Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life

by Karen Armstrong

Karen Armstrong explains how to practise the religion of compassion that her last books have preached.

In November 2009 Armstrong and TED launched The Charter of Compassion, which states that "We call upon all men and women to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion...to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings — even those regarded as enemies." To date, it's been signed by over 48,000 people on the Web, including such figures as The Dalai Lama and Queen Noor, Dave Eggers and Meg Ryan. (www.charterforcompassion.org) Out of the ideals of that Charter has come this humane, accessible, indispensable short book for our times.


From the Hardcover edition.

Genres: Nonfiction, Religion, Spirituality, Self Help, Philosophy, Psychology, Audiobook

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Karen Armstrong is a British author and commentator of Irish Catholic descent known for her books on comparative religion. A former Roman Catholic religious sister, she went from a conservative to a more liberal and mystical Christian faith. She attended St Anne's College, Oxford, while in the convent and graduated in English. She left the convent in 1969. Her work focuses on commonalities of the major religions, such as the importance of compassion and the Golden Rule.
Armstrong received the US$100,000 TED Prize in February 2008. She used that occasion to call for the creation of a Charter for Compassion, which was unveiled the following year.

Reviews

[Lisa McKenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only thing cynical about this book is its title.
In her closing pages, Armstrong writes, "The attempt to become a compassionate being is a lifelong project. It is not achieved in an hour or a day-or even in twelve steps. It is a struggle that will last until our dying hour. Nearly every day we will fail, but we cannot give up."
Why do I point out the obvious marketing ploy of the title? Because my name is Lisa, and I am a recovering snark-a-holic. I grew up in a household where debate was a blood sport. My two little sisters and I engaged in verbal sparring like three kittens gleefully eviscerating prey. It really wasn't until I brought home my verbally restrained husband that I saw anything bizarre about that.
Armstrong's background as a religious scholar serves the narrative well. She feeds my voracious appetite for knowledge as she gently suggests that perhaps we smarty-pants-know-it-all's don't actually know as much as we think. Rather than fly to judgement, she suggests we ought to reflect a bit upon the vastness of what we don't know about our perceived opponent. Do we ruminate, Rumsfeld-style, on the unknown unknowns for a tactical advantage? No. The point here is not to win the war, or even the battle. The point is lay down our arms and discover common ground. Stuff like, Do Unto Others as You Would Have Others Do Unto You. Or, Don't Do Unto Others What You Don't Want Others Doing to You. (10 bonus points if you can tell me which one is more enlightened. Oh wait, that's inviting another debate.)
Is compassion easy? Nope. Not for a gal whose playground was a battle ground, for whom sharp sarcasm was a shiny toy.
Having a baby nearly cured me of sarcasm. Babies don't get sarcasm. I had to learn to speak differently if I wanted to communicate with my child.
Now that he's fifteen, he thinks it's a hoot when an insult shoots out of my mouth like a thunderbolt on a sunny day. I need to look elsewhere to continue my education in compassion. Armstrong's book points out other little tips I ought to learn sooner than later. For instance, she suggests that religious fundamentalists don't like it when you make fun of them. It only makes them more fundamental. So much for my plan for my sister and I to visit the Genesis museum wearing a Phil Collins t-shirts.
See? After walking Karen Armstrong's twelve steps, I know I still have a long way to go. Making peace is not for wimps. It's hard work!
Here's a link to my essay inspired, in part, from Karen Armstrong: http://mslabrat.wordpress.com/2011/09...

[Mohammad Hrabal · Rating 4 out of 5]

