Tales from the Teachers' Lounge: What I Learned in School the Second Time Around—One Man's Irreverent Look at Being a Teacher Today

by Robert Wilder

From the critically acclaimed author of Daddy Needs a Drink —hailed by the Los Angeles Times as “consistently hilarious”—comes a series of irreverent, wickedly observant essays about what it really means to be a teacher today. With his trademark wit and wisdom, Robert Wilder dissects the world’s noblest profession—whether he’s taming a classroom full of hormonal teenagers or going one-on-one with the school bully.

Wilder was twenty-six when he found his true calling. Leaving a lucrative advertising career in New York, he got a job as an assistant first-grade teacher at a Santa Fe alternative school—and never looked back. Now he brings his unique perspective—as a teacher, parent, and former student—to a series of laugh-out-loud essays that show teaching at its most absurd…and most rewarding. With brutal candor he chronicles his own lively adventures in modern education, from navigating cutthroat kindergarten sign-ups to subbing for a class experi-ment gone wrong–and dares to tell about it.

He shares the surprising lessons he’s learned in the trenches of his profession, including how to bribe a four-year-old (his own) to stop swearing in a Lutheran preschool and the best way to teach moody teenagers…manage “helicopter” parents…and cope with bullies—whether of the school-yard, Internet, or parental kind. And he offers tough love for cheaters who log on to www.SchoolSucks.com, then puts to rest forever the question of why new teachers gain weight ( the free donuts don’t help).

In Tales from the Teachers’ Lounge , Robert Wilder charts life’s learning curve with a warmth and humor you don’t find in textbooks. By turns heartwarming, eye-opening, and uproariously funny, these pitch-perfect essays offer priceless lessons in life, family, learning, and teaching from a true lover of education.

Genres: Nonfiction, Education, Memoir, Teaching, Humor, Essays, Biography Memoir

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Robert Wilder is the author of two critically acclaimed essay collections, Tales From The Teachers’ Lounge and Daddy Needs A Drink, both published by Delacorte Press. His YA novel, Nickel, will be published September 2016 by Leaf Storm Press.

A teacher for more than twenty-five years, he has earned numerous awards and fellowships, including the inaugural Innovations in Reading Prize by the National Book Foundation. He has published essays in Newsweek, Details, Salon, Parenting, Creative Nonfiction, plus numerous anthologies and has been a commentator for NPR’s Morning Edition. Wilder lives in Santa Fe, NM.

Reviews

[Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don't read this book hoping to find cheery essays about teaching. This book was a misery to read. The essays consist of cruel jabs at the author's fellow teachers, his students, and administrators. Yes, I laughed here and there, but I always looked around to see who was watching me.

I actually put the book down and was going to give up on it, but then I went to see the author at the Texas Book Festival. He seems to be more compassionate in person than he seems in his essays. I decided to give the man another chance and I read through to the end. I can't imagine who I'd recommend this book to; its view of education is bitter and bleak and left me feeling that what I do is pointless in light of the present state of the world.

[Ross Bussell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would normally not use the phrase "hate filled" in a review, especially one about teaching. But gosh, this book had it coming. I struggled through the first few essays, then finally just tore through the rest so I could say I finished it, hoping to find some sort of redemption in the later pages. The author has so much contempt for the teaching profession and for his fellow teachers that it was difficult to read past it. I HATED this book... Why did I finish it?

[Amir · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't normally write bad reviews, but I really disliked the author's style in this book. He used contemporary metaphors in ever single sentence. And on the off chance he didn't use one, he would find another way to inject his smug irreverent (read:asshole) attitude into the sentence. I was intrigued and bought this book on a whim in a store... I will always do research before I buy now.

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Could not finish this travesty. As a retired teacher, I am used to teacher's lounge stories, but in forty plus years I've never had anyone tell stories that almost disgust me. I'm not sure why the author was teaching, and question that he has an education degree. The writing is very sophomoric. I'm so glad that I picked this out of a bargain bin. This book will be destroyed and not passed on to friends.

