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Tucker Max #4
Sloppy Seconds
New York Times bestselling author Tucker Max has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time and culled out what you might call the "best of the rest" in his final set of 100% true, 100% exclusive stories.
Tucker Max's books-- I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell , Assholes Finish First , and Hilarity Ensues --are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They've sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success. As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest," and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds , like a book version of Deleted Scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.
Tucker Max's books-- I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell , Assholes Finish First , and Hilarity Ensues --are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They've sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success. As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest," and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds , like a book version of Deleted Scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.
288 pages, Paperback
Published September 4, 2012
452 people are currently reading
2187 people want to read
About the author
Tucker Max
18 books914 followersTucker Max's first book I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, is a #1 New York Times Best Seller, spent five years on the list, and has over 2 million copies in print. His second book, Assholes Finish First, and his third book, Hilarity Ensues, are also NY Times Best Sellers. He co-wrote and produced the movie based on his life/book, also titled “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.” He has also been credited with being the originator and leader of a new literary genre, “fratire,” is only the third writer (after Malcolm Gladwell and Michael Lewis) to ever have three books on the NY Times Nonfiction Best Seller List at one time, and was nominated to the Time Magazine 100 Most Influential List in 2009.
Tucker Max received his BA from the University of Chicago in 1998, and his JD from Duke Law School in 2001. He even attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he neglected to buy any of his textbooks for his final two years and spent part of one semester–while still enrolled in classes–living in Cancun. He currently lives in Austin, Texas.
Tucker Max received his BA from the University of Chicago in 1998, and his JD from Duke Law School in 2001. He even attended Duke Law School on an academic scholarship, where he neglected to buy any of his textbooks for his final two years and spent part of one semester–while still enrolled in classes–living in Cancun. He currently lives in Austin, Texas.
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December 19, 2023
This is part of my attempt to go back and review some of the books from my early (pre-review writing) Goodreads days. And, well, congrats, Tucker Max - after 7.5 years on Goodreads and almost 1000 books later, this is still the very worst thing I've ever read.
I loved Tucker Max as an edgy twenty-something, but I find him far less charming now that I'm old(er) and crotchety. That combined with the fact that this is a book of "sloppy seconds" (that is, stories that weren't good enough to make it into his real books), this was just a horrible, no good, very bad read.
Too bad you can't give a book zero stars on Goodreads, because this one would be the perfect candidate. Overall rating: 0.05 stars rounded up, but only because I don't have a choice in the matter.
I loved Tucker Max as an edgy twenty-something, but I find him far less charming now that I'm old(er) and crotchety. That combined with the fact that this is a book of "sloppy seconds" (that is, stories that weren't good enough to make it into his real books), this was just a horrible, no good, very bad read.
Too bad you can't give a book zero stars on Goodreads, because this one would be the perfect candidate. Overall rating: 0.05 stars rounded up, but only because I don't have a choice in the matter.
July 17, 2012
I read I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell several years ago after a friend loaned it to me, telling me it was hilarious. I didn't like the book -- it sounded like I was reading an undersexed freshman alcoholic's wish journal -- and I was amazed my friend thought that I would. I was even more amazed to hear that it was on the NYT's best sellers list. I did a little research into the author, opening me up to the world of Tucker Max and his very vocal fans and critics.
First of all, Tucker Max is a jerk. He drinks to excess, is verbally abusive to nearly everyone, and treats women nearly exclusively as sex objects. Every single story -- literally every single one -- is about one or all of these traits. In this sense, there's nothing new here. I've heard talk that his books have spawned a new genre called "fratire" (fraternity satire), but that's like putting biofocals on a swamp rat and calling it a professor of sludge. These stories are not clever, insightful, or even well-written, and since they claim to be about real events (there's apparently a lot of dispute about this), you can't also claim that they are a satire, unless you want to use that term to apply to Max's entire life. Even Tucker himself himself disputes this. Quoting the author from the HuffPost blog, Tucker says that "fratire" is not about alcoholism, unabashed rudeness or cavalier sex, but is instead "nothing more than men writing about being men in an honest and authentic way."
Of course, men are different everywhere. Tucker's insistence that he is tapping into a ubiquitous and truthful vein of what makes dudes dudes is wishful thinking. These books are about what makes Tucker Max Tucker Max and nothing more. (You can argue against this by pointing at the book's sales numbers, but that's a common logical error. People buy books for any number of reasons, and not just because they speak to or touch an essential part of themselves or humanity. After all, the Bible is the greatest-selling book in the world, but that doesn't make all of its purchasers Christians nor immediately prove as true the stuff it has written inside.)
People hate the books for a lot of reasons. They are not well-written, for one thing. There are numerous grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors, as well as missing words. Tucker is also not a particularly unique narrator or character. People have enjoyed watching obnoxious jerks wreck havoc since the days of Aristophanes on down to the cast of Seinfeld, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or The League. The problem is that the folks in those sitcoms are arguably way funnier than Tucker Max ever is, most likely because they have talented writers working behind them.
And therein lies the rift. The humor. Tucker Max has one joke -- "Look how rude/drunk/sexist I am! CAPITAL LETTERS MEAN I'M YELLING!" -- and the formula does not vary. If you happen to like Tucker's one joke, I can understand you enjoying part of the book, but the joke is told over and over, and without much panache or wit. Some of what he considers funny is actually baffling to me, since it sounds so obviously puerile and childish. Tucker Max still considers people "nerds," makes fun of his buddy for having a black best friend, and attacks fat people who happen to be walking by. "If this were Lord of the Flies, you'd be dead already," he says to a "kinda fat" guy. Ha ha! Because he's fat, you see. At another point, he claims that his favorite kind of woman is a slut because she will have sex with him. That "joke" contains the essence of every other joke Max has to say: obviousness, stupidity, and a lack of originality.