در جهانی که ما زندگی می‌کنیم و به‌ طرز خطرناکی پاره‌ پاره شده‌ است، شفقت بهترین سلاح و صرفه است، اما حصول بدان مستلزم تلاش فراوان ذهن و قلب است. گاندی در جمله‌ای به‌ یاد ماندنی گفت که ما باید به همان تغییری بدل شویم که می‌خواهیم در جهان شاهدش باشیم. اگر خودمان به زندگی نفس مدارانه و بی‌مهر و توأم با آز ادامه دهیم و عنان پیش‌ داوری‌های نسنجیده را رها کنیم، منطقاً نمی‌توانیم از رهبران خودمان یا دیگر ملت‌ها انتظار داشته باشیم که سیاست‌های انسانی‌تر را بپذیرند. صفحه ۳۲ کتاب
کنفوسیوس می‌گوید در زندگی سیاسی اگر در پی محکم کردن جای پای خود هستیم، باید در پی محکم کردن جای پای دیگران نیز باشیم. صفحه‌ی ۸۰ کتاب
می‌دانیم که هیچ‌ چیز دوام نمی‌آورد. همه‌ چیز حتی پر حرارت ترین لحظات شادی و لذت ناپایدار است. به‌ همین دلیل است که بوداییان تأکید می‌کنند وجود، رنج (دوکه) است. صفحه‌ی ۹۰ کتاب
غالباً علت بیچارگی ما خودمان هستیم. ما در طلب چیزها و آدم‌ها هستیم، اگر چه در اعماق قلب خود می‌دانیم که اینها نمی‌توانند ما را خشنود سازند. تصور می‌کنیم که اگر شغل خاصی به‌ دست آوریم یا به موفقیت‌های ویژه‌ای دست یابیم، تمام مشکلاتمان حل می‌شود، اما ناگهان در می‌یابیم که چیزهایی که ما با چنین شور و شوقی خواهان آن هستیم، چندان هم شگفت‌انگیز نیستند. لحظه‌ای که چیزی را به دست می‌آوریم، نگرانی برای از دست دادن آن را آغاز می‌کنیم. صفحه‌ی ۹۰ کتاب
تقریباً تمام سنت‌های دینی رنج را در رأس آموزه‌های خویش قرار داده‌اند. می‌توانیم رنج را عقب برانیم و تظاهر کنیم که اندوه فراگیر جهان کاری با ما ندارد، اما اگر چنین کنیم، در وضعیت نازل‌تری از خودمان محدود باقی می‌مانیم. صفحه ۱۰۰ کتاب
نمایش‌های تراژیک نقشی را که هنر می‌تواند در گسترش همدلی‌های ما ایفا کند به ما گوشزد می‌کنند. نمایش‌ها و فیلم‌ها و داستان‌ها ما را قادر می‌سازند که به‌ گونه‌ای خلاق به زندگی‌های دیگر وارد شویم و از مردمی که تجربه‌هایشان به‌ کلی با ما متفاوت است، همدلانه حمایت نماییم. این آثار هنری لحظاتی از خلسه‌ی مشفقانه را در اختیار ما قرار می‌دهند و ما در طی این گام باید تصمیم بگیریم که به هنر اجازه دهیم ما را آشفته سازد و باعث شود که پیش‌ داوری‌های عمیق و ریشه‌دار را به پرسش بگیریم. فیلم‌ها به‌ ویژه بسیار برانگیزنده‌اند چرا که بزرگی پرده ما را به شخصیت‌ها نزدیک‌تر می‌کند. می‌توانیم ببینیم که به گریه افتاده‌ایم و همچنان‌ که شاهد رنج شخصیت‌های فیلم هستیم، عصب‌های آینه‌ای‌مان به‌ کار افتاده‌اند، اگرچه ذهن عقلانی‌مان به ما می‌گوید که رنج آنها به‌ کلی تخیلی است. هنگامی‌ که بدین شیوه متأثر می‌شویم، نباید آنقدر عجول باشیم که با بیرون رفتن از سینما یا گذاشتن کتاب روی قفسه، این تجربه را به دست فراموشی بسپاریم. باید بگذاریم وضعیت‌های غم‌انگیز برای همیشه در ذهن ما نقش ببندد. صفحات ۱۰۵-۱۰۶ کتاب
هنگامی‌که به یقین‌ها، تمایل‌ها و نفرت‌هایمان می‌چسبیم و وجود آنها را برای وجود خودمان ضروری می‌انگاریم، خویشتن را از «تغییر بزرگ» راه دور می‌کنیم زیرا واقعیت آن است که همگی ما در تغییری دائمی به سر می‌بریم و از وضعیتی به وضعیت دیگر حرکت می‌کنیم. جوانگ‌دزو توضیح می‌دهد که فردی جاهل و متعصب همچون قورباغه‌ی درون چاه است که تکه‌ای از آسمان را می‌بیند و به‌ اشتباه تصور می‌کند که می‌تواند همه‌ی آسمان را مشاهده کند. اما وقتی عظمت آسمان را می‌بیند، جهانش به‌ کلی تغییر می‌کند. صفحه ۱۳۱ کتاب
ما غالباً چنان سخت و محکم با عقاید خویش یکی می‌شویم که اگر این باورها مورد انتقاد قرار گیرند یا تصحیح شوند، احساس می‌کنیم خودمان مورد حمله قرار گرفته‌ایم. صفحه ۱۴۶ کتاب
عداوت آگاهی و هویت ما را شکل می‌دهد. کسانی که از آنها نفرت داریم، فکر ما را به خود مشغول می‌کنند، به شیوه‌ای منفی در ذهن ما منزل می‌گزینند، آنچنان که ما در قالب یک مراقبه غیر عادی در فکر فرو می‌رویم و بر خصایل بد آنها متمرکز می‌شویم. بدین‌ ترتیب، دشمن به همزاد ما بدل می‌شود، سایه‌ای از خودمان که به او شباهت داریم. ملت‌ها نیز احتمالاً نسبت‌ به مردمی که به آنها بی‌عدالتی کرده‌اند، عمیقاً احساس خصومت می‌کنند و احتمالا دشمن آنچنان در آگاهی و هویت ملی به عنصری اساسی تبدیل می‌شود که در واقع به خود ثانوی آنها بدل می‌گردد. صفحه ۱۸۳ کتاب

[Calista · Rating 3 out of 5]

Karen Armstrong is a fabulous researcher and she knows her world religions. She uses the major world religions and teachings to come up with 12 steps to becoming a more compassionate person. This is a lifelong process and you can't just read the book and be compassionate. This is a daily practice.

I am glad I read this book. The truths she reveals have the power to open your mind and they can be very helpful. The problem is that this was oh so dry. I mean it was crisp like the cracked desert floor. It was all mental and intellectual. I know you can put this into practice, but the delivery is super dry. For me, this book isn't going to convince me to do this, it is going to have to come from within.

Still, I think it's an important work and there are some other books by Karen that I do want to read. I mean she knows her religious histories. She understands each faith and what is at the heart of them. She said to really understand someone else's religion, you have to practice it. Spend a week saying their prayers and thinking about their culture and what they did. Even take a look at your own and look at the good and bad things your own culture does. I thought those were insightful ideas.

I did get a lot of of this book. I'm not sure it sparked me. I don't have a burning desire to do this after reading it. I do want to hear more about what she knows about history and where and how they all fit in together. That was pretty fascinating.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an inspiring look at ways to be more kind and compassionate in your life.

One of the things I especially appreciated about this book was how the author referenced the compassionate teachings in all of the major religions of the world, which gave it a universal feeling, a kind of global esprit de corps.

Each of the world religions has its own particular genius, its own special insight into the nature and requirements of compassion, and has something unique to teach us. By making room in your mind for other traditions, you are beginning to appreciate what many human beings, whatever their culture and beliefs, hold in common.

