Follow the Model: Miss J's Guide to Unleashing Presence, Poise, and Power

by J. Alexander

AN EMPOWERING, NO-NONSENSE GUIDE TO LIVING THE MISS J WAY—FULLY AND FABULOUSLY!

HOW does a six-foot-four, Bronx-born black gay male become Queen of the Catwalk? In one attitude. Beloved by millions of fans for his outrageous wit and irrepressible flair, J. Alexander has primed hundreds of wannabe models on America’s Next Top Model and coached such supermodels as Tyra Banks, Naomi Campbell, and Kimora Lee with inspiring advice that applies far beyond the catwalk.

AS witheringly funny in print as he is in person, Miss J recounts a remarkable career in high fashion that began with creating couture knockoffs on his grandmother’s sewing machine. He reveals his secrets to succeeding at what you love most, shares life lessons and colorful (to say the least) anecdotes, provides a multitude of invaluable grooming and style tips, dishes on the celebrities he’s worked with so intimately, and offers a glimpse into the world of ANTM . Not everyone is born to be a supermodel, but every woman can acquire confidence, self-esteem, and the determination to realize her dreams. You’ve got to want it, work it, and walk it—and Miss J will show you how.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Fashion, LGBT, Memoir, Autobiography

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

About the author

There is more than one author with this name on Goodreads.

Reviews

[Petra X · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got a message asking if Miss J's ancestors were Jewish? It doesn't take much working out does it with a name like Sadie Cohen? His great grandmother was Jewish. Actually the message was more like ghetto boy/Jews can't be true.... Why not? I'm Jewish and was married to a Black guy, true he was more from a political than ghetto family, but same difference.
_____

This book is dedicated to:

My late grandmother, Sadie Grant Cohen Carter, who taught me the value of a dollar and allowed me to use her sewing machine pre-drag.

Who gave birth to my late mother, Mary Elizabeth Cohen Jenkins, who gave birth to me and allowed me to be post-drag.

And, finally, to my late father, Julius Montrolius Jenkins, who saw the vision before I did and said, "Boy, you are so damn crazy. If I was rich I would put you on TV"

Well, Pops, I'm on TV. And it cost you nothing, just your support.

I remember Miss J from America's Next Top Model, and he's not at all that not-very-bright camp judge. (He says of the lines he was fed that it was as if a white boy was writing what he thought a gay black man would say.) Rather, he's a hard working professional, a clever man, married with a child, and a lot of friends who gave him good advice, which he passes on in real life and to us with his wonderful, if too brief, book.

Definitely a 10-star read. This is thoroughly enjoyable memoir by a very interesting and introspective man. The help tips are more helpful than any I ever found in Self Help books. The self-esteem tips were helpful. I learned how to walk like a model in one page and it really makes a difference.

[MrsJoseph *grouchy* · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly, I don't watch ANTM - though I have caught an episode here or there throughout the years. I know who Miss J is but I only picked up Follow the Model after a friend read it.

Wow. I'm kinda crushing on J. Alexander now. He's amazingly strong and so comfortable in his skin That's a talent we all should have.

In the past I'd always thought of Miss J as one of the cunty girls that he appeared to be in ANTM. My Lifelong BFF is gay and my BF/Sister is a professional entertainer so I have had the pleasure (and sometimes the NOT pleasure, lol) of meeting and hanging out with some amazing Drag Queens and entertainers. I know Queens who are crazy cunty and insulting... And I know Queens who are just amazing people with hearts full of love and you just ache for a moment of their attention. I was pleasantly surprised to learn how much J. Alexander seems to be the latter.

ETA: I don't think J. Alexander is a Drag Queen - I guess he's just a male model who prefers women's clothing?

I was surprised to learn that they were given lines for ANTM - and that Miss J was always known as J. Alexander and/or Alex until someone at ANTM gave him the Miss J moniker. So the person on TV (Miss J) is a different person than the professional J. Alexander - who is [more than likely] a different person than Alex.