So why have his books sold so well? Tucker Max is not clever or witty. He's obnoxious and mean, and because he gets away with it, he pleases readers a) who wish they could also be obnoxious and mean (and probably also as sexually successful as Max allegedly is), b) who enjoy watching others be obnoxious and mean for no good reason, and c) who are also obnoxious and mean. If you enjoyed Tucker Max's stories or books, it is for one of these three reasons: envy, misanthropy, or douchebaggery. (If you can claim to like these stories on any other level, I'd like to hear your excuse. And I mean "like" the stories, not find them interesting on a sociological, psychological, or other intellectual level.)
If -- and it's a big IF -- If Tucker Max's abuse was even marginally intelligent or unique, there might be something to recommend it. Unfortunately, the majority of his insults are either cribbed from other sources (everything from The Simpsons to Winston Churchill) or just sloppy and lazy (e.g. he says a fat girl is suffering from hoof-and-mouth disease, because she's fat like a cow, you see). The book reads like the soulless struggle of a wanna-be stand-up comedian who has never bothered to write good material because he is surrounded by friends and weaklings who both encourage and endure his watered down "witticisms." At one point in this book, a friend called SippyCup is insulting a fat girl because he doesn't like fat girls. Inexplicably, Tucker Max acts as if this behavior is uncalled for, and even types, "Funny requires intelligence and mental dexterity: it's not about hurting the person..." However, the only "mental dexterity" that Max shows is the cognitive dissonance needed to say things like this without realizing how deeply contradictory he's being.
In a recent interview with Forbes, Max finally admits that "if you read between the lines a little bit, in between all the bravado, you can see a lot of self-loathing." You don't have to read between the lines at all, though. In the same book -- without a trace of irony -- he complains about "tools" and "obnoxious jerks," describing them in the exact same words he uses elsewhere to describe himself. He yells at people for doing the very things he does, and then excuses his behavior by claiming that he's "smarter" or "wittier," when ultimately he's just louder and less caring. One of the fat girls that Tucker encountered actually sent him an email he includes in the book wherein she thanks him for being "a truth teller," further inflating his ego. Max does not tell the truth, though. He tries everything in his power to get under people's skin (in more ways than one), and when he is called on his antisocial behavior or rebuffed, his go-to line is "F*** 'em if they can't take a joke."
The joke, however, is on Tucker Max. And the fact that he is only just now realizing this (as he says in the Forbes interview) shows you even further that these books were not a way to lampoon himself or a world that celebrates narcissistic violence. They are stories that, in their own vicious, repetitive, and mindless way, represent an ignorant co-mingling of self-love and -hate. Even if you like that sort of thing, there are much smarter and better-written books out there that deal with it, ones that are aware of their own irony and that have something better to prove than their own vomit-drenched version of nihilism.
In case you absolutely must know what Tucker Max's stories are like, I have created here a handy Build-A-Story to help you write your own. Have fun.
Roll a Dice: In your story you are (1,2) drunk and rude, (3,4) rude and sexed up, (5,6) drunk and rude and sexed up.
Roll Again: Your story takes place (1,2) in a public place around mostly strangers (e.g. a Muslim wedding is wacky!), (3,4) in a public place around mostly friends (e.g. a Vegas bar), (5,6) in a private place with friends and/or a misguided lover.
Roll Again: (1) You make fun of a fat person. (2) You make fun of a "nerd" (whatever that is). (3) You make fun of a slut. (4) You make fun of a person's culture or implied heritage. (5) You make fun of a weak or frightened person. (6) You speak IN CAPITAL LETTERS. [If you are unaccustomed to making fun of people, do not attempt any baroque comparisons. Stick with the basics, i.e., ask a fat person if they have "freed Willy" yet, or tell a nerd to suck on your "Monty Python."]
Roll Again: (1,2) You puke/pass out. (3,4) You have sex/get into a fight. (5,6) You have sex/get into a fight, and then puke/pass out.
Sample Story: (dice=3) Interested readers, let me tell you this awesome story about how rude I was to this girl that still slept with me. (dice=2) I was hanging out at the Chuck E. Cheese ball pen and had no idea how I got there. "I wish I was drunk," I thought. (dice=5) A scared seven year-old girl asked me to please leave the ball pen, and I told her that there was no god. She cried and ran off, and I suddenly realized there WAS a god: me! (dice=4) That's when I grabbed a waitress with a pizza and said, "Guess what my favorite topping is? PepperBONE-ME!" Ha ha ha! Zing! I don't need to tell you whose ball pen that waitress stayed at that night. My ball pen, that's whose. Because I'm referring to my crotch. The end. Oh, and this story was totally true.
First of all, Tucker Max is a jerk. He drinks to excess, is verbally abusive to nearly everyone, and treats women nearly exclusively as sex objects. Every single story -- literally every single one -- is about one or all of these traits. In this sense, there's nothing new here. I've heard talk that his books have spawned a new genre called "fratire" (fraternity satire), but that's like putting biofocals on a swamp rat and calling it a professor of sludge. These stories are not clever, insightful, or even well-written, and since they claim to be about real events (there's apparently a lot of dispute about this), you can't also claim that they are a satire, unless you want to use that term to apply to Max's entire life. Even Tucker himself himself disputes this. Quoting the author from the HuffPost blog, Tucker says that "fratire" is not about alcoholism, unabashed rudeness or cavalier sex, but is instead "nothing more than men writing about being men in an honest and authentic way."
