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The Nine Circles of Heck #1
Heck: Where the Bad Kids Go
WHEN MILTON AND Marlo Fauster die in a marshmallow bear explosion, they get sent straight to Heck, an otherworldly reform school. Milton can understand why his kleptomaniac sister is here, but Milton is—or was—a model citizen. Has a mistake been made? Not according to Bea 'Elsa' Bubb, the Principal of Darkness. She doesn't make mistakes. She personally sees to it that Heck—whether it be home-ec class with Lizzie Borden, ethics with Richard Nixon, or gym with Blackbeard the Pirate—is especially, well, heckish for the Fausters. Will Milton and Marlo find a way to escape? Or are they stuck here for all eternity, or until they turn 18, whichever comes first?
304 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 454 reviews
January 15, 2008
I had a lot of fun writing this book. It was very cathartic. I read the Advanced Reader Copy while I was immersed in the second book, and I was surprised that I still enjoyed it. Sure, there are things I would change now, but this experience—writing my first book—made me realize that one could very well spend their life writing and rewriting one book. Sometimes you just have to let it go. Actually, make that, all of the time.
What I like best about Heck (and what my spanking new agent had to say about it as well) was that it was so subversive. That was the biggest thrill writing it: the feeling that I was getting away with something that surely couldn't be printed for middle-readers. Of course, much of it didn't make the final cut, but I am excited now that I am polishing the second book and preparing for the third of what I can get away with now!
Someone asked me why I write for this age group (at least that's what it sounded like through the duct tape). When I think of the books that formed me, that really influenced who I became today, they were all books I read when I was between the ages of 9-12. That's a lot of influence. Writing for adults just doesn't interest me as much. I don't feel that I can make as much of a difference that way. But if I can help make a kid feel better about the "heck" of being a pre-teen, then that makes me really happy. Especially if they buy a dozen copies, and whatever toys, games, and assorted merchandise I have rights to.
What I like best about Heck (and what my spanking new agent had to say about it as well) was that it was so subversive. That was the biggest thrill writing it: the feeling that I was getting away with something that surely couldn't be printed for middle-readers. Of course, much of it didn't make the final cut, but I am excited now that I am polishing the second book and preparing for the third of what I can get away with now!
Someone asked me why I write for this age group (at least that's what it sounded like through the duct tape). When I think of the books that formed me, that really influenced who I became today, they were all books I read when I was between the ages of 9-12. That's a lot of influence. Writing for adults just doesn't interest me as much. I don't feel that I can make as much of a difference that way. But if I can help make a kid feel better about the "heck" of being a pre-teen, then that makes me really happy. Especially if they buy a dozen copies, and whatever toys, games, and assorted merchandise I have rights to.
December 3, 2008
Seriously, I thought the best thing about this book was its cover. :(
The main characters: Best thing about them was the realism with regards to the sibling relationship. Everything else was flat; the characters were stereotypes: There's Marlo, the badass goth girl who steals for no reason (but seems to care a lot about fashion and cosmetics in a much more traditional way), and Milton, who wears thick glasses, is a germophobe, is scared of everything, and doesn't actually belong in Heck (oh, and has bad allergies). They ARE their situations. Milton was supposed to be the sympathetic character, wrongly assigned to Heck (though even when the book comes to a close we're really not sure WHY), and yet I found him annoying and petulant and not likable.
The supporting characters: No, they weren't characters. They were walking, talking jokes. We're in Heck, not Hell. So we don't get Beelzebub; we get Bea "Elsa" Bubb. Oh well isn't that HILARIOUS? (Um . . . no.) And of course you catch her in her curlers (but the hair is on her BACK, oh HAW HAW HAW), or see her eating something that's just there to make a dumb pun. This sort of thing sometimes works if you're Lemony Snicket and you know how to do it. Here it did not work. Ever. Sorry. Other characters were just random teachers who were assigned teaching positions that were supposed to be ironic (like Nixon teaching ethics, etc.). They were featured as a storm of trying-to-be-clever ideas but without any actual point in being there. Boy, isn't it funny that in biology class you actually dissect your teacher while she's teaching you? Knee slap! Which leads me to my biggest problem with the book:
The premise. Dear God, the premise. What?
I don't understand. What are the children doing in Heck? It's like no one ever actually worked this out. "Yeah they are just kids so they go to Heck, not Hell, and then they have to go to school." To do what? When does this circle assigning they mentioned actually happen, and why are they going to school beforehand? Is there a point to only feeding them really gross stuff? Are they just being punished, or are they being rehabilitated? That's never really clear. Why are the boys and the girls separated, and what's actually different about their experience that necessitates this? (Well, or is it really a plot device to make sure the brother and sister can't talk to each other?) If they're just supposed to be punished for being bad on Earth, why is one of the worst children--Milton's enemy, Damian (of course his name is Damian)--assigned special status and given privileges like he's respected by even the teachers? Wouldn't it make more sense that he would be punished worse? Why, in Heck, would the bully get something he enjoys? The answer is . . . because the author apparently didn't think continuity and consistency of premise is important. Even in a silly book, I assure you that this is not something you just don't bother with. Even Roald Dahl's mean-because-they're-just-mean characters--like the aunts in James and the Giant Peach--behave according to a set of rules, simplistic though they may be. What was really going on here, anyway?
