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Let Me Go

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Unforgettable and deeply arresting, Let Me Go is a haunting memoir of World War II that “won't let you go until you've finished reading the last page” (The Washington Post Book World). In 1941, in Berlin, Helga Schneider's mother abandoned her along with her father and younger brother. Let Me Go recounts Helga's final meeting with her ailing mother in a Vienna nursing home some sixty years after World War II, in which Helga confronts a nightmare: her mother's lack of repentance about her past as a Nazi SS guard at concentration camps, including Auschwitz, where she was responsible for untold acts of torture. With spellbinding detail, Schneider recalls their conversation, evoking her own struggle between a daughter's sense of obligation and the inescapable horror of her mother's deeds.

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First published January 1, 2001

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About the author

Helga Schneider

35 books53 followers
Nasce nel 1937 in Slesia (territorio tedesco che dopo la seconda guerra mondiale sarà assegnato alla Polonia). Nel 1941 Helga e suo fratello Peter, rispettivamente di 4 anni e 19 mesi, con il padre già al fronte, vengono abbandonati a Berlino dalla madre, che arruolatasi come ausiliaria nelle SS diverrà guardiana al campo femminile di Ravensbruck e successivamente di Auschwitz-Birkenau.
Helga e Peter vengono accolti nella lussuosa villa della sorella del padre, zia Margarete (dopo la guerra morirà per suicidio), in attesa che la nonna paterna arrivi dalla Polonia per occuparsi dei nipoti. La donna accudisce i bambini per circa un anno nell'appartamento situato a Berlin-Niederschönhausen (Pankow), dove i piccoli avevano vissuto in precedenza con i genitori.
Durante una licenza dal fronte, il padre conosce una giovane berlinese, Ursula, e nel 1942 decide di sposarla. Ma la matrigna accetta solo il piccolo Peter e fa internare Helga prima in un istituto di correzione per bambini difficili, e poi in un collegio per ragazzi indesiderati dalle famiglie, o provenienti da nuclei familiari falliti.
Dal collegio, che si trova a Oranienburg-Eden, presso Berlino, nell'autunno del 1944 la zia acquisita Hilde (sorella della matrigna) riconduce Helga in una Berlino ormai ridotta a un cumulo di rovine e macerie. Dagli ultimi mesi del 1944 fino alla fine della guerra, Helga e la sua famiglia sono costretti a vivere in una cantina a causa dei continui bombardamenti effettuati dagli inglesi e dagli americani, patendo il freddo e la fame.
Nel dicembre del 1944 Helga e suo fratello Peter, grazie alla zia Hilde collaboratrice nell'ufficio di propaganda del ministro Joseph Goebbels, vengono scelti, insieme a molti altri bambini berlinesi, per essere "i piccoli ospiti del Führer", null'altro che un'operazione propagandistica escogitata da Goebbels, che li porterà nel famoso bunker del Führer dove incontreranno Adolf Hitler in persona, descritto dalla scrittrice come un uomo vecchio, dal passo strascicato, con la faccia piena di rughe e la stretta di mano molle e sudaticcia.
Nel 1948 Helga e famiglia rimpatriano in Austria stabilendosi in un primo momento ad Attersee, accolti dai nonni paterni. Dal 1963 Helga vive in Italia dove ha pubblicato molti libri.
Nel 1971, venuta a sapere dell'esistenza ancora in vita della madre che l'aveva abbandonata, sente il desiderio di andarla a visitare a Vienna dove la donna vive. Scoprirà che la madre, dopo 30 anni, non ha rinnegato nulla del suo passato, di cui conserva orgogliosamente come caro ricordo la divisa di SS che vorrebbe che Helga indossasse e alla quale vuole regalare gioielli, di dubbia provenienza. Stravolta da quell'incontro, tuttavia Helga vorrà, con non diversi risultati, tornare a trovare la madre nel 1998. Da questo secondo incontro negativo e traumatico a causa della fede irriducibile della madre nell'ideologia nazista nasce il libro Lasciami andare, madre, uscito in Italia nel 2001.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 493 reviews
Profile Image for Steven Godin.
2,779 reviews3,321 followers
April 30, 2018
Before getting to the actual book, I was staggered to learn Helga Schneider's mother, a truly wicked woman and member of the Waffen-SS, served only a six-year prison term for minor war crimes, which, to rub salt into the wounds of the Jews, was reduced down to the fact of complete cooperation with an Allied investigating commission. Six years!, minor crimes?, what went on within the walls of Birkenau can hardly be seen as minor. OK, so she was only a guard, and nowhere near as bad as some of the other monsters who carried out mass killings. But selecting women prisoners for brothels, tearing screaming children away from their mothers, rifle butting, assisting in ghastly experiments, and on the whole, showing absolutely no remorse whatsoever for her role in the final solution looks pretty bad to me. She should have received a far more severe sentence.

So, it's 1998, and after a 30 year wait, in which she discovered her mother's dark past, an older Helga received a letter asking to visit her 90 year-old mother, Traudi, now residing in a nursing home and in poor health. Traudi, during the war, cruelly abandoned her two young children, Helga and Peter, to join the SS, believing totally in the extermination of the Jews. Once the two finally meet, her mother cunningly first denies ever having children, but comes around, and vividly recounts to her daughter the horrors that played out during the time with the SS, and the reasons for walking out on her family. They talk, one in disbelief, the other in stubborn pride. I suppose Helga was looking for some sort of apology after all these years, not just for her children, but all those exterminated. Forget it. Once a Nazi, always a Nazi. She may have been half dead, with a sunken face, poor eyesight, and rancid breath, but this old hag clearly still had SS blood pumping through her knackered veins. She was, quite frankly, despicable. I would have thrown her out the window.

Whilst Helga listened on, Traudi's face would light up when going into details on her disgust for the Jews, she practically blamed them for just about anything and everything. You would think at 90 years-old, a softer side may have emerged, being the final time she would get to see her offspring, but there wasn't much to say about any positives in the outcome. Helga really was torn between hating her mother and feeling sorry for her. Did she find a place in her heart to forgive?, by the end it's difficult to tell.
Although dealing with some powerful themes, for me, the book read far too much like a novel. Her mother was no doubt playing around with her marbles upstairs, and I took pity on how painful this must have been for Helga, but on an emotional level I was left feeling a little empty. It's no doubt carried with a heart rendering premise, but the fact of me reading many other hard hitting books on the Holocaust, this just didn't touch me in the ticker, or punch me in the guts as much.

