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Mission Earth #1
The Invaders Plan
Earth does not exist. . . . Or so they want you to believe. Who are they? What do they want? And who do they think they are? They are the Voltarians of Voltar—an empire 110 planets strong. They are already among us. And the invasion is about to begin . . . in a hundred years or so. Or is it? The truth is far more sinister. Undercover, underground and out of sight, the invaders plan what may in fact be a massive diversion. In the darkest recesses of Voltar’s Coordinated Information Apparatus (otherwise known as the CIA), a tyrant of terror sets out to exploit the invasion in order to seize power. All that stands in his way is a planet that doesn’t exist. Discover a world where corporations rule and political corruption is rife. Where governments are driven by oil and controlled by drugs. Where global warming is getting hotter by the minute . . . and a scorching love affair could determine the fate of millions. Where a cosmic conspiracy is about to hit home and the intergalactic intrigue knows no bounds. They call it Blito-P3. We call it Earth. You can’t afford to look the other way. It’s the end of the world as you know it . . . and the beginning of one of the most spectacular, thought-provoking, and wildly inventive works of science fiction and espionage of our time “You will lose sleep. You will miss appointments. If you don’t force yourself to set it down and talk to your family from time to time, you may be looking for a new place to live. Reading The Invaders Plan is simply the most fun you can have by yourself.” —Orson Scott Card
500 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 1985
267 people are currently reading
2310 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 214 reviews
May 19, 2012
Surprisingly, this book is probably harmless, and actually a hell of a lot of fun. That said, the conceit and hubris that went into this sprawling, "epic" series as a whole, supposedly delivered in a crate of papers as a single manuscript to Hubbard's publisher, is still astronomical, and I never did read beyond the second book. Judging from titles and brief exerpts I've read, they get more and more overblown and ridiculous as they go on, and still essentially seem to describe the same basic conflict scenario.
All right, so the lords of the planet Voltar want to use Earth as a strategic base, and they're worried about the natives, who seem to show every sign of being ready to wipe themselves and their planet out of existence. TO that end, they plan to send an invasion force to get the planet under the imperial thumb.
Our main character is a pathetic government snoop who stamps forms by day and breaks into politicians' offices by night at the behest of his employer, the Apparatus, the Voltarian secret police/intelligence agency. The Apparatus is run by a corrupt, mad overlord type named Lumbar Hist, who has his own plans for the Earth, and employs our lowly wretch of an agent to travel on the initial scout mission to Earth and sabotage it!
Lumbar's scheme has to be heard to be believed. He wants the Earth so he can harvest all its powerful narcotics, and intends to get the lords and ladies of Voltarian society addicted to amphetamines and high-grade heroin so they'll be complete slaves to his will! Isn't it great?
Our snivelling lackey, Sultan Gris, must rub shoulders with the prize and champion of the fleet, Jettero Heller. Heller is perfect! Tall, athletic, unbelievably handsome, good at about a million things! It's sickening! Heller has been to Earth before, and he's pretty close to human in appearance and physiognomy. If this were an Orson Scott Carde novel, Heller would be the hero. But because Hubbard wants to be a clever satirist, the entire narrative of Mission Earth operates under the principle that no, Heller's a disgusting do-gooder, and sultan Gris is the hero! Unfortunately, Heller seems to worm his way out of a good many of the traps Gris sets for him, at first apparently by accident. The whole premise of this first novel of the series is that Hist and Gris don't want the scout mission to launch, but Heller always seems to be a little ahead of them. ALong the way, we get to meet a host of bizarre characters, like the whip-wielding dominatrix electroshock expert and trainer of giant leopards, the Countess Crack, who goes all doe-eyed for Heller (of course!) and has more than a few tricks up her sleeve to counter Gris's machinations; the vile Dr. Krobe, who conducts terrible experiments on abandoned prisoners deep in the bowels of the Apparatus prison; the nymphomaniac many-times-Widow Tael, and, of course, the spider at the centre of Voltar's corruption, Lumbar Hist himself, who beats his underlings with an electric stinger, probably gets high off his own supply, and hears the mountain winds calling his name like a knell of destiny!
I like Gris's outraged, whiny narrative. He's a real slimeball coward of the highest order but you can't help but kind of like him and almost want him to succeed, even though Heller really is a nice guy who seems to want the best for everybody, even the bloody Earthlings! Gris hates Heller so much by the end that it's all he can do to prevent himself from spitting and foaming and smoking whenever his mere name is mentioned, but the awful trick is that he's got to continue being nice to him and pretending to help him along until they get to Earth. Some of the episodes that take place as Gris gets himself further and further into the proverbial shithouse are genuinely funny reading.
There are loads of clichés on display, oh yes, but Hubbard seems at this point at least to be aware of them and is having a lark a good deal of the time. There's a trademark Hubbard anti-psychology rant, but amusingly its disguised as Gris thinking that he now understands the mind because he's read a bunch of Earth textbooks, and trying to employ these techniques on Heller gets him exactly what he wants, but not for the reason he thinks (hint: It's because he's being annoying and childish!). Somewhere in there there's an anti-drug message, but I lost track of it pretty early on, probably when I was laughing because Gris took a bunch of amphetamines during the pre-launch party and spent the whole time speaking gibberish to everyone. I think the next book isn't as fun because it takes place on Earth and seemed to get pretty repetitive and occasionally even preachy. maybe that's why I never went any further with this mission. still, I think this novel is a rolicking good time, and who knows, I might try and check in on the later exploits of Gris and Heller one of these days.
All right, so the lords of the planet Voltar want to use Earth as a strategic base, and they're worried about the natives, who seem to show every sign of being ready to wipe themselves and their planet out of existence. TO that end, they plan to send an invasion force to get the planet under the imperial thumb.
Our main character is a pathetic government snoop who stamps forms by day and breaks into politicians' offices by night at the behest of his employer, the Apparatus, the Voltarian secret police/intelligence agency. The Apparatus is run by a corrupt, mad overlord type named Lumbar Hist, who has his own plans for the Earth, and employs our lowly wretch of an agent to travel on the initial scout mission to Earth and sabotage it!
Lumbar's scheme has to be heard to be believed. He wants the Earth so he can harvest all its powerful narcotics, and intends to get the lords and ladies of Voltarian society addicted to amphetamines and high-grade heroin so they'll be complete slaves to his will! Isn't it great?
Our snivelling lackey, Sultan Gris, must rub shoulders with the prize and champion of the fleet, Jettero Heller. Heller is perfect! Tall, athletic, unbelievably handsome, good at about a million things! It's sickening! Heller has been to Earth before, and he's pretty close to human in appearance and physiognomy. If this were an Orson Scott Carde novel, Heller would be the hero. But because Hubbard wants to be a clever satirist, the entire narrative of Mission Earth operates under the principle that no, Heller's a disgusting do-gooder, and sultan Gris is the hero! Unfortunately, Heller seems to worm his way out of a good many of the traps Gris sets for him, at first apparently by accident. The whole premise of this first novel of the series is that Hist and Gris don't want the scout mission to launch, but Heller always seems to be a little ahead of them. ALong the way, we get to meet a host of bizarre characters, like the whip-wielding dominatrix electroshock expert and trainer of giant leopards, the Countess Crack, who goes all doe-eyed for Heller (of course!) and has more than a few tricks up her sleeve to counter Gris's machinations; the vile Dr. Krobe, who conducts terrible experiments on abandoned prisoners deep in the bowels of the Apparatus prison; the nymphomaniac many-times-Widow Tael, and, of course, the spider at the centre of Voltar's corruption, Lumbar Hist himself, who beats his underlings with an electric stinger, probably gets high off his own supply, and hears the mountain winds calling his name like a knell of destiny!
I like Gris's outraged, whiny narrative. He's a real slimeball coward of the highest order but you can't help but kind of like him and almost want him to succeed, even though Heller really is a nice guy who seems to want the best for everybody, even the bloody Earthlings! Gris hates Heller so much by the end that it's all he can do to prevent himself from spitting and foaming and smoking whenever his mere name is mentioned, but the awful trick is that he's got to continue being nice to him and pretending to help him along until they get to Earth. Some of the episodes that take place as Gris gets himself further and further into the proverbial shithouse are genuinely funny reading.
There are loads of clichés on display, oh yes, but Hubbard seems at this point at least to be aware of them and is having a lark a good deal of the time. There's a trademark Hubbard anti-psychology rant, but amusingly its disguised as Gris thinking that he now understands the mind because he's read a bunch of Earth textbooks, and trying to employ these techniques on Heller gets him exactly what he wants, but not for the reason he thinks (hint: It's because he's being annoying and childish!). Somewhere in there there's an anti-drug message, but I lost track of it pretty early on, probably when I was laughing because Gris took a bunch of amphetamines during the pre-launch party and spent the whole time speaking gibberish to everyone. I think the next book isn't as fun because it takes place on Earth and seemed to get pretty repetitive and occasionally even preachy. maybe that's why I never went any further with this mission. still, I think this novel is a rolicking good time, and who knows, I might try and check in on the later exploits of Gris and Heller one of these days.
