enjoyed. The parts about friendship and support when you need it the most really resonated with me. As a 37-year-old who lives in Kalamazoo, I loved her appreciation for what this town has to offer for the 35+ crowd.
As a reader, I don't feel I have the right to diagnose her relationships, but for me personally, this was a triggering read.
This was a quick but hard read. There were still aspects I really enjoyed. The parts about friendship and support when you need it the most really resonated with me. As a 37-year-old who lives in Kalamazoo, I loved her appreciation for what this town has to offer for the 35+ crowd.
As a reader, I don't feel I have the right to diagnose her relationships, but for me personally, this was a triggering read.
March 20, 2026
Girl GET UP
October 13, 2025
Adult Braces is a raw and emotional look at adapting our lives to do what feels good, right, and true to us, rather than hiding in the shadows of our routine. Not only that, but it’s fun. Lindy uses exclamation points, puns, and footnotes in a way that makes this novel feel alive and cozy, like I’m reading a text from my best friend who is going through the same shit as me.
Thank you Grand Central publishing for the ARC.
Thank you Grand Central publishing for the ARC.
January 11, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
I’ve been a big fan of Lindy West’s since reading her Guardian article more than ten years ago in which she discussed being a fat bride and shared gorgeous and joyful photos of her wedding. While I can’t claim to have read every word or book she’s written, I think Adult Braces is my favorite work of hers so far. Lindy’s (Ms. West’s?!?!) tone is conversational, like you’re chatting with a dear friend, but also poetic at just the right moments.
The book chronicles her road trip from Seattle to the Florida Keys and back again in 2021, just after she and her husband began to explore their relationship through the lens of practicing nonmonogamy (rather than nonmonogamy in theory and ethics only) and after learning that her husband had two girlfriends. The book is nonlinear, moving between the time before leaving on the road trip as well as afterwards (the road trip, spoiler alert, did not cure all that ails her). The ending is not tied up in a neat, tidy bow because this is real life and real life and real people are messy and grow in nonlinear ways. And I think that’s what makes this book feel different from Shrill. Not only is Lindy that much older and wiser but she knows she’s writing in media res and the end of the book is just that. She will continue to grow, to struggle, and to change over time. She does not need to wait to have it all figured out to share some of what she’s learned with us (even if she’s inconsistent in applying what’s she learned). I think the biggest gift Lindy gives us with her writing is common humanity. Who has not experienced being othered whether due to body size, race, faith, gender or gender expression, sexuality, etc. We can all related to being alienated from others and from ourselves. We can all relate to the impossible task of healing in a world designed to keep us unwell and disenfranchised. Lindy is able to face all that and break it down into more easily digestible, humorous chunks.
I laughed out loud many times and highlighted many passages (not quoting here as the book may still be revised).
I’ve been a big fan of Lindy West’s since reading her Guardian article more than ten years ago in which she discussed being a fat bride and shared gorgeous and joyful photos of her wedding. While I can’t claim to have read every word or book she’s written, I think Adult Braces is my favorite work of hers so far. Lindy’s (Ms. West’s?!?!) tone is conversational, like you’re chatting with a dear friend, but also poetic at just the right moments.
The book chronicles her road trip from Seattle to the Florida Keys and back again in 2021, just after she and her husband began to explore their relationship through the lens of practicing nonmonogamy (rather than nonmonogamy in theory and ethics only) and after learning that her husband had two girlfriends. The book is nonlinear, moving between the time before leaving on the road trip as well as afterwards (the road trip, spoiler alert, did not cure all that ails her). The ending is not tied up in a neat, tidy bow because this is real life and real life and real people are messy and grow in nonlinear ways. And I think that’s what makes this book feel different from Shrill. Not only is Lindy that much older and wiser but she knows she’s writing in media res and the end of the book is just that. She will continue to grow, to struggle, and to change over time. She does not need to wait to have it all figured out to share some of what she’s learned with us (even if she’s inconsistent in applying what’s she learned). I think the biggest gift Lindy gives us with her writing is common humanity. Who has not experienced being othered whether due to body size, race, faith, gender or gender expression, sexuality, etc. We can all related to being alienated from others and from ourselves. We can all relate to the impossible task of healing in a world designed to keep us unwell and disenfranchised. Lindy is able to face all that and break it down into more easily digestible, humorous chunks.
I laughed out loud many times and highlighted many passages (not quoting here as the book may still be revised).
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