Well, what was really going on was two kids are going to repeatedly try and fail to escape Heck (um, by getting to the surface?), and it's funny to watch them get buried in sewage, while going along the way making weak literary references (to stuff kids won't see until they hit high school) and cracking jokes about Watergate and Typhoid Mary (that kids don't get on their own but don't receive enough info in the book to want to research it). And at the end nothing has been proven, nothing has been revealed, no one has grown as a character, and little has been resolved. The book kind of bewildered me.
I have to say that I love children's literature and am a big fan of Roald Dahl, Lemony Snicket, Eva Ibbotson, Dav Pilkey, and many authors who write improbable/impossible, silly fiction for kids. I say this because I don't want people reading this review to think I don't like silly or I don't read kids' books or I expect everything to be "realistic." What I do expect is internal consistency, jokes that are both natural and actually funny (not jokes whose punch lines are the whole reason a scene was written), decent characters, and a respect for the audience. This, to me, read like the work of someone who thinks writing a kids' book is about stringing together a bunch of silly situations and sticking in bathroom humor to make sure they laugh. I stress this is coming from someone who reads and loves Captain Underpants, for Pete's sake. There needs to be something more than a bunch of trying-to-be-clever jokes (think "restroom" being replaced with "unrestroom," "pitchfork" becoming "pitchspork," and "Chuck E. Cheese" becoming "Upchucky Cheez," just to get you started).
I think a couple other people on here have said Basye should try writing for adults. I really don't know. I was so disappointed by this poorly executed, empty work that I can't tell how much of it was because he was trying so hard to make kids think his work is hilarious. I'm sad to say I don't see much that's got redeeming value in here. That's hard for me to say as a reader, a writer, and an editor, because I know how hard it can be to write a book. But I'm left confused as to what purpose this book serves, what the author was trying to DO, and why every joke except one made me groan (not in that sort-of-good groaning-at-a-pun way, either). Was he doing what Dante did and casting the people he particularly hates (thin blonde girls and mean gym teachers, for instance) into circles of Heck where they receive well-deserved (according to him) punishments? That hypothesis is made especially likely if you read his acknowledgments, in which he sorta-kinda thanks all the kids and adults who tortured/teased him while growing up and made his life a "living heck," which apparently inspired him to write the book. That just feels weird, overall.
If you're interested to know, the one time I did laugh was when Marlo advises her brother that drinking the sulfur water is "like drinking a fart." Good one.
I would suggest to the author that he quit overusing the word "groused," also. It's quite an unusual word, especially in a kids' book. Referring to people "grousing" like six or seven times in a short novel is kind of uncomfortable.
The main characters: Best thing about them was the realism with regards to the sibling relationship. Everything else was flat; the characters were stereotypes: There's Marlo, the badass goth girl who steals for no reason (but seems to care a lot about fashion and cosmetics in a much more traditional way), and Milton, who wears thick glasses, is a germophobe, is scared of everything, and doesn't actually belong in Heck (oh, and has bad allergies). They ARE their situations. Milton was supposed to be the sympathetic character, wrongly assigned to Heck (though even when the book comes to a close we're really not sure WHY), and yet I found him annoying and petulant and not likable.
The supporting characters: No, they weren't characters. They were walking, talking jokes. We're in Heck, not Hell. So we don't get Beelzebub; we get Bea "Elsa" Bubb. Oh well isn't that HILARIOUS? (Um . . . no.) And of course you catch her in her curlers (but the hair is on her BACK, oh HAW HAW HAW), or see her eating something that's just there to make a dumb pun. This sort of thing sometimes works if you're Lemony Snicket and you know how to do it. Here it did not work. Ever. Sorry. Other characters were just random teachers who were assigned teaching positions that were supposed to be ironic (like Nixon teaching ethics, etc.). They were featured as a storm of trying-to-be-clever ideas but without any actual point in being there. Boy, isn't it funny that in biology class you actually dissect your teacher while she's teaching you? Knee slap! Which leads me to my biggest problem with the book:
The premise. Dear God, the premise. What?
I don't understand. What are the children doing in Heck? It's like no one ever actually worked this out. "Yeah they are just kids so they go to Heck, not Hell, and then they have to go to school." To do what? When does this circle assigning they mentioned actually happen, and why are they going to school beforehand? Is there a point to only feeding them really gross stuff? Are they just being punished, or are they being rehabilitated? That's never really clear. Why are the boys and the girls separated, and what's actually different about their experience that necessitates this? (Well, or is it really a plot device to make sure the brother and sister can't talk to each other?) If they're just supposed to be punished for being bad on Earth, why is one of the worst children--Milton's enemy, Damian (of course his name is Damian)--assigned special status and given privileges like he's respected by even the teachers? Wouldn't it make more sense that he would be punished worse? Why, in Heck, would the bully get something he enjoys? The answer is . . . because the author apparently didn't think continuity and consistency of premise is important. Even in a silly book, I assure you that this is not something you just don't bother with. Even Roald Dahl's mean-because-they're-just-mean characters--like the aunts in James and the Giant Peach--behave according to a set of rules, simplistic though they may be. What was really going on here, anyway?
Well, what was really going on was two kids are going to repeatedly try and fail to escape Heck (um, by getting to the surface?), and it's funny to watch them get buried in sewage, while going along the way making weak literary references (to stuff kids won't see until they hit high school) and cracking jokes about Watergate and Typhoid Mary (that kids don't get on their own but don't receive enough info in the book to want to research it). And at the end nothing has been proven, nothing has been revealed, no one has grown as a character, and little has been resolved. The book kind of bewildered me.
