A Little Gold Book of Ghastly Stuff

Little Book Series I

by Neil Gaiman

"Before You Read This" (first published as Todd Klein print)
"Featherquest" (first published in Imagine #14)
"Jerusalem" (first broadcast by BBC Radio 4)
"Feminine Endings" (first published in Four Letter Word)
"Orange" (first published in The Starry Rift)
"Orphee" (first published in Orphee (CD))
"Ghosts in the Machines" (first published in The New York Times[3])
"The Annotated Brothers Grimm: Grimmer Than You Thought" (first published in The New York Times[4])
"Black House" (first published in The Washington Post)
"Summerland" (first published in The Washington Post)
"The View from the Cheap Seats" (first published in The Guardian[5])
"Once Upon a Time" (first published in The Guardian[6])
"Introduction to Hothouse" (first published in Hothouse)
"Entitlement Issues" (first published at Neil Gaiman's Blog[7]))
"Freedom of Icky Speech" (first published at Neil Gaiman's blog[8]))
"Harvey Awards Speech 2004" (first published at Neil Gaiman's blog[9]))
"Nebula Award Speech 2005" (first published at Neil Gaiman's blog[10]))
"Conjunctions" (first published in Mythic Delirium #20)

Genres: Fantasy, Short Stories, Fiction, Ebooks, Anthologies, Essays, Poetry

158 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2011

Reviews

[Quinn Daley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Neil Gaiman describes this as his "b-sides collection" and that's exactly how it feels. It contains a strange collection ranging from his first ever published (and pretty awful) story through to an article about freedom of speech and speeches he's delivered. There are some real gems in here, though, and it gives an insight into the working's of Neil Gaiman's brain in a way that other more sanitized collections don't. Worth reading, but for fans only.

[Kelly Furniss · Rating 4 out of 5]

I obtained this through Humble Bundle as part of Neil Gaiman's rare works. It's a real collection of random essays and short stories that any fan would enjoy. You get to delve in to Neil's personal life and thoughts too with his inclusion of the Dresden Dolls essay. A good chunky read it's informative, funny with good story telling. Four stars from me!.

[Carl · Rating 4 out of 5]

A ghastly number of typos for a limited edition, but there were some nice B-sides to enjoy here.

[Tanya]

I bought a whole bunch of Neil rarities through Humble Bundle, and this was the first one I picked out. I hope the rest is much better from a purely technical standpoint, since this was riddled with typos and one of the nonfiction pieces even cut out mid-sentence...

That aside, this was pretty much split 50:50 in short stories/poetry and nonfiction pieces such as introductions to other works, award speeches, and blog entries. Not all of this can really be considered hard to come by anymore: Three of the short stories (the better ones) have since been collected in his most recent short story collection, Trigger Warning, and I had also already read/heard three of the non-fiction pieces (one was featured in An Evening With Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer, two others were posted on his blog. I hadn't read The View From the Cheap Seats at this time yet, but some of these are collected in that non-fiction collection as well).

There isn't all that much golden stuff in here, but also nothing truly ghastly. Feminine Endings remains one of my favorite things he's ever written, it's delightfully creepy, and I ended up liking the other two stories better than the first time I read them, too. All in all, this is a pretty average collection of b-sides, something for the die-hard fans.

Before you Read this: ★★★
Featherquest: ★★★½
Jerusalem: ★★★★
Feminine Endings: ★★★★★
Orange: ★★½
Orphee: ★★★
Ghosts in the Machines: ★★★
The Annotated Brothers Grimm: ★★
The View from the Cheap Seats: ★★★★★
Once Upon a Time: ★★★
Dresden Dolls: ★★★
Introduction to Hothouse by Brian Aldiss: ★ (because it cut out midsentence)
Entitlement Issues: ★★★★★
Why Defend Freedom of Icky Speech: ★★★
Harvey Awards Speech: ★★★
Nebula Awards Speech: ★★★
Conjunctions: ★★★★

[Serena · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's of interest to listen to Orpheus Underground if having read "Orphee"; I much enjoyed Music Matters: The Orpheus myth. as well. Although the connection between Jesus (that is his "The Harrowing of Hell" hinted in some texts) and the Christian connection and use of Orpheus seems to be a obvious/Eurydice blind spot.

