Forget You Had a Daughter: Doing Time in the 'Bangkok Hilton'

by Sandra Gregory, Michael Tierney

Following two years of living abroad in Thailand, Sandra Gregory suddenly became desperately ill and as her medical bills began to mount, her bank account dwindled. In exchange for $2,000 she agreed to carry 89 grams of heroin to Tokyo for a friend, but before she even boarded the plane she was caught by Bangkok Airport security and ultimately sentenced to 25 years inside the infamous Lard Yao prison. In this shocking account, Sandra details the four and a half years she spent in Thai prison and describes scenes of horrific brutality and suffering. She tells of her daily fight for survival, of the many women who died with no medical care or loved ones around them, and of her acceptance of her guilt and ultimate redemption. Amidst the pain and torture, this honest recollection shows how Sandra fought for survival, and prevailed.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Autobiography, Crime, Travel, True Crime

280 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t believe she’s as innocent as she makes out. One minute she’s talking about stuffing a cat in a bag and throwing it in the lake to drown it and the next she says she’s not as bad as the guards think and wouldn’t kill a spider.

You go to Thailand and know there’s a death sentence for smuggling drugs and yet you still do it? Why?

Interesting read to a point but I don’t trust the narrative.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A touching story of one woman's heartbreaking journey through the Bangkok Hilton and the prison system in the UK. It is a story that actually transforms the reader into Sandra Gregory's own experiences and how she managed to make it through a horrific prison term and finally through the help of her parents seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! This is an excellent read and a lesson learned to late when we make the wrong decisions.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cartea urmareste povestea profesoarei britanice Sandra Gregory care dupa doi ani petrecuti in Bangkok, in urma unei lovituri de stat militare, isi pierde slujba, se imbolnaveste si ramane fara niciun ban. Disperata sa ajunga acasa, dar fara sa apeleze la ajutorul familiei ca sa le ceara bani de avion, accepta sa transporte o cantitate de droguri pentru un anume Robert. Este prinsa pe aeroport si condamnata la 25 de ani de inchisoare. De aici, viata ei se transforma intr-un cosmar, urmatorii ani fiind de-a dreptul ingrozitori. Patru ani este inchisa intr-o inchisoare renumita pentru ucigasi in serie, canibali si maniaci, apoi este repatriata in Marea Britanie unde inca trei ani este martora unor scene de brutalitate, violenta si degradare greu de acceptat. Sandra este eliberata in anul 2000 cand este gratiata de regele Thailandei, insa urmarile a ceea ce a trait sunt greu de ignorat.
Cartea asta mi-a dat mult de furca pentru ca totul mi s-a parut nedrept si greu de acceptat. M-am trezit de multe ori spunandu-mi ca mai bine moare decat sa mai traiasca asa cosmar... si ulterior citesc ca incearca si asta, insa nu-i iese... Este o carte extrem de trista, este o poveste de viata cutremuratoare pe care mi-as fi dorit sa nu o citesc, dar in acelasi timp realizez ca asta este de fapt adevarul din jurul nostru... si e bine sa-l cunoastem.
Ii dau 4 stele pentru curajul de a-si expune povestea si pentru ca este o poveste interesanta... nu placuta, dar interesanta.

[Kingfan30 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the Damage Done a couple of years ago which is also about life in a Bangkok prison but from the male perspective. It made for pretty horrific reading, but at the same time weirdly fascinating. So when I heard about this book I felt it needed reading to see life in a Bangkok prison from a female perspective, a few months later I found a copy in my local charity shop, took it home and there it sat on a shelf for a while!

This starts at the airport being found out by the police and I thought, great straight into the thick of things. It then skips back to explain why she decided to move to Thailand and how she found living there, before moving onto why she made the decision to try and smuggle drugs out of the country. Once in the prison things are pretty grim, although thinking back to the Damage Done, not as quite as grim as it was for the men. The more shocking part of the story for me was when she was moved back to the UK and how the system here treated her.

I have been to Thailand twice now and loved it both times, it really is a beautiful country and I would highly recommend a vist. Just don't do anything silly while your there!!

