Frank Sinatra in a Blender

by Matthew McBride

Nick Valentine has problems. He’s a drunken ex-cop who lives in his shabby office, hangs out at strip clubs, and has only one real friend—Frank Sinatra. But he’s one of the best private investigators in St. Louis. So when an inept crew robs a credit union, only Valentine can figure out who made off with the millions.

Sometimes solving a crime takes a hard guy who’s not afraid to work outside the law, and Valentine scrambles through the underbelly of St. Louis looking for answers. With every law he breaks, every drink he takes, and every Oxycontin he snorts, Valentine lurches closer to finding the truth. Or floating facedown in the Missouri River.

Brutally funny, wild, this no-holds-barred crime novel reads like Elmore Leonard on meth. Crazy and addictive, you’ll want more.

Genres: Noir, Crime, Mystery, Audiobook, Fiction, Novels, Humor

225 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 27, 2011

About the author

Matthew McBride is a former assembly-line worker living in rural Missouri. In his words, “These people are the people I know and see every day, and this is the world I know.” He is also the author of the cult hit Frank Sinatra in a Blender.

Reviews

[Kemper · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read a lot of books featuring drunk detectives in my time and it’s not like I haven’t occasionally occupied a bar stool myself, but I needed a liver transplant by the time I finished this one.

Private investigator detective Nick Valentine is asked to consult at the crime scene of an apparent suicide by his old boss, the police chief of St. Louis. Nick sets the tone for the rest of the book when he arrives with a glass of gin and snorts some oxy before going inside to talk to the cops. However, he’s still lucid enough to determine the suicide has been staged before returning to the office he lives in with his small dog, Frank Sinatra.

When the robbery of a credit union by a couple of lowlifes goes sideways, it leaves a bag of money up for grabs for every hustler in town. The police chief again asks Nick to help because of his extensive contacts in the criminal underworld in town. Nick responds by going to a strip club to see somebody and consumes the following in about 15 minutes:

2 Coronas
2 shots Crown Royal
1 Scotch
1 shot Yukon Jack
1 shot Wild Turkey
1 line of cocaine

Then he drives home to really start drinking.

Nick barely finds time to interact with other characters, generally managing just a few minutes of conversation before gulping down enough booze to kill a rhinoceros. There’s a colorful cast around him with a straight arrow police detective who grew up Amish, a couple of thugs who bet on which of them can cut the limb off someone most cleanly with an axe, a professional thief who would literally take the watch off a corpse at a funeral and an unattractive coke addict who can’t nail a stripper no matter how much money he throws at them.

Since most of what we see of Nick early on revolves around him trying to get his next drink, we don’t get a handle of him until late in the book. Is he really making a deal with a couple of people to find the money and keep it for themselves, or is he playing some kind of Sam Spade like angle in which he’s kinda sorta pretending to be crooked to solve the crime for the chief? Does Nick even know himself?

This is fun crime story that delights in its own violence and over the top behavior of its protagonist and the characters around him. It’s not for the faint hearted, but if you like your detectives drunk and your criminals stupid, this is one you should try out.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take Fear and Loathing, set in St Louis, and give the story a strong set of balls, and you've got some idea of what McBride is up to here. This story is not for everyone. If you are looking for unicorns and princesses, this is not for you. If you are looking for powerful, gritty, nasty stuff, step right in.

Armored car robberies, doublecrosses, triple crosses, booze, more booze, pills, strippers, tough guys, torture, broken limbs, smashed faces, and in the middle of all this nonsense is Frank Sinatra, Nick Valentine's best friend and the best Yorkshire Terrier this side of, well, York.
This book is a wild, crazy, sick ride filled with hapless crooks, a missing bag of money, trips to White Castle, and a guy who can't just order one drunk at a time.

McBride captures this booze-filled world perfectly. This is modern crime fiction as it should be. It is gritty, nasty, tough, and stunning. Yes, this should be a movie.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up to 4.

A dirty, gritty, drug/sex/alcohol filled hard-boiled detective romp through the seedy underground of modern day St. Louis. Almost every character, good and bad, have their fair share of vices - enough, at times, to make Dashiell Hammett blush.

