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For the Love of Noleen

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Cynthia Owen grew up in Ireland, went to the local convent school, said her prayers and took her first communion with all the other girls in her class. But behind the facade of respectability lurked a hideous reality. Cynthia was just eight years old when she was sexually abused by her father amongst others. Shortly before her eleventh birthday she was made pregnant and, minutes after giving birth to the baby, Cynthia watched in horror as her own mother murdered the tiny infant, named Noleen, by repeatedly stabbing her with a knitting needle. Cynthia's mother then wrapped the baby girl in a plastic bag, dumped her in an alleyway and made her daughter go back to school and pretend nothing had ever happened. After enduring many more years of rape and violence, Cynthia came forward and reported her abuse and Noleen's death. Finally, in 2007, after a fifteen-year legal fight to have her baby girl formally identified, the jury at the 'Dun Laoghaire Baby' inquest declared that the baby found dead in an alleyway thirty-four years previously was Noleen Murphy, the daughter of Cynthia Owen. Cynthia's is a horrific story of brutality and loss, but ultimately, it is an account of love, immense bravery and her fight for justice in Noleen's name.

312 pages, Paperback

First published October 29, 2009

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Cynthia Owen

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5 stars
230 (51%)
4 stars
132 (29%)
3 stars
58 (12%)
2 stars
20 (4%)
1 star
9 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
Profile Image for Fiona MacDonald.
819 reviews198 followers
April 5, 2018
SPOILER *CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF MURDER*

The more misery memoirs I read, the more horrific the subject content.
Cynthia Owen's story is grotesque, she is molested by her father, his friends, her mother's friends and anyone else who takes a fancy to her. Her mother allows it to happen. She is bullied at school by the nuns who disbelieve her home life. By 11 she is pregnant, as she gives birth her mother murders her baby by stabbing it to death with a knitting needle in front of her and dumps it in a lane. Her mother never speaks of the baby again and continues to deny there ever was one.
It almost seems unreal how savage Cynthia's family were to her, but Cynthia finally fights back and tries to take both her parents to court.
Despite the horrible content, I find it important to read accounts like these to understand the depths of depravity some people will sink to when it comes to molesting children, but still it's never a pleasant read.
Profile Image for Jeannie.
575 reviews32 followers
March 5, 2011
This was a hard hitting, gut-wrenching read for me.

There are so many of this type of book out there, and I've noticed they usually come out of the U.K. What in the hell is wrong with the child protective services in that country? That is probably a story that someone should write about, seriously!

This book is exceptional in my opinion, and different from others of this genre I have read, her writing style was just so easy to follow and very understandable. She actually made me feel her pain, her bewilderment, her innocence. What is NOT understandable to me is how everyone, especially the school she attended and the teachers she interacted with on a nearly daily basis ( and of course, it was a religious one, imagine that! ) OR hey! how about the parents of the children she was friends with? that NONE of them noticed that something was wrong? Makes me ill and sick to my stomach.....I wouldn't treat the lowest form of life on earth the way she was treated..everytime I read this type of book I just keep thinking, "How could someone not know? Not care? Not take a second out of their life to change the life of another?" wow!

My heart truly goes out to Cynthia, No ONE, NO ONE deserves to be treated in a manner such as this!! What a horrible childhood she had! I know there is evil in the world but I don't think that word comes EVEN close to describing the type of parents she had. And yet she gave forgiveness. Amazing!! Amazing story, amazing woman. I am in awe.
Profile Image for Jamie Paciorek.
532 reviews151 followers
August 23, 2020
giphy
I just got done reading this disgusting, horrible and disturbing book.
It's a true crime story based on real life events that the author went through from early childhood on into adulthood THIS BOOK IS FULL OF TRIGGERS FROM THE FIRST PAGE TO THE VERY LAST PAGE There was nothing happy in this book. I had to force myself to finish the story hoping that she would get some justice for all the shit she went through. I was sooooo fucking angry at the what this girl went through.

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I literally wanted to murder this girl's mother, father 2 of her aunt's and her uncle. And her father's male work associate's. Don't get me started on that piece of shit Catholic school and the nuns in that school. Among other things.
seriously what the hell was wrong with these fucking nuns. the shit this poor girl had to deal with 24/7 between school and at home. was just plain disgusting. I'm literally having a hard time reading this book. it hurts my heart just knowing that she was going through that for years.
Profile Image for Love.
198 reviews21 followers
March 24, 2011
This one was bit tough to read. It was so descriptive. I swear I could smell the smells she wrote about, feel the pain she felt. I still with all the books I have read of this genre can not believe this goes on. How do so many people involved in these childrens lives miss ALL the signs? How can a child go to school covered in filth and bruises and no one notice?

