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El amante turco
Junto con Sandra Cisneros y Julia Álvarez, Esmeralda Santiago se ha convertido en una de las más prominentes autoras latinas de hoy. Una gran cantidad de lectores y fanáticos han estado a la espera por cinco largos años del siguiente capítulo de la historia comenzada en sus memorias Cuando era puertorriqueña y Casi una mujer. Ahora la espera ha terminado.
En El amante turco, Esmeralda finalmente se libera y supera una lucha monumental con su madre sólo para caer bajo la esclavitud de "el turco" y descubrir que la pasión romántica también puede ser una prisión.
Su viaje de liberación y descubrimiento personal es atrevido, narrado de una forma sincera, y nos conduce hacia su triunfante graduación de Harvard. El humanismo desenfrenado, el humor, y el valor psicológico que le dieron tanto éxito a sus dos primeras memorias se encuentran una vez más en El amante turco. La voz de Santiago es fresca, apasionante, y necesaria.
432 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
45 people are currently reading
1330 people want to read
About the author
Esmeralda Santiago
28 books928 followersEsmeralda Santiago (born 1948 in San Juan, Puerto Rico). Is a renowned Puerto Rican author In 1961, she came to the United States when she was thirteen years old, the eldest in a family that would eventually include eleven children. Ms. Santiago attended New York City's Performing Arts High School, where she majored in drama and dance. After eight years of part-time study at community colleges, she transferred to Harvard University with a full scholarship. She studied film production and graduated in 1976 magna cum laude. Shortly after graduation, she and her husband, Frank Cantor, founded CANTOMEDIA, a film and media production company, which has won numerous awards for excellence in documentary filmmaking.
Her writing career evolved from her work as a producer/writer of documentary and educational films. Her essays and opinion pieces have appeared in national newspapers including the New York Times and the Boston Globe, and on mass market magazines like House & Garden, Metropolitan Home, and Good Housekeeping.
Her writing career evolved from her work as a producer/writer of documentary and educational films. Her essays and opinion pieces have appeared in national newspapers including the New York Times and the Boston Globe, and on mass market magazines like House & Garden, Metropolitan Home, and Good Housekeeping.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 138 reviews
May 14, 2012
ISBN 0738208205 - I often wondered, as I read this book, whether it was among the most self-serving blather I'd read in ages or one of the best books I'd read in years. Really, what's more self-serving than immortalizing your own existence in a book? And how much better when that book makes a former lover, who treated you poorly, look like a fool - repeatedly? In the end, though, the answer is - one of the best books I've read in years! If the periodic Spanish phrase intimidates the English-reading-only, don't let that stop you - almost every phrase is smoothly translated in the text.
Esmeralda Santiago, oldest of eleven children, runs away from home. At age 21, "runs away" sounds strange, but it is what she does. To be with her probably-Armenian-insists-he's-Turkish lover, Ulvi Dogan, she leaves her mother's home and begins to find herself by first leaving behind "Negi", the name she was called at home. Ulvi likes her just the way she is - naive, innocent, rather obedient and not at all a "spoiled American girl" - and calls her Chiquita. He treats her almost like property, looks on her family with disdain and works hard to keep her from growing, changing, and making friends. What Ulvi likes about her, and the way she honestly writes about it, makes the reader actually understand a little why she stays with this man, who is seventeen years older than she and would obviously not be able to have a relationship with a strong-willed, independent woman of his own age with opinions of her own - one who would certainly not let him call her "Chiquita". Without her honesty, the sentence "I was nothing Ulvi had told me many times." on page 23 would leave the reader wondering what could possibly be worth reading for the next 300 pages.
Esmeralda's relationship with Ulvi begins to end from the very start, when he returns from a stay in the hospital and locks himself in the bedroom to talk to another woman. It takes years to conclude. From Florida to New York to Texas and back to the east coast, often together, sometimes apart, Ulvi and Esmeralda seem to live two lives - his and theirs. Every break-up or time spent apart gives her more insight into herself and more courage to become Esmeralda, with her own life, until - one step at a time - she eventually finds herself, in every sense of the phrase, at Harvard. It seemed only fitting to me that her graduation should be in Boston in 1976, the 200th anniversary of the independence of America.
One small pleasure, for the nosy (like me!) reader: run "Ulvi Dogan" through a search engine. More than half of the hits are for this book, very few relate to "his" movie. A small thing, but I disliked the guy enough to smile when I saw that! I feel as if I should confess that I'm white, and living in a neighborhood that is mostly Hispanic and that a good chunk of the Spanish population here is Puerto Rican. Maybe that's what ultimately made this book such a pleasure - I could identify bits and pieces of culture and tradition from the book in the lives of people I know and care about. Or maybe it's that, despite her constant reference to her culture and the race issues that crop up throughout, Esmeralda's just a woman, and this is a story any woman of any age or race can relate to on some level. Either way, this title's well worth the time and has me looking forward (or, more accurately, backward) to finding her other works.
- AnnaLovesBooks
Esmeralda Santiago, oldest of eleven children, runs away from home. At age 21, "runs away" sounds strange, but it is what she does. To be with her probably-Armenian-insists-he's-Turkish lover, Ulvi Dogan, she leaves her mother's home and begins to find herself by first leaving behind "Negi", the name she was called at home. Ulvi likes her just the way she is - naive, innocent, rather obedient and not at all a "spoiled American girl" - and calls her Chiquita. He treats her almost like property, looks on her family with disdain and works hard to keep her from growing, changing, and making friends. What Ulvi likes about her, and the way she honestly writes about it, makes the reader actually understand a little why she stays with this man, who is seventeen years older than she and would obviously not be able to have a relationship with a strong-willed, independent woman of his own age with opinions of her own - one who would certainly not let him call her "Chiquita". Without her honesty, the sentence "I was nothing Ulvi had told me many times." on page 23 would leave the reader wondering what could possibly be worth reading for the next 300 pages.
Esmeralda's relationship with Ulvi begins to end from the very start, when he returns from a stay in the hospital and locks himself in the bedroom to talk to another woman. It takes years to conclude. From Florida to New York to Texas and back to the east coast, often together, sometimes apart, Ulvi and Esmeralda seem to live two lives - his and theirs. Every break-up or time spent apart gives her more insight into herself and more courage to become Esmeralda, with her own life, until - one step at a time - she eventually finds herself, in every sense of the phrase, at Harvard. It seemed only fitting to me that her graduation should be in Boston in 1976, the 200th anniversary of the independence of America.
