Helping Me Help Myself: One Skeptic, Ten Self-Help Gurus, and a Year on the Brink of the Comfort Zone

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Helping Me Help Myself: One Skeptic, Ten Self-Help Gurus, and a Year on the Brink of the Comfort Zone

3.38 of 5 stars 3.38 · rating details · 771 ratings · 216 reviews

Grappling with her lifelong phobia of anything slick, cheesy, or remotely claiming to provide self-empowerment, Beth Lisick wakes up on New Year's Day 2006 with an unprecedented feeling. She is finally able to admit to herself that she's grown tired of embracing the same old set of nagging problems year after year. She has no savings account. Her house feels unorganized an...more

Hardcover, 288 pages

Published January 2nd 2008 by William Morrow & Company (first published January 1st 2008)

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Jul 08, 2008 Lena rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

I was a big fan of Beth Lisick’s first memoir, Everybody Into the Pool. She’s smart and funny, so I figured her new book about a year she spent trying to improve her life through doing various self-help programs would be pretty entertaining. And it is entertaining, in parts. It was also kind of painful for me to read.

Lisick describes herself as someone who would sooner be found making fun of self-help than plunking down hard-earned cash for a self-help book or workshop, so her first transformati...more I was a big fan of Beth Lisick’s first memoir, Everybody Into the Pool. She’s smart and funny, so I figured her new book about a year she spent trying to improve her life through doing various self-help programs would be pretty entertaining. And it is entertaining, in parts. It was also kind of painful for me to read.

Lisick describes herself as someone who would sooner be found making fun of self-help than plunking down hard-earned cash for a self-help book or workshop, so her first transformational task was to suspend her knee-jerk snarkiness in order to give the various programs she explores a fair shot. She's more successful than some at this task, and genuinely tries to find the pearls of wisdom in the works of self-help pioneers ranging from Stephen Covey to John Gray to Deepak Chopra. But she also has no problem poking fun at them along the way as she does things like use Jack Canfield's advice to ask for what you want to ask Jack Canfield for free coaching, a request which Canfield's office respectfully declines.

As Lisick continues her tour by forking over the big bucks to attend various seminars and programs, however, I found myself having painful flashbacks to my own days as a self-help addict. Lisick conveys all too well the feelings of self-doubt that can creep up when you spend a weekend in a hotel conference room with well-dressed go-getters whose lives suddenly look a lot more together than your own (especially since, in her case, a chunk of her meager income is derived from freelance work involving a giant banana costume). Though self-help is supposed to make one's life better, it very often does so by making people feel worse about themselves so they are motivated to buy the next book, tape, seminar or e-coaching program they need to take things "to the next level."

There is no question that Lisick did find a few genuine benefits to her explorations here and there—she followed Suze Orman's advice to lower credit card rates and developed a surprising appreciation for Richard Simmons on a week-long exercise cruise—but I finished the book feeling kind of like there wasn't really a there there. The concept suffered from similar problems to Jennifer Niesslein's memoir on the same topic—Lisick undertook this project as a tourist, not a self-help true believer, so she often wasn't engaged enough in what she was doing to fully engage me as well. In addition, it's just not that easy to make writing about reading self-help books interesting no matter how funny you may happen to be

Ultimately, though, I think the real problem comes down to the fact that Lisick's book feels slight because self-help itself is lacking in genuine substance. Sure, it may make you feel inspired for a few days after the workshop, but sooner or later we all just have to get back to living our lives as best as we know how. Fortunately, it seems like that's a fact Beth Lisick understands pretty well by the end of the book.
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Jun 22, 2008 Imogen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Okay. So. Firstly, if you read these book reviews I write, you know that Ithink I'm hilarious and interesting and want to talk about it all the time, right? And just have a theoretical reason ("my review") to do it? Well, Beth Lisick does that too! This book is ostensibly about her attempts to fix her life with self-help gurus, but really it's about how much of a mess she is and how funny she thinks that is. Which rules.

Full disclosure: I have a crush on her. She came in with her son and signed...more

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Jun 16, 2008 Morgan rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: people who like self help, Richard Simmons fans

Recommended to Morgan by: Bust Magazine

I really liked Beth's voice in this book--sounds like someone who I would love to be friends with. She's funny, self-deprecating, and has all manner of interesting insights. After reading the book, I wanted to look her up and invite her to have coffee so that the two of us could talk about parenting, lack of finances, and the problems of cleaning out our exploding closets.

The book, though, is not that great. In fact, I'm just giving it a three because I like Beth the person so much. The book fee...more

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Aug 05, 2008 jess rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2008

here are some of the reasons why i liked this book, presented to you as a numbered list:
1. i like series. i appreciate the gesture towards applying the same technique or material in a multiplicity of ways. beth lisick tries on various self-help programs, each for one month, for the duration of one year.
2. this book is about setting aside irony & apathy. this is a matter of great interest to me.
3. beth lisick is actually an entertaining writer.
4. there is a real effort to not be judgmental...more here are some of the reasons why i liked this book, presented to you as a numbered list:
1. i like series. i appreciate the gesture towards applying the same technique or material in a multiplicity of ways. beth lisick tries on various self-help programs, each for one month, for the duration of one year.
2. this book is about setting aside irony & apathy. this is a matter of great interest to me.
3. beth lisick is actually an entertaining writer.
4. there is a real effort to not be judgmental about the things that work for other people.
5. beth lisick describes sylvia browne as a seventy-year old courtney love.

it was fascinating for me to watch beth lisick descend into the language and practice of the self-helpers. within a few chapters, she was "visualizing" and "affirming" like she had been doing it for years. i loved her wry sincerity and the efforts to actually be a better artist, more financially sound, life-affirming and successful. i loved loved loved the richard simmons stories, and the worshipful audiences of the gurus. there are constant reminders that these gurus are filthy rich, but there is examination of some of their human sides - canfield as a step-dad, simmons exhausted at the end of the week, sylvia browne's blond frizz. the tension between the two kept me engaged. lisick is pretty broke for much of the book, and spends time resenting these gurus & their millions. me too! framing chuck palahniuk as a self-help guru for the new generation -- a brilliant moment in journalism. if i could change anything, i would have made her write the self-help chapter on her sex life instead of copping out! that chapter needed to be written, dammit.

beth lisick has history with sister spit, and i feel like this cultural anchor provided a specific viewpoint, which was apparent at every turn. i cannot imagine what it would have been to read this book if i didnt recognize her traveling-queer-spoken-word roots. aka you can tell she has hung out with michelle tea & company.

all in all, a charming and quick read with a little tiny bit of insight into our own desire to be, or not to be, a better person. often clever, occasionally "laugh out loud" (LOL) quality humor. (less)

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Apr 15, 2008 Anne rated it 3 of 5 stars

This is one woman's quest to become a better person through self-help guides and personal coaching gurus. Married in Berkeley with a 4-year old son, Lisick is a writer who moonlights as a banana and does various other odd jobs to barely pay the minimum on her bills every month. So, for one year she decides that each month she is going to pick one area of her life to focus on imporving - she will read the self-help books, but she will also, when possible, seek out the masters themselves by attend...more

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Jan 26, 2008 Colleen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Have you ever walked by the self help section of the bookstore and wondered, "would my life be better if I read some of this stuff instead of just scoffing at it? Are all those people really being helped by the secret?" The author of this book did with varying degrees of success. I particularly enjoyed the chapter about cruising the high seas with Richard Simmons. (I had just seen him on the Today show and I think that he sprayed his head with black stuff to make his hair seem fuller. Beside the...more

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Dec 11, 2008 Sarah Giles rated it 1 of 5 stars

Written by cynic who had no intention of really implementing and taking to heart any of the programs she "tried". I truly felt like I took very little from the experience of reading this book. And its too bad, because the concept seemed like a great one!