A decent read, but with mixed results.
Profile Image for Lisa Vegan.
2,902 reviews1,309 followers
April 21, 2020
I finished this unsuual memoir in less than 24 hours.

Sparse, powerful, and compelling.

I finished it the evening before Holocaust Remembrance Day, which is fitting. (The internationally recognized date for Holocaust Remembrance Day corresponds to the 27th day of Nisan on the Hebrew calendar. It marks the anniversary of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. In Hebrew, Holocaust Remembrance Day is called Yom Hashoah. In 2020 the date it falls on is April 21.)

This is a raw first person account. The crux is the last meeting a daughter has with her mother, a mother with whom she has had very little contact, a mother who is a Nazi war criminal. A daughter trying to get something (perhaps some motherly love, perhaps some understanding) and who’s also trying to pull away, wanting finally a conclusion, an ending. I was grateful that this wasn’t just about this last meeting between these two women. It was a better account because it included memories of the author’s and stories that had been told to her. Otherwise it wouldn’t have felt like a full book to me.

Understated horror. This is not a comfort read. Nothing was comfortable. Not Helga’s upbringing after her mother abandoned her, nothing about the only two meetings she had with her mother as an adult, nothing about her mother during the conversation or her mother prior to it, including her times in the camps, and nothing about the Holocaust details.

I’ve read probably hundreds of Holocaust books but none quite like this one.

For me it was too short and I wanted more details. I’m glad I read it though.

It was good, important. I “really liked” it.
Profile Image for CanadianReader.
1,293 reviews178 followers
January 23, 2018
In 1941, when Helga Schneider was four and her brother Peter not even two years of age, they were abandoned by their mother. Their father, Stefan, was on the front, fighting for Hitler at the time, and an aunt and their paternal grandmother stepped in to care for the children. Soon after, Stefan remarried. Helga was not to see her mother, Traudi, for another thirty years. From Bologna (where she’d moved in 1963 as a sixteen year old) Helga travelled with her young son to Vienna to see Traudi who, she learned, had abandoned her children because of her fervent commitment to the National Socialist Party. In fact, Traudi had been a fanatical servant of the Fuhrer. During this 1971 meeting, Traudi showed complete indifference to her grandchild. Her chief interest was in proudly displaying her SS uniform to her daughter. She offered Helga a handful of heavy gold jewellery, stolen from Jews (it might come in handy one day) and revealed that she had participated in the exterminations at Auschwitz-Birkenau.

But Helga Schneider’s book isn’t about the 1971 meeting—after which she determined she would expunge the woman from memory. It is actually an account of the final, two-hour meeting she and her cousin Eva had with Traudi in 1998, twenty-seven years later. Gisela, a Viennese friend of Traudi, had written to Helga in August, 1998 to report that Traudi’s health was failing. She had been behaving in increasingly bizarre ways: purging recently purchased items from her apartment, cleaning obsessively—floors flooded with pail upon pail of water, attempting to order coffins for her dead children, and regularly getting lost in the city. She was now in a home for the aged and likely had little time left. If Helga wanted to see her . . . well, perhaps this was the last chance. Helga made the journey. Her book details the intense, emotional confrontation she had with her mother, a true believer if there ever was one. Traudi had begun as an “assistant” to the doctors who performed muscle-regeneration and bone-grafting experiments on prisoners in Ravensbruck. She had then chosen to undergo “dehumanization training” in order to work at Birkenau.

LET ME GO is an appalling and riveting document. Schneider judiciously incorporates some material from a text on Nazi medical experimentation and offers a play-by-play of the turbulent and complex emotions she experienced while in the presence of the frail ninety year old who was plainly cognitively compromised, yet possessed a razor-sharp recall of her time as one of Hitler’s henchwomen—one of his Furies.

I know of no other written text that details the kind of encounter Helga Schneider had with Traudi. However, the book put me in mind of the equally powerful 2006 documentary INHERITANCE , whose subject is Monika Hertwig, daughter of the infamous “Butcher of Plaszow”, Amon Goeth (famously “channeled” by Ralph Fiennes for Steven Spielberg’s movie SCHINDLER’S LIST).

Schneider’s book is short and can easily be read in a single sitting. I wish that the author had documented how she initially managed to find her mother at all and that she had also provided more information about her childhood, adolescence, and her life after the 1998 meeting. One can only come by these details by reading the press around the book and the relatively recent film, starring Juliet Stevenson, based on Schneider’s harrowing final encounter with the woman who had abandoned her fifty-seven years before.
Profile Image for George K..
2,744 reviews367 followers
February 14, 2021
Όταν τελειώνω βιβλία σαν κι αυτό της Χέλγκα Σνάιντερ, ειλικρινά δυσκολεύομαι να συγκεντρωθώ και να γράψω μια κριτική με αρχή, μέση και τέλος. Είναι τόσες πολλές οι σκέψεις που περνάνε από το μυαλό μου και τόσα πολλά τα συναισθήματα που νιώθω κατά τη διάρκεια αλλά και μετά την ανάγνωση τέτοιου είδους βιβλίων, οπότε πού μυαλό για κριτική της προκοπής; Συγκλονιστικό βιβλίο, τι να λέμε τώρα.

Η Σνάιντερ περιγράφει με καθηλωτικό τρόπο την τελευταία συνάντηση με τη μητέρα της, το 1998, σε μια πανσιόν για ηλικιωμένους, είκοσι επτά χρόνια μετά από την τελευταία φορά που την είδε για λίγες ώρες και σχεδόν εξήντα χρόνια από τότε που μια μέρα η μητέρα της την εγκατέλειψε σε ηλικία τεσσάρων ετών (καθώς επίσης τον μικρότερο αδερφό της και τον πατέρα της), για να γίνει μέλος των SS και μετέπειτα δεσμοφύλακας σε κάποια από τα στρατόπεδα συγκέντρωσης των Ναζί (π.χ. Μπίρκεναου), στα οποία εκατοντάδες χιλιάδες Εβραίοι εξοντώθηκαν.