Of course, men are different everywhere. Tucker's insistence that he is tapping into a ubiquitous and truthful vein of what makes dudes dudes is wishful thinking. These books are about what makes Tucker Max Tucker Max and nothing more. (You can argue against this by pointing at the book's sales numbers, but that's a common logical error. People buy books for any number of reasons, and not just because they speak to or touch an essential part of themselves or humanity. After all, the Bible is the greatest-selling book in the world, but that doesn't make all of its purchasers Christians nor immediately prove as true the stuff it has written inside.)
People hate the books for a lot of reasons. They are not well-written, for one thing. There are numerous grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors, as well as missing words. Tucker is also not a particularly unique narrator or character. People have enjoyed watching obnoxious jerks wreck havoc since the days of Aristophanes on down to the cast of Seinfeld, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or The League. The problem is that the folks in those sitcoms are arguably way funnier than Tucker Max ever is, most likely because they have talented writers working behind them.
And therein lies the rift. The humor. Tucker Max has one joke -- "Look how rude/drunk/sexist I am! CAPITAL LETTERS MEAN I'M YELLING!" -- and the formula does not vary. If you happen to like Tucker's one joke, I can understand you enjoying part of the book, but the joke is told over and over, and without much panache or wit. Some of what he considers funny is actually baffling to me, since it sounds so obviously puerile and childish. Tucker Max still considers people "nerds," makes fun of his buddy for having a black best friend, and attacks fat people who happen to be walking by. "If this were Lord of the Flies, you'd be dead already," he says to a "kinda fat" guy. Ha ha! Because he's fat, you see. At another point, he claims that his favorite kind of woman is a slut because she will have sex with him. That "joke" contains the essence of every other joke Max has to say: obviousness, stupidity, and a lack of originality.
So why have his books sold so well? Tucker Max is not clever or witty. He's obnoxious and mean, and because he gets away with it, he pleases readers a) who wish they could also be obnoxious and mean (and probably also as sexually successful as Max allegedly is), b) who enjoy watching others be obnoxious and mean for no good reason, and c) who are also obnoxious and mean. If you enjoyed Tucker Max's stories or books, it is for one of these three reasons: envy, misanthropy, or douchebaggery. (If you can claim to like these stories on any other level, I'd like to hear your excuse. And I mean "like" the stories, not find them interesting on a sociological, psychological, or other intellectual level.)
If -- and it's a big IF -- If Tucker Max's abuse was even marginally intelligent or unique, there might be something to recommend it. Unfortunately, the majority of his insults are either cribbed from other sources (everything from The Simpsons to Winston Churchill) or just sloppy and lazy (e.g. he says a fat girl is suffering from hoof-and-mouth disease, because she's fat like a cow, you see). The book reads like the soulless struggle of a wanna-be stand-up comedian who has never bothered to write good material because he is surrounded by friends and weaklings who both encourage and endure his watered down "witticisms." At one point in this book, a friend called SippyCup is insulting a fat girl because he doesn't like fat girls. Inexplicably, Tucker Max acts as if this behavior is uncalled for, and even types, "Funny requires intelligence and mental dexterity: it's not about hurting the person..." However, the only "mental dexterity" that Max shows is the cognitive dissonance needed to say things like this without realizing how deeply contradictory he's being.
In a recent interview with Forbes, Max finally admits that "if you read between the lines a little bit, in between all the bravado, you can see a lot of self-loathing." You don't have to read between the lines at all, though. In the same book -- without a trace of irony -- he complains about "tools" and "obnoxious jerks," describing them in the exact same words he uses elsewhere to describe himself. He yells at people for doing the very things he does, and then excuses his behavior by claiming that he's "smarter" or "wittier," when ultimately he's just louder and less caring. One of the fat girls that Tucker encountered actually sent him an email he includes in the book wherein she thanks him for being "a truth teller," further inflating his ego. Max does not tell the truth, though. He tries everything in his power to get under people's skin (in more ways than one), and when he is called on his antisocial behavior or rebuffed, his go-to line is "F*** 'em if they can't take a joke."
The joke, however, is on Tucker Max. And the fact that he is only just now realizing this (as he says in the Forbes interview) shows you even further that these books were not a way to lampoon himself or a world that celebrates narcissistic violence. They are stories that, in their own vicious, repetitive, and mindless way, represent an ignorant co-mingling of self-love and -hate. Even if you like that sort of thing, there are much smarter and better-written books out there that deal with it, ones that are aware of their own irony and that have something better to prove than their own vomit-drenched version of nihilism.
In case you absolutely must know what Tucker Max's stories are like, I have created here a handy Build-A-Story to help you write your own. Have fun.
Roll a Dice: In your story you are (1,2) drunk and rude, (3,4) rude and sexed up, (5,6) drunk and rude and sexed up.
Roll Again: Your story takes place (1,2) in a public place around mostly strangers (e.g. a Muslim wedding is wacky!), (3,4) in a public place around mostly friends (e.g. a Vegas bar), (5,6) in a private place with friends and/or a misguided lover.
Roll Again: (1) You make fun of a fat person. (2) You make fun of a "nerd" (whatever that is). (3) You make fun of a slut. (4) You make fun of a person's culture or implied heritage. (5) You make fun of a weak or frightened person. (6) You speak IN CAPITAL LETTERS. [If you are unaccustomed to making fun of people, do not attempt any baroque comparisons. Stick with the basics, i.e., ask a fat person if they have "freed Willy" yet, or tell a nerd to suck on your "Monty Python."]
Roll Again: (1,2) You puke/pass out. (3,4) You have sex/get into a fight. (5,6) You have sex/get into a fight, and then puke/pass out.