I've been meaning to read some of Karen Armstrong's work, and this was a good start. She has a fascinating background — a former member of the Catholic convent, now she's written numerous books about the history of religion and several different faiths. I listened to this on audio, which was lovingly read by Armstrong herself, and I'd recommend it to anyone interested in a kinder and more compassionate world.

[Sonya · Rating 2 out of 5]

كسي كه بي غرض است و منصف و آرام در حقيقت يك پناهگاه است.
يك انسان واقعا مشفق زخمه اي بر دل ما مي نوازد كه آكنده از طنين برخي از عميق ترين آرزوهاي ماست.
مردم گرد چنين شخصي جمع مي شوند زيرا در جهاني پر از خشونت و خشم مامني از ارامش در اختيار آنها قرار مي دهد.
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اين كتاب از دوازدم گام براي رسيدن به شفقت و همدلي انساني تشكيل شده است.

[David Glasgow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Karen Armstrong loves religious history, which is an invaluable trait for the author of a history textbook. Unfortunately what she's tried to write here is a self-help/devotional book, and the skill sets don't quite match up.

Good, true, and valuable pointers for compassionate living abound in this book. But to get to these gems I found myself slogging through example after example from diverse religious traditions and time periods that, while neither technically irrelevant nor wholly uninteresting, far outweighed Armstrong's attempts at contemporary relevance, both in number and in depth of analysis. (The next time my walled city is under seige by marauding archers, though, I'll know what spiritual practice to put into play.)

Armstrong recommends that, after reading the book cover-to-cover, I then spend time practicing each of the twelve steps in sequence before moving on to the next. Instead, I think I'll simply make a copy of the Table of Contents that lists the twelve steps, and post it where I will see it as I start my day.

[robin friedman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Twelve Steps To A Compassionate Life With Karen Armstrong

Karen Armstrong is a former Catholic nun who has written widely on religious issues. In 2007, Armstrong was awarded a substantial cash prize from a nonprofit organization known as TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) to promote ideas that could "make a difference" in people's lives. Armstrong opted to use the award to promote the development of compassion. She worked with religious leaders from a variety of traditions to formulate and develop a "Charter for Compassion" that would "restore compassion to the heart of religious and moral life." The Charter was unveiled in Washington, D.C. in December, 2009. It is also available on the web together with an invitation to readers to sign on to and try to realize its principles.

As part of her project, Armstrong also wrote this book "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" in which she explains the nature and importance of compassion and offers a 12-step plan for increasing the degree of compassion one achieves in one's own life. Armstrong begins with the Golden Rule in both its negative formulation: "Do not treat others as you would not like them to treat you"; and in its positive formulation: "Always treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself." As did the Jewish sage Hillel in a story Armstrong quotes when asked to explain succinctly the teachings of the Bible, Armstrong believes that "the rest is commentary" to be studied learned, and practiced.

Armstrong's short book shows a great deal of erudition as well as wisdom. She has studied and learned a great deal from many religious traditions, including Confucianism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. She presents complex material in an effective manner. But the scope of the learning in this book is much broader. Armstrong uses well philosophers beginning with Socrates and Plato, through the Greek-Jewish philosopher Philo and through the modern analytic philosophers Quine and Donald Davidson to say important things about the nature of wisdom and of human communication. She has a strong literary background which makes especial use of Homer and the Greek tragedians. And she begins with a naturalistic approach, making effective use of the contrast between the "reptilian brain" and its struggle for the "four F's" and the warm-blooded human brain. A thorough and excellent bibliography is the final indication of the thought and reading that Armstrong has put into this book.

With this background, it is unsurprising that the first of Armstrong's 12 steps towards increasing one's ability for compassion is to learn about it. She suggests reading and study, either by oneself of preferably in the company of other people representing different faith traditions (including secularism.) I was pleased to see this emphasis on study and the life of the mind, which tends to be unusual in books about spirituality.

In the remaining chapters, Armstrong develops a program based upon a concentric approach --- beginning with trying to understand and develop compassion towards oneself and then gradually developing outward until one is finally able to see the value of and to try to practice loving one's enemies. Armstrong offers good discussion, examples, and exercises for each step with the goal that her readers will take time on each single step before moving on to the next. The process is not difficult to state, but it is hard to realize. One must recognize one's own fallibility. From reading her programme, I believe that Buddhism has been the greatest influence upon Armstrong, as she makes extensive use of several Buddhist meditations and texts. I was reminded of many of the books by the Dalai Lama on the subject of compassion and toleration.

I have been attracted at different times in my life, sometimes simultaneously, to varying teachings of secularism, Buddhism, and the Judaism in which I was born. These traditions all have helped me, but the tension among them can make me uneasy with myself and sometimes with others. It is good to try work on oneself and one's own doubts and ambivalences to try to help understand and respect others.

I found this book helpful. There are times when Armstrong, to my mind, forgets her own broad principles of toleration, questioning, and understanding, and rushes to or advocates substantive positions on political, economic, or religious issues that seem to me dubious at best. Lessons of compassion are never fully learned.

Robin Friedman

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an important book. But it is a book which cannot simply be read to do any good. Caveat: I simply read it.

Before I go on, let me recommend that you get the book from a library and read it. If you decide that you want to actually work at being more compassionate, if you want to work at the twelve steps in your own life, then go ahead and purchase yourself a copy.

The book itself is a quick read; but it is meant to be read slowly. Each chapter (step) is supposed to be mastered before moving on to the next. That is kind of difficult when you have a copy from the library for four weeks.

