The Haunted Earth

by Dean Koontz

The Maseni were humanoid, but no creature with bulbous forehead, slit mouth and tentacles where fingers should be would ever be mistaken for a man. The Maseni had been on Earth for ten years -- years in which the human race reeled under the shock not only of meeting an alien intelligence, but of knowing for the first time that Earth did not belong to men alone. For the Maseni held the secret of contacting the worlds of the supernatural, and now all of the creatures of legend and mythology had been released from their ancient bondage. Not all of them were happy about the new freedom however -- even a vampire is apt to resent the interference when he's stopped in mid-bite by the precise wording of a decision handed down by the Supreme Court of the United Nations. Dean Koontz takes a wild and wacky look at the wonderful future of Earth when men and demons walk hand in hand.

Genres: Horror, Science Fiction, Fiction, Novels, Fantasy

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1973

About the author

Acknowledged as "America's most popular suspense novelist" (Rolling Stone) and as one of today's most celebrated and successful writers, Dean Ray Koontz has earned the devotion of millions of readers around the world and the praise of critics everywhere for tales of character, mystery, and adventure that strike to the core of what it means to be human.

Dean, the author of many #1 New York Times bestsellers, lives in Southern California with his wife, Gerda, their golden retriever, Elsa, and the enduring spirit of their goldens, Trixie and Anna.

Facebook: Facebook.com/DeanKoontzOfficial
Twitter: @DeanKoontz
Website: DeanKoontz.com

Reviews

[Jim C · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is an early work by Dean Koontz. This book isn't even listed on his list of books written in the opening pages of his more famous books. In this one, an alien race has been living on Earth for ten years. One of these aliens hires a human detective to find a member of the alien race.

Interesting. That would be the word I would use to describe this book. How could it not be interesting when the book contains aliens, vampires, Medusa, and I could go on and on with the various types of creatures. Basically this book is your usual supernatural science fiction detective noir novel that we have all read. (kidding). This book is a very quick read that crosses so many genres and ideas. And that is where the problem lies within this book. There is too much going on for a book that is less than two hundred pages. If this book was longer or even a series I would be into it even though it could not be written today as there are many instances of it being politically incorrect. Even with its flaws I was into the book and I was curious to see how it all tied together.

Dean Koontz is my favorite author and I have read some of his very early works as a novelty. This book falls under that term. I did think this would have been a very interesting book to explore in depth. If you are going into this book expecting something spectacular or serious you will be disappointed. If you go into this book as something to read as a novelty item it will entertain you if you are not easily offended.

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Haunted Earth may be Koontz's funniest novel. Published in 1973, it's set in the near future world of 2000 on an Earth which has had an alien race called the Maseni around for a decade. The Lovecraftian Maseni have brought their supernatural friends, and release Earth's supernatural and mythological beings into the general populace, too. The United Nations drafts rules and regulations so that everyone can live in harmony, but a new race of supernatural beings appears on the peace-loving Maseni homeworld and commits murder. P.I. Jessie Blake, Brutus the Hellhound, and sexy Miss Helena are dispatched to investigate... It's a funny romp but is written in a clear and straight-forward manner and the pace is very fast. Not only do they visit the planet, but the afterlife as well, and they have a rotary-dial Netherphone they can call out with. In another scene, God is the guest on a robot talk show for an interview. It's a grand farce that mixes the horror, science fiction, mythology, fantasy, and detective genres to great comedic effect. This is another of Koontz's early novels that he said wasn't worthy of revision or reprint, but he was wrong.

[wally · Rating 4 out of 5]

i've read so many stories from dean koontz, have enjoyed all of them, though a few from years ago i liken to cheesecloth...the fabric is there...but it won't keep you cozy on cold winter evenings.

there was a time, too, when i picked up a copy of The Dean Koontz Companion and at the back of that, there is a list of his titles at the time(1994)...and included in that list at the back of the companion were 30? 40? 50? titles i'd never heard before, hadn't seen them listed in "also by dean koontz" that is present just past the copyright page of the paperbacks & hardcovers that sit on my shelf. many though not all on this list were published behind a pseudonym and when i checked on-line for copies, most were going for more than this poor carpenter could afford.

heh! like today, this lady calls leaves a message. she had purchased this spec house i built '07-08 in there. out here on the perimeter, we survive. i purchased my house for $6,000 in 1992. use your imagination.
i pick up brass. i pick berries. i have a back yard garden. i hunt. i fish. we survive. but we live in god's country. may it do you fine. it does me well.

meh, you don't wanna know. anyway...where was i?

so...this book arrives u.s.p.s. today. i dive in.

the koontz companion linked above says this was published 1970. believe that may be a mistake, as the paperback itself says 1973. my money's on the p.b. published by lancer books, the companion says:

this is a science-fiction novel set in the near future wracked by tremendous changes, wherein mythical figures like vampires and werewolves and banshees are proven to be real co-inhabitants of our world. it's a comic novel, too, indicating koontz's early interest in making readers laugh as well as shiver. this book has merit, but is an immature work that the author may never revise for republication.

yeah...what do they know. heh! editors and such.