Sample Story: (dice=3) Interested readers, let me tell you this awesome story about how rude I was to this girl that still slept with me. (dice=2) I was hanging out at the Chuck E. Cheese ball pen and had no idea how I got there. "I wish I was drunk," I thought. (dice=5) A scared seven year-old girl asked me to please leave the ball pen, and I told her that there was no god. She cried and ran off, and I suddenly realized there WAS a god: me! (dice=4) That's when I grabbed a waitress with a pizza and said, "Guess what my favorite topping is? PepperBONE-ME!" Ha ha ha! Zing! I don't need to tell you whose ball pen that waitress stayed at that night. My ball pen, that's whose. Because I'm referring to my crotch. The end. Oh, and this story was totally true.
October 11, 2012
I needed a book that I could keep me entertained through my flight from Toronto to Chicago. The very night before I left, I happened to be browsing the Tucker Max website looking for an old favourite anecdote (“Tucker tries buttsex, hilarity ensues”) and I realized his book Sloppy Seconds was available for FREE! Well, I’m not one that downloads a lot of free books onto her Kindle (my collection is very well-organized and carefully picked) but this one was a no-brainer.
I suppose I need to stop you right here if you’re one of those people who cannot take sexist, racist, asshole-type jokes. Because that’s kind of what Tucker Max is–an asshole. Fear not though, he’s proud of it. I guess if I entertained millions of people and turned my life into three bestselling books just by being an asshole, I wouldn’t mind it so much myself.
I’ve had a few people ask me “How can you read that garbage, as a woman”. My response is that his books aren’t insulting to women at all! If you’re a woman with a modicum of intelligence, self-respect, and restraint then Tucker Max manages to have an interesting, albeit somewhat pompous, conversation with you. From what I gather. He’s got too many idiotic bimbos or ‘fame-whores’ lined up waiting to be featured in his books to bother messing with the others. So my response to the haters is, “If those girls are stupid enough to poke a sleeping dragon in the eye, then let them deal with the consequences while I laugh on the sidelines”.
Sloppy Seconds didn’t have me roaring in my seat like his previous books, but I definitely laughed at every single chapter. It was pretty embarrassing because there was some highly inappropriate vocabulary that happened to be highlighted, bolded, and enlarged for effect. I had to keep my kindle at an angle at all times so the gentleman next to me, who was already giving me dirty looks for chuckling on a 6am flight, wouldn’t complain.
Don’t expect a masterpiece with Sloppy Seconds. Some of it is excerpts from Tucker’s previous books, while other parts are just bits and bobs that Tucker threw in from his cutting room floor. Hence the title…
For no money, the book gave a really great time. For those who have never read his work before, this might not be the best starter book (his first one, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, was the best) but it gives you a good glimpse into Tucker’s writing style and hilarious flair.
One thing I can promise you for sure: you’ll either like it or you won’t.
I suppose I need to stop you right here if you’re one of those people who cannot take sexist, racist, asshole-type jokes. Because that’s kind of what Tucker Max is–an asshole. Fear not though, he’s proud of it. I guess if I entertained millions of people and turned my life into three bestselling books just by being an asshole, I wouldn’t mind it so much myself.
I’ve had a few people ask me “How can you read that garbage, as a woman”. My response is that his books aren’t insulting to women at all! If you’re a woman with a modicum of intelligence, self-respect, and restraint then Tucker Max manages to have an interesting, albeit somewhat pompous, conversation with you. From what I gather. He’s got too many idiotic bimbos or ‘fame-whores’ lined up waiting to be featured in his books to bother messing with the others. So my response to the haters is, “If those girls are stupid enough to poke a sleeping dragon in the eye, then let them deal with the consequences while I laugh on the sidelines”.
Sloppy Seconds didn’t have me roaring in my seat like his previous books, but I definitely laughed at every single chapter. It was pretty embarrassing because there was some highly inappropriate vocabulary that happened to be highlighted, bolded, and enlarged for effect. I had to keep my kindle at an angle at all times so the gentleman next to me, who was already giving me dirty looks for chuckling on a 6am flight, wouldn’t complain.
Don’t expect a masterpiece with Sloppy Seconds. Some of it is excerpts from Tucker’s previous books, while other parts are just bits and bobs that Tucker threw in from his cutting room floor. Hence the title…
For no money, the book gave a really great time. For those who have never read his work before, this might not be the best starter book (his first one, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, was the best) but it gives you a good glimpse into Tucker’s writing style and hilarious flair.
One thing I can promise you for sure: you’ll either like it or you won’t.
June 18, 2012
So I downloaded iBooks (after iTunes and all that has been pestering me to for months), and decided to download as many free ebooks as I could, and this happened to be one of them. This is the first book by Tucker Max that I've read, so I wasn't sure how much I would enjoy it, especially since at first I was not sure at all what the cover was (it was much smaller on my iPod, and I thought it was like a butterfly or something?). But afterwards, once I finished the book, I was like, "So THAT'S what the picture is!"
Let me just say, the humour is pretty dirty and crude, Tucker is a giant ass, and as a female I have no idea why girls find Tucker so damn attractive since his personality is just terrible. Sure he's funny and pretty 'legendary', but wow, what a dick.
Really though, it's his personality that makes this book so enjoyable. In reality, if I ever knew someone like Tucker Max I would never talk to him, ever. But reading about his endeavors without ever having to meet him or talk to him or just in general associate with him is fun and definitely hilarious.
I guess this is also why people might watch shows like Jersey Shore, for cheap entertainment and to feel good about themselves. Like, "Man, Tucker gets drunk so often and makes a fool of himself, I'm so much better than that." You know, like how adults feel when they watch Jersey Shore.
He writes pretty well; you can honestly feel his ego seeping through the pages. It's wonderful in a way that's not really wonderful at all. I mean, it made the book more realistic and I was definitely in his head, but when have I ever really wanted to be in an egotistical jerk's head? Not going to lie, I laughed at many parts and this book did cheer me up, and I really shouldn't be so rude about Tucker Max's personality, but after how rude this guy was to like 309489 people, I think I can be.