[Clair · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a mix of short stories and exerts from Neil Gaimen I got as part of the humble bundle. Two of the tales were OK but overall it did not impress me. I expect it would appeal to real fans of the author who want to read more by him.

[Lila Lockhart · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of these stories were charming and new to me. Others are old and familiar, like a well-loved warm blanket. All of them carried the spark that so often shines through in Neil's writing.

A nice collection for anyone who is a fan of Neil's short stories and essays.

[Dev · Rating 4 out of 5]

i got this from a humble bundle and was kind of worried it wasn't all going to flow together because at first it just seemed like a really weird random jumble of stuff he threw together. and i guess that IS what it is but it's still really enjoyable and still flows very well somehow. also i got to read the sentence "George R.R. Martin is not your bitch" straight from neil's keyboard to my screen, so that was amazing. also i got a bunch of book recs out of it, which is always a plus.

[Storm · Rating 3 out of 5]

This rare collection of Gaiman's B-sides and rarities. The edition I read did not include some of the stories, which I still need to find. including the following:-


■ Introduction - 2⭐ - Gaiman gives us some history on the genesis and background of the short stories in this collection. He considers some of these his B-sides (old school reference to the other side of a vinyl record's A-side single, which is the song people buy the record for).
■ Before You Read This - 3⭐ - Witty short poem, this paragraph put a smile on my face. "Before you read this remember: Do not read these words in order. Make your path. Start in the middle. End at the beginning.
■ Featherquest - 2⭐ - Gaiman's first professional sale, to Imagine Magazine. Coming of age story of a boy who embarks on a quest based on a dream visitation by a Djinn. It's a simple story, derivative and yet has an interesting ending. Gaiman has grown a lot as an author since.
■ Jerusalem - 3⭐ - A Jerusalem Syndrome story. Yes, it is a real thing.
■ Feminine Endings - 3⭐ - Creepy love letter from a strange stalker.
■ Orange - 1⭐ - Self tanning disaster story.
■ Orphee - 2⭐ - The would be musings of Orpheus, written as liner notes for Projekt's Orpheus CD, for Kathy Acker.
■ Ghosts in the Machines - 3⭐ - You read a blog about someone suicidal, find out they died, but they're still replying on the blog, except the next time you look the site is no longer there. Gives a whole new meaning to the Ghost in the Machine. Literally.
■ The Annotated Brothers Grimm: Grimmer Than You Thought - 3⭐ - The unvarnished truth behind the collectors of tales that, after editing and "polishing" end up as PG-13 type fairy tales.
■ Black House - ⭐ - Gaiman review of Black House (not in this edition)
■ Summerland - ⭐ - Gaiman review of Summerland (not in this edition)
■ The View from the Cheap Seats - 3⭐ - Funny every man type musings from that time Neil Gaiman attended the Oscars. Also in The View from the Cheap Seats: Selected Nonfiction
■ Once Upon a Time - 3⭐ - Fairy tales were for adults and only consigned to children when the adults grew tired of it and it became unfashionable. Gives some background of Neil Gaiman's thoughts when he longed for an old fashioned fairy tale so much he ended up writing Stardust.
■ Dresden Dolls - 4⭐ - Amanda Palmer, Gaiman's wife, is one half of The Dresden Dolls that went on hiatus shortly before she met Gaiman. This is a very personal look at the band and the last few lines of this short story say more about the relationships than most books reveal.
■ Introduction to Hothouse - 2⭐ - Gaiman writes the introduction to Brian Aldiss's Hothouse, extolling Aldiss's career as author of many genres, critic and poet.
■ Entitlement Issues - 5⭐ - A fan writes to Gaiman's blog asking for his insight on George R.R. Martin STILL not having written the next book in the very famous and hotly anticipated A Song Of Ice And Fire series. Gaiman's defense of GRRM is blunt and to the point "George R.R. Martin is not your bitch." and following up with "People are not machines. Writers and artists aren’t machines." We all want more stories, but authors create at their own pace. It's better to have a good book from a contented author than formulaic things put out to meet a deadline that won't satisfy anyone. A great, great essay and an example of superlative writing.
■ Freedom of Icky Speech - 4⭐ - Another blog entry this a response to whether Lolicon should be defended. And Gaiman persuasively says freedom of speech means defending the indefensible. If it applies, everyone should be protected, including the speech most people consider vile and hate. Because if you don’t stand up for the stuff you don’t like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you’ve already lost.
■ Harvey Awards Speech 2004 - 4⭐ - Celebrating Harvey Kurtzman at the Harvey Awards speech, relating personal anecdotes and the oversized influence Harvey had not just on Gaiman, but on comics, budding authors and the field.
■ Nebula Award Speech 2005 - 3⭐ - Celebrating the Nebulas and what they really mean.
■ Conjunctions - 4⭐ - A short poem, strong on imagery both of words and by words. Genius, and disturbing on a visceral level.