I have to say that I love children's literature and am a big fan of Roald Dahl, Lemony Snicket, Eva Ibbotson, Dav Pilkey, and many authors who write improbable/impossible, silly fiction for kids. I say this because I don't want people reading this review to think I don't like silly or I don't read kids' books or I expect everything to be "realistic." What I do expect is internal consistency, jokes that are both natural and actually funny (not jokes whose punch lines are the whole reason a scene was written), decent characters, and a respect for the audience. This, to me, read like the work of someone who thinks writing a kids' book is about stringing together a bunch of silly situations and sticking in bathroom humor to make sure they laugh. I stress this is coming from someone who reads and loves Captain Underpants, for Pete's sake. There needs to be something more than a bunch of trying-to-be-clever jokes (think "restroom" being replaced with "unrestroom," "pitchfork" becoming "pitchspork," and "Chuck E. Cheese" becoming "Upchucky Cheez," just to get you started).
I think a couple other people on here have said Basye should try writing for adults. I really don't know. I was so disappointed by this poorly executed, empty work that I can't tell how much of it was because he was trying so hard to make kids think his work is hilarious. I'm sad to say I don't see much that's got redeeming value in here. That's hard for me to say as a reader, a writer, and an editor, because I know how hard it can be to write a book. But I'm left confused as to what purpose this book serves, what the author was trying to DO, and why every joke except one made me groan (not in that sort-of-good groaning-at-a-pun way, either). Was he doing what Dante did and casting the people he particularly hates (thin blonde girls and mean gym teachers, for instance) into circles of Heck where they receive well-deserved (according to him) punishments? That hypothesis is made especially likely if you read his acknowledgments, in which he sorta-kinda thanks all the kids and adults who tortured/teased him while growing up and made his life a "living heck," which apparently inspired him to write the book. That just feels weird, overall.
If you're interested to know, the one time I did laugh was when Marlo advises her brother that drinking the sulfur water is "like drinking a fart." Good one.
I would suggest to the author that he quit overusing the word "groused," also. It's quite an unusual word, especially in a kids' book. Referring to people "grousing" like six or seven times in a short novel is kind of uncomfortable.
January 21, 2014
What happens if you're too horrid for Heaven but not quite bad enough for Hell?
Welcome to Heck, a limboland of wait and see, where recently deceased youngsters can learn and hopefully ascend, or wind up in H - E - double-hockey sticks with the big, red dude.
After succumbing to injuries sustained in a bizarre exploding-marshmallow incident, Marlo and Milton are sent to Heck. Here, they are given the opportunity to mend their "evil" ways and join Mother Teresa in Sixth Heaven (the buffet there is to die for!), or go to, well, you-know-where.
I didn't think this was nearly as bad as some reviewers would have you believe. In fact, the first half of the book is richly imaginative and packed with nifty little details:
- Tots spend nap time in gingerbread coffins where demons read aloud to them the horror stories of Edgar Allan Poe and Danielle Steele.
- The boys are all outfitted in yellow lederhosen.
- Entertainment choices are a singing purple dinosaur or a documentary featuring a real-time broadcast of paint drying.
- And Richard Nixon teaches ethics!
I could see this being turned into a swell Tim Burtonesque CGI movie.
The big problems I had with the book were the second half - not much more than a series of escape attempts, AND the kids themselves. They had NO personalities, and were never able to transcend their stereotypes of bad girl, nerd, fat-boy sidekick and bully.
Perhaps this issue is addressed in later volumes of the series, but I'm done. The eight other Circles of Heck will remain unvisited by me.
Welcome to Heck, a limboland of wait and see, where recently deceased youngsters can learn and hopefully ascend, or wind up in H - E - double-hockey sticks with the big, red dude.
After succumbing to injuries sustained in a bizarre exploding-marshmallow incident, Marlo and Milton are sent to Heck. Here, they are given the opportunity to mend their "evil" ways and join Mother Teresa in Sixth Heaven (the buffet there is to die for!), or go to, well, you-know-where.
I didn't think this was nearly as bad as some reviewers would have you believe. In fact, the first half of the book is richly imaginative and packed with nifty little details:
- Tots spend nap time in gingerbread coffins where demons read aloud to them the horror stories of Edgar Allan Poe and Danielle Steele.
- The boys are all outfitted in yellow lederhosen.
- Entertainment choices are a singing purple dinosaur or a documentary featuring a real-time broadcast of paint drying.
- And Richard Nixon teaches ethics!
I could see this being turned into a swell Tim Burtonesque CGI movie.
The big problems I had with the book were the second half - not much more than a series of escape attempts, AND the kids themselves. They had NO personalities, and were never able to transcend their stereotypes of bad girl, nerd, fat-boy sidekick and bully.
Perhaps this issue is addressed in later volumes of the series, but I'm done. The eight other Circles of Heck will remain unvisited by me.
October 8, 2020
I give this book three stars, although if you listen to the audio book narrated by my favorite reader, Bronson Pinchot you can boost it up to four stars.
The story of a brother and sister who are killed at a shopping mall when a giant marshmallow bear explodes on them as they attempt to shoplift an oar is rather silly. You can see many of the gags coming a mile away.
But Pinchot reads it as if the old material is fresh and new. He has excellent timing, knows just how long to pause before exploding a zinger, masters the voices of different characters with a fantastic vocal range.
The only weird thing was his Long John Silver voice. He did Shrek, not Tim Curry's grandfather (ask me if that needs explanation).
Bronson, if you are reading this, pirates talk Cornish. If you want lessons call me. It is how all the aunties in my family talk to babies, going back hundreds of years. It survived crossing the ocean and moving halfway across this continent.
