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Dracula is a Racist: A Totally Factual Guide to Vampires
Vampires: The 100% Bona Fide Totally Real And Not Made Up At All Truth
In this day and age, the belief in vampires has been dwindling at an exponential rate. Those who still believe in them are often wildly misinformed. So what do you think will happen when Johnny McNormalpants finds himself face to face with a bloodthirsty vampire? Probably crap his pants, but then what? An informed citizen would know exactly what to do in this situation. If only there was some way to enlighten the public about this often forgotten subject, preferably in the form of a mock informative guide or something.
From Matt Melvin, one of the creators of Explosm.net and the hit online comic Cyanide & Happiness, comes Dracula Is A Racist, the definitive guide to vampires, answering those gravely important questions that keep you up at night. . .
Was Dracula really a racist?
How do vampires do their hair if they don't have any reflection?
Is it gross for immortals to be attracted to high school girls if they're stuck in a 17-year-old body?
Was Sesame Street ever truly safe from The Count?
Is dressing in all black and acting snobby toward everyone enough to fake being a vampire?
Just how much more badass are vampires than zombies?
Dracula Is A Racist is the essential vampire handbook that digs up all the dirt and backs it up with hard vampirical evidence. That's totally true. Really.
Matt Melvin is a 25-year-old T-shirt aficionado and sideburn enthusiast. Along with three other dudes, he runs Explosm.net, a pretty awesome website full of awesome things. When not adding even more filth to the Internet, he enjoys criticizing and complaining about movies, listening to music and inventing obscure types of niche sexual acts. He currently lives in San Diego. He is very tall."
In this day and age, the belief in vampires has been dwindling at an exponential rate. Those who still believe in them are often wildly misinformed. So what do you think will happen when Johnny McNormalpants finds himself face to face with a bloodthirsty vampire? Probably crap his pants, but then what? An informed citizen would know exactly what to do in this situation. If only there was some way to enlighten the public about this often forgotten subject, preferably in the form of a mock informative guide or something.
From Matt Melvin, one of the creators of Explosm.net and the hit online comic Cyanide & Happiness, comes Dracula Is A Racist, the definitive guide to vampires, answering those gravely important questions that keep you up at night. . .
Was Dracula really a racist?
How do vampires do their hair if they don't have any reflection?
Is it gross for immortals to be attracted to high school girls if they're stuck in a 17-year-old body?
Was Sesame Street ever truly safe from The Count?
Is dressing in all black and acting snobby toward everyone enough to fake being a vampire?
Just how much more badass are vampires than zombies?
Dracula Is A Racist is the essential vampire handbook that digs up all the dirt and backs it up with hard vampirical evidence. That's totally true. Really.
Matt Melvin is a 25-year-old T-shirt aficionado and sideburn enthusiast. Along with three other dudes, he runs Explosm.net, a pretty awesome website full of awesome things. When not adding even more filth to the Internet, he enjoys criticizing and complaining about movies, listening to music and inventing obscure types of niche sexual acts. He currently lives in San Diego. He is very tall."
208 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
December 18, 2013
What a funny and weird book. I loved every minute of it. Some of the ideas were just so absolutely ridiculous I laughed out loud. I think it’s pretty obvious that this book is in no way intended to be taken seriously, but I’m sure that some people will still be butt hurt over its stupidity. It’s meant to be stupid and funny, people need to relax and remember how to take a joke. Some people seem to think that everything must be taken seriously and everything is offensive. I think those people are just looking for something to complain about and should be ignored to the fullest extent.
If you are easily offended, please don’t bother reading this book. There is every type of stereotypically offensive joke made. This book is the opposite of politically correct so if your race, sex, creed, mental capabilities, sexual orientation, or fashion sense are easily offended, please don’t read this book. Only people with a healthy and twisted sense of humor could possibly enjoy this book. Thank goodness I am one of those people!
I enjoyed the crap out of this book. I really did. There are so many funny spots! There is a reference to how Count Chocula came to exist as a vampire and how his cereal came to be. There are little snippets of interesting historical lessons as well. Some of which, while not widely known, are in fact true. Much is not, but it’s still fun to think it could be if vampires were real. Such as, can you guess which US President was a vampire? I had no idea before reading this, but now that I have, it kind of makes sense.