Not for everyone, but if you like a quick read and do not mind detective stories with graphic violence and thinly veiled (and rampant) sexual innuendo, give this one a go.

[Brandon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Frank Sinatra in a Blender. Now THAT is an eye-catching title! I was given the option to pick any novel from New Pulp Press in exchange for a review and when I read the title of Matthew McBride’s book, the choice was easy.

Nick Valentine is the definition of a raging alcoholic. If there’s a bottle of booze within reach, you bet your ass he’s going to down it. Same goes for painkillers, cocaine and any other drug he can get his hands on. Nothing appears to be off limits. If not for the fact that the narcotics helped him produce results, he’d certainly be lying face down in a ditch. Nick is called upon by the St. Louis police to aid in the investigation of an apparent suicide by a credit union employee. When said credit union is then the subject of a robbery, Nick gets caught up in the search for a missing duffel bag stuffed with cash.

If Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino were capable of reproducing and they then raised their offspring on Frank Miller’s Sin City graphic novels, they would grow up to be Frank Sinatra in a Blender. This novel defines that old saying, “moving at breakneck speed”. I found myself having to re-read certain passages and pages because I was trying to keep up with just how fast the author was progressing the story. If you’re expecting a lull in the action, you’re going to be disappointed.

I can’t stress enough how much I enjoyed this. It’s one of the first times I can remember reading a novel and thinking, “Damn, I wish I could write something like this.” Not only does the plot lend itself to so many twists and turns, the dialogue is a breeze to read. Any detective novel can often go from good to great if the writer gives us a memorable character with a compelling inner monologue. Sure, the mystery is the driving factor behind the novel but the central character is what turns one book into a long running series. Let’s just hope McBride isn’t finished with Valentine just yet.

I’ve heard that New Pulp Press puts out some really great fiction and given how much I enjoyed this novel, I can certainly see myself visiting this publisher again. Easy 5 stars.

Cross posted on Every Read Thing

[Still · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this novel was the most fun I've had in months.
I never can do justice to the plots in the books I review so forgive me my limitations.

This slim, 200 page novel is an action packed, character driven, hyper-violent caper number that mixes equal measures of Donald E. Westlake/Richard Stark, Elmore Leonard, Charlie Stella, Scott Phillips, with a dash of Mickey Spillane tossed in.

Former cop Nick Valentine is an alcoholic beverages and pain-killers enthusiast. He works as a private investigator but mostly helps the police department providing extra-legal means of solving particularly tough cases. His partner is a Yorkshire Terrier named in honor of old Blue Eyes.
The city is St. Louis.

This particular caper is kicked off after Nick is called in to assist in a homicide investigation involving the murder of the manager of a credit union.

Highest recommendation!
I have no idea what my next read will be but I know that it won't be better than this.

Reward yourself: buy this book and add it to your own personal library.

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars
How ex-cop-turned-investigator Nick Valentine even makes it through the day on two feet, let alone solve mysteries, is beyond me. The drunk private dick is a mystery cliche that has been run into the ground for decades. But you haven't truly read a book about a heavy-drinking detective until you've read Frank Sinatra in a Blender. Nick Valentine, our protagonist with a liver made of concrete, is called in to help investigate the "suicide" of a banker. Soon, he discovers that the body is linked to a botched robbery of a credit union and joins in the blood-soaked hunt for the missing money.

Nick Valentine is such a great character to follow. He's laid-back, but still tough, and at times sensitive. He's practicing real discipline by quitting cigarettes and coffee, but he damn sure won't quit the stuff that really makes him tick: multiple shots of Southern Comfort and tequila, bottles of Corona, and snorts of Oxycontin and Percocet. And he lives in his nasty office with his best friend, Yorkshire terrier and pissing champion Frank Sinatra.