Η Χέλγκα Σνάιντερ δεν ένιωσε ποτέ τη μητρική αγάπη, και ίσως με τη συνάντηση αυτή ήθελε να καταλάβει γιατί η μητέρα της έκανε ό,τι έκανε, αλλά και αν έστω και την τελευταία στιγμή μετάνιωσε γι' αυτά που έκανε, τόσο στην οικογένειά της, όσο φυσικά και στα στρατόπεδα συγκέντρωσης. Κατά τη διάρκεια της αφήγησης πηγαίνουμε μπρος-πίσω στον χρόνο, και από τη μια γινόμαστε μάρτυρες του προσωπικού-οικογενειακού δράματος της συγγραφέως, ενώ από την άλλη μαθαίνουμε ορισμένα από τα... κατορθώματα της μητέρας της, που δεν μετάνιωσε ποτέ και που μερικές φορές περιέγραφε καταστάσεις και σκέψεις με μια κάποια υπερηφάνεια, αλλά και ψυχρότητα.

Η συνάντηση αυτή ήταν μια τραυματική εμπειρία για τη συγγραφέα, που όμως έπρεπε να γίνει, ώστε να κλείσει μια και καλή ένα σκοτεινό κομμάτι της ζωής της. Το βιβλίο είναι εξαιρετικά καλογραμμένο και αφόρητα ρεαλιστικό και ειλικρινές, λόγω της θεματολογίας του δεν μπορώ να πω ότι το απόλαυσα (όπως π.χ. απολαμβάνω συνήθως τα αστυνομικά θρίλερ), όμως είναι ένα βιβλίο που θα θυμάμαι για καιρό. Και πιστεύω ότι είναι ένα απαραίτητο ανάγνωσμα για όσους ασχολούνται με τον Β' Παγκόσμιο Πόλεμο, και ειδικότερα με το Ολοκαύτωμα.
April 23, 2022
Άσε με να φύγω μητέρα. Να φύγω από εσένα, να φύγω από τις τύψεις και τις ενοχές που μου προκαλείς, να φύγω από το παρελθόν σου που χτίζει το παρόν μου, να φύγω από την άρνηση σου να μετανιώσεις που ήσουν εθελόντρια δεσμοφύλακας που βασάνιζε και θανάτωνε Εβραίους κάθε φύλου και ηλικίας. Να φύγω μακριά από την αγάπη σου για τον
Μεγάλο Αγώνα του σχιζοφρενή ήρωα του ολοκαυτώματος και των
Ακολούθων του.

Μητέρα. Μαμά. Μάνα.

Εγκατάλειψη. Απώλεια. Εξαφάνιση. Καθήκον. Συνειδησιακή επιλογή μακριά από τα παιδιά σου. Δολοφόνος. Στυγνή εγκληματίας. Μισαλλοδοξία. Μνησικακία. Υπακοή. Αφοσίωση σε μαρτυρικές και βασανιστικές λύσεις για το καλό της ανθρωπότητας. Άρια φυλή και πολλά άλλα που σε κάνουν να ντρέπεσαι επειδή ανήκεις στην ανθρώπινη ράτσα.


Αυτό το σύντομο βιβλίο το οποίο ξεκίνησα και σταμάτησα να διαβάζω στην τελευταία σελίδα του είναι μια επιφανειακή προσέγγιση στις πανανθρώπινες θυσίες και στις προφάσεις του ολοκαυτώματος για να δικαιολογήσει τα ειδεχθή και απεχθή, τα αποτρόπαια, τα απάνθρωπα, τα παράλογα και τα παρανοϊκά που συνέβησαν κατά την άνοδο και την επιτυχή κάμψη του χιτλερικού παραληρήματος.
Ήταν μια ενδιαφέρουσα σύντομη ιστορία που μας εξιστόρησε την σχέση μεταξύ μιας μάνας ναζί, ταγμένης στο κόμμα και την γερμανική ��νωτερότητα του κανιβαλισμού και μιας κόρης που εγκαταλείφθηκε απο τη μαμά της όταν ήταν νήπιο,για να την ξαναδεί έκτοτε άλλες δυο φορές,μετά απο δεκάδες χρόνια πλήρους εγκατάλειψης και ολοκληρωτικής απουσίας απο τη ζωή τη δίκη της, του αδελφού της, και του πατέρα τους.

Γραμμένο σχεδόν ως γράμμα προς τη μητέρα της, η γραφή της Σνάιντερ είναι οικεία, με τρόπο που δεν καταφέρνουν να πετύχουν τα απομνημονεύματα γενικώς.
Δεν είναι απλώς μια αντανάκλαση της σχέσης της, αλλά μια σπαρακτική προσπάθεια να προσπαθήσει να καταλάβει και να συγχωρήσει τη μητέρα της για τη βαρβαρότητα και την πίστη της προς τους εγκληματίες που κατάστρεψαν τον πλανήτη από κει και ύστερα.

Η μητέρα παραμένει αμετανόητη στα 90 της, κατηγορώντας όλους τους άλλους για την τελική αποτυχία του εθνικοσοσιαλισμού

Πολλά χρόνια, πολλά άσχημα κατάλοιπα, λίγα λόγια, καμία συγγνώμη, αδυναμία συγχώρεσης και απέραντη σιωπή πάνω από τις κραυγές στα στρατόπεδα συγκέντρωσης των Εβραίων και των υπολοίπων που δεν πληρούσαν τα κριτήρια για να ανήκουν στην άρια φυλή.
Ήταν μια ενδιαφέρουσα ιστορία αναφορικά με τη σχέση μητέρας - κόρης μετά από ατελείωτα χρόνια ζωής και θανάτου.
Παρόλα αυτά σχετικά με τον Β’ΠΠ και το ολοκαύτωμα έχω διαβάσει πολλά βιβλία σπουδαία, ανεκτίμητα σαν ιστορία και πολιτιστική κληρονομιά, βιβλία που ξυράφιασαν την ψυχή μου, που συγκλόνισαν το είναι μου, που ανατρίχιασαν την καρδιά μου, που με έπεισαν ακόμη και Γι αυτούς οι οποίοι μαγεύτηκαν από τον αγώνα του νάνου που ποθούσε να γίνει γίγαντας.
Άσε
Με
Να
Φύγω
Μ
Η
Τ
Ε
Ρ
Α

Η αντιπαράθεση είναι γεμάτη φρίκη -- παραδοχές συμμετοχής σε φρικτά ιατρικά «πειράματα», ενοχή για βασανιστήρια κρατουμένων και σταθερή πίστη στις πεποιθήσεις του [...] κόμματος, ακόμη και δεκαετίες μετά τον πόλεμο.

