Dear Heartbreak

by Heather Demetrios (Editor)

This is a book about the dark side of love: the way it kicks your ass, tears out your heart, and then forces you to eat it, bite by bloody bite. If you’ve felt this way, you’re not alone…

In this powerful collection, YA authors answer real letters from teens all over the world about the dark side of love: dating violence, break-ups, cheating, betrayals, and loneliness. This book contains a no-holds-barred, raw outpouring of the wisdom these authors have culled from mining their own hearts for the fiction they write. Their responses are autobiographical, unflinching, and filled with love and hope for the anonymous teen letter writers.

Featuring Adi Alsaid, Becky Albertalli, Libba Bray, Heather Demetrios, Amy Ewing, Zach Fehst, Gayle Forman, Corey Ann Haydu, Varian Johnson, A.S. King, Nina LaCour, Kim Liggett, Kekla Magoon, Sarah McCarry, Sandhya Menon, Cristina Moracho, Jasmine Warga, and Ibi Zoboi.

Genres: Young Adult, Anthologies, Romance, Short Stories, Contemporary, Mental Health, LGBT

304 pages, Hardcover

First published December 18, 2018

About the author

Heather Demetrios is a critically acclaimed author, writing coach, and certified meditation teacher. She has an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts and is a recipient of the PEN America Susan P. Bloom Discovery Award for her debut novel, Something Real. Her novels include Little Universes, I’ll Meet You There, Bad Romance, as well as the Dark Caravan fantasy series: Exquisite Captive, Blood Passage, and Freedom’s Slave. Her non-fiction includes the Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection Code Name Badass: The True Story of Virginia Hall, and she is the editor of Dear Heartbreak: YA Authors and Teens on the Dark Side of Love. Her honors include books that have been named Bank Street Best Children’s Books, YALSA Best Fiction For Young Adults selections, a Goodreads Choice Nominee, a Kirkus Best Book, and a Barnes and Noble Best Book. Her work has appeared in LA Review of Books, Bustle, School Library Journal, and other fine outlets.

In addition to her writing, Heather is passionate about bringing words and mindfulness to women in the refugee community as well as "helping the helpers" on the ground through mindfulness and therapeutic writing. She works in communications and mindfulness outreach for Becky’s Bathhouse, a wellness center and safe space serving refugee women in Lesvos, Greece. Find out more about how you can support their work here.

Find out more about Heather and her books at heatherdemetrios.com.

Reviews

[Alberto Villarreal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cinco estrellas porque escribí algo ahí. (:

[emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

This idea would make a great, like, project. You know. A pay it forward/start a movement/promote kindness type of deal. As a book? Eh. Not so much.

The conceit of this thing is that Heather Demetrios had a bunch of teens write a letter to “heartbreak” - like, as a concept - and then famous YA authors wrote them letters back. Except not really letters back. They just wrote some response paragraphs and then gave them to ol’ Heather and then Heather compiled them alongside the teens’ very upsetting letters and then boom. You’ve got this book.

It is very, very strange.

When I first heard about this, I imagined it was going to be like that villain book that came out a while ago. BookTubers helped with it and everyone was furious and hated it. Uhh. Quick research break...Okay, Because You Love to Hate Me! (Dumb title, really. Everyone should have known they’d hate it without even picking it up. Like me!)

Anyway, I thought it’d be like that. You know, the teens write all their unbelievably wrenching stuff and the authors write a story about it and the story has a happy or at least hopeful ending and it’s all happy-happy-joy-joy.

But no.

The authors just write a nonfiction letter back which sometimes feels very personal, and sometimes not even inspiring? Sometimes kinda presumptuous? There were a couple where I was like “Uh, Nina LaCour, I don’t know how helpful the fact that you were hot as hell in high school is going to be to this person who is literally in pain over their total lack of romantic history.”

Not to call out Nina or anything.

Anyway again. I had high hopes for this book but it was ultimately too weird. I think if these authors wanted to strike up correspondence with teenagers who are suffering, that would be just rad. As is, this felt like opening someone else’s mailbox in, like, 1947 when a mailbox would have contained something a lil more personal than Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.

Also, the introduction contains this little gem: “To love people in the volatile times we live in—romantically or otherwise—is an act of courage and defiance. We see this [...] in the boy who doesn’t stop asking out the girl he’s crushing on, even though she rejects him every damn time.” Uh, doesn’t read as courageous to me. More like tormenting a girl due to a basic misunderstanding of consent! Very romantic and cute.