One small pleasure, for the nosy (like me!) reader: run "Ulvi Dogan" through a search engine. More than half of the hits are for this book, very few relate to "his" movie. A small thing, but I disliked the guy enough to smile when I saw that! I feel as if I should confess that I'm white, and living in a neighborhood that is mostly Hispanic and that a good chunk of the Spanish population here is Puerto Rican. Maybe that's what ultimately made this book such a pleasure - I could identify bits and pieces of culture and tradition from the book in the lives of people I know and care about. Or maybe it's that, despite her constant reference to her culture and the race issues that crop up throughout, Esmeralda's just a woman, and this is a story any woman of any age or race can relate to on some level. Either way, this title's well worth the time and has me looking forward (or, more accurately, backward) to finding her other works.
- AnnaLovesBooks
August 7, 2011
How come our generation does not ask for "la bendicion"? I still hear my mother asking for it from my grandfather and her uncles.
I loved this book, although at times I wanted to scream at her for staying with Ulvi and putting up with his shit for so long. But, I can also understand her situation. She is who she is because of what she has been through. I can identify with that. Great story--I love the spanish throughout the novel and references to our culture. I miss P.R.
I loved this book, although at times I wanted to scream at her for staying with Ulvi and putting up with his shit for so long. But, I can also understand her situation. She is who she is because of what she has been through. I can identify with that. Great story--I love the spanish throughout the novel and references to our culture. I miss P.R.
July 1, 2011
I absolutely loved this book, and I love Esmeralda Santiago. I wish I could run into her on the street so I could buy her a cup of coffee and ply her with questions for a half hour. Like her other memoirs, she writes this one with complete honesty and as much objectivity as she can muster. In some ways, I can relate to her situation, which probably colors my view on the matter, but it is more than the similarities that speak to me.
In this book, Santiago continues to explore what it means to be both Puerto Rican and herself, while also dealing with a difficult relationship, moving from location to location, school, and finances. In short, it's the story of someone in their twenties. Esmeralda's relationship with Ulvi is just one of the many complicated facets of her life. He is the impetus for the changes in her circumstances, but not the reason. As she herself says, she had been leaving for a long time.
I can see how the book could be boring or frustrating to some. Ulvi is frustrating, and the lack of knowledge about him makes him appear flat and a bit cruel. Flat characters are uninteresting. But I think people who have been in bad relationships can understand: sometimes things are flat or unpleasant, and still you stay. You don't know why. Santiago doesn't give us any insight into that why, which can make it feel like she's holding back, but she does describe the feeling with perfect understanding. She's frustrated when she stands apart from the situation, and can't remember why when she's close to it. It's a bit creepy when you think too much about it, but it's frighteningly real.
Watching her shed Ulvi and "Chiquita" and seeing her emerge as Esmeralda is both beautiful and inspiring. She begins as a poor girl with just a bag containing a couple of dresses and sandals, and she ends a magna cum laude Harvard graduate. And she manages this completely independent of her family, and only minimal support on Ulvi's part. The rest she achieves on her own. It's a story that makes me believe. That alone is worth the read to me.
In her acknowledgments, Esmeralda Santiago promises to write another book about the next chapter of her life. I hope she means that, because I certainly can't wait to read it.
In this book, Santiago continues to explore what it means to be both Puerto Rican and herself, while also dealing with a difficult relationship, moving from location to location, school, and finances. In short, it's the story of someone in their twenties. Esmeralda's relationship with Ulvi is just one of the many complicated facets of her life. He is the impetus for the changes in her circumstances, but not the reason. As she herself says, she had been leaving for a long time.
I can see how the book could be boring or frustrating to some. Ulvi is frustrating, and the lack of knowledge about him makes him appear flat and a bit cruel. Flat characters are uninteresting. But I think people who have been in bad relationships can understand: sometimes things are flat or unpleasant, and still you stay. You don't know why. Santiago doesn't give us any insight into that why, which can make it feel like she's holding back, but she does describe the feeling with perfect understanding. She's frustrated when she stands apart from the situation, and can't remember why when she's close to it. It's a bit creepy when you think too much about it, but it's frighteningly real.
Watching her shed Ulvi and "Chiquita" and seeing her emerge as Esmeralda is both beautiful and inspiring. She begins as a poor girl with just a bag containing a couple of dresses and sandals, and she ends a magna cum laude Harvard graduate. And she manages this completely independent of her family, and only minimal support on Ulvi's part. The rest she achieves on her own. It's a story that makes me believe. That alone is worth the read to me.
In her acknowledgments, Esmeralda Santiago promises to write another book about the next chapter of her life. I hope she means that, because I certainly can't wait to read it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 1, 2013
Sinopsis:
"Esta memoria es la apasionante historia de una peligrosa y exótica relación amorosa.
Esmeralda Santiago se destaca entre las principales escritoras latinas de hoy. Sus fieles lectores y lectoras han esperado cinco largos años por el más reciente capítulo de una historia que comenzó con sus memorias Cuando era puertorriqueña y Casi una mujer.
En El amante turco, Santiago finalmente se desprende y supera la intensa lucha con su madre sólo para caer subyugada por Ulvi, un sofisticado hombre turco mucho mayor que ella. Así descubre que la pasión amorosa también puede convertirse en una prisión.
Su viaje de liberación y descubrimiento personal, contado con sinceridad y viveza, es atrevido, y conduce hasta su triunfante graduación de Harvard. La novela narra con detalles sus amoríos con Ulvi y, usando el lente de su relación conflictiva, explora temas como el racismo, el sexismo, el feminismo y el valor de la educación, para al final desvelar a una persona que, contra viento y marea, resulta triunfadora.
La naturaleza efusiva, el humor desenfadado y la fortaleza psicológica de la autora que tanto éxito trajo a los primeros dos libros, aparecen ampliamente desplegados en El amante turco, lo que premiará y consolidará la fidelidad de su publico lector. La suya es una voz fresca, apasionada y necesaria."
«Santiago es una narradora impactante, y El amante turco está impregnado del mismo encanto y honestidad apasionada de sus libros anteriores.»
"Esta memoria es la apasionante historia de una peligrosa y exótica relación amorosa.
Esmeralda Santiago se destaca entre las principales escritoras latinas de hoy. Sus fieles lectores y lectoras han esperado cinco largos años por el más reciente capítulo de una historia que comenzó con sus memorias Cuando era puertorriqueña y Casi una mujer.
En El amante turco, Santiago finalmente se desprende y supera la intensa lucha con su madre sólo para caer subyugada por Ulvi, un sofisticado hombre turco mucho mayor que ella. Así descubre que la pasión amorosa también puede convertirse en una prisión.