Although Nick is a great character and there are some downright hilarious moments in the book, my main problem with the story is one of my biggest pet peeves: an inactive protagonist. Through the first two-thirds of the book Nick hardly does anything other than drink and hang out with Frank, while the rest of the actual story happens around him. And you never really get a sense of how good of an investigator he really is. This really took me out of the story for most of the book's first half. I wish more attention was paid to involving the main character in the book's driving action than to the long passages describing heavy drinking and drug use. I swear, it seems like everyone in the story was either snorting something, using a needle, or getting drunk. It wasn't until the last third that Nick started taking real action. Once this happens, the story flies off the page in well-written action sequences and a great pace. Just wish it happened earlier.

But again, I loved reading about Nick and I think he would make a really awesome series character. There's potential for a great franchise here. The author is fairly new, having only written two novels so far, so here's hoping he has more stories featuring Nick Valentine to tell! I would read 'em!

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nick Valentine is an unusual PI, working alongside the police to provide a link between the blue and the street rather than competing with them (as is the case for many a PI). That said, Valentine sure isn't a squeaky clean and lawful member of the community; he’s a perpetual drunk with his own agenda and in FRANK SINATRA IN A BLENDER, that agenda comprises of one simple factoid – getting rich quick off the idiocy of criminals.

I was really impressed by FRANK SINATRA IN A BLENDER. Everything about it oozes noir and exemplifies all that is great about the damaged protagonist. Valentine is tainted, corrupt (in a redeemable way), yet somehow honest and reliable, a self proclaimed functioning alcoholic. This mash-up of traits and descriptions actually works in his favor by enabling him to command respect from both the law and lawless alike.

FRANK SINATRA IN A BLENDER is engaging, violent, multi-faceted with multiple viewpoints all equally enjoyable. This is really a stunning debut and a must for fans of fiction – yep, it’s simply too good to be confined to a specific genre enthusiast.

[Johnny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, violent, and one-of-a-kind, everyone (but not their mother) should check out FRANK SINATRA IN A BLENDER. The story is fast and loose, but that's just how it should be. If it weren't rough around the edges, it wouldn't work. It would be like recording a really good punk band without any distortion. Writing isn't about perfect, it's about communication. And through his style, McBride tells exactly the story he set out to tell.

The characters, locations, and actions never fall into familiar territory. There always seems to be a detail or trait that is purely original and so damn fun that you'll find yourself smiling throughout this tale. This is a story that's hard not to like (although with the caveat that if you don't like foul-mouthed violence, it may be a hard sell. But I've never understood those folks).

McBride is definitely an author to watch. This is his first novel and just a taste of his raw talent. It's going to be exciting to see what he does with more words under his belt. Prepare to feel the aftershocks.

[Shamus McCarty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jesus Christ, that was intense.

If Guy Ritchie moved to St. Louis, pulled a reverse Madonna and lost the accent, this would be his newest movie. It would have to be produced by an indie company to keep all the violence and not cheesed up like a Wayne’s Brothers movie. And the result would be a cult classic that got spread through word of mouth and posts like, “Holy crap you have to watch this movie!” on Facebook.

If this book were a cup of chili it’d be spicy ass chili. You’d take a bite then instantly start reverse blowing and reaching for a glass of water. If McBride were there I imagine he’d slap your hand and tell you to stop acting like a bitch.

For a first novel, the writing is fantastic. I like to update on GR when I’m reading and come across a great 2 – 4 sentence combo. With this book I had to stop myself, because they happened almost every other page when the main character was having his beautifully abrasive dialog.

Here’s a longer one. The main character wakes up after having the crap beat out of him:

“I think he’s awake.” [..]

“What? Nothing smart to say? No more wise arse?”

I opened my eye. Tried to talk, but the words came hard.

“Fuck the Beatles.”

Even through the small part of my eye that worked I could see the British cocksucker do a double take as the wind was sucked from his lungs unexpectedly.

This book is really %ing good. If you can handle copious amounts of violence, you’ll love it. If not, you’ll quickly puke upon cracking the book.

[Stewart Sternberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read. This was like discovering a new Westlake or Leonard. Bad men behaving badly. The protagonist is like the Hunter S. Thompson of crime.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

Frank Sinatra in a Blender by Matthew McBride has been on my TBR pile for quite some time and it is one of those TBR books where after being read the reader asks him or herself what took so long.