[Plum-crazy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I'd have never chosen of my own accord but it was given to me by a bookcrossing buddy & I'm really glad I read it. It's surprisingly easy to read considering the subject matter but I guess that's down to the way the story is told, Gregory gets on with it no-nonsense-like & manages to get you to empathise with her situation without feeling sorry for herself.

I have to say it's really made me question my opinions of justice & the penal system, (I was very much a "lock-'em-up-&-throw-away-the-key" type of person!) but this story raises so many issues. The unfairness of Gregory's sentence for the amount of drugs smuggled is outrageous when compared to others but she never denies the fact that she was guilty & accepts that she should be punished for breaking Thai laws.

It's hard to imagine living in such squalid conditions as those of the Thai jail but it's interesting that Gregory herself suffered much more (mentally anyhow) whilst imprisoned back in the UK.....it certainly gives you something to think about.

[♥ Marlene♥ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finally finished this book. Not a bad read at all but I just could not like her. To me there was something so unlikeable about her. I did feel sorry for her family though.Must have been so hard. Young people do make mistakes and this one cost her a lot.

Reading about the differences between the jail in Bangkok or the UK ones I would still prefer the UK ones.The men jail in Bangkok are worse. Interesting that the foreign women who had to stay there long all learned Thai and when they did that made life there easier of course.

I love foreign prison books.

[The_5ft_reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read ... i did feel for the family reading this, but she deserved everything she got for choices she made IMO

[Platon Cristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

„Sosise la Lard Yao cu o săptămână în urmă împreună cu o prietenă, păreau a fi un cuplu. Erau amândouă studente la universitate. Tatăl uneia dintre fete fusese polițist și le suspecta că furau bani din casa lui. A făcut o plângere la poliție împotriva lor, ca ele să vadă cum era viața în pușcărie.
Chiar și severa „mamă a celulei” avea o slăbiciune pentru cele două, permițându-le să doarmă una lângă alta. În fiecare seară una din fete mergea la toaletă să ia o cârpă din acelea care atârnau pe conducte pentru a șterge pe jos, acolo unde vorbeau. Multe deținute făceau acest lucru fiindcă era întotdeauna murdar pe jos.
În seara cu pricina fata a luat o cârpă și a udat-o. Apoi a frecat pe jos. După câteva minute a dus cârpa înapoi, aruncând-o pe conductă. Tocmai atunci conducata s-a spart. În conductă se afla un fir electric neizolat prin care trecea un curent de 220 de volți. Mâna dreaptă a fetei a trecut prin conductă și s-a oprit pe firul electric. S-a auzit un bâzâit ușor, apoi o pală de lumină. Picioarele ei se găseau în apă de o jumătate de centimetru, iar șoldul i s-a atins de un container vechi de metal.
Timp de un minut au sărit scântei până când prietena panicată a luat un prosop, l-a răsucit ca pe o funie, l-a pus în jurul gâtului fetei și a tras-o de pe firul electric. A scos din gât un sunet scurt și un horcăit, apoi a căzut grămadă. Tânărul ei trup fusese prăjit și acum zăcea acolo într-o baltă. Fumul ieșind de undeva din ea. A fost unul dintre cele mai îngrozitoare și mai triste momente la care am asistat vreodată. Fără veste, fata era moartă. Era ca și cum ar fi alunecat afară din propria piele, evapoâăndu-se.
Tatăl tinerei fete și-a retras plângerea. Îi dăduse fetei o lecție extrem de dură. Deținuta care trebuia să verifice instalațiile electrice a fost pedepsită. Însă nimic nu i s-a întâmplat oficialilor închisorii.”

[SadieReadsAgain · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was better than I thought it was going to be. I bought it years ago, after seeing the film Brokedown Palace (about two American girls who are jailed in Thailand for drug smuggling), but it's sat on my bookshelf for well over ten years without tempting me, as it always looked a bit airport-book-ish.

It's surprisingly well written, and Gregory is humble in her account. For me, her treatment in the UK prison service was far more shocking than her experiences in Thailand. Although at times I wondered if she were as innocent as she made out in the reasons for her being moved between different jails.

