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A Smart Girl's Guide...

A Smart Girl's Guide to Friendship Troubles: Dealing With Fights, Being Left Out and the Whole Popularity thing

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From backstabbing to bullying to just being left out, here's advice for girls about a whole host of friendship problems. How do you speak up for yourself when you're worried about hurting your friend's feelings? What if your best friend leaves you for the more popular crowd? What do you do when your friend the "rule setter" decides you're not cool anymore? When- and how- do you get your parents involved without making things worse? Tips, quizzes, and real life stories about girls who've solved their friendship problems round out this timely advice book.

87 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2003

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Patti Kelley Criswell

18 books13 followers

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5 stars
395 (42%)
4 stars
267 (28%)
3 stars
192 (20%)
2 stars
48 (5%)
1 star
27 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
Profile Image for Heather R.
399 reviews22 followers
May 15, 2025
Where was this book when I was a lonely kid? No idea, but I enjoyed reading it as an adult, and I wish there had been more books like it when I was young, so I didn’t have that feeling of being alone in my problems quite so much as I used to back then. There’s a lot of helpful advice for girls to navigate problems that come up regularly in friendships. I would definitely recommend this as a gift to consider getting the young lady in your life, even if she seems like she has it all together. Every girl will surely relate to something in this thoughtful, slim volume.
Profile Image for Panda Incognito.
4,611 reviews94 followers
July 30, 2022
This book has good advice for girls dealing with friendship problems, and it is mainly aimed towards preteens. This is all the kind of stuff my mother told me when I was young, that I put into practice with varying degrees of success. It's well-organized throughout this book, and interactive quizzes engage girls with questions about their communication styles and friendships.

My biggest critique is that the part about bullying is somewhat oversimplified, and I don't like the message elsewhere that "Nobody can stomp on you unless you let them. Nobody." That is true in some cases, such as in peer friendships with equal power dynamics, but it's often not true with bullying, and it's definitely not an acceptable take when older kids or adults are involved, leveraging their much-greater social power.

The author meant this to sound empowering, but it just sounds hopeless to anybody who is dealing with bullying or abuse that they are genuinely powerless to change. Because of this, I would mainly recommend this book to girls from solid, functional families with parents who model healthy relational behaviors and are good sounding boards for them. Kids from dysfunctional family contexts need books like this even more, but I would be concerned that this one would make them feel responsible for mistreatment they're receiving at home.
8 reviews
August 10, 2017
It really helped me on problems. So now I know what to do if someone is bullying me or just being plain mean. But your child this book it will really help them
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
1 review
November 22, 2018
Nice but not realistic.

The idea of this book is nice, especially for tweens, but the advice is like the kids themselves don’t have any opinion. And idea for something to say to someone mean is like, “Please stop, you’re hurting my feelings.”. Bullies obviously know that, because that’s the whole point of what they’re doing. Kids nowadays won’t say this stuff anyways because they’re smart enough to know that what I said is true, except they figure that out by themselves. I would recommend parental and/or advice from your kid’s friends only, maybe other trusted people.
Profile Image for Anna.
2 reviews
Read
December 10, 2010
I would recommend this book a smart girls to friendship troubles to any kids that have some trouble with their friends. If you have some troubles with getting your friends to play with you after a huge fight, you might want to study this book. If you had that kind of problem you are just like me. Once in third grade I had a fight with my best friends in my class. After I had that fight I thought that my friends would forget about the whole fight and still be my friends. When I got to school the next day, I noticed that when I looked at the they turned their backs on me. Suddenly I knew that they did not want to be my friends any more. That is how I got this book. When I got the book I thought that this book would not help at all, but when I read the book I had suddenly knew what to do.


My opinion of this book is that it is a very helpful story. It is supposed to help you with your friends and the troubles you have with them. In this book there are quizes that you can answer. They are just a bunch of questions that you can answer, yes or no. The questions ask you what kinds of problems you have with your friends. For example they will ask you if they bullie you and then you can circle yes or no. It is not only a book that gives you information about friendships it is also a work book. That is what I like about this book the most. I think that this work book is unique because you can write down what your friendship troubles are. It is also unique because you can answer questions on your topic of troubles.


If I were to compare this book, I would choose a book that is from the same series. I chose a book that was written by the same author. The book is named A Smart Girls Guide To Sticky Situations. If it were my choice to choose witch one was the best, I would compliment that the book a smart guide to friendship troubles is a better book. I would say that because I think that this book has better information. When I say better information,I mean this book owns more common problem information and it is more descriptive.If I were to recommend the ages for this book I would say that ages 8 and up would be the best age. I would espesially recommend this book to kids that are in third grade because that grade is the grade that I started getting into fights with my friends. So that might be the year that might be the year that you start getting into fights with your friends, unless you have already had fights with your friends.



the name of the author for this book is PATTI KELLY CRISSWELL. She lives near Kalamazoo mi.She has been working and speeking with girls for almost 20 years.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jillian.
2,105 reviews105 followers
December 18, 2016
As a socially awkward, slightly weird preteen girl, I turned to this book for advice far more than I'm proud of. There are some things you just can't ask your friends or your mom, and what better place to turn to in that time of need than to a Smart Girl's Guide? I wish I still had my copy. I'm not one for self-help, but this actually proved useful in my life. Don't tell Rachel. Recommended!
Profile Image for Kiersten.
23 reviews
November 2, 2008
Me and my best friend were fighting when I got this book. And I think that because of this book, Samantha* and I are the best of friends. We are better than we were before.

