My Extraordinary Ordinary Life

by Sissy Spacek, Mary Anne Vollers

In her delightful and moving memoir, Sissy Spacek writes about her idyllic, barefoot childhood in a small East Texas town, with the clarity and wisdom that comes from never losing sight of her roots. Descended from industrious Czech immigrants and threadbare southern gentility, she grew up a tomboy, tagging along with two older brothers and absorbing grace and grit from her remarkable parents, who taught her that she could do anything. She also learned fearlessness in the wake of a family tragedy, the grief propelling her "like rocket fuel" to follow her dreams of becoming a performer.

With a keen sense of humor and a big-hearted voice, she describes how she arrived in New York City one star-struck summer as a seventeen-year-old carrying a suitcase and two guitars; and how she built a career that has spanned four decades with films such as Carrie , Coal Miner's Daughter , 3 Women , and The Help . She details working with some of the great directors of our time, including Terrence Malick, Robert Altman, David Lynch, and Brian De Palma-who thought of her as a no-talent set decorator until he cast her as the lead in Carrie. She also reveals why, at the height of her fame, she and her family moved away from Los Angeles to a farm in rural Virginia.

Whether she's describing the terrors and joys of raising two talented, independent daughters, taking readers behind the scenes on Oscar night, or meditating on the thrill of watching a pair of otters frolicking in her pond, Sissy Spacek's memoir is poignant and laugh-out-loud funny, plainspoken and utterly honest. My Extraordinary Ordinary Life is about what matters the exquisite worth of ordinary things, the simple pleasures of home and family, and the honest job of being right with the world. "If I get hit by a truck tomorrow," she writes, "I want to know I've returned my neighbor's cake pan."

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, History, Film

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Louise Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, particularly Sissy Spacek's account of growing up in small town, Quitman, Texas. As I was reading that portion I kept thinking she reminded me of Scout Finch in "To Kill a Mockingbird"--that same spirit, spunk, and streak of integrity. (I may have been disposed to think that way because one of my favorite audio books has Spacek reading Harper Lee's classic.) It didn't surprise me when she commented that "To Kill a Mockingbird" was her favorite book and Scout one of her favorite literary characters.

Sissy Spacek was blessed with a wonderful family, parents who were loving and two brothers she adored. Because of that solid background she has never forgotten her roots and has remained grounded, down-to-earth, with good values firmly in place.

Since she is one of my favorite actors I enjoyed her behind-the-scenes
glimpses of the filming of some of the movies I have loved. Such a variety of roles from the early times of "Carrie" and "Badlands", through "Coal Miner's Daughter" on down to "The Help". Two of my personal favorites "Crimes of the Heart" and "The Straight Story", were small movies but I thought she was terrific in them and was pleased to learn that she liked them, too.

All in all, it was a pleasure to read the memoirs of one who values the important things in life, particularly her family and friends. Quite refreshing!

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now that was refreshing. I enjoy reading about actors and Hollywood but don't want to read the gossipy part of it. Sissy Spacek manages to tell the reader about various people but with grace and respect. She doesn't have one unkind thing to say about anyone, that is top drawer in my book. An excellent and enjoyable book to read.

[Roxy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is so refreshing to read about an entertainer who is grounded, down to earth, and who has been married for many years to one person while raising two delightful daughters.

[Carolyn F. · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first I thought this would be a book of story after story of how wonderful her life was with no trouble of any kind. Then when she got past her childhood, the book became more interesting and to me you find a more well rounded life explained. I ended up really enjoying the book.

[Anthony McGill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always loved Sissy Spacek as a very special actor, now I admire her as a very special person. This autobiography is more about her families: human and animal. A busy life well covered: growing up in East Texas, her career beginnings in NYC, her breakthrough roles, her long and loving marriage to film art director Jack Fisk, her later life in the Virginia countryside.

Family tragedies such as the loss of a brother at a young age and the death of her mother are poignantly written about.