[Debs · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stories from a high school English teacher. Not terribly well written. Wilder uses the same references over and over again, and occasionally he’ll opt for lowest-common-denominator humor where wit would be more appropriate. He thinks he's funny...but he's wrong.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started so strongly - the beginning chapters seemed relevant, funny, just a little bit snarky, and like it would be a refreshing read for those of us who spend our time in the classroom and need a good laugh. However, it devolves into something bitter and uncomfortable to read. Mr. Wilder is often offensive to both his students and their parents (as well as fellow teachers) and makes jokes that are in extraordinarily poor taste. I'm all for a little ribbing and real humour, but attempted humour at the expense of other people is off limits for me. I'm sorry I purchased this book. It left a bad taste in my mouth and the only question I was left with by the end of it was, "how is this bitter, useless man still teaching?"

[Todd · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was unreadable. From the story about the autistic kid who give the teacher a turd as a present and the teacher not knowing how to deal with it; to covering a class for another teacher -- and not knowing how to deal with it; to his experience as a kid and not knowing how to deal with his friend's mom being a substitute teacher; to ... well, I pretty much dropped out after the first few stories.

The blurb on the back gave praise to a previous book, comparing his work to David Sedaris... and now, I have no desire to read any David Sedaris.

This book should be titled Uninteresting, Poorly Written Tales From the Teachers' Lounge. Avoid.

[Kelley · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book that I picked up from the library thinking that it was going to contain all sorts of story about the funny side of being a teacher. Yes there were several stories regarding that but there was also way too much backstory on the author’s life and many not-so-funny stories regarding bodily functions and other forms of juvenile grossness. I even skipped over quite a bit which meant it was pretty bad.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not exactly a teacher, so some of this stuff I just don't have to deal with on a daily basis like a teacher would, but it hit close enough to home to be hilarious

[Kristi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very authentic ... sadly.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had some very funny sections. Loved the crude honesty, but some parts got a bit too drawn out.

[Whitney · Rating 1 out of 5]

First few essays were pretty funny and made me laugh. All downhill from there-it got drawn out, unfunny, and unfocused. Went from 5 stars to very bad very quickly.

[Graham Charles · Rating 1 out of 5]

Utter crap. Don't bother.

[Night Knowledge · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have yet to round down on a review before, and though I would say this book is a solid 2.5 out of 5, I would also call it appropriate to relegate this collection at a 2, which is an honest shame. I do find value from this book, such as the long list of words I didn't know (I wrote down almost 80 words), so one cannot say that this book doesn't offer an enriching vocabulary. I would say out of the whole 300 or so pages, I only chuckled maybe 2 or 3 times, and those few times were really only in the first half, which for a book that is so clearly intent on delivering humor, is pretty disappointing. While I found a good deal of descriptions to be fun, they hardly struck me as funny. I appreciate this direct window into the author's mind and based off his accounts, no one could ever call his career dull by a long shot. But when I checked this book from the library, I suppose I was hoping for something a little bit more, as someone who is potentially looking at a career in education. If you're looking for a memoir that offers nuggets of wisdom cleverly woven into a fabric of funnies, this collection is not for you. However, if you'd be satisfied with a vaguely entertaining story or two on the misadventures of an english teacher, I can't see why you couldn't give this a flip through. I will say, I am curious to see if the prior collection, "Daddy Needs a Drink," is any better, as the entire back cover was entrenched in raving reviews for the author's debut.

[Valerie Staggs · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Robert Wilder at a writers conference. He struck me as a quiet, somewhat introverted guy so I had a hard time imagining this unassuming man could possibly have too many misadventures in the classroom. I was mistaken. From the devoted child who shows her affection by bestowing a truly repulsive gift on the author to the equally repulsive eating habits of faculty members, this book is laugh out loud funny beginning to end. Wilder has a flair for detailing his experiences with uniquely descriptive language that is refreshingly unique. You'll enjoy a colorful view of teaching and be glad you're seeing it from outside the classroom.