Απέναντι σε αυτή τη συζήτηση, η Σνάιντερ προσθέτει κομμάτια από τη δική της ιστορία, μεγαλώνοντας με μια δόλια θετή μητέρα στη μεταπολεμική περίοδο.

Αυτό που λείπει για μένα είναι οποιαδήποτε συσσώρευση στη συζήτηση. Τι σήμαινε για την Σνάιντερ να είναι όχι μόνο χωρίς μητέρα, αλλά και εγκαταλελειμμένη για τέτοιες άθλιες πολιτικές πεποιθήσεις;
Πώς ένιωθε για τη μητέρα της όλα αυτά τα χρόνια;
Τι της έλειπε; Πού ήταν ο πατέρας της όταν η μητριά της την κακομεταχειριζόταν; Στον πόλεμο λέει κάπου. Αλλά μετά ;
Τι προσπαθεί να πετύχει σε αυτή την τελευταία συζήτηση;
Χωρίς αυτές τις πληροφορίες, η επανένωση μητέρας/κόρης είναι κάτι περισσότερο από μια συζήτηση μεταξύ αγνώστων και είναι μια επιφανειακή και κοινότοπη προσέγγιση με θέμα
Η ναζί Μητέρα Μου !
Όσοι ξέρετε για τον
Β’ΠΠ θα καταλάβετε οι υπόλοιποι θα πρέπει να ασχοληθείτε ενδελεχώς με το θέμα για να μπείτε στην ουσία των πραγμάτων.
Profile Image for Anna Ricco.
188 reviews32 followers
February 9, 2021
Intenso,distruttivo emotivamente, coinvolgente. Offre sicuramente uno sguardo diverso, vero e toccante dell'Olocausto e del nazismo. Poco più di centro pagine,pensavo di leggerlo in un solo giorno durante il mese della memoria:mai sbagliato così tanto. La sua densità di argomenti,i ricordi tormentosi di Helga, i dialoghi costellati da lunghi silenzi e i flashback continui alla guerra,hanno fatto sì che avessi bisogno più volte di fermarmi e chiudere il romanzo,per riprendermi e digerire quello che avevo letto. Ma è stato decisamente coinvolgente.. consiglio a tutti di leggerlo,almeno una volta nella vita,per capire a fondo la storia.
Profile Image for trovateOrtensia .
237 reviews267 followers
January 4, 2018
"Dopo ventisette anni oggi ti rivedo, madre, e mi domando se nel frattempo tu abbia capito quanto male hai fatto ai tuoi figli. Stanotte non ho chiuso occhio. Ora è quasi giorno; ho aperto la serranda. Un fumoso velo di luce si va schiarendo sopra i tetti di Vienna.
Oggi ti rivedo, madre, ma con quali sentimenti? Che cosa può provare una figlia per una madre che ha rifiutato di fare la madre per entrare a far parte della scellerata organizzazione di Heinrich Himmler? (...) Difficile dire: nulla. Dopotutto sei mia madre. Ma impossibile dire: amore. Non posso amarti, madre".


Ho letto questo libro con un costante senso di tensione dolorosa, per il tragico intrecciarsi dei due temi che lo percorrono dalla prima all'ultima pagina: il dolore universale della Storia e il dolore privato di una figlia che non riesce a sottrarsi neppure in tarda età al trauma di un abbandono e al sentimento lacerante che la porta a desiderare di odiare la propria madre, senza riuscirci. Una vicenda di dolore e follia, di catarsi mancata, di lutto procrastinato, di disperato e incurabile desiderio di essere amati.

"E' pur sempre mia madre, e quando se ne andrà una parte di me se ne andrà con lei. Ma quale? Non trovo risposta a questa domanda".
Profile Image for Έλσα.
629 reviews134 followers
February 10, 2022
Αυτά τα βιβλία σε διαλύουν… σφίγγεται το στομάχι σου… στο παρόν βιβλίο αισθάνεσαι, ως αναγνώστης, πολλά συναισθήματα. Δεν ξέρω βέβαια αν μπορείς να νιώσεις θυμό για όσους υπηρέτησαν τον Χίτλερ… νομίζω η λύπηση κ ο οίκτος είναι πιο αντιπροσωπευτικά. Σκληρές αφηγήσεις κ περιγραφές. Ομολογώ πως παρόλο που γνωρίζεις τα εγκλήματα που έκαναν οι ναζί κάθε φορά που τα αντικρύζεις γραπτώς νιώθεις φρίκη …αδυνατείς να δώσεις λογική εξήγηση σε όλα όσα συνέβησαν…
Profile Image for Patrizia.
536 reviews162 followers
August 13, 2016
In un uggioso pomeriggio del novembre 1941, a Berlino, Helga vede andar via la madre, arruolata nelle SS.
La rivedrà nel 1971: un incontro che la lascerà distrutta e determinata a "seppellirla" idealmente.
Nel 1998 una lettera che la avverte che la madre è ancora viva ma con la memoria traballante, la spinge a rivederla.
Piena di angoscia e dubbi, si reca a Vienna, nell'ospizio in cui è ricoverata, decisa a ottenere risposte che colmino quasi 60 anni di silenzi e rancore. Desiderosa di provare un sentimento diverso dall'odio e dalla repulsione per quella sconosciuta di cui conosce il passato di fervente e fanatica nazista, guardiana nei campi di sterminio.
L'incontro si rivelerà un gioco spietato di domande e risposte da cui nessuna delle due uscirà vincitrice.
Poco incisivo e stilisticamente non convincente sfogo privato. Ben lontano dall'efficacia di "Il rogo di Berlino" e di "Il piccolo Adolph aveva le ciglia".
Profile Image for dely.
488 reviews277 followers
December 31, 2018
English review at the bottom.

Helga Schneider aveva soltanto 4 anni quando la madre abbandonò lei, il figlio di 19 mesi e il marito per diventare una SS e guardia nel campo di concentramento di Ravensbrück e poi anche Auschwitz. Da quel giorno del 1941, Helga rivide la madre soltanto nel 1971 e poi nel 1998 quando è ormai novantenne e ospite di un ospizio austriaco. È un breve saggio autobiografico in cui l'autrice racconta del suo secondo e ultimo incontro con la madre, ma è soprattutto un guardarsi dentro. Si può perdonare una madre per aver abbandonato due figli piccoli per inseguire un ideale? Si può vivere senza sensi di colpa sapendo che la propria madre è stata complice dello sterminio degli ebrei? Un figlio vorrebbe sempre e soltanto vedere il lato umano della propria madre. Come fare, invece, se questa madre non soltanto non rinnega il passato ma è ancora una nazista convinta di aver fatto ciò che era giusto fare? Neanche a 90 anni ci sono tracce di pentimento in questa donna. Anzi, riesce ancora ad essere perfettamente lucida e sadica da abbindolare e ingannare ai propri piaceri la figlia ormai sessantenne. Mentre Helga cerca di trovare un briciolo di umanità nella madre, questa la mena per il naso a suo piacimento. Si può provare pena per una novantenne sapendo ciò che ha fatto? E a 90 anni ha raccontato alla figlia la verità o soltanto ciò che la figlia voleva sentirsi dire per poter odiare la madre e chiudere un capitolo doloroso della sua vita?
È un libro tosto. Non soltanto per i racconti della madre sul suo "lavoro" nel campo di concentramento, ma anche per il malessere e turbamento interiori di Helga durante l'incontro. È un libro che induce a riflettere: io, al posto di Helga, cosa avrei fatto? Il legame tra madre e figli è veramente così forte da indurre una figlia, anche a 60 anni, a sperare in un pentimento da parte della madre e in un gesto d'affetto?

English
This was a pretty short but really very very tough read because of the content. It is a WWII memoir and the author, Helga Schneider, is already 60 years old when she meets for the second and last time in her life her mother. In 1941 Helga was only 4 years old when her mother abandoned her and her other son that was 19 months old, in order to become an SS and a guard in the concentration camps of Ravensbrück and later Auschwitz. Helga's father rimarried (though this stepmother hated Helga and closed her in boarding schools) and it was only in 1971, after 30 years, when Helga meets again her mother. But it wasn't a happy meeting because Helga finds out that her mother had been a Nazi. Then in 1998 she receives a letter by a friend of her mother telling her that her mother is 90 years old, in a nursing home in Austria, and that it would be better to go because she could have died. Helga decides to go to meet her mother for the second time, hoping that she would apologize for what she had done: not only to have abanonded the family and two little children, but also to have been a Nazi. Well, this woman at 90 is still a proud Nazi sure to have done what should have been done. She is also proud to have done her job very well.
It is a very tough book not only because of the stories of Helga's mother about her "job" in a concentration camp, but also because you feel for Helga that at age 60 still tries to see something good in her mother and really hopes that she apologizes and tells her something tender. She also would like that her mother apologizes for have been a Nazi, but there are no regrets in this 90 years old woman.
It is a very thought provoking book because I started thinking how would I behave with such a mother? Can we forgive a 90 years old lady for whatever she has done? At 60 are we still looking for some affection and tenderness from our mother? It is really so important also at 60? It is a book that leaves you with a lot of questions.
Profile Image for Jeanette (Ms. Feisty).
2,179 reviews2,173 followers
December 31, 2010
At times it was difficult to continue reading this book. I stayed with it because of the mother-daughter connection. It would be hard not to feel revulsion toward oneself, knowing you were spawned by such a despicable creature. It sickens me just to think I'm a member of the same species as Helga Schneider's mother. We're not really the same species, though. I am homo sapiens and she was homo monsterus horribilis.

It's bad enough that a woman would abandon her two small children without hesitation or sorrow. Worse that she would do it to serve pure evil. Helga's mother left them so she could join the SS and be a guard at Birkenau. There she selected people to be murdered, and participated in unspeakable acts of torture. She later worked at Ravensbruck, helping the "doctors" with their brutal experiments on Jewish prisoners. Many years later, when Helga confronted her mother about those WWII atrocities, the old woman had not one twinge of regret or remorse. With glee and pride, yes, PRIDE, she recounted the crimes she committed against thousands of innocent people.
Profile Image for Abigail.
7,898 reviews251 followers
March 1, 2020
Some books are difficult to read because their subject matter is so disturbing that the reader feels traumatized by the horrific events she sees chronicled before her. And some books are difficult to read because they were obviously difficult to write, every word an agony for the author. Such books are written with their creator's blood, and the reader, who is literally consuming the suffering of another human being, feels queasy in the process. Helga Schneider's memoir, so engrossing as to be almost hypnotic in its effect, is both kinds of difficult...

It took me two hours to read this riveting memoir, which I literally consumed during my train commute to and from work yesterday. It was fascinating and repellent, emotionally visceral in a way that made me feel that I was a voyeur. Written in the first-person, and frequently addressed to her mother, Let Me Go is a chronicle of Schneider's attempt to come to terms with the mother who abandoned her to become an active participant in the Nazi Final Solution. A prison guard at the Ravensbruck concentration camp, where she assisted in horrific experiments on "human guinea pigs," Schneider's mother eventually volunteered to undergo "dehumanization" treatment, in order to become a camp guard at the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp.

The author, who met her mother only twice after being abandoned at the age of four, is haunted by her mother's atrocities, and torn by her conflicting emotions and desires. On the one hand, she longs - like all abandoned children, I would imagine - for some sort of connection to this woman she never knew, and for the "mother-kindness" that was denied to her. On the other hand, she hates everything her mother is, everything she believed in and stood for, and longs for the strength to truly sever the bond between them. Struck with pity, on her second and final visit, for her mother's old age and isolation, Schneider is also disgusted by her mother's non-repentance, her amorality, and her dishonest manipulations.

I have read over thirty Holocaust memoirs over the years, but despite my interest, both in this specific topic, and in the more general questions of human evil and human suffering, I had never before read any biographies or memoirs devoted to any of the perpetrators. I think, upon reflection, that I have been afraid to delve too deeply into that "banality of evil" of which Arendt writes, afraid that some fleeting glimpse of humanity might evoke an unwanted sense of fellow-feeling. Because no matter how honestly we may acknowledge that seed of evil which lies in all of us, no one wants to look into the face of depravity, and see any part of themselves...

How much more terrible and inescapable this question of human evil, and our connection to it must be, when the face of depravity is one's own mother! I commend Schneider for her bravery in writing this book, for exposing her personal anguish and shame to the world, in her effort to further the discussion of these important questions. How unbearable sad it is to me, that her sacrifice does not bring her, or her readers, any closer to understanding such incomprehensible hate...
Profile Image for Amaranta.
587 reviews259 followers
January 26, 2018
Due donne a confronto per poche ore. Una madre e una figlia che sono quasi due sconosciute e in mezzo a loro un abisso: l'orrore dei campi di concentramento. Come una figlia può accettare di essere abbandonata da una madre che segue il Reich in ogni suo ordine e obbedisce senza pentimento alle terribili disposizioni contro gli ebrei? Dopo un'assenza che é una presenza costante in tutta la sua vita giunge il momento di fare i conti con questo vuoto. E così Helga ritorna a Vienna, una città bella ma che sente estranea, per seguire l'oscuro richiamo del sangue, per provare a scoprire se quella donna che è sua madre ha ancora un briciolo di umanità in quegli occhi che hanno visto l'Inferno e se si è pentita. Ma ha paura perché se anche quel sangue chiama il disgusto che prova per lei è impossibile da sopportare. E la freddezza con cui la madre le racconta il lavoro che svolgeva nei campi, l'orgoglio per le mansioni svolte con attenzione costante, la certezza che "la soluzione finale" fosse giusta si rivelano come un buco nero in cui sprofondare. E insieme a questo arriva il decadimento fisico di una donna alla fine della sua vita di una tenerezza che vorrebbe esserci ma che non trova basi su cui fondarsi. I racconti sono accennati ma brutali, le parole dure stridono, feriscono, la gola riarsa, le mani nodose, la mancanza d'aria, e raccontano di una sofferenza fisica oltre che emotiva. Sono stata a Mauthausen, ho visto forni piccoli come i cassetti dei comò perché la gente arrivava li pelle e ossa dopo lavori disumani, stanze delle "docce" grandi come ripostigli dove venivano assiepate centinaia di persone contemporaneamente. Ero in qualche modo "preparata" a quello che avrei potuto vedere e provare anche se quando ce l'hai di fronte è molto diverso. Ma la sensazione peggiore è stata quella che ho provato mentre arrivavo: una collinetta piena di verde su cui la strada si inerpicava, come un piccolo bosco e in mezzo tante villette singole, stile liberty, nella pace del verde, abitate. E mi sono immaginata come é adesso vivere lì, a due passi dal peggio dell'uomo,e come doveva essere viverci mentre il campo funzionava. L' orrore che si prova lì dentro non si può raccontare.
Profile Image for Atticus06.
105 reviews58 followers
January 1, 2021
Come si può perdonare a un genitore di aver fatto parte di quella feccia che ha sconvolto il mondo con i suoi propositi di sterminio? Di avere avuto, e di avere ancora, quegli ideali, quell’odio così lontano dall’essere represso? Di averti abbandonata quando ancora eri bimba per seguire una follia collettiva? «Mi hanno addestrata per reprimere i sentimenti», dice la madre di Helga Schneider alla figlia, ma l’odio nelle sue parole, la mancanza di pudore, rende difficile accettare la motivazione. Inconcepibile credere che sia stato possibile. La Schneider mette a nudo un problema che ancora oggi in molti, protagonisti di quel periodo storico, vivono con difficoltà. L’accettare che padri di famiglia e madri abbiano contribuito e abbiano creduto con fermezza alla soluzione finale. Senza pentimenti. E ritrovarsi di fronte a quella madre per la Schneider non è stato facile. Provare contemporaneamente l’attrazione filiale e il disgusto, il disprezzo. Non può esimersi dal chiedere spiegazioni, perché la coscienza non le permette di lasciar perdere. È un libro sincero e straniante, perché nonostante tutti i saggi, gli insegnamenti scolastici, i film sul tema, sentire una persona dichiarare quelle cose fa sempre un certo effetto. La scrittrice cerca di capire, ancora oggi dopo tanti anni, il perché. Cerca un segno di pentimento in quella madre ormai fragile, irriconoscibile. Ma trova solo altro dolore.
Profile Image for Raffaella .
108 reviews240 followers
January 27, 2022
Completamente svuotata, inorridita, frastornata e incredula:
leggere degli orrori compiuti dai tedeschi mi rende questo passato così impossibile da essere stato vero, eppure lo è stato, e mi sono chiesta, “perché tutta questa cattiveria?
cosa è successo per essere venuta meno
l’umanità?”, io non me lo spiego e penso che forse non riuscirò mai a capirlo, ma ricordare è sempre necessario
Profile Image for Coloma.
233 reviews
August 1, 2017
Decidí compaginarlo con LTI para "empaparme" bien de nazismo real y veraz en primera persona. Este libro me ha ido golpeando duro en el estómago en cada rato de lectura. Es terrible observar la manipulación y "lobotomía" que pueden abocar a determinados seres a actos sin un ápice de dolor ni arrepentimiento. Una historia, una conversación, tan cruda y un comportamiento tan crudos y dolorosos que sólo te demuestran la locura humana.
Profile Image for Rosalinda.
105 reviews36 followers
January 20, 2022
Intenso e molto suggestivo, la storia vista da occhi inusuali: quella di una figlia abbandonata da una madre SS, fiera di esserlo.