Her film career is briefly outlined but all the important details are here. Just enough to go relive her quality performances in such films as 'Badlands'/ Carrie'/ '3 Women'/ 'Coal Miner's Daughter'/ 'Missing'/ 'Crimes of the Heart' and 'In the Bedroom'.

Enjoyed reading about her relationships with 'in-laws' like David Lynch, cousin Rip Torn and Geraldine Page. And all those dogs and cats!

But don't expect lots of gossip or dirt, just some nice reminiscing of a fine career and down to earth lifestyle. Added bonus is the 16 pages of color and black and white photos, a treasure trove of family and career mementos, all beautifully compiled in this excellent autobiography.

[dallen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sissy Spacek is Extraordinarily Ordinary!

It was finally an honor to meet Sissy Spacek and Maryanne Vollers, and it was fitting that they conducted some of their research right here at the Quitman Public Library. I could not help wondering why Sissy would be writing an autobiography at such a young age. I love everything about this book! It is well-written and a pleasure to read. There are little line drawings sprinkled throughout the story that made me smile with recognition. The front cover art has such a pretty picture of Sissy, and the back cover shows "tomboy" Sissy holding a pretty nice-sized fish, no doubt caught in Lake Quitman. I have to admit to being drawn first to the photo album at the center of the book, because I wanted to see the people I have heard so much about since I moved to Quitman, Texas in 2002. Her story provokes the reader to feel emotions that are often sweet but sometimes melancholy.
If you are fortunate to listen to the audio version, you can hear Sissy tell her story in her own soft Texas drawl.

[Mom · Rating 4 out of 5]

The edition that I read was on Audible. I really enjoyed listening to the author's voice, it gave the book a very personal account of her life. The thing that I miss with audible is seeing the pictures. I just might have to buy a physical copy so that I might enjoy any pictures that are included.

[Floyd Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gem of a book. I actually bought it for my wife but then decided I wanted to read it myself. I had a personal interest in that Jack Fisk, Sissy's husband, was in my high school class as was his best friend David Lynch (of Twin Peak's fame). I was hoping there would be a good bit about Jack and David in the book and there was. This was a delightful story about a girl growing up in a small southern town in the 50s and 60s, who went on to achieve great fame and success as a movie actress. I could relate to childhood in the small town south having spent part of my formative years in Arkansas. What struck me most was that notwithstanding her fame and good fortune, Sissy has remained well grounded and has not forgotten her roots. The book is impressive in that her love of family and ordinary living comes through. As for her movie career, the parts I enjoyed most were about her roles in Badlands, Carrie, and Coal Miner's Daughter. All-in-all, I found this to be a quite refreshing and uplifting story.

[Tamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have never seen Carrie, Badlands, Coal Miner's Daughter, nor many of the films she references in this book, but I have always admired Sissy Spacek for her integrity and forthrightness. I loved her in The Help, and in Missing (which, if you haven't seen it, please do.) I like this autobiography because it shows a loving family growing up in a small town and doing ordinary things. There is no recovering drug addict storyline, no sexual exploits, just a level head and a powerful love, for family, for pets, for life. It is wonderful to see that someone this grounded can have so much success. I even loved the little drawings that were inserted into the book. Though a different time period, this almost reminded me of the Laura Ingalls Wilder Little House on the Prairie books, with some Hollywood names thrown in.

[Florence Buchholz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sissy Spacek is a long time resident of the central Virginia community where I also reside. We know her as a good neighbor and a person who cares about her community. Almost everyone I know has run into Sissy at some time or other around town and they all have nice things to say about her. For these reasons I was eager to read her book. I loved the descriptions of her childhood in small town Texas and the way she traced her roots back to Moravia. She seems to be a very grounded, sensible person in spite of being a movie actor for over 25 years. And she has a harmonious family life. This is not the way we usually think of the lives of movie stars. Knowing that Sissy was on the board of directors of the local SPCA, I was a bit disappointed to learn that some of her friends are fox-hunters. Oh well, no one is perfect.