[Melissa Hood · Rating 1 out of 5]

Is this funny?

The tone of the writing is pretty... vile. I mean, there is a way of telling a story about a student handing through poop to you in a funny way. And then there was this... the author doesn't exactly make fun of the student's disabilities, but I get a gross feeling from the story. Perhaps the relationship between untrained young adult and child has not been established??

Casual comparison of a middle school classroom to a Nazi death camp...

Also comparing it to a beaver den due to smell (I thought that was funny).

[Robert Natale · Rating 1 out of 5]

Another case where NO stars would be a better choice. I'm a retired teacher of 35 years. Take it from me-----this book has NOTHING to do with teaching. This is merely a very forced attempt at humor by the author----which fails miserably. Did I mention forced attempts at humor? The wisecracks at the end of EVERY single passage are ones that his own students would reject out of hand.

The subtitle of the book says in part---"One man's irreverent look at being a teacher today"

Whoever wrote that misspelled the word "irrelevant".

Please-----I'm begging you----don't waste your time.

[Jana · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I wasn’t getting into this book and the silly antedates from the classroom, but I kept at it and laughed out loud during quite a few stories in the book. It’s full of funny stories from the classroom as a teacher and years ago as a student. He finds humor in many situations. I can see many educators taking offense at what’s in the book, but overall it’s funny and entertaining, particularly for someone not prone to taking life too seriously. I also enjoyed reading about the nuances of Sante Fe and NM in general.

[Ash Romig · Rating 1 out of 5]

Funny in small parts, but the elitist and ableist attitudes peppered throughout took away from any laughs it might have garnered. The jokes at the expense of disabled and special needs individuals left me sick to my stomach. I forced myself to finish. He really seems to hate any student who wasn't his perfect academic protege. Not to mention all the coworkers you can tell he thinks are below him. Not worth your time.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a good representation of teaching. He does use metaphors way too much. My favorite quote was when he was teaching at a radical college before teaching high school and there was an issue about coming to class on time, and one of the students said, I think time is such an inconvenient concept."

[Keri (TheAudioAuditor)]

Paper book review.
DNF

Made it only a few pages into part 2. The analogies and anecdotes finally got to me. Instead of humorous, they come across as bitter and mean. My mental health will suffer if I keep reading.

[Varvara Bondarenko · Rating 1 out of 5]

I clicked "I'm finished" because I'm simply done with this book.
The author tries so hard to be funny but to be honest with you it feels like he fails quite often.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny at first but I wish he just wrote about school topics.

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF
Was it boring?
Terribly written, for a teacher?
Or just not what I was expecting?
In fact, i don't know what i was expecting - but this wasn't it.

[Angel · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was pretty much a waste of time. Some guy who changed careers and decided he wanted to become a teacher. Since he could not get his credential, he figured teaching in a private school would do fine. He starts out in some alternative hippie school in New Mexico where they are more worried about new age and feeling good than actually teaching and instilling some discipline. While there is some humor and some funny moments, for the most part, the book is convoluted, and often he just has no clue. Then again, considering the types he deals with, it's a miracle he is in a classroom. Guy lacks total common sense. Only sensible character is the teacher that went with him to that writing workshop, then walked out of a workshop meeting when she could not stand the bullshit they were passing for writing lessons. Sorry, but I have been to actual writing workshops, and we never had some little index of terms with no meaning. In the end, she was the smart one since she spent the rest of the time hiking and enjoying the town. She likely managed to renew her energy as well.

This author is certainly not what a young teacher would want to emulate. I suppose for new agers and aging flower children, he may be the guy. Otherwise, skip this. There are a lot other teacher memoirs and accounts that are much better. Good thing I borrowed this at the public library. Otherwise, I'd have a hard time getting rid of it since I could not bring myself to recommend it to anyone.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book... and normally, I don't enjoy books about teaching. Being a teacher myself I always think that there are probably better reading pursuits than reading about the job I do everyday, especially since I don't think I've ever read one teacher memoir that didn't dip into "We're underpaid" or "You have to be creative in the classroom!" Uh duh.