[Sara Dee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really fun. Starts with his first published work...which is pretty gawd awful...haha!!! The rest are collections of tales and real life experiences as well as speechesand his blog. it's a must for any Gaiman fan

[Marcus · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a small collection of short stories, poems, essays, and speeches from Gaiman. Quick thoughts about some of the material:

"Featherquest" - in the introduction, Gaiman explains that this is the first story he had published, that he has not edited it since or had it collected in any other work, and that almost none of it sounds like himself. He isn't wrong, and it's pretty much unreadable; I skipped it about halfway through.
"Feminine Endings" - very creepy. Very much inspired by a story from Edogawa Rampo about a chair, feel free to look that up.
"Orange" - I quite liked this one. It's written entirely as a response to a questionnaire you never get to read, and it's strange and amusing.
"Ghosts in the Machines" - Content warning: suicide. Sort of a mix of Gaiman's thoughts about horror stories and a couple of very short little horror stories. Not really anything exceptional.
"Entitlement Issues" - I have a few thoughts on this and I'll put them at the end. I don't agree, basically.
"Why Defend Freedom of Icky Speech?" - Content warning: csa, sa. This tackles a pretty thorny issue, namely the First Amendment and how it might apply to things like lolicon. Neil takes a firm stance on "freedom of all speech" while making it clear that some speech is harmful and he doesn't approve of it. I can't say I've got such a well-defined take on the matter, but I think it's important to note that you aren't necessarily allowed to make harmful speech, such as the classic example of shouting "fire" in a crowd, and there are good reasons for that. This type of material is certainly harmful to some people, and both the intent of the author and the actual harm it causes should be taken into account.
"Nebula Award Speech" - I don't find most speeches I've read particularly interesting, and this is no exception. Good for trivia fans I suppose.
"Conjunctions" - short poem. very strange. I liked it. Good imagery.

Okay, so, in "Entitlement Issues" the pull quote generally is "George R. R. Martin is not your bitch." Pretty rude word choice there. The thrust of his argument is that people should stop complaining about Martin and Rothfuss taking forever to write their next book and instead choosing to live their lives. The other notable quotes that summarize this essay:

"You're complaining about George doing other things than writing the books you want to read as if your buying the first book in the series was a contract with him: that you would pay over your ten dollars, and George for his part would spend every waking hour until the series was done, writing the rest of the books for you. No such contract existed. You were paying your ten dollars for the book you were reading, and I assume that you enjoyed it because you want to know what happens next."

"...the simple and unanswerable truth: George R. R. Martin is not working for you."