I know this was a different era, I sure hope there is more in place in this part of the world to help with awarness. Teachers taught to look for these type things.

I am very sad for Cynthia to never have gotten justice for herself and her Noleen. I am even more saddened that three children from that family to have taken their own lives. I wonder if these parents felt any guilt for their crimes? I also wonder why the older children that were spoke of in this book did not help. Turn their parents in, ask the younger children if they were ok. Maybe they themselfs were also damaged emotionally and just wanted nothing to do with these people.This had to have gone on for them before all these younger children were born. Now I was a bit confused about one thing...just how many children did these people have? I thought at one point she menioned 9 plus her. Then at least 3 more were born. Then they also raised a grandchild. Or did she mean 9 children total plus the granchild?

Ok so now about his mother...she set those children up to be raped? Her own mother helped her cover the birth of Noleen up. Along with two of the mothers sisters molesting/raping Cynthia. What went on when Cynthia's mom was a child? Three sisters in one family child molesters? I glad to see Cynthia broke that families cycle of abusing children. She is one tough lady to have made it out alive, that is for sure.

One of the top five I have read of this genre...
Profile Image for Simone Perren.
93 reviews41 followers
January 20, 2016
Rating this book was very difficult. As this is a true story, I felt that I couldn't really criticise the storyline or plot because this is Cynthia Owen's real life story. But I gave this book a three star rating because I'm ashamed to say, it made me feel uncomfortable. I have no doubt that my feelings towards this book are something I have to deal with and don't really reflect upon the author or this book. I struggled reading excerpts of the book where she talked in considerable depth and very graphically about the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her dad and other men. That is my issue though.

I have never cried so much at a book before, this book had me sobbing from start to finish. Not only was the story obviously horrific and not something any child should have to go through, or adult for that matter, but when I stopped to think about it, I would remind myself this was real life. When reading a sad book usually, I can console myself with the fact that there will be a happy ending but I was reading this book thinking it's a true story so the ending cannot be influenced by the cookie-cutter book layout. I won't say anything about the ending here as I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it was obviously the truth about what happened and therefore not something that could be altered for the happiness of the reader.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book if only to find out more about the truth and some of the psychological scars left behind on children who are abused. It interested me because I like to think I am a good people person so knowing what to look out for or how to interact differently with victims of abuse was something worth knowing.
Profile Image for Maria.
4 reviews4 followers
July 15, 2015
I strongly recommend people to not read this book if they can not handle real life murders and sexual abuse. If there was a way to un-read a book, I'd unread this. A part of me really wishes to hold back the sentiments and put this back on my shelf just as any other book I read but I guess that will never be the case. This is one of the very few books that I would never forget. I think it gave me an entire new perspective towards life as it is. It was a very, very, very hard read. And at a point I couldn't go on anymore because of the unending details of an unforgivable, heinous crime. It being a true story is yet again another shocker and just picturing it happening had me in tears. I don't think a book has ever made me cry as much as this did. I know there are plenty of teenagers out there with psychological problems and have books based on them. But this, this was out of the ordinary. It truly broke my heart. As much as I wish to get this out of my system, I'm very glad to have read something so real, so cruel, so truthful. SPOILER ALERT:
The people responsible for ruining so many lives died peacefully in thier hospital beds. If there is any justice out there, if there is any love and if there is a karma then I wish from the bottom of my heart that these people suffer in their afterlives. What is forever? I hope it's a hellhole with endless suffering for these paedophilic devils.
Profile Image for Abigail T.
220 reviews10 followers
March 27, 2018
I’ve read vast amounts of this type of book but I can honestly say this is one of the most upsetting on s I have ever read! What a life! The book is quite graphic at times and I think some readers will really struggle. Such a sad story.
Profile Image for Melissa.
73 reviews3 followers
October 21, 2011
Let me say Wow! A gut-wrenching, incredible story about a child who grew up in a home dominated by such terrible neglect and abuse of every type. Reminded me of the Dave Pelzer book "A Child Called It" in quite a few ways, but this book was even more haunting and harder to read for me. I know for sure that there are stories of children whose lives are lived in this way. I have no doubt, but several times I was thinking to myself, "How much can a child take and still live through this?" Very, very tough book to read and horrific that someone who calls themselves a "parent" can hurt a child in this way.
Profile Image for Elaine.
55 reviews
February 11, 2011
Harrowing...how this woman has not followed the same path as her siblings I will never know... I can't comprehend how parents would want to do this. It's just so far from my realm of understanding. But at the same time the mother had obviously suffered guilt at some level to act the way she did coming to the end of Cynthia's life in the house, but by the time Cynthia confronted her parents this guilt had been buried between another mountain of sins and trying to forget them all. Disturbing memoirs to say the least.
Profile Image for Patricia Kaniasty.
1,489 reviews61 followers
December 17, 2014
This was by far the most shocking and disturbing case of child abuse that I have ever read about. I kept waiting for the poor girl to die just so she would not have to go through those horrible things again. And her parents.........pure evil. I have no concept of what they were thinking. There are definately no happy ending in this book.
Profile Image for Philippa.
12 reviews2 followers
January 19, 2011
finished this book last night, this one is a true story.. i kind of wish i had never read it at all, not because it's a bad book but because of how horrific this womans story is and the amount of abuse and tragedy her and her family went through, you could cry for this family :(
Profile Image for Melissa.
10 reviews
May 5, 2015
It is horrible that such bad things happened, but it is inspiring that the author has come so far. It is very well written and moving. I am glad that she has not let her past destroy her, but has felt strong enough to let the world know of the injustices she has faced.
Profile Image for Yvonne.
374 reviews1 follower
June 1, 2010
I had to take a break from the book for a few days due to the disgusting abuse the writer was going through. Sick parents!
16 reviews62 followers
January 16, 2018
This was a difficult experience; the narration is so real, disturbing and gut-wrenching that I had to put down the book several times to breathe and remind myself that it was a book. It saddened me to the core that something like this happened in the world we live in and no human being came forward to help the child. She had friends and nuns around her and yet nobody noticed the bruises and all the other signs? To have to live with that childhood and the post traumatic stress shook me and filled me with gratefulness that I live a better life in a different era. It also makes you aware of the possibility that abuse doesn't always have to happen outside homes.