[Beverly Zearley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this biography of Sissy Spacek!! I didn't really know much about her before reading it, but am now a complete fan!! I love how down-to-earth she seems and would love to meet her some time. We are a lot alike too, especially in what we like to wear in summer...button down shirt, knee length shorts and Chacos!! I am known as "Chaco Mom"! I can't wait to watch some of the movies that she has been in. The memoir was really written well and I highly recommend it!!

[Arlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book because Sissy shares with us her life. Not just her acting career but all the things that add up to make Sissy Spacek the woman she is! I could relate to many of her stories of growing up in the late 50s and the 60s. I have always admired Sissy as an actress but it is gratifying to find an actress who is so grounded in her own ordinary extraordinary life.

[Spela Trefalt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was listening to this audio book and it felt like hanging out with a chatty friend (with a lovely southern twang). Just an easy-going story of a life. Once I let go of expectations for drama, I truly enjoyed it. Ms. Spacek has such a positive take on life and she lives it. I now want to watch several of her movies that I haven't seen before.

[HR-ML · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sissy had an c0-author assist in writing her memoirs.
Some films I liked her in best were : Carrie, Coal
Miners Daughter, Missing (1982) & Marie.

Sissy looked back warmly to her Texas childhood with
her parents and two older brothers. They were a close-
knit group. Sadly her brother Robbie died in his early
20s of Leukemia.

Sissy so wanted to be a singer. After HS graduation
she tried out the idea of college, but it didn't feel right.
Her parents allowed her to go to NYC alone to seek out
singing gigs. Eventually she did her own singing in
"Coal Miner's Daughter." She recorded a couple CDs.

Sissy touched on racial injustice & inaccurate depiction
of Appalachian culture in film. Sissy fell in love w/ and
wed her soul mate: movie production designer+ director
Jack Fisk. They raised their 2 daughters (now grown) in
rural Virginia.

I admired Sissy's independence & how she 'trusted her
gut.' And her deep dedication to private family experiences.

[Kandice · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book felt very much like a conversation with Sissy. I've loved her since Carrie, and marvel at her ability to inhabit so many diverse characters despite having such a distinct look and type. I was happy to find that she seems to be a genuinely good person, living the life she chooses.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

The word "decent" comes to mind when reading this book, in the sense that the writer and her world is one of strength of character, modesty, morality and the appreciation of the true essence of "success" being that of love of family, friends, nature, community and work. Ms. Spacek seems to have lived a charmed life, not without its sorrows, no one can escape that entirely, but she has lived (and is living) a life of which she can truly be proud. Her professional accomplishments are impressive as well as her personal ones: a long and stable marriage and loving talented children. There is nothing to dislike about this book, it takes the reader through what can only be described as a bucolic childhood and youth during an era, while not so far in the past, is long gone. She was allowed a great deal of freedom at an early age, and her innate curiosity, talent and artistic drive led her to fame and fortune.

I enjoyed reading the book, and I truly came to like and admire Ms. Spacek, but there was something missing; there seemed to be too much "reportage", a sense of being detached and simply chronicling the events of a life. I wouldn't call it gripping, and there were times when the narrative seemed dry and almost clinical - it was decent.

[Julz · Rating 1 out of 5]

I started this book thinking Sissy was someone who came from simple roots in Texas to make it to the big time in Hollywood. Instead she had ample resources, spent years as a self-centered musician, had a family who paid her way to spend summers as a teenager in New York with her uncle, Rip Torn, and his wife, Geraldine Page, and sat at the knee of Page backstage on Broadway. Hardly humble beginnings as folksy as she may have dictated the stories to her co-writer. I was left feeling less admiring of her accomplishments.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not entirely what I expected. I though Sissy would give us more insight into the films she was in; but she spends about 80% of the book describing her childhood experiences growing up in east Texas. They are interesting and wistful; but I wish she would have spent more time discussing her film career. I was a little disappointed.

[Marsmannix · Rating 3 out of 5]

i chose this because i have always thought SS was the most beautiful actress in H'wood, and one of the most unusual. Her performance in 'Night, Mother is life-altering.

so this sweet little book about her life growing up in Texas and her journey to acting served to verify what i'd read in other places.

nice read.