First off, Gaiman immediately throws out a strawman argument regarding "every waking hour". Reasonable people don't expect that. They can, however, expect to pay their ten dollars for a book with "Part One" on the cover because there will be a forthcoming "Part Two". If the bookstore who sold that book to you had ripped it in half and told you you could come back for the other half in a few years, maybe, you wouldn't buy that book. Paying for part of a series is an act of good faith on the reader's part and, yes, a social contract on the part of the author that says "invest in me now and you will be rewarded later." Readers typically understand that books take as long as they take, but in the case of these particular authors the release dates are frequently dangled in front of their audience and then pulled away. Not fulfilling that particular social contract is a good way to get readers to stop buying series until they're done, and publishers won't release books no one is paying for.

Brandon Sanderson is probably the best example of how to do this. He has a progress bar on his site, and he regularly updates it, and as a result very very few people give him hell over when the next book is coming out when he writes a personal blog. I think if people felt like anything was getting done for Martin or Rothfuss's next book, they wouldn't have nearly so many complaints, and I think that Gaiman is being a bit oblivious when he says that Martin doesn't work for us. Who does he work for then? Why publish at all if it's merely about personal satisfaction? Why have a team of publishers work to convince people to buy his books?

To sum up about the actual book, I got it as part of a Humble Bundle purchase (which may be the only way to get it, as far as I know), and frankly I wouldn't have felt good about spending more than a couple of dollars on it as a work by itself.

[A.M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Featherquest is a story about a young man who knows better than to ignore his dreams, and it starts thusly:

This is a tale they tell in ancient Khem, late at night when the fires are low and the candles are liquefying in their sticks; in Derana they tell it and the Tromilly; sailors tell it on the long passage down the River Xyths, that does not flow into the sea; the folk of the small islands of Andar, Vandar, Sandar and Giff also know of it, but in Kharan they do not know it, and in Fasstiarelle of the sleepy towers they only tell it in odd-numbered months. In the marshes of Fogpool, where tax-collectors fear to tread they tell it, and in Scryrrh it is told in the market places, by old men. They do not tell it in the city of Lost Carnadine, though I have spoken to one who claimed to have seen it written in a garbled from upon the walls of a public convenience in that remarkable city.

I can’t work out if it’s a riff on The Alchemist, but it certainly feels like one. I guess it’s a common story trope.

‘Jerusalem’

“Come to Jerusalem and go mad,” said Morris. “Not much of an advertising slogan.” Their guide looked at him sternly. “It is,” she said, with what Morris thought might actually be pride, “the only location-specific mental illness. And it is the only easily curable mental illness. You know what the cure is?” (Kindle Locations 494-497)

Sometimes holidays have odd consequences.

A love letter to Amanda Palmer who was a living statue.

‘Orange’ is answers to questions we don’t have.
Ooh I love that kind of thing.

‘Ghosts in the machines’
Tech horror stories.

And then there was the one who said, in her cellphone’s voicemail message, sounding amused as she said it, that she was afraid she had been murdered, but to leave a message and she would get back to us. (Kindle Locations 840-841).

She has been… and she does.

His version of the Oscars was interesting having read Anna Kendrick’s own experience recently. I’m fairly certain that if I ever get invited to such an event I will politely decline. [there’s one for the bucket list: turn down an Oscar invitation… lol]

Neil writes about the Dresden Dolls reunion… yeah.

‘An intro for a Brian Aldiss volume.’
I need to read more Aldiss.

‘Entitlement’
Best summarised as George RR Martin is not your bitch.

‘Why defend freedom of Icky speech?’

You ask, What makes it worth defending? and the only answer I can give is this: Freedom to write, freedom to read, freedom to own material that you believe is worth defending means you’re going to have to stand up for stuff you don’t believe is worth defending, even stuff you find actively distasteful, because laws are big blunt instruments that do not differentiate between what you like and what you don’t, because prosecutors are humans and bear grudges and fight for re-election, because one person’s obscenity is another person’s art.
Because if you don’t stand up for the stuff you don’t like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you’ve already lost. (Kindle Locations 1474-1478).