Nick Valentine is a former St. Louis police officer with direct ties to the current police chief and a lover of too much booze and too much dope. While with these flaws, Valentine still has a moral center when it comes to most things, but with other things, like dealing with nasty people, he prefers to deal with them in ways that most people are not willing to do so.

Valentine is asked to examine the scene of a reported suicide and quickly determines there is much more to the "suicide" than meets the eye. Soon, he is also roped into finding out the people responsible for a violent and lucrative armed robbery of a credit union resulting in the loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The novel then follows Valentine's pursuit of the unanswered questions and reads like a hard-core detective noir from the fifties brought forward and dropped right down into modern times.

Frank Sinatra in a Blender is full of the type of violence expected in such a pulpy novel along with witty, smart-assed comments and replies by those involved. The novel is highly recommended to those that enjoy urban noir fiction and film noir movies from the 40s and 50s.

[Sara the Book Slayer · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[4cats · Rating 4 out of 5]

Modern pulp noir, well crafted, with characters who shock and entertain.

[Charles Dee Mitchell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Down and dirty noir fiction that I read on my Kindle app while eating alone it restaurants. This proved at times not to be the wisest choice. The Frank Sinatra of the title is the protagonist's Yorkshire terrier, and yes there is a blender involved.

The plot is pretty basic: Money stolen from a heist passes through many hands, several of which are eventually severed from their owners. Along with many other body parts. This is thanks to a duo of sadistic clean-up men who work for the comically idiotic "mastermind" of the heist. The good guys are an obese, cocaine-sniffing all-round shady character who knows a lot of people; a professional thief; and, an alcoholic detective for whom that description does not do justice. To the degree that readers are expected to find his drinking realistic, it is a testament to what a just how tough an organism the human body is.

Relentless violence and perpetual reversals keep the plot moving, and to McBride's credit his black humor for the most part works.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I might have liked this more if little Frank hadn't been so horrifically injured by the bad guys. I also felt like I needed a 12 step program for drug addiction and alcoholism just from reading about all the booze and pills and blow... I was super excited because the Intro to this is written by Ken Bruen, one of my favorite noir writers. I always felt sympathy or some degree of compassion for Bruen's Jack Taylor character. However, this guy, Nick Valentine, was somehow less believable, too over-the-top. I liked the story though so I probably would read another by this author.

[Benoit Lelièvre · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never in my life, I have read something even remotely similar. Frank Sinatra In A Blender redefines my notions of funny and brutal all at once. It makes every gangster movie Guy Ritchie ever made look like "The Sound Of Music" and it would have probably sent Raymond Chandler in therapy for many years if Matthew McBride would have lived back then. A mind-bending read and a whole lot of fun.

[Jake · Rating 3 out of 5]

When you dial up the alcoholic ex-cop PI routine up to a 10, add a heavy dose of slapstick comedy and stupid criminals, this is what you get. Parts of this book are so much fun and very relatable, particularly the references to White Castle (my stomach churned just reading them). But this book desperately need a better editor. The first person perspectives from our protagonist were well-written but the 3rd person narratives from the bad guys felt too similar. There’s a really good crime novel in here, a funny one. McBride could have used someone to help him find it. I’ll read more of his stuff.

Also, definitely DO NOT read this if you love dogs. I’m not kidding.

[Vaelin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another thrilling read from McBride! Some really good (dark) laughs in the mix too.

[Gef · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first heard about this novel some months back when it was reviewed on the Booked Podcast, thought it sounded really promising, then found a review copy in my mailbox one day. Two hundred and twenty Oxy-feuled pages later, this uproarious look at the underbelly of St. Louis may be one of my favorite reads of 2013. It at least has my favorite title of 2013.

Nick Valentine, a St. Louis P.I.--don't forget functioning alcoholic and painkiller addict--gets called in to consult on what looks like a suicide but turns out to be a shabbily disguised murder. The manager for a credit union is dead and the next day that same credit union is robbed by two bumbling crooks in a milk truck. Now, for all intents and purposes, a guy with as many vices as Valentine should be persona non grata as far as lending a helping hand to law enforcement goes, but his father was a cop killed in the line of duty, and his father's old partner is now the chief of police and kind of a godfather for Valentine. With that kind of clout on his side, Valentine seems able to get away with a lot, including snorting Oxycontin in his car before going to check out a crime scene crawling with boys in blue.