[Anita · Rating 4 out of 5]

love her personality and reading about her Texas childhood was spectacular. I had no idea that she and her husband were so close to David Lynch! Her stories about Badlands, Coal Miner's Daughter and Carrie were very entertaining. Great summer read.

[Gardiner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Sissy Spacek, but I thought this book was a bit tedious.

[LibraryCin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Sissy Spacek grew up in rural Texas (Quitman) with two older brothers. She was a tomboy and wanted to be a singer. She loved her life growing up, but she did leave to see if she could become a musician. She initially stayed in New York with her actor uncle Rip Torn for a while and eventually made her way to Los Angeles. We all know she became a very well-respected actor, highlights included “Carrie” and “Coal Miner’s Daughter” (at least, these are the two I think of first!).

I liked this. She seems to be really down to earth. She and her husband chose to live on a farm in Virginia to raise their two daughters in a rural area like she’d been raised herself. I like that she grew up in a town about the same size as the town I grew up in. I love that she loves animals (though I wasn’t excited to read about the hunting – though both her brothers cried when they first shot something). She did talk about filming some of the movies she did, including “Carrie” and “Coal Miner’s Daughter”, as well as a few others. This also makes me want to rewatch “Coal Miner’s Daughter” just a little bit!

[Joey K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book about Sissy Spacek. She is a humble and a very down to earth person, that has had sorrow and happiness throughout her life.she enjoys the small things, and we all can take a lesson from her. I laughed out loud when she talked about the limo at the grocery store. I can hear her laughing. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are an incredible actress and person.

[Shaun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never knew Sissy Spacek was so likable. A very warm and engaging memoir.

[Randy Auxier · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review originally appeared in the Carbondale Nightlife, Sept. 27-Oct.3, 2012, p. 18.

The difference between an autobiography and a memoir is pretty vague. But I think an autobiography should try to give the causes of the life. A memoir presents just the life as it was lived. Sissy Spacek did the latter. This decision was well-considered, and perhaps even calculated. Her new book won’t fly off the shelves. It also isn’t made for close study. When you are finished, you will know many facts about Sissy’s life and family, and how she felt or saw things along the way, but you won’t really know her in any profound sense. She did that on purpose. This book is a kind of career move for her, and a very sensible one. Actresses in their 60’s have to make a tough transition from mother to crone, and precious few succeed. Spacek’s recent scene-stealing performance as a demented granny in The Help was not physically believable. But it didn’t matter.

I don’t think Sissy Spacek has “fans” per se, as, say, Jessica Lange once had (someone the same age whose transition to crone has been pretty rocky). Judicious selection of parts and directors, not to mention a good bit of proximate luck, enabled Spacek to cultivate artistic respect instead of celebrity for its own sake. The fact that Sissy married David Lynch’s best friend, who also liked to hang out with Terrence Malick, gave her a serious advantage, although it may not have seemed so when all of those people were young, unknown, and broke. Is she a serious artist? I’ve never seen her in a film I didn’t respect. Sometimes she hits the bullseye as she did in The Help, or, my personal favorite, Crimes of the Heart. In a way, Spacek seems like a kind of blank slate onto which we can project whatever we need her to be. She seems like girls and women we all know (that’s part of her secret, she’s a girl-woman). She isn’t glamorous or brilliant or especially talented, but you noticed her in high school. You just never asked her out.

This memoir recounts Sissy’s childhood in Quitman, Texas, her struggle to become Joni Mitchell before Joni did it (and don’t they look alike?), her first stumbling efforts at acting, and her major successes after her debut in Malick’s classic, Badlands. The childhood anecdotes consume too much space, in my opinion. Sissy is more intent on recording her memories than on whether anyone would really care to read about them. But there are outstanding (and symbolic) moments that carry a reader through. For example, the time Sissy climbed a tree and refused to come down. When asked by her Atticus-Finch-of-a-father what she wanted, she said, “I want to sit in this tree…and I want to eat an orange.” She has pretty much lived her life that way, sitting in a tree in the Virginia Piedmont and leaving only to eat the occasional, hand-picked, juicy, seedless, blood orange of a Hollywood role. Must be nice, huh?

