Gentle Writing Advice: How to Be a Writer Without Destroying Yourself

by Chuck Wendig

Finally--a book of writing advice that accounts for all of the messy, perverse, practical, and inexplicable parts of being a human who writes

The truth is that all of the "writing rules" you've learned are bullshit. Sure, they work for some people, but the likelihood that they'll work for you--unique butterfly of a person that you are--is slim. 
 
That doesn't mean you're out of luck! There is meaningful advice to be had in the writing world, and Chuck Wendig is here to deliver it. In this hilarious guide, Wendig will help you discover more about yourself as a writer, parse through your quirks and foibles, and help you figure out the best way for you to get words on the page--without destroying yourself along the way.
 
With behind-the-scenes stories of Wendig's own writing struggles, sections on debunking popular advice, self-care tips, and more footnotes than are strictly necessary (or legally recommended by scientists), Gentle Writing Advice will give the unvarnished truth about the writing process and remind you of what's actually important--taking care of the writer. (That's you, by the way.) 

Genres: Writing, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Crafts, How To, Humor

256 pages, Paperback

Published June 6, 2023

About the author

Chuck Wendig is a novelist, a screenwriter, and a freelance penmonkey.
He has contributed over two million words to the roleplaying game industry, and was the developer of the popular Hunter: The Vigil game line (White Wolf Game Studios / CCP).

He, along with writing partner Lance Weiler, is a fellow of the Sundance Film Festival Screenwriter's Lab (2010). Their short film, Pandemic, will show at the Sundance Film Festival 2011, and their feature film HiM is in development with producer Ted Hope.

Chuck's novel Double Dead will be out in November, 2011.

He's written too much. He should probably stop. Give him a wide berth, as he might be drunk and untrustworthy. He currently lives in the wilds of Pennsyltucky with a wonderful wife and two very stupid dogs. He is represented by Stacia Decker of the Donald Maass Literary Agency.

You can find him at his website, terribleminds.com.

Reviews

[Christina Pilkington · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading the Book of Accidents and seeing Chuck Wendig had written a book about writing, I knew I had to read it. His approach to nonfiction and about writing in particular is the same as his fiction- snarky and irreverent like his blog, Terribleminds.

Going through some tough days in the past 5-6 years taught Wendig that harsh writing advice wasn’t working for him anymore. His new advice about writing can me summed up in one sentence. That no writing advice should be taken as gospel truth.

Writing during the height of the pandemic was difficult for him. He went a year without writing. That year taught him that emotions are something you can’t force. They're bound up in the creation of art and telling of stories. I loved how he said that creativity is limitless, and we're in no danger of losing it no matter how we feel. Not only is every book different, but, as a writer, you are different when you start a new book and are different still when you end it. The way we do things will change with us.

He talked about how writers sometimes harm themselves when they give out advice and treat it as gospel not only for the people receiving their advice but for themselves, too. They take a process and make it rule and law for all subsequent books they write. Wendig did this up until he wrote Wanderers where he broke the mold and used a completely different writing process and it sold more than any of his other books up until that point.

Some of my favorite parts of the book was when Wendig went through a list of common “writing rules” such as show not tell, not using adverbs, write what you know, and kill your darlings, and dispelled those myths, or at least showed how they had obvious flaws. He also has a section near the end of the book that compares writing with birding that I found especially memorable.

Wendig’s distinct voice comes out in his writing, which was mostly a positive for me. It’s a style that I don’t think everyone will click with, and at times I found myself rolling my eyes a little too much, but I mostly was entertained.

My biggest struggle with the book was the numerous side tangents he took. He’d start off talking about one subject and a few pages later we were completely somewhere else. It was like, what are we talking about now? I’m a much more linear, analytic reader of nonfiction, so this did frustrate me a bit at times.

If you’ve read a lot of books about writing, I don’t think you’ll find anything new here, but I still think it’s worth a read. I always see writing a new way every time I spend time with a different writer and learn about their outlook on the writing life.

*Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House/Writer's Digest Books for the digital arc. All opinions are my own.

[Roni Loren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some of this is aimed at a new writer, but even though I've been published for 11 years now, many of his points hit home for me too. The epilogue, though, was worth the whole price of the book for me. I haven't been in the same headspace as a writer since 2020, and he put into words much of what I've been feeling over the last few years, especially this: "But now, I think, everything that's going on has parted the fog that gathered around the original purpose [of writing] and clarified for us that we do want meaning in the work again. Maybe we don't want to write just to be published, but rather, we want to find something that matters--if not to The Whole World, then certainly to Our Own Damn Selves." Yes, that.

[Jenni Sauer · Rating 2 out of 5]

For a book that promised *gentle* writing advice, I was not planning for it to give off the vibe of when you just meet someone and you're thinking "wow, your enthusiasm level is *so high* right now and I'mma really really need you to bring it down...several hundred levels"

Instead of a quiet chat over tea, it felt like the author was running around me in circles, talking so fast that their sentences slur together and I'm dizzy just listening

They also tried *so hard* to be funny in a way that didn't hit for me. Also, I wasn't expecting*so much* language (yes, there's a warning at the beginning. Unfortunately, I had already requested the book on NetGalley, so I decided to try it anyway, because I want to keep my NetGalley score up)

It also just...felt like there was nothing really of substance. It felt like the author was writing an entire book to say "I don't know what will work for you, you'll have to figure it out for yourself" which isn't necessarily bad advice, but notice how I said it in a sentence?

I don't know what I was expecting. But it wasn't this... :/

[Candace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is just what I needed. It's like band-aids and ice cream.

It's not an "I'm all in-your-face, do all the things, keep pedaling magget, motivational write it NOW" type of book. This is a "hey, you face-planted. Let me gently help you up and wipe the mud from your cheeks. Oh, and you look like you're limping, let me walk with you..." type of book.

I annotated and underlined a LOT of things. And I've gone back to it several times. It's that kind of book.

[Dr CG · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you #NetGalley for a chance to read this book in exchange for an honest review. I have always loved to read books about writing. The craft of writing is also evolving rapidly with the emergence of technology integration and AI. I’m excited to see that there are more and more people who still find the importance of writing as a craft.

This book did a great job of talking about things that aren’t so glamorous as a writer and doing so in a very energetic way.

[Allie ReadsMore · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're an aspiring writer (never written), a new writer (just beginning), or have written a few things but still feel green and stupid (like me), read this book. Chuck Wendig gives us an optimistic view of the craft with delivery that's both honest and funny. I am giving it 4/5 stars only because some of the humor was intensely millenial and kind of gave me the ick. The book is still good.

[Catalina N. Gal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cartea face parte din procesul meu de învățare, fiind, așa cum spune și numele, o carte despre Cum să scrii. Dar autorul vrea să demonteze ceva mituri și să fie mai „gentle”. Așa că evită să spună Așa nu.
Într-un stil similar cu cel al cărții lui Stephen King, o carte despre scris devine o carte despre scriitor și la Chuck Wendig.

- Nu folosi atribute? Ei, lasă, că e ok să pui câteva.
- Nu folosi prologuri? Ei, lasă, că merge uneori.
- Nu folosi nimic altceva decat "zise"? el spune ca poti amesteca
În acest stil Wendig, care a scris Wanderers și mie mi-a plăcut mult și The book of accidents, pe care am uitat-o, ne spune cum face el și ce a învățat în cariera de 10 ani de autor și încă 5 de scriitor de diverse.
Notez mai jos lecțiile:
✔️Outline or dont outline, change the method if and when you are stuck.
✔️Write every day if it works for you and you need discipline, writing everyday is like exercise but don't if you fell you'll be burnt-out
✔️Sa ai un hobby creariv, cititul nu se pune
✔️Citește doar recenziile dr la cititori profesionisti
✔️Writing is sometimes not writing (e cercetare, gândit, razgandit, rescris, renuntat) Writing still has to be writing. You must learn to finish what you begin.
✔️Fii prieten cu alti autori, dar in relatii de schimb pe schimb și evita oamenii care doar cer, nu dau.