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Apr 13, 2008 Jamie Felton rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: hilarious, nonfiction

Beth Lisick spends a year trying to improve herself. She reads one self-help book a month for a year inclusing Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, The Artist's Way, and Other well known self-help guides. It is so so funny. She legitimately tries to follow the advice these books give, and while she does discover a lot of things that DO help, she also discovers a lot of things that are ridiculous. Lisick is extremely talented at describing the ridiculous and making even the most mundane in...more

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Jul 25, 2012 Jessica rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

This is one of those "do a thing for a year" books. Lisick decides to dive into the world of self help, and spend the next year learning how to change her life from the top self help gurus, like Deepak Chopra, Suze Ormon and Richard Simmons. I enjoyed it, but at first I wasn't completely convinced that I was going to. In her first chapter, she writes about what led her to the decision to do this...she wakes up bruised and groggy from her New Year's Eve party, and can't remember what happened to...more

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Dec 02, 2009 Mary rated it 3 of 5 stars

Beth Lisick’s book, while an enjoyable read, sort of drove me mad. I worked for the same employer as Beth when I lived in San Francisco in the mid-90’s. I’ve seen her perform and knew her casually; she’s a nice person. So while reading this book, I had a fairly clear picture in my mind of the author and her voice. I don’t know if that helped or harmed the reading.

The premise of the book begins with Lisick’s revelation, on New Year’s Day, that she has no discernible goals in her life, because she...more Beth Lisick’s book, while an enjoyable read, sort of drove me mad. I worked for the same employer as Beth when I lived in San Francisco in the mid-90’s. I’ve seen her perform and knew her casually; she’s a nice person. So while reading this book, I had a fairly clear picture in my mind of the author and her voice. I don’t know if that helped or harmed the reading.

The premise of the book begins with Lisick’s revelation, on New Year’s Day, that she has no discernible goals in her life, because she has always ignored all the things that bug her instead of trying to fix them. And why can’t she try to fix them? Because she is a self-help skeptic. For the sake of having something to write a book about, however, she’s willing to try to overcome her skepticism and improve her life through the power of self-help books and gurus. Lisick’s idea is to go to only the “big guys” in the world of self-help; by avoiding fringe players and scams, she would get advice from “universally recognized experts.” And she’ll spend one month on each, for a year.

Lisick writes in her typical conversational storytelling mode. The book is diary-like in it’s retelling of daily events. In the first chapters, she walks the reader through the details of how she chose her first guru, Jack Canfield, and the next one, Franklin Covey. She summarizes Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” and attends a Covey Convention. With humor and candor, she lets the reader get to know her and some of her problems. Next she chooses John Gray’s Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus.

This is where it starts to feel overly contrived to me. Going to recognized experts is one thing; selecting the most generic and cheesy of the bunch is another. Her next guru, Richard Simmons, is downright retarded. Not because Richard Simmons is retarded, nor do I have anything against him. But she goes on a weight-loss cruise called “Cruise to Lose.” For me, all of her personal confessions in earlier chapters were wiped away by the utterly ridiculous picture of this tall, attractive, and very thin woman on a weight-loss cruise, who ultimately spent several evenings on deck smoking cigarettes. At the outset, her choice to go on this cruise has to do with “dealing with being on a cruise ship with a bunch of fat people from middle America.” Huh.

While the cruise does make for an entertaining story, the rest of the book starts to feel forced. It reminds me of the scenario in Fight Club when the main characters attend numerous therapy groups (AA, OA, cancer survivors) although they have no addictions and aren’t cancer survivors. Like those characters, Lisick is faking it. Each of her guru/book choices are either too arbitrary or too huge—something that would take months to fully explore. So she breezes through each one with aplomb, but she is obviously just filling a quota. I was left with the sense that any true need Lisick had for personal change was kept far from the pages of this book. I kept longing for something that would make me believe she was on a genuine search. Most people are, I think, genuinely searching when they turn to self-help books or gurus.