I'm sure I won't be able to stop thinking about this narrative and I don't want to either. In fact more people should read this so that we can look out for others and maybe help someone in need.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
89 reviews
July 28, 2021
I usually have a fairly strong stomach. My entire podcast list is composed of true crime. I fall asleep to the ID channel.

None of that prepared me for what happened to Cynthia. It is so horrific and unbelievable that I had to keep reminding myself this really happened. The violent SA being done to this little girl not only by her father, but her aunts, uncle, and community. Hell even sweet old granny was in on it. It got to the point where I wasn’t sure if this was a legit true story or just a marketing ploy to get people to read the book. Thanks to Google and international newspapers going digital, I confirmed this is 100% accurate. I feel so icky giving such an evil experience 5 stars but this woman laid it all out there so how do you give her any less? No idea how she turned out functional, let alone have the ability to love and be loved but my god what an inspiration she is.
Profile Image for Kim.
605 reviews20 followers
January 17, 2018
Harrowing
How people survive what Cynthia did is beyond me. And then they become valuable, kind, caring human beings.
It's amazing

That people do this kind of things to each other, to children, to their own children just floors me.

I am speechless
8 reviews
December 11, 2023
Amazing book

This lady showed amazing strengths, she went through things some people could never imagine and told her story with the strength she has and a lot nicer than I have x
From one survivor to another don't let others decide your future be happy x
Profile Image for Paw.
219 reviews
June 4, 2025
Seriously, is there really even a god??
This book will show you that life/people can be so f**king cruel.
my heart aches for this girl and woman throughout listening to her life she had to endure, and still has to live with this for the rest of her life.


5 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
Profile Image for Sue Seaman.
122 reviews
July 13, 2018
This book took some reading very harrowing real life story to think this happened only a few decades ago. You are a very strong woman Cynthia Owen
25 reviews
October 18, 2018
It was difficult to read this book
My heart broke reading about all the horrible things that happened to Cynthia Owen
92 reviews4 followers
March 10, 2021
My heart literally broke for Cynthia and her siblings! I have NEVER heard of such horror!!
Profile Image for Susan Bramhald.
9 reviews
April 8, 2023
What evil parents Cynthia had and then to find out all brother’s and sister’s took their own lives.parts of this book had me in tears.
Profile Image for Cierra Medema.
1 review1 follower
April 28, 2024
Had me turning the page, and couldn’t out down! The ugly truth of this story will keep you going. A book I have read a couple times and each time it’s like the first! love love love
Profile Image for Rebecca.
351 reviews3 followers
June 13, 2019
Her Mum and Dad were a real piece of work. What a revolting couple.
Profile Image for Kamilė Strach.
293 reviews15 followers
April 29, 2020
Living with evil - Cynthia Owen

Šokiruojanti knyga!!! Tikra istorija!!! Vaikų seksualinis išnaudojimas!!! Aplinkinių žmonių abejingumas, nusisukimas, ignoravimas!!!