As Armstrong writes in the conclusion ("A Last Word"):
It is rather a reminder that the attempt to become a compassionate human being is a lifelong project. IT is not achieved in an hour or a day--or even in twelve steps. It is a struggle that will last until our dying hour. … You will have to work at all twelve steps continuously for the rest of your life--learning more about compassion, surveying your world anew, struggling with self-hatred and discouragement. Never mind loving your enemies--sometimes loving your nearest and dearest selflessly and patiently will be a struggle! (191-2)

The author makes a good case for why we need more compassion in the world today, even though that claim should be self-evident. This project arose from the TED Prize that the author won in 2008. Besides the cash prize, recipients get a wish. Hers was for a Charter for Compassion, "written by leading thinkers from a variety of major faiths [which] would restore compassion to the heart of religious and moral life" (6).

http://charterforcompassion.org/site/

The six major faith traditions of Confucianism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam are used throughout the book to show how we may become more compassionate.

Armstrong shows how each of these major faiths were founded on compassion, how they each, among others, have all formulated some version of the Golden Rule. But the beauty of the book is in how religion does not matter. What matters are the ideas which underlie these faiths. This book is written and intended for the non-believer just as much as for the believer of any specific doctrine, whether of these six faith communities or any other.

As an agnostic (epistemically) and an atheist (commitment-wise), I quite enjoyed this book and Armstrong's approach. In fact, ancient Greek mythos and culture is used as much as any of the main faiths are.

This book would make a great selection for a committed book club, as it would for a campus reads program, or a first-year experience. In fact, a lengthy (one- or, preferably, two-semester), committed engagement with this book and the texts and doctrines and world views which surround it would be ideal. Many different approaches can and should be taken with the ideas presented.

One of her suggestions is to form a book group to go through the twill steps with, and suggestions are made throughout of possible issues for discussion.

In the end, it is up to ourselves as individuals to become more compassionate. But if Armstrong, and all of the major faiths and ethical systems are correct, by treating others with compassion we will change them too.

As Armstrong writes at the end of the preface ("Wish for a Better World"):
"I am in agreement with His Holiness the Dalai Lama that "whether a person is a religious believer does not matter much. Far more important is that they be a good human being." At their best, all religious, philosophical, and ethical traditions are based on the principle of compassion" (23-4).

Contents:

Preface: Wish for a Better World
The First Step: Learn About Compassion
The Second Step: Look at your Own World
The Third Step: Compassion for Yourself
The Fourth Step: Empathy
The Fifth Step: Mindfulness
The Sixth Step: Action
The Seventh Step: How Little We Know
The Eighth Step: How Should We Speak to One Another?
The Ninth Step: Concern for Everybody
The Tenth Step: Knowledge
The Eleventh Step: Recognition
The Twelfth Step: Love Your Enemies
A Last Word

As a companion to this book I would recommend Paul Woodruff's *Reverence: Renewing a Forgotten Virtue*

I read this book in January 2009 and my, sadly, short comments can be seen in item #10 at my Books Read in 2009 post

http://marklindner.info/blog/2009/12/...

[Zahra Zarrinfar · Rating 4 out of 5]

یک انسان واقعاً مشفق زخمه‌ای را بر تار دل ما می‌نوازد که آکنده از طنین برخی از عمیق‌ترین آرزوهای ماست. مردم گرد چنین شخصی جمع می‌شوند چرا که به نظر می‌رسد در جهانی پر از خشونت و خشم، مٲمنی از آرامش در اختیار ما قرار می‌دهد. این کمال مطلوب و آرمانی است که ما آرزویش را داریم و دستیابی به آن از ظرفیت ما خارج نیست. اما حتی اگر به کسری از این روشن‌یافتگی دست یابیم و اندکی دنیا را ترک گوییم. می‌توانیم ادعا کنیم زندگی‌مان ارزشمند بوده است.

کارن آرمسترانگ دین پژوه با استفاده از سنت‌های دینی و آیینی شرق تا غرب، این کتاب رو نوشته تا تمرینی برای تبدیل شدن به این انسان واقعاً مشفق باشد و به نظرم جدای از تمرین شفقت تمرین خوبی هم بود برای فاصله گرفتن از تعصب دینی و به قول نویسنده دین اگر تو را در وضعیت حیرت نگه دارد در بهترین حالت است و بدترین وضع آن زمانی است که اقتدار و جزمیت دارد.
من گام هفتم و هشتم این کتاب «دانسته‌ها ما چه اندک است» و «چگونه با دیگری سخن بگوییم» رو خیلی دوست داشتم چون تو این فصل‌ها به خوبی متوجه می‌شویم شفقت فقط یک بحث عاطفی نیست و تلاش شناختی هم برای این که تبدیل به انسان مشفقی بشویم لازم است.

این نوشته‌ای که در ادامه می‌ذارم رو قبلا توی کانالم حین خوندن این کتاب نوشته بودم این‌جا هم دوباره می‌ذارم:

دکتر مکری تو یکی از سخنرانی‌هایش اشاره کرده بود علوم‌انسانی مثل فیزیک نیست که وقتی آب سرد و گرم رو با هم ترکیب کنی آب ولرم به دست بیاری، ترکیب دیدگاه گرم با دیدگاه سرد، باعث می‌شود دیدگاه جوش و دیدگاه یخ داشته باشی.
توی کتاب از دل تو تا دل من کارن آرمسترانگ، یک فصلی درباره‌ی گفت‌وگو اختصاص دارد، نویسنده از تجربه‌ی شخصی خودش گفته بود که بعد از فاجعه‌ی یازده سپتامبر هنگامی که دیدگاه‌های کلیشه‌ای درباره‌ی اسلام رواج یافته بوده مقالاتی برای به چالش کشیدن این طرز تفکر نوشت؛ ولی بعدها دریافت که این کار نتیجه‌ی عکس داشته و تنها اتفاقی که افتاد این بود که به مقالاتش حمله شده بوده و عداوت بیشتر شد و فضا آلوده‌تر. و به قول دائوئیست‌ها ما غالبا چنان سخت با عقایدمان یکی می‌شویم که اگر آن‌ها مورد انتقاد قرار گیرند یا تصحیح شوند، انگار به خودمان حمله شده است.
اما راه‌حل چیست؟ این بار آرمسترانگ سراغ بودا می‌رود: شاید بهتر باشد از جایی شروع کنیم که مردم به راستی در آن قرار دارند، نه جایی که ما فکر می‌کنیم باید باشند. و به جای این که دیگران را به پذیرش دیدگاه خودمان واداریم، نیازمند این هستیم راهی برای طرح پرسش‌های سقراطی بیابیم که به بصیرت شخصی منتهی شود نه تکرار صرف واقعیت‌ها آن‌گونه که ما می‌بینیم.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Karen Armstrong's latest work, "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life," is a fascinating look at concepts of compassion across all of the world's major faiths -- and includes the concept that one need not be religious in order to have a compassionate viewpoint (something that many religious writers nowadays seem to ignore).

Armstrong starts with an overview of compassion as discussed in various religious writings from around the world and then shows twelve ways to incorporate the practice of compassion into life. She likens her book to the twelve steps of recovery, in that one should be familiar with all of the steps and then go back to step one as a starting place. Each step builds on the one previously as Armstrong demonstrates that even thinking differently about those we love is a beginning. She builds through thinking, speaking and acting differently toward those to whom we feel indifference or even active dislike.

At no point does Armstrong equate compassion to pity, because the two are not the same. Instead, she shows how compassion can be considered as simple kindness in thought, word and act. Nor does Armstrong suggest that this will automatically make you like someone whose actions disgust or disturb you, but instead she points out that it is possible to see where your "enemy" (for lack of a better term) has come from to reach the point where they are.

I enjoyed the book and have found myself re-examining some of my own viewpoints as a result of the reading. Highly recommended for those with a somewhat philosophical bent.

(Review based on uncorrected advance proof.)

[Erin Caldwell · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is brutal. I gave up in the middle.

It is titled "Twelve Steps to..." so I naturally thought it would be a book that helps individuals develop compassion in their everyday lives. Wrong. I was on disc 3 when I quit and had only been through one step, and I can't even tell you what that step was. I think it was "Practice compassion." Oh, ok. Thanks!

This woman is difficult to listen to and wants to talk about the history of every religion in the densest terms possible. No, thank you.

[Lon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Karen Armstrong brings to bear her sensibilities as a religious historian in this book. Don't mistake it for a new-agey self-help treatment of the subject of compassion; she dissects the subject like a scientist more than a sage. No holding hands around the campfire and singing Kumbayah. She turns to neuroscience to explain how we are hardwired for compassion--just as we are hardwired with the capacity for aggression--and identifies the biological imperatives for both self-preservation and empathy-fueled altruism.

She identifies the Golden Rule as the common thread running through all the major religions and calls for greater emphasis on compassion among devotees of the various faiths. In fact, while acknowledging that every religion has a history besmirched with violence, and that sometimes that violence was supposedly justified or rationalized through scripture, she posits that any interpretation of scriptures that justifies violence or mistreatment of others should be seen as illegitimate. Here's where her understanding of the three Abrahamic faiths comes in handy: she can disabuse us of the notion that Islam is inherently violent. She contextualizes the Koran well and also points out the many references that promote peace and compassion and non violence. Mohammed was way ahead of his time, in fact, by rejecting the tribalism that typified Arab culture. She looks at modern-day tribalism too, in the guise of politics, nationalism, and religious intolerance and the demonization of others. She laments that everyone doesn't learn about the traditions of others and find in them much that is good. Just as intellectual humility is a necessary ingredient to learning, a religious stance that other faiths have something admirable to offer can yield greater insights into one's own tradition. No where does Armstrong denigrate religious people, but she does inveigh against the fundamentalistic tendency to shout "I'm right, therefore you are all wrong and have nothing to offer."

A perfect encapsulation of my personal feelings about the beneficial role of doubt, and intellectual humility comes in one of the chapters on developing compassion by assuming we don't know everything. Since it's a library book, and I can't preserve these insights with highlighting, I've typed them to save for future consideration. Here I paste them in:

"The people who came to see Socrates usually thought that they knew what they were talking about, but after half an hour of his relentless questioning they discovered that they knew nothing at all about such basic issues as justice or courage. They felt perplexed, like bewildered children; the intellectual and moral foundations of their lives had been radically undermined, and they experienced a frightening, vertiginous doubt. For Socrates, that was the moment when a person became a philosopher, a "lover of wisdom," because he had become aware that he longed for greater insight, knew he did not have it, but would henceforth seek it as ardently as a lover pursues his beloved. . . .
"Socrates used to describe himself as a gadfly, stinging people to question every one of their ideas, especially those about which they felt certainty, so that they could wake up to a more accurate perception of themselves. Even though he was conversing with Socrates and others, each participant was also engaged in a dialogue with himself, subjecting his own deeply held opinions to rigorous scrutiny before, finally, as a result of the ruthless logic of Socrates' questioning, relinquishing them. You entered into a Socratic dialogue in order to change; the object of the exercise was to create a new, more authentic self. After they had realized that some of their deepest convictions were based on faulty foundations, Socrates' disciples could begin to live in a philosophical manner. But if they did not interrogate their most fundamental beliefs, they would live superficial, expedient lives, because "the unexamined life is not worth living." (Karen Armstrong, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, p.119-121)
How do we account for the aggressive drives as well as the capacity for compassionate? Armstrong cites neuro-scientific research to shed some light on the question:


The "old brain" or reptilian brain provided mechanisms for our survival "that neuroscientists have called the "Four F's": feeding, fighting, fleeing, and--for want of a more basic word--reproduction. These drives fanned out into fast-acting systems, alerting reptiles to compete pitilessly for food, to ward off any threat, to dominate their territory, seek a place of safety, and perpetuate their genes." These are neurological systems "located in the hypothalamus at the base of the brain, and it is thanks to them that are species survived. . . . Over the millennia, however, human beings also evolved a "new brain," the neocortex, home of the reasoning powers that enable us to reflect on the world and on ourselves, and to stan back from these instinctive, primitive passions.

"neuroscientists suggest that the "positive emotions of compassion, joy, serenity, and maternal affection did not emanate from the hypothalamus . . . but from the limbic system." Later refinements, suggested the dichotomy between the left and right brains. The right brain "emotes, weeps, responds to symbolism, and is the home of art, music, and the "softer," more "pliable" emotions. We are hardwired for compassion as well as for cruelty."

An interesting note. I thought this was really cool! Brains and Birth canals.
"The arrival of warm-blooded mammals led to the evolution of a brain that was able to care for others and thus help to ensure the survival of their young. At first this care was rudimentary and automatic; but over millennia, mammals began to build nests for their infants and learned to behave in a way that would ensure their health and development. For the first time, sentient beings were developing the capacity to protect, nurture, and nourish a creature other than themselves. Over millions of years, this strategy proved so successful in establishing genetic lineages that it led to the evolution of still more complex brain systems. The process seems to have been symbiotic. In order to accommodate these new skills, the brains of mammals got bigger; this meant that increasingly their young had to be born prematurely so that they could pass through the birth canal; the infants were, therefore, helpless and need the support, care, and protection not only of their parents but of the entire community. This was especially true of Homo sapiens, which had evolved an enormous brain. because his mother had no fur, the human baby could not cling to her; instead, she had to clasp and carry him for hours at a time, subordinating her own hunger, needs, and desires to his in a process that was no longer automatic but emotionally motivated and, to a degree, voluntary. But parental affection ensured the survival of the species, helped the young to thrive, and taught humans to develop other alliances and friendships that were extremely useful in the struggle for survival. Gradually they developed the capacity for altruism.
"When animals are not warding off threats or engrossed in the quest for food, they relax and become content. A soothing regulatory system takes over, balancing the systems that control the response to threat and hunger, so that they can take time out and allow their bodies to repaire themselves. It used to be thought that this quiescence was simply the result of the more aggressive drives zoning out, but is has now been found that this physical relaxation is also accompanied in both mammals and humans by profound and positive feelings of peace, security, and well-being. Produced initially by maternal soothing, these emotions are activated by such hormones as oxytocin, which induces a sense of closeness to others and plays a crucial role in the development of parental attachment. When human beings entered this peaceful state of mind, they were liberated from anxiety and could, therefore, think more clearly and have fresh insights; as they acquired new skills and had more leisure, some sought to reproduce this serenity in activities, disciplines, and rituals that were found to induce it." (Karen Armstrong, Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, p. 17-19)

[Beth Lind · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is so good and I learned a lot about the similarities of several religions. Basically - be kind. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Learning how is much harder than it seems. I like the idea of a compassion epidemic. We could all be a bit kinder. We could all stand to learn more about other people, other nationalities and other religions.

[Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book, but I'd hoped to love it. Perhaps I didn't spend enough time with it...of course, I didn't do the prescribed exercises...does anyone really do them all? Lovely ideas here, but I think I've lived in macho-posturing Texas too long to have any real hope that compassion will take hold of our people. I will press on with the exercises; one must try.

[Erika RS · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is yet another book that is good but disappointing because it did not live up to my expectations.

I am a big fan of Karen Armstrong. Although she is selective in what she chooses to focus on in her writing, she is still, in my opinion, one of the best religious historians when it comes to writing books that are readable, compassionate, intellectually challenging, and jam packed with information.

Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life is, quite intentionally, a very different type of book. It is supposed to be a guide to implementing the ideas in the Charter for Compassion [1] championed by Armstrong. However, Armstrong, the religious historian, seems to have a difficult time communicating the practical.

The book is full of great elements that just don't quite add up to a coherent text. In ~200 pages, Armstrong tries to cover a survey of compassion in different religious traditions, a philosophical discussion of what compassion is and why it is necessary, and a practical plan for increasing the compassion in your life. These threads all get jumbled up, and that makes it hard to pull the value from that book.

In what is both disappointing and supportive of the book's overall value, a lot of the problems were merely organizational. A strong editor who encouraged the use of things like section breaks and parallel structure could have transformed this from an average book to a great book.

All that said, the real value of this book is in practice, not intellectual assent. Armstrong's steps, if applied with appropriate effort, do seem like they would result in a more compassionate self.

The steps do not stand on their own, but for completeness I will list them anyway. Note that some of the steps are sequential while others are not -- this was one of my organizational quibbles with the book (also, the very names of the steps show how much the book could have been improved by an editor with an eye for structure and consistency). The steps: (1) learn about compassion, (2) look at your own world, (3) compassion for yourself, (4) empathy, (5) mindfulness, (6) action, (7) how little we know, (8) how should we speak to one another?, (9) concern for everybody, (10) knowledge, (11) recognition, (12) love your enemies.

And now, it's time to go apply some compassion!

[1] http://charterforcompassion.org/share...

