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The Day I Became an Autodidact and the Advice, Adventures, and Acrimonies That Befell Me Thereafter
Kendall Hailey, an avid reader and the daughter of two writers, seems the girl most likely to go to college, but one summer, on receiving a mandatory reading list from her high school, she decides to sidestep formal education. She graduates early and at age sixteen begins her own course of self-education.
Her extraordinary family -- "a father, a mother (not too odd yet), a younger sister (getting odder), a grandmother (approaching the bend), and an uncle (already around it)" -- demand neither college nor a job. Not only are they satisfied to have her at home, they are thrilled by her decision.
Her college-bound friends, however, are convinced she's lost the chance for a productive life, and there are days when she thinks they are right. But when halfway through college many of her friends still have no idea what they want to do with their lives and speak of going on to graduate school, Kendall knows she is on the right track.
Her reading ranges from great novels to hits of the Broadway state to Greek and Roman classics to Beowulf himself. She learns to drive a car, writes a play ("a screwball comedy"), a mystery, and a novel. She discovers she could be a talented actress but not too great a painter. She travels with her family; she spends hours on the phone with her boyfriend Matthew; she watches as her father struggles with an illness; she comes to terms with her mother. The glimpses she gets of college life, through her friend Julie's letters, cause her no regrets. She's autodidactic to the core.
This captivating, refreshing book shows a young writer's quest to remain true to bedrock values as she makes the complicated journey of growing up in an unusual family.
Kendall Hailey is the oldest daughter of playwright Oliver Hailey and novelist Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey. She lives in California with her family.
Her extraordinary family -- "a father, a mother (not too odd yet), a younger sister (getting odder), a grandmother (approaching the bend), and an uncle (already around it)" -- demand neither college nor a job. Not only are they satisfied to have her at home, they are thrilled by her decision.
Her college-bound friends, however, are convinced she's lost the chance for a productive life, and there are days when she thinks they are right. But when halfway through college many of her friends still have no idea what they want to do with their lives and speak of going on to graduate school, Kendall knows she is on the right track.
Her reading ranges from great novels to hits of the Broadway state to Greek and Roman classics to Beowulf himself. She learns to drive a car, writes a play ("a screwball comedy"), a mystery, and a novel. She discovers she could be a talented actress but not too great a painter. She travels with her family; she spends hours on the phone with her boyfriend Matthew; she watches as her father struggles with an illness; she comes to terms with her mother. The glimpses she gets of college life, through her friend Julie's letters, cause her no regrets. She's autodidactic to the core.
This captivating, refreshing book shows a young writer's quest to remain true to bedrock values as she makes the complicated journey of growing up in an unusual family.
Kendall Hailey is the oldest daughter of playwright Oliver Hailey and novelist Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey. She lives in California with her family.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1988
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
June 20, 2007
This was an incredibly interesting book that I enjoyed far more than I initially thought I would. The premise is simple, teenager Kendall Hailey is highly dissatisfied about being told what to learn so decides to take control of her own education. What follows is a scattered journal illustrating the various approaches she takes toward becoming a fully literate person. Coming from a family of writers, her mother a novelist and her father a playwright, literature and writing seem to come as second nature to her and she enthusiastically devours the densest ancient histories along with the most frivolous of plays.
As an example of how self-education can work for one privileged white woman, "The Day I Became An Autodidact" is perfect. Kendall is (and should be) held up as a model for the de-schooling community. What this book does not offer, though, is a description of how self-learning can be accomplished by someone who is not gifted with well-off parents with a winter home in England. There are no tips for how to balance personal studies with the obligations of a job because she doesn't have to. As a member of the working class trying to chart my own educational path at the same time as I try to gather funds to make a rent payment or do my laundry, descriptions of days spent lounging in a chair devouring an obscure work grate on me. I can easily admit that this is jealousy poking its head from under the rug where I normally hide it, but the fact remains: the self-learning movement needs to move away from this pie in the sky ivory tower approach to education as illustrated in the book and flesh out a means for the working class to chart their own development. Not all of us have country estates, and I would love to find an autodidact that does not rely on that wealth to exist.
As an example of how self-education can work for one privileged white woman, "The Day I Became An Autodidact" is perfect. Kendall is (and should be) held up as a model for the de-schooling community. What this book does not offer, though, is a description of how self-learning can be accomplished by someone who is not gifted with well-off parents with a winter home in England. There are no tips for how to balance personal studies with the obligations of a job because she doesn't have to. As a member of the working class trying to chart my own educational path at the same time as I try to gather funds to make a rent payment or do my laundry, descriptions of days spent lounging in a chair devouring an obscure work grate on me. I can easily admit that this is jealousy poking its head from under the rug where I normally hide it, but the fact remains: the self-learning movement needs to move away from this pie in the sky ivory tower approach to education as illustrated in the book and flesh out a means for the working class to chart their own development. Not all of us have country estates, and I would love to find an autodidact that does not rely on that wealth to exist.