I was also amazed at...how good J. Alexander keeps secrets! There is a lot to his life but not a lot showing in his book. You can see all the places where J. Alexander is keeping his mouth shut... O_O and while inquiring minds want to know, I can admit that not telling everything you know is a good quality.

All in all, this book is chock full of tips (even little greyed out footnotes I almost missed!!!) that everyone who is concerned about beauty and/or fashion want to know. And full of the amazing places an oddball kid can make it to when they follow their dreams, work hard and stay true to themselves.

[Juliette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I will publicly admit that I enjoy watching America's Next Top Model (ANTM), and get a total kick out of former ANTM judge J. Alexander, aka "Miss J". I found this PG rated memoir at my public library. Did you know Miss J used to live in a tiny apartment in Paris where one could "sit down, got to the bathroom, make a cup of tea, open the refrigerator, and take a shower all at once"? Neither did I! Picturing this 6'4" former model in this scenario creates quite a visual. Also, he has a lovely message about being a good person with kindness, compassion, and confidence. I imagine the target audience for this book is middle school or high school students, and think that's pretty sweet.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, but it definitely could have been much better written. I don't think it ever made up its mind what it was going to be, or decided what genre it fit into. I originally thought it was going to be more of a how-to guide for aspiring models, and then it turned into more of a memoir. Which is fine-he has had an interesting life-but I feel like it was very unorganized, and flitted from personal stories about his childhood to talking about the modeling industry to talking about Top Model to giving you life tips. If he was aiming for a memoir, he should have gone into each of these topics more in depth, and it should have been a longer book, or much more cohesive than it was. It also was not as funny as I expected it to be. But maybe that's because he mentions in his book that the writers of Top Model make him appear very flamboyant on the show and that that is not his real personality. Overall, an interesting book, but not one of the best.

[Jennifer Serenity · Rating 5 out of 5]

HEEE-LARIOUS!!

J. Alexander has a knack for making you laugh and learn at the same time. I read this book in about 2 hours and was mesmerized by his background and how he was able to break into the modeling industry. Despite the frustrations that he had dealing with racism in the fashion world, it definitely made him a stronger person.

This is a great read for a young reader and an adult. I was curious to read the book because I always crack a smile when I see Miss J on America's Top Model.

[Amy W · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't realise that this was published nearly 10 years ago -- when it popped up in my Amazon suggestions I thought it was a new release as I think I would have read it sooner had I known it existed. I also did not realise Miss J is now 60 years old! You would never know from his ongoing vitality and lust for life.

Alas, I was one of those who only knew Miss J as judge and runway coach from America's Next Top Model, but he'd had a long and interesting life before that. As ever, I enjoy reading about experiences totally outside my own life experience. Reading about his poor upbringing, entry into the New York party/drag scene and jetsetting model life was really interesting. Dare I say it seemed quite similar to RuPaul's early days...? (Yes, it seems the two of them have at least met as there is evidence online. I don't know if they are friends or competitors though...)

I wish the book had gone into it all in a little more depth. As autobiographies go, 240 pages is pretty brief. Each bit of life story was interspersed with some semi-related fashion/lifestyle tips such as dressing for success, ignoring the haters and so on. If you took away these sections the book would be even shorter, which I think is a real shame.

Oh well, it seems like this is the best we're going to get and I did enjoy it, but not the best autobiog I've ever read.

[Brandi Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a fun and interesting book! It has all the personality I loved from Miss J when I used to watch America’s Next Top Model. Plus, there’s even a lot of valuable advice and wisdom throughout the book. But it still manages to be lighthearted and highly entertaining. In my opinion, it’s more of an autobiography than a guide but I still had a blast reading it and finished it in one day.❤️👍👍

[Meg Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have two hours to spare, this book is a great read from a fabulous, unconvential role model. J. Alexander (Miss J to ANTM fans) talks about his childhood in the South Bronx, his evolution into a club kid and 6'6" cross dressing model to runway coach and America's Next Top Model judge. Along the way, he imparts beauty tips, self-esteem boosters, and advice on how to become the person you want to be. Loved it.