Mi è piaciuto molto per diversi aspetti, una interessantissima lettura per non dimenticare.
Profile Image for Chiamartini95.
69 reviews605 followers
March 28, 2017
Helga é ormai una donna che ha superato la mezza età quando decide, dopo tantissimi anni, di rivedere la madre che ormai novantenne, vive in una casa di riposo ed è vicina alla morte.
Cosa ha tenuto per così tanto tempo lontana una figlia dalla madre malata? Il passato violento e crudele della madre stessa che durante gli anni della guerra é stata uno dei membri più attivi e partecipitivi delle SS.
La madre di Helga infatti, ha abbandonato i giovani figli per seguire quello che per lei era uno scopo più grande, seguire e obbedire al Fuhrer aiutandolo nel suo progetto di sterminio degli ebrei.
Helga, allontanatosi volontariamente dalla madre proprio a causa dei delitti da lei compiuti spera però che con la vecchiaia il suo cuore si sia addolcito e si sia finalmente pentita.
La madre si presenta infatti come un vecchietta che si muove a stento, fragile e terribilmente debole nella sua umanità, che tuttavia cela ancora un animo malvagio e privo di qualsiasi senso di colpa che ammette con lucidità che niente di più al mondo le dava piacere che "uccidere degli sporchi ebrei".
Come può un figlia amare una madre che ha ucciso migliaia di persone volontariamente e traendone piacere?
E come può una figlia arrivare ad odiare la madre, la donna che da sempre l' ha amata e che piange al solo sentirsi chiamare 'Mutti' (Mamma)?
Con questo romanzo autobriografico Helga Schneider ci racconta il suo ultimo incontro con la madre e i due sentimenti incontrastanti e inconcoliabili di odio e di amore che prova nei suoi confronti.
Profile Image for Nita.
Author 7 books95 followers
February 1, 2011
Brutal. Simply brutal. I listened to it on CD and had to stop listening several times. First, there's the reality. The mother was an SS guard at birkenau concentration camp. The book includes details of atrocities to Jewish men, women and children that are very difficult to hear. I listened because I never want to forget.

Unfortunately, more difficult to hear was the daughter's voice. I don't mean the woman who was reading the book, not that voice. No, it was the daughter's writing, her attitude, the way she looked at the world that was also very difficult to endure. Yes, her mother left her and her brother and father when the daughter was four. Yes the mother was awful. Yes the author was marred for life by both her mother and the war. And yet, I kept hoping for some redemption. I kept hoping that the daughter would have learned something valuable through the experience. I kept hoping that something good would come from this story. Sadly, I found nothing. The characters didn't change. It was a tale of awfulness that held no hope.

Perhaps this is reality. Perhaps I am too idealistic, but it was like watching a car wreck. I could not turn away and yet I left unfulfilled.

If you read it, do so with an eye toward history. Do so to remember this horrible past so we never forget it again, but don't look for an individual story of transformation. You won't find one.
Profile Image for Michelle.
315 reviews31 followers
May 31, 2008
This is a deeply compelling and disturbing chronicle of a daughter's final visit with the mother who abandoned her decades before in order to become a prison guard at Auschwitz. The author wrestles deeply during the visit as she seeks to understood what possibly could have motivated her mother to make the choices she did. She weaves in her personal history as she attempts to relate to and reconcile with the senile stranger she hasn't seen more than a handful of times in 30 years. She probes her frail mother in the lucid moments as she seeks answers to questions that have haunted her since childhood. How far will the author push her mother and how much manipulation from a still unrepentant woman will Schneider tolerate in the hope of hearing remorse from a woman who personally herded prisoners into the gas chambers? It's an emotionally exhausting test of wills that examines where an individual draws her own boundaries, where she is willing to compromise, and the outcome of such deeply personal choices.

This is an intense read but well worth it.
Profile Image for Paul Ataua.
2,150 reviews271 followers
February 11, 2020
A woman goes to visit her mother in hospital for the second time in nearly sixty years, a mother who voluntarily abandoned her to become a SS guard at Auschwitz. Intriguing premise, apparently based on true events, and certainly an assemblage of many horrific and undeniable facts, but it never felt like a real encounter to me. It seemed more like a uncomfortably fictionalized account, and one in which, towards the later stages, I felt my attention focusing more and more on the daughter ‘interrogating’ the mother than the mother ‘confessing’. Worth the read, at least for all of us who are ready to confront our inhumanity face to face.
Profile Image for _nuovocapitolo_.
1,079 reviews34 followers
April 25, 2023
Lasciami andare, madre di Helga Schneider è un libro a metà tra il racconto e il diario. Helga è cresciuta fino all’età di quattro anni con i genitori. Poi la decisione della mamma le ha sconvolto la vita. Fervente sostenitrice del nazismo parte per servire il proprio paese ed obbedire ad Hitler, costi quel che costi. Il prezzo da pagare, almeno nell’immediato, è quello di lasciare marito e bambini. Helga non scorderà mai quel giorno, il giorno in cui in lacrime provava a trattenere la sua “Mutti”.Lasciami andare, madre si apre il 6 ottobre 1998. Helga ha incontrato sua madre, dopo l’abbandono, solamente una volta, nel 1971. Un incontro che non è andato, per ragioni diverse, come speravano le due donne.
La scrittrice sogna di trovarsi di fronte una donna pentita, una donna diversa ma non sa quanto sia lontana dalla realtà. L’ex SS accarezza ancora l’uniforme, non prova sensi di colpa, ha solo obbedito agli ordini. Ordini di chi voleva cancellare una fetta di umanità.

Dopo 27 anni, Helga riceve la lettera di un’amica di “Mutti” (mamma), e così sceglie di dare, e darsi un’altra possibilità.La protagonista è costantemente divisa. La odia ma non vorrebbe odiarla. Vorrebbe perdonarla ma non può farlo. Non solo, è combattuta anche tra il voler sapere e l’ignorare. Impossibile non chiedere a quella donna se ha mai provato pena per le proprie vittime. Come si sentiva quando i bambini venivano accompagnati nelle camere della morte?La conversazione diventerà un continuo trattare, ricattare… L’ex SS oscillerà tra la fiera figura che era e quella che è adesso: una vecchia signora desiderosa di carezze e regali.

