Smritichitre
Lakshmibai Tilak
Translated by Shanta Gokhale
INR 650/
This is a world that today's feminists would find it hard to relate to, though marriages like this are still to be found in the heartland of India. Lakshmibai Tilak tells the story of her life with the poet Narayan WamanraoTilak, a man preoccupied by his principles, ruled by his temper and characterized by frequent disappearances.
From the beginning Lakshmibai’s world was dominated by the whims of men. Her father broke down after his father was hanged by the British in 1857 as a rebel. His breakdown was expressed through an obsessive hatred of anything he considered pollution. Outsiders were not allowed into the house and women who went out had to bathe before they returned. Lakshmibai was frequently beaten for failing to follow the purity rules.
From her father, Lakshmibai came under the influence of her father in law, a man who in a fit of temper had kicked his wife to death. What would today be considered attempted murder was then allowed to go unpunished and the fact was that wife beating was normal in the Indian heartland.
The result of the death of his mother affected Lakshmibai's husband who became in many respects reclusive, expressing his emotions through his verses and in many cases tearing them up again. Though he was an erratic husband and much older than she was, he stood by Laskshmibai, despite losing two children, all sons. That is why, Lakshmibai writes, she loved him, even though he flung her down the stairs for laughing at him when she was seven months pregnant.
WamanraoTilak was one of the first of his community to convert to Christianity and that move on his part resulted in a five-year separation from his wife. Five years later however, Lakshmibai also grew disenchanted with the corruption she saw in Hinduism and converted – this despite the fact that both she and her husband came from Brahmin families.
The narrative traces her growth from a naughty child to an 11-year-old bride to a woman who tired of the discrepancies between castes and who drank water from a sweeper’s home. Though she was illiterate she learnt to read and write and even managed to complete her husband’s poem on his conversion after his death. She became an activist, managed a woman’s hostel and fought for the rights of women with the same determination with which she told the story of her life. Despite poverty, deprivation and abuse, Lakshmibai keeps her sense of humour while being short of money, short of food and surrounded by men and women with intolerable egos.
The book was one of the first autobiographies written in the Marathi language and proved an instant hit when it was published in 1934. Shanta Gokhale’s is the first complete English translation of the work and certainly captures the liveliness of the narrator who is a plain, fearless speaker.