I liked how the story examined why she smuggled drugs in the first place, and the stories of other prisoners were heartbreaking to read. But I did feel the ending was a bit rushed - I'd have liked to know more about how transitioning into daily life was for her.

[Glenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think every teenager and young adult should have to read this book so if at any time someone asks them to carry drugs for them, especially in a foregin country, they know to say no and get the hell out of there!!! It just goes to show you how making one bad decision could affect the rest of your life. Sandra was lucky she survived all of her prison stints, especially the one in Thailand. I knew foreign prisons were bad but what she had to endure was absolutely horrific. She was honest and forthcoming and admitted she did the crime and deserved to be punished, but the punishment was truly disproportionate to the crime and what others were receiving. What a brave woman and I loved her candor and strong spirit!

[Ilana Cantor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a captivating autobiography by Sandra Gregory, who retells her (honestly very disturbing) experiences in numerous prisons after being caught attempting to smuggle heroin out of Thailand in order to fund her plane ticket home. Heart-wrenching at times, shocking at others, I was completely rapt at how Sandra managed to endure the events of her life. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who loves a good autobiography!

[Zuzka-knižníček · Rating 3 out of 5]

Knížka se velice dobře četla, byla jak plná emocí autorky, tak autentického popisu (až mrazí a máte pocit, že to zažíváte přímo vy) a srovnání vězení v Thajsku a Anglii. Ironií je, že ta anglická vězení byla mnohem horší, než thajská...

[Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow what a way to end up, this is very heartening story about how one bad decision can change not only your life but all those who care about you. A good read.

[Alex Zeegers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is een erg interessant boek om te lezen. Eerst is het een soort reisverhaal en daarna als ze gevangen zit kun je goed het verschil ervaren tussen de gevangenissen van Thailand em Engeland

[Oana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cartea este inspirata dintr-o poveste reala si surprinde povestea profesoarei britanice Sandra Gregory, care dupa doi ani petrecuți in Bangkok, in incercarea disperata de a se intoarce acasa si rămasă fara bani, este prinsă pe aeroportul din Bangkok avand asupra sa o cantitate semnificativă de heroina. Aceasta este condamnata fara drept de apel la 25 de ani de inchisoare de catre autoritatiile thailandeze, urmând sa isi petreaca 4 ani si jumatate in infernul Lard Yao, una dintre cele mai periculoase închisori, reședința a unor ucigași in serie.
Dupa îndelungi traume si suferințe, acesteia ii este aprobat transferul in Marra Britanie, unde isi petrece alti 4 ani in diferite închisori, unde asista la scene brutale, care o vor marca pe tot parcursul vietii.

[Paulo Seara · Rating 3 out of 5]

The grim account of a convicted British tourist in Thailand and UK system prisons in the 1990's, facing never ending ordeals after making a silly decision to help her to get back home. After the dreadful decision, it took Sandra Gregory almost ten years to see her family. The book released in 2003, thought it paints a rather dark narrative about life as a inmate, expect no less, its also about love and words that sadly are kept hidden until everything all falls apart.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book. I felt horrible for everything Sandra went through. The writing needed some work. It was all over the place with no rhyme or reason. I still marveled at how she made it through everything.

[Alva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ögonöppnande och intressant, om än lite upprepande emellanåt.

[Kate M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sandra is a young woman, who doesn't always think things through, and decides to go to Thailand for an adventure. During her time there several times she is asked whether she would be prepared to take gemstones, drugs and sex slaves in to other countries. She refuses each time thinking she wouldn't be so silly. Following a period of illness, she is desperate to get home to her parents and the UK, doesn't have any money and doesn't want to ask her parents for money for an airfare. Along comes Robert with an offer of 1000 pounds to take a small quantity of Heroin out of Thailand.
He is an addict and this would be his supply. Un-be known to her the authorities have him on their radar. Of course the inevitable happens and she gets caught at the airport.