Su viaje de liberación y descubrimiento personal, contado con sinceridad y viveza, es atrevido, y conduce hasta su triunfante graduación de Harvard. La novela narra con detalles sus amoríos con Ulvi y, usando el lente de su relación conflictiva, explora temas como el racismo, el sexismo, el feminismo y el valor de la educación, para al final desvelar a una persona que, contra viento y marea, resulta triunfadora.
La naturaleza efusiva, el humor desenfadado y la fortaleza psicológica de la autora que tanto éxito trajo a los primeros dos libros, aparecen ampliamente desplegados en El amante turco, lo que premiará y consolidará la fidelidad de su publico lector. La suya es una voz fresca, apasionada y necesaria."
«Santiago es una narradora impactante, y El amante turco está impregnado del mismo encanto y honestidad apasionada de sus libros anteriores.»
July 19, 2013
This is not the type of book I would pick up and I am extremely critical of memoirs. However a lady at work gave it to me to read knowing I was a traveled and learned woman. Santiago captures the essence of Puerto Rican culture and paints a vivid story of her life with her Turkish love interest. I found myself identifying with her a lot in the relationship she had with Ulvi. The idea that the love you create as a wall to protect you can easily become a prison you want to escape. It is only by trust and open heart and listening and stating your needs that the wall is not your prison or protection but becomes a stepping stone to rise above situations and expand and reach higher. And that is what was missing in the authors relationship, she didn't know what she wanted, their relationship did not have the foundation of trust needed and neither listened to the other (she expressed her opinions, he didn't care or find them interesting. He said "no one could love you like I do" and she could not hear that he was trying to isolate her.)
This is how a memoir should be written, like fiction so that even the most mundane life seems like a wonderful tale. The characters should grow and you should have emotional ties to them. I hope when the day comes and I write my own tale, I will have such insight and poetic form in my story as santiago has in hers
This is how a memoir should be written, like fiction so that even the most mundane life seems like a wonderful tale. The characters should grow and you should have emotional ties to them. I hope when the day comes and I write my own tale, I will have such insight and poetic form in my story as santiago has in hers
January 27, 2014
This author is my personal favorite. Sharing the same culture, I can immediately relate and register what she's saying as feelings I've had myself. I always like to read her work in spanish but I read it in english and felt that she had really evolved to be ale to express herself JUST as powerfully in both languages. Her previous books I enjoyed in spanish because I know as a Puerto Rican spanish speaker, it would resinate with me even more so by having that flow that can be kinda butchered when translated to english.
This memoir of here's is so deep and beautifully written, I could feel the intensity she felt, and the love that consumed her with her Turkish lover. It's definitely a book that I had to wait to read since I started reading her work at 15, but any mature mind (and particularly a woman) would enjoy this book. If you enjoy getting a taste of culture, reality and feel like you can relate, this book is definitely one to check out.
This memoir of here's is so deep and beautifully written, I could feel the intensity she felt, and the love that consumed her with her Turkish lover. It's definitely a book that I had to wait to read since I started reading her work at 15, but any mature mind (and particularly a woman) would enjoy this book. If you enjoy getting a taste of culture, reality and feel like you can relate, this book is definitely one to check out.
September 10, 2010
I'm so glad I read this book. It's a continuation of, "Almost a Woman" about life for the next six years with Ulvi. Her life with the mysterious, chauvinistic Ulvi takes her across the country. She lands in Lubbock, TX, Syracuse, NY, and Boston, MA. Her writing remains honest and simple to read. It's amazing to witness her growth and transformation from Ulvi's 'Chiquita', to her own, true Esmeralda. While, "Almost a Woman" was a coming-of-age novel, this one can be labeled as a growing-into-womanhood novel. An inspiring story.
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July 12, 2016How is it that powerful, fiery, smart, beautiful young women give up so much of who they really are for (controlling) men?
As this book unfolds, it's great to see how Esmeralda begins to stand up for herself and grow. And the writing is good--makes you want to turn the page.
As this book unfolds, it's great to see how Esmeralda begins to stand up for herself and grow. And the writing is good--makes you want to turn the page.
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April 23, 2008No me gustó. Aburrido.
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January 20, 2018Si estuviera en la situación de Negi no me gustaría tener que ver a tus padres discutir todo el tiempo y sobre todo porque terminaron separándose. Amo a mis padres y estoy tan acostumbrada a que sean tan tiernos el uno con el otro y siempre viéndolos juntos, así que si eso sucediera las cosas simplemente cambiarían, como si todo fuera diferente y no me gustaría. Cuando los padres discuten les duele más a los niños porque son las personas que aman y aprenden de. Otra cosa es que Negi tuvo que mudarse de su ciudad, que era Puerto Rico. Imagina que tu tengas que irte lejos de todo sus amigos y familiares a un lugar en el que ni siquiera hable el idioma. No me gustaría comenzar de nuevo y alejarme de todas las personas que amo, siento que estaría sola. Tener que aprender un idioma diferente es difícil y lo sé porque el español es mi segunda idioma e incluso tengo problemas con el español a veces, imaginate como Negi se sentía que estaba aprendiendo un nuevo y diferente idioma. También Negi tenía un novio y él no la trataba bien; siempre la decepcionó y no la dejaba seguir sus sueños. Él siempre decía no por todo lo que ella quería ser, él controlaba cada movimiento de ella. Odiaría eso porque nunca deberías dejar que ningún hombre te trate así, si él te ama, debería estar contigo a lo largo de todo el camino, pero si no, entonces vete. Negi terminó por dejarlo y eso fue bueno porque ella terminó haciendo lo que quería, se metió en una muy buena escuela. Negi es una mujer muy fuerte y si yo hubiera pasado por todo esto no sabría qué hacer, Negi ha estado pasando por tantas cosas desde que era pequeña, es una mujer fuerte.
November 6, 2023
The Turkish Lover tells the story of a young woman(Esmeralda) who fell in love with a Turkish man. She came to the United States at thirteen years old. Growing up, Esmeralda was a good child. She always obeyed her mom so she could be a "nina puertoriquena decente"(decent Puerto-Rican lady). And then she meets Ulvi. Ulvi is a film director from Turkey, he had a big break from his only film. He promises Esmeralda, or as he likes to call her, "Chiquita", that if she moves with him, they will have a wonderful life full of riches and joy. She believes all this. So Esmeralda does something she has never done in her life, she goes against her mother's word and flees to Florida with a man without even telling her. All she does is leave a note behind. Problems and conflicts arrive after the move which ultimately leads to Esmeralda questioning if the love she has for Ulvi is even real. This book really dives deep into the feelings and emotions of someone who is trying to find out who they are and what their purpose in life is. Not only does Esmeralda perfectly describe what she went through, she makes it incredibly easy for one to envision what it feels like to be a woman in a Puerto-Rican household. This book is a pleasure to read from start to finish.