[Chris Bauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "Gentle Writing Advice" author Chuck Wendig offers a very different tone and perspective on traditional writing advice with his trademark sense of irreverent humor and hilarious footnotes.

Rather than doubling down on the LAWS of writing, he allows the reader to explore and challenge those assumptions. He comes across as a guide of sorts, pointing out options, sharing his own experiences and thoughts - but never once claiming "this is they way."

It was a great read to downshift, create some new thoughts and start to apply them in writing practice.

Butt in chair, words on screen.

[Emily D · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of a writing book, kind of a life advice book. I enjoyed listening to Chuck Wendig read the audio version.

[Robbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was filled with lots of gentle and funny advice on the act of writing, also helping to get me out of my writing slump.

[Rachael Quinn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I stumbled across Wendig's blog a while ago and took to reading it regularly. Part of that was that I loved his brand of writing advice and I always love his tone which veers into feral squirrel territory. What can I say? I have strange taste.

Over the years I have seen the writing advice fade from his blog more and more and the advice that has come out has changed in tone. Wendig has never been shy about his feelings around politics and the general fuckery of the world and I appreciate that he has pulled that into his writing advice. It used to be easier to put your butt in the chair and write but we're all a little shell-shocked and traumatized right now.

I found this book to be very, well, soothing. And inspiring, really. Wendig spends some time on reminding us that writing isn't supposed to be that serious. We do it because it is fun and we enjoy it and that is really what I needed to hear in the moment. I also needed the reminding that not every day is a day for writing, that sometimes it's best to just go for a walk and let things ruminate. Most importantly, you have to write the story that you want to write, not something that checks boxes.

I would suggest this book for the writer who is feeling discouraged. It really helped me feel excited to write again.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book presents a brutally honest discussion of what the writing life is really like. I appreciated it very much, especially as a published author, still writing, who has sorta figured out what works and what doesn't work for me. Wendig provided a flexible idea of what a writer does, presenting what HE does, but opening the door to showing that his way of writing a book is certainly not the only way to write a book. I particularly appreciated his thoughts on looking at the notion of "time spent writing" as including reading, researching, planning and other essential parts of the writing life (not just daily word count). This book has helped me relax a bit and not beat myself up on days I progress in my writing projects but don't necessarily get words typed on the page.

Highly recommended for writers at all stages of their careers.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Usually, when it comes to business books, I say "take what you like and leave the rest."

Except this time? You really need to take all of it.

When no less a person than Chuck Wendig says there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all writing advice, it makes sense to pay attention.

It also makes sense to read the footnotes. ;-)

I felt validated when reading that, like me, Wendig experienced his creativity drying up during the lockdown ... it helped me realize that I truly was not alone, and that this was not a reflection on my knowledge, skills, and abilities.

This books is the kind of advice that all writers need in order to understand that it's okay if your process changes, and that there are really very few hard-and-fast rules at all.

[Joy Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

I THOROUGHLY enjoyed reading this book. I picked it up because lately I've become interested in starting my writing journey and so any book of that nature always interests me. I did not imagine finding one that was so perfect for me! The emotional intelligence in this book is incredible. I think we forget about managing emotions when it comes to creative pursuits and I think that's a mistake. At least, it is for people such as myself. I have no doubt many people will find what is shared in this book deeply resonates with them.

[Brad · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was so hard to read. So much voice. I found myself wishing he would say what he wants to say without veering off into rants on god knows whatever subjects. He gets closest to this in the epilogue, perhaps the most enjoyable part of the book. It took a lot of work to get to the advice, of which there is much that is helpful.

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

The footnotes nearly ruin the book.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend recommended me to read "Gentle Writing Advice" and I'm glad I did. It is definitely a different kind of writing book. Rather than focusing on a specific element of the craft (i.e. character arcs) or how to write a book, this one focuses more on writing in general.

