Buried Dreams

by Tim Cahill

This book is the devasting look inside the mind of John Wayne Gacy--the convicted murderer of 33 teenage boys. Based on the investigative reporting of Russ Ewing, Cahill reveals the disturbing impulses which turned Gacy into the world's largest mass-murderer.

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Crime, Biography, Horror, Psychology, History

353 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published February 1, 1986

About the author

Tim Cahill (born 1944 in Nashville, Tennessee) is a travel writer who lives in Livingston, Montana, United States. He is a founding editor of Outside magazine and currently serves as an "Editor at Large" for the magazine.

Reviews

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before I read this book I had been familiar with Tim Cahill's writing for Outside magazine. I'm not really sure what drew me to read this account of the horrific crimes of John Wayne Gacy, but in some respects I wish I had not. During the period I read this I was interested in what made these type of killers tick, but I don't know if that's even possible. Cahill is a fine writer and maybe that part of the problem. Scenes from this book that I'd rather forget still come back to me sometimes. The true crimes of John Wayne Gacy are more disturbing than anything Stephen King could think up. These days movies like Hostel and Saw seem to indicate that people are now entertained by sadistic torture. The current entertainment value of torture, ultimate fighting and war disturbs me as much as having to read the accounts of Gacy burying boys in his basement.

[Mary Eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

John Wayne Gacy, charitable do-gooder, neighborhood socialite, Democratic precinct captain, award-winning member of the Jaycees, member of the "Jolly Jokers" clown club - visiting sick children in hospital as Pogo or Patches the clown. Gacy enjoyed his public persona, especially as director of Chicago's Polish parade. He rubbed shoulders with prominent folk, even posing for a picture with First Lady Rosalind Carter. He had the connections, man! Then, there's the other Gacy — a bisexual, sadistic serial killer. In John's own words, this horrifying book is gonna stick to me like glue.Thirty-three young men brutally tortured and sodomized for Gacy's animalistic pleasure. Using John's last words, I'd like to say the same: "Kiss my ass!" You got what you deserved. And, John...your lethal injection was far too humane.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is very much a contradiction. It's both repellent and compelling, and forced me to read on through my disgust and anger.

This is the "true" story of John Wayne Gacy, the Clown Killer who murdered 33 boys and young men and buried them under his house. I say "true" because the author has included much of Gacy's defense and obfuscations and justifications, although they are glaringly obvious.

This really is a trip through the horrific funhouse maze that was the mind of this particular killer. I could hardly put it down, but now I need to go shower.

This book contains triggers for rape, abuse, and other horrors. Read carefully.

[Kimberly Comeau · Rating 5 out of 5]

A haunting account of John Wayne Gacy, a serial killer who tortured and killed teenaged boys then buried their bodies in the crawl space of his home. "Haunting," because the book is written through the POV of Gacy. This book, as no other book has, has brought me to a clear understanding of what "psychopath" means through Gacy's actions and words rather than through a clinical explanation of the term.

This book also introduced me to Tim Cahill, an exceptional researcher and storyteller who has mastered his craft. I'm now very interested in Cahill's other work.

[Barbara Carter · Rating 3 out of 5]

I purchased this book when it came up as a BookBub deal. I couldn’t resist peering inside the mind of a serial killer.
The author of this book obtained the information from Russ Ewing who’d worked on the Gacy story.
The book looks for a pattern of what goes on in the mind of a killer. The book is written for the most part from Gacy’s point of view.

Serial killers are cold calculating animals with the ability to live an apparently normal life between, and in spite of accumulating murderous episodes.
The serial killer is everyone’s next door neighbour.

Gacy was married twice.
He was clever and knew how to slip through cracks.
He served 16 months of a 10-year sentence for what would become a pattern for him and later murder.
His IQ was 118, placing him in the “bright normal” category.
He is a man that was successful at what he did … yet had this dark side and the urge to kill.
it is unimaginable how he slept 6 years in the house with all those young men buried in the crawlspace beneath him.
When he ran out of room to bury them, he started disposing the bodies in the Des Plains River.
There was a certain type of young man he looked for.

At one point he tried to say he knew nothing of the killings. It was like had an alternate personality that took over. But it did not convince anyone.

He had a difficult relationship with his father.
He was a loner and an ugly duckling as a child and never good enough in his old man’s eyes.
His old man “dished out” punishments, saying, “I’ll teach you…. much like Gacy dished out punishments to those young men he felt deserved it.
Gacy’s mother babied and coddled him. He was a sickly child. His father called him “queer” and Gacy held the belief you got what you deserved when you were out after midnight.

I kept asking myself would he have become a serial killer if he grew up in a loving household?
Some parts of this book were repetitive. Some parts more interesting than others.
I feel it could have organized and summed things up a bit better.

[Carolyne Borel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the fact that Tim Cahill didn't not try to go for the sensational/marketing aspect most of those serial killers books are going for. I would say he probably took on the job without prior judgments, and this can be felt in his writing.
Yet, this is a profoundly disturbing book, as it manages to really get "into the mind of a serial killer", and dwell with all of its complexities and layers. This book would be a good recommendation for students in psychology more than criminology actually.

[Droydicus Malojan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A remarkable work. Cahill uses detailed interviews with Gacy to get inside his head and tell the story from his point of view creating a literary/true crime fusion in the tradition of 'in cold blood' in the process. What's most impressive is the sheer style of the thing. The use of repetition the careful pacing of Gacy's voice with external POV's, and the brilliant management of tension, rarely showing the true horror of Gacy's crimes. Cahill uses suggestion to imply the dark depths in which the reader is swimming, seldom allowing the fin of the shark to break the surface - until the gaping maw is brutally exposed in a harrowing late chapter.

A masterpiece of horror. Given its subject matter, perhaps too good.

[Vicki Herbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

A look through a predator's eyes

4 stars. This is a different take on these crimes as they are told mainly from Gacy's point of view. He was the very definition of a sociopath...

He prowled the streets looking for vulnerable young boys... sometimes offering them jobs with his construction company... then savagely, sadistically and callously used them sexually...

... afterward he killed them and then disposed of their empty bodies like they were now trash... like empty milk cartons...

This is a very sobering, chilling and terrifying look through a predator's eyes and not for the squeamish...

Reading about this monster is a reminder to be vigilant at all times and keep your children close.

[Fishface · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating, in a nauseating way. This is the Gacy story, focusing on the defense strategy and trial more or less from Gacy's own point of view, seen darkly through the tangled cobwebs of justification, lies and distortion. Gives a nice, clear picture of how many different psychiatric opinions you can obtain about a single case, most of them dead wrong.

[Shelley]

Probably the most terrifying and unsettling book I've ever read.

[GD · Rating 3 out of 5]

Whoo-wee John Wayne Gacy was fucked UP, if you didn't already know. I feel like I need to wash my brain pan out with bleach after finishing this.

The style is the main problem I have with this, written in third person in the "voice" Gacy would have used were he writing about... himself.... in third person. It was just weird, and while it may have given me a much better idea of his personality, it was just a bizarre way to write a biography or true crime book, and I think a book like this can't really be used for reference in research, it's too much like a novel, more so than any other true crime I've read. "In understanding the crimes committed by John Wayne Face, I found it was necessary to learn to think like John Wayne Gacy. This is neither pleasant for entirely healthy. We are diving into some dark and chilly psychic waters here. The reader may feel claustrophobic, may feel trapped inside the killer's mind, as I did in writing this book." Hahahahahaha!!!!

That being said, the writer is very talented, and the preview of the author's "new" book, in 1987, makes me actually want to see if it's still in print.

Other points of interest:

Gacy was ALMOST a priest, which wouldn't be very surprising.

"'You bite my dick and I'll cut your fucking balls off,' he says, and this makes him smile again: it is another hollow joke, hauled up out of darkness like some eyeless and primitive thing found in a fisherman's net."

"In the male homosexual, the doctor said, 'there is the obvious elimination of the castration fear because... the sexual partner has a fetish, and you are not threatened by the idea of a penisless object..." HAHAHAHAHAH.