April 7, 2024
4.8
Wow. It took me so long to realize this was memoir (I know it’s on the cover don’t judge me) because of how raw the story was. I was fighting for Esmeralda the entire time, and though her journey was tumultuous, it shaped her. Any other path would’ve been easier, but she wouldn’t have learned all the lessons she shares with readers in The Turkish Lover.
“There will always be another train” <3
On a side note, I had no idea this was the final book of a trilogy; it stands well on its own, but I may go back to read the first two.
Wow. It took me so long to realize this was memoir (I know it’s on the cover don’t judge me) because of how raw the story was. I was fighting for Esmeralda the entire time, and though her journey was tumultuous, it shaped her. Any other path would’ve been easier, but she wouldn’t have learned all the lessons she shares with readers in The Turkish Lover.
“There will always be another train” <3
On a side note, I had no idea this was the final book of a trilogy; it stands well on its own, but I may go back to read the first two.
December 11, 2013
Esmeralda Santiago comparte casi diez años de su vida con el lector. La autobiografía se centra en su prueba para establecer su identidad frente a las fuerzas de la cultura de las puertorriqueñas y su “amante truco”, Ulvi. Su madre quiere que ella se case con “velo y cola”, sea una mujer puertorriqueña domestica que se preocupe sobre lo que “dirá la gente.” Ulvi, su novio maltratador y manipulador, quiere que ella sea una mujer ideal también, pero que ella sea sofisticada y moderna, lo opuesto de su humilde vida de su familia. A pesar de las fuerzas de otras personas, Santiago forma su verdadera naturaleza. El desarrollo de sus experiencias es muy fascinante para el lector.
Santiago da muchos detalles sobre las personas que conoce a lo largo de su viaje de vida. El lector se va a enamorar de las muchas personas interesantes que conoce Esmeralda. Por ejemplo, hay una bailarina, Jacqueline, que enseña a Esmeralda la importancia de perseguir los sueños en la vida. También, hay Ruth, una amiga de trabajo, que le enseña la importancia de tener confianza en la vida. Estos detalles sobre los caracteres profundos es un aspecto fenomenal sobre este libro. También, el lector va a encontrar que se funda una intimidad con Esmeralda. Esmeralda revela muchos de sus sentimientos y es imposible no sentir una conexión con ella.
Santiago da muchos detalles sobre las personas que conoce a lo largo de su viaje de vida. El lector se va a enamorar de las muchas personas interesantes que conoce Esmeralda. Por ejemplo, hay una bailarina, Jacqueline, que enseña a Esmeralda la importancia de perseguir los sueños en la vida. También, hay Ruth, una amiga de trabajo, que le enseña la importancia de tener confianza en la vida. Estos detalles sobre los caracteres profundos es un aspecto fenomenal sobre este libro. También, el lector va a encontrar que se funda una intimidad con Esmeralda. Esmeralda revela muchos de sus sentimientos y es imposible no sentir una conexión con ella.
December 11, 2013
Esmeralda Santiago comparte casi diez años de su vida con el lector. La autobiografía se centra en su prueba para establecer su identidad frente a las fuerzas de la cultura de las puertorriqueñas y su “amante truco”, Ulvi. Su madre quiere que ella se case con “velo y cola”, sea una mujer puertorriqueña domestica que se preocupe sobre lo que “dirá la gente.” Ulvi, su novio maltratador y manipulador, quiere que ella sea una mujer ideal también, pero que ella sea sofisticada y moderna, lo opuesto de su humilde vida de su familia. A pesar de las fuerzas de otras personas, Santiago forma su verdadera naturaleza. El desarrollo de sus experiencias es muy fascinante para el lector.
Santiago da muchos detalles sobre las personas que conoce a lo largo de su viaje de vida. El lector se va a enamorar de las muchas personas interesantes que conoce Esmeralda. Por ejemplo, hay una bailarina, Jacqueline, que enseña a Esmeralda la importancia de perseguir los sueños en la vida. También, hay Ruth, una amiga de trabajo, que le enseña la importancia de tener confianza en la vida. Estos detalles sobre los caracteres profundos es un aspecto fenomenal sobre este libro. También, el lector va a encontrar que se funda una intimidad con Esmeralda. Esmeralda revela muchos de sus sentimientos y es imposible no sentir una conexión con ella.
Santiago da muchos detalles sobre las personas que conoce a lo largo de su viaje de vida. El lector se va a enamorar de las muchas personas interesantes que conoce Esmeralda. Por ejemplo, hay una bailarina, Jacqueline, que enseña a Esmeralda la importancia de perseguir los sueños en la vida. También, hay Ruth, una amiga de trabajo, que le enseña la importancia de tener confianza en la vida. Estos detalles sobre los caracteres profundos es un aspecto fenomenal sobre este libro. También, el lector va a encontrar que se funda una intimidad con Esmeralda. Esmeralda revela muchos de sus sentimientos y es imposible no sentir una conexión con ella.
January 3, 2011
A beautiful memoir that proves that even smart, independent women can be caught in a unhealthy relationship. Santiago's tale is very candid and touched me deeply. I loved the depiction of Puerto Rican culture, our rich heritage, and how difficult it must have been and is for the many Puerto Ricans who come to mainland looking for a better / different life. Many times they can assimilate, sometimes they can't and return to the island, and other times they are suspended in a world somewhere in between. I think all humans, not just Latinos can appreciate this rich book about human interaction and our desire to be loved, accepted, and appreciated.
September 16, 2019
honest, shocking, and completely gripping... I absolutely did not expect Santiago’s memoir to take this unpredictable turn. There were moments I wanted to cry for her and moments I wanted to shake her and tell her to get a grip. This is the kind of book that infuriates and frustrates you in the best way possible. The first memoir she wrote is still my favorite, but this one is incredible in different ways. I pray that she writes a fourth book and highly recommend this one.
April 18, 2017
This is the memoir of Esmeralda Santiago, a young Puerto Rican woman who leaves her home and family to be with her Turkish lover, "el hombre que yo amo". He is domineering, yet she doesn't seem able to break his power over her.
