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Manhood: How to Be a Better Man - or Just Live with One

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From NFL player turned film and TV star Terry Crews comes a wise and warmhearted memoir chronicling his lifelong quest to become a good man, loving husband, and responsible father. What does it mean to be a man? Terry Crews, TV’s iconic “Old Spice Guy” and co-star of the hit Golden Globe Award–winning series Brooklyn Nine-Nine, has spent decades seeking the answer to that question. In Manhood, he shares what he’s learned, telling the amazing story of his rise to fame and offering straight-talking advice for men and the women who love them. A self-described “super-driven superstar alpha male,” Terry Crews embodies the manly ideal for millions worldwide. But as he looks back on his difficult childhood and shares hard-learned lessons from the many humbling experiences he endured to get where he is today, he shows how his own conception of manhood is constantly evolving. Crews offers up a lively, clear-eyed account of the ups and downs of his twenty-five-year marriage, revealing the relationship secrets that have kept it going—and the one dark secret that nearly tore it apart. Along the way, he shares his evolving appreciation for looking good, staying fit, and getting it done for the people you love. Being a man is about more than keeping your core strong. It’s about keeping your core values stronger. With insightful observations on spirituality, work, and family, Terry Crews shows men how to face their inner demons, seek forgiveness from those they’ve wronged, and tear down the walls that prevent them from forging meaningful relationships with others. From the NFL gridiron to the Hollywood backlot, Terry Crews has survived it all with his sense of humor—and his marriage—intact. In Manhood he shows men everywhere that real strength is not measured in muscle mass—unless that muscle is the heart.From the Hardcover edition.

288 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2014

210 people are currently reading
2680 people want to read

About the author

Terry Crews

10 books88 followers
Terry Alan Crews (born July 30, 1968) is an American actor and former American football player. He is best known for playing Julius on the UPN/CW sitcom Everybody Hates Chris, Sergeant Terry Jeffords on the NBC comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and for his appearances in Old Spice commercials, as well as films such as Friday After Next, Idiocracy, and The Expendables series. He is a host of America's Got Talent.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 217 reviews
Profile Image for Trish.
1,418 reviews2,704 followers
October 16, 2018
This wasn’t the book I thought it would be when I sought it out after watching Trevor Noah interview Terry Crews about the cancellation and subsequent surprise pick-up of further episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I hadn’t seen that TV series but I was so impressed with what Crews said in the interview about masculinity and how it really never was all that good for men, either. And then there was the funniest man on late night (Noah) saying over and over how funny Crews was…well, I knew I had to find out what I’d missed.

Crews grew up in Flint, Michigan in an abusive household. His father was a foreman in a GM plant. Terry and his brother as youngsters were fearful for their physical safety. Terry dreamed of getting out of Flint, and like many boys of a certain age, he hoped an athletic scholarship would provide that opportunity. He got his chance, and this look at college athletics is exactly what we’ve been learning over the past couple of years from journalistic sources. Extremely exploitative and oftentimes racist, these school programs exist not to further the career opportunities of teens, but to pull in money for the school with very little accountability either to the administration or to the students.

Crews’ scholarship was constantly being withheld or given back, not allowing him to plan his education path, while the amount of time required to play on the team meant there was no time or energy for anything else while he was in college, giving him less education than he needed and few opportunities to grow into the well-rounded, responsible person we expect of college graduates. From there he jumped from the frying pan into the fire, accepting a bid from an NFL team.

Here the exploitation of the players was greater by several degrees of magnitude. Unless one is a first-string player, there is precious little money considering the physical risks, much of the expense of which the player himself has to front in advance while ‘practice’ is taking place. We learn also that players are not intended to sign contracts offered them should they prove capable enough to win games, but are expected to work for half the contract value or less so that wage prices are kept low. One begins to understand why an NFL franchise is such a lucrative business opportunity, and why someone like Donald Trump would have loved to get his hands on such a opportunity to scam the tax authorities, players, fans, etc. It’s a virtual mint, if one doesn’t mind the slave-owner aspect.