"The necrophiliac 'tends to collect corpses as a fetishism expression of necrophilia and as a way of assuring himself of the fact that people love him. He has... all these bodies, people who supposedly loved him and cared for him and then he feels better... because he has... representations of a lot of people that care for him." Uh, ok.

Here's the funniest one. "Some of the jurors were looking back -- the guy with the moustache, the blond-haired guy John figured was 'liberal' because he was blond..." That's so funny to me for some reason.

[Kristina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poorly written.

I feel like the research was good but it was a mistake trying to write the book from Gacy's point of view. It was too vulgar and too dark. It would've been better to write it from a unbiased journalistic point of view in my opinion. I didn't finish it.

[Kristen Doherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was freaky. It get into detail about how John totured a young boy...I couldn't read that part. Other then that the book is really good.

[Brittany · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a very good book as its based on a true story. I thought it could of been written a little bit better (the timeline jumped back and forth way to much, and it was uneccesary).

[Annie Booker · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really struggled with this one. It reads more like an apologia for Gacy than anything else.

[Frank Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tim Cahill attempts to do the impossible in BURIED DREAMS INSIDE THE MIND OF JOHN WAYNE GACY: He attempts to get inside the head of a serial killer in his own words.

Cahill explains in his introduction: “In understanding the crimes committed by John Wayne Gacy, I found it was necessary to learn to think like John Wayne Gacy…I have tried to present a picture of a man’s mind, in his own style of speech, often in his own words. I wanted to put the reader inside that mind—the mind of the murderer…”

In this Cahill has succeeded very well. At times I felt dirty, slightly disoriented, even paranoid as I read about Gacy’s 33 murders, the torture, his sheer craziness (so it seems to me and perhaps most “normal” persons).

It also raises disturbing questions as to what is “normal” and what is “insane” in the human mind. These are questions difficult to answer because the terms in the questions themselves are difficult to define. What is normal? What is insane? Cahill tries to explain as follows:

“A psychiatrist or psychologist can define the symptoms of the disorder, but because the sociopath is propelled by choice rather than illness, the concept becomes almost philosophical, even theological. In discussing sociopathic personalities, one is forced to deal with such abstractions as the idea of free will; in extreme cases, the sociopath brings some of the people he meets face to face with the very nature of evil itself.”

Cahill also shares these disquieting thoughts:

“I suspect that the majority of readers—those whose lives never touched John Wayne Gacy’s—share, at the outset, my original belief that anyone committing such incomprehensibly cruel crimes must necessarily be insane. But if John Gacy is sane, as those who prosecuted him argued—if the pattern is not symptomatic of mental disease but is rather a rational criminal’s ‘method of operation’—we are confronted with an intensely disturbing moral and philosophical concept. It is not something we ordinarily care to examine too closely, this idea that evil exists in our world. Confronted with the crimes committed by John Wayne Gacy, decent people cling to the cold conceptual comfort of insanity. One psychologist I spoke with about Mr. Gacy stated this position best: ‘Evil is a medieval superstition.’ Then again, he never personally examined John Wayne Gacy, as the reader of this book is about to do.”

I would normally in a review discuss in more detail some of these questions, concepts, and details contained in the book. After living in the mad house of Gacy’s mind throughout this book, however, I am not sure what I could add. One would have to read the book to reach his or her own conclusions.

In the end, whether we call it insanity or evil, one thing is certain: Something monstrous can and does live in the minds and hearts of some among us.

[Trish W. · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Buried Dreams" by journalist Tim Cahill was published in 1986, six years after the conviction of John Wayne Gacy. Cahill's original goal was "to find the real John Gacy". During the three and a half year writing process, he realized arriving at "a solid core of truth" was a vast oversimplification. He then chose to write "Buried Dreams" mostly from Gacy's point of view, told in his style of speech and often in his own words. The reader is in the position of weighing and judging. Cahill states that when decent people are confronted with Gacy's crimes they cling to the concept of insanity, the belief that no sane person could possibly be capable of such acts. As would be seen, the problem lies with the understanding and definition of "insane."