February 27, 2013
I consider myself an autodidact (a self-taught person.) I dropped out of college midway and decided to learn what I wanted to learn by reading books. When Kendall Hailey's 1988 memoir came across my radar, I had to check it out.
I whizzed through the first half, delighting in Hailey's open minded parents (her father a playwright, her mother the author of the backlist classic, A Woman of Independent Means.) Along with her younger sister, they led a free-wheeling literary life of opening nights, book signing, and travel.
Kendall started her self education at the age of 16 by reading Will Durant's Life of Greece as well as most of the famous dramatists, philosophers, and historians from antiquity. She then went on to Caesar and Christ, Durant's history of Rome and its empire, then another reading list of ancient Romans. Boy, could I relate to that as I am doing a similar, though less thorough, study.
But about midway, the whole thing bogs down, becomes repetitive and loses its zing. Looking back on the reading experience a week or so later, I can see that the narrative arc went from cocky, self-determination to emotional dithering and then petered out.
In a recent interview on Book Riot, Ms Hailey comes across as breezy and contented, but I can't help thinking that she lost her courage at some point and settled for less than her 16-year-old dreams imagined. I know that happens to many dreamers, myself included, but I was looking for a heroine and didn't find one.
December 8, 2009
I read this book a very long time ago. Probably in the early 1990s. Something the actor, Terrence Howard said on TV the morning (12-8-09) about being "autodidactic' brought it back to mind. As I remember it, Kendall Hailey's book, 'The Day I Became an Autodidact' is a gem. Especially for avid readers.
Recommendation: All my goodreads friends are steeped in the art and love of reading and would probably enjoy this book.
Recommendation: All my goodreads friends are steeped in the art and love of reading and would probably enjoy this book.
September 18, 2022
Since Goodreads is missing it (as of 9/18/22), I'll quote the blurb from the back of the book first: "Autodidact[:] a self-taught person... In this captivating, refreshing book Kendall Hailey describes her efforts to overcome adolescence through self-education. Here is a talented young writer's quest to discover and remain true to bedrock values--intellectual, familial, and personal--as she makes the complicated but rewarding journey of growing up in a most unusual family."
My thoughts:
This was published in 1988, and I'm surprised it hasn't yet made a resurgence amid the growing opinion that higher education has abandoned open inquiry for dogma. One should know going in that this is the diary of a real teenage girl (with the occasional content issues one might expect therefrom), but a very funny and insightful teenage girl who is also wise beyond her years. As a reader and a teacher myself, I loved seeing her fall in love with the great books for their own sakes, rather than because anyone was telling her to. Kendall also has some amazing perspectives on the creative life as she strives to enter the writing and acting worlds, and on life in general as she approaches it with all the zeal and optimism a fifteen-to-nineteen-year-old emancipated from formal education can muster.
My one quibble, however, is that her unique situation of living with parents who do NOT require her to move out or support herself makes following in her footsteps more difficult for anyone who may be inspired to do so; of course, one can (and should) still become a part-time autodidact regardless of circumstance.
I would recommend this book for older high schoolers (perhaps to their parents' chagrin) or anyone who cares about literary pursuits, theater, or the true purpose of education.
A few favorite quotes:
"Sometimes I just walk--no, storm--around the house, aching with all the things I want to do. I want time to move fast and yet I want it to stand still. Actually, I want to move fast and make the world stand still. When I'm not obsessed by the feeling that I was born too late, I know I was born just in time. Just in time to catch hold of my favorite era. And in some way connect myself with it forever. I just want to take the world and shake it and wring it until I get everything I want from it. In case you've forgotten, I'm still a seventeen-year-old who has not yet come to grips with that fact."
"When I could read the Romantics without emotion in school and be moved to tears by Hemingway reading him all alone, I find it hard to imagine returning to a classroom. When I can get up in the morning and think about my play as opposed to the tortures of P.E., I know that the life I want is here... I know that, having tasted freedom, I could never set foot in school again."
"[Virgil] wrote the Aeneid to keep the faint wraiths of history alive... I think the intensity of how alive we ourselves are is measured by how many live on within us."