It must be the fiction lover in me that wanted her to undergo a change or have a revelation. It is absurd to think that spending one month each on 10 different self-improvement projects (she skips two months) would be a serious endeavor, but she seems to present it as serious. While her disingenuousness is little hard to take, most readers can probably forgive Lisick for just being in it for the ride because she does get some really good stories out of it.(less)

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Oct 10, 2009 Adriana added it

Shelves: nonfiction

In Helping Me Help Myself, Beth Lisick wakes up on New Year's Day with a banged-up knee and a head full of nagging issues. At the age of 37, she’s doing pretty well for herself on the surface: she’s happily married, has an adorable son, and owns her own house. However, it is the little things that make her life not-so-perfect. She’s disorganized, out of shape, and still lives pay check to pay check. Lisick decides that over the next year she will seek out the advice of the top self-help gurus in...more

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Sep 07, 2009 misha rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2009, finished, non-fiction

When I saw this at the library I almost hopped up and down, I was so excited. I had read about this book, and was excited to read it, and there it was - I hadn't even reqeusted it.

But sadly, this was one of those books where I thought- thank god I'm good at speed reading. I did want to finish it, but I didn't want to spend too much time doing it.

I don't want to say too much bad about the book, because it looks like the author lives nearby and works with friends of friends of mine. She could be...more

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Apr 18, 2009 Nancy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

The note/over title on the cover reads, “one skeptic, ten self-help gurus, and a year on the bring on the comfort zone.” This book documents Lisick’s year of self-help including Jack Canfield (The Success Principles), Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits…), Richard Simmons, John Gray (Men are from Mars…), Julie Morgenstern (Organizing from the Inside Out), Thomas W. Phelan (123 Magic…), Suze Orman, Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way), Deepak Chopra and Sylvia Browne. (Did I miss anyone?) Lisick reads the bo...more

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Sep 10, 2011 Jacqueline rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: library-books

I read a lot of this currently hip genre - doing some project each month for a year and then writing about it. It is, apparently, what GenX slackers like myself like to do and then write about. I am totally drawn to this - it fits me perfectly with my project driven life.

Beth Lisick tries a new self help thing each month for a year - she thinks that it might be a better resolution then learning how to do the splits. Seriously, that is her thinking. She has never bought a self help book and she i...more

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Oct 19, 2009 Carole rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

I admit it, I read Beth Lisick because she makes me feel better about my life. (A garbage bag covering MOLD on the bedroom wall? REALLY?)

She's funny and personable and I totally enjoy the time I get to virtually hang out with her, reading about her life. Loved her take on Richard Simmons and the minefield that is disciplining your kid. Loved the ahead-of-the-zeitgeist observations about Suze Orman. She really nails the "How to Win Friends" cult.

But I call bullshit on the non-chapters about fas...more

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Sep 26, 2009 Khaya rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: humorous-or-trying-to-be, memoirs

Like many books I've read, the concept of this one was way better than its execution. In this memoir, Beth Lisick joins the ranks of Julie Powell, A.J. Jacobs, and others who take on a crazy one-year project and then write a memoir describing its influence on their day-to-day life and/or their long-term worldview. Lisick's project: to test out the self-help genre as well as the limits of her cynicism, and possibly even get her life on track, by trying to follow the guidelines of one self-help bo...more Like many books I've read, the concept of this one was way better than its execution. In this memoir, Beth Lisick joins the ranks of Julie Powell, A.J. Jacobs, and others who take on a crazy one-year project and then write a memoir describing its influence on their day-to-day life and/or their long-term worldview. Lisick's project: to test out the self-help genre as well as the limits of her cynicism, and possibly even get her life on track, by trying to follow the guidelines of one self-help book every month for an entire year.

