Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers--and How You Can Too

by Soo Kim Abboud, Jane Y. Kim

Asians and Asian-Americans make up 4% of the U.S. population...and 20% of the Ivy League. Now find out how they do it. The numbers speak for 18% of Harvard's population; 25% of Columbia's; 42% of Berkeley's; 24% of Stanford's; 25% of Cornell's... What are Asian parents doing to start their kids on the road to academic excellence at an early age?  What can all parents do to help their children ace tests, strive to achieve, and reach educational goals? In this book, two sisters-a doctor and a lawyer whose parents came from South Korea to the U.S. with two
hundred dollars in their pockets-reveal the practices that lead Asian-Americans to academic, professional, and personal success.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help

224 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2005

About the author

Dr. Soo Kim Abboud is a Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, and is active in the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Otolaryngology, and the Association of Women's Surgeons.

Reviews

[Sera · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars; I rounded my rating up to 3 because it is the holidays, and I am feeling generous.

Overall, I must say that I was pretty disappointed by this book. I was looking for Asian cultural insights that I could use as a parent, but unfortunately, only about half the book took this route. The rest of it was common sense parenting that could come from most any culture. At one point, the authors even criticize the Asian way of teaching. They believe that "drilling" and "repetition", which I understand from my Asian friends is the cornerstone of educational instruction in Asia, to be an inappropriate teaching methodology. If that's the case, then I felt misled about the type of book that I was purchasing.

I also found the advice in the book to be contradictory at times. For example, there's an entire chapter on how parents should spend every last cent they have on their children's education and make personal sacrifices as needed to effectuate that goal. Then, later in a book, there's an entire chapter on how parents who have money should make their kids pay for their own education so they don't become spoiled and lazy. I understand the concern here, but making this distinction goes against the primary premise of the book, which is to instill a love of learning in a child and the value of an education that goes along with it.

Nevertheless, I did find some value reading the book in that confirmed many of the things that I am already doing as a parent.

In light of the foregoing, I would say skip this book. I'm sure that there are better ones out there for those parents looking to read something along these lines.

[Sam · Rating 1 out of 5]

The ur-Amy Chua, this book predates the infamous “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” but shares that book’s fetishization of “Asian values.” While the authors are not as brutal as Chua, their parenting opinions still fall along similar lines.

[Tnf1228 · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book reads as a series of over generalizations. The bottom lines are mostly known through the lens of behavioral analysis or otherwise presumed by listening and paying attention in the world.

[Charis Isaac · Rating 2 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish. Read the first three chapters and skimmed through the rest. Found it repetitive and over-simplified and sometimes contradictory.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband bought this for us. Overall, I liked this book, it was really easy to read and had simple organized checklists. It is based on the authors (Soo and Jane) personal views and upbringings, but I found it to be relatable and useful. I will likely revisit this book from time to time as my child grows.

[Njeri · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is written from the perspective of 2 sisters raised by THEIR Asian parents - yes, they have some examples from their friends but the sample size does not justify generalizing to ALL Asian parents. I don't think either of them have their own children so it is about their parent's parenting style - if they haven't tested out these tips on their own kids, I'm wary of testing them out on mine. The writing style is not varied and becomes monotonous after a few chapters. The focus is on helping kids achieve fulfillment in high earning fields. They discourage parents from letting kids go into "high risk" careers (art, music, writing). Their argument is that financial instability will not lead to happiness. They do concede that financial security will not lead to happiness but it does not hurt. I once read or heard somewhere that middle class families raise their children to work for money while wealthy families teach their children to make their money work for them. It would be nice if all kids had the ability and desire to go into high earning fields. The reality is that some kids will not be fulfilled in those areas. Rather than have a miserable child, it may be helpful to teach them how to make their money work for them (i.e. how to make sound investments) so that they can pursue their talents, regardless of how much can be made in those areas. This would mean that in addition to helping children identify their strengths, parents would also be teaching their kids how to make sound financial decisions so that money is a means to an end, and not the goal in and of itself. Like with all self-help books, I found some good points that I will try to implement. They talk about instilling a love of learning, creating a sense of family pride, and realizing that no one can provide a child's upbringing as successfully as the parents (or primary caregivers). They advise parents to be involved in their children's lives rather than take a backseat to teachers, coaches, etc. In summary - a not-so-interesting read with a few great gems.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book as it was about two sisters who were raised by Asian parents who stressed education very strongly.
One of the things that made me think, is when the child was struggling, both of the authors parents would make dramatic changes in their schedules to correct the error until they saw that the problem was resolved. They had family meetings as to how everyone in the family could help the child that did not have a good report card and also that the day the children received report cards was a major day in their lives.
The parents seemed to want to help the children succeed academically. The only thing I was thinking was that wasn't there alot of pressure on the kids? Maybe they don't know any other way because it is there family of origin, but I think it is very much against mainstream America.
The only thing in this book that is lost, is that we don't have it from the parents perspective.
It would have been interesting to hear the book from the perspective of the parents.

[Kami · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of this was obvious, but Soo and Jane pointed out that parents should have a good attitude about work if they want their kids to want to get a good education to have a fulfilling career and life. I realized that also applies to everything, service, church, work, friends, children, etc. Not that I have a bad attitude, but I should pay more attention to have positive attitude about things most important to me.

I also really liked the points about education being a family endeavor, everyone working together to achieve academic success. Learning to set short and long term goals as well. I found little nuggets I liked her and there.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

The secrets are well laid out. I found many to be things that I completely agree with but I may be lacking in some of those areas. I do not wholly agree with secret 11. But every family and person has a different point of view on life and their kids futures. Overall a very thought provoking book.

[Tira Wakayama]

hahaha! this book my mom bought me... very interesting.

[Nicolai · Rating 1 out of 5]

one generation away from a tin shack thinking.

rich dad, poor dad!!

[Stephanie]

Greatinformation to know for my kids!

[Kenitta · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I took away of lot of tips to incorporate with my children.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some fairly common sense advice about raising kids. A much more balanced approach than the "Battle of the Tiger Mom" but not nearly as entertaining to read.

[Alycia Wells · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read

[Stephen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I found this book frightening for the simple fact that the writers seemed completely unaware of the model minority stereotype. Their "how to guide" is based upon anecdotal evidence.