March 20, 2015
Este libro es como escuchar una y otra vez a esa amiga tuya que no importa cuanto la maltrate el novio siembre vuelve con el, de flojera total :(
Es increible que la autora a sus cinquenta y tantos aun no lo supera, mira que hasta hacer un libro... uff!
Es increible que la autora a sus cinquenta y tantos aun no lo supera, mira que hasta hacer un libro... uff!
January 29, 2016
3.75 stars
November 27, 2020
Although I have some complaints, this book was well worth reading for the quality of the writing and the way the author seamlessly creates her setting, scenes, and words in Spanish. The story is amazing as well. Santiago's prose is beautiful and I found myself not being able to stop reading
I loved the start of this book because I lived in the same Brooklyn neighborhood where Esmeralda Santiago starts her memoir. She is leaving her family for her Turkish lover. When she reminisces or complains about her past eight years living in New York, I realized we could have been friends. Or not. Explanation coming later.
I am also Puerto Rican but born in Brooklyn, New York. My father was born in Puerto Rico and that shaped his life as well as Esmeraldas.
She goes to The High School of the Performing Arts, where I was also accepted, but not allowed to attend, because my mother wouldn't sign the permission papers.
Esmeralda is 21 when she escaped the poverty and crime of her Barrio to go to Florida with her lover. I was sixteen and got married to escape my bipolar mother. Her life in Manhattan brought so many memories back of the seventies. I am close to her age and also searched for jobs at the Snelling and Snelling Employment Agency. I also yearned for education. The difference is, and I realized this after reading the book—I wasn't as driven, ambitious, and talented as she was.
Santiago was a dark-skinned Puerto Rican who experienced both praises for her beauty, and racism for her color. I presented as white but had severe acne and a crossed eye, so I never was called "Spic," as she was, but "ugly" and not a real Puerto Rican. So, we both had issues related to looks and culture. I loved that about the book.
The Turkish lover, Ulvi is drawn as a cad, a sleaze, and a conman. We never see, until the later part of the book, what the attraction for her is. I surmised that part of the allure was getting away from a too-close family. Her mother is complicated. Although her motto was, "What will people say,"(Que dira la gente?) she continues to live an unconventional life, living and having children with a few men without marrying, though she expects her daughter to stay innocent until marriage. It was the 70's.
The other part, that the author hints at, is to live an upscale life. Yet, Ulvi is not rich. He pretends to be at first and the author has to support him for most of the book. She also types his thesis and is abused by him intermittently.
There is tension between mother and daughter. There is tension between Ulvi and his pet name for her "Chiquita," (little girl.) She writes that he never sees her as a woman, but a child. He never listens to her. He is from a country where women are dismissed, and the author is often dismissed by him.
We continue on her journey through the many characters she meets while following Ulvi around the country. My complaint with the characters is the number of them, and the superficial friendships she narrates. Yes, she ties up the loose ends of all the relationships, but I sense an aloofness in her in most of her relationships (and that includes the lovers she has when Ulvi is away.) I don't at all blame her for living her life. She was 2o plus years younger, and he was, as she calls him toward the end "a philanderer." But she hints at her affairs as much as she hints at Ulvi's unfaithfulness.
She reaches many goals and goes to Harvard but is not able to leave her lover. I applaud successes and understand how hard it is to leave a relationship.
My problem with the book is that it's overwritten which tends to happy with memoirs. It could have been shorter, maybe a third shorter. Toward the end, she allows herself a bit of self-indulgence, as she goes on and on about her senior project, which actually sounds amazing, but could have been shorter. My biggest problem with the book is that she teases and forebodes many deeds about her lover, but never pays it off at the end. If you start a book with the title, "The Turkish Lover," and hint about his past, his lovers, and his possible cons, the end should tell us what those were. I ended the book with "What?"
But a memoirist has a right to tell her truth and to leave what she doesn't want to tell out. But don't set it up to let the reader down. I still enjoyed the book and think it offers a good feeling of what it felt like to be a poor Puerto Rican girl living in the '70s. The author deserves all the accolades she received from her trilogy. I will go back and read the other two.
I loved the start of this book because I lived in the same Brooklyn neighborhood where Esmeralda Santiago starts her memoir. She is leaving her family for her Turkish lover. When she reminisces or complains about her past eight years living in New York, I realized we could have been friends. Or not. Explanation coming later.
I am also Puerto Rican but born in Brooklyn, New York. My father was born in Puerto Rico and that shaped his life as well as Esmeraldas.
She goes to The High School of the Performing Arts, where I was also accepted, but not allowed to attend, because my mother wouldn't sign the permission papers.
Esmeralda is 21 when she escaped the poverty and crime of her Barrio to go to Florida with her lover. I was sixteen and got married to escape my bipolar mother. Her life in Manhattan brought so many memories back of the seventies. I am close to her age and also searched for jobs at the Snelling and Snelling Employment Agency. I also yearned for education. The difference is, and I realized this after reading the book—I wasn't as driven, ambitious, and talented as she was.
Santiago was a dark-skinned Puerto Rican who experienced both praises for her beauty, and racism for her color. I presented as white but had severe acne and a crossed eye, so I never was called "Spic," as she was, but "ugly" and not a real Puerto Rican. So, we both had issues related to looks and culture. I loved that about the book.
The Turkish lover, Ulvi is drawn as a cad, a sleaze, and a conman. We never see, until the later part of the book, what the attraction for her is. I surmised that part of the allure was getting away from a too-close family. Her mother is complicated. Although her motto was, "What will people say,"(Que dira la gente?) she continues to live an unconventional life, living and having children with a few men without marrying, though she expects her daughter to stay innocent until marriage. It was the 70's.
The other part, that the author hints at, is to live an upscale life. Yet, Ulvi is not rich. He pretends to be at first and the author has to support him for most of the book. She also types his thesis and is abused by him intermittently.
There is tension between mother and daughter. There is tension between Ulvi and his pet name for her "Chiquita," (little girl.) She writes that he never sees her as a woman, but a child. He never listens to her. He is from a country where women are dismissed, and the author is often dismissed by him.
We continue on her journey through the many characters she meets while following Ulvi around the country. My complaint with the characters is the number of them, and the superficial friendships she narrates. Yes, she ties up the loose ends of all the relationships, but I sense an aloofness in her in most of her relationships (and that includes the lovers she has when Ulvi is away.) I don't at all blame her for living her life. She was 2o plus years younger, and he was, as she calls him toward the end "a philanderer." But she hints at her affairs as much as she hints at Ulvi's unfaithfulness.
She reaches many goals and goes to Harvard but is not able to leave her lover. I applaud successes and understand how hard it is to leave a relationship.
My problem with the book is that it's overwritten which tends to happy with memoirs. It could have been shorter, maybe a third shorter. Toward the end, she allows herself a bit of self-indulgence, as she goes on and on about her senior project, which actually sounds amazing, but could have been shorter. My biggest problem with the book is that she teases and forebodes many deeds about her lover, but never pays it off at the end. If you start a book with the title, "The Turkish Lover," and hint about his past, his lovers, and his possible cons, the end should tell us what those were. I ended the book with "What?"
But a memoirist has a right to tell her truth and to leave what she doesn't want to tell out. But don't set it up to let the reader down. I still enjoyed the book and think it offers a good feeling of what it felt like to be a poor Puerto Rican girl living in the '70s. The author deserves all the accolades she received from her trilogy. I will go back and read the other two.
March 10, 2023
During the height of the Covid 19 pandemic, this was one of many books that I bought for myself to read after having read about it as one of the three books that make up Ms. Santiago's memoir cycle. I could not resist the titillating title. Before I read it, I thought it might be a memoir akin to the style of Marguerite Duras' "The Lover". I put the book away, and it's taken three years for me to get to it.
I loved "When I was Puerto Rican" and think of it as one of the best modern memoirs out there for readers looking for a good coming of age story. I did not read "Almost a Woman", and will get to it sometime soon as I chip away at my huge lists to read.
What made "The Turkish Lover" an excellent book is that Ms. Santiago wrote it to process the trauma of a seven year toxic relationship with actor Ulvi Dogan, most famous for acting in the Turkish film "Dry Summer". Ms. Santiago in her search for her identity and looking for love, keeps going back to situations that are both physically and mentally abusive coming from an older man who uses his power to force her into submission, and he is a complete hypocrite because he too, has secrets and desires of his own, but uses his toxic masculinity to prevent Esmeralda, his "Chiquita" from having "too much freedom". Also, its Ms. Santiago's attempt at trying to get away from the prying and domineering eyes of her Mami, who she learns is also a complex, but loving woman who would never abuse her the way Ulvi does. As Santiago reminisces her time with Ulvi, the book is excellent in conveying the surreal and dreamlike existence she had with him.
Spanning from the sleaze of Ft. Lauderdale, to the lonely town of Lubbock, to Syracuse, to Cambridge and back to Brooklyn, Santiago is excellent at weaving setting and locations as a way to maintain muscle memory in order to be as objective as she can in telling her truth. When she finally makes her way to Harvard University and stops seeing Ulvi, there's a sense of relief, yet sadness in her tone.
The best part of the book is while Esmeralda is often trying to find her own identity, as a Puerto Rican, as an American, as an artist and a student; she recognizes that she has this in common with Ulvi- who may or may not be actually Armenian. But he carves out an identity that defines him as Turkish as if he wanted to add prestige to his humble beginnings. But of course, he does not need to be such an asshole about it. I think this book is a good read for anyone who can relate to being in toxic environments, relationships, and those who want to find a means of asserting themselves.
I loved "When I was Puerto Rican" and think of it as one of the best modern memoirs out there for readers looking for a good coming of age story. I did not read "Almost a Woman", and will get to it sometime soon as I chip away at my huge lists to read.
What made "The Turkish Lover" an excellent book is that Ms. Santiago wrote it to process the trauma of a seven year toxic relationship with actor Ulvi Dogan, most famous for acting in the Turkish film "Dry Summer". Ms. Santiago in her search for her identity and looking for love, keeps going back to situations that are both physically and mentally abusive coming from an older man who uses his power to force her into submission, and he is a complete hypocrite because he too, has secrets and desires of his own, but uses his toxic masculinity to prevent Esmeralda, his "Chiquita" from having "too much freedom". Also, its Ms. Santiago's attempt at trying to get away from the prying and domineering eyes of her Mami, who she learns is also a complex, but loving woman who would never abuse her the way Ulvi does. As Santiago reminisces her time with Ulvi, the book is excellent in conveying the surreal and dreamlike existence she had with him.
Spanning from the sleaze of Ft. Lauderdale, to the lonely town of Lubbock, to Syracuse, to Cambridge and back to Brooklyn, Santiago is excellent at weaving setting and locations as a way to maintain muscle memory in order to be as objective as she can in telling her truth. When she finally makes her way to Harvard University and stops seeing Ulvi, there's a sense of relief, yet sadness in her tone.
The best part of the book is while Esmeralda is often trying to find her own identity, as a Puerto Rican, as an American, as an artist and a student; she recognizes that she has this in common with Ulvi- who may or may not be actually Armenian. But he carves out an identity that defines him as Turkish as if he wanted to add prestige to his humble beginnings. But of course, he does not need to be such an asshole about it. I think this book is a good read for anyone who can relate to being in toxic environments, relationships, and those who want to find a means of asserting themselves.
July 28, 2018
I enjoyed this last book of Esmeralda Santiago's memoirs, it starts off recapping the first two memoirs and then goes into her relationship with Ulvi and how she selflessly gave so much of herself to a man who in my opinion took advantage of her. I hated how he always took more than he gave in the relationship.
My opinion of Ulvi, he's a con artist who would convince people to pay for his expenses, he never seemed to have a job he was always taking classes as an excuse to stay in the United States. He expected Esmeralda to hand over her pay check, do his school work, she couldn't have friends, if she had fun and laughed when they went out, he would get pissed, if she spoke to a man he assumed she was cheating on him, she had to be home by 11 to take his calls because he lived in NY and she in Boston, he was a control freak and I don't know how she lasted 7 years with him. I feel like he took her away from her family and friends. He never wanted to visit with her family, that should have been a red flag, it's like he thought that he was better than the Puerto Rican's when in fact he wasn't, he was a very insecure man who had many secrets that Esmeralda wasn't privy to.
Even though she traveled to many places with Ulvi and had many different experiences with him, was it worth the loss of so many years with her family?
I think he became intimidated by her when she graduated Harvard and saw how many friends she made, that's why I believe he left with out ever contacting her again.
Overall I really enjoyed this book even though I didn't agree with many of her choices and how she allowed Ulvi to treat her.
My opinion of Ulvi, he's a con artist who would convince people to pay for his expenses, he never seemed to have a job he was always taking classes as an excuse to stay in the United States. He expected Esmeralda to hand over her pay check, do his school work, she couldn't have friends, if she had fun and laughed when they went out, he would get pissed, if she spoke to a man he assumed she was cheating on him, she had to be home by 11 to take his calls because he lived in NY and she in Boston, he was a control freak and I don't know how she lasted 7 years with him. I feel like he took her away from her family and friends. He never wanted to visit with her family, that should have been a red flag, it's like he thought that he was better than the Puerto Rican's when in fact he wasn't, he was a very insecure man who had many secrets that Esmeralda wasn't privy to.