But I digress. As I always do.
If you are in 5th grade you might enjoy reading this book in study hall or some other place you need to be quiet. Otherwise, get it on Audible and turn up the volume.
The story of a brother and sister who are killed at a shopping mall when a giant marshmallow bear explodes on them as they attempt to shoplift an oar is rather silly. You can see many of the gags coming a mile away.
But Pinchot reads it as if the old material is fresh and new. He has excellent timing, knows just how long to pause before exploding a zinger, masters the voices of different characters with a fantastic vocal range.
The only weird thing was his Long John Silver voice. He did Shrek, not Tim Curry's grandfather (ask me if that needs explanation).
Bronson, if you are reading this, pirates talk Cornish. If you want lessons call me. It is how all the aunties in my family talk to babies, going back hundreds of years. It survived crossing the ocean and moving halfway across this continent.
But I digress. As I always do.
If you are in 5th grade you might enjoy reading this book in study hall or some other place you need to be quiet. Otherwise, get it on Audible and turn up the volume.
October 10, 2009
Brother & sister (Milton & Marlo Fauster) die in a freak accident and are condemed to eternal "darnation" as punishement for their earthly sins...a place tailor made for the sins of youth.
I liked this book initially, for the imagniative writing and scaled-down paralells to Dante, but I came to think that much of the message went over the head of the intended audience. Few kids can make the connection between Bea "Elsa" Bubb and the devil, and fewer still, I suspect, can name the "sins" of such "heckish" figures as Lizzie Borden or Richard Nixon. I got tired, as an adult reader, of such allusions, and I suspect that kids would find this tiresome as well.
I felt like this book was an attempt to highjack the adult and juvinile audience at the same time, which I think is rarely successful.
I liked this book initially, for the imagniative writing and scaled-down paralells to Dante, but I came to think that much of the message went over the head of the intended audience. Few kids can make the connection between Bea "Elsa" Bubb and the devil, and fewer still, I suspect, can name the "sins" of such "heckish" figures as Lizzie Borden or Richard Nixon. I got tired, as an adult reader, of such allusions, and I suspect that kids would find this tiresome as well.
I felt like this book was an attempt to highjack the adult and juvinile audience at the same time, which I think is rarely successful.
December 9, 2008
Grades 5-7
When Milton and his juvenile delinquent sister Marlo are killed by an exploding marshmellow mall sculpture/fountain, they are sent to Heck. Heck is a kind of limbo where bad kids go before descending into one of the nine layers of hell. The trouble is, Milton is good--the only “bad” thing he has ever done is get blamed for his sister’s petty thievery. Heck is an awful place, full of demons, teachers like Lizzie Borden and Nixon, a giant purple dinosaur that sings, and liver in the vending machine. The premise is clever, but kids are unlikely to get the significance of many of the cultural and historical jokes (aka Typhoid Mary as a teacher). In spite of a terrific jacket cover, the reader, like Marlo and Milton, will spend most of the book trying to find a way out of Heck, with its bad puns, obtuse historical references, and painful pace.
When Milton and his juvenile delinquent sister Marlo are killed by an exploding marshmellow mall sculpture/fountain, they are sent to Heck. Heck is a kind of limbo where bad kids go before descending into one of the nine layers of hell. The trouble is, Milton is good--the only “bad” thing he has ever done is get blamed for his sister’s petty thievery. Heck is an awful place, full of demons, teachers like Lizzie Borden and Nixon, a giant purple dinosaur that sings, and liver in the vending machine. The premise is clever, but kids are unlikely to get the significance of many of the cultural and historical jokes (aka Typhoid Mary as a teacher). In spite of a terrific jacket cover, the reader, like Marlo and Milton, will spend most of the book trying to find a way out of Heck, with its bad puns, obtuse historical references, and painful pace.
March 25, 2017
Man...what the HECK is up with this book? (See what I did there? Didn't laugh? I don't blame you...but guess what? The puns in this book are just as unbearable)! Albeit a very clever idea with a kiddie purgatory and all, the execution of this book is so outrageous and all over the map I felt a tear trickle down my cheek while reading it.
The only parts that made me laugh was the part where it talks about Lizzy Borden and Nixon teaching kids in hell. I didn't laugh at what I was supposed to laugh at, but was instead wondering why the HECK the author chose Nixon as a hellish teacher instead of thousands of other evil historical figures (like Attila or Genghis Khan for examples). Lizzie Borden was a good choice but NIXON!? Also, why are they going to school is purgatory? This makes not sense whatsoever. Since they behaved badly up in Earth (and they weren't even that bad), why are they going to school that's teaching them to be a-holes? What the flipping HECK??? (I gotta stop with these puns). Purgatory in Christian mythology was a place where you went temporarily to be cleansed of your sins before ascending into Heaven...so going to school taught by a-holes to teach kids to be even bigger a-holes does not make a lick of sense.
This would have been a very good book of it was written better and the puns weren't so stupid! (Instead of Beelzebub, we get Bee L.S Bubb or something like that). The jokes can even stoop so low they're going back to early elementary school toilet humor. I remember one quote in the book was "We gotta move these kids or else we'll be more clogged up than Bee L.S Bubb's toilet!" Funny, right? Hahahaha......no.
Overall, this book is not very good. I'll be polite and put it that way. I read it six years ago and tried to read it again. Hated it as much as I did when I was 10.
The only parts that made me laugh was the part where it talks about Lizzy Borden and Nixon teaching kids in hell. I didn't laugh at what I was supposed to laugh at, but was instead wondering why the HECK the author chose Nixon as a hellish teacher instead of thousands of other evil historical figures (like Attila or Genghis Khan for examples). Lizzie Borden was a good choice but NIXON!? Also, why are they going to school is purgatory? This makes not sense whatsoever. Since they behaved badly up in Earth (and they weren't even that bad), why are they going to school that's teaching them to be a-holes? What the flipping HECK??? (I gotta stop with these puns). Purgatory in Christian mythology was a place where you went temporarily to be cleansed of your sins before ascending into Heaven...so going to school taught by a-holes to teach kids to be even bigger a-holes does not make a lick of sense.
This would have been a very good book of it was written better and the puns weren't so stupid! (Instead of Beelzebub, we get Bee L.S Bubb or something like that). The jokes can even stoop so low they're going back to early elementary school toilet humor. I remember one quote in the book was "We gotta move these kids or else we'll be more clogged up than Bee L.S Bubb's toilet!" Funny, right? Hahahaha......no.
Overall, this book is not very good. I'll be polite and put it that way. I read it six years ago and tried to read it again. Hated it as much as I did when I was 10.
July 21, 2017
Siblings Marlo and Milton die from a marshmallow accident and end up in Heck, a kind of reform school and holding place for kids under the age of 18. Marlo, supposedly, is deserving of Heck, but Milton is placed there due to a clerical error. There are lots of icky details as the two, joined soon by Virgil, navigate through the sticky, yucky school. Richard Nixon teaches them ethics, and Lizzie Borden home economics, both of which made me chuckle. There's also a few near escapes, orchestrated by the ever enterprising Marlo.
I read "Heck" not expecting to get any deep commentary on the human condition, or vivid characterizations, and neither of those exist in this middle grade novel. Instead there are hijinks, gross outs, and a very strong sibling bond.
I read "Heck" not expecting to get any deep commentary on the human condition, or vivid characterizations, and neither of those exist in this middle grade novel. Instead there are hijinks, gross outs, and a very strong sibling bond.
January 18, 2022
Hm.
I think I would have enjoyed this if I read it at the age it’s intended for. A lot of puns and sarcastic humor that, while I didn’t find it very funny, would have hit the mark fairly close in my early teens.
I probably won’t continue with this series but it was fun nonetheless.
I think I would have enjoyed this if I read it at the age it’s intended for. A lot of puns and sarcastic humor that, while I didn’t find it very funny, would have hit the mark fairly close in my early teens.
I probably won’t continue with this series but it was fun nonetheless.
September 5, 2019
The beginning of this book was so delightful and hilarious I could hardly stand it. ALL the undeworld puns and references to afterlife literature. My enthusiasm flagged a bit through the middle, but I still enjoyed it. The audiobook, narrated by Bronson Pinchot, was really well-done and his voice was perfectly suited to the story.
November 30, 2021
This was sooooo fun. It gave me a lot of Sally Face vibes. This isn’t a book to take seriously. It’s for laughs and an adventure. I can’t wait to read the others.
May 27, 2017
I listened to the audio book with my 10 year old son. While the narrator did a good job with the voices, the story had too many one liners, puns and characters that went over his head. It was too advanced for him to get the jokes of Lizzie Borden, Richard Nixon and Bee "Elsa" Bub, yet too eye rolling for me.
I'm not sure what age group I would recommend this one to.
Update: Now I understand why I thought the narrator did such a good job, because it's Bronson Pinchot!
I'm not sure what age group I would recommend this one to.
Update: Now I understand why I thought the narrator did such a good job, because it's Bronson Pinchot!
August 5, 2022
Super silly, it's fine to strive for that, but the story is boring and the gags are clever but it all quickly becomes tiresome. The world and the characters do not seem fleshed out. I listened to the audiobook and the voice talent did a really great job, but couldn't save the poor story.
January 29, 2010
This book tempted me for months. Sitting on the New Books rack with its glowing colors and intricate goth-y cover illustration of two cool kids. And finally I succumbed, took it home, began reading it, a chapter at a time, to my kids at bedtime.
As the dark, twisted details and plot points added up - shoplifting and vandalism, a giant marshmallow bear, thrift-store black dresses - I kept waiting for the story to gel. But beyond the premise: that there is a junior league Hell called Heck, and that's where bad kids go, which you can get from the title... there really isn't that much story. This is one of those world-building books in which the characters wander around discovering each aspect of their world. The food. The organizational structure. The economy. And here's what happens when you read a book like that - either you enjoy the imagination of the writer, and you love the details and characters that he or she lovingly describes, or you do not care for the writer's vision, and you do not enjoy the book.
A Series of Unfortunate Events falls this way. Readers either like names such as Carmelita Spats and details such as Count Olaf's hideous monobrow (me) or they don't (some people). So maybe it's just me with Heck. But I think I can be objective in saying that it falls rather flat. I find the tone unvarying, the word choice a bit unimaginative, and the pace slow. In addition, many of the jokes will zip right over the heads of the child reader, starting with the surname of the main characters - they are Marlo and Milton Fauster. Not Foster, Faust-er. Get it? As in the fifteenth-century German alchemist, later the subject of a play by Goethe?
You get forgiven a couple of those, in my opinion, but this book is kind of loaded with them. And I believe that dark and twisted works even better when the main characters respect each other. All dark and no light makes a YA graphic novel, not middle grade fiction.