Indeed, if there is one takeaway that I have from this book, it's about how we need to find out what works best for us. The various rules - showing vs. telling, adverb rules, "likeable" protagonists, etc. - are helpful and important to learn, but even within them there are many nuances and we have to read and write mindfully. By doing so, we discover who we are as writers. This is something that I agree with also. I'm not published, but practicing various stories and trying out ideas has helped me find out what to write and learn more about my own identity as a writer.

Plus, I like how Wendig discusses about not being constrained by a specific genre - especially since many stories incorporate elements of various genres. Of course, I think it's important and helpful to learn about various genres and the tropes and conventions of them (and I don't think Wendig disagrees with that either), but I agree with Wendig also that we can't overly focus and be bogged down by them either.

I also like how Wendig talks about the challenges, doubts, uncertainties, rejections, and struggles that come with writing - and how important it is to accept them as part of the process. I've learned that the hard way, but it's invaluable both for writing and for life. It's easier said than done, but Wendig's takes on this are realistic and encouraging.

The humor that Wendig employs is helpful overall, but I do have a caveat about it. It made me laugh quite a bit at times and made the book more interesting. With that said, like a Deadpool movie, there are certain types of jokes that do get overused, in my opinion.

Overall, this is a very good book. It's probably meant more for newer writers, but I think it can be helpful for more experienced ones (particularly if they're going through a difficult time and a lot of doubt). Wendig has some great examples too, and this book resonated with me. I enjoyed it and found it to be an encouraging read.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this book delivers on its promise. Chuck says he’s going to give gentle advice, and that’s what he does. There are absolutely people who need this brand of generalized encouragement. I can see this working well for someone who thinks they’re a failure if they use adverbs because Stephen King once said they suck. Like their brain has been wrapped up in so many must-follow rules that they’re flailing on the floor in the throes of an existential—never mind writerly—crisis. They need Chuck’s casual, hey-there-buddy pep talks.

But there is nothing practical in here. Nothing. He says you to have to practice self-care. He says you have to know when to quit. He says you need to find joy in your work. These aren’t bad pieces of advice, but they don’t need whole chapters. That’s advice for literally anyone. Should you eliminate negativity in your life as an author? Yep. But so should mail carriers. And beekeepers.

He says writing is messy, and that he “doesn’t know how to write a book,” even though he mentions at least eighty five times that he’s written lots of books, that he’s successful, that he’s been writing for decades. And I get it: he’s trying to say that there’s no perfect formula for book-creation because each book is different. There is honest danger in handing out a formula of any kind because of course it’s not going to work for everyone, and also…breaking the rules is fine. Going off-script can mean you write a unique novel. But his dogged insistence that he’s just as clueless as the rest of us novices was fake-feeling.

His quips and unnecessary footnotes told me I’d like him as a person, but it was tedious as a reader who wasn’t learning anything new. He was trying so hard to be funny that the build-up for a joke took a full page only for the punchline to be a statement like “some days you’ll write a lot and some days you won’t.” Oh, okay. Thanks for the reassurance. And again, that’s not horrible advice. It’s gentle. It’s true. It’s just not helpful to me.

This is a well-intentioned book filled with generic advice that essentially gives no answers. Do what works for you, is the gist.

[Bailey Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chuck Wendig's quirky, irreverent and sometimes glib style shines brightly in this charming, healing book on writing. Wendig's message that it's okay to be you, it's okay to be not-awesome-at-everything, and it's okay to f*ck up from time to time, or pretty often, is a welcome salve to a mind bruised by the writing culture's echo chamber of sententious, sacred Do's and Don'ts.

If your writing group sometimes sounds like a parody of a four minute YouTube on "The 10 Most Common Mistakes New Authors Make," you may need this book.

Wendig's permissive, life affirming message may not sit well with purse lipped, humorless workaholics whose impeccably practical minds see no value in wasting time with trivial frivolities like enjoying your life. To those who deeply own the idea that human value is measured in units of production, this book will frankly be anathema. I say to those people, "Stop browsing the internet and get back to work!"