Even though she traveled to many places with Ulvi and had many different experiences with him, was it worth the loss of so many years with her family?
I think he became intimidated by her when she graduated Harvard and saw how many friends she made, that's why I believe he left with out ever contacting her again.
Overall I really enjoyed this book even though I didn't agree with many of her choices and how she allowed Ulvi to treat her.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 10, 2018
Picking up right where its predecessor left off, it follows the story of how a young woman, the author Esmeralda Santiago, navigates adulthood. This trilogy takes place in the 1960-70s as Santiago recalls her childhood in Puerto Rico, her move to Brooklyn as a teen, and her journeys as a young woman. This book in particular talks about her struggle/relationship with her Turkish boyfriend Ulvi. It provides a lot of insight into having to alter one's self to fit one's situation.
To be completely honest, I only kept reading because I wanted to see what she did with her boyfriend. I believe the author wanted to portray how one changes as they grow into themselves and adulthood, due to Santiago's continuous path of trying to find herself. I enjoyed the first book of her memoir, and the second to a certain extent. This third book, while insightful, is really repetitive. It consisted a lot of her just going back and forth with Ulvi.
I gave this book 2 stars because while the story line itself is something to look at, you can truly go with out reading the 3rd book. I believe it would be more interesting to maybe those who've had personal experiences with having to accumulate to a different culture in a different place, as well as those maybe currently going though young adulthood.
To be completely honest, I only kept reading because I wanted to see what she did with her boyfriend. I believe the author wanted to portray how one changes as they grow into themselves and adulthood, due to Santiago's continuous path of trying to find herself. I enjoyed the first book of her memoir, and the second to a certain extent. This third book, while insightful, is really repetitive. It consisted a lot of her just going back and forth with Ulvi.
I gave this book 2 stars because while the story line itself is something to look at, you can truly go with out reading the 3rd book. I believe it would be more interesting to maybe those who've had personal experiences with having to accumulate to a different culture in a different place, as well as those maybe currently going though young adulthood.
June 14, 2023
3.8 Stars.
sometimes when I I am nearing the end of a novel I like to read the reviews of others. It helps make me feel more secure about my thoughts of the book and to see if other readers picked up on what I was thinking and feeling about the novel. A NYT reviewer from 2004 accurately stated what I was feeling when they wrote,
"ultimately, I came away feeling that Santiago wasn't being truly honest with herself or her readers."
I felt like she only covered a very surface level of their relationship and never quite got deeper, even in times when it felt like she could have. I often sometimes left thinking, hmm thats it?
My favorite parts of the memoir were when she spoke of her Puerto Rican culture, being Puerto Rican myself I felt solitude with her as she watched the Puerto Ricans celebrate when she first got to Boston. Every time she went back to PR I was excited for her to see her family and be home in the island. Puerto Rico even for me, who grew up in the states brings me comfort and a sense of home as well. You so badly want her to be happy and free.
By the end I was proud of her, she has a way to really make you root for her. You want her to win. By the end of the book I felt a wave of joy and even felt myself almost shedding a tear because of all that she has accomplished given her circumstances. I was so proud of her.
sometimes when I I am nearing the end of a novel I like to read the reviews of others. It helps make me feel more secure about my thoughts of the book and to see if other readers picked up on what I was thinking and feeling about the novel. A NYT reviewer from 2004 accurately stated what I was feeling when they wrote,
"ultimately, I came away feeling that Santiago wasn't being truly honest with herself or her readers."
I felt like she only covered a very surface level of their relationship and never quite got deeper, even in times when it felt like she could have. I often sometimes left thinking, hmm thats it?
My favorite parts of the memoir were when she spoke of her Puerto Rican culture, being Puerto Rican myself I felt solitude with her as she watched the Puerto Ricans celebrate when she first got to Boston. Every time she went back to PR I was excited for her to see her family and be home in the island. Puerto Rico even for me, who grew up in the states brings me comfort and a sense of home as well. You so badly want her to be happy and free.
By the end I was proud of her, she has a way to really make you root for her. You want her to win. By the end of the book I felt a wave of joy and even felt myself almost shedding a tear because of all that she has accomplished given her circumstances. I was so proud of her.
January 22, 2024
*spoilers*
This is an engaging memoir of an author, whose life unfolded between the island of Puerto Rico and the Puerto Rican diaspora in the United States. As with other minoritized people in the United States, her experiences were profoundly multicultural as those who are “different” in the US find each other and build strong bonds and community. One of those bonds was Esmeralda’s Turkish lover. Esmeralda shares the details of a seven year relationship with a man that could be seen equally as a product of his time and as a brute who is always on the verge of domestic violence, and occasionally crosses the line. Esmeralda shares the surprise of many people in her life, especially her women friends, for remaining in this relationship. In some ways these characters give voice to the reader’s own experience and incredulity. Yet Esmeralda focuses on the complexity of the bond and her role in maintaining it. Inevitably, the complexity is somewhat rooted in her family of origin either as an extension of existing patterns, or as evidence of her struggles to move away from them. In the end, I got to breather a sigh of relief and somewhat relented to Esmeralda’s insistence on feeling empathy for “The Turk” mostly for the fact that the potential for disaster was averted by the end of their relationship.
This is an engaging memoir of an author, whose life unfolded between the island of Puerto Rico and the Puerto Rican diaspora in the United States. As with other minoritized people in the United States, her experiences were profoundly multicultural as those who are “different” in the US find each other and build strong bonds and community. One of those bonds was Esmeralda’s Turkish lover. Esmeralda shares the details of a seven year relationship with a man that could be seen equally as a product of his time and as a brute who is always on the verge of domestic violence, and occasionally crosses the line. Esmeralda shares the surprise of many people in her life, especially her women friends, for remaining in this relationship. In some ways these characters give voice to the reader’s own experience and incredulity. Yet Esmeralda focuses on the complexity of the bond and her role in maintaining it. Inevitably, the complexity is somewhat rooted in her family of origin either as an extension of existing patterns, or as evidence of her struggles to move away from them. In the end, I got to breather a sigh of relief and somewhat relented to Esmeralda’s insistence on feeling empathy for “The Turk” mostly for the fact that the potential for disaster was averted by the end of their relationship.