March 15, 2011
This was recommended to me by an ex-boyfriend who thought it was great. He'd made excellent reading suggestions previously so I truly believed I was in for one awesome giant science fiction orgy of awesome in ten volumes!
Instead I got offensive two dimensional characters, a plot like a stagnant pond and the author bragging in the introduction about how he dragged this 'opus' out for 1.2 MILLION words. I threw it across the room in frustration halfway through the first book but that's still more of my time then some complete books I've read. (And actually enjoyed)
Hint to other authors: If it takes you 400 pages to establish that your bad guy is slimy, whiny and ineffectual, your good guy is the most Mary Sue of every 'All American hero stereotype' ever, and your female lead is an angry leather wearing dominatrix/virginal kitten in the arms of the 'Hero' and the plot STILL has yet to make more than a cursory appearance then you have failed. Hang your head in shame. Throw out your word processor and take up plumbing or fast food service.
Oh? What was that? It was supposed to funny? Satirical? Allow me to stare in blank incomprehension at explanations for what in this book passes for humour.
There is a reason a majority of the good reviews come from men who read this 20 years ago, usually when they were 12 year old boys and many of them admit to enjoying it as a boy but wouldn't read it now and didn't bother to finish it when they still thought it was good.
I want the hours of my life wasted on this book back. You owe me Hubbard and you owe me at a pay scale a couple of factors above minimum wage.
Instead I got offensive two dimensional characters, a plot like a stagnant pond and the author bragging in the introduction about how he dragged this 'opus' out for 1.2 MILLION words. I threw it across the room in frustration halfway through the first book but that's still more of my time then some complete books I've read. (And actually enjoyed)
Hint to other authors: If it takes you 400 pages to establish that your bad guy is slimy, whiny and ineffectual, your good guy is the most Mary Sue of every 'All American hero stereotype' ever, and your female lead is an angry leather wearing dominatrix/virginal kitten in the arms of the 'Hero' and the plot STILL has yet to make more than a cursory appearance then you have failed. Hang your head in shame. Throw out your word processor and take up plumbing or fast food service.
Oh? What was that? It was supposed to funny? Satirical? Allow me to stare in blank incomprehension at explanations for what in this book passes for humour.
There is a reason a majority of the good reviews come from men who read this 20 years ago, usually when they were 12 year old boys and many of them admit to enjoying it as a boy but wouldn't read it now and didn't bother to finish it when they still thought it was good.
I want the hours of my life wasted on this book back. You owe me Hubbard and you owe me at a pay scale a couple of factors above minimum wage.
December 27, 2007
When I first came across this series, I had no idea who L.Ron Hubbard was, but I HAD read Battlefield Earth and thought it was good. So I was looking forward to this series with more than a little eagerness.
It did not disappoint (until the last half of the tenth book).
This book series is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read. The plot gymnastics a previous reviewer mentioned are the things that make this such a fun series. But I admit it's not for everyone.
It helps if you imagine this series more as a Heavy Metal style animated film, specifically the STEERRRRN! segment (If you've seen it, you know what part I'm talking about.
It's been twenty years since I read it, but it's still vivid in my memory.
Now, knowing what I know about Scientology NOW, I can see that that books were laced with stealth theology. However, at the time I read it, I had no clue as to what Scientology was, and there's nothing in the books that mention it, so it never was an issue. But the concepts are unmistakable. Still, it won't affect your reading enjoyment unless you allow it to bother you.
To this day, I don't believe that L.Ron Hubbard actually wrote these books (since most of them were published long after he died), and imagine it was written by a committee of clever Scientologists.
And one little bit of trivia. John Travolta always claims he named his son Jett after his love of planes, but it's obvious he named Jett after Jett Heller, one of the heroes of this series.
If you can ignore the invisible Scientology subtext, you're in for a treat with this series.
It did not disappoint (until the last half of the tenth book).
This book series is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read. The plot gymnastics a previous reviewer mentioned are the things that make this such a fun series. But I admit it's not for everyone.
It helps if you imagine this series more as a Heavy Metal style animated film, specifically the STEERRRRN! segment (If you've seen it, you know what part I'm talking about.
It's been twenty years since I read it, but it's still vivid in my memory.
Now, knowing what I know about Scientology NOW, I can see that that books were laced with stealth theology. However, at the time I read it, I had no clue as to what Scientology was, and there's nothing in the books that mention it, so it never was an issue. But the concepts are unmistakable. Still, it won't affect your reading enjoyment unless you allow it to bother you.
To this day, I don't believe that L.Ron Hubbard actually wrote these books (since most of them were published long after he died), and imagine it was written by a committee of clever Scientologists.
And one little bit of trivia. John Travolta always claims he named his son Jett after his love of planes, but it's obvious he named Jett after Jett Heller, one of the heroes of this series.
If you can ignore the invisible Scientology subtext, you're in for a treat with this series.
November 29, 2020
When I was a young child, I remember reading this entire series. Back in the early 80's it was rather rare for authors to pen huge series. Nowadays, it seems every single author is contractually obligated to make the simplest story into a trilogy and some go far, far beyond. But, when this series came out they had to invent the term dekalogy to describe it as it encompasses 10 books.
Also, nowadays Liberals and Lefties who worship at the altar of Hollywood types as the epitome of all knowledge in the world and get their political, economic, and social advice pedaled to them by those overly attractive idiots might recognize the name L. Ron Hubbard. Their mortal deities from Hollywood seem to have read his book "Dianetics" and have convinced themselves it is some sort of religion. I do not worship at the altar of Hollywood, nor ANY altar for that reason, so for me, I just remember him as the author of this series and Battlefield Earth.
So what is this about? As the title implies, it is about the invasion of Earth. The plot centers around two main characters- Soltan Gris of the Apparatus (basically the CIA of the planet Voltar) has been charged by his boss Lombar Hisst to plan for the invasion. He has to enlist the services of Fleet Combat Engineer Jettero Heller. More than that I shall not spoil.
Soltan is a rather loveable character. He tries very hard to be this bad-ass secret agent, and he does have some measure of skills, but he is thoroughly outclassed by Heller who is something of a Marty Stu (a male Mary Sue) and just perfect in every way. The interactions between these two is rather amusing. This has a great deal of humor in it and is not a truly serious sci-fi. More like dry humor. Is it terrible? No..not at all. But is it so great that I am going to read ten books? Uhh..likely not anytime soon. It seems to drag on longer than necessary and the sometimes sheer incompetence of Gris, all the while thinking about how good he is, does elicit some smiles but it isn't Douglas Adams funny..merely amusing. I'm glad I took the time to read it and perhaps I might eventually work my way through this series again, just for shits and giggles..but there is no rush. There is much better sci-fi out there. Still, I enjoyed the book for what it is. You might as well, but don't expect too much.
Also, nowadays Liberals and Lefties who worship at the altar of Hollywood types as the epitome of all knowledge in the world and get their political, economic, and social advice pedaled to them by those overly attractive idiots might recognize the name L. Ron Hubbard. Their mortal deities from Hollywood seem to have read his book "Dianetics" and have convinced themselves it is some sort of religion. I do not worship at the altar of Hollywood, nor ANY altar for that reason, so for me, I just remember him as the author of this series and Battlefield Earth.
So what is this about? As the title implies, it is about the invasion of Earth. The plot centers around two main characters- Soltan Gris of the Apparatus (basically the CIA of the planet Voltar) has been charged by his boss Lombar Hisst to plan for the invasion. He has to enlist the services of Fleet Combat Engineer Jettero Heller. More than that I shall not spoil.
Soltan is a rather loveable character. He tries very hard to be this bad-ass secret agent, and he does have some measure of skills, but he is thoroughly outclassed by Heller who is something of a Marty Stu (a male Mary Sue) and just perfect in every way. The interactions between these two is rather amusing. This has a great deal of humor in it and is not a truly serious sci-fi. More like dry humor. Is it terrible? No..not at all. But is it so great that I am going to read ten books? Uhh..likely not anytime soon. It seems to drag on longer than necessary and the sometimes sheer incompetence of Gris, all the while thinking about how good he is, does elicit some smiles but it isn't Douglas Adams funny..merely amusing. I'm glad I took the time to read it and perhaps I might eventually work my way through this series again, just for shits and giggles..but there is no rush. There is much better sci-fi out there. Still, I enjoyed the book for what it is. You might as well, but don't expect too much.
August 19, 2010
Absolutely horrible dialog.
Insipid, clumsy, and annoyingly frequent attempts at 'humor'.
Groan worthy puns.
I was curious as to how a science fiction author could also have founded a relatively successful modern religion and so I decided to sample some of his work. Shock was my primary reaction as I plowed through page after page of mediocre hack-work and pulp devoid of anything that makes science fiction interesting - no ideas, no ideals, no intelligence but plenty of shallow cardboard archetypes mouthing ridiculous dialog without developing any compelling reasons for anything to happen.
This was my first attempt to read anything by L. Ron Hubbard and I was surprised at how poorly conceived and constructed the writing was. I am surprised that anyone would give L. Ron Hubbard the time of day after listening/reading more than 5 pages of his stuff - let alone have the patience to swallow and believe any religious ideas written by him.
Insipid, clumsy, and annoyingly frequent attempts at 'humor'.
Groan worthy puns.
I was curious as to how a science fiction author could also have founded a relatively successful modern religion and so I decided to sample some of his work. Shock was my primary reaction as I plowed through page after page of mediocre hack-work and pulp devoid of anything that makes science fiction interesting - no ideas, no ideals, no intelligence but plenty of shallow cardboard archetypes mouthing ridiculous dialog without developing any compelling reasons for anything to happen.
This was my first attempt to read anything by L. Ron Hubbard and I was surprised at how poorly conceived and constructed the writing was. I am surprised that anyone would give L. Ron Hubbard the time of day after listening/reading more than 5 pages of his stuff - let alone have the patience to swallow and believe any religious ideas written by him.
Read
August 1, 2008This is almost the worst sci-fi book I have ever read. I encountered this book when I was 14, and even then I could tell L. Ron Hubbard was a hack. This turgid attempt at satire bloated itself to ten volumes before it came to a twitching, spasmodic end and fouled itself all over the sci-fi shelf of your favorite used bookstore. Simply wretched. The worst thing about the Mission Earth Series is that it takes up so much space on bookshelves which could be put to better use storing good books. Or pictures of loved ones. Or dead badgers. I cannot un-reccomend this book enough. Is that a word? It is now.
October 29, 2023
Както знаем, Л. Рон Хабърд е основател на култа на сциентологията, но също така е един от най-плодовитите писатели фантасти. Количеството над качеството, така да се каже, като се има предвид, че е останал в общественото съзнание най-вече с първото си постижение, а за второто знаят сравнително малко хора, дори сред четящите фантастика.
Така или иначе, поредицата Мисия Земя беше четима за мен по времето, когато четях фантастика (което, като цяло, беше във възрастта, в която се очаква един младеж да я чете) и спомените ми за нея от тогава оцветяват впечатлението ми от днешния прочит.
Доста тегаво логореично дълга, цялата поредица (която нямам намерение да ревюирам книга по книга) обаче е доста сполучлива сатира/гротеска на (главно) американското общество и политика от миналия век.
Интересното тук е, че гаврата със САЩ е двояка: една страна е сатиризирана с директно описание на приключенията там на главните герои-нашественици, а от друга е гротескно метафоризирана в корумпираната империя, от която те (главните герои) всъщност идват и която цели да превземе Земята.
Така или иначе, поредицата Мисия Земя беше четима за мен по времето, когато четях фантастика (което, като цяло, беше във възрастта, в която се очаква един младеж да я чете) и спомените ми за нея от тогава оцветяват впечатлението ми от днешния прочит.
Доста тегаво логореично дълга, цялата поредица (която нямам намерение да ревюирам книга по книга) обаче е доста сполучлива сатира/гротеска на (главно) американското общество и политика от миналия век.
Интересното тук е, че гаврата със САЩ е двояка: една страна е сатиризирана с директно описание на приключенията там на главните герои-нашественици, а от друга е гротескно метафоризирана в корумпираната империя, от която те (главните герои) всъщност идват и която цели да превземе Земята.
September 26, 2007
I admit, I was taken in by the hype. To my defense, the name 'L. Ron Hubbard' was only vaguely known to me as a recently-deceased past SF great, and 'Dianetics' was merely the exploding volcano on throughly-ignored commercials.
The idea of a 10-volume SF epic (and the individual volumes are by no means short) had me skeptical, but I was willing to see what he had to say. A well-orchestrated promotional campaign didn't hurt in the decision (I harp on this some, because I generally consider myself at least somewhat hype-resistant).
The general idea is that there is a vast empire marching steadily towards being a galactic empire. That is, it is the strongest power in the galaxy, but only actually controls a fraction of it. It's march to power was laid out in a master plan some generations ago and has been proceeding smoothly. (Kind of like Asimov's Foundation—which is probably no accident—but this is a detailed, bureaucratic plan, not a generalized, sociological one.)
This plan is threated to be derailed by the fact that Earth, someday to be an important staging point, may well destroy itself via a variety of ills before the empire is due to invade in another 50 years. Rather than change the plan (a bureaucratic no-no), it is decided to send a small covert (that is, unknown to Earth and the empire) team to establish some control of the power structures on Earth, and steer the planet from it's self-destructive course.
The novel is told as a confession by one of the two principles of the mission to the emperor. The character is, let's set this straight right now, scum. He is a scheming, out-for-himself, sycophantic sort who would probably get everyone around him in trouble just so he could climb up the ladder if he wasn't already between a rock and a hard place because of conflicting orders from feuding superiors. The other head of the mission comes out of Hollywood central casting for 'hero': handsome, brilliant, great at whatever he does, honest, and rather naive in the face of imperial court politics.
The first book is devoted entirely to getting the mission put together, outfitted, and on its way. Prying the plot out of the mire it had been stuck in was such a stunning literary achievement that I continued on to the second book. Sadly, it was downhill from there. As Mr. Hero gets to be the one to go out and do things, the viewpoint character turns from someone who at least knew what strings to pull to get things done to mere voyeuristic scum, as he gets to see what the other main character is doing via a bunch of implants (convenient, that). Also convenient is how the implants fail anytime Mr. Hero is about to have sex. Which is pretty often, and absolutely meaningless to the plot. It's rather like a Gor novel with all the titillation removed.
The sad thing is, the basic premise could have worked. Just take out all the plotless fluff (about half the text), tighten up the plot (which might demand removing half of what's left), and it'd be on its way. The next thing would be to refit the characters from two-dimensional constructs in a story that actually has some depth (hidden behind the bloat, sadly).
[Okay, that's a rant I'd forgotten I had inside me.]
The idea of a 10-volume SF epic (and the individual volumes are by no means short) had me skeptical, but I was willing to see what he had to say. A well-orchestrated promotional campaign didn't hurt in the decision (I harp on this some, because I generally consider myself at least somewhat hype-resistant).
The general idea is that there is a vast empire marching steadily towards being a galactic empire. That is, it is the strongest power in the galaxy, but only actually controls a fraction of it. It's march to power was laid out in a master plan some generations ago and has been proceeding smoothly. (Kind of like Asimov's Foundation—which is probably no accident—but this is a detailed, bureaucratic plan, not a generalized, sociological one.)
This plan is threated to be derailed by the fact that Earth, someday to be an important staging point, may well destroy itself via a variety of ills before the empire is due to invade in another 50 years. Rather than change the plan (a bureaucratic no-no), it is decided to send a small covert (that is, unknown to Earth and the empire) team to establish some control of the power structures on Earth, and steer the planet from it's self-destructive course.
The novel is told as a confession by one of the two principles of the mission to the emperor. The character is, let's set this straight right now, scum. He is a scheming, out-for-himself, sycophantic sort who would probably get everyone around him in trouble just so he could climb up the ladder if he wasn't already between a rock and a hard place because of conflicting orders from feuding superiors. The other head of the mission comes out of Hollywood central casting for 'hero': handsome, brilliant, great at whatever he does, honest, and rather naive in the face of imperial court politics.
The first book is devoted entirely to getting the mission put together, outfitted, and on its way. Prying the plot out of the mire it had been stuck in was such a stunning literary achievement that I continued on to the second book. Sadly, it was downhill from there. As Mr. Hero gets to be the one to go out and do things, the viewpoint character turns from someone who at least knew what strings to pull to get things done to mere voyeuristic scum, as he gets to see what the other main character is doing via a bunch of implants (convenient, that). Also convenient is how the implants fail anytime Mr. Hero is about to have sex. Which is pretty often, and absolutely meaningless to the plot. It's rather like a Gor novel with all the titillation removed.
The sad thing is, the basic premise could have worked. Just take out all the plotless fluff (about half the text), tighten up the plot (which might demand removing half of what's left), and it'd be on its way. The next thing would be to refit the characters from two-dimensional constructs in a story that actually has some depth (hidden behind the bloat, sadly).
[Okay, that's a rant I'd forgotten I had inside me.]
April 20, 2023
I didn't exactly laugh out loud on every page, but I often find myself smiling and on the verge of cracking up with laughter. The gentle sly disconnect the arrogant protagonist possesses makes this story a pleasure to read. Hubbard's cultural tone-deafness as he perceived the world of the 1980s also gets instantly noticed by today's reader, and as always makes one glad that we don't have to make-America-great-again if that means embracing the norms of the 1980s. I had read this series in the late 1980s, and I suspect I didn't see the sociological/cultural absurdities for what they would have been since I was obviously in the matrix, but I know I would have appreciated the satire for what it is as I most definitely do today, and today I see the narrowly focused world view as presented by Hubbard as the absurdity that it is.
February 16, 2012
Like so many reviewers of this work, I was in Junior High when I read the series. Being the ghost of a kid I was in school I naturally sympathized with Soltan Gris and his envy for Jett. When he succeeded in parts of his plan, I would cheer for him and when he did badly, I'd want to punch him in the shoulder. The book is very drawn out and seems to conspire a replacement for real life during the reader's journey through Soltan's confession. Though drawn out, it was a very easy read for a 14 year old boy... however some of the content within the series was certainly not appropriate for my age back then. I have no regrets within the memory of this series, but I would probably find myself absolutely bored with it in modern times.
December 4, 2023
My introduction came from knowing nothing. I didn't know about the series that this book kicked off and I didn't know by name L. Ron Hubbard and the significance of his role in creating Scientology. It would be easy to assume or dismiss things about this book simply based on your own bias about Hubbard and that's fine. That's not how this review is written.
I read the numerous pre-read pieces in the book about satire and I was all-in. It was succinct and irreverent and felt like it was a perfect setup for a wacky and ridiculous journey spanning the galactic bureaucracy. I progressed to page 200 and I needed to make a decision.
The book wasn't bad. It wasn't unreadable. But it also wasn't delivering a story that kept me engaged in the characters. It was also written in a way that felt plain and straightforward to a degree that felt flavorless. It's almost as if it didn't get wacky enough to live up to the expectations set by the dissertation on satire (I don't know, maybe it builds up to that over many books).
I read the numerous pre-read pieces in the book about satire and I was all-in. It was succinct and irreverent and felt like it was a perfect setup for a wacky and ridiculous journey spanning the galactic bureaucracy. I progressed to page 200 and I needed to make a decision.
The book wasn't bad. It wasn't unreadable. But it also wasn't delivering a story that kept me engaged in the characters. It was also written in a way that felt plain and straightforward to a degree that felt flavorless. It's almost as if it didn't get wacky enough to live up to the expectations set by the dissertation on satire (I don't know, maybe it builds up to that over many books).
January 23, 2020
I started to read this 10 book series decades ago, but never finished it. This was before digital books and Amazon, so I found myself unable to find the last five books at a reduced price (I was very poor back then). Now that I have the entire set, and am willing to devote the time required, I plan to read the entire series.
Future Edit: I have read the entire series. Please, please, please do not waste your time also. I rate the entire series less than okay. There are reasons to read this book (e.g., a reading quest, being a masochist, temporary insanity, etc), but don't say I didn't warn you. You have better uses of your time (like watching cracks dry up after rain).
Mission Earth begins with the in-prison confession of Sultan Gris on the planet Voltar. That more or less tells the reader up front that Sultan Gris will end up with the short end of the stick (talk about spoilers). We're slowly introduced to life on Voltar. It is a world where corruption is common place. There are all kinds of departments on Voltar, but the book focuses on two. The Apparatus is like the KGB on steroids. The Fleet is full of "boy scouts" with guns. The Aparatus uses bribery and graft to get things done. The Fleet uses "tips" and "parties" to inspire others. Although you could swap "bribes" for "tips," the Aparatus calls it what it is. The Fleet thinks they're better than everyone else, but they're really no different. In some ways, the Fleet is worse; they even refer to the Aparatus personnel as "drunks." How rude. But I guess they're entitled as they look out from their fashionable quarters and observe the squalor the Aparatus is forced to live in.
The hero of our story, Soltan Gris, is assigned to be the handler of a freak of nature, Jettero Heller. Heller is a "boy scout" who could charm the socks off a snake, but that's the least of his genetic abnormalities. Jettero Heller is the smartest, most athletic, most handsome, and successful person on the planet. It's disgusting and unbelievable. He even designs a modification to a faulty spaceship that not one person on the planet could solve. Although, Sultan Gris has few redeeming qualities (by our standards), I found myself rooting for him to get the best of Heller. I know he won't, but I can dream.
Eventually, we're introduced to the Countess Crack. She's described as a dominatrix with a whip who is feard by all. She convinces the naive Jettero Heller that she's a victim of circumstance, but this can't be true. How could a supposedly nice girl be feared by all. She even beats one man to death. Victim of circumstance my ass. Don't be fooled - she's evil.
Speaking of naivety, Heller has another flaw. He's insubordinate. You know the type. There's always that one person who gets away with everything because they get the job done. That's Heller. Soltan Gris outranks him and is in charge of the operation to Earth, but Heller does whatever he wants. I guess that's okay because Heller is Fleet and Soltan Gris is scum. Nice guy that Heller - NOT!
Okay, so the story line is simple. Earth, called Blito-P3, is on the invasion route of Voltar. According to the timetable, Earth won't be approached for a hundred years or more, but there's a problem. Humans are making a mess of things and the planet will be uninhabitable by the time that occurs. (Note: This book was written two decades ago - before the current wave of environmental gloom and doom.)
In steps Gris and Heller. Officially, Heller is supposed to gradually introduce technology that will save the environment. Gris is supposed to babysit him (good luck with that). Unofficially, Soltan Gris is supposed to keep a clandestine Apparatus operation running on Earth, and if possible, thwart Heller's progress. The latter is one major flaw in the logic of this book. If Heller succeeds or fails, it will have no impact on the plans of the head of the Apparatus.
To sum up, Soltan Gris is a marginally trained spy, but that's good enough to get you high in the officer ranks on Voltar. He's skilled at picking locks, learning new languages, and killing people. Jettero Heller knows everything else in the Universe...and can do anything else in the Universe. It's repulsive, but I'm still reading.
Future Edit: I have read the entire series. Please, please, please do not waste your time also. I rate the entire series less than okay. There are reasons to read this book (e.g., a reading quest, being a masochist, temporary insanity, etc), but don't say I didn't warn you. You have better uses of your time (like watching cracks dry up after rain).
Mission Earth begins with the in-prison confession of Sultan Gris on the planet Voltar. That more or less tells the reader up front that Sultan Gris will end up with the short end of the stick (talk about spoilers). We're slowly introduced to life on Voltar. It is a world where corruption is common place. There are all kinds of departments on Voltar, but the book focuses on two. The Apparatus is like the KGB on steroids. The Fleet is full of "boy scouts" with guns. The Aparatus uses bribery and graft to get things done. The Fleet uses "tips" and "parties" to inspire others. Although you could swap "bribes" for "tips," the Aparatus calls it what it is. The Fleet thinks they're better than everyone else, but they're really no different. In some ways, the Fleet is worse; they even refer to the Aparatus personnel as "drunks." How rude. But I guess they're entitled as they look out from their fashionable quarters and observe the squalor the Aparatus is forced to live in.
The hero of our story, Soltan Gris, is assigned to be the handler of a freak of nature, Jettero Heller. Heller is a "boy scout" who could charm the socks off a snake, but that's the least of his genetic abnormalities. Jettero Heller is the smartest, most athletic, most handsome, and successful person on the planet. It's disgusting and unbelievable. He even designs a modification to a faulty spaceship that not one person on the planet could solve. Although, Sultan Gris has few redeeming qualities (by our standards), I found myself rooting for him to get the best of Heller. I know he won't, but I can dream.
Eventually, we're introduced to the Countess Crack. She's described as a dominatrix with a whip who is feard by all. She convinces the naive Jettero Heller that she's a victim of circumstance, but this can't be true. How could a supposedly nice girl be feared by all. She even beats one man to death. Victim of circumstance my ass. Don't be fooled - she's evil.
Speaking of naivety, Heller has another flaw. He's insubordinate. You know the type. There's always that one person who gets away with everything because they get the job done. That's Heller. Soltan Gris outranks him and is in charge of the operation to Earth, but Heller does whatever he wants. I guess that's okay because Heller is Fleet and Soltan Gris is scum. Nice guy that Heller - NOT!
Okay, so the story line is simple. Earth, called Blito-P3, is on the invasion route of Voltar. According to the timetable, Earth won't be approached for a hundred years or more, but there's a problem. Humans are making a mess of things and the planet will be uninhabitable by the time that occurs. (Note: This book was written two decades ago - before the current wave of environmental gloom and doom.)
In steps Gris and Heller. Officially, Heller is supposed to gradually introduce technology that will save the environment. Gris is supposed to babysit him (good luck with that). Unofficially, Soltan Gris is supposed to keep a clandestine Apparatus operation running on Earth, and if possible, thwart Heller's progress. The latter is one major flaw in the logic of this book. If Heller succeeds or fails, it will have no impact on the plans of the head of the Apparatus.
To sum up, Soltan Gris is a marginally trained spy, but that's good enough to get you high in the officer ranks on Voltar. He's skilled at picking locks, learning new languages, and killing people. Jettero Heller knows everything else in the Universe...and can do anything else in the Universe. It's repulsive, but I'm still reading.
June 30, 2013
I just registered with Good Reads for the first time and thought I'd take a little journey down memory lane so I did a search of the first book that came to mind which I read many years ago and it was Mission Earth: The Invaders plan (I read all 10 volumes). First, let me say that this is one of those stories that one either loves or hates with few feelings in between. Just take a look at the reviews from readers and this will be self-evident. It's not for everyone and not everyone will connect with it.
As I said before, I read the entire "dekalogy" many years ago (over 20 years ago, that is), there are lots of details which I don't remember including how the story ended, but there are some things which proved so memorable that I can't possibly forget. I was in my twenties when I read this story so I inevitably saw it from the perspective of someone in that age group, but I think that I would have enjoyed it just the same had I read it for the first time today in my 40's.
Besides the story's Science Fiction elements, what I liked most about it was the zany humor and the very sharp and merciless skewering of just about every institution in modern day American society with a questionable image of respectability. I guess all those anti-establishment attacks (concealed by metaphors and double entendre) appealed to the rebel and little guy in me therefore I enjoyed them immensely. How can I forget law firms with names like Swindle and Crouch or Bleedum, Bleedum and Draine? An advertising firm named Fatten, Fartten and Ooze and the main villain in the story, Lombar Hist head of the Coordinated Information Apparatus, get it? CIA. And these are just the ones I remember, there are many more.
As for the many characters, the ones that come to mind are Sultan Gris, the pseudo hero and narrator of much of the story who turned out to be a total dimwit and screwup, Jettero Heller, supposedly the real hero, who was smart, skilled, handsome, engaging, and decent, everything Gris was not. And then there's The Countess Crack, Fat Bey, Depplor/Achmed, Ters, Wendy, Walter Madison, Mr. Bury the evil attorney, Adora Gris, Shafter the mechanic, Bang Bang Rebombo, member of the Corleone mob, Babe Corleone, head of the Corleone mob, Mamie Bump, Emperor Kling "the lofty" and many more which I don't quite recall.
Yes, I have to agree with some of the reviewers in that the story at times veers into very silly territory, some situations go on for much too long, there's lots of gratuitous and perverted sexual content, and there's quite a bit of repetitiveness. I didn't find any of these things to be problematic enough to spoil the overall story although they could get rather annoying and tedious to read at times. I think I liked the Mission Earth books a great deal because the story was so unusual, so weird, extremely funny, very satiric, but at the same time with a good helping of adventure, science fiction, action, and thrills.
As I said before, I read the entire "dekalogy" many years ago (over 20 years ago, that is), there are lots of details which I don't remember including how the story ended, but there are some things which proved so memorable that I can't possibly forget. I was in my twenties when I read this story so I inevitably saw it from the perspective of someone in that age group, but I think that I would have enjoyed it just the same had I read it for the first time today in my 40's.
Besides the story's Science Fiction elements, what I liked most about it was the zany humor and the very sharp and merciless skewering of just about every institution in modern day American society with a questionable image of respectability. I guess all those anti-establishment attacks (concealed by metaphors and double entendre) appealed to the rebel and little guy in me therefore I enjoyed them immensely. How can I forget law firms with names like Swindle and Crouch or Bleedum, Bleedum and Draine? An advertising firm named Fatten, Fartten and Ooze and the main villain in the story, Lombar Hist head of the Coordinated Information Apparatus, get it? CIA. And these are just the ones I remember, there are many more.
As for the many characters, the ones that come to mind are Sultan Gris, the pseudo hero and narrator of much of the story who turned out to be a total dimwit and screwup, Jettero Heller, supposedly the real hero, who was smart, skilled, handsome, engaging, and decent, everything Gris was not. And then there's The Countess Crack, Fat Bey, Depplor/Achmed, Ters, Wendy, Walter Madison, Mr. Bury the evil attorney, Adora Gris, Shafter the mechanic, Bang Bang Rebombo, member of the Corleone mob, Babe Corleone, head of the Corleone mob, Mamie Bump, Emperor Kling "the lofty" and many more which I don't quite recall.
Yes, I have to agree with some of the reviewers in that the story at times veers into very silly territory, some situations go on for much too long, there's lots of gratuitous and perverted sexual content, and there's quite a bit of repetitiveness. I didn't find any of these things to be problematic enough to spoil the overall story although they could get rather annoying and tedious to read at times. I think I liked the Mission Earth books a great deal because the story was so unusual, so weird, extremely funny, very satiric, but at the same time with a good helping of adventure, science fiction, action, and thrills.
August 11, 2012
I was introduced to this series as a kid when my parents had a copy of the audio drama on cassette. I finally got to read the first one as an adult. This is the only way I can describe it: it follows the doings of an idiot villain, Soltan Gris, who acts as if he is the best villain in the world and tries to convince you that he is actually the hero. Basically it's a satire, although the first book takes place entirely on Gris' home planet of Voltar. Since it was written in the 80's the futuristic technologies hold up better than books written much earlier, although since the book is humorous anyway it doesn't detract from the book to just laugh at some of the old thinking. The first book does have some scenes of violence, gore, and substance use (mostly alcohol) - it follows a villain after all. The characters are well-fleshed and memorable. Hubbard really took full advantage of putting the book in first person. The perspective gives an omniscient insight into Soltan Gris' ridiculous thoughts and actions while depriving the reader of any kind of second opinion into the matter save his or her own. I really enjoyed it and hope to read the rest of the series.
August 2, 2015
I read this full 10 book series about 5 years ago along with a friend. It's not my normal type of book I read but I did really enjoy this. Some of the 10 books were better than others. A couple of them were a little slow but overall the whole story was unique and very engaging! It kept me interested enough to do all 10 books...that's saying something! I loved the main character, Jettero Heller and the bad guys were really bad! The series overall had a great ending and I do recommend it.
February 10, 2016
While not as totally horrible as the Battlefield Earth book these aren't that great. There are some good plots themes and a sorta pulpish feel to the characters, but overall it seems to fall short of what it could be. The story seems to ramble and could have been cut by 1/3 and still got the point across. The random sex and sadistic events just seem to be placed in there not for storyline but for shock value. Not recommended
December 28, 2012
I wrote a long, meandering review about how this novel is long and meandering, but instead I will sum it up in one sentence and allow you, the reader, to interpret it as you see fit:
It's no Battlefield: Earth.
It's no Battlefield: Earth.
May 30, 2025
Tasked with documenting an undercover mission to Earth, Voltarian intelligence officer Soltan Gris (definitely not the villain, just ask him) spins a tangled, self-serving tale of sabotage, vanity, and bureaucratic backstabbing. This is the first volume in a ten-book saga where interstellar politics, corporate greed, and weaponized incompetence feel unsettlingly familiar; even decades later, the satire may hit a little too close to home.
I love these books. I must, since I'm giving them a second read despite my ever-climbing to-be-read pile. A decalogy is no minor detour—even taken slowly. That said, this first volume was published in 1985, and it really should be read through that lens. Writing was different, attitudes were different. Not too notable when I first read it in the '90s, but it might be a bit jarring for someone picking it up today.
The parts I remember most fondly are still to come. I’d forgotten just how long it takes to even get to Blito-P3. This volume never leaves Voltar. Maybe my attention span’s gotten shorter, but as much as I was enjoying the start, by the end I was ready to move on. Too much Widow Tayl, maybe. (Honestly, I could do without her—or at least without belaboring the point.) But again, this is a product of its time: not far from the '70s, and full of '80s excess.
I don’t know how anyone could read these books and believe the Church of Scientology was created by L. Ron Hubbard as anything other than satire. Satire that caught on in a big way... and that he kept going just to see how far he could push it. I mean, how do you get past the introduction to this book and think otherwise?
The Mission Earth series satire isn’t subtle: it’s the point. Of course it’s over the top. That’s the joke. And honestly, that’s half the fun.
"Earth psychology works every time! Not as pleasant, of course, as a Bugs Bunny activity. But every bit as effective! Those psychologists and psychiatrists on Earth have it down pat! They can fool the suckers every time! Absolute masters of coldblooded deception and chicanery!"
I love these books. I must, since I'm giving them a second read despite my ever-climbing to-be-read pile. A decalogy is no minor detour—even taken slowly. That said, this first volume was published in 1985, and it really should be read through that lens. Writing was different, attitudes were different. Not too notable when I first read it in the '90s, but it might be a bit jarring for someone picking it up today.
The parts I remember most fondly are still to come. I’d forgotten just how long it takes to even get to Blito-P3. This volume never leaves Voltar. Maybe my attention span’s gotten shorter, but as much as I was enjoying the start, by the end I was ready to move on. Too much Widow Tayl, maybe. (Honestly, I could do without her—or at least without belaboring the point.) But again, this is a product of its time: not far from the '70s, and full of '80s excess.
I don’t know how anyone could read these books and believe the Church of Scientology was created by L. Ron Hubbard as anything other than satire. Satire that caught on in a big way... and that he kept going just to see how far he could push it. I mean, how do you get past the introduction to this book and think otherwise?
"Although satire is sometimes identified with comedy—and certainly it can be very funny—it is essentially concerned with exposing some flaw or excess. To differentiate it from straight criticism, it is wrapped in incongruity to enhance the differentiation.…
"Satire and its related cousins such as wit and the pun require a discernment. One must first be able to recognize what the joke is about. That’s why a sense of humor could be said to be based on the ability to observe or discern. If a person is too literal, takes statements literally, they won’t “get the joke,” especially if it is based on a play of words. In fact, one might even say a person’s sense of humor, his or her sense of play, could be a measure of his or her intelligence."
The Mission Earth series satire isn’t subtle: it’s the point. Of course it’s over the top. That’s the joke. And honestly, that’s half the fun.
August 4, 2017
I can understand why people like to hate on this book and the series in general. There's a lot to dislike. It's fairly sexist, and it doesn't deserve to be considered science fiction (more like pulp fiction), and its message of environmentalism and criticism of the war on drugs is pretty obvious.
The Good:
However, there's more than that here. Granted I was very young when I read this series (yes, all ten), but look at some of our major liberal activist concerns today:
1. Legalization of marijuana and ending the war on drugs.
2. The environment and global warming/climate change.
3. Big brother watching us, CIA spying on us, working against our interests.
Okay, so a lot of people don't care that much about number three. My point is, the book was making an effort, and Hubbard was a complex guy who sadly will never be understood correctly (even by me) due to the monster he created.
One strong point in the novels is Hubbard's ability to write from the villain's perspective. He's not a cackling demon of evil, he's just weak and insecure, much like many real-life villains are. Hubbard understood that in a time when the way we thought about 'bad guys' was fantastical.
And the series is compelling, at least it was to me at the time.
The Bad:
However... there are some problems. I've seen other reviewers complain about Heller. It's not Heller, it's that whole damn federation. They are all so squeaky, and Hubbard does this on purpose, because he believes that with his ideas in place, we'd form some sort of perfect society of supermen. So where'd the antagonists come from? Well while I will avoid spoilers, the explanation given makes little sense, but there is one given.
And of course, he shows little respect for his female characters. But I think this point is overstated when compared with a critical look at the vast majority of sci-fi from this time period and even today. Male protagonists are just treated much more heroically and significant. Not giving this a pass, it's just something I think is a much bigger problem than most who pick on this author acknowledge.
The Ugly:
Speaking of sexism, Hubbard's understanding of sexuality is a horrible thing to expose the young to, but adults might find it laughable or perhaps infuriating. He derides lesbian acts as being pitiful attempts at giving the pleasure only the male organ can provide. Oh, L. Ron... you poor 40 year old non-missionary virgin.
The Good:
However, there's more than that here. Granted I was very young when I read this series (yes, all ten), but look at some of our major liberal activist concerns today:
1. Legalization of marijuana and ending the war on drugs.
2. The environment and global warming/climate change.
3. Big brother watching us, CIA spying on us, working against our interests.
Okay, so a lot of people don't care that much about number three. My point is, the book was making an effort, and Hubbard was a complex guy who sadly will never be understood correctly (even by me) due to the monster he created.
One strong point in the novels is Hubbard's ability to write from the villain's perspective. He's not a cackling demon of evil, he's just weak and insecure, much like many real-life villains are. Hubbard understood that in a time when the way we thought about 'bad guys' was fantastical.
And the series is compelling, at least it was to me at the time.
The Bad:
However... there are some problems. I've seen other reviewers complain about Heller. It's not Heller, it's that whole damn federation. They are all so squeaky, and Hubbard does this on purpose, because he believes that with his ideas in place, we'd form some sort of perfect society of supermen. So where'd the antagonists come from? Well while I will avoid spoilers, the explanation given makes little sense, but there is one given.
And of course, he shows little respect for his female characters. But I think this point is overstated when compared with a critical look at the vast majority of sci-fi from this time period and even today. Male protagonists are just treated much more heroically and significant. Not giving this a pass, it's just something I think is a much bigger problem than most who pick on this author acknowledge.
The Ugly:
Speaking of sexism, Hubbard's understanding of sexuality is a horrible thing to expose the young to, but adults might find it laughable or perhaps infuriating. He derides lesbian acts as being pitiful attempts at giving the pleasure only the male organ can provide. Oh, L. Ron... you poor 40 year old non-missionary virgin.
November 8, 2021
Rögtön az elején szembesülünk azzal, hogy a földi küldetés valahol félresiklott, ugyanis az azonos címmel kiadott regényfolyam elején a voltári cenzor előszavát olvashatjuk, miszerint ez az iromány nem más, mint fantazmagória, hiszen soha nem is létezett a “Blito-P3”, más néven a “Föld”. A cenzor előszavát a fordító (54 Charlee Kilenc, a fordítófon robotagya) követi, ami emberi nyelvre ültette át a regényt, igyekezve a voltári kifejezéseket érthető módon, a szövegkörnyezetnek megfelelően adaptálni, de sajnos a trágár kifejezéseket nem tudta visszafejteni, így a helyükben maradt a “bíííp”. Az első fejezet pedig Soltan vallomásával kezdődik, ami nem más mint maga a regény, ahol elmeséli, hogy milyen bűnöket is követett el a földi küldetés kapcsán, főnöke nyomására.
A fentiekből következik, hogy a dekalógia (az első rész mindenképpen) E/1-ben meséli el a történetet, mégpedig Soltan szemszögén keresztül.
Hubbard már az előszóban kifejti, hogy a regényfolyam szatíra, és így is kell rá tekinteni. Aki csak a sci-fire koncentrál a történetben és nem tartja szem előtt, hogy egy szatírát tart a kezében, az csalódhat a regényben.
Nem egy pörgős regény, főleg ha folyton abban reménykedünk, hogy majd csak elindulnak már a Föld felé. Viszont annál szórakoztatóbb, ha képesek vagyunk szatíraként olvasni a könyvet. És azt se felejtsük el, hogy egy földönkívüli szemszögéből látjuk a földönkívüli társadalmat, ami annak ellenére, hogy sokkal fejlettebb a mi világunknál, mégis sok párhuzamot fedezhetünk fel.
A túlzás a lényege az egésznek, viszont nagyon óvatosan kell bánni ezzel is, hiszen ha az író túltolja, akkor már nem tud szórakoztató lenni az olvasmány. Hubbard nagyon jól meg tudta tartani az egyensúlyt a túlzásokban is. Szinte sajnáljuk már Soltant ahogy tehetetlenül sodródik az árral, és hiába próbál megkapaszkodni, mindig csak lejjebb csúszik. De eljön az a pillanat, amikor a sarkára áll, viszont akkor sem jön be minden számítása. Van ami nem változik 😉
Összességében azt tudom mondani a regényről, hogy szórakoztató, még akkor is ha egy kicsit lassú folyásúnak tűnik. Pedig nem is olyan lassú, hiszen minden fejezetben egy újabb kalandra indulunk, és újabb életveszélyes, lehetetlennek tűnő “küldetések” várnak ránk.
Bővebben: http://www.letya.hu/2021/11/l-ron-hub...
A fentiekből következik, hogy a dekalógia (az első rész mindenképpen) E/1-ben meséli el a történetet, mégpedig Soltan szemszögén keresztül.
Hubbard már az előszóban kifejti, hogy a regényfolyam szatíra, és így is kell rá tekinteni. Aki csak a sci-fire koncentrál a történetben és nem tartja szem előtt, hogy egy szatírát tart a kezében, az csalódhat a regényben.
Nem egy pörgős regény, főleg ha folyton abban reménykedünk, hogy majd csak elindulnak már a Föld felé. Viszont annál szórakoztatóbb, ha képesek vagyunk szatíraként olvasni a könyvet. És azt se felejtsük el, hogy egy földönkívüli szemszögéből látjuk a földönkívüli társadalmat, ami annak ellenére, hogy sokkal fejlettebb a mi világunknál, mégis sok párhuzamot fedezhetünk fel.
A túlzás a lényege az egésznek, viszont nagyon óvatosan kell bánni ezzel is, hiszen ha az író túltolja, akkor már nem tud szórakoztató lenni az olvasmány. Hubbard nagyon jól meg tudta tartani az egyensúlyt a túlzásokban is. Szinte sajnáljuk már Soltant ahogy tehetetlenül sodródik az árral, és hiába próbál megkapaszkodni, mindig csak lejjebb csúszik. De eljön az a pillanat, amikor a sarkára áll, viszont akkor sem jön be minden számítása. Van ami nem változik 😉
Összességében azt tudom mondani a regényről, hogy szórakoztató, még akkor is ha egy kicsit lassú folyásúnak tűnik. Pedig nem is olyan lassú, hiszen minden fejezetben egy újabb kalandra indulunk, és újabb életveszélyes, lehetetlennek tűnő “küldetések” várnak ránk.