She reads her own audio memoir, and I have the same ambivalence about it that characterizes my entire feeling on this subject. Is she good at this? I listened to her performance on the audio version of To Kill A Mockingbird – which Spacek did at the personal request of Harper Lee – and I don’t know whether I liked it or not. I think I liked it. I couldn’t have done any better, but as with everything Sissy touches, I come away thinking more than feeling any catharsis. Maybe that’s the key? We don’t focus on anything special about her, but, rather, use her performances as occasions for partial identification. Looking at her agency headshots from early in her acting career, it would be pretty hard to imagine that she could land a single role. There’s nothing here. But Hollywood was changing in the late 60’s, needing neither the girl next door nor the seductive starlet. We wanted to start over in the Age of Aquarius. Sissy was in the right place at the right time and had a discerning eye. Her choice of life-partner in Jack Fisk proves that well enough. Consider this jewel from the book. “Although we had been together for months, it wasn’t until I met David that Jack really started making sense to me. Together they were like two alien Eagle Scouts on a mission from Planet Art. For them, filmmaking was an expressive form that synthesized all of the creative elements of painting and sculpture, light and music. It’s what they talked about, and all they wanted to do. I felt lucky to be included, and I found that I fit right in with them. This was the place I had been looking for. For the first time in my life, I felt a part of the conversation. I finally had my own seat at the table.” The bottom line is that Sissy is an artsy-fartsy baby boomer hippie, the Texas version, and she belongs with others at the high end of that type. And they belong with her.

[Laurel-Rain · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a reader, I feel a special connection to the author of a memoir, especially one written by a celebrity who is as down to earth as Sissy Spacek.

I still recall her first movies and how she seemingly inhabited her roles. Almost as if they were made for her.

In "My Extraordinary Ordinary Life," I discover why this is true. Reading about how she grew up in a small town in Texas in the 1950s, I could totally feel connected to her life. Even though I grew up in a small California town, the similarities existed. Small town life comes to define its inhabitants, and for all those who have lived in them, the connections are like strong twine that forms between all of us.

We see Sissy's life growing up, and follow her from Texas to New York to California. And then, as she begins to become that star with the ability to inhabit the lives of the characters she played, the special story unfolds. As references were made to each of her films, I found myself grabbing my own DVDs from my shelves: Coal Miner's Daughter, Crimes of the Heart, In the Bedroom, and The Help.

Finally Sissy and her husband Jack found their true home on a farm in Virginia, and her descriptions of that home and how various family members have joined them there filled me with nostalgia. Nostalgia for an ordinary life that is so filled with the treasure trove of people we love that it truly becomes extraordinary.

For all those who enjoy a memoir that spotlights both ordinary and extraordinary moments, I recommend this book. Five stars.

[Mike Maginot · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently listened to Sissy Spacek read Stephen King’s Carrie. Her narrative voice, so different from the whimpering title character she played in Brian DePalma’s film of the same name, is pleasing to the ear. She spoke with authority and got to play all the parts this time around.

When the opportunity came to listen to Spacek read aloud her recently published autobiography, I thought it would be a pleasant trip down memory lane. Spacek starred in several of my favorite films and her husband, Jack Fisk, was the production designer on a few more. I do enjoy a good behind the scenes story.

After a brief movie related teaser, Spacek spends the early chapters of her book talking about her family, growing up in Texas, and her time in New York trying to make it as a singer/songwriter. Related to actor, Rip Torn, who was married to actress, Geraldine Page, she was exposed to the best Broadway had to offer, but her dream was to write and sing music, not to be a movie star.

There are great behind the scenes stories from Prime Cut, Badlands, Carrie, and The Coal Miner’s Daughter, but some of the best stories have nothing to do with the movies.

My Extraordinary Ordinary Life is at times poetic and philosophical, well worth the read, but readers will miss out, Sissy Spacek is a fine storyteller. Having the author read their book isn’t always the best choice, but Spacek knows how to engage her listeners and delivers a punch line with southern style. I look forward to hearing her read To Kill a Mockingbird which she has also recorded.