June 3, 2019
I loved and hated this book so much that is very difficult to express. I love Esmeralda Santiago. She is from Puerto Rico like my self. She moved to New York when she was around 13 years old. She had 10 brothers and sisters but Her mother never married the father of her kids. But she was very strict with her kids. And with Esmeralda even more because she was the oldest. And you see all that reflected in her first books. And before I forget, Esmeralda Santiago writes her books in english.
Her books always hit home. El amante turco is about her life starting when she was 21 years and she leaves home to be with her lover. He was from Turkey (maybe), always expected her to behave perfectly, and almost never recognized her work. It was like it was her duty. But even though she tried to leave him, she always came back. It was one of the most toxic relationship I had ever read. But, unfortunately many of us had have a relationship similar to that. And after all the times that Esmeralda tried to end the relationship, Urvi was the one that left, because she had changed to much.
Please, read this book and all her books, they are fabulous. You read in this book about everything she did and how she accomplished them.
Her books always hit home. El amante turco is about her life starting when she was 21 years and she leaves home to be with her lover. He was from Turkey (maybe), always expected her to behave perfectly, and almost never recognized her work. It was like it was her duty. But even though she tried to leave him, she always came back. It was one of the most toxic relationship I had ever read. But, unfortunately many of us had have a relationship similar to that. And after all the times that Esmeralda tried to end the relationship, Urvi was the one that left, because she had changed to much.
Please, read this book and all her books, they are fabulous. You read in this book about everything she did and how she accomplished them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 21, 2024
If Goodreads had half stars, this book would actually get a 3.5 instead of a 3.
Anyways, I think this was good.
I loved the parts of this story where Esmeralda explore who she was, made friends, quit old jobs and got new jobs in the span of a few months, moved from place to place, and just generally experienced the beauty and struggles of life as a woman in her 20s. I loved the continued exploration of themes such as family, love, friendships, and home, and oftentimes felt myself identified with Santiago's struggles as if they were mine. I also especially loved the setting of New York City in the late 60s to 70s (? I think).
However, I despised the actual stuff with Ulvi. I understand that he was a strong presence in her life for about 7 years of her life, and the complexities that come with relationships such as the one between Esmeralda and Ulvi, but I rolled my eyes every time he was brought back into the story. While that was probably the point, I hated him so much it made me become bored of this book at times.
Anyways, it was good enough. Also, this was my first read on my Kindle! Yippie! I don't know what else to add, and it's not like it matters because nobody reads these LOL.
Anyways, I think this was good.
I loved the parts of this story where Esmeralda explore who she was, made friends, quit old jobs and got new jobs in the span of a few months, moved from place to place, and just generally experienced the beauty and struggles of life as a woman in her 20s. I loved the continued exploration of themes such as family, love, friendships, and home, and oftentimes felt myself identified with Santiago's struggles as if they were mine. I also especially loved the setting of New York City in the late 60s to 70s (? I think).
However, I despised the actual stuff with Ulvi. I understand that he was a strong presence in her life for about 7 years of her life, and the complexities that come with relationships such as the one between Esmeralda and Ulvi, but I rolled my eyes every time he was brought back into the story. While that was probably the point, I hated him so much it made me become bored of this book at times.
Anyways, it was good enough. Also, this was my first read on my Kindle! Yippie! I don't know what else to add, and it's not like it matters because nobody reads these LOL.
November 2, 2023
This is the third novel in the memoir series by Esmeralda Santiago. While her second felt like her coming of age story, this is her coming into adulthood. We see the theme of “what will others say” throughout the novel which stifles Esmeraldas growth until she’s able to shed this mentality.
Esmeralda falls in love with Ulvi, (a man older than her mother) and makes the difficult decision to leave her home in New York at 20 years old to follow him to various places for the next 7 years. He loved how naive his “Chiquita” is and is excited to teach her everything. Unsurprisingly, he’s abusive, controlling, manipulative, and extremely secretive. Most of the novel details her relationship with Ulvi, but we also get to witness her academic journey into higher education at a small college in Texas then Harvard. So many times I’d feel frustrated and angry at Esmeralda but I couldn’t stop reading and kept rooting for her.
If you’ve ever had a loved one stick with a shitty partner then you’ve experienced this frustration in real time. Just like with Esmeralda, it can take many people encouraging you, a lot of time, and ultimately wanting more for yourself for a change to happen.
Esmeralda falls in love with Ulvi, (a man older than her mother) and makes the difficult decision to leave her home in New York at 20 years old to follow him to various places for the next 7 years. He loved how naive his “Chiquita” is and is excited to teach her everything. Unsurprisingly, he’s abusive, controlling, manipulative, and extremely secretive. Most of the novel details her relationship with Ulvi, but we also get to witness her academic journey into higher education at a small college in Texas then Harvard. So many times I’d feel frustrated and angry at Esmeralda but I couldn’t stop reading and kept rooting for her.
If you’ve ever had a loved one stick with a shitty partner then you’ve experienced this frustration in real time. Just like with Esmeralda, it can take many people encouraging you, a lot of time, and ultimately wanting more for yourself for a change to happen.
June 24, 2019
I loved the whole trilogy of 3 books by Esmeralda Santiago, also including When I Was Puerto Rican and Almost a Woman. This one was somewhat less satisfying than the other two, mainly because it focuses heavily on Santiago's 7-year relationship with a very controlling man, Ulvi Dogan. As in so many abusive (in this case apparently not physically) relationships, one cannot help but wonder "Why did she stay with him for so long?" And, as usual, there were compelling reasons. Reading the details of Santiago's controlled life can get tiresome and make the reader restless. But the book is also about how a young Puerto Rican woman managed to go from life as part of a very humble family, where she was the oldest of 11 children, to Harvard University! That aspect of this book is exhilarating and worthwhile. Actually I experienced this book as an audio book (not a choice in the Goodreads list), and the fact that Santiago reads her own story is a big enhancement.
February 3, 2024
The story was interested as it portrays similarities of any other young women who leaves their families for the same reasons esmeralda did!! With the exception to find deception, control, and a sense of a muppet and a master” type. I was not moved or crazy about the “ possessive turkish guy” at all becasue if I had to give my opinion, there are enough or more than enough of men in our own culture who are raised by Puerto rican mothers on the island who are and can be devious, controlling, irresponsible, abusive and the more… soo, why using a guy from the other side of the world? I liked the story but not the plot of a possessive guy controlling a young naive girl who wanted to attain growth and independence. In my view. I had a similar experience and I am from Boston Ma as well and a native of Puerto Rico. However us women young or wise know better..
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