i think this story is a hoot. honest to god, i'm only a couple chapters in, but i'm wondering, was i asleep while the world slipped on its axis? i mean, coupled with the idea that these early novels were beyond my means at one time--the wife and i checked the list in the companion--cause i'm a koontz fan--and used copies were out of the ball park. but now...there's all these used copies floating to the surface, and like, lots. wuzzup wid dat?

where'd they come from, is what i'm saying.

dedication: a crazy story for crazy tillie teeshirt

the story
part one: the alien graveyard, chapters one through sixteen
part two: the beast at midnight, chapters seventeen through twenty-three, the end.

the haunted earth, dean r. koontz (he dropped the "r.")...1973,paperback, lancer publications, 192 pages...no isbn that i can see...there is this 75445-095 on the cover, top right. that it?
or is that dewey decimal? anyone else intimidated by the dewey decimal system? or that just me?

story begins:
count slavek, having proposed a toast to his new friend's great beauty, tossed off the glassful of red wine. then, smiling so broadly that he revealed his two gleaming fangs, he said, "before long, my dear, we shall drink other toasts together, though not of wine."

hold onto your horses, cause jessie blake, private investigator is hiding in the closet, hired by mr cuyler to keep an eye on his wife, ready to be vampire-bit...and the united nations supreme court has made a decision and it bears on vampire/victim scenarios. heh!

i mean! this is from 1973! it has only gotten funnier since then, and if this predicts the future--the date/time of the telling is october 6, 2000--then koontz had his fingertip on the carotid of america at the time. yeah, i know, you're a member of the fashionable elite and you simply won't stand for koontz's display of politics. but damn! this is funny! jessie comes out of the closet, may it do ya fine, at the right moment.

all this adds to the idea that the world slipped...or i did...while the world was slipping. weirdness all around

time place, scene setting
*october 6, 2000, story opener
*blue suite of a hotel
*hell hound investigations offices
*los angeles embassy of the maseni, an alien race now on earth
*four worlds cafe
*blake's high-rise apartment in downtown los angeles
*millennium city, new shopping mall (300 acres!) in los angeles, west los angeles
*the sculpture garden at the above
*the graveyard...at night...ooga booga
*a mausoleum at the graveyard
*los angeles police department
*prison...protective prison/confinement
*the warden's private consultation room
*the starship poogai
*the largest terminal on the maseni home world
*arrivals hall
*gilorelamans inn, an ancient hotel on the lower slopes of piotimkin peak, that is a part of the gilorelamans mountains..."home of the gods" in the old tongue

characters
*count slavek, a vampire, but limited by the kolchak-bliss decision of the united nations supreme court for international law. oh la.
*mrs. reneee cuyler, ready to be vampire bit, ravished, etc
*jessie blake, a private investigator for hell hound investigations
*roger cuyler, who hired jessie and brutus to keep an eye on his wife
*brutus, a hell hound, namesake of the investigation company
*galiotor fils, a maseni, an alien, almost ten years now, since they came to earth, set up shop. "he looked like something made from wax drippings." he hires jessie and brutus
*galiotor tesserax, his brood brother, deceased, he has been told...he was the 2nd ranking maseni on earth...was at the los angeles embassy
*helena, secretary at hell hound investigations...she could make commercials for unnatural sex acts
*myer hanlon, another investigator
*pelinorie kones, another maseni, approached myer for help in locating brood sister:
*pelinorie mesa, also missing, or something
*pure earthers, right-wing group
*a sweet, gray-haired old woman in a silk dress patterned w/silk flowers, a pure earther outside the four worlds cafe
*god the father...w/a hussy on his arm
*shockies, another set of humans, or, a type of reaction to the maseni coming to earth, october 10, 1990...they've been here for ten years now
*a shambler, a maseni supernatural, current hostess at four worlds cafe, though she doesn't work weekends--she terrorizes children then--name of mabel

(a shambler is a night prowler who comes after little children who have been behaving badly during the day...children beware! watch what you saying! cause they're watching everything that you do! tracking one another's friends! the n.s.a. is keeping tabs on your facebook and tumblr accounts! free the chicago seven!)

