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How Did You Get This Number

3.44 of 5 stars 3.44 · rating details · 5,403 ratings · 737 reviews

A brand-new book of hilarious and insightful personal essays by the iconic, irresistible Sloane Crosley.

From the author of the sensational bestseller I Was Told There'd Be Cake comes a new book of personal essays brimming with all the charm and wit that have earned Sloane Crosley widespread acclaim, award nominations, and an ever-growing cadre of loyal fans. In Cake rea...more

Hardcover, 274 pages

Published June 15th 2010 by Riverhead Books

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Jun 16, 2011 karen rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfictions

sloane crossley offends me on a number of levels.

as a new yorker.*
as a woman.
as an american.
as a taxpayer.

and there are essays in this collection to back up each of these personal twinges of disgust.

but mostly, she offends me as a bookseller. and it may not be her fault, entirely. part of the blame must rest with whatever higher-than-me part of the bn machine it is that classifies books in our system.

sloane crossley is categorized as "humor".

now, she is a girl with a background in publishing, so...more

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Feb 23, 2011 jess rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

Lately I have been really procrastinating on my goodreads reviews for no good reason. It's winter! What better thing do I have to do with my time? I am determined to break this streak with this book. Why? Because I need for this book to be completely OVER and out of my life FOREVER. Was it only six months ago that I read Sloane Crosley's other book? I think it was.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

I only "sort of" liked that book, although I gave it a generous three stars rating. This is the goodreads...more Lately I have been really procrastinating on my goodreads reviews for no good reason. It's winter! What better thing do I have to do with my time? I am determined to break this streak with this book. Why? Because I need for this book to be completely OVER and out of my life FOREVER. Was it only six months ago that I read Sloane Crosley's other book? I think it was.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

I only "sort of" liked that book, although I gave it a generous three stars rating. This is the goodreads equivalent of a pity fuck. I didn't really love the book, but I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt and shoulder the burden for the missed connection. Certainly if this lady ends up on so many year-end lists, if she has written two books in as many years, and her market saturation is, in one word, extensive, there must be something redeeming in her writing? Is it just me? Did I miss the awesomeness?

No. This book is terrible. It's barely funny. Mostly it's annoying over and over again. There was not a single essay that I didn't say "Please get over yourself" every other page. Boo hoo, my boyfriend was cheating on his girlfriend and I was the other woman and I was fencing stolen fancy home furnishings at the same time how profound. Boo hoo let me tell you about my crazy roommate, lol, roommates are crazy. Boo hoo I went to Lisbon/Alaska/Paris and the trip wasn't as perfect as it should be, let me share my trauma. I really try to find something positive in every book I read, but it's a serious challenge with this book. She's unlikeable, but not in a charming or appealing way. And I usually like unlikable people. Her life seems like it may have been interesting, but not much more interesting than any other girl you went to college with. I had to drag myself through the last 100 pages of this book, and I'm stuck paying late fines for it, and I am so indignant about that.

Sloane worked in the publishing industry and that's the singular reason I can imagine for how she wrote two books and *anyone* read them. I heard she quit her day job to write full time - dear god. I hope that works out for her, but I am never reading one of her books again. (less)

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Sep 13, 2011 Kelly rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: beach-book, essays, humor, memoirs, narcissistic, oh-the-shame, short-story-collection

Rather than write what would essentially be a blog post tirade filled with grammatically incorrect sentences and overflowing with bitterness that stems from my own personal failures, let me simply tell you what this book is not.

This book is not:
*Funny. Though Crosley tries time and time again to balance the hipster's love of sarcastic self-awareness and pure self-absorption, she comes up wanting and, well, really whiny. Then again, her inclusion of the word "scat" did make me giggle like an eigh...more

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Jan 04, 2012 oriana rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I finished this book just in the nick of time for it to get on my CCLaP best-of-2011 list!

Here's what I said about it there:
I am unabashedly on Team Sloane. This has a lot to do with the fact that we're so demographically aligned --suburban youth, upper-middle-class background, collegiate experimentation and self-finding, living now in the same city, about the same age, working in the same field -- to the point that her essays often feel like a rarefied version of my own life. But when she gets...more

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Oct 14, 2012 John Spillane rated it 4 of 5 stars

Because a friend I often disagree vehemently with about books/things gave this five stars, I desperately wanted to give it three going in and up until the last essay. Profundity is almost impossible to get and the final essay, title track, comes as close as almost anybody people are reading. I listened to it, but if someone said it was the best thing they read all year I would not disagree with them. FYI the title words are spoken to a woman not a man, and this I think makes the them more intere...more

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Aug 05, 2012 Karyn rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: funny-stuff, essays, memoir

Truly, I'd like to give this book 4.5 stars, if only because I think Crosley over-reaches and/or over-writes many of her endings: I didn't always agree that the subjects of her work have as much meaning as she writes they do, and I often found myself crossing out the last few sentences, even in the essays I loved. That said, I think Crosley is an important female voice in a world too crowded with male essayists, and her work should be more popular than it is. By far the strongest essay in this p...more

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Jun 15, 2012 Rebecca rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: chicklit

When I first picked up this book, I was like, have I read this before? I get all confused when I pick up anthologies where every chapter is different because there isn't a fluid story for the whole book that I can follow. And this was one of them. But unlike the anthologies that I have picked up lately, where I haven't enjoyed them very much, just tolerated them as I don't have to pay much attention, I liked this one a lot! I think it was mainly because of the writer and how she writes. Very sim...more

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Aug 05, 2011 Erika rated it 3 of 5 stars

Despite apparently dividing the crowd of reviewers on this site, Crosley's book left me deeply ambivalent. On one hand, I found it easy and quick to read, generally funny (if not necessarily laugh-out-loud funny all the time, and verging towards precious at many others) and very relatable. On the other hand, its relatability was, for me, its most ambivalent aspect. Perhaps I'm a bit old-fashioned; as someone around the author's age, I feel that if one is going to write two books of one's own mem...more Despite apparently dividing the crowd of reviewers on this site, Crosley's book left me deeply ambivalent. On one hand, I found it easy and quick to read, generally funny (if not necessarily laugh-out-loud funny all the time, and verging towards precious at many others) and very relatable. On the other hand, its relatability was, for me, its most ambivalent aspect. Perhaps I'm a bit old-fashioned; as someone around the author's age, I feel that if one is going to write two books of one's own memoirs by the time one is 33, one really should have done or thought something extraordinary. With the exception of her early learning disability, Crosley seems to have stuck remarkably close to the Prescribed Narrative of the bright twentysomething upper middle-class liberal arts schools graduate in the humanities. As such, her reflections on places (most notably life in New York and Paris) exude a kind of immaturity-masquerading as sophistication, unable to convey any kind of freshness to warn stereotypes. Frankly, I can get the same kind of humor, handled with almost as much skill, from many of my friends (also drawn disproportionately from the ranks of bright twentysomething upper middle-class liberal arts school graduates in the humanities) and from a variety of online blog written by and targeting such an audience. Had these essays come from those sources, I would have found them extremely congenial. Perhaps part of me still holds to the idea that The Printed Word should be somehow different, sacrosanct, preserved for people who genuinely have something to say that will last through time. Perhaps I need to adapt to the idea that the relatively typical life trajectory of the upper-middle-class twentysomething with literary ambitions is a subject of intense and timeless interest when cleverly explored. But, seriously, the line between navel-gazing and genuine reflection seems to have become very blurry these past few decades.

On the plus side, this collection did spark an intense desire to visit Alaska!(less)

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Jul 25, 2011 Shaida Hossein rated it 2 of 5 stars

UNSATISFIED! SADDEN! I loved the author's previous book, I Was Told There'd Be Cake, but this book was so below my expectations that I had double check that I was reading Crosley's new book (unfortunately I was). This novel contains 9 essays that pertains to the authors life. Unlike her first novel, the humor in this novel was almost non-existent. The essays received a few short-lived chuckles, and my favorite (if you can even call it that) was Le Paris! The essay titled ""An Abbreviated Catalog...more

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Jun 24, 2011 Lauren rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

May I make a bold statement? Everyone who liked this book and wrote a good review, saying it was "entrancing" or that Crosley is "cute, funny, sarcastic as hell and really smart" is full of shit and fell for her little trick and wouldn't know a good book if it slapped them in the buttcheeks.