And the Make Good Art speech.
It’s amazing.

5 star - it was amazing

[Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, apparently there's an entire "Little ... Book" series published by Borderlands Press, each featuring hard-to-find stories and other original content from a variety of authors. I wasn't aware of it until I did a little research into this book, which surprises me, since I used to be an avid follower of Borderlands Press. Now most of them are out of print, which is a shame. I'm glad I was able to read this as an ebook, though, since I doubt I would have spent what the secondary market is asking for this volume.

A Little Gold Book of Ghastly Stuff is a "B-Sides and Rarities" collection of Gaiman material, ranging from fiction to poetry to nonfiction, some of which is hard to find. It's a bit of a mixed bag, though, which is about what one would expect from such a collection. Luckily, there's more good than mediocre, and more mediocre than bad.

The collection opens with a poem titled "Before You Read This", which is appropriate, even though I'm not a big fan of poetry. It sets the stage for what's to come.

"Featherquest", the first story in the collection, was Gaiman's first published story, and ... well, it shows. It hints at the kind of style Gaiman would grow comfortable with, and touches on his unique blend of humanity and myth, but it was overlong and, frankly, a bit boring. By the end, I was eager to see how it would wrap up, and it did so too quickly, and without much of a conclusion. It's probably Gaiman's equivalent of Y Kant Tori Read, since reading it shows you how his talent would develop, but you don't necessarily want to experience it again.

The next three stories -- "Jerusalem", "Feminine Endings", and "Orange" -- were published in Trigger Warning, but like most short stories, I got a little bit more out of them than I did the first time. Of particular note is that the Jerusalem Syndrome described in "Jerusalem" is a real thing.

Next is a brief story called "Orphee", about Orpheus, about whom Gaiman has written before. This seemed to have a twist to it, but I kept getting distracted by his use of Orpheus in Sandman, and kept picturing the scene of his beheading. I wish I could have dismissed it so I could have appreciated the story more.

"Ghosts in the Machine" struck me as an autobiographical piece, but given the way Gaiman threw in some nifty ideas for ghost stories, I'm not so sure now. I wish he'd write stories about those ideas, though.

The next piece is "Grimmer Than You Thought", an introduction to an annotated edition of the Brothers Grimm's stories. It has some astute observations on fairy tales (Gaiman), but I can't help but feel like it would be better read with the book it introduced. It pairs well with "Once Upon a Time", an essay on fairy tales that follows.

Following those pieces is one called "Dresden Dolls", which is about Amanda Palmer, Gaiman's wife. She was half of a musical group called the Dresden Dolls, and Gaiman writes about a reunion show, and all the good and bad that comes along with being in a musical group, and what a reunion means. It's touching and revealing at the same time.

Next is the introduction to a book titled Hothouse by Brian Aldiss, an author I've never read. The introduction is one of those that assumes the reader already knows a lot about the book he's about to read, which can be annoying in a spoilery way, but luckily it stops right at the point where Gaiman starts going into a lot of detail. Unluckily, this is because the piece just cuts off in the middle of a sentence.

"Entitlement Issues" follows, which is Gaiman's infamous "George R.R. Martin Is Not Your Bitch" piece from his blog. It's an important piece, not just for Martin fans, but for anyone who get embroiled in an ongoing series and feels some sort of entitlement to future books. You can even read it here, in just a few minutes.

The next piece is also from Gaiman's blog, and is entitled "Freedom of Icky Speech", which is an appeal for exactly what it says. It's an intelligent, reasoned musing on why censorship is wrong, even for things with which we don't agree. You can also read this one online, though it may take longer than just a few minutes.

Following are two speeches Gaiman gave, one at the 2004 Harvey Awards (which is a nice examination of comics and their importance), another at the 2005 Nebula Awards (which examines science fiction and its importance). Then the volume concludes with another piece of poetry called "Conjunctions". I like that Gaiman bookends this collection with poetry, though I can't say I thought much about either.