I'd recommend Debi Gliori's Pure Dead Magic books and the Tales of Dripping Fang to kids attracted by Heck's creepy-cool allure.
As the dark, twisted details and plot points added up - shoplifting and vandalism, a giant marshmallow bear, thrift-store black dresses - I kept waiting for the story to gel. But beyond the premise: that there is a junior league Hell called Heck, and that's where bad kids go, which you can get from the title... there really isn't that much story. This is one of those world-building books in which the characters wander around discovering each aspect of their world. The food. The organizational structure. The economy. And here's what happens when you read a book like that - either you enjoy the imagination of the writer, and you love the details and characters that he or she lovingly describes, or you do not care for the writer's vision, and you do not enjoy the book.
A Series of Unfortunate Events falls this way. Readers either like names such as Carmelita Spats and details such as Count Olaf's hideous monobrow (me) or they don't (some people). So maybe it's just me with Heck. But I think I can be objective in saying that it falls rather flat. I find the tone unvarying, the word choice a bit unimaginative, and the pace slow. In addition, many of the jokes will zip right over the heads of the child reader, starting with the surname of the main characters - they are Marlo and Milton Fauster. Not Foster, Faust-er. Get it? As in the fifteenth-century German alchemist, later the subject of a play by Goethe?
You get forgiven a couple of those, in my opinion, but this book is kind of loaded with them. And I believe that dark and twisted works even better when the main characters respect each other. All dark and no light makes a YA graphic novel, not middle grade fiction.
I'd recommend Debi Gliori's Pure Dead Magic books and the Tales of Dripping Fang to kids attracted by Heck's creepy-cool allure.
September 25, 2010
Some spoilage:
Marlo and her brother Milton die in an unfortunate accident involving a giant marshmallow bear with a stick of dynamite up its behind. Even though Milton is a good kid, they are both sent to Heck. The grotesque Ms. Bea ‘Elsa’ Bubb and a squad of bvd-wearing demons and monsters carrying pitch-sporks run heck. The vending machines in the cafeterium contain Brussels sprouts and liver.
Tortures vary in Heck: some kids are forced to withdraw cold turkey from phonics (See? Do kids today remember ‘hooked on phonics?’). Others wait anxiously for Christmas morning, forced to stare at a clock that reads 11:59 p.m. for all eternity. The boys are required to wear wool lederhosen and wooden clogs designed by none other than Mr. Dior. Turns out Dior is in Heck for ‘fanning the flames of vanity and its dark twin, insecurity’.
The book is written for kids but some of the material might be over their heads. Because Heck is for younger sinners, classes are offered to prepare the kids for the real deal when they turn eighteen. Richard Nixon teaches the ethics class and Lizzie Borden heads the home ec class. Do kids today know Nixon’s legacy? They probably have a better chance of recognizing Lizzie Borden. Oh well, off my soapbox.
The book definitely contains adult-pleasing material. For instance, we learn that only seventeen people actually inhabit Heaven. The rest did not pass the test. George Washington goes to h-e-double hockey sticks because he owned slaves, Joan of Arc because she was French and Mother Theresa because she once took a day off after contracting dysentery.
I’m saving this book to read to my future grandchildren. What they don’t understand, Grammy will explain to them. And I know just where to start:
Lizzie Borden took an axe.
Gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.
Marlo and her brother Milton die in an unfortunate accident involving a giant marshmallow bear with a stick of dynamite up its behind. Even though Milton is a good kid, they are both sent to Heck. The grotesque Ms. Bea ‘Elsa’ Bubb and a squad of bvd-wearing demons and monsters carrying pitch-sporks run heck. The vending machines in the cafeterium contain Brussels sprouts and liver.
Tortures vary in Heck: some kids are forced to withdraw cold turkey from phonics (See? Do kids today remember ‘hooked on phonics?’). Others wait anxiously for Christmas morning, forced to stare at a clock that reads 11:59 p.m. for all eternity. The boys are required to wear wool lederhosen and wooden clogs designed by none other than Mr. Dior. Turns out Dior is in Heck for ‘fanning the flames of vanity and its dark twin, insecurity’.
The book is written for kids but some of the material might be over their heads. Because Heck is for younger sinners, classes are offered to prepare the kids for the real deal when they turn eighteen. Richard Nixon teaches the ethics class and Lizzie Borden heads the home ec class. Do kids today know Nixon’s legacy? They probably have a better chance of recognizing Lizzie Borden. Oh well, off my soapbox.
The book definitely contains adult-pleasing material. For instance, we learn that only seventeen people actually inhabit Heaven. The rest did not pass the test. George Washington goes to h-e-double hockey sticks because he owned slaves, Joan of Arc because she was French and Mother Theresa because she once took a day off after contracting dysentery.
I’m saving this book to read to my future grandchildren. What they don’t understand, Grammy will explain to them. And I know just where to start:
Lizzie Borden took an axe.
Gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 25, 2011
so my mom wanted me to read this book seeing how i have a good intrest in hell. apperently, this was the first thing she saw about hell, my bad, heck. now this book was ok. not god awful like some books i read, but ok. one reason i think this is because it was meant for a younger audience. another thing was all the cameos by dead people, and yet they missed the most obvious one! Ozzy Osbourne as the music teacher. The fact that he's still alive makes it even more hilarious. now sometimes cameos are good but in here i just didnt like them.