Then follows her story of her experience with the Thai legal system, and her time in the 'Bangkok Hilton', which sounds horrendous. She spends a long time waiting to be sentenced, and when she finally is, it is the death sentence, which is then in the same breath commuted to 25 years. Her life in this prison is then told, the shame she feels she has brought to her family; the people she meets in the prison; daily life; the prison guards etc. She is then offered an opportunity to be returned to the US to serve the rest of her time.

One would think that life in the US prison sentence would be better, however Sandra finds it worse in many ways. She spends time in some of the worst prisons in the UK, Holloway and Durham jail. She is considered a threat of escape, injury to herself and to the wider population, basically all because of a report made by one prison guard.

Her parents campaign to get the British government to make a request to the King of Thailand to have her pardoned, so that she can spend the amount of time in the UK prison equivalent to the crime she committed. This is refused many times despite support from many MP's, Church groups etc.

Finally the King does pardon her and she is released. Sandra doesn't believe she shouldn't have spent time in prison, as what she did was wrong, however she felt that the UK system should have changed the 25 years sentence that she was given in Thailand, to a sentence in line with a similar charge in the UK. There are a number of countries in the world that do this with people who are charged overseas, and are then returned to serve the rest of their time in their countries, meaning a reduction in many cases.

It was an interesting and heart breaking tale about a young woman who wasn't an addict, and made one silly mistake. She spent a year touring the UK telling her tale to school students in the hope that they may be saved from making the same mistake. She was accepted into Oxford University to study Geography.

[Babs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished reading this book this morning, and thought it was an extremely interesting read. I haven't seen the Nicole Kidman film, but am interested in autobiographies of interesting people and people who have been in interesting situations.

I found the book was an interesting read and a Sandra seemed to be open and honest about her situation and what had happened to her. What did irritate me slightly about her though was her constant comparison of herself to other criminals both in Thailand and in other territories around the world. To me it doesn't matter that the penalty for her crime in the UK would have been 18-24 months, or whether in America they consider 1 year in a Thai jail to be equal to 6 years in an American jail, meaning the sentence is reduced once home. In Thailand the minimum sentence is 25 years, which is what Sandra was (eventually) sentenced to, and the UK operates a 1-year for 1-year policy.

However, overall this was a good read. It's interesting how Sandra reflected on the move back to the UK, and her experiences in jails in this country (I'd be interested in getting the opinion of a friend of mine who is a prison governor on Sandra's experiences). I thought it was very moving when she realised that she couldn't even remember how to use a set of keys as she had been incarcerated for so long, and when she reflected on how much of her life she had lost (and when I compared it to all that I had achieved in the years she had been in jail).

This book should certainly be compulsory reading for anyone going travelling in that part of the world to fully understand the consequences of your actions (I think every parent should buy a copy for their "gap year" child!). Sometimes it's better to pick up the phone and ask for help and lose some pride, than take risks to resolve a situation yourself.

[~*Kim*~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of Sandra Gregory and her time in prison for attempting to smuggle drugs out of Thailand. She does part of her time in Thailand and the rest in the United Kingdom, where she is from. Although she was guilty of attempting to smuggle the drugs, the sentence that she received was harsh. She received at first a life sentence, that was then reduced to 25 years. This was longer than some murders in Thailand. The story takes you from shortly before her trip to Thailand, through to her release. She does a really good job of describing the details of the environments she was subjected to. What I found sad, was the way she was treated in regards to her crime. Yes, she was guilty, but compared to those around her, to include the woman who killed and chopped up her husband, her crime was minor. The conditions of the Thai prisons were beyond belief. Tasks were disgusting, and included things like standing in fecal clogged sewer water in order to unclog the facilities used as toilets. Most of the women had constant sores on their skin due to the lack of water and poor living conditions. Unfortunately, things for Sandra did not improve when she was sent to the UK to finish her sentence. Since she was convicted in Thailand, the British government would do nothing to try and reduce her sentence, although even in the UK she was serving terms longer than some of the most vicious killers in the country.