It's worse then the last one because this time there aren't even funny titles. At least I Was Told There'd Be Cake had, every so often, a funny title or sentence or something.

Crosley is a good writer and can...more

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Jun 10, 2011 Jacquelin rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Readers who enjoy David Sedaris

I became familiar with Slone Crosely through her first collection of essays, I Was Told There’d Be Cake, which is a motto near and dear to my heart. In it Crosley weaves tales of NY wonder and woe so brilliantly it felt as if she’d been stalking me. In one essay she relates a nightmarish tale of moving a mere ten blocks in Manhattan that is so vicariously traumatizing you’ll never pack another box again. So it was without reservation that I picked up her new book, How Did You Get This Number.

Thi...more I became familiar with Slone Crosely through her first collection of essays, I Was Told There’d Be Cake, which is a motto near and dear to my heart. In it Crosley weaves tales of NY wonder and woe so brilliantly it felt as if she’d been stalking me. In one essay she relates a nightmarish tale of moving a mere ten blocks in Manhattan that is so vicariously traumatizing you’ll never pack another box again. So it was without reservation that I picked up her new book, How Did You Get This Number.

This time around, Crosely is settling into her own as an adult and she’s reasssesing her life, wondering what it all means. In these nine new essays her writing is a little more self-conscious, maybe trying a little too hard to make at best tenuous thematic connections. Can you blame her? (Hey, the last book was such an unexpected bestseller, she knew someone might actually read this one.) As a result some of the essays feel forced, such as “An Abbreviated Catalog of Tongues,” in which she revisits her childhood pets and her family’s misguided attempts to care for them.

That said, this is a lovely collection. “Le Paris!,” “Light Pollution” and “Show Me on the Doll” take us to Paris, Alaska and Lisbon, respectively. With Crosley out of her comfort zone, her experiences mirror the transition from fancy-free twentysomething to what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life thirtysomething, which is what I felt the book at-large was about. My favorite essay was the last, “Off the Back of the Truck,” a layering of a period in her life when she falls in love twice: the first time with with a man who seemed perfect but wasn’t, and the second with the loot from a high-end furniture thief who ends up being the more honest of the two.

This is a tough genre. Humorous personal essays can quickly cross the line from being relevant and witty to ranting and navel-gazing. Few can make the reader laugh while crying out, “Me, too!” Crosley joins the elite group of writers, including Sedaris and Ephron, who have that ability, and I look forward to hearing more from her.(less)

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May 31, 2011 Imogen rated it 5 of 5 stars

I don't understand if I just share the author's sense of humor or if the other people who reviewed this book don't have a sense of humor at all, but I was absolutely entranced by Sloane Crosley.

It's been a while since I've read a funny book, and her short essays about things which happen to us all are poignantly hilarious because we can relate. We understand. And we laugh along with her as she makes mistakes. Like we all do. Except for the part where we cry about the baby bear.

With stories abo...more

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Apr 06, 2011 Ivy Weston rated it 4 of 5 stars

I love Sloane Crosley! She's cute, funny, sarcastic as hell and really smart. I loved "I was told there would be cake" and found myself jealous of her intellect and easy writing style. Then I read this book and was fascinated with her essay about her learning disability. Apparently, she has reallllly bad spacial relations and therefore can't do math or read a map. It was fascinating to read the great lengths she went through to hide her disability. I thought it was interesting because I feel lik...more

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Mar 02, 2011 Danielle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, short-stories, tidbits, memoir

Puh-retty funny. I blew through this in a day, and found it highly amusing and occassionally insightful. Overall, I liked this collection better than I Was Told There'd Be Cake, although the essays in both books vary in quality. This was just a little more mature (in a good way) and less needy. I loved the final essay the most, about having her heart broken. Considering I described Crosley as writing "non-fiction chick-lit" it seems like we need more romantic content, but I actually like that in...more

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Dec 28, 2010 nicole rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010

A series of essays by a chic publishing-backgrounded New Yorker for other New York literalti.