The first part of the book chronicles Gacy's childhood through his final arrest in December 1978. As the chapters progress the descent of Gacy's mental and emotional pathology becomes an incomprehensible and hellish labyrinth. His activities from 1972-78 in Cook County, Illinois (a part of metropolitan Chicago) are included as far as the facts are known.

The last part of the book documents the trial and pertinent testimony of several survivors and various witnesses. Gacy was administered numerous psychological tests and examined by multiple psychiatrists and psychologists for hundreds of hours for both for the prosecution and the defense. A psychoanalyst stated Gacy was "one of the most complex personalities" he had ever tried to study. The varied psychiatric testimony of Gacy's motives and behavior are the only explanations as far as it could ever be determined. A dizzying array of descriptions were given and he was variously diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder (commonly known as sociopathy), or all three by one physician, narcissistic personality disorder, & mixed atypical psychosis. Medical agreement was never reached as to whether Gacy was legally insane and not accountable, or was fully able to form deliberate intent with understanding of the criminality of his actions. To describe Gacy as an "extremely disordered" person with "mixed personality disorders" is probably as accurate a description and diagnosis as would ever be made. The most critical point made was that a personality disorder - even with psychosis - does not stem from mental illness and would not meet criteria for involuntary commitment.

As history documents, given the other physical evidence the jury didn't concern themselves about psychosis and took less than two hours to reach a verdict, and another two hours to determine sentencing.

Gacy was sentenced to death on March 13, 1980 for 12 of the 33 murders. After spending 14 years on death row he was executed by lethal injection at Stateville Correctional Center on May 10, 1994. Six victims remain unidentified. The total number of murders is still questioned.

True crime stories are always disturbing, but this is undoubtedly one of the darkest I've ever read and surpasses even most fiction. Recommended with caution to readers with strong stomachs.

[Charlotte Anne Flores · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is not for the faint hearted, but if you’re interested in true crime and the psychology of serial killers you’re likely to enjoy it. What I liked most about this book is that it felt like a story rather than a cerebral recap of Gacy’s crimes. At times, some scenes were hard to get through cause of the graphic detail and vivid imagery. It felt like I was in the mind of Gacy which was disturbing and intriguing. Cahill is obviously a great storyteller, which made this book more enjoyable that some other true crime books that can be passionless and boring. If you’re looking for a book that plunges you into the life of a notorious serial killer with unapologetic detail, this is the one for you. But if you’re looking for something a little less graphic, it might be best to avoid this read. Cahill painted a comprehensive portrait of Gacy’s life from childhood to death. Disturbingly enough, I even found myself feeling sympathetic for Gacy while reading about his tortured childhood. After reading this you’ll know more than you’d probably ever need to about the life and crimes of John Wayne Gacy, so if that’s something you think you’d enjoy, I’d highly recommend getting a copy of this terrifying book.

[Burt · Rating 3 out of 5]

The subtitle Inside the Mind of a Serial Killer tells the reader what’s ahead in Tim Cahill’s Buried Dreams. John Wayne Gacy is one of the most-infamous serial killers in history. Cahill tries to understand Gacy’s thinking.

To me, Buried Dreams was hit and miss. I enjoyed reading about Gacy’s life history. He had an unhappy childhood in the Chicago area. But, as an adult, Gacy showed promise - he married, fathered two children, and made a good living working in his in-laws’ KFC franchises. Ironically enough, Gacy also showed political skills as he gained influence in the Jaycees and - later - in Illinois’ Democratic Party.

But things were tangled beneath the surface, Gacy went to prison in the late 1960s for abusing a boy and his wife quickly divorced him. After Gacy got out of prison, he soon started his killing spree.

When Cahill details Gacy’s killings, Buried Dreams becomes difficult to read. The book spares the reader no details about what Gacy did to his victims. I’m not usually squeamish, but I was glad to get to the end.