[CK · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book as I was looking forward to delving into the reasons Sandra Gregory had for trying to traffic drugs out of Thailand, a country not exactly known for its leniency, as well as Sandra's experiences in jail.
The author does go into great detail on her though process and is candid that she was not smart and let her exhaustion and sickness along with her desperation for home to lead her into a terrible decision.
What was interesting was how close she was to getting away with it as Thai police only searched her due to the nervousness she was exhibiting. I was also very impressed with how well she was able to articulate the conditions and experiences of both Thai and British prisons. Of course as a reader you know its a one sided tale but still the pictures evoked and the concept of going into a British prison and being taken care of physically but emotionally losing it was something I had never thought of before. Asian prisons have such a bad reputation that the concept that they might actually be better for prisoners was simply not even something I would have ever conceived of before!
My criticism of this book was that the storytelling was very disjointed and it was hard to get a concept of her timeline and there were people she talked about as being so vital to her, such as the embassy representative in Thailand, but there is no story on them or what they even did.
Overall this book is interesting and worth the rea

[Gavin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book a lot. Perhaps Gregory is not the best writer, but there is a sense of honesty that pervades the pages, and while there is perhaps much that is moralistic (and rightly so) the novel also manages to be an effective indictment of the prison system, both in Thailand and in the U.K.
The novel is straightforward and chronological, and the detail is often graphic and disturbing. One thing that struck me and dragged me in to the novel was always the thought, from the beginning that "wow, this could have been me", although not because I have ever smuggled heroin or even considered trying, but because I am basically the same age as Gregory, grew up in a village about 2 miles from where she grew up, and I travelled to India at roughly the same time that she travelled to Thailand, and I was there, on and off, for most of the '90s. To complete the comparison I also studied geography at university at roughly the same time as she did, although in Sweden and not the U.K.
Because of this I found that the novel, as a cautionary tale, hit home with a vengeance. Rather than seeming unrealistic, I found myself living the pages in an alternate life. So I can recommend this book to all of you out there about to be consumed by the romance of the backpacking life - choose your travel acquaintances carefully!

[Yee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somehow, we begin to question the purpose of prison punishment. The prison punishment takes away the offender’s freedom and they should take responsibility for their wrongdoings. However, due to the poor conditions in the prison, stressful guards with their high-risk but low-pay job plus grouping together hundreds of crime offenders in a limited perimeter, the initial purpose to educate a crime offender to be responsible for their committed crime has turned into a survival school.

If they have the chance to be released from the prison, it takes time for them to adapt to the outside world and probably they are still sticking with the survival knowledge which they gained in the prison. The saddest thing is the society treating them differently due to their criminal history which one of the most common reasons that lead them to be repeat offenders. I feel no one have the right to judge or giving them an unfair treatment due to their past if they have a sincere repentance. As none of us is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, maybe the difference is our mistakes are not related to crimes but crime offenders have to bear the responsibility for their committed crimes and pay with their freedom as well.

Book Review: Forget You Had A Daughter by Sandra Gregory

[Shawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would have given this book 3 1/2 stars, if I could, as the last part of the book seemed to be just rushing through the last 4 years of her imprisonment. This autobiography is very good, in helping one to realize how one stupid decision can truly change the course of ones whole life. The author is very forthright in admitting that she did wrong as she was caught carrying heroin for someone else----trying to leave Thailand. She served about 5 years in a Thai prison, known as the Bangkok Hilton, and then was transferred to a British prison for the remainder of her prison term. Her descriptions are harrowing, unsettling and nightmarish, as she sees other prisoners going through this day to day hell----all the while she tries desperately to keep a positive attitude and not join their insanity.

It is a well written book, and she does a good job at "keeping it real"----but as I mentioned before, after she is moved to the British prison system, her descriptions become much more about her getting out and focusing on her pardon, and not on the day to day prison happenings. It felt like she just wanted to get through to the end----but then again----she probably did----as she was finally released after serving about 10 years of her 25 year term.