La narrazione è spesso interrotta dai ricordi. All’improvviso Helga si ritrova immersa nell’atmosfera di angoscia del loro primo incontro, di quando la madre le ha messo in mano, come regalo, gli ori sottratti ai prigionieri. L’orrore è impossibile da trattenere. Si ricorda della sua matrigna, della sofferenza del padre e di quanto la sua vita sia stata condizionata da quella assenza/ presenza.
Mentre le pagine si susseguono e seguiamo questo dialogo che riporta esperienze aberranti, seppur reali, scopriamo che ad interessarci non è tanto la mente di quell’anziana che fa i capricci, ma la mente di Helga. Come assimila queste informazioni, come le rielabora e soprattutto ci chiediamo: riuscirà a lasciarla andare?

Lasciami andare, madre…
È un libro profondo. E’ un viaggio nell’orrore dell’Olocausto e nell’orrore della mente umana. La tematica può spaventare ma le pagine possono essere divorate velocemente. La scrittura della Schneider è scorrevole e delicata ma il messaggio arriva forte e chiaro al lettore. Sono solamente 130 pagine e arrivata in fondo mi sono stupita di quante cose si possano dire, raccontare, in uno spazio così breve.
Tralasciare i campi di sterminio, la follia, l’ordine e la disciplina di un gruppo di soldati che ha rischiato di distruggere l’umanità, sarebbe impossibile. Ma questo è soprattutto il racconto di chi prova un rancore tenace ma non vuole rinunciare a perdonare. Il dubbio di Schneider alla fine, è anche il nostro.
Profile Image for Denis.
Author 5 books30 followers
February 20, 2009
An important, emotionally intense and difficult book, which should be requisite reading for anyone trying to understand what happened in Germany during the Nazi era. It is, basically, the portrait that a daughter makes of her own mother, an unrepentant and ferocious jewish-hater Nazi who, decades after the fall of the regime, still hangs on to her despicable beliefs. The frankness and discomfort of the author are heartbreaking. She tries to reach out to her mother when the latest is gravely ill, despite the fact that she despises her, and also tries to come to terms with her own guilt. She partly fails, of course, because it is impossible to come to terms with pure evil - although one can imagine that writing this book has been a necessary cathartic experience for her. It is a courageous book: writing about your own parent like this is not easy. It also illuminates one of the most troubling aspect of the Nazi era - which is actually universal: how evil lies in the most ordinary people, and how anyone, really, can become a monster. It is chilling and horrifying - some gruesome revelations are even shocking. Schneider's writing is simple and direct, as it should be with such a subject. It's the kind of book that haunts you for a long time.
Profile Image for Kelsey Hanson.
934 reviews34 followers
September 12, 2016
This is a short, but incredibly intense book about the author's attempt to connect with her former SS mother before she dies. My heart goes out to the author. This book was hard to get through at times, I can't imagine living it. The author's mother is completely unrepentant about her actions during WW II and a complete believer devoted to Hitler's ideologies. The author struggles to deal with both the abandonment of her mother in an especially challenging time period as well as coming terms to the terrible things her mother did in the concentration camps without any sign of remorse. I consider myself fairly well versed when it comes to WW II, but I was surprised to learn about the dehumanization training that SS guards had to go through to more or less make them immune to their victims' sufferings. As far as Holocaust stories go, the descriptions are not especially graphic, but oddly disturbing in their stark medical language. Hearing it from a woman who was proud of her SS career and the vile things she did is quite haunting. Though this does give me an idea of how deeply brainwashed some members of the party must have been.
Profile Image for The reading corner .
233 reviews21 followers
October 15, 2025
Un romanzo diverso, profondo, che mi ha colpito profondamente.
Quando si parla di Olocausto e nazismo ovviamente il pensiero corre alla persecuzione subita dagli ebrei. Questo romanzo però fa riflettere perché parla di questo argomento fornendo un punto di vista diverso : quella di una famiglia tedesca.
La trama infatti parla del conflittuale legame dell’autrice con la madre, che l’ha abbandonata da piccola x arruolarsi volontaria nelle SS.
L’autrice descrive la sua vita da civile nella Berlino colpita dagli alleati, sola, senza sua mamma, col padre al fronte e affidata alle cure di una matrigna che non esiterà a spedirla in orfanotrofio.
Decenni dopo l’autrice va a trovare la madre (che non ha più rivisto), anziana e ricoverata, scoprirà che purtroppo vive ancora nel passato e rimpiange i tempi in cui incuteva timore agli ebrei.
Questo scuote molto l’autrice, che sperava in un pentimento che invece non avverrà mai.
Un romanzo difficile ma davvero appassionante.
Nella guerra non ci sono vincitori o perdenti ma soltanto sopravvissuti.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for SilviaG.
432 reviews
May 27, 2021
Acabo de terminar este libro.... y me ha dejado con un nudo en el estómago. Un libro corto, pero lleno de emociones, de realidad y de crudeza.

En estas páginas, la autora nos habla de la difícil y casi inexistente relación con su madre. Una mujer austriaca, fiel seguidora de las ideas nazis, que la abandonó cuando ella era pequeña, para trabajar para el régimen alemán en los campos de exterminio.

Ellas dos se encuentran después de muchos años sin contacto, y durante unas horas, hablan del pasado. La necesitad de la hija de obtener respuestas a sus preguntas y de recuperar el amor fraterno, choca frontalmente con la crudeza, las ideas, la frialdad y la soledad de la madre.

Me ha encantado.
Profile Image for La Libridinosa.
605 reviews241 followers
February 8, 2022
Un libro piccolo piccolo, 132 pagine appena. Un libro che si legge in un paio d'ore, ma che è in grado di scavare l'animo umano in profondità.

"Lasciami andare, madre" è il racconto dell'incontro tra Helga Schneider, l'autrice, e sua madre. Un incontro che avverrà vent'anni dopo l'ultimo; e che sarà il terzo di tutta la loro vita.
Helga ha 70 anni e la madre ha passato i 90, eppure queste due donne non sono mai state davvero madre e figlia. Perché? Perché la madre di Helga aveva scelto il Nazismo.

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