So, in this piece of noir, if Valentine is what passes for a hero, just imagine what the villains are like. When not getting a first hand perspective of Valentine's ordeal, alternating chapters offer glimpses to the crooks in questions, as well as the even more sinister individuals who want to get their hands on the money. It's often said that real life criminals are far less intelligent than their fictional counterparts. Well, I don't think anyone in McBride's novel are card-carrying MENSA members, but what they lack in brains they make up for in bravado and brutality.

Matthew McBride's debut novel takes what starts out as an otherwise ordinary crime story, but viewed through the lenses of a heavily flawed detective and downright wretched criminals. Even the supporting player who comes closest to wearing a white hat, an Amish ex-pat turned supercop, has an air of bad intentions. If Valentine has a redeeming quality, it is the love he has for his dog, Frank Sinatra. Okay, it's a love/hate relationship, really. The yippy Yorkie would try my patience, that's for sure, but Valentine seems at peace with the manic, slightly deranged mutt's daily routine while cooped up in his apartment. And if you're curious as to why the dog is named Frank Sinatra, and why there is reference to a blender in the novel's title, well you're just gonna have to read the book to find out for yourself.

If you like anti-heroes, you'll love Nick Valentine. Well, love is a strong word. You'll certainly be riveted. And while the St. Louis tourism bureau might not be in a hurry to use this novel as promotional material, crime fiction lovers everywhere should flock to it in droves. Captivating characters, an increasingly intense plot, a whiskey-soaked sense of humor, and a memorable payoff at the very end. I don't think I could have asked for more from this novel. But I will ask for more from its author, as I'm keen to see what he does with his second novel.

[Elizabeth A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

To say Nick Valentine is a unique individual would be putting it lightly. Along with his partner Frank Sinatra – no, really – he works as a private detective in St. Louis. He likes to think there’s no case he can’t solve, and he’s damn sure there’s no drink or drug he doesn’t like.

When a credit union is robbed and the police have trouble picking up a decent lead Valentine finds himself front and center on the trail of the robbers…and the money. And he’s not the only one, as an oddball assortment of the worst examples of humanity St. Louis has to offer are all hot on the trail as well.

From dealer and go-to guy Big Tony and his partner Doyle, to local heavy hitter Mr. Parker and his enforcers Sid and Johnny No Nuts, author Matthew McBride has populated Frank Sinatra in a Blender with one of the most colorful cast of characters you’ll ever run across.

Before you know it Valentine is up to his ass in double crossing bad guys, suspicious police officers, and enough liquor and Oxycontin to drop an ox. Add to that copious amounts of strippers, car chases, and shootouts and you’re in for one hell of a no-holds-barred ride. Oh, and don’t forget that chainsaw.

It’s a tribute to McBride’s deliciously warped sense of humor that he can make even the most repugnant characters like Sid and Johnny No Nuts literally laugh out loud funny. Their combination of extreme sadism and outrageous incompetence really allows for no other reaction. There’s one scene in particular where Sid and Johnny take a very unfortunate individual to the basement of an abandoned church to engage in some decidedly unChristian activity that will have you shaking your head at the sheer audacity of McBride’s writing.

Frank Sinatra in a Blender is some of the most wickedly dark, hardboiled writing to come along in quite some time. Those active in the online world of short crime fiction have known about Matthew McBride’s work for a while now – the man’s affinity for chainsaws is legendary – but with the release of this brilliantly original first novel McBride is finally poised to garner some of the mainstream recognition he so richly deserves. If you’ve not picked up Frank Sinatra in a Blender yet, for the love of all things noir, do yourself a favor and get on this! Not only will you enjoy a hell of a read, you may just get a contact high in the process.

