When it was cold
on our hillside, and you cried
in the crib rocking
through the darkness, on wood
knifed down to the curve of the smile, a sadness
stranger than ours, all of it
flowing from the other world,
I used to come to you
and sit by you
and sing to you.
”Under the Maud Moon”
Many fathers experience the nightmare Kinnell explores in this 10-chapter poem: Birth is the beginning of the end. Everyone we meet, especially our beloved daughters and sons, are dying as soon as they emerge crying. If that seems trite or uninteresting, don’t bother. If, like me, you felt the chill shadow of mortality when you first held a son or daughter, this poem is for you. This poem depicts the thin line between sanity and insanity, between living and dying, between community and emptiness. It’s truly The Book of Nightmares.
Be warned: Kinnell dismantles the support of the Christian church as well as New Age beliefs in his narrative. Without a God-given plan or purpose, Kinnell’s narrative is bleaker, emptier. For me, it made the nightmare worse. Everyone is born to die. What do we do when faced with that irrefutable fact? Kinnell’s narrator slips through the poem searching and questioning, and while there’s faint glimmers of hope, it’s difficult to discern in the dark wanderings.
In the end, Kinnell’s book is oddly satisfying. Kinnell is asking questions for which no philosopher has provided soul-reassuring answers in thousands of years of thinking, questions we should clearly understand and ponder deeply. With these questions guiding us, we are better prepared for the inevitable tragedies fate has prepared for us:
We who live out our plain lives, who put
our hand into the hand of whatever we love
as it vanishes,
as we vanish,
and stumble toward what will be, simply by arriving,
a kind of fate…
”The Call Across the Valley of Not-Knowing”