Is that a little bit harsh? I suppose. I chose this book as a palate cleanser and I knew what I was getting into, having read I Was Told There'd Be Cake a few years back. I stand by my initial assessment of Crosley as a writer, which is that she gets a lot of press for being an attractive 20-something with a book deal because most of the people writing such reviews are 20-somethings who wish they had a b...more

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Oct 27, 2010 Christina rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: book_club

God, this was hilarious. I couldn't read this in public because of the massive giggle-inducing factor. A few of the stories didn't meet the caliber of the others, but I forgive her.

The following excerpt ends with my favorite line in the whole book. You should read the rest of the story.

Only a few days in and nothing surprises me about Alaska. It is a land of casual extremes, a place located not only on the fringes of the planet but on the fringes of all normalcy. A place where you could wake up...more

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Oct 22, 2010 Becca Silvers rated it 2 of 5 stars

Where to begin. First I'll say I have not read her first book, though from reviews here it seems to have been more enjoyable. I like fluffy chicklit. I found the writing in this book to be a poor attempt, a little too reminiscent of Bridget Jones and pals. I like books written by my contemporaries that I can relate to, or at least commiserate with. In this book I found Sloane to be whiny and self indulgent, and I found her attempts to be self deprecating instead to be thinly veiled attempts to t...more Where to begin. First I'll say I have not read her first book, though from reviews here it seems to have been more enjoyable. I like fluffy chicklit. I found the writing in this book to be a poor attempt, a little too reminiscent of Bridget Jones and pals. I like books written by my contemporaries that I can relate to, or at least commiserate with. In this book I found Sloane to be whiny and self indulgent, and I found her attempts to be self deprecating instead to be thinly veiled attempts to toot her own horn. I was forced to skim some of the essays because they aren't cohesive within themselves, and I found it at times difficult to follow her train of thought. I felt at times like I was reading her diary, and that she got too emotional and floated off on too many tangents to hold my attention.

The first essay finds Sloane in Lisbon. I enjoyed it, I was jealous with how carefree and independent she was, and I laughed out loud a few times. I was off to a good start! Not all the essays captured my attention this well, and some I found down right pointless. I assume her intention was to pepper every few sentences with humor, but when the essays are as long as hers were, that's just not possible. There were often pages and pages of text that I read without realizing I read because it couldn't hold my attention. The whole middle of the book gets read without much to mention.

The last essay "Off the Back of a Truck" or something whatever, seems to be overwhelmingly everyone's favorite. I hated it. I would probably have loved it if it was split in two essays; the Darryl essay and the Ben essay. I saw no comparison between her odd relationship with Darryl, and her romance with Ben. I also didn't really buy the situation with Darryl. Why did he keep giving her great deals on furniture for cash? Why was she so special? I think she added their exchange simply to say "look how special I am, I am the one person in NYC who can get fancy furniture and rugs from <> on the cheap." I also felt completely let down by her big break up. We've all been through rough break ups, but her depression seems unwarranted. I need more before I'll concede that point. Why did Ben's girlfriend Lauren go through his phone and call "Doug" when Ben ran out to get food one night? Was that the ONE person in his phone she hadn't heard of? Why would she assume that Doug was a pseudonym for a secret lover? Why didn't Sloane explain that to us? I need to know because otherwise it just seemed like a weak attempt to get some dark mention of the book title when she asks Lauren how she got the number. Maybe it's because I skimmed, but I don't know how long Sloane and Ben even dated, she seemed to hint in the book that it is rude to even ask, implying that if it's one minute or ten years, the break up hurts the same (false). They met through friends, so if they dated for much longer than a week, someone would have to know about both Sloane and Lauren and comment, right? Did they only meet in secret and never mention their love to a soul? If that's the case, I think their affair could only have last a very brief time and her reaction to the break up was way too severe. Feel stupid, feel humiliated, feel forlorn, but how can her heart be broken, and how had she fallen in love with someone whom it seems she was barely happy before she started playing games. I thought her refusal to give any hint as to Ben's physical appearance was pointless. The only reason I could think of was because in her phone call with Lauren, she reels with pain as she tells her Ben claimed to not even be able to recall this Sloane person's face. Payback? Immature, "oh yeah, well I forgot what you look like too!"? I think so.

I do want to give her first book a chance, but I sort of feel like I'm perpetuating or condoning a trend of published journals spun to sound like humorous fiction. Put some imagination in it!(less)

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Oct 11, 2010 Sarah rated it 2 of 5 stars

Much like Crosley's first collect (I Was Told There'd Be Cake), How Did You Get This Number peers inside her slightly quirky life, including a spare of the minute, midlife crisis trip to Lisbon, reasons why she feels she isn't allowed in Paris and how she isn't stupid, she is just ridiculously right brained and has no spacial recognition.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit disappointed in Crosley's sophomore attempt at life oriented humor. I remember laughing out loud at parts of I Was Told Th...more

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Jul 30, 2010 christa rated it 3 of 5 stars

I am going to write something here that applies to Sloane Crosley and only Sloane Crosley, and God help us all please don't let anyone else take this bit of advice and apply it:

Sloane, you need to write more about your personal life. Dates and dudes. Relationships that lean horizontal. Getting dumped and squeezing the living shit out of a bunch of oranges that are mucking up your new juicer, the second-cheapest one at the store. I know this is problematic: You live in New York, and when a young...more I am going to write something here that applies to Sloane Crosley and only Sloane Crosley, and God help us all please don't let anyone else take this bit of advice and apply it:

Sloane, you need to write more about your personal life. Dates and dudes. Relationships that lean horizontal. Getting dumped and squeezing the living shit out of a bunch of oranges that are mucking up your new juicer, the second-cheapest one at the store. I know this is problematic: You live in New York, and when a young woman lives in New York and writes essays she gets Carrie Bradshaw'ed into a little pink box. Even if the writer spends 200-plus pages riffing on everything but shoes. But I believe in you, Sloane. I think you can do it in a respectable way, and never have to say the words: "Hm ... I guess we should go with the lipstick font for this book. Is there any way to make it look like I'm lounging in a martini glass?"

Crosley's second book of essays "How Did You Get This Number," is at its best in the finale of the nine-chapter follow up to the extraordinarily meh, albeit critically well-received debut, "I Was Told There Would Be Cake." The essay "Off the Back of a Truck" is a story of a) meeting and falling for Ben, who is so entrenched in her social circle that it seems impossible they had never met before; b) browsing in an up-scale furniture store, and falling face-first into connection from the stock room who scores her discounted goods with some back alley wheeling that involves envelopes filled with cash. She weaves these two stories in a deliciously teasey way under the umbrella: "If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it." The relationship is void of cliche. She reluctantly reveals his eye color, straying to Crayola Big Box depths for "a dirty peridot color" but admits she has forced her brain to compartmentalize his image. And the rug, dresser and other luxury pieces she scores for fast-food prices is just so bizarre and shady and stars such a likable criminal.

As for the other eight essays: They're fine. Just like they were fine in her last book. There is no doubt that she has led an interesting life. On the cusp of her 30th birthday she makes travel plans by sliding her finger aimlessly along a globe, which is how she ends up in Lisbon, playing a version of "Win, Lose, or Draw" to communicate. In another essay she has a super awkward exchange in a confessional at Notre Dame Cathedral, Crosley being Jewish and all. There is a trip to Alaska where she witnesses the execution of a bear cub, the victim of a hit-n-run. Unfortunately, these stories are so controlled, so antiseptic, so public relations and so not risky. She writes like her mom is reading over her shoulder. Even when she mentions smoking weed out of her apartment window, it seems more of a ploy, a purposefully dropped mention, than a revelation.

I imagine people like Sloane Crosley because she is someone they can relate to. The horror of junior high slumber parties, and then reconnecting with the Queen Bee bully years later. The carefully laid bread crumbs that show she is quirky (She imagines keeping a midget in this strange cupboard area of her apartment!) in that way that we all need to believe that our OCD moments and guilty pleasures make us unique. But her relate-ability has such a generic-ness to it that is without soul. Like a person who is considered a great conversationalist because they listen well and remember the name of your hometown.