My thoughts:
This was published in 1988, and I'm surprised it hasn't yet made a resurgence amid the growing opinion that higher education has abandoned open inquiry for dogma. One should know going in that this is the diary of a real teenage girl (with the occasional content issues one might expect therefrom), but a very funny and insightful teenage girl who is also wise beyond her years. As a reader and a teacher myself, I loved seeing her fall in love with the great books for their own sakes, rather than because anyone was telling her to. Kendall also has some amazing perspectives on the creative life as she strives to enter the writing and acting worlds, and on life in general as she approaches it with all the zeal and optimism a fifteen-to-nineteen-year-old emancipated from formal education can muster.
My one quibble, however, is that her unique situation of living with parents who do NOT require her to move out or support herself makes following in her footsteps more difficult for anyone who may be inspired to do so; of course, one can (and should) still become a part-time autodidact regardless of circumstance.
I would recommend this book for older high schoolers (perhaps to their parents' chagrin) or anyone who cares about literary pursuits, theater, or the true purpose of education.
A few favorite quotes:
"Sometimes I just walk--no, storm--around the house, aching with all the things I want to do. I want time to move fast and yet I want it to stand still. Actually, I want to move fast and make the world stand still. When I'm not obsessed by the feeling that I was born too late, I know I was born just in time. Just in time to catch hold of my favorite era. And in some way connect myself with it forever. I just want to take the world and shake it and wring it until I get everything I want from it. In case you've forgotten, I'm still a seventeen-year-old who has not yet come to grips with that fact."
"When I could read the Romantics without emotion in school and be moved to tears by Hemingway reading him all alone, I find it hard to imagine returning to a classroom. When I can get up in the morning and think about my play as opposed to the tortures of P.E., I know that the life I want is here... I know that, having tasted freedom, I could never set foot in school again."
"[Virgil] wrote the Aeneid to keep the faint wraiths of history alive... I think the intensity of how alive we ourselves are is measured by how many live on within us."
September 18, 2009
Checked this book out on Tuesday evening and finished it last night. Very good read, and lots to think about. For some reason I thought that Kendall Hailey had decided to school herself for high school, but that isn't the case. What she decided to do was to graduate from high school a year early in order to become an "autodidact" -- a self-learner. She determined to educate herself instead of going to college. (Actually, her decision was based on a "required summer reading" list she received in the mail from her high school the summer after 10th grade; apparently that was the straw that broke the camel's back.) She wanted to be a writer, and as the child of a well-known playwright and a bestselling author, she was aware of how "being a writer" worked, and that it did not actually involve the credentials that college could give you.
So the book is a journal of the years that would "normally" correspond to senior year in high school and the first 2 years of college, and shows Kendall moving from a book-loving girl who mostly stays home to read (classics) and watch movies (also old classics) to a budding young playwright and actress. Included in the journal are letters from a high school friend (who also wants to write) who follows the standard path of high school to college. The contrast between Kendall and her friend is rather powerful by the end of the book, when her friend's father castigates his daughter for not living her life and "wouldn't you like to be more like Kendall?"... which I thought was terrifically unfair, as this poor girl was only doing everything she was "supposed" to do.
Reading this book has made me question my assumptions about college, particularly in the case of teens who may not need "credentials" in the future. In my own case, how much better would it have been if I could have spent my college years self-educating, writing, taking classes here and there in languages or maybe some sciences when I needed/wanted them, instead of heading straight for the 4 year degree and then accruing debt in my one year of grad school? I probably would have been better prepared to teach my kids.
And of course, there's a lot of food for thought here about the role of compulsion in education. Not everyone is as motivated and mature as Kendall is at 16, but there's a powerful case to be made by her book that being compelled to "learn" -- to read, in particular -- may not actually result in any learning at all. Instead, it seems to convince Kendall's contemporaries that all (or most) reading is boring.
So the book is a journal of the years that would "normally" correspond to senior year in high school and the first 2 years of college, and shows Kendall moving from a book-loving girl who mostly stays home to read (classics) and watch movies (also old classics) to a budding young playwright and actress. Included in the journal are letters from a high school friend (who also wants to write) who follows the standard path of high school to college. The contrast between Kendall and her friend is rather powerful by the end of the book, when her friend's father castigates his daughter for not living her life and "wouldn't you like to be more like Kendall?"... which I thought was terrifically unfair, as this poor girl was only doing everything she was "supposed" to do.
Reading this book has made me question my assumptions about college, particularly in the case of teens who may not need "credentials" in the future. In my own case, how much better would it have been if I could have spent my college years self-educating, writing, taking classes here and there in languages or maybe some sciences when I needed/wanted them, instead of heading straight for the 4 year degree and then accruing debt in my one year of grad school? I probably would have been better prepared to teach my kids.