(Note: This is an ARC, so quotes may change.)

Bottom line: Non, merci! But again, if these authors are feeling legitimately charitable, rather than just charitable when they know their charitable-ness will be published, I think it’d be nice for them to write to some teens going through hard times.

But I’d believe that when I see it.

Thanks to Macmillan for the ARC! This book is out December 18. (Hell yeah I did this in time.)

[destiny ♡ howling libraries · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF @ pg 87

This is probably the most disappointing, upsetting DNF review I've written in all of 2018 (with the year almost over, at that), but I can't continue this.

When I requested this ARC, it was pitched to me as YA authors writing fictional stories in response to teens' letters about heartbreak—not nonfiction self-help columns, which is what I got. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that, if that's what you're looking for, but I can't stand self-help columns, so that was very jarring for me. That said, I enjoy a lot of the authors involves, so I went into it with an open mind and open heart.

If my only issue with these pieces was that it wasn't what it had been marketed to me as, I would not be giving this collection a rating, but it is a mess. As much as I love Heather Demetrios, I am literally pained over the fact that her name is attached to this, because some of the authors replying to these letters are downright irresponsible.

Of the pieces I read, I only enjoyed Becky Albertalli's (ironic, since I don't enjoy her fiction much), and the rest were "meh" at best and problematic as hell at worst.

→ Nina LaCour's was shockingly tone-deaf; after receiving a letter where the writer complained of feeling unwanted and suffering from FOMO, Nina went on a tangent about what a popular, beautiful, cool teenager she had been, which felt like page upon page of blatant humble-bragging with little to no advice.

→ Adi Alsaid's was okay but gave advice that felt super sketchy to be giving teens (such as recommending a teen find strangers online in their city to meet up with—I could understand suggesting this to grown adults, but the protective mother in me cringes at the thought of a 15-year-old reading this and running off to Craigslist to find some creepy pervert)

→ Libby Bray's had a lot of good advice and was humorous, but I genuinely hope the final edits clean up some of the immensely gendered language. I'm 100% sure it's just second nature and Libby meant no harm, but if the email writer is anonymous, it seems super unfair to me to assume that you're talking to a cishet girl just based on their mention of seeking a boyfriend? :(

→ Kim Liggett's advice was the final straw for me. This letter was from someone seeking advice on how to heal from sexual assault and mentioning how they haven't moved past the rawness of it, yet Kim goes on to describe their own rape as a teen in detail that... I don't know how to explain this, because it wasn't over the top explicit, but the way it was described was immensely triggering for me as a survivor. I'm not saying you can't give advice on healing from assault while mentioning your own, because solidarity and empathy can go a long way, but I think trigger warnings and tact would have gone even further.

So, that's it—this was one of my most anticipated releases of the year due to wrong marketing, and I'm a little broken up over how disappointed I am in this collection. I really wanted to keep going and see if it got better, but the lack of care going into some of these stories tells me that, even if I were to continue reading it, I don't foresee my rating improving from its current state.

Thank you so much to Henry Holt & Co for providing me with this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[♛ may · Rating 2 out of 5]

:/ <- my entire emotions towards this book

honestly i think the idea is really cool and uplifting: a bunch of teenagers send their heartbroken letters in and get these deep and emotional responses from some amazing authors

but in reality it felt like a motivation speech but on replay x17

idk if this was just me, but the letters from the authors started feeling really repetitive. they pretty much followed the exact same format, and 300 pages of that was just a lot

most of the letters were sweet and personal and motivational and empowering most of the time and then there were some parts that made me just go.......yikes, that was totally unnecessary/unrelated

i think the message of this book, at its core, is really kind and sweet but in reality it just felt a lot like :/

[Jay G · Rating 3 out of 5]

Want to see more bookish things from me? Check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfer...

*I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review*

3.5/5 Stars

This is an anthology of letters real teens wrote to YA authors about heartbreak. The authors chose which letters spoke to them and wrote back to the teen with advice.

I really enjoyed this for the raw vulnerability it brought to the table. Having some of my favourite authors share their experiences with the world and heartbreak was eye opening and so relateable. I think there is at least one letter inside this collection that will speak to everyone. I think its going to help so many teenagers AND adults come to terms with some of their own experiences.

[Shannon Miz · Rating 3 out of 5]

You can find the full review and all the fancy and/or randomness that accompanies it at It Starts at Midnight

Ironically, this book is so completely full of love. But not the kind you're thinking of. The love in this book is apparent in every single letter- it's the love the authors have for the young people they write for. It's the love they've found for themselves. And the love they hope to make their readers feel.