*Samantha is my very, very, very, best friend.
So is Spencer but She wasn't the one i was fighting with.
Profile Image for H.
4 reviews3 followers
January 22, 2012
This is a wonderful book on friendship. I fought with my friend A LOT and now I know exactly what to do and say
Profile Image for Bodea.
748 reviews11 followers
March 18, 2019
Wanted to read this before passing it along to my niece. Really quick read on common issues tweens/teens/young adults face when it comes to friendship. I think this book does a great job offering up solutions for tackling common problems and answering questions in real time. Also does a great job highlighting the importance of standing up for yourself and being cofident and comfortable in your own skin.
Profile Image for Tiyahna Ridley-Padmore.
Author 1 book54 followers
December 26, 2020
A smart girl's guide to friendship troubles is an American Girl Library guide book about navigating friendships. The book is composed of child-friendly illustrations, quizzes, case studies and advice designed to help young readers better navigate social relationships. Topics such as bullying, jealously and being a good friend are unpacked so that readers can better understand the dynamics of good relationship.

A smart girl's guide to friendship troubles challenges readers to reflect on their own behaviour, the behaviour of others and potential scenarios to help hone their emotional maturity and be better prepared to respond appropriately to conflict. In my youth, though it sometimes felt like homework, I enjoyed the quizzes and interactive components. I like that characters are not painted uni-dimensionally, there is a lot of racial diversity in the character depictions and the author recognizes that everybody, including readers, have flaws. Recognizing that this book was written in 2003, there are some LGBTQI+ blind spots.
Profile Image for Elizabeth S.
1,865 reviews78 followers
November 11, 2018
Basic, practical advice. I haven't tried it on a real middle-school girl, but I will soon. If the whole series is as good as this one, I have just discovered gold.
Profile Image for Marya.
1,452 reviews
May 12, 2019
I didn't remember Middle School was this catty, but this book did bring some of it back. Damn. Girls can be so mean. And so very scared.
Profile Image for H.
16 reviews5 followers
May 25, 2019
Great for mean girl drama all grades

Used it in my counseling groups to discuss the importance of acting and being a true friend
To everyone involved
Profile Image for Yz.
766 reviews3 followers
June 5, 2019
Good information
Profile Image for Melissa Namba.
2,224 reviews15 followers
September 21, 2019
There is good common sense advice in this book, but you will want to read through it as a parent because there are some areas that I, personally, would not advise my nieces to follow.
Profile Image for Kelly.
480 reviews4 followers
August 14, 2020
Pretty good book. Of course for kids, but honestly great things to remember as an adult. Plenty of tips and facts. Nice to reread and remind yourself. Just good to see it now and then.
Profile Image for jessi.
48 reviews
July 10, 2021
Great book for preteen/middle school age girls. Easy to read, visually interesting, and good advice. I definitely could have used a book like this when I was a preteen.
Profile Image for Kara Kuehl.
Author 4 books8 followers
July 15, 2022
I enjoyed this book. It not only has tips for struggling friendships, but it also has helpful conversation starters for different scenarios, which I love.
Profile Image for Ash R..
67 reviews
March 27, 2009
This book is a guide to girls who are now getting into making friends and how to get through those little small fights that grow in to big problems that can be fixed by a simple solution. Have you ever need someone to guide you to make the right decisions then end up doing it with pride? This book helps teaches the concept of never to give up on a friend!

I can make a text to world connection with their friends constantly fighting and arguing that most of the time they spend together they are fighting or mad at another. Like the examples in the book shows, they don't realize that friends are friends but it depends if you make it end.

I would rate this book a 3.5 because there was no story just teaching you how to deal with things that might come across a friendship. I do like it because it gives good advice and answers a lot of the questions you would have.
Author 1 book11 followers
December 14, 2017
Excellent resource! My daughter founds this book at Barnes & Noble and asked me to buy it, and at $12 I figured why not -- it might help. And it did. Excellent points, great little quizzes, and wonderful scenario roll play. Our daughter immediately used some of the strategies with an on-again, off-again friend at school that had been causing her to dislike school. Then my third grade son started reading the book.

This is a great resource that pulled both kids in, giving them tools that empowered them to address friendship issues on their own. No hovering mother/father needed.

As they age we'll be exploring other titles in this series by American Girl Doll. Well done!
Profile Image for Irene Meng.
7 reviews
January 1, 2011
I love how this book teaches girls how to deal with friendship problems and such. It really goes into detail when it comes to talking about how a friendship works. The book gives great examples of how your friend should act toward you.The book also teaches you how to act when troubles begin. Inside, there are quizzes, tips, and real life stories that helps me see if my friends are really worth my time.This book gives you advice on how to deal with fights, being left out, and the whole popularity thing.
195 reviews7 followers
March 13, 2010
This book shows what to do if you are having problems with your friends and if your friend is part of the "IN crowd" and leaving YOU left behind. When my best friend and I were fighting my Mum bought me this book and told me to use it to go through the tough time. It really does work and after that I got my BFF back (we arent friends anymore because things just werent working out.) This book really works!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews

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