Crews shares examples of bad experiences he’d had with coaches, teachers, or pastors which reminded him of how constrained his opportunities were. Somewhere he’d developed a sense of his own worth, and grew weary of “being threatened by people he did not respect.” He found a woman he did respect while still in college, and tied her fortunes to his early on. He seemed to have the right instincts because she has been his rock during extremely trying financial times in the NFL and after, when he was trying to break into show business—not as an actor, but as a producer, writer, animator.

Crews, right from the opening paragraphs of his memoir shows his extraordinariness, and makes the ordinariness of the people around him all the more apparent. A black man in those days was just another expendable person, and the fact his college coaches did not put him in a position which would show his skill Crews suggests was due to racism. Once in the NFL, it seems was more a lack of mentorship and a culture of exploitation that did not allow him to shine, making us feel even more sorry for the men who actually made the team and stayed on it. Money doesn’t make up for everything, no matter what they say.

And we get a glimpse of the NFL culture and what it is like to socialize with other NFL players on the constantly on-the-move circuit of games away from home. It sounds perfectly dreadful, the forced camaraderie among the displaced. Crews recounts once getting on a plane after he'd been cut from one team and was being called to another across the country. He did not have enough money to fly to the new team. Because he’d paid with hastily-borrowed cash, airport security assumed he was a drug dealer and pulled him off the plane. Cripes. Can you imagine any one of any other race willing to put up with that kind of bull? He was plenty pissed off, but needed to get where he was going so didn’t scream the house down.

Well, it is kind of a miracle this man survived as long as he did, and accomplished as much as he has. While he is apologizing for his anger management issues and resentments, I’m thinking…wait. You mean we don’t have the right to be royally pissed off when we are jerked around? He’d say that it does us no good, and we need to frame the issue differently so that it doesn’t trip us up on our way to a goal. Now that I’ve seen him talk online about his experience with sexual abuse by a talent agent, I’m thinking he is the hottest property around.

Crews does talk at the end of this memoir that manhood used to mean being right and in control. Now it is more about getting along with others and allowing everyone to live their best lives. He relies on the talents and goodwill of his long-time wife Rebecca and isn’t afraid to acknowledge the part she plays in holding up his world. He is inclined to talk about compassion for our own, and other's, failings is a good way to heal a rift. He suggests starting with oneself, rather than expecting someone else to take on that challenge. He really is a role model, and doesn’t just talk the talk.
Profile Image for Tristan Williams.
232 reviews2 followers
July 29, 2014
I did not know I could love Terry Crews more than I already did.
Profile Image for Vannessa Anderson.
Author 0 books223 followers
January 29, 2015
Author Crews opened up and let it all hang out! He talked about his immaturity, naiveté, how his anger was self-sabotage, his love/hate relationship with God, his obsession with pornography, his awakening to racism and how he learned about it up close and personal, racial profiling, how being a people pleaser didn’t get him ahead, and insecurity. What kept me mesmerized was the honestly and openness.
Author Crews told us how, as a child, religion and his parents constant fighting kept him in fear.

Author Crews youth was not unlike many growing up in a home with a religious fanatic mother and a dad who was a good provider but a drunk when he wasn’t working and how neither parent knew how to serve as role models. He spent his early years wanting to leave his parents home and live a better life, a life without fear and a life with possibilities. Most of all he wanted to learn how to be a man.

Manhood is a book for parents and for those wanting to be parents and boys and men who want to learn what it takes to be a man. Author Crews never gave up on his dreams and achieved success in spite of circumstances by staying on course, remaining optimistic and having a sense of self and perseverance.

Manhood demonstrates how parents, family and educators can steal your dreams if you let them and how they can screw you up with their absurd beliefs.

From the book

As men, we will study how to be the best architect, the best football player, the best actor. We’ll spend all the time we can find on our careers. But we need to be spending more time studying how to be a great husband, how to be a great father, how to be a great man.