It's nice to find people who can understand what you're going through. It's cathartic to share trials and tribulations with one another. It's that sense of camaraderie that I enjoyed about this book the most. I related to so many of the responses, and yes, the questions. I imagine that many, many others will as well. Obviously the importance of that is huge.

The thing that left it falling a bit short for me is that it kind of felt a bit repetitive after awhile. And while I, as an adult, appreciate the message the authors are trying to convey (especially the "love and care for yourself" sort), I'm not sure a teen would be game for 300+ pages of it. The thing about heartbreak and heartache is that no amount of logic and self-talk is really going to make it better. It's messy, illogical, and something we may just have to feel.

Bottom Line:  The plus here is, knowing these authors have come out on the other side of their teen heartbreaks can be helpful- especially as they're often role models. The downside is, it's a lot of pages of personal stories that may not fully resonate with a young person wading through their own pool of sadness and confusion. Hell, it's a lot of pages for a 36 year-old wading through her pool, so. 🤷‍♀️

[Brooke — brooklynnnnereads · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

As someone who does not typically pick up anthologies, I was happily surprised with the stories and content that this one held. I also really liked the formatting and how it was written in the style of letters.

This anthology is directed and promoted towards young adults and teens but to me, the contents of this anthology and the advice it contains seems beneficial to many. Heck, at twenty-seven, some of the advice I appreciated reading (even if it has been told to me, time and time again).

This was a relatable read and I think it’s important because of the world that we live in. So many people struggle in silence and I think in some of these letters, people may be able to find some kind of answer or at least feel less alone.

***Thank you to Raincoast Books for sending me an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review***

[The Candid Cover (Olivia & Lori) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear Heartbreak is a unique concept for a YA book. The format is an interesting compilation of letters from teens that have important questions about terms of the heart. Many of the responses written by the YA authors are surprising and provide teens with a sense that they are not alone in their feelings.

Full Review on The Candid Cover

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Truly disappointed in something that I thought was going to be different in light of the fact that I adored the darkness and beauty of Demetrios' own book.

But this one was really all about the YA authors even though it was set up to be teens writing in and then YA authors responding-- really there was no teen voice if that was the attempt and really ALL about the YA authors themselves with an interspersed bit of positivity and encouragement. And taken all at once, even though it was super short, just became too overwhelming and not respected enough as a topic because I see what Demetrios was trying to do-- it just doesn't work in this particular interest.

Either have YA authors write about heartbreak or don't, but to try to authentically include teens' actual letters and a YA author's response was unemotional. And I felt used on behalf of the teens. It wasn't even very Dear Abby to be a little (throwback here-- Chicken Soup).

[Ewa Cat Mędrzecka · Rating 2 out of 5]

First of all - don't be fooled, it's NOT a short story collection! It's more of an essays anthology, with letters from teens struggling with different shades of love, heartbreaks, loneliness and feeling of being 'not worthy' and responses from YA authors, sharing their personal stories.

Concept is really interesting, but execution is weak... Or maybe it's just not a book material? I don't know, but as much as I liked some replies (mostly for style of writing! And comparision to truffles!), I think that young adults and teenagers struggling with love need more than hearing 'I was exactly like you!' or - worst case scenario - 'We have nothing in common, but I'm gonna share my story anyway'.

Not really what I expected this book to be.

[jillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

[Barby chapterbychapter_books · Rating 2 out of 5]

Querido corazón roto es un compilado de cartas que adolescentes escribieron contando algunos de sus miedos o problemas del corazón. Cada carta en el libro tiene una respuesta escrita por un autor en donde les cuentan sus experiencias personales como una forma de apoyo y para transmitir el mensaje que, aunque en ese momento una determinada situación pueda parecer el fin del mundo, se puede salir adelante.

Mi opinión:

En primer lugar, me gustaría resaltar que las historias no son todas de amor romántico, sino de amor en general. Amor hacia la familia, los amigos, las parejas, pero más importante que todo, amor hacia uno mismo. Esto es algo que valoro muchísimo ya que soy de las personas que piensan que el amor empieza con uno y el bienestar con uno mismo es lo que se transmite y proyecta en otras personas. Que no es necesario tener una pareja para ser feliz, y si tienen una, no es necesario que sea una copia de las parejas de los demás. Cada persona es única y cada vínculo que generamos nos pertenece y no hay parámetros que indiquen que es correcto y que no. Creo que las historias elegidas hacen un buen compilado para tocar temas distintos y variados.