So I liked Tales from the Teacher's Lounge. It's funny and I could really relate to many of the stories... and I like that Wilder doesn't position himself as some kind of saint. He's just as bewildered as I know most teachers to be.

That being said, I did have some problems with the book. I don't know if the essays in this collection were first printed somewhere, but if I had to guess, I'd say that they were. I say this because Wilder continually comes back to the same writing tricks again and again and again and while reading them once is funny, by the time you get to his third "bean burrito" reference, you're a little bored. The author also seems to bend over backwards for the chuckle-worthy pop culture references and analogies and while nobody appreciates a good James at 15 aside like I do... when you're hit with that stuff over and over and over again, it just dulls your interest.

That being said, even though I don't totally appreciate Wilder's bad of writer's tricks, I'd probably read another collection by him.

[S G-W · Rating 1 out of 5]

Avoid this book.

There is nothing so unpleasant as to feel you are being lied to by a writer, and this book oozes with self-satisfied deception. It's one thing to take advantage of literary license, it's quite another to make up stories whole cloth in what is ostensibly non-fiction, especially when there seems to be no purpose to the stories.

What are we to learn here? That teaching is difficult? No, perhaps, teaching is crazy? That Robert Wilder has some insight into teaching our children? No, more that he is clever enough to pull at random from his grab bag of often misleading pop culture references, many of which he assumes his readers are too stupid (or out of touch) to understand without explanation. Mr. Wilder, a simile is not clever or useful if you also describe both objects you are comparing.

Overall, like being at a bar with a waste of time, half-involved teacher trying to string together a series of lies without any structure or through-line, interrupted on occasion by diversions into 'look how stupid my students are, they hate Shakespeare and recognize actors from Harry Potter movies' but overall having the almost express goal of impressing the reader with his own cleverness, accented by half-assed self-depreciation. The only moments of warmth are towards his daughter and son.

And, Mr. Wilder, while Augustus Gloop was fat, Veruca Salt was just a spoiled little brat, a state you have something in common with. Where are editors when you need them?

[Kristin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was hoping this would be a book full of humorous anecdotes about being a teacher these days, but it was more an autobiography of how Wilder got to be a teacher at a Prep school and was as much about parenting his two kids as it was teaching. Currently, one of my high school teachers is doing a countdown of the 10 last days of summer vacation with his favorite memories thus far and the students who made them special, and that was what I was hoping this book would be like, specific incidents that stick out in Wilder's mind. Instead he talks about things like a workshop he took with an eclectic group of fellow educators and how to get equally eclectic students to respect the literary works he assigns in class. Just didn't grab my attention like I'd hoped.
This wasn't a horrible book, just not one that stood out for me nor do I think my peers who are educators (I am not) would find it particularly enlightening either.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are quite a few entertaining, snarky turns of phrase throughout Wilder's book, and as a new teacher and semi-career changer, I enjoyed much of his humor - and definitely some of the snark.

However, there wasn't much holding the book together, no linear progression, which in and of itself is not always an issue, but I felt he bounced from one topic to another with no real clear-cut path; there was no relationship between musings. I wouldn't even say that he wrote vignettes, more like random thoughts based on what he felt like writing on any given day. The book would have been held together more smoothly had he, for example, progressed through the book in such a way that paralled the academic year, or his development as a teacher.

[Michele Bettinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second of Robert's books that I've read. He's the older brother of my pal, Eddie, which is where I heard about Robert. This book made me laugh out loud. It is not only a bird's eye view from a teacher's perspective but some essay's on Robert's recollections of his own "school daze". Very funny, very irreverent (as the title states). I enjoyed it a lot. I've also been reading (via the worldwide web) Robert's monthly columns. His 1st book, DADDY NEEDS A DRINK is very irreverent -and funny, too.