…as men, we see our wives as sexual beings, and sometimes this mean we don’t see them as people or value them as real human beings, beyond the bedroom


If you’re looking for a great read then look no further than Manhood by Terry Crews.
Profile Image for Rosalind M.
641 reviews28 followers
August 6, 2018
4.75 stars. The title isn't quite appropriate, but I enjoyed what felt like an earnest conversation with Terry Crews far more than I expected to. The instructional material the title suggest is conveyed more through "This is how I handled myself, and I was wrong" than through "This is how the Better Man should react to this given situation" .
Profile Image for Megan.
370 reviews3 followers
July 18, 2014
Terry Crews has some fairly important things to say in this book. Two of my favorites are "All a kid needs is one good word from someone he believes" and when writing about marital problems, "The kids already knew something was wrong, and if I hadn't told them, they would have thought it was them." He shares meaningful revelations about life, parenthood, marriage, selfishness, and masculinity. What's most impressive is that he also gives honest narratives of the mistakes he made along the way-- in some cases, many, many times-- that taught him these lessons. He also writes openly about his rough upbringing and abusive parents.

I want to give 5 stars to this beloved Brooklyn Nine-Nine actor, but I am rating a book, not the actor. Technically speaking, this book is kind of a mess. The pacing is off; too much time is spent on overly detailed information on some subjects, but then more interesting topics are glossed over quickly. Also, I think Terry Crews actually wrote or dictated this book. This is both a blessing and a curse. It has a distinct and casual voice, which is nice in that you can really tell that he's telling his story, but the colloquialism also leaves things poorly described and results in some stilted dialogue. He is also prone to grand hyperbole and bold overstatements which are a little hard to swallow (Always, never, just one thing...). Then a secondary writer seems to have needed to interject a couple times to explain complex ideas, which altered the vocabulary in a noticeable way.

In any case, while the book was a little tough to read due to its structural flaws, I liked the story. I'm impressed by how he changed his life around so completely after being beaten down so many times, and that he was willing to publicly own up to it and try to help others with this book.
October 4, 2018
just finished this and i really liked it. it is a memoir but a lot of life lessons and inspiration. some reviews were disappointed by the title. basically Terry shows one how to be a man by his example. the book shows how Terry finally reached manhood and learned how to be a better man.

i did a search for Terry crews and manhood on the interwebz. found great interviews he did while promoting the book. they have even more life lessons and talks about what it really means to be a man in today's society.

i think i highlighted all of these, plus more when i read the ebook. :-) https://wealthygorilla.com/terry-crew...

so real and honest. i think they call it raw. https://www.npr.org/2014/05/17/311911...

haven't finished listening to these but again honest and real. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbypB...

short and sweet Q&A that sums up the book very well. https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fi...
Profile Image for Henry.
177 reviews22 followers
Read
December 21, 2021
3.5 stars

A few years ago, I watched a long interview with Terry Crews. I had only known him from the Old Spice commercials and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and I was struck by how self-reflective and multi-talented he was (NFL player, successful actor, talented artist, innovative furniture designer).

I picked up this book because I was curious how he developed so many talents and to see the way he thinks. This time, I was surprised by how much of his life he spent being angry, resentful, or irresponsible. The thoughtful Terry Crews I saw in the interview was a relatively new version of him.

My friend Karen once said to me that all memoirs are works of fiction. However, I find that I believe what Crews says because he talks so openly about the shortcomings throughout his life. By the end of the book, it’s clear that his personal growth is his biggest accomplishment.
Profile Image for Aletha.
164 reviews
July 29, 2018
I've loved Terry Crews since I saw him in White Chicks. But I REALLY loved him ever since I saw that he has feminist values and spoke out about his own sexual assault. When I found out he had written a book I immediately put it on my to read list.