[William2 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book a lot. In it religious historian Karen Armstrong suggests a series of simple and easily achieved mental exercises that can help one increase one's capacity for compassion. Armstrong offers justification for these exercises by way of copious examples from the history of religion. Some of the examples I was familiar with from her longer and more detailed The Great Transformation, about religious development during what is known as the Axial Age (900-200 BC), though the impetus here is on personal transformation. Basically, and I don't mean to be reductive for the book is filled with intellectual riches, but the two key lessons here are, first, The Golden Rule -- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you -- and second, the discipline of mindfulness, which I know from my Buddhist studies but which has parallels across the religious spectrum. The book seeks to be practical. Armstrong's great gift is for showing how religions agree on certain principals across cultures and broad spans of time. She then prescribes simple exercises for instilling these helpful habits into one's daily life. It's really rather wonderful. I think, however, that the exercises themselves might have been set out typographically because they tend to get buried in the text. But this is a quibble. Highly recommended.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every major religious tradition in the world contains some version of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you, or, more simply, treat other people as you want to be treated. We're all familiar with the saying, but how often do we see the Golden Rule in action?

When Karen Armstrong, whose expertise is in comparative religion, received a TED grant to develop an "idea worth spreading", her thoughts turned to this simple idea.

The title is a bit disarming. Those expecting a saccharine self-help book, be warned. There are no steps toward achieving "success", fame, fortune, or "your best life" described in these pages. Quite the opposite: she reminds us that the major religious and philosophical traditions of the world have consistently told us that the ego is the root cause of our suffering. To become the change we want to see in the world, we have to let go of the me-first instinct.

The discussion goes both broad and deep. She recommends Socratic questioning as a method of reminding ourselves, all day and every day, that we really do not know what we think we know about other people, other faiths, other nations. This is more than a book to be read once. It's a book to be returned to, time and again.

[Scott Lupo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, I picked this book after hearing the author on a TED video speaking about the Golden Rule. Specifically, how to change the Golden Rule from the usual "Do unto others" to "Do not do to others what you wouldn't want done to you." There are many religious examples and overtones (all types of religions by the way) and her message is extremely thoughtful, inspiring, and relevant in today's global climate. I am not a religious person at all but I found her thoughts on compassion (or lack thereof) very compelling. Where is the compassion today? How do we overcome the prevailing egotism and selfishness that pervades the world we live in? Can we defeat the "me first, screw everybody else" attitude? I give her credit for trying!

[Sue Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, after taking my time to come back to set down afew thoughts about this book I'm finding it hard to put into words - thought provoking, meaningful, incisive, carefully and deliberately structured words. It's not that the book doesn't invoke them, it's just that I can probably sum it up in a couple of sentences and that just seems - well - unjust.

However, that being the case, it pretty much sums up the book. It's an awful lot of words that really didn't need to be in a book format when much fewer words would have sufficed. Or, at least, it should have been retitled to indicate the truth of the book, as it read more like a historical investigation into the concept of compassion as opposed to a 12 step handy guide to how to apply principles to become more compassionate. Personal pet peeve, that.

Don't get me wrong here, I trully believe that many wrongs can be righted and many misunderstandings can be avoided by the simple act of compassion. If more parents understood the philosophy behind it and then taught the basic tenets to their offspring, the world would be a peaceful place to live in and we wouldn't live with the constant worry of being annihilated. Unfortuately, compassion in our world doesn't have a firm footing and common sense isn't so common. And we live in a world where there's too much finger pointing at everyone else being the cause of the grief instead of looking within ourselves to stop the madness.

Because the interesting thing about compassion is that it starts within ourselves. The underlying premise of it is to treat others how you would like to be treated. It's the basic foundation of ALL religions but it's a life style that all people can follow - religious or not. You don't have to be a firm religious individual to think whether or not you would like it if someone treated you like a dope, or like you're second class, or with disdain. Or if you like to be cheated from something, or ignored or physically hurt. Ultimately, religion has nothing to do with it. It's not WWJD it's What Would I Do? How Would I Feel? A much easier philosophy to grasp in our 'me first' western world.

So the concept of the book is great. It's really about understanding that everyone can make a difference simply by stopping and thinking first before action. Small steps. But a pebble thrown in a pond has a ripple effect and actions do too. My other favorite part of the 'steps' was the call to become aware that other's percieved differences are only because you don't know the whole story. So make yourself aware. Educate yourself. There's always two sides to a story. And that's a premise that fits mankind, beyond the confines of religion and race.

[Judy Croome · Rating 3 out of 5]

A well-structured and systematic programme encouraging people of all faiths to practice conscious compassion in the same way we would learn any new skill. Armstrong’s belief that humanity has an innate capacity for goodness, which can override the baser instincts of the “crocodile brain” is reassuring. Her twelve steps provide a simple enough guide and, based on Socratic dialogue, ask questions that challenge the reader’s known perceptions.

Containing what seems like common sense to people who have already struggled with the concept of forgiveness and compassion this book will be a good place to start if one is just beginning the journey of enlightened (or compassionate) living.

Although she touches briefly on the need to apply the Golden Rule (to love our neighbour as we love ourselves) in families and neighbourhoods, the focus was more on the universal than the personal. Given Armstrong’s background as a strong advocate of interfaith dialogue, this is understandable, but I would have gained more if there’d been deeper discussion on the challenges of living a compassionate life in my ordinary day-to-day existence before I start worrying about healing breaches with people across the oceans. Yes, we live in a global village, but as Armstrong herself points out, compassion has to start at the very centre of our personal lives before it can spread to the outer reaches of the larger world we live in.

