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416 pages, Paperback
Published October 21, 2025
[…] “Fuck the rules,” Jesse snaps at him. “They don’t help you. They "control" you.”
Douglas says, “Why do you like being alive?”
Jesse blinks. Then, “I . . . don’t—”
“I like birds,” Douglas says. “And the way light can change shape. I like music and Oz and walking. I like films and sitting down. I like the way people smile. I like leaves and the sound my shoes make on concrete.”
“Don’t you want that forever?” Jesse asks.
Douglas shrugs, something he learned from Simon. “Forever is a long time. How can I appreciate it if I always have it for the rest of time?”
[…]
Douglas says, “I don’t understand how the world works, but I think if there are people like all of you, it can’t be so bad, right?”
Jesse falls asleep on his shoulder, breaths slow, drooling just a little.
Later, when Douglas is the only one left awake, he thinks, "I wouldn’t change this moment for anything."
And with no one watching, he kisses the top of Jesse’s head. It’s not like how he’s seen in films or read about in books. It feels like more.
Like everything.
He leaves them sleeping. It’s easier this way. They will wake up and he will be gone, but he thinks maybe they will remember him. He hopes the memory makes them smile.
Before he leaves the apartment for the last time, he does something he’s never done before.
He leaves a note.
Thank you for teaching me how to be human. I had a wonderful week. If you ever miss me, please click your heels together three times and say, “There’s no place like home.”
Your friend,
Douglas
[…]
[…] “There’s no place like home,” it says for reasons it doesn’t fully understand, but the ache is real. It’s in its chest and it’s real. As it clicks its heels together three times, it repeats: “There’s no place like home.” […]