Bővebben: http://www.letya.hu/2021/11/l-ron-hub...
October 22, 2023
First, I must say that I was familiar with L. Ron Hubbard from my family who despised the, as they called him, "The Satanic cult leader of Scientology." I wasn't allowed to read his books, even though I was allowed to read other science fiction. I had forgotten all about him until the giveaway for, "The Invaders Plan (Mission Earth, #1)." I think at some point I rebelled against the family and read "Dianetics" but that was my only experience of L. Ron Hubbard.
As for this book, it wasn't too bad. You have to imagine the climate it was written in, the '80s. Yes, it isn't very PC for much of it, but to be fair, it was in keeping with the time in which it was written and it was supposed to be satirical. I did get a few laughs out of it and it was a simple enough read so I was entertained. I can say it did pique my curiosity to see where the next book goes, but I'm not sure if I'll be reading all of the series. It is worth a read and I'll be posting on whether the second book makes it worth reading the rest of the series once I get it. Still, if you like science fiction and just need a light-hearted read that isn't too serious and has a few dated laughs, then this book is for you.
As for this book, it wasn't too bad. You have to imagine the climate it was written in, the '80s. Yes, it isn't very PC for much of it, but to be fair, it was in keeping with the time in which it was written and it was supposed to be satirical. I did get a few laughs out of it and it was a simple enough read so I was entertained. I can say it did pique my curiosity to see where the next book goes, but I'm not sure if I'll be reading all of the series. It is worth a read and I'll be posting on whether the second book makes it worth reading the rest of the series once I get it. Still, if you like science fiction and just need a light-hearted read that isn't too serious and has a few dated laughs, then this book is for you.
November 24, 2020
I bought the 10 volume set one-by-one as they were issued in the 1980's. I think I've read them twice so far and I'm now on the 3rd time through as I've been recycling every piece of reading material in the house during COVID lockdown. These books are kind of a swan song for Hubbard as he passed away prior to publication of the final volume. I enjoy them a lot. It's heavy satire and yes he picks on his favourite subjects to hate, including the prevalence of harmful psychiatric techniques as well as legal/illegal drugs and disastrous levels of pollution in our world of the 1980s. Some of the social ills he targets seem tame and commonplace now. Does this mean we're evolving or devolving as a species?
Either way, I find them highly entertaining and a good read, a real page turner. They are kind of written in the style of 1940's cliffhangers which is where Hubbard made his mark in the world of fiction. Today the books can be had cheaply and I recommend them as illustrating a dystopian present in the 1980s and predicting a worsening scene unless we as Earth people don't change our evil ways.
Either way, I find them highly entertaining and a good read, a real page turner. They are kind of written in the style of 1940's cliffhangers which is where Hubbard made his mark in the world of fiction. Today the books can be had cheaply and I recommend them as illustrating a dystopian present in the 1980s and predicting a worsening scene unless we as Earth people don't change our evil ways.
December 7, 2023
You can smell the Scientology a mile away in this book. I can’t decide which was worse: the abhorrent characterization and treatment of women or the lackluster snail paced plot-line.
Maybe Hubbard’s attempt of irony and depth was in creating a protagonist the reader will hate and wish to see fail. It got old after 100 pages. Maybe he was trying to be original with highlighting alien corruption in government and mind control with prescription drugs. It wasn’t ironic or amusing, it was obvious and a clear indicator of Hubbard’s paranoia.
The only thing I enjoyed about this book was finishing it so I can give it a bad review. I wish I could post negative stars.
Maybe Hubbard’s attempt of irony and depth was in creating a protagonist the reader will hate and wish to see fail. It got old after 100 pages. Maybe he was trying to be original with highlighting alien corruption in government and mind control with prescription drugs. It wasn’t ironic or amusing, it was obvious and a clear indicator of Hubbard’s paranoia.
The only thing I enjoyed about this book was finishing it so I can give it a bad review. I wish I could post negative stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 5, 2018
Retro SF adventure from the prolific Hubbard. Lest one miss his message, he starts with an explanation of satire, of which this book is an example. Aliens plan to conquer the Earth but since we seem so intent on destroying it through pollution, etc., they've decided to send a team ahead to get things started and the devastation stopped. If one ignores the dated attitudes toward women (unless that is part of the satire) and the wooden dialog, it is vastly amusing, in the way of epic B SF movies of the 50s. 85 narrators play 120+ characters and original music and sound effects set the stage.
August 24, 2019
yes I read it-nevermind who wrote it-it's still awesome(everything pre-dianetics is pretty awesome). predates the alien volcano thing. if you like absurd(if you liked airplane) combined with invaders from space-don't hate me without trying it first/you'll thank me, n then be sorry fer thinking ill of me, n then understand y I had to post a review here. n then you'll read the other 9
March 21, 2020
Hubbard wrote SF in a pulp style. While Mission Earth on the one hand offers a memorably characterised satire, on the other it is an insubstantial and oddly distasteful wad of fairy floss. Each chapter rattles along but very little actually happens.
November 5, 2024
"The Invaders Plan" stands as a peculiar testament to ambitious world-building that ultimately stumbles under the weight of its own excess. This 1st volume of L. Ron Hubbard's 10-part Mission Earth series, brought to life through a full-cast audio production, presents listeners with a sprawling satirical space opera that proves as frustrating as it is fascinating.
The story centers on Soltan Gris, our decidedly unreliable narrator, who chronicles the machinations of an alien civilization called Voltar and their covert plans regarding Earth. Through his narrative, we follow the exploits of Jettero Heller, a combat engineer tasked with preventing Earth's environmental destruction – not out of altruism, but because it threatens Voltar's future invasion plans.
The full-cast audio production deserves recognition for its ambitious scope. The various voice actors commit fully to their roles, bringing distinct personalities to the extensive cast of characters. However, the production's determination to dramatize every moment sometimes results in overly theatrical performances that may test listeners' patience.
Hubbard's narrative attempts to weave together elements of science fiction, satire, and social commentary. The author takes aim at numerous targets: bureaucracy, environmental degradation, corporate greed, and government incompetence. Yet these satirical jabs often feel heavy-handed, lacking the subtle wit that marks the best examples of the genre. The humor frequently descends into broad caricature, with many jokes being repeated well past their point of effectiveness.
The pacing presents another significant challenge. While the premise promises an exciting espionage tale with cosmic stakes, the story frequently gets bogged down in lengthy expositions and bureaucratic procedures. Scenes that could be handled efficiently stretch on for extended periods. At times, it feels as though the book serves more as a setup for the subsequent volumes rather than standing on its own merits.
That said, there are moments where Hubbard's imagination shines through. The detailed description of Voltar's society and technology shows creative world-building, even if the execution sometimes feels cluttered. The concept of an alien civilization manipulating Earth for its own purposes isn't new to science fiction, but the bureaucratic angle provides an interesting twist on the familiar trope.
The character development, however, leaves much to be desired. Most characters feel like broad sketches rather than fully realized individuals, often serving as vehicles for satire rather than believable personalities. The protagonist's constant self-serving narration, while initially amusing, becomes repetitive and grating over the course of the audiobook.
The production quality varies throughout. While the sound design generally enhances the experience, there are moments when the various audio elements compete for attention, potentially pulling listeners out of the story. The music, while appropriate for the genre, occasionally overwhelms the narration.
For science fiction completists and those interested in ambitious audio productions, "The Invaders Plan" might merit attention as a curious artifact of the genre. However, casual listeners may find the investment of time difficult to justify given the numerous narrative and stylistic issues.
This is very much an audiobook that demands commitment, both in terms of time and patience. Whether that commitment pays off will largely depend on your tolerance for satirical excess and meandering narratives. For those considering diving into the Mission Earth series, it's worth noting that this 1st volume represents just the beginning of an extremely lengthy saga.
The story centers on Soltan Gris, our decidedly unreliable narrator, who chronicles the machinations of an alien civilization called Voltar and their covert plans regarding Earth. Through his narrative, we follow the exploits of Jettero Heller, a combat engineer tasked with preventing Earth's environmental destruction – not out of altruism, but because it threatens Voltar's future invasion plans.
The full-cast audio production deserves recognition for its ambitious scope. The various voice actors commit fully to their roles, bringing distinct personalities to the extensive cast of characters. However, the production's determination to dramatize every moment sometimes results in overly theatrical performances that may test listeners' patience.
Hubbard's narrative attempts to weave together elements of science fiction, satire, and social commentary. The author takes aim at numerous targets: bureaucracy, environmental degradation, corporate greed, and government incompetence. Yet these satirical jabs often feel heavy-handed, lacking the subtle wit that marks the best examples of the genre. The humor frequently descends into broad caricature, with many jokes being repeated well past their point of effectiveness.
The pacing presents another significant challenge. While the premise promises an exciting espionage tale with cosmic stakes, the story frequently gets bogged down in lengthy expositions and bureaucratic procedures. Scenes that could be handled efficiently stretch on for extended periods. At times, it feels as though the book serves more as a setup for the subsequent volumes rather than standing on its own merits.
