Teta, Mother, and Me: Three Generations of Arab Women

by Jean Said Makdisi

Rich in warmth and insight, a personal and cultural history of three generations of Arab women. In this "beautifully written memoir" ( Publishers Weekly ), Jean Said Makdisi illuminates a century of Arab life and history through the stories of her mother, Hilda Musa Said, and her Teta, "Granny" Munira Badr Musa. Against the backdrop of the fall of the Ottoman Empire, the rise of Arab nationalism, the founding of Israel, the Suez crisis, the Arab-Israeli wars, and civil war in Beirut, she reveals the extraordinary courage of these ordinary women, while rethinking the notions of "traditional" and "modern," "East" and "West." With a loving eye, acute intelligence, and elegant, impassioned prose, Makdisi has written "much more than a memoir," rather "an embrace of history and culture" ( Cleveland Plain Dealer ). 16 pages

Genres: Nonfiction, Middle East, Lebanon, Biography Memoir, History, Memoir, Contemporary

416 pages, Paperback

First published November 1, 2004

About the author

Jean Said Makdisi was born in Jerusalem and studied in Cairo and the United States. She is the author of Beirut Fragments: A War Memoir, a New York Times Notable Book. She lives in Beirut.

(from http://books.wwnorton.com/books/Autho...)

Reviews

[Sithara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting, honest insight from the author about her life, the life of her mother and the life of her grand-mother.

However, at times it felt over-analyzed, as if the author was desperately trying to make sense of varied and disparate events in her live and the life of her family - the book was at its best when the author 'let go' and just told us stories of her, her mother and her 'Teta.'

[Rukshana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was referred to her memoir, Beirut Fragments, but picked up this biography instead when I saw it at the library where I work.

This book is beautifully and honestly written, and contains many details of Said's mother's and grandmother's lives. I can only wish that I had access to some of the materials she used in writing this book for my mother and grandmother, such as her mother's journal and very old photos.

Said examines her mother's and grandmother's lives with compassion, discovering depth in their lives that she had never known of before. She contemplates the tensions between "traditional" and "modern," and public and private space, specifically as they relate to women's lives, with great complexity. She laments the time that this entire generation, including herself, spent in the domestic sphere, but recognizes that they were all products and shapers of a move toward "modernity" in their particular historical and social contexts.

Said refers frequently to her position as an educated, middle class, urban, cosmopolitan woman, thereby reminding the reader of the perspective (a very nuanced one!) of the various events and issues she comments on in the almost 400 pages (!) of this biography.

I must admit that I skipped over several sections due to the sheer length of the book, feeling very guilty for failing to read her very beautiful prose.

I enjoy reading intergenerational stories, and I definitely recommend this one. Also an interesting way to learn about the background of Edward Said, an intellectual who I greatly admire. In fact, my interest in Edward Said led me to this book written by his sister.

[Sidney Luckett · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very detailed account of the lives of three generations of Arab women (the author is the third) mostly lived in turbulent times of the Levant. Gives an interesting insight into the political and religious context in which the women lived and how it affected them as women. There were for me, a westerner with a fairly stereotyped view of the position of women in Arab society, some surprising revelations

At times I got a bit bored with all the detail, however when it touched on issues that I am interested in, I found it very valuable - so I have mixed feelings about the detail

[Cami · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book seemed interesting in concept, but the end-product didn't measure up to my expectations. The writing is alright, but it jumps back and forth, confusing and losing my interest most of the time. She gives very little political background, and therefore, I feel I don't have a better understanding of families during these conflicts. As a memoir and life-sketch, it was good. It just didn't capture my attention.

[Spellbind Consensus]

* **Three Generations of Arab Women**
The memoir traces the lives of Jean Said Makdisi, her mother Hilda Musa Said, and her grandmother Munira Badr Musa (Teta). It explores how each woman’s experiences reflect the changes and continuities in Palestinian and Arab womanhood over the 20th century.

* **Cultural and Historical Context**
The book is set against the backdrop of Palestine, Lebanon, and the wider Arab world, chronicling key historical moments such as the Nakba, regional wars, and political upheavals that shape the family’s history and personal identities.

* **Family Legacy and Personal Memory**
Makdisi reconstructs her family history through personal anecdotes, letters, and memories, emphasizing the importance of storytelling in preserving cultural heritage and female resilience.

* **Women’s Roles and Resistance**
The memoir highlights how the women navigated patriarchal structures while asserting their strength, education, and independence. It portrays Teta as a pillar of wisdom and tradition, her daughter as a bridge to modernity, and Jean herself as a voice for contemporary Arab women.

* **Intimate Portraits and Emotional Depth**
Jean Said Makdisi offers detailed, affectionate portraits of each woman, revealing their complexities, conflicts, and enduring love. The book delves into personal struggles such as exile, loss, identity, and the search for belonging.

* **Themes of Displacement and Identity**
The memoir explores the impact of displacement on the family, how political conflict intertwines with personal lives, and the quest to maintain identity amidst loss and upheaval.

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### Tone and Writing Style

* **Tone:** Warm, reflective, and heartfelt
* **Style:** Clear, narrative, and richly descriptive, blending memoir with historical context
* The accessible and evocative prose supports the memoir’s themes of memory, family, and cultural continuity by engaging readers emotionally and intellectually.

