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335 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2014

"You don’t battle somebody for twenty-three years and then trust them with your heart overnight."




"Adam was the only person I had ever known who made me feel so much. He filled me up inside in more ways than one."



"Want one?" he offered.
"Sure, thanks," I replied. He proceeded to knock exactly one tic tac into his palm and hand it to me. "Are you sure you can spare this?" I asked solemnly.
"How many did you want?"
"Well, more than one. Who gives somebody one tic tac? Would it kill to be a little more generous? Some psychologist somewhere probably has some theory about one tic tac givers and fear of commitment."
"Fear of commitment, my ass. You should be committed, you loon. If you were intended to have more than one tic tac, they would have just made tic tacs bigger. This is regulation sized tic tac, and it should be more than enough to satisfy your breath freshening needs," he said, sounding affronted.
"A tic tac is not merely a breath freshener, it is a candy," I pointed out, voice rising in anger. Who was he calling a loon? "And they make them small on purpose, so you'll think you're getting more, and so you'll run out faster when someone asks for one, and you will give them a few!"
"Why would someone ask for A tic tac when they really wanted several tic tacs? What does that say about their psychology?! Why not be honest from the get-go about what you want?!" he shouted back at me.
"I didn't ask for one! You offered me one, God damn it!"
"And as for your other points, it is primarily a breath freshener, and maybe you should alert the media about your great tic tac size conspiracy!"