This is why "Off the Back of the Truck" works so well. She lets her hair down. She squeezes an orange in frustration. Her mind is blown, and you can see her sweeping the pieces into a dustpan, and throwing it all away. I'm not suggesting that Crosley's next book should be a chronology of her relationships. But I do think if she should put some of the za-za-zu into everything she writes and scrap things like, oh say, the rank nature of cabs in NYC.(less)

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Jul 23, 2010 Cori rated it 3 of 5 stars

I think I have to chalk this one up to a case of being over-hyped. I’ve had her first book of essays, I Was Told There’d Be Cake, on my to read list ever since everyone on planet earth read it and loved it. I never got around to reading it, however, but was really excited when I ended up with a copy of How Did You Get This Number through LibraryThing Early Reviewers. (Side note: I know everyone and their dog has said this, but how great are the titles of these two books?!) I was foaming at the m...more

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Jul 21, 2010 Tamara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, memoir-bio

Didn't seem to hit the spot like I Was Told There'd Be Cake. Maybe because Sloane no longer seems like "every girl". Instead, she's moved into "chick lit" territory with the NYC setting, the globe trotting and the Confessions of a Shopaholic overspending.

Nevertheless, it was entertaining enough to finish.

Favorite Quotes:

On occasion it occurs to adults they they are allowed to do all the things that being a child prevented them from doing...Every once in a while, time disolves and you remember...more

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Jun 28, 2010 Felice rated it 3 of 5 stars

Need a laugh?
I can help with that. Read How Did You Get This Number. You will laugh my friend. There the problem is solved. What a nice friend I am. Anything else I can do for you? Want me to explain nuclear fission? Why my sister cannot apologize? Finish up a few lingering trigonometry problems?

Laughing through author Sloane Crosley's embarrassments, adventures and complaints is such a load off for the rest of us. Now we can relax about public mishaps, venting inappropriately about friends and...more

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Jun 23, 2010 Nicole rated it 1 of 5 stars

If all you know about New Yorkers comes from "Seinfeld", "Sex and the City", and books like this one, you probably think Manhattanites are a selfish, immature group. Take Crosley's first essay in this collection in which she complains about being lonely in Lisbon, Portugal. Nevermind that she knows no one there, doesn't speak the language, and that she picked the destination by spinning a globe and sticking a finger out. Why did she go there? Because she was turning thirty and responsibility was...more

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Feb 06, 2013 Kelly rated it 4 of 5 stars

"I walked up to my hotel, grateful to have made it home. Even if I was greeted by a broken radiator and a lone bath towel that could tear the skin off a baby." (18)

"Of course, the real source of my hesitation was the phrase "artist's loft," which I took as a euphemism for "bad art" and "no heat." (54)

"It's why I was never comfortable with night lights. They were unnatural. Plus, if they worked for me, would they not also work for the eight eyed monster hiding in my closet? Bitch has eight eyes."...more

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Jun 22, 2011 Benjamin added it

Shelves: audiobook

Crosley's How Did You Get This Number? is a lot like her first book, likable but not life-changing.

I'd like to say she's getting better because I think I laughed more while reading this book; but this second book also felt a little more mannered. For instance, some of the essays end with some Aesopian moral or meaning, which sometimes feels artificial. Speaking of artificial, I think it might not have been a great choice to open this book with the story of that time she went to Lisbon just to g...more

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Dec 09, 2012 Susie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiftyfiftyme, possible-audiobook-consumption

I audio-read both of Sloane Crosley books this month, because I tend to love books read by the author and just discovered my library's audiobook e-loaning site! Not sure I'd recommend this one for consumption using that method, though.

Crosley has a sort of mean-girl-ish voice that at times gave her brand a humor a cruel effect that I probably wouldn't have gleaned had I read the books on paper. Honestly, it detracts from her writing. It's not like the nerdy chirpiness of Sarah Vowell that so per...more

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Jul 12, 2011 Kara rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011-books

I seriously question why I bothered picking this book up at the library given that I did not particularly care for her first book. But, alas, I was looking for some light reading and it was from the library (thank goodness - otherwise, I think I would have to ask for my money back), so I figured why not give it a whirl. Also, David Sedaris is quoted on the cover, and I like his works, so it could not be too bad, right?