A.J. Jacobs set the standard for this kind of memoir, and I suspect that had he written this, it would have been much funnier and more insightful as well. Unfortunately, while Beth Lisick's cynicism and snarkiness make her sound like a fun person to have coffee with, they didn't do justice to this project. I feel her cynicism prevented her from truly immersing herself in the various self-help projects she undertook, which detracted from the depth and quality of the book. And for all her cynicism, the book was not nearly as funny as it might have been. Perhaps a more earnest and genuine attempt to embrace the self-help guidelines would have made for a funnier book than this snarky perspective did.

The book's quality was also limited by lack of focus. Aside from occasional irrelevant digressions about her family, the chapters tended to offer a lot of detail on Beth's experience of attending self-help conferences or lectures, particularly in terms of the other people she met there and her interactions with them as well as whether she was favorably or unfavorably impressed with the personality of the particular self-help guru. Less emphasized, to my disappointment, was her experience of learning and earnestly trying to adopt the particular self-help guidelines she was studying that month. She offered some summary statements about the self-help books themselves and a bit of her own commentary, but not much on what it was actually like to apply this advice and how it changed things for her, or didn't.

Finally, I felt that many of the self-help books she chose did not offer a great deal of fodder. It would have been a lot more interesting to watch Beth try to follow the guidelines of
The Surrendered Wife A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man, for example, or even "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk," than it was getting a vague sense of her attempts to unleash her creativity by writing down her dreams a la The Artist's Way A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.

There are a lot of interesting things to ponder about the self-help genre and its popularity, and Beth occasionally offers up some insights in this regard, but those were few and far between. I will say, though, that this book inspired me to go out and read Sham How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless, which my brother has been recommending for a while.(less)

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May 23, 2012 Bart Breen rated it 4 of 5 stars

A Year's Romp Humorously Presented

Beth Lisick is a talented observational writer who works well with her medium using the self-help industry as a foil for her craft.

The idea of a new Self-Help program every month coupled with the observations of the presenters and conference participants, yielded several laughs for me as well as some wry smiles along the way.

While much of the material is humorous, there are some insights to be gained along the way and in the end she actually manages to draw it t...more

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Dec 12, 2010 Crystal rated it 3 of 5 stars

I picked up this book because, as a therapist, of course I have read several self-help books, and am a big believer in them (although I know there is crap out there too!). Anyways, the author spent a year trying to turn her life around by using self-help information, and wrote a book about it.
Lisick is funny and has some good lines, and some of the adventures are good. However, I had a really hard time not judging her constant complaints about having no money, yet spending thousands of dollars...more

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Aug 17, 2010 Andrea rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs

Three stars because I love Beth Lisick as a person, plus she's a local writer. But this one wasn't all there. The concept is great: follow the advice of one mega-popular self-help book each month for a year. She covers everyone from Jack "The Secret" Canfield to Suze Orman to Deepak Chopra, attending expensive self-help seminars and conferences and even a cruise with Richard Simmons.

But she teases, only giving us little bits and samples of how she actually applied the advice to her life... and...more

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Jul 24, 2009 Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this over spring break, but I seem to have forgotten to add it to my list of books read this year.

Didn’t I already read this book? No, it wasn’t this one, but the idea behind it was exactly the same. The book is Practically Perfect in Every Way and in it the author attempts to try to improve herself by reading self-help books. Beth Lisick does the same thing, but she also decides to try attending a workshop by the author of the self-help book. She feels, by the end of her year, that she...more

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Jul 15, 2009 Deidre rated it 3 of 5 stars

Though this book is rife with hilarious sarcasm and one woman's skeptical attempt to explore life coach's, weight loss cruises and self help guru's galore, it actually helped REDUCE my own growing disillusionment with self improvement techniques. You know how sometimes you randomly read a book just when you need to? That's what happened to me. Having worked in the spiritual industry and getting to much insider information into the often hypocritical personal lives of some of my favorite inspirin...more

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Sep 09, 2012 Susan Marie rated it 4 of 5 stars

What I enjoyed most about this book, I think, was that Lisick really did try to approach each self-help method by taking them seriously and seeing what they had to offer, but that she simultaneously didn't stop being a little skeptical. It's a great balance, and probably a hard one to strike. The whole book is based on the premise that Lisick's life is such a mess that she can't quite look down on anyone who's offering a suggestion that might help. Some of them work really well, some of them are...more

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Aug 13, 2008 Heidi rated it 2 of 5 stars

Having a difficult time jumping into the book. I'm only a few chapters in - hope it gets good soon

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Nov 01, 2007 Andrea rated it 4 of 5 stars

Amusing spin on individuals who would never be caught in self-help, and what they might gain from it...

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Feb 18, 2011 Rhonda rated it 4 of 5 stars

She grew up in San Francisco, went to UC Santa Cruz, and now lives in Berkeley. Is it any wonder that I share so many of her attitudes and opinions?! I loved the wit and the easy-breezy nature of her somewhat sardonic style. Very clever approach- she tries a new self-help guru on for size each month for a year, mostly because she can't believe that people truly go for that stuff. She does have a big heart though which keeps the snark level manageable. Fun reading that doesn't leave you feeling l...more

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Sep 05, 2010 Stephanie W rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction, humor, essays

I first started reading Beth Lisick's book because I heard her reading at Litquake in San Francisco (which she describes in the course of her book). I thought her reading was hilarious and I loved her presentation style. I knew then that I had to read her book..

However, the book itself does not live up to Lisick's style. It is amusing and makes me feel better about my own problems in life, but it loses the flare that made me find her amusing and hilarious. Overall, I feel she is a better perform...more

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Nov 27, 2012 Bonnie G. rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: funny-books, hey-hey-ladies, poppy-cock-culture

Hey. Hey. Hey man, I don't know why this sucked so bad. It just did! Really. It was weird how bad it was. I mean the writing was fine. I kinda liked her. But how limpid is this book?

For all the shit The Happiness Project earned, I truly followed her journey and felt like she really helped herself. Truly! This book was HALF ASSED. Really!

Is it an interesting assessment of gurus? I think so. I really liked her Sylvia Browne chapter. I get her humor. I do. But she needed either a way better method...more

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Mar 06, 2011 Lisa Wolf rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Beth Lisick's "Helping Me Help Myself" falls into the growing category of "my year of xxx" books. You know, my year of cooking the entire cookbook, my year of following all the rules in the Bible, etc. In this case, the author wakes up one New Year's Day, decides her life isn't really going as well as she'd thought, and decides to devote the next year to improving herself by seeking out the top self-help expert in each of her problem areas. She spends a month on personal finance, a month on fitn...more

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Jun 03, 2009 Phoebe rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read Lisick's book "Everybody into the Pool" and it was really funny. She lives around the corner from me and often references life in South Berkeley in her writing, which makes it even more fun to read. I couldn't wait for more Lisick humor when I picked up this book from the library.

"Helping me Help Myself" didn't deliver. It sounds like it will be a funny and informative romp through the self-help movement, made all the more hilarious because Lisick's life is so crazy and unique. ("Everybod...more

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Feb 07, 2009 Leslie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir-read

This book was a lot of fun. Lisick is cynical and funny but not so hardened to just spend the whole book mocking the self-help programs she is trying to learn about. Don't get me wrong, she comes in with a dose of humor for each of the programs but she is also willing to look at their benefits and does get pulled into their "world." For example, she goes on a cruise with Richard Simmons and while I'm sure it would be easy to mock mercilessly, she is captured by his enthusiasm and love for his fa...more

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About Beth Lisick

Beth Lisick, author of the New York Times bestselling book Everybody into the Pool, is also a performer and odd-jobs enthusiast. Her writing has appeared in numerous publications and anthologies including Best American Poetry, the Christian Science Monitor, and Word Warriors: 35 Women Leaders in the Spoken Word Movement. She has contributed to public radio's This American Life and is the cofounder...more

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