*mr ezekial "zeke" kanastorous, a demon and a sin merchant (sin is legal)
*a tibetan wolfwoman
*gayla, a one-way succubus, can only be a woman, under contract to:
*williard ames, human attache to maseni embassy in los angeles
*a golden boy w/huge wings, halo, robert, host at the four worlds cafe on weekends...when mabel pays in tip money to terrorize children
*four big black men eating watermelon, four worlds cafe (stereo-typical black men, written as such, parody, that or a windmill for you to tilt at, go for it)
*a group of mythical italians, 3 men, 3 women, at four worlds
*a lumbering zombie whose eyes were pure white
*a moloch, satan's secretary of state
*medusa, in the mens room at four worlds cafe
*company robot
*mr. holagosta mur, chief of the maseni embassy in los angeles
*a young couple at the mall
*artemis frick, statue at the mall, the 1st man to die on mars
*count slavek and 4 or 5 of his vampire buddies
*several sorcerers
*werewolves
*a dumpy, white-faced, sunken-eyed little man wearing badly wrinkled clothes, a ghoul...william whitlock, confined to the mausoleum at the graveyard
*los angeles police department, sergeant bode
*prison computer voice, recorded/made by big brother building systems company, using the voice of miss tessie alice armbruster, a retired school teacher from holidaysburg, pennsylvania, july 9, 1987
*the pritchard robert tv show...
*god, interviewed on the above
*an honest politician...scheduled next, after god
*a new supernatural, wrecking things on the home planet of the maseni
*the protector...a myth-generated being on the maseni home planet
*red-faced man...behind the wheel of some sort of maseni car...a mythical drunken driver, prohibited by law from doing harm, though he is able to terrorize folk
*a maseni robot
*mandarin/maseni tooner hogar, a.k.a. "hogar the poisoner"...at the ancient inn/hotel in the mountains
*pearlamon and gonius....two gods racing about the hallways of the ancient hotel
*miseni hermit, kinibobur biks, in love w/a wood sprite who inhabits the center of the mountain there on the maseni home world
*zemena, the wood sprite
*couvani, maseni werewolves
*two supernaturals on the maseni home world who took their own lives
*four other maseni...subject six and seven
*mist demon, yilio
*yilio's wife, earth born female angel, name, hannah
*an em-rec...maseni robot/computer...records...but needs interpretation from subject for accuracy
*the suicides from three or five up:
*mother, kekiopa, little known caribbean storm goddess elemental
*ityitsil, the reptile master

update, finished, 29 aug 13 thursday evening, 8:00 p.m. e.s.t.
an entertaining and comedic story...just what the good doctor ordered. vampires, but they're limited by united nations court decisions...shamblers that terrorize children, paying to do so w/the tip money they make hostessing at the four worlds cafe, mythical creatures from the past and mythical creatures, human, alien and combinations thereof...acting mythical.

excellent story. recommended. one of the early ones.

[Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite Koontz books. It is so far out of the "norm" that he writes. I read it after reading several of his books and I found this to be a nice, and interesting, break from his thrillers. If you love Koontz books, I do recommend reading this one.

[K. L. · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was imbecilic and annoying to even try to read.
I read two chapters and then sped read/browsed the rest. It did not get better.
I cannot believe this is someone's favorite Koontz book (the recommender.)

[MikeR · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Haunted Earth, a novel by Dean Koontz published in 1973, takes place in the 2000s where Maseni aliens have coexisted with humans for ten years. To ensure peace, the United Nations establishes guidelines, but things spiral out of control when a supernatural entity emerges and begins to take lives. The story follows private investigator Jessie Blake, her companion Brutus the Hellhound, and Miss Helena as they delve into the mystery, combining elements of horror, science fiction, mythology, and detective work. This humorous novella features a mix of aliens, vampires, and other fantastical beings. Koontz's distinctive style adds to its charm, though readers should approach it with an open mind due to some controversial themes.

[Joseph]

The only Koontz novel I've ever been able to finish. Funny and occasionally scary. the humor is a bit broad, but the concepts are well thought out.

[Jackie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Different from his usual writings

[Jack Casey · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an early work of Dean Koontz, you can't expect it to live up to the books released later in his career but this book does show off some fairly poor writing at times. Conversations are all he said, she said, he said, with no real variation. It is also a clear product of its time, with half the talk of the main female character being about sex or physical attraction. It also explores some racism which, I would like to think is a commentary on its absurdness but, I cannot say that with confidence. It is not entirely difficult to figure out the next part of the plot and the ending leaves much to be desired. While a decent concept with enjoyable worldbuilding such as with certain rules etc, it falls a little flat for me.

[Nigel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy to read slightly humorous outing from Koontz. A alien species, Maseni has landed on Earth and now share the planet. There presence has enable all the supernatural being of myths (vampiers, ghouls etc.) to be seen and so these creatures now also share the Earth with humans and Maseni. Jessie Blake (PI) is tasked with finding out what has really happen to on Maseni when relatives are not happy with the official word. He suddenly finds himself up to his neck with supernatural enemies and on a trip to the Maseni home world. Can he use all of his detective abilities and those of his hell hound partner to solve the myster?

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the strangest Koontz book I’ve read yet! But so rich and interesting as far as the world and the characters. I definitely prefer his more recent stuff, if mostly for the hope and elements of faith he brings to them, which this one seems to be lacking. A more cynical tone prevails throughout this story but it’s still charming and witty, as always.

[Xenophon Hendrix · Rating 1 out of 5]

The world building has an interesting idea, but I didn't care about the characters, and the story was dull. As a bonus, it's either sexist, or one of the characters is meant to be a surprise Easter-egg realization for the reader.

[Nicholas · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting setting, decent characters, story hook that held my attention. One of the better Koontz books I've read. Unfortunately, it crapped out on the ending, so much so that it felt like a waste of my time.

[MaryReadsRomance · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this long ago. This is one of Koontz's earlier books. Funny science fiction / horror campy book. Was original for the time : )

[Adam Stephens · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just a really strange book. Obviously written early in his career.