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### Author’s Qualifications

* **Jean Said Makdisi** is a Palestinian scholar, writer, and professor with extensive experience in Middle Eastern studies and women's issues.
* Her scholarly background and personal heritage provide depth and authenticity to the memoir’s exploration of Palestinian history, women’s experiences, and cultural identity.
* Makdisi’s role as an educator and activist enhances her ability to link individual narratives with broader social and political themes.

[بيسان | bissane · Rating 4 out of 5]

"As I read and worked, I arrived at a complex re-reading of the condition of women, not a simplifying one. It was as though I had viewed the lives of my ancestresses through a prism, whose many sides were composed of my life, my thoughts, my view of history and feminism. This prism, instead of clarifying the light, analysed it, showing me the various hues of its composition. The illusion of the whiteness and oneness of the light has been lost for ever to me: instead I see always in front of me a rainbow of hues, changing, changeable, beautiful, elusive."

"Over the largest fork in the road ahead, however, like a gigantic neon sign on a highway, lighting the alternative directions from far away, flashes the dichotomy: 'traditional' and 'modern'. So pervasive is the discussion of this set of alternatives, so ubiquitous is it in all debates over women's issues, and particularly Arab women's issues, that its truth seems inevitable and absolute." But what was a 'tradition' ? What does it mean to be traditional? What is 'modern' liberty?

" But in the 'traditions' of the Arab world, the association of women was a way of life. If there were some places which were forbidden to women, there were others which were forbidden to men. In the Arab-Muslim tradition women always kept their maiden names; Muslim sharia always allowed women to own property and run their own financial affairs. It was the 'modern' nation-state, modelled on the Western institution, which demanded the registration of unified family names, restricted the independent economic activity of women, and legislated their secondary status."

[Susan Janneck]

Very educational. Great learning reading about the generations of Arab women and mindsets.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any story about Palestinian women is relevant to my life...

[Mackenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this generational story telling, wish there was more in depth historical account

[Manon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yet another Middle Eastern woman who has decided to write a book just because she knows it will sell...
This book is dull and irrelevant at best. The author's main claim to fame seems to be that she's related to Edward Said. The story about her grandmother starts out relatively interesting (until you realize that most of it is extrapolated from sketchy information) but it seems as though the Said women become increasingly less interesting as the generations go on.

For those who insist on reading this work, please don't assume that this is "the life of the Arab woman". This woman is absurdly rich, and no matter how much she complains about losing her homeland and her servants and hating Washington DC, etc, etc, she is part of a social class that has nothing to do with the vast majority of Middle Eastern women. "the life of the Arab woman" is rich, complex, and diverse, and you can't get a hollistic idea of what it means by reading a single biography, even though it claims to tell the lives of three different women.

Several reviewers have mentioned that Makdisi tries to analyze the role of women, etc. and I want to add to this that she fails completely in this task. I don't see how she can claim to do this when she admits that she never conducted any long interviews with her mother and grandmother before they died, and never knew their story from their lips.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this memoir, the author looks at the lives of her grandmother, mother, and herself to see women's changing roles in the Arab world over a century. She begins with her grandmother's birth in the Syrian-Lebanese area of the Ottoman Empire in the late 19th century. She tells the story of her grandmother's mission schooling, marriage, and family life. Her mother, born around the time of the First World War, goes to Cairo during the 1930s, and then is unable to return to Jerusalem, where her family had lived for many years. The author ends up in Beirut, living there during the long Lebanese civil war.

The book is an excellent history, and provides a lot of detail about missions and mission schooling in the Middle East in the 19th and 20th centuries. It also provides a window into the experiences of the Christian population of the Middle East. Overall, the book is very well researched, but I thought the author descends into academic jargon quite a bit, which was a distraction from a very interesting story.

[Mohamed Ahmed · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 Stars , I Like it

it Was a Nice and Long Journey it took Me to finish this Book, I enjoyed a big Part of it However in other Parts i felt it is Boring and Give More space to some Points than it should.

This Book will take u to a journey Through Some Arab Cultures and thinking and Events Through the Life of a Grand Mother a Mother and a Daughter , it will Take u From before the 20th century And Through it , it Will Take u Through Some Major City in Arab World ( Specially Middle East ) and it Will Put u in the picture With Great Details of What Happened , What Changed .
This Book is Full Of Joy , Happiness , Sorrow , Loss , Life , Death , Success and Much More .
Recommended if U Like Culture and interested In Middle East Life.

[Merrie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really enjoyed parts of this book (using personal histories to make Syrian/Palestinian/Egyptian/Lebanese history real), and found some were a drag or even annoying (when she's trying to show her academic chops). Given that Edward Said's writings had a big impact on me in college, it was ironic that I picked up a book by his sister about their family history.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed learning about the culture, but I had a hard time getting through the pure history parts. I admit, when book club came and I still hadn't finished, I just returned it back to the library. Very interesting though.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book because it was a wonderful paradigm shift for me to know about the lives of three Arab, Christian women living in Palestine and Lebanon in the midst of war. It is a wonderful discovery of understanding one's ancestors and finding yourself in them.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

The true story of three Arab women coming of age in the 20th Century Middle East.

[Debbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An autobiograpical look at three generations of Arab women. Recommended by Kirsten who read it for a class at Harvard.

[Sarah Stapley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book for a class I took and college and although it was a slow read I definitely enjoyed it.