And of course, there's a lot of food for thought here about the role of compulsion in education. Not everyone is as motivated and mature as Kendall is at 16, but there's a powerful case to be made by her book that being compelled to "learn" -- to read, in particular -- may not actually result in any learning at all. Instead, it seems to convince Kendall's contemporaries that all (or most) reading is boring.
June 2, 2016
I read this years ago, probably not long after it came out. A very smart but very accessible young person inspires you as she educates herself through reading. Unlike some other related books, this one is personal. You could experience with her the difference these books made in her life.
I still think about this book, almost like a talisman, and highly recommend it.
I still think about this book, almost like a talisman, and highly recommend it.
September 20, 2023
This book reads like a teenagers diary and for that and most of the content I was disappointed. What was she teaching herself? I can't help but wonder if her book was published because of 1. who her parents were at the time, because what has she done since then? and 2. all the name dropping she did in the book of who they were friends were. People who would have been termed has-beens. (a term of the time and the area)
She did come across as a typical spoiled child of certain areas in L.A., jetsetting to Paris, or England for summer vacation.
There were very few nuggets of good writing in the book that I found myself reading it just to finish it. One such nugget: pg262 I am writing about education and this is the first time I have mentioned the SAT's, which shows you exactly how much I think they have to do with education. However, they have too much to do with...college. (she was talking about her crush's ordeal with the SAT's).
This book would be good for teens.
She did come across as a typical spoiled child of certain areas in L.A., jetsetting to Paris, or England for summer vacation.
There were very few nuggets of good writing in the book that I found myself reading it just to finish it. One such nugget: pg262 I am writing about education and this is the first time I have mentioned the SAT's, which shows you exactly how much I think they have to do with education. However, they have too much to do with...college. (she was talking about her crush's ordeal with the SAT's).
This book would be good for teens.
July 8, 2020
If you have a high schooler at home because of school closures or you are the parent of a home school student, check out this title. A teenage girl educates herself through reading, observing and thought. What a concept!!!
January 30, 2016
A book about loving books, and finding what it takes to truly learn anything in this world. A delight.
March 30, 2017
I read this at the time one of my children was begging to be home-schooled. The idea intrigued me, and my work schedule at the time might just have made it possible, but in the end it didn't happen (and she had some fine teachers the next couple of years and I think was happy she had continued to go to school.) Anyway, I was reading a lot of books about home-schooling and in this case, self-schooling. One would wish that we might all become auto-didacts at some point -- whether in place of, or subsequent to, formal education. This book is worth reading if you are interested in the subject of self-education.
January 5, 2017
Edit in January 2017:
A reviewer commented on my review that the author isn't vapid, just naive, and that she isn't a moron either. It has been many years since I read this book, and I'm a lot older now. My statement that I wanted to go back in time to set the author on fire was meant to be understood hyperbolically, and not literally. Even so, in retrospect it does seem a bit extreme. I spent a fair amount of time trying my best to remember what pissed me off so much about this book. I think my real problem with the book is the way it has been talked about, rather than the actual content. This book is often discussed and recommended in unschooling circles, sometimes being recommended as a book to help hesitant parents be more open to unschooling ideas. Because of that, I had certain expectations about the book--namely, I expected it to be a compelling account of an alternative minded young woman's experiences unschooling herself. Instead I found it to be a personal memoir of a very privileged young white girl with moderately liberal parents. I found many of her comments (like "it's bad to be too unconventional") really gross, especially since this book is about educating oneself. Part of the appeal of the unschooling movement is that it allows different people to grow at a pace that works for them, while focusing on things they find personally rewarding and engaging. Part of the rational for that is that people are complex, different, and unique. Standardized schooling methods often crush people's spirits and forces them to conform to a one single idea of normativity and health. I therefore find any advocation of conformity to be a least a little contrary to the goals of unschooling. In addition, I stand by my statement that the author is vapid. As I mention in my original review, one of her friend writes her a letter complaining about having to return some clothes that had a hole in it, saying "everything that happens in her life is depressing". Sure, the writer is a teenager, but this goes back to my aforementioned comment that this author is extremely privileged. I'm annoyed by any person (even a teenager) who would say that everything that happens to them is depressing just because they have to return some clothes. That is, in fact, a vapid statement, so I stand by my criticism of it.