Algunas historias son fuertes y dejan mensajes muy claros, otras quizás me resultaron un tanto confusas en el mensaje que intentaban transmitir. Algunas respuestas me hicieron enojar mucho y otras me hicieron sonreír porque hace bien saber que hay gente así en el mundo. Pero es lo que pasa con estas historias ¿Cómo juzgar las experiencias personales de alguien? No creo que sea mi lugar hacerlo y por eso no voy a ahondar en que mensajes me gustaron y cuáles no, eso queda 100% a gusto del lector. Pero eso sí, aclaro que hay unas cuantas advertencias faltantes de temas como por ejemplo violaciones, que pueden ser disparadores para quienes hayan vivido situaciones similares.

Este libro no es ficción, son cartas de personas reales, respondidas con experiencias de la vida de los autores y se lee quizás un poco como libro de “autoayuda”, definitivamente no es algo que sea de mi gusto. En cuanto a si lo recomiendo o no, creo que depende del tipo de persona que esté del otro lado. Si es alguien que busca consuelo en saber que no está solo entonces puede ser un libro que sin duda le transmita un mensaje positivo, sobre todo uno de amor propio, pero quizás si sea alguien que ha vivido alguna situación que haya sido traumática en su vida no consiga encontrar un ejemplo a seguir ni ayuda en cuanto a una situación determinada. Casi todas las historias tienen la misma moraleja: ya va a llegar el día donde todo va a mejorar, y bueno, en mi opinión no siempre llega si no pedimos ayuda.

[Jane (It'sJaneLindsey) · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. I’m 100% too old and cynical for this book, but I’m not the target demographic! But still, I felt like this collection was very jumbled, and the “advice” was often so heavy handed in the “love yourself before you can expect anyone to love you ALSO you don’t need a partner to find happiness ALSO you’ll find love when it’s meant to be ALSO ALSO ALSO” variety as to be patronizing. As a former perpetually heartbroken teen, reading some of the author responses would have caused Teen Jane to roll her eyes, sigh heavily, and be pissed that some adult was being so condescending. I feel like this was too surface level and too many authors ended up making their responses more about them than the teen.

Also, I originally thought this would be fiction. Nope. It’s basically a mix between Dear Abby and Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul. While the idea is good, I almost think this would have been better as a podcast, because something gets lost in making this a book.

Final note: this is titled and marketed as being about “the dark side of love” and that is very misleading. A few entires deal with heavier topics, but the vast majority are about standard teen romance issues - not sure why this was done.

[ellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The biggest problem with this book is how long it is. A lot of the letters started to feel repetitive, and I hate that. Because I understand that these letters are individuals who feel alone but putting them together, back to back, just kind of makes the reader...bored. I loved all the advice the authors gave, but there’s only so many times you can read “you need to love yourself the most” / “self-love is most important” / “you have walls up” etc etc. So while I appreciate the effort and the care that went into this, I feel like it should’ve been shorter.

Libba Bray / Nina LaCour / Becky Albertalli had my favorite responses, because of course they did. Also really appreciated Kim Liggett and Kekla Magoon’s responses. I liked Zach Fehst’s writing a lot. Definitely will check out more from some of these authors :)

P.S. the cover is one of my all time favorite covers. I love embroidery and it just ... looks so nice.

[peyton · Rating 5 out of 5]

ANOTHER BOOK BY BECKY WHAT?!?!

[Enne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the concept of this book was very intriguing and one that really stood out from all of the other anthologies that I’ve read in the past. However, I was less than satisfied by the execution of this book. I think some of it comes from the fact that I just didn’t really find myself able to connect with a lot of these as much as I thought I would. However, I also thought that this anthology provided an interesting opportunity into the exploration of platonic love and familial love and, really, just any kind of love beyond romantic because I feel like there are so many different types of love that teenagers experience. And while we did get one or two stories like that, I thought there was a lot of room for growth and just a general exploration of what the definition of “love” is. That said, there were some stories that I really related to and enjoyed, I just thought that this book could have done a better job at being well-rounded and exploring all of the different types of love.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I'd had this book when I was a teen. I would have loved to have known that someone else empathized; that there was life on the other side of heartbreak. That's what's great about this book. Each author takes time to address the issues in the letters not just in one paragraph but several pages in many cases. They don't just give pithy advice--they share their own stories of heartbreak in a way that the letter writers can't help but feel heard.