Still, any book that emphasises the need for love and compassion in our current world is a worthwhile read. I turned the last page feeling more hopeful for the souls of the human race than I have in a long time

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

As thorough and well presented as the rest of Karen Armstrong's work, this is in many ways the practical application of her conclusions following the years of in- depth investigation into the major faiths of the world. The central message is simple - the Golden Rule (love your neighbour as yourself) is the key to the good life but we need to take steps to apply it thoroughly in our lives. It was occasionally presented as rocket science when thinking people of faith are quite capable of reaching this conclusion themselves, and also as some new all-embracing approach when actually what is described is standard orthopraxy across the faiths. I was disappointed that so much of the terminology and practice was Buddhist when the point I thought the author was making was that we need to recognise the goodness and rightness of the 'compassionate life' in all the main faiths and work together to bring it about in the lives of individuals, communities and nations. Overall it is hard to be negative about a book that tells us the world would be a better place if we looked out for one another rather than focusing on ourselves all the time.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Karen Armstrong is an intellectual theologian, with past experience as a Catholic nun. The Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life book heavily references Eastern philosophical and religious tradition, no doubt as one Eastern religious tradition's fundamentalist renegade group is in current conflict with some Western industrial superpower nations. Armstrong enumerates and describes each of the twelve steps toward a compassionate life imagining her audience is of primarily Western civilization and familiar with Christian doctrine and ethos, challenging us to recognize, identify and empathize with the "other" to resolve conflict. Some people struggle to share the perspective of other belief systems that seem comparatively limiting of certain people's rights, and Karen Armstrong, although no doubt aware of that crevasse, doesn't specifically offer any strategies. What she has supplied in an appendix is a list of suggested readings, to gain familiarity with other major belief traditions that in her opinion could benefit from greater understanding.

[LL · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful message! I learned a great deal about the true concept of compassion; Karen Armstrong spends time describing the central tenet of the Golden Rule and how it actually appears in all major religious traditions, rather than just telling us to to be nice to people. It seemed like a special emphasis was placed on Buddhism and Christianity, but that was fine by me; the Buddha and Jesus Christ were the two religious figures who spoke most explicitly about the Golden Rule as we know it. I also loved that she included literary references (e.g. Hamlet and the Iliad) to illustrate some of her points. The exploration of the Golden Rule's roots across religious and cultural boundaries was really very affirming and beautiful. I look forward to re-reading it and making a sincere effort to implement each and every step into my life. I recommend this book to anyone and everyone who aspires to kinder and more open-minded.

[AJW · Rating 3 out of 5]

I could point out the things I disagreed with in this book, but in the spirit of compassion as advocated by this book, I'd rather point out the things I liked. I liked the generosity of spirit in which Karen Armstrong writes. I liked learning about religious traditions other than my own. I liked Karen Armstrong overall argument that true religion is actually about increasing our ability to love and control the destructive parts of our makeup. So many unthinking people have a knee jerk reaction of blaming religion for all the world's problems, when if they thought a little more deeply, they'd realise that this wasn't an accurate assessment. Karen Armstrong shows that the founders of the world's major religions such as Buddha and Jesus were concerned to bring peace and love into an angry and fearful world. Using modern psychological insights and neuroscience research, she shows how traditional religious practice can help to spread compassion and healing.

[Jaci · Rating 4 out of 5]

Karen Armstrong advocates for expanding our sense of compassion for others in a short, succinct, heavily researched and documented 12-step program. Karen left religious orders and has focused on religion from a nondenominational viewpoint, culminating in the Charter for Compassion (www.charterforcompassion.org).
p.23: "But it is important to say that the twelve-step program does not depend on supernatural or credal convictions."
p.105: "As we practice the Immeasurables, we are bound to become aware of the selfishness that impedes our compassionate outreach, balks at the thought of extending friendship to an enemy, and rebels against the idea that 'I' am neither unique nor exempt from life's ills."
p.152: "We are what we are because of the hard work, insights, and achievements of countless others."

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

My struggle with Christianity, and with structured religion of any kind, has been ongoing for my entire adult life. I discovered Karen Armstrong on my first day of college while exploring the campus bookstore for the first time, and I have been a fan ever since.

Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life (and the Contract she mentions), is a reminder that the reasons for religion were to teach humanity how to treat one another.

There is more to life than struggling through each day alone, and one way to do that is to become more aware and more compassionate. Karen Armstong has given us all a way to reach this realization, if only we can make ourselves commit to it.

[Jeff Brateman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was able to plow my way through the religion to get to the meat of the Golden Rule. In understanding compassion, we first need to understand our thought patterns, and how they affect ourselves, others, and society at large. Also, the best lesson is that this is not a self-help book where you magically show compassion. Rather, it is one in which shows you the road you must walk, but warns against its length and difficulty. This was really helpful for me to learn and practice opening my eyes to others' experiences, pain, and goals. We are all truly different, and I can never hope to understand it. I just need to respect it and move forward.

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would you like to expand you vision of what compassion can be? Are you willing to open yourself to learning more about world religions? This is an amazing books which truly explores how to become more compassionate in a world that can encourage exactly the opposite. She is honest about how religions themselves sometimes add to the problem
of lack of compassionate. I highly recommend this book.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought the steps were right on the money, but this is the second book I've attempted by her and I've come to realize I just don't like Armstrong's writing. In my opinion, she has a singular talent for taking fascinating topics and making them incredibly dull. Hmm, it's probably not very compassionate of me to say that...

[Peggy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Why do I like some Karen Armstrong books a lot before I read them, but less after? This is one of those.... sorry, it's full of good stuff, but the style of delivery here is a wee bit preachy somehow, and a little too erudite for me-- hard to follow some of the Greek mythological and poetic allusions.