[Carlos · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Follow the Model" is an interesting, "quick read", mainly aimed at a young-adult audience. The book is a bit incoherent, jumping from topics that range from: beauty tips, non-chronological life events, health and stress management tips, all mixed in with a dash of "Miss Jay's" personal humor that we all know and love. If you have two hours to take a step into the life of a personable and admirable fashion icon, I recommend this book.

[Abby · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun autobiography of a gay black man into fashion and models growing up in the 70's New York up until now as he is part of the fashion elite. Though this had little bits of "advice" sprinkled throughout, it really was the story of the struggle and prejudice he li.ed through with tenacity and grace,

[Aspasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Miss J of America's Next Top Model fame talks about his family and career in the modeling industry. Each chapter has a quick beauty tip in fine print, while Miss J gives advice on how to handle oneself in life.

[Paula · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was ok. I used to watch America's Next Top Model for the first 4-6 seasons so I was intrigued to read this book by Miss J. He's lived an interesting life. My only complaint is that I find with memoirs like these (it's technically not a memoir but in a way it is as he uses his life to get across his message) is that the author always has to paint themselves in the most flattering light. For example he talks about how he was in love with a married man but at one point he then mentions he has an ex wife. I assume the man was married to a woman and cheated on her with Miss J. He kinda ignored that he was making a huge mistake getting involved with this man and breaking up a marriage. Yes that marriage was probably based on lies but cheating on your spouse is always wrong. Then he gets upset about how it ended and that he learned that his partner was cheating on him. Honey, if they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.

He was a regular at the Studio 54 and we all know there was a lot of debauchery going on there but he made it seem like it was innocent. I'm sure there was a lot of dirty stuff he was a part of or at least witnessed. Maybe he didn't write about it because he just doesn't identify with the lifestyle anymore. I don't know. It made me wonder what is he hiding.

J paints himself as a passionate man that loves the fashion world and is dedicated to the industry. He advice is fairly common and nothing revolutionary. There really is nothing in this book for a middle age woman on how to unleash presence, poise, and power. I feel like maybe a young teen would find this more empowering. Again I was curious to read it and found it entertaining. What a charmed life he lead.

The other issue was how they had these text boxes thrown in the middle of the chapter. A chapter would have 3-4 of these side bars and I found them really annoying because they put them in the middle of the story. Why do publishes do this? Put these side bars where there are natural pauses. I had to go back to read them or if I stopped to read them, it would break the momentum of the story. To me all publishers should stop doing this nonsense.

Overall it was a nice, light read.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Miss J and ANTM is my guilty pleasure. That being said, did Miss J even read what his ghost writer wrote here? A lot of this "advice" either negates itself later in the book, or is very damaging on a young mind. At one point, he mentions exercise to help boost productivity (a great point, and good advice) but the way he delivers it makes it about body image, and fitting into your "skinny pants". He then later says, "if you're in High School" meaning he knows young impressionable minds will read this. Why couldn't he have simply said that exercise is healthy for you and can boost your brain? Why did he have to mention fitting into your skinny pants? Ew. Very cringe to read. I also hated the little notes in the middle of the main body of the text. My ADHD brain cannot handle that.

[Louisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book up at a bookstore going out of business sale because I've watched every cycle of ANTM and I think J. Alexander is the funniest judge. It's been awhile since I bought the book but I finally got the chance to read it when I stared at my bookshelf and said, "What would be fun to read?"

I AM SO GLAD I FINALLY READ THIS BOOK. Learning more about J's past was fascinating because as a fan of ANTM, I didn't really know how he became a runway coach. I also found his advice awe-inspiring and I marked several pages with quotes that I really liked.