Cynthia pasakoja savo vaikystės istoriją. Alkoholikai tėvai, kurie buvo gerbiami aplinkinių. Nuolat šeimai aukomis atnešami drabužiai, maistas, nes juk šeimai sunku su aštuoniais vaikais. Pinigų užteko tik cigaretėms ir alkoholiui, tačiau ne vaikų išlaidoms, ne muilui, ne elektrai, ne gimtadienių dovanoms.

Cynthia nuo 6 metukų amžiaus tris kartus į dieną bėgdavo į parduotuvę mamai pirkti chereso ir cigarečių, prižiūrėdavo naujagimius, kurie kasmet gimdavo, kiek suprato, tvarkė namus. O nuo aštuomerių metų prasidėjo tikra kankynė - tėvo seksualinė prievarta.

Mergaitė nežinojo, kad tai kažkas blogo. Ji manė, kad taip elgiasi visi tėčiai. Tačiau jai kėlė įtarimą jo elgesys, nes kaskart jai vis labai skaudėdavo.

Galiausiai, jai būnant 11 metų, ji pastojo. Neaišku nuo ko, nes tuo metu seksualinė prievarta buvo aukščiausiame lygyje. Ne tik tėtis ją kankino, bet ir tetos, dėdės bei vyrai, atsiradę iš niekur. Kol mergaitė kentėjo, mama krovėsi vis daugiau pinigų ir vis brangesnių gėrimų rasdavosi namuose.

Labai įstrigo mamos ir Cynthios vienas pokalbis.

- Mamyte, man nepatinka, ką tie vyrai ir tėtis daro su manimi.. Man skauda. Aš bijau.

- You stupid bich. They just rollin' over you drunk. Do not cry. Just do what they want you to do to them. And shut up!

Šie žodžiai vis dar skamba mano ausyse.

Mergaitė nežinojo, kur kreiptis pagalbos. Pirmiausia, ji bijojo tik mamos, vėliau, kai tėtis pradėjo ją skriausti, neteko ir jo tėviškumo.. Močiutei, vyresnėm sesėms ar mokytojoms sakyti bijojo, nes mamytė sakė - shut your mouth, Cynthia, other people just want to poke their noses not in to their businesses and if somebody comes to our house asking, I will beat you heavily!

Kaip jau supratote, istorija - tikrai ne silpnų nervų skaitytojams.

Apibendrinant šią knygą, ją rekomenduoju tikrų istorijų mėgėjams. Bet reikia tam tikro nusiteikimo prieš skaitant.
Skaičiau anglų kalba, tekstas lengvai ir greitai skaitosi. Jokių įmantrių žodžių vartota nebuvo, tad tinka anglų kalbą dar tik besimokantiems.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Sarah.
16 reviews9 followers
April 7, 2013
This was a hard book to read, you do spend most of the time reading this wondering where was everyone? Was there no-one to help her, did no-one notice? Although at the same time it doesn't surprise considering the revelations which have come out about church institutions in recent times.

This book has been written in such a style that you can hear the voice of a child retelling it, while not graphic in words describing the abuse, it still provides powerful imagery. She is a credit to humanity for her courage. I wish her nothing but happiness and strength in her life going forward. Even if you have never experienced the things she has gone through, her vivid descriptions mean that you can have some idea of her life.

This is a story you will never forget once you have read it. It is a very humbling book to read and you are compelled to finish as soon as you start. I finished it in two days! I wouldn't necessarily recommend it as a read for people due to how horrific it is, but at the same time people need to know if not for what can't be done but what could be done. What can we do to help in the future. Knowledge is power.
135 reviews
July 18, 2016
this book was well written.

Putting aside what this woman must have gone through and concentrating on the story ...

I found it terribly depressing. That there was no justice in end I really felt cheated.

The main incident of crime, i found absolutely horrifying, like something out of a horror movie - and i dont scare easily. I guess i am lucky i dont have children because if that had happened to an animal instead - i wouldve thrown the book down in disgust and wouldnt have been able to read it

I did feel it was a tiny bit of a cop out that she just said - I didnt see my first son for many years, for reasons which i cant talk about. What reasons? Drugs? Abuse? Something happened there...

Profile Image for Tracy Blaine.
1 review
December 27, 2012
This is a disturbing book, but also very interesting
its a true story that really makes you think of how low and depraved some parents can be.
This story pulled at my heart strings and totally shocked me.
How professional people never saw the signs of neglect and abuse is beyond me but more important how can this kind of abuse still exist today.
It was a very very sad story but an absolutely amazing book
Ive read probably 100 books on these kind of subject but this is with out a doubt the best book I have read on this subject.
I defy anyone who reads this book and is not touched or bought to tears.
id recommend this book to anyone with a heart to read.
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