What I liked about this book was how honest Terry Crews was about the things he talked about. I liked how he admitted that even while writing the book he noticed that he was trying to shift blame on people when it was really on him. I can say it enough, he was so honest and sincere. I think he really down played their hardships throughout the book. You could tell things were tight with money but he never went into much detail. Perhaps a few mentions of actually starving off and on and trying to look for change in the couch to get a burger. Even when he talked about the collectors calling and the debt. I'd like to think it was because he didn't want pity since he knew that some of his behavior put him and his wife in those situations.

His wife sounds like amazing person and a true model of a woman that supports her partner.

The book offered glimpses into what it's like to get into the NFL. It sounds tough and full of heartbreak. I don't follow that sport but it sounds pretty terrible. I'm glad he had more aspirations than just football.

I loved that he played the flute in the church choir and paints. There's all these things you'd never know about him just by looking at him - this rippled, massive wall of muscle. I'm definitely going to have to start watching Brooklyn Nine Nine and try to revisit the Expendables movies.

If you like Terry Crews, this is a definite read for you.
Profile Image for John.
433 reviews2 followers
December 15, 2018
An hard hitting, pull no punches look into the life of an extraordinary man, “Manhood” takes you through the life and tribulations of Terry Crews, an actor everyone feels familiar with in one way or another.

Terry’s story is one of aspiration, of pushing oneself to the limit for better and for worse. He doesn’t shy away from the hardships of childhood, the turbulent times in his personal life as an adult, but always manages to turn a sunnier light onto situations. That positivity, the ability to take even the hardest of hardships and reframe then into a more honest and positive light are what really sell this story.

Terry Crews is a remarkable, admirable father, husband, and human for the relatability and truth he shows through his words. I’ve always enjoyed him, but in reading his journey, I’ve come to a newfound respect.
744 reviews58 followers
April 12, 2025
While this book purports to be about how one ought to go about being or being with a man, it is more a memoir than a how-to. While the chapters on his work on films and in television are interesting, the tone never seems quite resolved. And yet, I didn't want to stop reading. Part of this may be because the narrative is compelling but I favor the idea that I didn't want to pick it up again. He is open about his struggles with pornography and his subsequent seeking help for his addiction, which may be helpful for men or boys who desire to be free from the habit.
His narcissism, though, troubled me. He does become aware of it and it is in some respects an admirable book, while ultimately it left me wanting something more.
Profile Image for Patti.
2,091 reviews
July 2, 2014
A very quick and easy read.

Learned a lot about Mr. Crews, who I pretty much knew as President Camacho and Chris's Dad. Although, I do love him as Sgt. Terry Jeffords on Brooklyn Nine Nine.

I enjoyed reading about his childhood, his football career, and how much adversity he faced to get where he is right now. He overcame a lot, realized his faults, and made his life (and the life of his family) better.
Profile Image for Amir Rezaee.
1 review19 followers
August 10, 2017
Firstly, his wife sounds like an incredible human being. She was the real MVP. Crews recounts his whole life while explaining major events that shaped him into the man he is. I really appreciated his vulnerability and honesty. Regardless of your stature, to be as honest as we was to people and the public (the book itself) is quite great.

The book is both inspiring and a solid examination on what happens to men who grow up with toxic ideals of manliness and identity.
36 reviews1 follower
March 3, 2015
Read in one day. I love Terry and this book kept with his normal loveable persona. There are both serious topics and the normal day to day of life that he experienced trying to achieve his goals.
Profile Image for Whitney.
16 reviews1 follower
December 31, 2018
An excellent memoir on toxic masculinity and how one man (mostly) overcomes it
Profile Image for Torie.
290 reviews30 followers
February 4, 2019
More like 3.5/5 stars.

I enjoyed this brutally honest memoir and was really surprised to read about Terry Crews’ career and home life. I remember when he became a star from White Chicks and remember hearing he was a football player. I wasn’t aware of how little he played in the NFL, how many times he got cut from teams, and how deeply he and his family were struggling to get by before he made it big with White Chicks.