Dracula is a Racist highlights many of the stereotypical vampire mythology as well as mentions quite a few vampire themed pop culture references. This includes books, music, movies, tv shows and even video games. Everything from becoming a vampire to killing them is mentioned. The illustrations in this book are pretty funny. My favorite was the one about “Gaydar”.
The first half of Dracula is a Racist is a bit funnier than the 2nd half, but the 2nd half still holds its own. I shouldn’t have to say this but everything in this book is fiction. People need to use their imaginations more. Vampires aren’t real either. Just putting that out there in case you missed that memo.
I would recommend this book to anyone who shares my dark sense of twisted humor, can take a joke and doesn’t easily confuse the worlds of imagination verses reality. I might recommend it to a few sensitive people just for fun to see their reaction, but that’s just one example of my sense of humor.
If you are easily offended, please don’t bother reading this book. There is every type of stereotypically offensive joke made. This book is the opposite of politically correct so if your race, sex, creed, mental capabilities, sexual orientation, or fashion sense are easily offended, please don’t read this book. Only people with a healthy and twisted sense of humor could possibly enjoy this book. Thank goodness I am one of those people!
I enjoyed the crap out of this book. I really did. There are so many funny spots! There is a reference to how Count Chocula came to exist as a vampire and how his cereal came to be. There are little snippets of interesting historical lessons as well. Some of which, while not widely known, are in fact true. Much is not, but it’s still fun to think it could be if vampires were real. Such as, can you guess which US President was a vampire? I had no idea before reading this, but now that I have, it kind of makes sense.
Dracula is a Racist highlights many of the stereotypical vampire mythology as well as mentions quite a few vampire themed pop culture references. This includes books, music, movies, tv shows and even video games. Everything from becoming a vampire to killing them is mentioned. The illustrations in this book are pretty funny. My favorite was the one about “Gaydar”.
The first half of Dracula is a Racist is a bit funnier than the 2nd half, but the 2nd half still holds its own. I shouldn’t have to say this but everything in this book is fiction. People need to use their imaginations more. Vampires aren’t real either. Just putting that out there in case you missed that memo.
I would recommend this book to anyone who shares my dark sense of twisted humor, can take a joke and doesn’t easily confuse the worlds of imagination verses reality. I might recommend it to a few sensitive people just for fun to see their reaction, but that’s just one example of my sense of humor.
July 27, 2010
This book was a quick lunch hour read... it was funny... the pictures were great.. and it made a great day for myself and fellow co-workers.. and just so you know... Vlad the Impailer used to impail his kids on steaks when they would talk back to him...lol... just great
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November 15, 2016This was awful in a fun way. There was very little reality involved in the writing of this book. The why you should read this was what brought me to purchase the book. That didn't live up to the guts. Good thing I got it on discount. Wasn't worth the full book price.
September 15, 2011
Vampire fans shouls get a kick of this silly guide to vampires. I loved the pop culture comments and footnotes. And all the comparing Vampires > Zombies was amazing.
January 28, 2012
Hilarious and snarky. Anyone who loves vampires has to read this book. =)
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February 3, 2012This book was just plain weird, but I have to admit it had me laughing pretty hard.
June 17, 2012
Really funny and quick read. Definitely very tongue in cheek.
November 15, 2019
A hilarious book about vampires. The author pretty much sums it up in the following:
"...the most powerful item in your arsenal is not a stake or a clove of garlic, but a mock informative guide on vampires filled to the brim with fluff. Lots and lots of fluff."
Quite an entertaining and short read for adults filled with pop culture references.
"...the most powerful item in your arsenal is not a stake or a clove of garlic, but a mock informative guide on vampires filled to the brim with fluff. Lots and lots of fluff."
Quite an entertaining and short read for adults filled with pop culture references.
March 6, 2019
Sometimes, you just need to read something that is completely off the wall and humorous, without any real substance.
February 18, 2020
Just a fun laugh out loud quick read! It is snarky, werid in a great way and just fun. Highly recommend!
August 29, 2021
Had Author pushed a little bit more to be funny, he would get hemorrhoids.
We get it, he doesn't like zombies.
We get it, he doesn't like zombies.
July 22, 2016
From one of the authors of Cyanide & Happiness. A useful guide about various aspects of the Vampire species. Interesting case in point about advantages of being a vampire instead a zombie. Quite entertaining.
September 8, 2014
Love the Explosm guys, love this book.
April 15, 2011
Mildly amusing.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews