Great Lies to Tell Small Kids

Lies to Tell Small Kids

by Andy Riley

More wicked humor from the mind of the bestselling author of The Book of Bunny Suicides and The Return of the Bunny Suicides .

Cartoonist Andy Riley turns his irreverent wit to another group of small creatures that lurk among us seemingly children. From the benign (every ant you meet must be named) to the truly cruel (Ronald McDonald is dead!), each hilarious cartoon has a tall tale to educate children and entertain wicked adults everywhere.

Genres: Humor, Comics, Graphic Novels, Nonfiction, Comedy, Graphic Novels Comics, Comic Strips

96 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Andy Riley is a cartoonist and scriptwriter from Britain.
He drew a weekly strip cartoon for The Observer Magazine called Roasted, which is also collected in hardback edition. So far his books have sold around one and a half million copies and have been published in eighteen countries, producing calendar, greetings card and poster spin-offs. Lucky Heather is his self-published mini-comic.
His comedy scriptwriting is done in partnership with Kevin Cecil. They have won two BAFTAS, for the sitcom Black Books in 2005 and the animated special Robbie The Reindeer in 2000. They created and wrote the sitcoms The Great Outdoors and Hyperdrive for the BBC, and Slacker Cats for the ABC Family Channel. Other television writing credits include Little Britain, The Armando Iannucci Shows, Come Fly With Me, Trigger Happy TV, So Graham Norton, Smack The Pony, The Armstrong and Miller Show, Bob and Margaret, Spitting Image, Harry and Paul, Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show, Alexei Sayle’s Merry Go Round, Man Stroke Woman and Big Train. Their Radio 4 panel game, The 99p Challenge, won a Sony silver award.
As well as writing comedy, they are experienced writers of feature-length animation: their credits include Gnomeo and Juliet (released February 2011) and The Pirates! (in production at Aardman). They did an uncredited rewrite of Tim Burton’s The Corpse Bride.
Andy is originally from Aylesbury but now lives in London. He used to be the stage dancer for The Pod, Julian Barratt’s comedy techno band which was the forerunner of The Mighty Boosh. His hobbies include urban canoeing.
Despite rival claims on the internet, Andy Riley is the true originator of the tradition of cross-dressing at the Towersey folk festival.

Reviews

[Fereshteh · Rating 4 out of 5]

همه مون یه روزی بچه بودیم و به همه مون دروغ کم نگفتن:دی

اگه میخواین تلافی دروغ هایی که بهتون گفتند رو سر نسل های بعدی دربیارین این کتاب حدود هشتاد تا ایده ی عالی در اختیارتون قرار میده...می تونین به بچه ها بگین و واکنششون رو سیر کنید و بهشون تو دلتون بخندین یا از کجا معلوم شاید هم اونها به شما تو دلشون خندیدن
:-"

مورد علاقه ی من


و این خخخخ


مطمئن نیستم این یکی خیلی به درد بچه های وطنی بخوره


وشاید دلتون بخواد به بچه کمی هم درس علوم بدین




با آرزوی موفقیت برای شما دوستان :دی

[Fatima · Rating 3 out of 5]

نسبت به باقی کمیک هایی که تا به امروز خوندم دلچسب نبود ولی خوب بود و گاهی هم بانمک میشد ... یه جاهاییش به دروغ هایی که توی کودکی بهم گفتن و سرکارم میذاشتن فکر میکردم خصوصا بدترینشون که دو سه سالم بود و بچه های بزرگ تر یه چیز ترشی بهم دادن و خوردم و بعد که قورتش دادم گفتن عنکبوت بود ! و من هم مردم از گریه و زاری و بعد ها که بزرگ شدم کاشف به عمل اومد که چاقاله بادوم خوردم و چون هوا تاریک بوده و ندیدمش , با سوالم که این چی بود خوردم ؟ اونا هم بانمک بازی شون گل میکنه و حسابی از عکس العمل من میخندن و هنوزم که هنوزه میخندن !!! نامردا !!! :| :))

یک سری از دروغ هایی که بیشتر بچه ها میشنون و حسابی هم باورش میکنن ایناست :

[فؤاد · Rating 3 out of 5]

ممنون بابت دوستانی که ریویو نوشتن و باعث شد دانلود کنم.
بعضی از دروغ هاش باید خیلی سن پایینی داشته باشه بچه تا باور کنه. ولی کلاً خوندن دروغ هاش باعث خنده میشد. بعضیاشون خیلی هوشمندانه بودن.

راستش رو بخواید، خود آدم ناخواسته وقتی با بچه سر و کله میزنه، شیطان درونش باعث میشه محض سرکار گذاشتن این کارو بکنه و بعضی وقتا نتیجه ش خیلی جالب میشه: بچه دوان دوان میره پیش مادرش و میپرسه که آیا واقعاً اینطوریه؟ و مادرش اگه اهل حال باشه، دروغ رو تأیید میکنه و دوتا هم میذاره روش و خلاصه داستانی میشه!

[Setayesh Dashti · Rating 3 out of 5]

ترکیبی از بامزه‌‌بازی‌های جالب و بامزه‌بازی‌های بی‌مزه بود، ولی واقعاً خوش می‌گذره آدم یه بچّه رو این طوری سرِ کار بذاره!
باهاش قهقهه نزدم امّا لبخند زدم. ایده‌های خلّاقانه و بعضاً انتقادی‌ای داشت!

× کلّی با خودم کلنجار رفتم زمانِ خوندنش رو تو گودریدز بزنم یا نه، چون حس می‌کردم بهتره تو چلنجم محاسبه نشه! :د

[Veeral · Rating 2 out of 5]

Andy Riley is at his best when he thinks up unique and gory ideas about bunnies committing suicide. So far there are three books in the bunny suicides series, and all are morbidly funny.

This book, not so much.

Stick to killing cute rabbits, Andy.

[Narges Moeini · Rating 3 out of 5]

(بچه که بودم کسی رو لازم نداشتم که بهم این دروغا رو بگه. سر خود به حرف این عکسه رسیده بودم.)

[Bettie · Rating 3 out of 5]

So astute:

'Wine makes mummy clever'

[Mohammad Ali Shamekhi · Rating 2 out of 5]

اصلا در قد و قواره کتاب دیگه ی رایلی - یعنی سری خودکشی اون خرگوشه - نیست. در اصل ایده ی سر کار گذاشتنش جالبه و چند مورد از سرکار گذاشتناش

[Etienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not has funny as the Bunny Suicides books, but still the same format of one page one joke with a sketchy drawing to represented it. Still a fun book!

[owl · Rating 5 out of 5]

hehehehehehe..buku yang lucu.
gimana yah kalo beneran diceritain ke anak kecil.
tinggal nunggu digetok emak-nya.


"Most birds wear parachutes in case they suddenly forget how to fly"


****

[Dina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some jokes were hilarious, others were kind of meh. All in all, this was a quick, funny and twisted read.

[Thesunan · Rating 4 out of 5]

hear!! hear!!! heheehehe




mungkin ini awal cerita dari istilah TGIF : Thanks God It's Friday

[I'mogén · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a random and strange little book! It did pull some giggles out of me though, I must admit, haha!

Pick it up, give it a go and enjoy! ^^
Gén

[Zwart Raafje · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5*

[Dolly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bizarre and funny - this book is to adults what memes are to our girls. I shared the book with our youngest and she didn't really appreciate the humor.

Granted, it is a bit dated in places, but I thought many of the comics were hilarious. To each their tastes, I suppose.

[Mohi Hajihoseini · Rating 3 out of 5]

بعضی از دروغ هاش واقعا ارزش امتحان کردن روی بچه های فامیل رو داره =))) ولی برای باور کردن خیلی هاش بچه باید بهره هوشی پایینی داشته باشه :/ در کل بد ن��ود‌.

[Saboteadora · Rating 2 out of 5]

Este cómic es una paranoia paranoicamente paranoica. 🤨 No me ha resultado especialmente divertido, y no creo que un niño se divirtiera tampoco (mucho menos si se cree algunas de las cosas que dice el cómic 😂). No sé bien qué público busca este cómic, lo cogí por curiosear.

[Jalyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny stuff! I've read this book a number of times and it always makes me laugh. If your kids are ever driving you crazy, just pick up a copy of this book and imagine telling them some of the things in it. The next time I'm going crazy, I just might pull this book out and try a few of them. I particularly like

"They say no two snowflakes are the same, but who's ever checked?
I'll give you a hundred dollars if you can find me a matching pair."

that would keep them entertained and be entertaining for me.

and

"If you grab the edge of your chair and pull as hard as you can you'll lift yourself into the air."

maybe that would get them to sit down for a little while. Lol this book is awesome!