The TLDR version of my review:
I disliked the author and her viewpoints personally, and had expected to book to be a memoir of someone more complex, thoughtful, and intellectual. Given that this book is essentially a memoir, it's hard to like the memoir of someone you dislike. Also, I had been given falsely high expectations of the book, which is what roused my anger.
Original 2010 review:
Ugh. What vapid, vapid morons. The stupidity of the author, friends, and family members makes me want to set the book on fire. Hell, it makes me want to go back in time and set the author on fire. While this book is supposedly about self-education, it doesn't criticize the educational system, or give any real reasons for opting out, except that Hailey "doesn't want to go to college". Hailey, however, isn't exactly a non-conformist, as she often states that being too unconventional is "bad", as well as repeated comments about how "real" life is life defined by schedules, guidelines, due dates, etc, and that she, as an autodidact isn't living "real life". She also thoughtfully states on several occasions that "lack of college" does (blank) bad thing to you (makes you less ambitious, for example).
Here is a quote from a letter written by Kendall's best friend, Julie "I'm just depressing myself. I think I should change the subject. Today I'm going to Harvard square to exchange some stockings that I bought which came with a hole in them. My God, everything that happens to me is depressing." Deep.
A reviewer commented on my review that the author isn't vapid, just naive, and that she isn't a moron either. It has been many years since I read this book, and I'm a lot older now. My statement that I wanted to go back in time to set the author on fire was meant to be understood hyperbolically, and not literally. Even so, in retrospect it does seem a bit extreme. I spent a fair amount of time trying my best to remember what pissed me off so much about this book. I think my real problem with the book is the way it has been talked about, rather than the actual content. This book is often discussed and recommended in unschooling circles, sometimes being recommended as a book to help hesitant parents be more open to unschooling ideas. Because of that, I had certain expectations about the book--namely, I expected it to be a compelling account of an alternative minded young woman's experiences unschooling herself. Instead I found it to be a personal memoir of a very privileged young white girl with moderately liberal parents. I found many of her comments (like "it's bad to be too unconventional") really gross, especially since this book is about educating oneself. Part of the appeal of the unschooling movement is that it allows different people to grow at a pace that works for them, while focusing on things they find personally rewarding and engaging. Part of the rational for that is that people are complex, different, and unique. Standardized schooling methods often crush people's spirits and forces them to conform to a one single idea of normativity and health. I therefore find any advocation of conformity to be a least a little contrary to the goals of unschooling. In addition, I stand by my statement that the author is vapid. As I mention in my original review, one of her friend writes her a letter complaining about having to return some clothes that had a hole in it, saying "everything that happens in her life is depressing". Sure, the writer is a teenager, but this goes back to my aforementioned comment that this author is extremely privileged. I'm annoyed by any person (even a teenager) who would say that everything that happens to them is depressing just because they have to return some clothes. That is, in fact, a vapid statement, so I stand by my criticism of it.
The TLDR version of my review:
I disliked the author and her viewpoints personally, and had expected to book to be a memoir of someone more complex, thoughtful, and intellectual. Given that this book is essentially a memoir, it's hard to like the memoir of someone you dislike. Also, I had been given falsely high expectations of the book, which is what roused my anger.
Original 2010 review:
Ugh. What vapid, vapid morons. The stupidity of the author, friends, and family members makes me want to set the book on fire. Hell, it makes me want to go back in time and set the author on fire. While this book is supposedly about self-education, it doesn't criticize the educational system, or give any real reasons for opting out, except that Hailey "doesn't want to go to college". Hailey, however, isn't exactly a non-conformist, as she often states that being too unconventional is "bad", as well as repeated comments about how "real" life is life defined by schedules, guidelines, due dates, etc, and that she, as an autodidact isn't living "real life". She also thoughtfully states on several occasions that "lack of college" does (blank) bad thing to you (makes you less ambitious, for example).
Here is a quote from a letter written by Kendall's best friend, Julie "I'm just depressing myself. I think I should change the subject. Today I'm going to Harvard square to exchange some stockings that I bought which came with a hole in them. My God, everything that happens to me is depressing." Deep.
April 18, 2020
I found myself in Kendall. I not only understood but felt her indescribable want to learn her own way. To be in control of her knowledge. Not wanting anyone to tell you what you should know, what you should learn, what or who you should love, and especially what you should read.
That want to be free with your own mind, and not have constant pressure to make it better or smarter.
Organic learning is something that I strive for and will always love.
High, high praise for The Day I Became an Autodidact. I will always have a special place in my heart for Kendall Hailey.
That want to be free with your own mind, and not have constant pressure to make it better or smarter.
Organic learning is something that I strive for and will always love.