Basically it'll be for you if you like books about sex, drinking, and guys who do stupid things. Now, I don't really enjoy reading about those things (okay, well to a degree) but it's Tucker's personality that makes this book so horrible/amazing. I can't explain.
Anyways, there are some things that I didn't agree with, but hey, what can I say, this guy's a dick and I can't change the past. Apart from those things, it was a pretty fast read (I couldn't put it down), funny (especially those sexting conversations), and rude (which was funny sometimes, and just plain mean other times).
I'm definitely glad that Max has grown up and stopped acting like his younger self, but I kind of wish he hadn't, just so I could read more of his adventures. Not sure that I will though, because checking his books out at the library might be a bit embarrassing, and I don't even know if I even want to think about putting one of his books in my bookshelf.
However, if another occasion comes up for me to give a book to a guy friend, I'll probably buy one of Max's for them. I'm sure they'll enjoy it.
So yep, a surprisingly good read. But I guess it really depends on your kind of humour.
Let me just say, the humour is pretty dirty and crude, Tucker is a giant ass, and as a female I have no idea why girls find Tucker so damn attractive since his personality is just terrible. Sure he's funny and pretty 'legendary', but wow, what a dick.
Really though, it's his personality that makes this book so enjoyable. In reality, if I ever knew someone like Tucker Max I would never talk to him, ever. But reading about his endeavors without ever having to meet him or talk to him or just in general associate with him is fun and definitely hilarious.
I guess this is also why people might watch shows like Jersey Shore, for cheap entertainment and to feel good about themselves. Like, "Man, Tucker gets drunk so often and makes a fool of himself, I'm so much better than that." You know, like how adults feel when they watch Jersey Shore.
He writes pretty well; you can honestly feel his ego seeping through the pages. It's wonderful in a way that's not really wonderful at all. I mean, it made the book more realistic and I was definitely in his head, but when have I ever really wanted to be in an egotistical jerk's head? Not going to lie, I laughed at many parts and this book did cheer me up, and I really shouldn't be so rude about Tucker Max's personality, but after how rude this guy was to like 309489 people, I think I can be.
Basically it'll be for you if you like books about sex, drinking, and guys who do stupid things. Now, I don't really enjoy reading about those things (okay, well to a degree) but it's Tucker's personality that makes this book so horrible/amazing. I can't explain.
Anyways, there are some things that I didn't agree with, but hey, what can I say, this guy's a dick and I can't change the past. Apart from those things, it was a pretty fast read (I couldn't put it down), funny (especially those sexting conversations), and rude (which was funny sometimes, and just plain mean other times).
I'm definitely glad that Max has grown up and stopped acting like his younger self, but I kind of wish he hadn't, just so I could read more of his adventures. Not sure that I will though, because checking his books out at the library might be a bit embarrassing, and I don't even know if I even want to think about putting one of his books in my bookshelf.
However, if another occasion comes up for me to give a book to a guy friend, I'll probably buy one of Max's for them. I'm sure they'll enjoy it.
So yep, a surprisingly good read. But I guess it really depends on your kind of humour.
October 3, 2014
Pretty typical Tucker Max writing, however it's called "Sloppy Seconds" for a reason. This is a collection of stories that have been left out of his previous three books, and you can often tell why. If you enjoyed I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First or Hilarity Ensues, I'm sure you'll find some laughs in this one. The book is fairly short (the first third consists of three stories, one from each of his previous books, to introduce any new readers to Tucker Max), so it doesn't take very long to read. But, the biggest problem I had is it's crappy conversion to ebook.
This ebook was (and still is) free. Perhaps I had an issue when downloading it, but I tried to reload it several times on both my Kindle and iPhone Kindle app to no avail. There were at least ten locations where there was a sentence (or possibly more) missing. Most of the time, this wasn't that big of a deal; I could figure out where in the story I was and piece things together. However, several times, it seemed the missing chunk of text was a punchline of the story or the key twist in the night out. I can't even tell how many errors there were, because some of the stories didn't seem to have ANY ending and I couldn't tell if that's why these stories were just "leftovers" given away for free or if there was a missing paragraph that had a great end to the story.
I tried tweeting to Tucker Max to make him aware. No clue if he'll ever see the tweets in between all the girls trying to have sex with him, but I guess I can't be too upset since the book was a free download.
This ebook was (and still is) free. Perhaps I had an issue when downloading it, but I tried to reload it several times on both my Kindle and iPhone Kindle app to no avail. There were at least ten locations where there was a sentence (or possibly more) missing. Most of the time, this wasn't that big of a deal; I could figure out where in the story I was and piece things together. However, several times, it seemed the missing chunk of text was a punchline of the story or the key twist in the night out. I can't even tell how many errors there were, because some of the stories didn't seem to have ANY ending and I couldn't tell if that's why these stories were just "leftovers" given away for free or if there was a missing paragraph that had a great end to the story.
I tried tweeting to Tucker Max to make him aware. No clue if he'll ever see the tweets in between all the girls trying to have sex with him, but I guess I can't be too upset since the book was a free download.
April 3, 2012
Free e-book with stories that weren't good enough to be in the last couple of official Tucker Max books. Which sounds like it would be the worst thing ever, but it's so not. I liked it almost as much as I liked the first one, the mega best selling I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. And I liked that one quite a bit. I feel about it the way religious people feel about the Bible. I didn't read the other two - Assholes Finish First, from a few years back, which relatively few people read and even less people seemed to like; and the one that came out a few weeks ago, which also seems to be flying under the radar. The movie based on the first book, an absolute debacle, couldn't have helped matters. But yeah, I didn't like the stories from the last two books that are excerpted here, the Duke b-ball tickets thing and the sexting thing. The so-called leftovers are way more funny. I guess some of them are kinda half-finished or not long enough to be a legit Tucker Max story (as if), but the stuff that's there is hilarious. You get the idea that either Max or his editors can't always tell what should make the book and what shouldn't. Maybe they should just publish everything via ebook and let the Internets sort it out? I wouldn't know where to cop the dead tree version if I wanted to.