I purchased this book through a StoryBundle (a fantastic pay-what-you-want bundle of ebooks that contributes to charities), so I read the ebook version of this book, and it's full of typos and other printing errors. There were several per page, enough so that it became distracting. I paid a lot less for this book (and a lot more to boot) than I would have had I bought a print copy, but I still expect the conversions to be good. The number of errors was inexcusable. Plus, the ebook version of the book appears to be missing two pieces (reviews of Black House and Summerland, apparently), and includes one that may not have been in the print edition ("Dresden Dolls").

Overall, I'm glad I had the chance to read this material, since I'm a Gaiman completionist. Had I paid a lot of money for it, I might have felt differently, but I appreciate that Gaiman chooses to make this available to folks, even if it's for a limited time (I'm not sure how available it is outside of that StoryBundle). I wouldn't recommend it to casual readers, or to Gaiman readers who aren't the kinds of fans who want to read everything he wrote, but if you are that kind of fan, it's worth tracking down.

[Nicholas Whyte · Rating 4 out of 5]

https://nwhyte.livejournal.com/3841491.html

A collection of mostly minor stories, essays and speeches by Gaiman, including his first ever fiction publication in Imagine issue 14, which came out in May 1984, so I must have bought it at the time without realising its historical importance. A couple of these were already familiar to me, including the famous George R.R. Martin is not your bitch blogpost which I saw when it was first published. There were a surprising number of typos (especially in that first story). Can be safely skipped.

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think it's reasonable to describe this as a "mixed bag." I got a copy of this through a Neil Gaiman Humble Bundle some years ago. There are a few bits in here that I really enjoyed, and a few that I just skimmed and didn't get much out of. If you're a Gaiman fan, and you've got a copy of this from that bundle, it's worth at least skimming through it. But it's probably not worth seeking out a copy, if you're not a Gaiman completist.

[Andy Luke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Odds and ends collection: academic; highly personal; advice and jokes. It's a mixed bag, with early stuff in need of an editor and later trinkets from hard to chase down Gaiman memorabilia. Short, just the right length and quality for a browse when commuting.

[Ruben Steins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Weird collection of b-sides with a few gems. I really loved 'Freedom of icky speech': "Because if you don't stand up for the stuff you don't like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you've already lost."

[Melissa Jacobson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual rating 3.5

This is a collection of some of Gaiman's wackier stories, the ones that didn't quite fit. Unfortunately, while some of the stories were great the overall vibe of this collection was jumbled and disrupted. That aside this was fun and had some excellent Gaiman writing.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this for what it was: a chance to experience some of Gaiman’s earliest work and least-collected work. Granted, that also means they weren’t as good, but they’re valuable to see how Gaiman has evolved as a writer.

[Ruth Collier · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this as a 'look behind the scenes' of some of his unpublished stuff. The quality is variable, as is the subject matter (some articles, speeches etc as well as stories) and the ebook edition is full of typos it's a must-read for Gaiman completists.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short stories, blogs, speeches, reviews, poetry.

[Ruthie · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a couple of really bad editing spots that were pretty jarring but it was over all an interesting little read.

[Charles Chlipala · Rating 3 out of 5]

I obtained this as part of a Humble Bundle. Mostly non-fiction and very short. 2.5 stars.

[Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best piece was about the Dresden Dolls.

[Krzysztof · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice selection of random stuff by Gaiman. His early works, reward acceptance speeches, intros to books, short essays, that kind of thing. Enjoyed it, even the very random oozes with his character.

[Sarah Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

For a writer, he’s really quite good at delivering a good speech.

Only for the hardcore fans or the fancore writers. For everyone else - go read The Sandman.

[Samrat · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very enjoyable collection of odds and ends to have rattling around your brain later.

[Mike Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful collection of, as Neil describes them, "B-Sides."

[Jon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gaiman himself calls it "a collection of B sides." Fair enough.

[Steve · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kind of an uneven collection for my tastes, but I'm not a huge Gaiman fan to begin with.