For the rest of us, this book is a laugh out loud romp through the challenges and anxieties that drive writers batty. Wendig shows us that all of that is normal and, in fact, not nearly as bad as it seems.

[Amy Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is exactly as the title says-gentle writing advice. It’s the best book about writing that I’ve ever read, and I have a shelf full of writing books. Wendig is humble and hilarious and has filled this book with a plethora of tips to write confidently and embrace your life and your stories. He also includes great self care advice like this great quote:

Kindness to yourself is commitment to yourself and your wants, seeing them as valid and then pursuing your satisfaction and happiness relentlessly with neither shame nor abandon. Being good to yourself is saying:
“This is important to me, this matters, and so I’m going to do it, no matter what anyone else wants me to believe.”

I loved this whole book. It made me feel happy to be alive and happy to be a word lover.

[Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy.]

[Jasmine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me: Bullying myself into finishing a book isn’t gonna work, right, Chuck Wendig?

Wendig: Right. Make sure you clean out your bag of fucks every so often too.

Me: So I can’t just walk around caring so much and wanting to be so perfect that I can’t even write a single word?

Wendig: God, no!

Me: And I’m not suffering from writer’s block but anxiety and perfectionism?

Wendig: Probably.

Me: And I should have fun and take myself less seriously like I did when I first started writing?

Wendig: Exactly.

Me: You’re telling me that it’s okay to go at my own pace? That writing is like working out and I don’t have to throw myself into 2000 words a day and can work up to it?

Wendig: That’s exactly what I told you. And I was very funny and understanding while I told it to you too, wasn’t I?

Me: You were. Thank you, Chuck Wendig.

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little meandering in the first half and delivered with Wendig's comic crassness which may not be to everyone's taste, Gentle Writing Advice is nevertheless another great craft book from a experienced writer with a talent for conveying helpful advice in a readily accessible manner. With this book, Wendig focuses less on the writing and more on being a writer, revising some of his earlier beliefs while also providing an empathetic discussion of how the state of the world and creativity have changed in recent years. It's a kind, realistic, and hopeful literary hug from one writer who has been through a lot of it to every creative struggling to find a new way forward.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a pretty decent (footnote 1) book of writing inspiration. It actually did leave me feeling inspired and comforted, despite the sometimes long-winded digressions about god only knows what (I skipped most of those paragraphs).

1 You thought I meant decent as in clothed, didn't you. Didn't you? What fun words are! Even if you put them in an oubliette, they will find some way to squirm their way out of captivity. Wait, what am I talking about again? Ahem.

[Marde · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is exactly what I needed right now.

I’ve been giving myself such a hard time over not finishing the project of my heart and telling myself I must not be meant for writing. This book has given me peace, made me laugh out loud in public places, almost made me cry at times (also in public places), and given me more passion for my craft and my dreams.

Thank you, Chuck Wendig. ♥️

[Thecritic · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book a lot, I can’t say it has is a great writing manual, which it isn’t, but it’s a great read for writers or readers. Chuck Wendig talks about his writing process, and how he grows and evolves by finding new ways that fits his current self. That’s a good advice, and that is something I needed to hear.

What I got from this book is there are some rules, they have good reasons to be there, but they don’t always work. There are some routines and beliefs we have for our writing process, they work while they work, and when they stop working, find new ways.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is definitely a book that any writer needs to read right now. It's like a hug made just for me. I appreciated it, and some parts were things I definitely needed to read in this moment. Good stuff, through and through.

[ashes ➷]

did he take back the plotting blog post. that's all i need to know. because he was right the first time

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

One part comedy, two parts the writing advice everyone needs.

[Beachback · Rating 5 out of 5]

Humorous, delightful, and insightful. Great and supportive read.

[Camila Minotti · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is the kind of advice this book gives you:

"...also a giant bird costume because the very best writers write while wearing a giant bird costume."

and it's the kind of advice you need.