Spoilers ahead.
Alright. Book 2: "How to Be a Pirate". I’m pretty sure this is the first one I read…? Not sure why I started at 2, but I guess that's my first bit of praise for this one- its excellent yet subtle summary of the previous book. This series isn't your average Common-or-Garden set of interchangeable children's stories (calling you out again, Stilton, come at me) where you can just start anywhere- the story is just a little bit important- but for the stupid little shitbrains like me who just start wherever the hell they please, 'How to Be a Pirate' manages to cater perfectly. As is customary of Cowell's writing, the transition between exposition and current events is flawless, and the storytelling feels in no way hindered by the unfortunately necessary explanation.
Speaking of the story, Cowell yet again manages to completely enrapt her audience. With the titular dragons an obvious ever-present, braindead children are sure to be amazed and astounded at every turn of the page, while the implicit themes this dedicated reviewer aims to bring to light are still there in spades- but we'll get to that. Most of these books- at least up until the series' thrilling conclusion, where the novels gain a little more focus- will star at least one new species of dragon to draw in the kids in droves, and while I didn't really realize it as a child, it does get pretty obvious- the Skullions, the Sharkworms, the Exterminators, all serve to the same purpose- edgy cool new unkillable predator dragon, completely irresistible to children. However, the Skullions- the blind, deaf but still insanely terrifying dragons that protect the treasure of Grimbeard of Ghastly- kind of turn the tide of the series' tone. Book 2 puts away the kiddie stuff and flawlessly scares the pants off the average ten year old. The Skullions- not to mention the horrific Monstrous Strangulator- give the reader the impression that the dragons are not just the main 'gimmick' of the series, but these ancient, primordial beings. It's a hard scale to grasp for a child, even with the massiveness of dragons like the Green Death of the first book, and it's, at times, unnerving to think about.
But we all know why we're here. Cowell doesn't shy away from beating the crap out her readers psyche, and this determined reviewer has had to pull out the big guns to really touch on the big issues: literary masculine critique.
As accurate as it may be, I will try to refrain from pointing out the phallic implications of the emphasis placed on the grandeur of ones sword throughout the novel, and indeed, the series- these are, again, children's books.
But we have yet another relevant faucet of evidence on this front: that of Hiccup's legacy. In his eventual ascension to King of the Wilderwest, this legacy is explored heavily, as will be made ever the more clear as we continue through the series. Specifically, Book 2 concerns the looming shadow of Grimbeard the Ghastly, not only over Hiccup himself, but the entire Hooligan tribe. The importance of masculinity is pretty obvious in the series, as can be seen in the dirty, gritty, hard-farting values of the Vikings- but it's also intensely clear in the long-dead expectations of Grimbeard unto his heir. The hunt for his treasure threatens to tear apart the Hooligan clan in their greed, and it is consistently made clear that only Grimbeard’s true heir will be able to find his lost booty. Hiccup's failure to do so causes an almost tangible aura of disappointment in the story, most explicitly from his own father. In the heavily patriarchal lineage of the Haddocks, Hiccup's branding as the runt of the litter is all the more clear in his defeat. Grimbeard's instructions to his future family are adamant that only the manliest of men will have the resolve to find his treasure, and it seems his prediction was correct.
But then we have the twist- the treasure on the Isle of the Skullions was only a ruse, and a mere smidgen of riches compared to the treasure hidden beneath the waves. Here, we learn that perhaps Grimbeard was not as oozingly manly as we were led to believe- after all, only one with cunning, cool-of-head and an unbreakable kinship with dragons could possibly reach the true treasure and escape alive. Perhaps the future of the Hooligan tribe isn't doomed to be held in the hands of warlords with walnut brains after all.
I disagree.
Absolutely nothing in Grimbeard's letter to Hiccup, or in his Last Will or Testament, point to this conclusion- while it can be and is implied, there is no evidence to support that Grimbeard's vision of his future heir was a boy like Hiccup. Grimbeard had envisioned a cold-blooded, watermelon-biceps pirate, and while it isn't stated explicitly, I believe that's why Hiccup leaves the treasure behind: not because he wants to preserve the peace of his tribe. Not because it would be near impossible to dredge up from the ocean floor. It's because he knows he is underserving of Grimbeard's legacy, and his tribe- his own father- would think the same. This world isn't a modern one, and people like Hiccup just aren't relevant in the eyes of the Barbaric Archipelago. It's a sad tale, to be sure, and maybe it's this first defeat that serves to spur on the rise of the future King of the Wilderwest- the classic revenge of the underdog.
Book 2 was, as I said, my introduction to the series, and I'll always hold a soft spot for it when I remember how significant these books were to me. Even when trying to place bias aside, however, Cowell still consistently upholds her literary prowess in creating a highly engaging tale, and I'm giving "How to Be a Pirate" (Book 2) a solid 8/10.
(On page 26, they use the Deadly 60 font. That's a whole extra point on the spot).