The most detailed he gets in the book is his really rough, traumatizing childhood and the back and forth emotionally draining experience of working in the NFL. His film career mostly highlights his struggles and anxieties with getting each part, then glazes over the actual production (which is diff from a lot of other celeb memoirs). For example, he maybe spends half a page talking about Brooklyn Nine Nine and a sentence referencing his Old Spice commercials.

It’s interesting what he chooses to focus on—the moments he chooses to focus on. He spent more time talking about fashion and a pink suit he wore to the red carpet than he did about any of his tv shows or movies. I liked hearing about how his job sweeping and his other job being a security guard, though.

Anyway, pretty interesting overall, but it sometimes felt a little distracted and like it needed a little more meat at some parts. He glazed over a lot.
Profile Image for Yasmeen.
Author 1 book10 followers
August 7, 2018
I read this book after 'The Mask of Masculinity' by Lewis Howes as part of my journey to understand the men in my life and men at large a little better.

To be honest I did not get what I expected, instead, I got a really honest, raw, inspiring story of how Crews struggled in the NFL AND in Hollywood.

Crews talks about how many people - teachers, coaches, agents, producers and the NFL at large treated him poorly. In my mind, this was likely due to the simple fact that we was a large black man and we live in a racist world. However what I truly appreciated is that Crews owns his own mistakes, his naivety, narcissism, selfishness and addiction to pornography. He delves into his difficult childhood with an alcoholic father and a house filled with domestic violence. It's very real and it didn't have to be. It really is endearing.
Also? Its inspirational, Crews tenacity and work ethic. How he knew what he wanted, went for it and REFUSED to give up in the face of failure, again and again, as well as his ability to reframe poor situations is something we can all learn from.

Final note, it blows my mind that he and his wife are still together. Not just because of the 'blow-up' that happened between them. But because of all the difficulty and hardship, they went through. It is amazing that she stood by him and I would definitely read a book by her or both of them about marriage.
Profile Image for Shaun.
289 reviews17 followers
May 24, 2022
How can a memoir be both superficial and introspective at the same time? Crews pulls it off, somehow. He's very open and honest about his upbringing and shortcomings, which is what one would expect. However, I felt there was too much glossing over of big parts of his life. Just a passing mention of his days working with Old Spice? Where's the detail?

The title is a bit misleading. You'd assume it's almost a self-help book, but it's very much not that, just a memoir. There are no real life lessons you can glean for yourself, other than comparing to what he went through. Overall a bit disappointed. He probably should have waited a bit longer to write the book to have more time to reflect on the trials and tribulations he just had gone through.
Profile Image for Kelly Coles.
102 reviews8 followers
June 5, 2020
I did not want to read this, especially because of the cheesy description on the jacket. But I dove in because my book club picked it.

Honestly, through reading this, I learned to not judge a book by its cover. This story was not at all what I expected. Much less cheesy self-help fodder than the description makes it out to be.