[Karin · Rating 4 out of 5]

★★★1/2 ☊

From a small town in Texas to Hollywood fame to her current life in between Virginia and the movies, this is the life of Sissy Spacek. She grew up as a tap dancing, baton twirling tomboy following her older brothers around in the days when children grew up more free range. She pursued music, convinced she had no acting talent because she never landed a role in a school play, but, as most of us know, she finally ended up as an A list actor for many years. And whatever else you say about Sissy Spacek, she is one of the most brilliant actors of the latter half of the twentieth century, and she was wise enough to get a professional author to write this with her.

I was prepared to like this given her one time connection and kindness to my brother, and some of it I loved, but some of it I only liked, and some got rather repetitive. I was happy to learn about her experiences making a few movies that had a powerful impact on me many years ago, and to learn how she got there and kept herself grounded and out of living and believing the Hollywood hype all the time. In some places, though, she’d lost off a number of names I have never heard of that I didn’t necessarily need to know, and I’d have liked to hear a bit more about her children growing up and a bit less about all of her pets. I also thought that even though she did mention some of the tragedies their family experience, she idealized her childhood quite a bit.

I don’t know if I’d have liked this as much had I read it rather than listened to it

[Sylvia Valevicius · Rating 4 out of 5]

A warm, engaging memoir/biography written with author Maryanne Vollers. A light, smooth read. Not syrupy as one might think in spite of many details of Spacek growing up with enviable loving parents and siblings within idyllic conditions in small-town living of East Texas. Except for a family tragedy that we wish would not happen to anyone, Sissy's life was charmed.

She counts her blessings. She reveals her talents as a musician, an award-winning actress, a lovely mother, wife, and all-round good person.

I enjoyed remembering her exceptional films such as 'Carrie', 'Coal Miner's Daughter' and 'Missing' - to touch on merely a few. I wouldn't mind viewing them again if they were resurrected on Netflix.

Her career brought her to her steadfast, amazing, film-art-designer husband. They seemed to provide both stability and fun for each other. Together they created their non-Hollywood lifestyle among the nature of rural Virginia. With their beloved collection of animals, they also raised two wonderful daughters who rode horses and enjoyed their environment.
The girls grew to develop similar talents as their parents in performing arts and design.

I loved the stories about the kids when they were small. An anecdote about one girl and her father:

When he shaved his long-time beard, little Madison, "had never seen him without a beard before. She looked at him closely and asked,'What's your name now?'
"'It's still Dad,' he said."
Cute!
This book was a real delight for me, and seems like it could also make a superb movie of this true American Girl - Sissy Spacek.

[Conrad Wesselhoeft · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written with grace and filled with poignance, I was reminded early on of "To Kill a Mockingbird," only to learn that the Harper Lee classic has had a lasting impact on Sissy Spacek.

Spacek has been blessed with a great life--a profoundly nurturing childhood in small-town Texas; a great husband and family; and an ascendant, much-heralded film career.

Many memoirs rush through the early years--eager to get to the sexier chapters of success and fame. But Spacek lingers on her childhood in Quitman, Texas, and it's clear why. Her young world was not a lean, hungry, cold, or tragic place, but instead a world of strong, caring adults and good friends. Of barefoot tomboys and mischief at dusk. It's not unlike the world of Scout Finch in "Mockingbird." Yes, darkness does weave into the story, but it's out of her--or anybody else's--control.

While centering on her film career--starting with her good fortune in being cast in Terrance Malick's first feature film, "Badlands," and chronicling the making of "Carrie," "Coal Miner's Daughter" and others--Spacek's story is flanked by languorous passages about rural living: first in Texas, and now in Virginia, where she and her husband make their home on a farm.

Do I need all the stories about dogs and cats? Old oak trees and golden leaves in the fall?

Probably not.

But nor do I need to glance at the sunset as I write this.

I'm glad I did, though.

It's a lovely book.