High, high praise for The Day I Became an Autodidact. I will always have a special place in my heart for Kendall Hailey.
October 11, 2009
Lauren Gale Albert's Review
I loved this book when I read it 20 years ago when it was first published. I've picked it up any number of times to re-read it but just couldn't. Perhaps I was afraid it wouldn't as memorable the second time. But I loved it all over again. Kendall Hailey, the author, decides to graduate from high school early and become an "autodidact" or someone self-taught. So, while her classmates finish high school, apply to college and go off to colleges near and far, she stays at home and reads and writes. Her parents are both writers so they are sympathetic to her quest for knowledge. For a teenager, she is remarkably funny and wise. Some quotes--I'm putting more in my notes section.
"We talked for an hour and a half until he had to leave for the orthodontist. It is hard to talk too seriously of love with someone who still has to go to the orthodontist." Pg. 147
"Brooke says we’re phony, but if we live in fear of phoniness, I think we hit mundanity." Pg. 155 read 5/09
I loved this book when I read it 20 years ago when it was first published. I've picked it up any number of times to re-read it but just couldn't. Perhaps I was afraid it wouldn't as memorable the second time. But I loved it all over again. Kendall Hailey, the author, decides to graduate from high school early and become an "autodidact" or someone self-taught. So, while her classmates finish high school, apply to college and go off to colleges near and far, she stays at home and reads and writes. Her parents are both writers so they are sympathetic to her quest for knowledge. For a teenager, she is remarkably funny and wise. Some quotes--I'm putting more in my notes section.
"We talked for an hour and a half until he had to leave for the orthodontist. It is hard to talk too seriously of love with someone who still has to go to the orthodontist." Pg. 147
"Brooke says we’re phony, but if we live in fear of phoniness, I think we hit mundanity." Pg. 155 read 5/09
March 9, 2015
what else can I say other than this book inspired me to read more and become an AUTODIDACT for the rest of my life :) (probably not but you get the idea)
She is smart, hopelessly romantic, determined but confused, and somehow close to you or i should say "real". I love her witty comments about life as much as I enjoyed her secondary world of literature. Apart from her diary entries I greatly benefitted from her list of readings. Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Thoreau, Plato, Hemingway, Orwell,King, Lincoln... and might even go further to Iliad and Greek literature...
She is smart, hopelessly romantic, determined but confused, and somehow close to you or i should say "real". I love her witty comments about life as much as I enjoyed her secondary world of literature. Apart from her diary entries I greatly benefitted from her list of readings. Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Thoreau, Plato, Hemingway, Orwell,King, Lincoln... and might even go further to Iliad and Greek literature...
March 6, 2010
I was really interested in reading about Kendall Hailey's experience of graduating from high school a year early to pursue learning on her own terms. Unfortunately, this choppy memoir was difficult for me to read. I believe Hailey was only about 18 or 19 when she wrote about her adventures in learning. If anything, her book should inspire everyone to become an autodidact in their own way.
July 19, 2008
I re-read this book about once a year.
September 18, 2017
This was a reread of a book I read when it was first published. Hailey was in her early 20s, I was in my late 30s, but it spoke to me because I feel like an autodidact in spite of having spent years in school. For me, school was a long series of nice suggestions on what I wanted to explore next. Making good grades wasn't generally a problem for me unless I was bored stupid, which happened maybe three times in my grade and high school years. I'd go off and do my thing, and stop paying any attention to my schoolwork, fail a bunch of stuff, get a stern talking-to and go back to making at least a minimal effort. Most of my friends fit into this category to some degree or other. Some did well in school and enjoyed it, some tolerated it, but all of us seem to learn best on our own.
Hailey's decision to leave school early was made with the support of her parents, a novelist mother and a playwright father. It certainly wasn't my situation, and when I first read the book, I envied her that. I followed her attempts to educate herself with glee, enjoyed her insights, and made notes about books I really really should be reading as well. (Hailey did some heavy classical lit reading.)
This time around, I saw her from a greater distance, separated by 30 years from my younger self, I found I was impatient with her judgements, the way she flitted from one career dream to the next, and the thread of her unrequited love for a family friend. I kept having to say, "Tracy, she's a kid, lighten up!" That rational voice was quite correct. She was a kid, a smart, sassy one, who was so passionate about the world that she wanted to experience it via every art she could think of. She was a kid so much of the time she was certain she knew how things had to work. She was a kid, so of course she was in love.
I don't know what I was expecting.
But when I did lighten up, I found the same delight in her progress that I had nearly 30 years earlier. I enjoyed her thoughts and observations on what she was reading, her efforts to write novels and plays, become an actress and photographer, and to get Matthew to declare his love for her. She counts their kisses! Yes, she has it bad, and occasionally she'll step back and think, "What am I doing?" But her resolutions don't last.
Hailey writes so winningly, not only about her self-education, but of her family, that I felt I'd come to know them all. Father Oliver's struggle with Parkinson's, uncle Tom's eccentricities, mother Elizabeth's process as a novelist, and Nanny's and sister Brooke's hilarious weirdness. They're the heart of Hailey's book, even more than the path she's choosing to walk. This time around I feared for her because, having lost people I adored, I knew how hurt she was going to be when the same happened to her.
I'm glad I chose to revisit this book though I doubt I will again, unless I live another 30 years, and consider it an anniversary of sorts. Revisiting books you loved when you were younger can be dodgy. This one held up, thank goodness. If you love the idea of self-directed education, if you like smart young women with a bit of sass on them, this book may well appeal to you.
Hailey's decision to leave school early was made with the support of her parents, a novelist mother and a playwright father. It certainly wasn't my situation, and when I first read the book, I envied her that. I followed her attempts to educate herself with glee, enjoyed her insights, and made notes about books I really really should be reading as well. (Hailey did some heavy classical lit reading.)
This time around, I saw her from a greater distance, separated by 30 years from my younger self, I found I was impatient with her judgements, the way she flitted from one career dream to the next, and the thread of her unrequited love for a family friend. I kept having to say, "Tracy, she's a kid, lighten up!" That rational voice was quite correct. She was a kid, a smart, sassy one, who was so passionate about the world that she wanted to experience it via every art she could think of. She was a kid so much of the time she was certain she knew how things had to work. She was a kid, so of course she was in love.
I don't know what I was expecting.
But when I did lighten up, I found the same delight in her progress that I had nearly 30 years earlier. I enjoyed her thoughts and observations on what she was reading, her efforts to write novels and plays, become an actress and photographer, and to get Matthew to declare his love for her. She counts their kisses! Yes, she has it bad, and occasionally she'll step back and think, "What am I doing?" But her resolutions don't last.
Hailey writes so winningly, not only about her self-education, but of her family, that I felt I'd come to know them all. Father Oliver's struggle with Parkinson's, uncle Tom's eccentricities, mother Elizabeth's process as a novelist, and Nanny's and sister Brooke's hilarious weirdness. They're the heart of Hailey's book, even more than the path she's choosing to walk. This time around I feared for her because, having lost people I adored, I knew how hurt she was going to be when the same happened to her.
I'm glad I chose to revisit this book though I doubt I will again, unless I live another 30 years, and consider it an anniversary of sorts. Revisiting books you loved when you were younger can be dodgy. This one held up, thank goodness. If you love the idea of self-directed education, if you like smart young women with a bit of sass on them, this book may well appeal to you.
November 12, 2024
An enjoyable memoir by a precocious young woman in her early twenties, written in the mid-1980s. She escapes high school early and is staunchly opposed to college, yet is passionately committed to education, mostly through reading the classics, but she also paints and writes (there is mention of listening to classical music, but no details).
What attracted me to this book was the autodidact part, but when it turns out that Kendall is no ordinary teen but rather the daughter of the playwright Oliver Hailey and the novelist Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey, with the family hobnobbing with the luminaries of stage and screen, things become more complicated. There is a lot of family drama - much of it ordinary - and the usual adolescent insecurities, even if Kendall is far more level-headed than the typical teen girl. There are a ton of references to old movies and plays, in addition to continuous discussion of whatever Great Book she is immersed in at the moment. Hailey writes with a great deal of wit and humor, and I wish I could read more by her. At this point, this book is all that has ever been published.
Thankfully, Jennifer Paull followed up on Kendall and we have this and this. I'm astonished to learn that she was classmates with Quinn Cummings, whose The Year of Learning Dangerously: Adventures in Homeschooling I read and enjoyed. Small world.
What attracted me to this book was the autodidact part, but when it turns out that Kendall is no ordinary teen but rather the daughter of the playwright Oliver Hailey and the novelist Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey, with the family hobnobbing with the luminaries of stage and screen, things become more complicated. There is a lot of family drama - much of it ordinary - and the usual adolescent insecurities, even if Kendall is far more level-headed than the typical teen girl. There are a ton of references to old movies and plays, in addition to continuous discussion of whatever Great Book she is immersed in at the moment. Hailey writes with a great deal of wit and humor, and I wish I could read more by her. At this point, this book is all that has ever been published.