Well, this was one time where I should have cut my losses and just not finishe...more

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Aug 20, 2010 Pete rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed

This book of short personal essays started out about like Crosley's first, I Was Told There Would Be Cake. They weren't everything I would hope for from David Sedaris, but then what is?

The first couple essays were decent, peppered with funny moments, but they have a strong case of New-York-Itis, the disease that runs through books, the symptoms of which include referencing New York, talking about how New York is a strange and wonderful place, and attempting to describe the way in which New Yorke...more This book of short personal essays started out about like Crosley's first, I Was Told There Would Be Cake. They weren't everything I would hope for from David Sedaris, but then what is?

The first couple essays were decent, peppered with funny moments, but they have a strong case of New-York-Itis, the disease that runs through books, the symptoms of which include referencing New York, talking about how New York is a strange and wonderful place, and attempting to describe the way in which New Yorkers are tough, savvy, or whatever (although to be fair, she does acknowledge that New Yorkers do revel in squalor at times, which was nice). I think this happens as so many publishers are in New York, and because so many writers work with publishers in some capacity before getting published, New York becomes the center of the book world. Having never been there, I hesitate to say much more about it, but I get that subways are crowded, cabs range from unpleasant to unholy, and when you concentrate a shitload of people in a tiny space you are bound to be constrained by different types of shit. However, Crosley handles most of it well, and she does some linguistic backflips that are worth a laugh on their own merit.

And the book really picks up. In "Light Pollution" Crosley describes a trip made to Alaska for a wedding, and though it's already funny, it takes a turn that brings it to a very human and very dark place. And the real gem, the final essay called "Off the Back of a Truck" is one of the better chronicles of the beginning and end of a relationship. She's smart, she makes a lot of wise statements, and people will be quoting pieces of this to crying friends over the phone for years to come. And the best part is that just when she's about to break your heart, she throws in a line that makes you laugh without destroying the tension. There's a balancing act there, and she pulls it off perfectly.

Read that last one first. I kid you not. If you like it, then read the rest. (less)

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May 04, 2013 Vivian rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I am aware that my patience for white, privileged writers is very short now but yiiiiikes, does this lady like to drop random racist nuggets about various Asian ethnic groups. From making fun of delivery people (they're foreigners, all of them), to Chinese names, to the conditions of a hostel being similar to the country of Thailand, it's all there and winking at you like you're somehow in on her joke (joke being that she's not actually racist so this isn't racist!).

Aside from that, most of the...more

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Mar 08, 2012 Bonnie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Bonnie by: Sloane

Shelves: essays, portugal, new-york-city, non-fiction, humor, 2012, paris

Funny girl, Sloane (or Solange as her under-the-table home décor-wielding broker mistakenly calls her) Crosley, delivers again. If I thought "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" allowed me to honestly laugh out loud (and not just in the platonic Facebook way), make room for some good guffaws that will come from this hilarious read.

From trips abroad: Portugal, France and Alaska (yes, Alaska is abroad, and not just in the figurative sense), the author tells stories that are just wacky enough to be true, a...more

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About Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley (born August 3, 1978) is a writer living in New York. She graduated from Connecticut College in 2000 with a degree in creative writing. Her essays and criticism have appeared in The New York Times, BlackBook magazine, The New York Observer, The Village Voice, Playboy Magazine, Maxim Magazine, Mirabella, and numerous other literary journals and websites. Her collection of essays, I W...more

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“If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can’t afford to be with them. It’s not worth the price, even though, just like the Tiffany catalog, no one tells you what the price is. You set it yourself, and if you’re lucky it’s reasonable. You have a sense of when you’re about to go bankrupt. Your own sense of self-worth takes the wheel and says, Enough of this shit. Stop making excuses. No one’s that busy at work. No one’s allergic to whipped cream. There are too cell phones in Sweden. But most people don’t get lucky. They get human. They get crushes. This means you irrationally mortgage what little logic you own to pay for this one thing. This relationship is an impulse buy, and you’ll figure out if it’s worth it later.” — 74 people liked it

“Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward. You get over it, of course. Everyone was right about that. One mathematically insignificant day, you stop hoping for happiness and become actually happy.” — 26 people liked it

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