A read I really enjoyed. Definitely one I will read again.

[Rain · Rating 3 out of 5]

I sort of found this poorly written. Or something about it failed to really captivate my attention. I found myself skimming through the second half to get through it. I really like J. Alexander though, I think his story is pretty interesting and inspiring for all different kinds of people. It was interesting to see a whole other side to J. that I didn't know existed. He's much more real and relatable than TV portrayed him to be. It was interesting to learn some things about ANTM that I NEVER knew. Would of liked better if there was more beauty/fashion tips from him bcos I LOVE his look.

[Thalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun, quick read.

[Tammy T · Rating 3 out of 5]

This read just as you would expect Miss J. would sound. Filled with memories, experiences and some surprises there is also a bunch of very sound advice.

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

He’s a lovely person and it was nice to learn more about him.

[Kelsey Lauren Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read!

It was an entertaining read for anyone wanting to get to know Miss J and I definitely recommend this book!

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Strong as His Walk

This book is amazing. I read it all in one go, laughing and nodding as I went. J Alexander is, not surprisingly, strong, straightforward, and a seemingly wonderful individual. Individual being the key word. He has lived his life the way he wanted from day one. His story is inspiring, his advice is common sense and real. He is also funny as heck.

I highlighted several sections of his words of wisdom that I know I'll refer back to. You read it and wonder how you didn't already know this. That's what makes it so great. I would love to be his friend, what a positive, honest, and transformative effect he would have!

I wish nothing but the best for this man and I hope he finds peace and joy for the rest of his days. I think I'll go walk the nearest runway (ok, hallway) and work on my strut.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easily one of the best autobiography/memoirs I've ever read! Authentic, wise and honest. There is not one dull page in this book. J. knows how to keep the momentum going even while discussing a whole range of topics from beauty tips to business anecdotes and life lessons, it's entertaining from start to finish.

I feel like I've gotten to know J. a loooot more from this book, it gives you a good sense of his character, beliefs and background. I admire J. Typically, my eyes glaze over tips from memoirs because they're often no-brainers or just cheesy but I genuinely believe this book has a lot to offer -especially if you're a little different from the crowd you're in.

Such an easy, pleasant read. Thank you, J.

[Teddie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is funny in parts and contains lots of tips. You do not get a whole lot of information about Miss J. But lots of beauty, modeling, and self esteem tips. And if you are looking for lots of info about ANTM don't buy this book very little about the show. I would recommend this book to teenagers or people wanting a career as a model.

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Miss J, so I came into this a little biased. Lots of fun tips and tricks from someone who is not just successful, but trumpets the same ideas of unique fashion as I do. Super cool. Terrible layout, though! Dozens of sentences interrupted on a page-turn to a three page insert on how to pronounce designer names? NO THANKS.

[Crystal Chm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book which is why it's getting a 5/5 from me (plus I'm a big fan of ANTM!). I expected a bunch of fluff from the book about ANTM, but it contained some good advice and the show was only mentioned a short bit. What stood out is his message of accepting who you are and having self confidence.

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a biased Miss J fan, but his voice was very entertaining. The layout was a huge pain in the ass, with sentences constantly interrupted by 2-3 page random bits about pronouncing designer names right and stuff.

[Cvedder · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really hoping this book would be funny but it wasn't really. I was surprised to find it in the self help section but turns out it was pretty fitting. Not bad but not at all what I was expecting.

[Ny'ilah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought it was funny and a good easy read. If you love ANTM and Miss. J then you will love that he is talking to you about his first love, FASHION! I even learned a few tricks too.

[Karlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

a peice of fluff, but surprisingly delightful. Ms Jay is 4 real and offers good advice on life

[Sherri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is just a great memior. He is very honest and open. This is not a book about Top Model. This is a book about himself, his past, and how is got where he is today.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fast Read, although it was little boring.