[Rachael Hewison · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was thrilled to learn that Andy Riley had created a new set of cartoons 'Great Lies to Tell Small Kids.' I desperately hoped it would be as good as the Bunny Suicides but it didn't quite live up to it.

Don't get me wrong; some of them are hilarious and it's so tempting to try them out on small children. I actually remember having been told a few of them myself (the lifting the chair up one) so that was a nice touch. On the whole though some of them were quite bland and I'd say less than half of them actually made me laugh; unlike the Bunny Suicides when everyone of them did.

I think Riley is superb but this one just didn't quite reach its full potential.

[Zedsdead · Rating 4 out of 5]

Andy Riley is an evil genius.

"If you spin around really fast and then stop your face will skid round to the back of your head."

"The statue of liberty switches hands when her torch arm gets tired. She only does it when no-one's looking. The next time should be in about twelve years."

"Birds wear parachutes in case they suddenly forget how to fly."

"Your dad is really a yeti. He shaves his entire body every morning."

"BEWARE GUITARS. A small hairy primate called a Warris lives inside every one. They live on a diet of human fingers."

"Squares have a secret fifth side that you can only see if you stare at it for a very very long time."

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're old-fashioned and pure of heart, this is not the book for you!

But if you like slightly twisted off-the-wall humor, this book is hysterical.

I still think my Dad wrote this book. I just know he didn't go to heaven, he's been re-incarnated as Andy Riley! Yup, the same kind of stuff I heard growing up but they can't be lies! Can they!?!

Hey if you grew up hearing old wive's tales, urban legends, or imaginative ramblings that were so much more interesting than the dry facts other poor kids had to put up with from their siblings or parents... Grab this book now!

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is amazing! Hahaha... I tried a few of these on my 5-year-old brother and they're great. The great thing is that some of them are based on fact.

-For example, 1 in 10 fish are afraid of water.
-2 in 40,000 cars that leave the car factory are "Siamese cars"; if they share an axle, they can never be separated.
-If you try a vegetable, you might like it.

The art is hilarious, too.

[Batul · Rating 4 out of 5]

جالب بود. البته خب خیلی هاش برای بچه های ما معنی نداره، ولی به آدم ایده میده. میشه خیلی از دروغها رو بومی سازی کرد و تحویل بچه داد. من این کار رو اصلا غلط نمیدونم. بچه رو به فکر وامیداره. بعضی وقتها که یه چیز اشتباه بهشون میگم به فکر فرو میرن و یه جواب خلاقانه بهم میدن. یا اینکه بچه هایی که خیلی ساده هستن، یاد میگیرن که هر حرفی رو از هر کسی نباید قبول کنن.‏
کلا تفریح خوبیه

[Sara Eames · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an amusing book - if you enjoy "Bunny Suicides" then you'll probably enjoy this one. I especially like the Tooth Fairy lie and the reason offered for not seeing "ghosts when we visited the castle"...

It is a quick read - mainly because it consists mainly of cartoons but is great to while away a few minutes and put a smile on your face.

[Tori · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of these lies don't live up to the title. But some of them are downright hilarious. And the pictures vacillate between being adorable/weird and ugly/weird. I've really been wanting to use the word "vacillate" lately. Score.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Balance of Content The balance between dialogue, description, and action is maintained quite well. No single element dominates the text, which creates a harmonious flow for the reader. The author moves between these different modes of writing with professional ease. Discover the ratio of action to dialogue by following the link. >>> https://script.google.com/macros/s/AK...

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I needed a quick book for a reading challenge, and I love The Bunny Suicides. This has the same quirky humor, and some of them were pretty funny (and sparked some ideas of lies I need to tell me kids).

[Evelin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have updated my basket of “toilet reads” and this was in it. I absolutely love all “Bunny Suicides” books so my expectations were high. Oh, well. If I say that every fifth joke made my grin, I would probably lie and it was more like every tenth. Tastes like disappointment.

[حسناء · Rating 4 out of 5]

it's so funny , but it seems that white people can't get enough jokes about their god ,which make me feel sad .

[Gacela · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lo leí en la biblioteca, se acaba enseguida. Podrían ser cuatro estrellas también, algunas de las páginas me parecieron especialmente ingeniosas, aunque otras más trilladas.