Buried Dreams is an interesting book, but it’s not always easy to stomach.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gruesome scary read, not only because of the events that take place, but because Tim Cahill has written this from Gacy's own viewpoint. To inhabit the brain of a serial killer is truely terrifying. The question "why?" is unequivocally answered - Gacy was delusional, deranged and dangerous. I was also more than horrified by law enforcement failures, from the lack of communication and sharing of information, to the complete disregard (and disrespect) of the few victims who did escape. Can't help but think that Gacy didn't act alone and police just wanted to get this filed away so they weren't scrutinised any further. I seriously wonder who out there knows more and if they will take secrets, and more boys, to the grave with them.

[Ilecia Baboolal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Psychoanalysis at its best

I must say I was expecting a glossed over analysis of what we all think John Gacy’s mindset was at the time of the murders. I was pleasantly surprised. This is an actual in-depth description on not only what Gacy did, but looking at him trying to understand himself, all while maintaining the fact that he was trying to con everyone to escape death himself. This book was at times difficult to read because the psychoanalysis of John Wayne Gacy the serial killer is a difficult concept to grasp. I would recommend it to anyone looking to get into the mind of a serial killer.

[Sandy Saunders · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought the book had an interesting concept where it is written as if Gacy was sitting in front of you chatting about his self analysis on why he committed the murder of at least 33 young men. Of course, he realises he didn’t to it but another “self” must have done them.
My problem with the book is unless you have prior knowledge of the crimes, it starts to mean nothing to the reader. These victims were innocent boys and yet they are hardly mentioned so, to me, it started to feel like the book had no soul. I stopped reading after chapter 14,which is around half the book, so maybe it changed after that.

[Jesse Rohrer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a harrowing book. The majority of it is essentially the author paraphrasing John Wayne Gacy's stream-of-concious word-diarhhea manipulation of his story. The dude was an infernal blabber mouth, and having his voice in my head while I read this was a profoundly unpleasant experience. Picture one of the Chicago sports fans from SNL as a sociopathic serial killing pedophile and you'll kind of get the picture.

Still, it's a job well done by the author. The subject matter is icky, but it's worth a read if you know what you're getting into and are interested in the subject matter. I do kind of wish I hadn't read it, personally.

[Mike Correll · Rating 5 out of 5]

A perfectly balanced tapestry of true horror and depravity. Cahill carefully navigates the fine line between necessary and lurid details, which is tricky business when dealing with serial killers. If you are curious about what made John Wayne Gacy Jr. tick, then this book is for you. No stone is left unturned in this heart-wrenching biopic, and while Gacy’s acts themselves are horrific, Cahill’s descriptions do not feel salacious. The reader is left with a more well-rounded understanding of how Gacy became the man he was.

[Dna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Parts of this were interesting...? But wow, was it terribly written. The tone Cahill uses and the sloppy, crass slang...I just didn't get it. What an odd way to present a "biography" on one of America's most notorious freaks. I read on despite my misgivings and learned a few things about the investigation and trial. I'm bored even writing this review. Whatever. I needed an ebook on my screen and that's what I got.

[Quanita · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! I followed the trial on the news like I think most of the country did. This is not a biography, it is putting you in the mind of Gacy. Gacy never felt remorse because he was only being "fatherly" by giving the 30+ boys and young men the "gentle gift of death". GIFT???????? Even the few who got away are permanently scarred. This book will give you the back story that wasn't in the news. If you're not afraid to get into the mind of a serial killer - this book is for you.

[jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad

Sad but interesting story, but what a failure of the system that Gacy wasn't caught sooner. Treatment was ineffective in helping him him to be diagnosed, or at least understood, and it did show how events and people in your life contribute to how you perceive yourself. Parents need to be taught how to talk to their kids, ,and treat them as people, not objects of scorn for their own short comings.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

.

It was very disturbing to read about how such a sick individual tortured so many innocent victims. I was left still with many questions as Gacy avoided many details of the murders. I think there is some mercy in not knowing the total story of the torture that occurred however, for the victims families.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5. Read Killer Clown by Terry Sullivan before this. This book is more narrative than his, detailed in a different way. If you don’t like police/courtroom procedural and prefer a narrative then this is more your speed.

[Emma · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is to long and to detailed. Could have been half the size. The writing style is all over the place and reveals information slowly and painfully. If you are interested in knowing more about John Wayne Gacy, read another book