[Rob Kitchin · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Frank Sinatra in a Blender, Matthew McBride takes a typical PI story and max everything up to eleven -- the hardboiled style, the excessive drug-taking, the violence and mayhem. Nick Valentine used to be a decent cop, but is now a man living on the edge, bedding down in his office which he shares with Frank Sinatra, his Yorkshire Terrier, who can’t function without excessive quantities of alcohol or drugs, travels round with a small armoury, and is familiar with the underbelly of St Louis. He doesn’t solve cases with subtlety or in ways that are always legal, and he’s quite happy to work with both cops and criminals. He’s the kind of character that appeals to my baser tastes in crime fiction, and the caper plot and all show and no tell style of storytelling meant that Frank Sinatra in a Blender should have pushed all my buttons. However, whilst the tale does have its merits as an escapist, excessive, fast-moving story, I never fully connected with either Valentine or the yarn. In part, I think this is because the tale is told through the first-person voice of Valentine which curiously never modulates despite excessive drug-taking. Moreover, the prose is workmanlike, the characterization is largely skin deep, and the plot is premised on the criminals and cops being complete idiots and has a number of plot devices that felt a little too clunky. Given the style and alcohol-fuelled state of the characters, the story is also thin on humour beyond parody, such as wisecracks and sarcasm. The result is a fast paced, action-packed tale, but one that didn’t quite live up to its promise. Nevertheless, it was for the most part an entertaining read.

[Ross Cumming · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know the feeling when you browse through all your unread books on your Kindle and also the pile of unread books in the cupboard but you just can't seem to see anything that you want to read ? That's how I felt on Sunday and just by chance I was browsing on Twitter when I came across a tweet from Frank Bill wishing Matthew McBride a 'Happy Birthday' and urging people to purchase his debut novel 'Frank Sinatra in a Blender'. I knew as soon as I saw the title that I just had to buy and read this right away and I was not disappointed.
Our hero, alcoholic, pill popping, ex-cop and now P.I. Nicky Valentine is investigating a Credit Union robbery, on his own behalf and also helping out the local P.D. as The Chief has a soft spot for Nicky. The plot is very Elmore Leonardesque with double crosses aplenty and where the good guys are just one step away from being bad guys. With characters such as Johnny No Nuts, English Sam, Flames and Bruiser I think you can get a good flavour of what the novel is all about.
This is great stuff and just right up my street and just what I was looking for. It's very violent and gory but also very funny and you've just got to suspend belief for the time it takes to read the novel, which wasn't long in my case. Looking forward to reading McBride's next offering and possibly even the return of Nicky Valentine would be most welcome.
P.S. - Frank Sinatra, of the title, is Nicky's dog !

[Aj · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's a warning label that should be attached to this novel. That label should read in great big letters:

Please secure every part of your anatomy, clothing, concepts of what makes a hero, morality, priggishness and any other item of faith your life that determine your concepts of decent behavior, common courtesy, the Boy Scout Oath or a firm belief in the legal system of the US by god of A. After securing these items with as strong a bundle of duct tape as you can make and with a great deal of care . . . throw the items out the nearest window into the closest burning building after soaking said items in the highest octane racing fuel you can find and Run! Like! Hell!

*tip: It would probably be advisable to get stinking drunk on Mad Dog 20/20 and as many uppers/downers/spinners/flippers/and finger poppin' mind-rippers you can find before reading Frank Sinatra In A Blender. You'll need that support to keep up with the events in Matthew McBride's first novel.

"Sinatra" is a jet propelled, nitro fueled, rocket ride roller coaster of style and skill that'll leave you with your hair blown straight back and the widest grin you ever had plastered all over your silly face.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Frank Sinatra in a Blender is the first full-length novel by Matthew McBride. Set in the underbelly of St. Louis, the story follows the mishaps of former cop, now private detective, Nick Valentine. An unapologetic alcoholic and pain pill junkie, Valentine’s only love is for his roommate, a Yorkshire terrier mix named Frank Sinatra. When Nick agrees to help the police investigate the suspicious suicide of a credit union manager, his radar goes off when the very same credit union is robbed the next day. Determined to retrieve the stolen money, Valentine pairs up with two thoroughly disreputable thugs and the race is on as to who can find and keep the stolen cash. This freshman novel simply does not work. Replete with expletives and infused throughout with violence, it comes across as formulaic and static. The reader never gets a sense for Valentine as a character; he exists solely as a receptacle for pharmaceuticals, booze and the tiresome one-liner. The endearing character of Frank Sinatra adds some levity to an otherwise dreary slog but even the Chairman of the Board can’t save this mess.