July 23, 2016
It's pretty awesome that this book is free, especially since books I actually want to read are never free. Now, it's not so well put together as Tucker Max books usually are, but again, free. There were several interesting bits that I'm glad I got to read, the Morimoto thing...I honestly didn't believe it until I saw the picture. I never would have guessed that Tucker Max and one of the best Iron Chefs would pal around. Crazy. What was really just too much was the text message part. I read that whole section on the bus, and I was giggling out loud, looking like an idiot because it was just too funny.
Besides a bit of an all-over-the-place narrative at times, the mention of people that go to state schools as idiots kind of irked, being that I go to one, and couldn't afford a school for "smart" people, knocks a star off of this for me.
Besides a bit of an all-over-the-place narrative at times, the mention of people that go to state schools as idiots kind of irked, being that I go to one, and couldn't afford a school for "smart" people, knocks a star off of this for me.
August 5, 2015
Tucker Max does it again in his 4th book. I managed to skip books 2 and 3, as I found this one for free on his website. Free always wins. Many of the other reviewers have been quick to say that this book is just like the others, and give poor ratings as a result. But, what did they expect from a raving narcissist like Max, who has built his entire empire on his unruly, egotistical, and condescending behavior, a classic Victorian novel? If you can take Max for what he is, and if you find his stories amusing, you'll enjoy this one too. The highlight for me was reading the text message threads between him and girls who contacted him solely for the purpose of sex after his phone number was publicly released. Max rightfully took it upon himself to be as vulgar and rude as possible, and the girls couldn't figure it out. Genius.
February 24, 2012
I read Tucker Max's first two books. They were funny. So so wrong, but funny. This one was free. Not so funny. Yes, he admits that these are stories that were not good enough for his first three paid books. He's right. Max is intelligent, hilarious, and a good storyteller. But, I fear that this one trick pony has finally run out of good stories from "the glory days".
I hope he finds something else to write about because he does have talent. If you like Tucker Max's work, go ahead and read this if it's still free. Don't pay for it.
I hope he finds something else to write about because he does have talent. If you like Tucker Max's work, go ahead and read this if it's still free. Don't pay for it.
January 1, 2018
I only started reading this book because it was free on Kindle. I overpaid. I only finished reading this because it was December 30th and I was one book away from my goal.
I imagine that if I were still 12-13 years old I might be impressed or entertained. What the author lacks in creativity and maturity in his writing he also lacks in reality. Each page was a painful extension of the last and the end of the book couldn't have come soon enough.
DO NOT READ!!
I imagine that if I were still 12-13 years old I might be impressed or entertained. What the author lacks in creativity and maturity in his writing he also lacks in reality. Each page was a painful extension of the last and the end of the book couldn't have come soon enough.
DO NOT READ!!
September 11, 2012
Tucker Max has a little bit different approach on this book, kind of. He talks about his childhood for a bit, and his mother. He also talks about food, expecially Guacamole, and X-ray machines. I'd recommend this book to anyone who enjoys adult humor. I enjoy every single one of his stories! I'd recommend this book because it is such an awesome laugh!
April 11, 2016
I know this was his stuff that didn't make it to his books. So It really wasn't as funny. But it was still enjoyable. Still had my laugh and giggles at his stories. I wish he would come out with more :(.
January 6, 2013
Tucker Max is funny. If you don't think Tucker Max is funny you are either a woman who is resisting her role in society or a man who thinks he can get more women by being sensitive. Or you're lying.
April 24, 2015
As hilarious, egotistical, and inappropriate as his other shit! LOL Loved it.
August 24, 2019
The memory of the two-second span where all three of us were vomiting at once is permanently seared into my brain. I have never heard anything like that symphony of sickness.
Tucker Max never fails to satisfy any need you have for immature locker room humor. Knowing that, and seeing that this book was free on Kindle was all I really needed. The last time I laughed this hard while reading a book was probably the last time I read one of Tucker Max's books.
"Well, Morimoto went straight-up Billy Martin on the bartender, and chest-bumped him back so hard the bartender fell back against the back of the bar. Three of the other bartenders tried to grab Morimoto, but he pushed them off of him, and then grabbed three pint glasses and threw them down on the ground so hard they shattered on the floor. The four bartenders then converged on Morimoto, like in a cartoon. At that point, Junior saw what was going on and did a full-on leap OVER the bar like he was Mitch Fucking Gaylord or something, took out two of the bartenders, and got up swinging. He went fucking nuts; I think he may have knocked one bartender out cold. It was like Tango & Cash meets Cocktail. My buddy and I ran to help. We pulled one bartender out, but by that point the bouncers had come over, and the Action Jackson bar fight had dissolved into a scrum of limbs and pushing. The next thing I know, me, Junior, and Morimoto are out on the street. It took a second to process…but then it dawned on me: I just got thrown out of a charity event. No—I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF MY OWN CHARITY EVENT!!!! How does this happen? I didn’t even know that was possible. Who has ever done that? Who has ever been kicked out of their own charity event? Tucker Max, that’s who."
If you aren't at least mildly childish in your sense of humor then you won't appreciate this book or any of his others. Really, don't bother.
Tucker Max never fails to satisfy any need you have for immature locker room humor. Knowing that, and seeing that this book was free on Kindle was all I really needed. The last time I laughed this hard while reading a book was probably the last time I read one of Tucker Max's books.
"Well, Morimoto went straight-up Billy Martin on the bartender, and chest-bumped him back so hard the bartender fell back against the back of the bar. Three of the other bartenders tried to grab Morimoto, but he pushed them off of him, and then grabbed three pint glasses and threw them down on the ground so hard they shattered on the floor. The four bartenders then converged on Morimoto, like in a cartoon. At that point, Junior saw what was going on and did a full-on leap OVER the bar like he was Mitch Fucking Gaylord or something, took out two of the bartenders, and got up swinging. He went fucking nuts; I think he may have knocked one bartender out cold. It was like Tango & Cash meets Cocktail. My buddy and I ran to help. We pulled one bartender out, but by that point the bouncers had come over, and the Action Jackson bar fight had dissolved into a scrum of limbs and pushing. The next thing I know, me, Junior, and Morimoto are out on the street. It took a second to process…but then it dawned on me: I just got thrown out of a charity event. No—I JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF MY OWN CHARITY EVENT!!!! How does this happen? I didn’t even know that was possible. Who has ever done that? Who has ever been kicked out of their own charity event? Tucker Max, that’s who."
If you aren't at least mildly childish in your sense of humor then you won't appreciate this book or any of his others. Really, don't bother.
September 7, 2017
I wasn't going to write a review or even publicly admit that I read this book until I searched for comments on it here and found multiple books by the same name. My conclusion is that this title is far more provocative and moderately acceptable than I would have believed. It's true that I think the title is gross... and hence it made me want to know more about the author and the writing.
Some authors apparently don't quite get the gist of the title however, but perhaps the main point of it seems to be overtly and disturbingly repugnant in the face of an overwhelming normalcy. Tucker Max does emphatically understand his title, even if he employs it as shock value. In fairness, the entire book isn't about sex, but most of it is about his rude and condescending behavior, whether real or imagined. Moreover, I giggled and laughed at various points. I was glad that I didn't have to explain what I was reading. I probably would have lied.
There is a slight difference, of course, between the way women and men celebrate distasteful behavior, typically. Any woman who has been involved in mixed dinner conversation only to have a man lift his leg and fart understands the issue. There's no point in reprimanding because it just collectively eggs them on. Tucker Max is one of these people who enjoys farting in quiet situations and then waiting for others to applaud. From his following, he is surprisingly effective at receiving adulation. I find this more puzzling than disturbing.
To be fair, this book spends enough time on disturbed female behavior also. In many ways I consider this somewhat worse, not only because the author is embarrassingly good at detailing it, but because the book is replete with examples. Women are consummate experts at self-delusion. Sadly I think that many practice this because they believe it is their only viable means of existence.
That last comment, although I believe it is sadly true, should bring down a rain of derision greater than what even Max deserves. Still how can one argue with a Muslim woman inviting him to her wedding? How can a woman desire intimacy with him without knowing that she will probably be the object of his derision? How can a woman get mad at him simply because he acts exactly like she knows he will always act? Yes, I know about the "bad boy" theory, to which I suggest a reality break instead of heartache.
To quote the author, There is nothing funnier than a disproportionate display of inappropriate and overwrought anger." It's kind of like reading Jean Genet's celebrations of immorality as a means to acknowledging the foundation of his existential responsibility. The difference is mainly that Tucker Max, alas, does not write (or edit) very well, nor, despite more than sufficient intelligence, does he seem to much care what others think as long as he is adored. With those credentials, he could become president.
An example which I think sums up both his appeal and his effort at embracing immorality is summed up in the following exchange with an 8 year old girl while waiting for a Harry Potter book.
In this regard, the book is a one trick pony. The author's argument is, "I only told her the truth." Unfortunately his idea of the truth goes far beyond what he might reason as being appropriate and considerate to the point of arguing, "I really felt like this at the time....and I think a lot of other people would appreciate being told that this is OK to do." Perhaps he is right in that feelings seem to have become dominant in the modern world to such an extent that any thought is merely, to use an old phrase, philosophy after dinner. Why should one really act in a fashion which opposes fulfilling one's immediate desires? Certainly not Tucker Max!
On a more cerebral note, this book emphasizes the fact that I sometimes offer, tongue in cheek, that the best argument for the existence of God is the fact that he created two genders, each of which spends its life implicitly avoiding understanding how the other thinks beyond the toleration required for immediacy. It must be no end of amusement for Him.
While I laughed at portions of this book, I will not be reading anything further from Tucker Max. In many senses it was an eye opener. Have we really become this crass? It's like someone discovering that he cannot make any sense out of both an omnipotent God and evil's existence in this world. Max clearly wishes to bring that latter's evidence home. Most of us understood the conundrum a long time ago, fortunately without the narcissistic attitude.
Finally, I hesitate between saying that it was all in good fun and making a large donation to treating sociopathic adolescents. The book is not well written and contains numerous grammatical errors, but apparently his following doesn't care. I suppose I believe that there's a point where Tucker Max reaches beyond the limits of entropy. After this, I am back to Balzac.
Some authors apparently don't quite get the gist of the title however, but perhaps the main point of it seems to be overtly and disturbingly repugnant in the face of an overwhelming normalcy. Tucker Max does emphatically understand his title, even if he employs it as shock value. In fairness, the entire book isn't about sex, but most of it is about his rude and condescending behavior, whether real or imagined. Moreover, I giggled and laughed at various points. I was glad that I didn't have to explain what I was reading. I probably would have lied.
There is a slight difference, of course, between the way women and men celebrate distasteful behavior, typically. Any woman who has been involved in mixed dinner conversation only to have a man lift his leg and fart understands the issue. There's no point in reprimanding because it just collectively eggs them on. Tucker Max is one of these people who enjoys farting in quiet situations and then waiting for others to applaud. From his following, he is surprisingly effective at receiving adulation. I find this more puzzling than disturbing.
To be fair, this book spends enough time on disturbed female behavior also. In many ways I consider this somewhat worse, not only because the author is embarrassingly good at detailing it, but because the book is replete with examples. Women are consummate experts at self-delusion. Sadly I think that many practice this because they believe it is their only viable means of existence.
That last comment, although I believe it is sadly true, should bring down a rain of derision greater than what even Max deserves. Still how can one argue with a Muslim woman inviting him to her wedding? How can a woman desire intimacy with him without knowing that she will probably be the object of his derision? How can a woman get mad at him simply because he acts exactly like she knows he will always act? Yes, I know about the "bad boy" theory, to which I suggest a reality break instead of heartache.
To quote the author, There is nothing funnier than a disproportionate display of inappropriate and overwrought anger." It's kind of like reading Jean Genet's celebrations of immorality as a means to acknowledging the foundation of his existential responsibility. The difference is mainly that Tucker Max, alas, does not write (or edit) very well, nor, despite more than sufficient intelligence, does he seem to much care what others think as long as he is adored. With those credentials, he could become president.
An example which I think sums up both his appeal and his effort at embracing immorality is summed up in the following exchange with an 8 year old girl while waiting for a Harry Potter book.
Kid:...Are you excited about the book?
Tucker: "Beyond ecstatic. I can barely contain my emotions."
Kid: "I can't wait to find out what happens! They say someone dies, I wonder who it'll be."
Tucker: "Didn't you hear? It's Ron that dies in this one."
A complete look of horror enveloped her face and her eyes started welling up with tears.
Tucker: "NO NO NO- I'm just kidding. Totally kidding, please don't cry, Ron doesn't die, I'm just kidding."
She stopped her tears and her face went back to normal. I couldn't help myself:
Tucker: "It's actually Hermione that dies."
She turned and ran off in tears. Oh well, she had to learn at some point that guys are assholes and will take advantage of female naïveté whenever possible. Better now, before she reaches puberty and starts dating.
In this regard, the book is a one trick pony. The author's argument is, "I only told her the truth." Unfortunately his idea of the truth goes far beyond what he might reason as being appropriate and considerate to the point of arguing, "I really felt like this at the time....and I think a lot of other people would appreciate being told that this is OK to do." Perhaps he is right in that feelings seem to have become dominant in the modern world to such an extent that any thought is merely, to use an old phrase, philosophy after dinner. Why should one really act in a fashion which opposes fulfilling one's immediate desires? Certainly not Tucker Max!
On a more cerebral note, this book emphasizes the fact that I sometimes offer, tongue in cheek, that the best argument for the existence of God is the fact that he created two genders, each of which spends its life implicitly avoiding understanding how the other thinks beyond the toleration required for immediacy. It must be no end of amusement for Him.
While I laughed at portions of this book, I will not be reading anything further from Tucker Max. In many senses it was an eye opener. Have we really become this crass? It's like someone discovering that he cannot make any sense out of both an omnipotent God and evil's existence in this world. Max clearly wishes to bring that latter's evidence home. Most of us understood the conundrum a long time ago, fortunately without the narcissistic attitude.
Finally, I hesitate between saying that it was all in good fun and making a large donation to treating sociopathic adolescents. The book is not well written and contains numerous grammatical errors, but apparently his following doesn't care. I suppose I believe that there's a point where Tucker Max reaches beyond the limits of entropy. After this, I am back to Balzac.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 1, 2017
I'm not completely sure why I put myself through the pain of reading his books. It starts off funny (haha) then slowly rolls down hill with plain old narcissistic asshole attitude/behavior. Then I remember why I don't really like him. Promises to myself don't buy another. Then let's not forget the parts that don't really mean anything (I call it space fillers) no wonder the pages are so thick. when I first read his book (6 years ago) it truly was entertaining, and I thought that's what this was going to be. Nope. I've grown up. Thank heavens.
May 4, 2017
This guy is a disgusting offensive pig, who surely will rot in hell. If not, I really could start questioning my beliefs. With that said, I do have a pretty weird sense of humor and some of his stories make me laugh. I REALLY want to give this book a 2 star because he's the worst kind of asshole, but if I'm being honest... I did find enough amusement in it, my sick sense of humor beat out my aggravation of his obnoxious behaviors.
January 24, 2020
I swear I am here for all of Tucker’s vulgarity and balls to the wall hilarity. It may not be everyone’s type of literature but it’s definitely there if you need a laugh and second hand embarrassment
September 15, 2021
I read this in 2012 after reading his first book and finding it hilarious. I feel like this one was written in a hurry to get a second book out. It wasn't great and I didn't laugh like the first. I also started to find him quite hateful (which shouldn't have surprised me, considering).
January 3, 2017
Tucker Max wins again
I love all his books. But this one seems to just make me laugh so much more. I would love to see more from TM
I love all his books. But this one seems to just make me laugh so much more. I would love to see more from TM
May 26, 2017
would have better if the first 90 pages weren't stories pulled from his other books...
July 6, 2017
It’s getting old. If you’ve read other Tucker max, this is the same, just less funny. Not strongly recommended.
January 8, 2018
Had some laughs, but found the writing shallow and quite misogynistic.
August 20, 2018
It really is just brotastic.
August 22, 2020
Not worth finishing
February 16, 2021
So funny
March 3, 2021
Not my favorite, but its Tucker Max
Its hilarious but not as hilarious as his other book. Would absolutely be cancelled by gen z which makes it even better.
Its hilarious but not as hilarious as his other book. Would absolutely be cancelled by gen z which makes it even better.
August 25, 2021
I think ive figured it out! Hes a real life Al Bundy except he eats and has $ lol
September 28, 2022
Unlike his other work, this is mostly dull. He's still a terrible person, but without his youthful carelessness, this isn't even very interesting. For really hardcore fans only.
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