Terry Crews has a very interesting life story. I respect his vulnerability throughout, and I hope it does help other men dismantle the pressures they put on themselves. It could have been more to the point and cohesive, but it was definitely all in his voice and therefore engaging.
Profile Image for Arunaabh Shah.
54 reviews25 followers
October 4, 2020
Mixed emotions about this book. I became a huge Terry Crews fan after his podcast with Tim Ferriss (https://youtu.be/gEde9awCB3E) and his work in Brooklyn 99. The man has gone through a lot and his struggle is as inspiring as a story can get. Terry Crews is extremely talented but somehow the book just had broken flow. Turning from one page to the next felt disconnected. There were a lot of good stories in the book but it just wasn't that well written. 3 stars. For Terry Crews being who he is.
Profile Image for Allory Plamondon.
24 reviews
May 25, 2020
I’ve grown up knowing who Crews’ is. Reading his book of course allowed me to get to know him as a person, not just an actor. I read his autobiography because it was a book club selection and glad I did!
The book was more “life story” in the beginning and middle of the book, which was needed to understand where Crews’ is coming from when he speaks on manhood. Then at the end he connects the lessons he’s has learned through life.
The book was written in 2015 and I’d be curious to know how it would differ if it had been written in 2020. Crews has stepped into the advocacy role for many different social issues that are currently hanging over society. I wonder if this would drastically change the tone of the book as he has had more time to explore the topics he mentions at the end of the book.
Profile Image for Lil Old Bookworm.
676 reviews15 followers
September 17, 2018
More of a memoir then a "how to" book, this was such a compelling read. Terry owns up to all the crap he's done in his life, including his narcissistic qualities and the porn addiction that almost cost him his marriage and his family, while still dropping along little life lessons along the way to the reader about how to learn from his mistakes, and that it's never too late to make changes in your life now.
Profile Image for Alexandre Fonseca.
6 reviews
May 1, 2023
What a great book. Terry is a true artist, not only because he’s skillful in acting and arts, but how he can write and choose the words. A great autobiography and life lesson. I encourage anybody to read it!
Profile Image for Casey.
235 reviews4 followers
April 30, 2019
I selected this book to meet the "Written by a Celebrity You Admire" bullet of my personal reading challenge. I've been a fan of Terry Crews from the moment I started watching Brooklyn 99, and my admiration only grew when he opened up about his sexual assault and support of the #MeToo movement and the Sexual Assault Survivors' Rights Act.

I really liked Crews' straight forward style—the book feels like a conversation, and the warmth brings the reader in to recollect the series of events that Crews writes about, events and episodes which helped develop his ever changing definition of manhood and manliness.

Like many people have said, this is definitely less how to / self help and more memoir, but there are excellent points about being a better man all the same. Crews speaks frankly about toxic masculinity and how it hurt him (and subsequently caused him to be hurtful toward his loved ones), and how we as men need to and can do better. Crews acknowledges his mistakes and his faults, and how he's constantly striving to improve himself mentally and emotionally as well as physically, the honesty (again the by-product of his straightforward, conversational style) more than once made me a bit misty eyed.

I loved this book. It's perhaps the best piece of nonfiction I've read in a long time, and I can't recommend it enough.
Profile Image for Stacey.
248 reviews1 follower
August 30, 2014
I'm still rooting for this hometown boy, but this memoir just isn't very good. Although clearly a narcissist, Crews doesn't paint himself in the best light. He doesn't seem to understand which things make him an ass, though. He also focuses on the less interesting aspects of his life overall. Oh well, you go Terry Crews, no misguided memoir will make me stop digging you.
409 reviews7 followers
October 9, 2014
I am definitely not the target audience. This is an inspirational tale aimed at young men who lack role models in their life. Within that aspect I can't judge the book, but I thought there would be something else to the book. No funny stories, no specifics about the NFL or film industry, just him reassessing his life and trying to put a positive spin on everything.
112 reviews5 followers
October 19, 2014
I wanted to enjoy it. In the first couple of chapters I thought I might. I ended up being more intrigued by the strength his wife has and in the details behind the NFL practice squad politics.

I like him as an actor but I don't find tons of inspiration from him as an author. I'm not sure without his "break" he really would have much to say...and it seems he has more lessons to learn
486 reviews1 follower
January 26, 2020
It was alright, but, as much as I like Terry Crews the guy, he's just not a great writer. It seemed to lack all the charisma and humor that he has in his interviews (which is how I found out about the book) and shows. Lots of 'telling' rather than 'showing,' that sort of thing. Not bad but not required reading by any means.
5 reviews
October 20, 2015
Inspiring how much strength it took Terry Crews to admit his weaknesses as a man and his addictions and rise up to be the man he is today.

Goes to show even the famous have battle to be fought and with the faith of God behind you can overcome anything.
Profile Image for Johnzie Kim.
2 reviews2 followers
June 17, 2017
Terry deserves all the success he has and he shares important lessons persistence and willpower.

His wife sounds like an incredible person. She really hung in there for Terry through his volatile journey and encouraged him at his darkest hours. Respect.
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