[Gannonwb · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pulpishly Noir?! Noirishly Pulpish?! Someone should invent a term for when an author goes overboard with the pulp fiction. There is no one likeable in this book, certainly not the protagonist, nor any of the main players. Possibly the detective, but he's given short shrift. At its best this story reads like Tarrentino's "Pulp Fiction" where you just don't know what's going to happen, but in Pulp Fiction, there were some likeable characters who you could root for. This author defintely has talent, he writes well and is inventive as hell. But whoever edited this book should be dope slapped. Is Columbian Cocaine a new strain of drug from Ohio or are we talking about the country of Colombia? There's a slew of other typos as well. (Maybe I've got some typos in this review, there's no spell check, but then again you didn'y pay 10 bucks to read what I had to say didja?!)

[HillbillyWizard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Matthew McBride makes me proud to be a Missourian. Set in St. Louis, Frank Sinatra in a Blender made me long for The Hill and Ted Drewes which offers the best frozen custard in the universe. The characters in this novel were as bitter, mean and sour as Cardinals fans are about the 1985 World Series. The ex-cop-private investigator protagonist had me from page one when he was walking into a crime scene snorting Oxycontin and said in a noir voice, "Chemical motivation cleansed my nerves as the world inside my head exploded and painted my mind with raw enthusiasm." That's the second best description I've heard next to Robert Downey Jr. stating that heroin is like floating on a cloud while God massages your shoulders. Yes, Matthew McBride has a fan for life and I can't wait to read his third offering which hopefully will come out soon.

[Ed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nick Valentine is a St. Louis ex-cop, now private detective with an addiction to alcohol, drugs and the Yorkshire Terror he rescued named Frank Sinatra. The Police Chief asks Nick for his assistance in solving a Credit Union heist where the thieves used a bread truck for the getaway. Asked rhetorically who would use a bread truck for a robbery, Nick answered "Bakers?". We are not talking brilliant villains here, more in line with the Elmore Leonard variety. Funny but brutally sadistic as well. This was basically an action driven plot spiced with double and triple crossing bad guys but most entertaining for me was Nick's relationship with Frank Sinatra. See, you can beat up and torture Nick for the whereabouts of the stolen loot, but it's most definitely not a good idea to mistreat Frank Sinatra.

[Patrick O'Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't usually read dog books. But then again I didn't know the Frank Sinatra in Matthew McBride's Frank Sinatra in a Blender was a dog. And for a brief second when I discovered that it was I was almost tempted to put the book down – almost. To say McBride's protagonist Nick Valentine drinks like… well, like a fish doesn't even begin to describe his ability to consume alcohol. Or do drugs. Or inflict much violence. His scruples are as non-existent as he is able to face life sober. So, yeah it's safe to say he's flawed and tad venerable. And then he's got a dog, one of those small ones. Really, I'm not sure why the damn dog was in there – except to create one of the best titles known to mankind. At least it wasn't a cat mystery…

[Fiona Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

You will not be able to put this down..... once you have started you just can't stop. Your hands will fuse to your kindle, your joints will ache yet you will keep reading! Yes there is a great story, yes there are original characters, yes - oh my - there is a lot of violence and it is all wonderful. From start to finish this book never gives up its pace or humour. McBride is an unstoppable machine and he is going to blow everybody else out of the water with this highly original debut novel. I've warned you..you might not survive this ride!

[Frederick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Frank Sinatra in a Blender by Matthew McBride - I thoroughly enjoyed this book; totally noir, but twisted and dark. Not over the top though like so many come across. This was just right. A nice balance of gratuitous violence and wicked humor. And Nick Valentine, the perfect protagonist for this story; a tough son-of-a-bitch, but totally flawed and he knows it. A must read for fans of noir or hardboiled novels.