[USOM · Rating 4 out of 5]

I adore the concept and introduction in Dear Heartbreak. Talk about an ingenious idea. How I'd like to write multiple letters to Heartbreak. And the teens in here do just that. And the authors answer. They answer with brutal honesty, with love, and with care. Both the letters and the responses are genuine, raw, and emotional. They bleed, they cry, they rage.

full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...

[Mely Barragan · Rating 3 out of 5]

La primera mitad me gustó mucho, pero en la segunda parte me dormía de lo repetitivo que fue. Bye.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not too sure why someone thought this was a good idea

[Kristie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This novel really caught my eye, the cover is gorgeous and I was intrigued by the concept however, after reading the book I was disappointed. This novel just didn't go where I was wanting it to, the advice wasn't great and I agree with some of the other reviews. Some of the authors seemed, at times, condescending and didnt give any real advice or any connection to the letter at all, just a lot of generic love yourself before others can love you answers. This book had potential and was a great idea but it just wasn't done well.

[Forever Young Adult]

Graded By: Mandy W.
Cover Story: Heartfelt
The Wallflower: "We Have to Be Who We Are" by Libba Bray
The Guarded: "Knock Down These Walls" by Ibi Zoboi
The Mythbusters: "Own Your Heart" by Jasmine Warga; "Life in the Friend Zone" by Varian Johnson
The Survivors: "We're Not Alone" by Kim Liggett; "Down the Rabbit Hole and Out the Other Side" by Cristina Moracho; "Love Is All, Love Is You" by Heather Demetrios and Zach Fehst
Bonus Factors: Love Yourself, Introspection
Break Glass In Case Of: A Heart That Needs Mending

Read the full book report here.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Huge thank you to Raincoast for this ARC!

I always find anthologies difficult to rate, mainly because the stories in them often tend to be a mixed bag. What I loved about Dear Heartbreak, is that it isn't typical of what an anthology would be. Real teens submitted letters to "Heartbreak" and popular YA authors took the time to respond to plights. It's an interesting take on Dear Abby, that's for sure.

What I loved about this book was more the letters themselves rather than the responses. I found myself tearing up at some of the issues that were shared. There's discussion of suicide, abusive relationships, friendship gone topsy-turvy, and just feelings of isolation and how corrupting it is. What I appreciated in the responses to the letters is the level of respect and tenderness that many of the authors provided. There was a sense of understanding and empathy, something that I find many adults struggle to provide in a way that is helpful and self-reflective. These letters were exactly that, offering examples and stories, as well as resources they used as well. I did find some letter meandered a bit, but overall I think the responses were very empathic.

I am really happy a book like this exists in the world for teens to read. It's amazing to see a group of authors respond in a way that is so kind. It's a rally of kindness, of hope, of light and of need. Teens need to be able to see themselves and feel heard, and I think Dear Heartbreak does a great job in opening a lot of discussions regarding teen mental health.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars

Anthology collections that are short stories or essays can be difficult to review at times, however reviewing an anthology of letters from real teens that are answered by authors in story form with a sprinkling of advice is something I haven’t done until now. As the title suggests, Dear Heartbreak has teens write in to authours about their heartbreaks and about the not so pleasant side of love which is unfortunately something we do not often see in non-fiction that is geared towards teenagers. I love this idea as it was a unique twist on the typical advice columns.

Read the rest of the review here: https://wp.me/p36jwx-1Bo

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

While the concept was interesting, and reminded me a little bit of Chicken Soup books (which I love because I am notoriously nosey), the letters back were not fantastic and I did not really care that much about them.

I think I might just be too old for a lot of these letters. I do not care about teenage romance. I do not give a flying fuck, truly. Is it because I was chronically single and alone as a teenager? No comment. Still, they seem so insignificant and petty to me, which definitely affected my opinion of the finished product of the book.

Concept: good, satisfies my need to know other people's business.
Execution: not for me!

[emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Letters from teens about love and heartbreak, answered by YA authors. I love this book. It’s gentle and fierce and generous and raw. I love how casually these authors write; this is truly their thoughts, not as a voices of authority, but of caring, feeling people whose hearts have been through it. Lovely. (and representation! hurray!)

[MenteDe Estrellas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este libro me hizo darme cuenta que no estaba del todo bien todavía. Llore junto con los corazones rotos, recordando el mio pero junto las palabras de los escritores me hicieron querer sanarme poco a poco, no querer temer y seguir adelante.