Now for the good things about the book! it was very descriptive. Basye did a good job at describing all the scenery in heck, from the ghastly landscapes to the disgusting creatures, i got a good idea of what they looked like. another thing was the Bea "Elsa" Bubb joke. When i finally got it, i laughed a little. Unfortunetly I did not get that joke when I first saw it on the blurb, but when I read into the first few chapters. I felt slow then.
So my rating here is 2 stars because when i put my mouse over it, it said "it was ok". Those were my exact thoughts on this book. Have a nice day folks!
Now for the good things about the book! it was very descriptive. Basye did a good job at describing all the scenery in heck, from the ghastly landscapes to the disgusting creatures, i got a good idea of what they looked like. another thing was the Bea "Elsa" Bubb joke. When i finally got it, i laughed a little. Unfortunetly I did not get that joke when I first saw it on the blurb, but when I read into the first few chapters. I felt slow then.
So my rating here is 2 stars because when i put my mouse over it, it said "it was ok". Those were my exact thoughts on this book. Have a nice day folks!
August 29, 2008
There were some neat things about this book---the spoofs/puns on names and things was funny (example : Upchucky Cheez and the principal named Bea "Elsa" Bubb). But there was so much literal potty humor (many scenes of crawling through sewers)and a real non-ending that put me off. The ending and a preview note at the end indicate that this will be a series---using a Dantian nine rings of Heck motif. I doubt that I will follow the series. By the way, Heck is like a juvie Hell where you stay for infinity or until you reach 18....
December 3, 2019
A very good children’s read about a very serious subject! It can be a little gruesome at times but then again, so is Roald Dahl in his storytelling. If you aren’t too sensitive about violence as humor (especially towards children) then you will find this a good read. Some adult references to Richard Nixon and Dior being in “heck” and play on words make this a somewhat entertaining read for adults as well. Very much enjoyed the connected between Dante’s Inferno and children’s literature. Author is a very creative thinker and very much against bullying!
June 18, 2009
Oh how I wish that books like this had been around when I was a kid. Having a little brother IS like a heart shaped bruise. A delightful and funny story that is probably even more enjoyable to an adult audience. I laughed out loud many times and was even grossed out a few times too. I can't wait to read the next one!
January 14, 2020
I was assigned this book in a literature class surveying Heaven and Hell. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. I could do without all the poop, but hey, I guess that is Hell. Lol. I’ll continue to read.
December 3, 2020
⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Children aren’t fully responsible for their actions, so if they die, they don’t go to Hell. They go to Heck—an eternal school where they are humiliated and tortured in true child-like ways—by things like horribly hideous school uniforms, eternal time-out, and Christmas that never comes.
This book was quirky and weird. It says it’s for children, but I REALLY question that. Aside from being pretty dark, there’s so many jokes and references for adults, I don’t know if a kid would get half these references—for example, having Richard Nixon teach an ethics class, or Lizzie Borden teaching home-ec? Even the names—Virgil, Milton, Marlowe, and Fauster—are references within themselves that some adults might miss. But, that’s part of what I liked about this book—it’s overall quirkiness and absurdity and hilarious references. At one point, one of the kids asks if George Washington made it to Heaven, to which the Principal of Heck (Ms. Bea Elsa Bubb) laughs and says, “He might have never told a lie, but he didn’t think twice about starting a war and owning slaves.” Well played, Basye. Well played.
It was like if Dante’s Inferno and Pratchett and Gaiman’s Good Omens and Roald Dahl’s Matilda had a baby...that’s what this book was. I’m debating on if I want to start the second book or not, though, because it’s a 9 book series (get it? 9 circles of hell?), and all but the 9th book has been released. Plus, do I even want to commit to a 9 book series? I don’t know, man. I just don’t know.
Children aren’t fully responsible for their actions, so if they die, they don’t go to Hell. They go to Heck—an eternal school where they are humiliated and tortured in true child-like ways—by things like horribly hideous school uniforms, eternal time-out, and Christmas that never comes.
This book was quirky and weird. It says it’s for children, but I REALLY question that. Aside from being pretty dark, there’s so many jokes and references for adults, I don’t know if a kid would get half these references—for example, having Richard Nixon teach an ethics class, or Lizzie Borden teaching home-ec? Even the names—Virgil, Milton, Marlowe, and Fauster—are references within themselves that some adults might miss. But, that’s part of what I liked about this book—it’s overall quirkiness and absurdity and hilarious references. At one point, one of the kids asks if George Washington made it to Heaven, to which the Principal of Heck (Ms. Bea Elsa Bubb) laughs and says, “He might have never told a lie, but he didn’t think twice about starting a war and owning slaves.” Well played, Basye. Well played.
It was like if Dante’s Inferno and Pratchett and Gaiman’s Good Omens and Roald Dahl’s Matilda had a baby...that’s what this book was. I’m debating on if I want to start the second book or not, though, because it’s a 9 book series (get it? 9 circles of hell?), and all but the 9th book has been released. Plus, do I even want to commit to a 9 book series? I don’t know, man. I just don’t know.
August 24, 2020
This is really funny, really, but it's mostly a flop. There is no plot, except trying to escape...which you kind of know they don't, because this is an 8-9 book series. So while I wished I was enjoying the genuinely funny references to Lizzy Borden or Christian Dior, I just wondered when it would be over. Several parts of it were also severely dated. The ending picked up a little, and I loved the concept, and also enjoyed the chance to research/chat over the famous characters who found themselves in Heck with the girls. But did not overall enjoy. The kids' reviews were mixed. Iris (10) loved it, I could tell Gillie (12) felt much the same that I did, often proclaimed weariness and wasn't motivated to read it.