[Leila Summers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this incredible story reminded me to be grateful for every minute of my life. While reading the book in bed sipping on coffee, I could walk to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat or go for a long hot bath if I felt like it. Sandra Gregory could not do any of this. She spent years in jail under shocking and appalling circumstances. Her crime? She naively attempted to traffic heroin out of Thailand for a near-stranger in order to make enough money to fly home to England. She initially received the death sentence which was reduced to life and then to 25 years. After serving years in a Thai prison and then several British prisons with hardened criminals and murderers she eventually received a king’s pardon. In telling her story, Sandra takes full responsibility for her actions and never comes across wanting you to feel sorry for her. Even so, I felt that her punishment was way too harsh for the crime. This book is a harrowing tale of how one stupid decision can turn your life around in an instant. It is a riveting read and left me feeling thankful that I have never had to endure anything near what Sandra has endured. If you enjoy affliction memoirs, this one is highly recommended.

[Joe Stamber · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone ignorant of Sandra Gregory's story, I expected this book to be an account of her time in Lard Yao, or the notorious Bangkok Hilton. While this is certainly a main part of the book, there is more to it than that. Around the first quarter tells of the author's trip to Thailand and her adventures there. Eventually she becomes desperate to return home and accepts an offer to smuggle drugs to get the money she needs to pay for the journey. Of course, she gets caught and suffers the consequences. What follows is an account of her time in the Thai prison and subsequent transfer to the British legal system and time in various prisons on home soil. The reader is given an interesting insight into all these places, their conditions and the inmates that inhabit them. As the book draws to a close Gregory briefly describes her release and life in freedom since. She generally accepts that she did wrong and deserved to be punished, and certainly suffered both physically and mentally over a number of years for her mistake. The book is a worthwhile read and although I can't give it a 4 star rating it is definitely a 3.5, and I would recommend it to anyone interested in the subject matter.

[S. Valentine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like to read non fiction sometimes. This book gripped me straight away. What a sad story. I cannot believe the conditions of the prisons in Thailand, and the treatment received in UK prisons. This woman’s sentence was far too harsh, especially when compared with criminals that receive more lenient sentences for doing worse crimes. Sandra learnt her lesson instantly, told the truth at trial and kept out of trouble throughout, but it didn’t seem to help her case at all, and she was dealt a lot of bad luck. The book is extremely interesting, giving you an insight into prison life and prisoners, such as Rose West, and what she was like. It was also heartbreaking to read about an innocent woman who had served two decades in prison, whereby corrupt legal systems failed to mention extremely important evidence from the jury which could have proved the woman’s innocence. This story is captivating, emotional and a brilliant read. Sandra is brave, and she did her time for the crime. I hope this woman is happy in her life now, and I really do wish her all the best. And her parents were amazing, never forgetting they had a daughter.

[Pia Stone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always like a true story, and I like it even better when it's honest, brave and compelling.

Sandra readily admits that she made a stupid decision that got her landed in prison(s), but the tale that allows us to understand how she could possibly get there is an interesting one, and it proves that sometimes we can really be so desperate to get home that we'll do anything.

As the story unfolded, I couldn't believe the ordeal that she went through before finally being given the sweet release of home. I was so interested to understand how different prisons work, how prisoners are treated, the mindsets that occur after every change and having to get comfortable in body and mind again and again.

I can completely understand her thoughts of injustice, especially having been moved to some scary places and being put in the same category of women who have done much more severe crimes than her.

I really enjoyed it and thought it was fascinating, although it did make me lose faith in the prison system!!

[Lydia Hale · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had already watched a progam on TV about Sandra Gregory and her story of being locked up abroad; and it was after watching the program on TV that I decided to read the book.
I really enjoyed the book! Sandra Gregory takes you on her journey - the events leading up to her deciding to carry drugs, being caught, her year at the prison at Lard Yao, and then after in various prisons in the UK. She writes with such honesty and is very humble. She doesn't make excuses for her crime, and accepts that she deserved to serve time in prison for it - however, the length of her sentence was harsh! The insight Sandra Gregory gives into the British prison system is very interesting and also alarming. At the end of the book, I was happy to read that Sandra Gregory is trying to share her message so others are warned of the dire consequences smuggling drugs of any quantity, and glad to read she was getting her life back together. What an amazing woman!