Creó que es un libro que llego en el momento exacto y el cual lo sentí como ese abrazo que tanto necesitaba.

[Taasia ✨ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this was a pleasant surprise.

[Daniella (Reading With Daniella) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Click here to see this review and others on my blog Reading With Daniella

2.75 stars

First off, this cover is so pretty - seriously drop-dead gorgeous kind of pretty. I'm jealous of how beautiful this over is.
This was decent, but not really what I was expecting. I thought that this would be different YA authors telling stories of their own heartbreak, but although we had small stories sprinkled in, this was more like advice, inspiration, and motivation for those dealing with heartbreak in a very wide variety of ways. Not bad, just not what I was looking for right now.

I don't pick up anthologies all that often, but I typically enjoy them! It's also very rare for me to read any sort of non-fiction. but I usually do enjoy personal essays and things like that.
This book actually reminded me a lot of another non-fiction anthology by a group of YA authors that I read and enjoyed earlier this year, Life Inside My Mind: 31 Authors Share Their Personal Struggles.

As with most anthologies, there were a few sections that I really enjoyed, a few that I was slightly bored by, and many that were decent, my nothing special in my eyes.
My two favorites were definitely the passages written by Gayle Forman and Libba Bray. I haven't read any of their books before, though they both have plenty sitting on my TBR, and now I am even more excited to get to them soon!

Here are a handful of my favourite quotes from this anthology:

I am not fully forged yet - my metal is still glowing red-hot, being shaped and molded, but I know what sort of sword I want to be now.
- Amy Ewing, I Am Tired of Trying to Prove My Worth

Whenever you do step back into your own space, for whatever reason you will not be the same person. You'll have grown an inch or two, not in size, but in love. Love expands you. Honest, fearless, love stretches you to the limits you didn't even know were there. There won't be any walls. You can run freely and love freely. Your heart will not only beat, it will music.
- Iba Zoboi, Knock Down Those Walls

We let our biggest secrets and our silence run like a river through the foundation of our friendship, eventually cracking it into pieces.
- Jasmine Warga, Own Your Heart

We, as women, are often taught by societal messaging that to be a good friend is to sacrifice our own happiness. We are taught to shrink our own desires, to make ourselves smaller so that other people can be more comfortable. Fuck that. As you state, even if you break up with this boy, it will not erase your friend's heartbreak. It does not solve the problem that the object of her affection does not return her feelings. It only serves to make two people more upset. This is not a reasonable solution. It, in fact, is not a solution at all. Because - think about it - even if you acquiesce and end your relationship for the sake of your friends, will that really solve the problem? There is a chance that your hurt over ending the relationship will fester into a deep wound of resentment that will cause major problems in your friendship.
- Jasmine Warga, Own Your Heart

If you never felt hunger, Confident, you would never know the precise pleasure of satisfying your appetite with delicious food. If you never experienced rainy days, you would not relish the feel of the spring sun on your face.
Joy and pain are not unrelated. They are not opposites or mortal enemies. They are conjoined twins. If you know joy, you will invariably know pain. You will break up with someone you loved. You will be dumped by a dear friend. You will sit at the bedside of loved ones. You will attend funerals, some of them for people who died before their time.
This is the price of admission, my friend. If you want experience, you must accept it.
- Gayle Forman, The Teacher of All Things

[Steph]

DNF at 54%. Halfway through, I felt like I had been reading this forever (page/story-wise, not time-wise).

I really appreciate the intent behind this essay/letter collection, but also agree with other reviews that I read on a few points:

1) A number of authors very problematically presume/assign a teen writer gender pronouns based on their letter's description of who broke their heart. I honestly expected better from these authors - that who you love and THEIR preferred gender pronouns doesn't determine YOUR preferred gender pronouns!

2) I think it's important to address "adult" or real world topics such as feeling like you'll never find love as a person with a disability or coping with learning to trust again after an assault, but I do feel like there should have been a/some trigger warning(s) about the content.

3) These authors (or the ones I read at least) had really good advice for teens, an authentic combination of empathy, real talk, and advice; HOWEVER, "love yourself before you can love anyone else" and "it gets better" get trite reading each author's response to a teen's heartbreak. I can imagine this getting really old especially to teens who may have a lower baseline of belief in the power of this advice at their young age (nothing against teens, I just know it took me well past my teens to embrace what makes me awesome, and I'm still working on it). I wonder if this would have worked better as a collection of curated and edited blog posts rather than a published book of essay compilations.