**They also blow the Santa thing right out of the water in this book, just as an alert to parents.
**They also blow the Santa thing right out of the water in this book, just as an alert to parents.
August 12, 2023
Heck, where the bad kids go, is nowhere I'd like to go. Even the thought of my granddaughters picking this book up gives me the creeps. Yes, it creeped me out.
It is well written and there are many humous references to things twisted from things we know into things that are unearthly and painful. I could be being hard on Dale E. Basye, but I struggled to read it. Read it I did though. I don't like to be beaten by my own sense of self and beliefs by a book that is clearly something quite different.
Right from the start Marlo was being a devil. She deserved to go to Heck. Milton, her brother, has been tricked by his sister and therefore damned for eternity to endure the torments of Heck and its creepy demon headmistress Bea 'Elsa' Bubb.
Will Milton and his pet Ferret escape eternal torture and return to their former lives?
I dare you to read this twisted demented gross demented world to find out.
It is well written and there are many humous references to things twisted from things we know into things that are unearthly and painful. I could be being hard on Dale E. Basye, but I struggled to read it. Read it I did though. I don't like to be beaten by my own sense of self and beliefs by a book that is clearly something quite different.
Right from the start Marlo was being a devil. She deserved to go to Heck. Milton, her brother, has been tricked by his sister and therefore damned for eternity to endure the torments of Heck and its creepy demon headmistress Bea 'Elsa' Bubb.
Will Milton and his pet Ferret escape eternal torture and return to their former lives?
I dare you to read this twisted demented gross demented world to find out.
February 4, 2024
Full disclosure: I picked this book out of the free Audible list solely because it was read by Bronson Pinchot. And he is definitely the best thing about it. He gets to do a lot of great voices (including a fantastic Blackbeard!)
It's a YA book, so I am certainly not the target audience, but I still feel it is kinda lazy and uneven, and thusly a little disrespectful to the (intended) readers. Lots of poop jokes.
On the other hand, there is some heady metaphysical stuff here---It's a story about the particular limbo for kids who die who aren't quite bad enough for Hell. Anubis makes an appearance and has some really heavy speeches, and Blackbeard lectures about the etheric body.
And then more poop jokes.
I laughed occasionally, and it was free.
It's a YA book, so I am certainly not the target audience, but I still feel it is kinda lazy and uneven, and thusly a little disrespectful to the (intended) readers. Lots of poop jokes.
On the other hand, there is some heady metaphysical stuff here---It's a story about the particular limbo for kids who die who aren't quite bad enough for Hell. Anubis makes an appearance and has some really heavy speeches, and Blackbeard lectures about the etheric body.
And then more poop jokes.
I laughed occasionally, and it was free.
June 8, 2024
There’s a big difference between being actually funny and just being... too much, and this book was firmly in the “too much” category. It seems no joke was off limits for this book (protagonist Marlo repeatedly calls her brother Milton “short bus”). This book was published in 2008. Not only is the humor offensive, but the novel makes direct references to historical figures I doubt the intended audience will get. Lizzie Borden is no longer a household name (my own exposure comes from stumbling on the film, "Lizzie Borden Took an Axe" starring Christina Ricci). This book was obviously written by an adult who didn’t fully take his audience into account. One star for pretty terrible writing.
November 13, 2021
This reminds me of the books my son and I used to listen to together - there was stuff that was funny for me and would have been funny for a 10 year old boy - but listening to it alone didn't have the same appeal. It wasn't bad, and the narration was fun (except for the heavy Scottish accent for Blackbeard... that was just weird) but it just kinda made me sad my boy is no longer 10.
February 16, 2024
I told some coworkers yesterday that it's okay to not finish a crappy books, and none of them agreed--they told me they would suffer through it because they started it and wanted to know how it ended.
Whelp, dnf this book. The top review from 2008 also really help spell out how I was feeling. Why are there babies, what's the point, why is the boy being punished for not actually being bad. There are a lot of logical errors in here as well. References to things kids wouldn't get now and stuff they probably didn't get 15+ years ago.
Due to the low checkouts in the decade this and the sequel have been in my library we decided to chuck em.
Whelp, dnf this book. The top review from 2008 also really help spell out how I was feeling. Why are there babies, what's the point, why is the boy being punished for not actually being bad. There are a lot of logical errors in here as well. References to things kids wouldn't get now and stuff they probably didn't get 15+ years ago.
Due to the low checkouts in the decade this and the sequel have been in my library we decided to chuck em.
January 31, 2018
My book club students chose this for their February read. I can't wait to hear their reactions.
Mine- mindless entertainment.
Mine- mindless entertainment.
Read
October 21, 2022Didn't hold my interest
October 28, 2018
This book (and the whole series) is amazing. I read it when it first came out and bought it for all my younger sisters the second I finished it. This is actually the book that inspired my youngest sister's love of reading. Reading had always been hard for her because she is severely dyslexic and was unfortunately diagnosed kind of late, so she was frustrated and discouraged about reading; this book made her realize that some stories were worth the struggle. Now she gets antsy if she doesn't know what she's going to read next after she finishes the three or four books she's reading at any given time.
It's a little bit dark (obviously, the children are in Kid Hell aka Heck), but the ultimate message is about being good and fighting to do the right thing, even when it seems pointless. Love this series! Recommend to all people!
It's a little bit dark (obviously, the children are in Kid Hell aka Heck), but the ultimate message is about being good and fighting to do the right thing, even when it seems pointless. Love this series! Recommend to all people!
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