Thankfully, Jennifer Paull followed up on Kendall and we have this and this. I'm astonished to learn that she was classmates with Quinn Cummings, whose The Year of Learning Dangerously: Adventures in Homeschooling I read and enjoyed. Small world.
October 18, 2022
when i was 15 and decided i was done with school and my mother wouldn't stop screaming and pulling her hair out of in clumps, my father quietly disappeared to the local neighborhood bookstore (dutton's in studio city) and came home with this. he presented it to me solemnly, father to daughter, his message being much-wanted permission, support and encouragement--of the most precious, 'don't tell your mother' variety. did i ever love him more? i didn't know what an autodidact was and at 55 still hold out hope it is not too late to find out.
March 7, 2025
There seems to be this misconception that this book is relevant to those who want to homeschool their children. Not in the least, Kendall Hailey graduated from high school (albeit, a year early). This book covers three years that she would have been in college, had she decided to pursue further academic education. Instead, she stays at home and reads mostly Greek and Roman classics.
The book is well written, very witty and funny. It is written like a diary of her days, where she talks about her reading, family, and the boy next door - Matthew.
If anyone is interested here is a recent interview with her about what she has done since writing the book:
Part 1: https://bookriot.com/rediscovering-a-...
Part 2: https://bookriot.com/whatever-happene...
Reading time: 11h 34m
The book is well written, very witty and funny. It is written like a diary of her days, where she talks about her reading, family, and the boy next door - Matthew.
If anyone is interested here is a recent interview with her about what she has done since writing the book:
Part 1: https://bookriot.com/rediscovering-a-...
Part 2: https://bookriot.com/whatever-happene...
Reading time: 11h 34m
July 10, 2025
I feel somewhat harsh giving this book a low rating since the author was so young when she wrote it, but nevertheless I have to admit I found it pretty bad. The author is a privileged and precocious child who decides to leave high school and educate herself instead. This book chronicles this decision and aftermath. Unfortunately, it's all too precious and self-consciously intellectual to be a compelling memoir. Not recommended.
September 6, 2021
An insightful and unique voice. Kendall's story is full of joy and wit and great taste in classic film stars, but also of the vulnerabilities and existential wrestling matches of adolescence and identity-building. I just want to start it all over again and dive back into that world of books and ideas and creative promise. Timeless and terrific and thoroughly charming.
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September 20, 2023I have to say that this book was very little of what was promised. Most of it is simply a hyper-egocentric teenager overdramatizing her own privileged life. Indeed, the author, at least as she is portrayed here, is, I think, positively unbearable! While I make a habit of always finishing books I start, I kept finding myself not being able to wait until this one was over, which is a rarity for me.
January 3, 2019
What fun to start the year with a five-star book! This was a wonderful read and a keeper for future rereads. It also made me want to look up many of the people she mentions in her book ... and made me wonder how life is turning out for her now.
August 5, 2023
I loved this book. I wish i was as confident and determined as the author when I was her age. It was surprisingly heartfelt, full of youthful charm but also quite informative and have inspired me in my journey as an autodidact. I will read it again and again.
August 14, 2024
Interesting book...I wish more teenagers had the desire and discipline to educate themselves beyond what a formal school can do.
Hailey is an interesting kid. There were so many possible directions her life could have taken. I wonder how she finally ended up.
Hailey is an interesting kid. There were so many possible directions her life could have taken. I wonder how she finally ended up.
April 26, 2018
Occasionally embarrassing for her blatant adolescence, but often thought-provoking in some of her big-picture truth-bombs.
February 3, 2019
I lovedd this book.
January 5, 2020
I really enjoyed this story of a young woman who chooses to study on her own rather than go to college. Also, I laughed out loud dozens of times.
July 26, 2019
First of all, I love memoirs and diaries. This book was given to me by a family friend for my fifteenth birthday.
Kendall Hailey was a girl I can easily relate to, since she was an avid reader and interested in acting.
I love how, in the book (when still a virgin), she refers to sex as that “many-splendored thing.”
I love reading about Kendall’s life as she comes of age, the daughter of two writers. What an incredible privilege to be the daughter of brilliant people!
This book made such an impact on me. I should bribe my own daughters to read it.
Kendall Hailey was a girl I can easily relate to, since she was an avid reader and interested in acting.
I love how, in the book (when still a virgin), she refers to sex as that “many-splendored thing.”
I love reading about Kendall’s life as she comes of age, the daughter of two writers. What an incredible privilege to be the daughter of brilliant people!
This book made such an impact on me. I should bribe my own daughters to read it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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