Wish You Were Here

by Tom Holt

It was a busy day on Lake Chicopee. But it was an eclectic bunch of sightseers and tourists that had the strange, local residents rubbing their hands with delight. There was Calvin Dieb, the lawyer setting up the property deal, who'd lost his car keys; there was Linda Lachuk, the tabloid journalist who could smell that big, sensational story; there was dumpy Janice DeWeese, who was just on a walking holiday but who longed for love. But most promising of all, there was Wesley Higgins, the young man from Birmingham, England, who was there because he knew the legend of the ghost of Okeewana.
All he had to do was immerse himself in the waters of the lake and he would find his heart's desire.

Genres: Fantasy, Comedy, Humor, Fiction, Ebooks, Urban Fantasy

352 pages, Paperback

First published April 2, 1998

About the author

Tom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humorous ways. He has also produced a number of "straight" historical novels writing as Thomas Holt and fantasy novels writing as K.J. Parker.

Reviews

[Caleb · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's a decent book here. I can feel it. It's just so hard to find in among all the bad jokes, offensive stereotypes and plodding lulls in the story. I really want to like it, but something would get in the way every couple dozen pages to make me stop and wonder how this ever got published in the first place.

Now, the bad jokes and humor I can let slide. That's just a matter of taste and given how British this book reads, I'm honestly more surprised than anything that the jokes didn't land for me. I love British comedy and comedy authors from England a lot. This just doesn't work here. Maybe because it's set in Iowa and so many of the characters are American, who speak so British that it throws me off trying to make them so in my head. But again, I can ignore this point.

The plot lulls I can also kindof let go. Given that this whole book is basically about fucking with people to make them realize that they are fine just the way they are, or to open them up to being alive, or whatever the lesson was for the lawyer and journalist since they didn't appear to get anything out of this, I can expect some slow bits here and there. Hell, the book took nearly 100 pages just to get itself properly set up and going, which is a lot when the whole book is just shy of 350 pages. But again, whatever.

The thing that will throw most readers off as much as it did me, were all the bad stereotypes that we call characters here. We've got the classic Dungeons and Dragons nerd (remember when being a nerd wasn't a cool thing because this is that stereotype), the evil lawyer, the crazy conspiracy theory seeking journalist and so many bad Native American jokes (several are named after the 12 days of Christmas for some reason, as an example) it will quickly offend quite a few people if they forget that this was written at the tail end of when political correctness was still a fairly optional thing.

About the only normal character in the book seems to be Janice DeWeese, and even here, we get the ugly girl who wants to be loved and adored, only to end up hating it. She is the most balanced character though, which is a shame because we also see her probably the least of anyone in the book.

So yeah, I guess the quick version is this. The book is pretty meh, with a decent message. It does a very poor job of giving us that message though, so be prepared to read this with low expectations in mind.

[Riju Ganguly · Rating 1 out of 5]

There is a smart, witty and typically British novel here. But it has drowned beneath a lake of mindless drivel.
I had come here after being enamoured by the writings of K.J. Parker. This one was a rude jolt. Nevertheless, I would persist. Let's see how the next one turns out.
This one was rubbish.

[Simon Mcleish · Rating 2 out of 5]

Originally published on my blog here in June 1999.

At the time of writing, I believe this is the most recent Tom Holt novel to be published. For a comic fantasy novel, it is extremely bleak, being based on the fairy story idea of the wish which turns out to be rather a liability when granted. (Stories of this kind are extremely ancient, being found in Greek and Roman myth as well as Hans Andersen and the Brothers Grimm.)

Lake Checopee, in Iowa, has a resident spirit, who grants those who drown in the lake their heart's desire, or at least their strongest desire at the moment when they pass through the lake's surface. There are two problems with this. First, she only has limited resources at her disposal (basically the labour of those who drowned in the past, plus a little magic). Second, her interpretation of the desire is often quite perverse.

The fulfilment of the wish generally involves some series of encounters with bears, Indians, Vikings (exploring from Vinland via the Great Lakes in a complicated sort of way), and so on. The idea behind the spirit's actions is to improve the personalities of the wishers in some way, and is generally both confusing and unpleasant, as they are brought to realise that their shallow dreams do not equate with happiness.

The four characters tracked through the book have fairly typical hearts' desires: ambition (the reporter wanting the scoop of her career), social success (the woman wanting sex appeal), escapism (the desire for adventure) and - a typical Holt touch - mundane and immediate (to find the car keys that the search for led to the fall into the lake).

Wish You Were Here is quite depressing to read, as the dreams are relentlessly ground down. In contrast to Holt's other novels, I did not find it very amusing; it is more as though he is trying to say "This is what life is really like."

[Tim Schneider · Rating 2 out of 5]

By far the worst thing I've read by Holt. The premise is marginal. The humor, such as it is, doesn't help the premise. The characters are almost universally forgettable. It is redeemed only by the fact that I didn't feel it necessary to toss it against the wall.

[Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Tom Holt's books. However Wish You Were Here was not one of my favorites.

[Pawanraj · Rating 3 out of 5]

Don't read it for the story, don't read it for a rather convenient ending...

Do read it for chuckles and some nuggets of wisdom packed into a quick, breezy book

[Stephen Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the idea more than the execution.

[GwenPeds · Rating 2 out of 5]

As another reviewer wrote, "there's a decent book in here. I can feel it." I couldn't find it either. DNF

[Riana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Four people from different walks of life fall into a mystical lake. Haunted by a Native American spirit, the lake takes each of them on a bizarre adventure based on their heart’s desire.

This tale starts out with plenty of potential and the first few chapters left me wildly concentrating, but hopeful. Unfortunately the plot soon becomes haphazard, leaving you wondering what on earth is going on. I understand that there is a fair amount of symbolism happening, but the events become so muddled up that it is hard to figure out exactly what that symbolism is. Besides that Holt of course loves randomness, I can’t help feeling that being “random” and bizarre is somewhat of an art. However, in Wish You Were Here it feels more like the author closed his eyes and pinpointed to a topic on a map and chucked it into his story. Character Linda Lachuk is just one example of randomness getting out of hand. Not even Holt’s characteristic satire and humour makes up for the jumbled story line.

The only part of the story that I appreciated was the new spin on the fairytale “Cinderella” where Janice points out the obvious illogical approach of the prince towards identifying his unforgettable dream girl. Don’t we all sometime come up with nonsensical solutions to problems, just because the logical one might disappoint us with the truth?

Although marginally entertaining at times, I had a really hard time staying awake to finally finish this book. I was hoping for a more rewarding ending, and though I sensed that the conclusion was probably suppose to have some moral message, I once again was not arbitrary enough to understand what it was. I will not attempt another Tom Holt soon, as I need to rediscover that reading can be gratifying and exciting.

[Nathan Dehoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Somewhat unusually for a Holt book, this one is set in America, specifically Lake Chicopee in Iowa. (There's a lake of that name is Massachusetts, but not really in Iowa, as far as I can tell.) Anyone who jumps or falls into the lake is granted their heart's desire at the time, which can be pretty ridiculous at times, like the unscrupulous lawyer who just wants his car keys back. An English fantasy geek who wants a grand adventure, a woman who wants to be attractive, and a tabloid reporter in search of an exciting and convoluted story also end up in the magical world on the other side of the lake, where the Native American lake spirit guides them through a strange adventure. It also appears that the spirit doesn't have much of a budget, so a lot of the people who had previously fallen into the lake have to play multiple roles, including Vikings and Cherokee warriors. Also involved are talking bears and a band of fairy-like thieves. The customers keep wandering in and out of each others' spirit quests, and the whole thing is amusingly ridiculous, but also feels kind of pointless. Holt's comic fantasies often end with a relatively happy ending, even as they suggest there's no way to overcome much of the world's corruptness and greed. That really isn't the case here. Still, it's a pretty good read, including much of Holt's typical parody and satire.

[Ann Dulhanty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story was fantastically funny, intricately plotted and cleverly written. One of the quotes from SFX on my paperback is 'best similes since Douglas Adams', and I have to agree. But it's not all frivolity. The story examines fundamental concepts about human nature, namely that we often wish for things but seldom consider the full ramifications of having our wish granted. The characters in this story are engaging, believable and sympathetic, except perhaps the lawyer but that's to be expected. There's a wonderful poke at journalism and its insatiable thirst for the sensational. The seamless slip between reality and a fantastic world that looks much like ours, if you don't look too closely, is delightful.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a silly fantasy story about a lake controlled by a Native American spirit. People who fall into the lake end up in an alternate world where their greatest wish comes true! Of course, having one's greatest wish come true turns out to bring about many problems. . .

I thought the story started out very well but was a little bit too long as Holt continued to develop weird circumstances for his protagonists to face. Still, there are many good one-liners throughout the book, and many of the weird circumstances are funny.

[K. Morral · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a clever, if somewhat complicated comedy fantasy story with many characters and entwined sub-plots (that merge into one) to keep track of. It is well written, and easy to follow with all of the complexity, with an interesting twist at the end.

It pokes fun (none of which is unkind) of lawyers, fantasy obsessives, and fairy tales in ingenious ways.

Not quite as funny as his Blond Bombshell mind.

[Kylie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been reading Tom Holt for over 20 years, and this is not one of his strongest novels. But it's still good. If you want to give Tom Holt a go, don't tread this book first, you'll be disappointed. But, if you're a fan, give it a go, it's really not as bad as the other reviewers makes it out to be.

[SJ · Rating 1 out of 5]

Newer Tom Holt books are infinitely better!