That said, there are moments where Hubbard's imagination shines through. The detailed description of Voltar's society and technology shows creative world-building, even if the execution sometimes feels cluttered. The concept of an alien civilization manipulating Earth for its own purposes isn't new to science fiction, but the bureaucratic angle provides an interesting twist on the familiar trope.
The character development, however, leaves much to be desired. Most characters feel like broad sketches rather than fully realized individuals, often serving as vehicles for satire rather than believable personalities. The protagonist's constant self-serving narration, while initially amusing, becomes repetitive and grating over the course of the audiobook.
The production quality varies throughout. While the sound design generally enhances the experience, there are moments when the various audio elements compete for attention, potentially pulling listeners out of the story. The music, while appropriate for the genre, occasionally overwhelms the narration.
For science fiction completists and those interested in ambitious audio productions, "The Invaders Plan" might merit attention as a curious artifact of the genre. However, casual listeners may find the investment of time difficult to justify given the numerous narrative and stylistic issues.
This is very much an audiobook that demands commitment, both in terms of time and patience. Whether that commitment pays off will largely depend on your tolerance for satirical excess and meandering narratives. For those considering diving into the Mission Earth series, it's worth noting that this 1st volume represents just the beginning of an extremely lengthy saga.
November 22, 2014
When I first picked up this book i went yay, because I saw that it was satire and I wanted something humorous to read. After starting to read it, I slowly found out that I did not find it funny. The only parts I laughed a little at were when interactions with a computer were happening which were way to far and few in between all the other stuff.
That isn't to say that other people may not find it amusing. Now some joke I probably missed, but sometimes I could see something that i was suppose to find funny that I didn't think wre. Now some were bad jokes and others seem to be references that weren't relevant to me. This is likely due to the fact that the book was written years before I was born and so said references are out of date with me.
Now the writing was okay, so even without the funny it wouldn't have been horrible. What made it horrible was the fact that the story and it's progress was reliant on the characters and they were SSSSOOOOOO ANNNOOOYYYIIINNGG, especially at certain points in the story. It would be fine to a point but then a peak of a conflict would happen and I would just get a massive amount of aggravation; and as the story progressed it just got worse and worse.
I heard that people who like the book enjoyed the main interaction in which the narrator(main character/villain) is constantly trumped by the hero, who he is trying to trick. Unfortunately I do not like either of them. The hero, who i guess we're suppose to like, is a perfect hero of the male mary sue variety. Some how everyone likes him, even though he's really not exceptionally kind, more star jock that is ultra handsome and is friendly then saint. So that character I have no interest in at all; and then there is the other one, the villain who your suppose to dislike, only problem is I kind of sympathize with him, or at least I want to, but then he never learns and when people are being generally nice to him, he basically throws him off, which then makes him horribly aggravating jerk wad. So I'm suppose to enjoy when he gets defeated effortlessly by the hero, but the hero is annoying too, by prancing around doing whatever he wants without really caring what it's doing to a guy who he is suppose to have naively become friends with, and unknowingly defeat any schemes the villain comes up with because he's that great of a hero even though he's an incredibly intelligent and successful guy. I DON'T FREAKIN' BUY IT. Either he actually knows what he's doing and he's actually a terrible guy, or the story and character don't link up and the story is horrible in that sense. Either way the book sucks.
Oh, and then there is the female lead, aka. hero's romantic interest, who is so fake she has two separate personalities- an ice cold queen of heartlessness, and innocent little maiden lover for the hero. Just another anger inducing character.
In summery the book is absolutely horrible due to pure character frustration level, and I couldn't finish it.
That isn't to say that other people may not find it amusing. Now some joke I probably missed, but sometimes I could see something that i was suppose to find funny that I didn't think wre. Now some were bad jokes and others seem to be references that weren't relevant to me. This is likely due to the fact that the book was written years before I was born and so said references are out of date with me.
Now the writing was okay, so even without the funny it wouldn't have been horrible. What made it horrible was the fact that the story and it's progress was reliant on the characters and they were SSSSOOOOOO ANNNOOOYYYIIINNGG, especially at certain points in the story. It would be fine to a point but then a peak of a conflict would happen and I would just get a massive amount of aggravation; and as the story progressed it just got worse and worse.
I heard that people who like the book enjoyed the main interaction in which the narrator(main character/villain) is constantly trumped by the hero, who he is trying to trick. Unfortunately I do not like either of them. The hero, who i guess we're suppose to like, is a perfect hero of the male mary sue variety. Some how everyone likes him, even though he's really not exceptionally kind, more star jock that is ultra handsome and is friendly then saint. So that character I have no interest in at all; and then there is the other one, the villain who your suppose to dislike, only problem is I kind of sympathize with him, or at least I want to, but then he never learns and when people are being generally nice to him, he basically throws him off, which then makes him horribly aggravating jerk wad. So I'm suppose to enjoy when he gets defeated effortlessly by the hero, but the hero is annoying too, by prancing around doing whatever he wants without really caring what it's doing to a guy who he is suppose to have naively become friends with, and unknowingly defeat any schemes the villain comes up with because he's that great of a hero even though he's an incredibly intelligent and successful guy. I DON'T FREAKIN' BUY IT. Either he actually knows what he's doing and he's actually a terrible guy, or the story and character don't link up and the story is horrible in that sense. Either way the book sucks.
Oh, and then there is the female lead, aka. hero's romantic interest, who is so fake she has two separate personalities- an ice cold queen of heartlessness, and innocent little maiden lover for the hero. Just another anger inducing character.
In summery the book is absolutely horrible due to pure character frustration level, and I couldn't finish it.
December 19, 2013
As a disclaimer, I read this book fifteen years ago, so this review is quite likely to be bare bones and flawed. That being said, I would like to lay down why I found this to be a terrible book, while reserving the right to change both rating and review at a later date, as I somehow accumulated almost all of Mission Earth and Battlefield Earth and do intend to read all of them when I get around to the baseline Scientology works.
To put it mildly, and, again, this could well have been a result of me being in eighth grade at the time, I found this book amazingly tedious. All of the scheming and plotting is described in excruciating detail, and in this volume all they do is plan for the mission to Earth.
As I think back, I realize I still recall broad strokes of the plot. The book's narrator is an intelligence agent whose job is thrown into crisis when the parliament (I do not recall if that is the term Hubbard uses, but I'll stick with it since it is appropriate to the system of government) sends a special mission to scout a tiny planet, which they find is polluting itself to death. The intelligence agency decides to play the hand it's been dealt, and puts the narrator together with the pilot who flew the special mission in order to stop Earth from destroying itself before the Empire gets around to conquering it. How benevolent of them.
There are twists, turns, delays, and sheer what-the-fuckary, which stretch this first volume out over six hundred pages, keep in mind, there are nine more. Suffice to say, at the time, the tediousness of the narrative sucked whatever enjoyment I might have gotten from the plot. Again, the rating and review could change on a reread, so if any Scientologists attack this review, keep in mind you're attacking the reactions of a thirteen year old recalled by his twenty seven year old self.
To put it mildly, and, again, this could well have been a result of me being in eighth grade at the time, I found this book amazingly tedious. All of the scheming and plotting is described in excruciating detail, and in this volume all they do is plan for the mission to Earth.
As I think back, I realize I still recall broad strokes of the plot. The book's narrator is an intelligence agent whose job is thrown into crisis when the parliament (I do not recall if that is the term Hubbard uses, but I'll stick with it since it is appropriate to the system of government) sends a special mission to scout a tiny planet, which they find is polluting itself to death. The intelligence agency decides to play the hand it's been dealt, and puts the narrator together with the pilot who flew the special mission in order to stop Earth from destroying itself before the Empire gets around to conquering it. How benevolent of them.
There are twists, turns, delays, and sheer what-the-fuckary, which stretch this first volume out over six hundred pages, keep in mind, there are nine more. Suffice to say, at the time, the tediousness of the narrative sucked whatever enjoyment I might have gotten from the plot. Again, the rating and review could change on a reread, so if any Scientologists attack this review, keep in mind you're attacking the reactions of a thirteen year old recalled by his twenty seven year old self.
July 10, 2022
Picked this up after reading Battlefield Earth, my introduction to this author. I was hoping for something like the Foundation series or-- I don't know-- anything other than this pile of rubbish. I just don't quite know how to explain this series, this so-called decalogy of 10. I read well into the 2nd volume before figuring out that this was a cooky environmentalist story with ludicrous science introduced as the solution to Earth's woes. Not a fusion reactor, no, nothing that GRAND. Instead, we're given a new fancy carburetor for cars. Yay. Obviously I don't know what ultimately happens to the forgettable characters because I stopped reading halfway into volume 2. But I did finish this one and that was before I learned how crazy Hubbard had become as the high priest of his own religion and his series of self-absorbed narcissistic books about himself--and who publishes that stuff anyway?
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