Notes to My Mother-in-Law

by Phyllida Law

From the daily notes written to a beloved mother-in-law who could no longer hear comes a hilarious and warm portrait of daily life  Phyllida Law's mother-in-law Annie lived with her family for 17 years and was picture-book perfect. It took a while before the family realized that Annie was increasingly deaf. So Phyllida began to write out the day's gossip at the kitchen table, putting her notes by Annie's bed before going to hers. One night her husband muttered that she spent so much time each evening writing to Annie she could have written a book. Here it is—a book full of the delights of a warm and loving household. Of the cat being sick after overindulging in spiders, the hunt for cleaning products from the dawn of time, mysteriously malfunctioning hearing aids, an unusual and potentially hilarious use for garlic, and the sad disappearance of coconut logs from the local candy shop. It's about the special place at the heart of a home held by a woman born in another age, a woman who polished the brass when it was "looking red at her;" who still bore a scar on her hands from being hit by her employer; and who held the beloved homemaking skills of a bygone age.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Biography, Memoir, Biography Memoir, Family, Book Club

119 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the privilege of having one of the sweetest, most considerate, most understanding mother-in laws that anyone could ever want. She was a precious gift... and she kept on giving for the 12 years I knew and loved her. When I saw this book, I thought, “How in the world did this author, that I had never heard of, known my mother-in-law"? I just knew I had to meet and get to know the woman, that the description said was as important to this author, as mine was to me. I learned something about the author that I didn’t know. She is Dame Phyllida Law and best known as the mother of Oscar-winner... Emma Thompson. She began jotting notes about things her mother-in law did and said shortly after she married the woman’s son. The lady went into service at 14. She baked... knitted..., dusted... polished brass...sewed... and helped around the household until nearly the very end of her life. Law would comment not only on day-to-day household matters...but also on family gossip...funny happenings... and the quest for the discontinued items that her mother-in-law hoped to get. It’s a daughter-in-law's memorial and tribute to a woman that was everything beautiful in her life that was way too short... and was “more” than she ever had to be.

[Marko Kivimäe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Näitleja Phyllida Law ämm Annie kolis ühel hetkel nende juurde ning varsti selgus, et vanem daam on tsipa kurdivõitu. Seega hakkas Phyllida päevaseid jutuajamisi kirja panema ning jättis märkmed ämma voodi juurde. Phyllidase abikaasa mainis ükskord, et sellest võiks saada raamat ning: "Joonista siis juba pildid ka juurde." Mõeldud, tehtud.

See on soe ja omamoodi raamat erinevatest põlvkondadest ja elukatest, kes sama katuse all elavad. Kolm erinevat põlvkonda, lisaks veel kass Säärik ning mitmed kõrvaltegelased. Saab nalja, on kurvemaid hetki, on lahedat huumorit. Ei noorene me keegi, siin on juttu sellest, kuidas on elu, kui enam ise ei saa omal käel hakkama.

Antud juhul on paslik tuua paar tsitaati raamatust, et anda kogu hõngu eriti vahetult edasi:
-------------
Mina ei ole kunagi suutnud lõunaoodet tõsiselt võtta, aga Nana jaoks oli see peatähtis. Ta sõi hommikuti alati ainult kaks teeküpsist ja jõi tassi teed, nii et keskpäeva paiku, nagu ta tööd ja toimetused lubasid, teatas ta, et ta magu mõtleb, et tal on kõri läbi lõigatud, ning tuli trepist alla. Kui ma kuulsin tema laia laulatussõrmust vastu käsipuud kõpsumas, kurnasin kartulid ära.

Menüü oli paras väljakutse. Olin ta poja käest teada saanud, et lehtsalat on „jänesetoit”. (Nana oskas jänest nülgida, justkui võtaks loomal kampsuni seljast.) Lemmikuteks olid praejuust, Yorkshire’i puding, sibulasoust, klimbid, täidetud süda ja roosaks keedetud neerud: ei tohi keeduplaati liiga kuumaks ajada.

-------------
Eleanor tunneb end palju paremini. Ta helistas mulle täna. Tal on ema sünnipäeva pärast tohutu
süütunne. Ta saatis kirja ja pakk pidi järgnema, kuid tema postkontorisse murti sel pärastlõunal sisse, kui ta selle posti pani. Relvastatud mehed. Ja see on tema sõnul väike kohake.
Säärane, kus hoitakse aknal koeraküpsiseid. Omanik pani kontori paariks päevaks kinni,
et toibuda. Eleanori sõnul näeb ta õige kehv välja. Pakk aga istub ikka sealsamas, või siis tegid
püssimehed vehkat lavendlikarva talkpuudri, piparmündipastillide ja trühvlikarbiga.

-------------

Kokkuvõtvalt: tore raamat. Kohati oli täitsa "Minu pere ja muud loomad" vääriline, vahepeal oli tiba lahjem. Seega korra tasus kindlasti lugeda, oli mõnus - kas ka teist korda, eks näis. Raamat paksus ning heitlik ülesehitus olid kindlasti kõvadeks plussideks. Pikemad lood ja paksem raamat oleks olnud liig, praegune kombinatsioon mekkis hästi.

[Ivonne Rovira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite being a noted actress in her own right, Dame Phyllida Law is probably best known as the mother of Oscar-winner Emma Thompson, but, in my heart, she will always be the loving daughter-in-law of Annie Thompson. Law’s mother-in-law lived with the Thompsons for 17 years, and this book makes the relationship between the two sound so loving and wonderful.

Law began scribbling notes when her mother-in-law became increasingly deaf. At a flip suggestion of her husband, fellow actor Eric Thompson, Law turned the notes into a book, for which many readers will thank her!

Mrs. Thompson, who went into service at 14, was baking, knitting, dusting, polishing brass, sewing and helping around the Thompson household until nearly the very end of her life. Law would comment on day-to-day household matters, yes, but on family gossip, funny happenings, and the quest for the discontinued items that her mother-in-law hoped to get. This slim book will delight readers with its warmth and humor.

[Marge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ainuüksi fraasi eest, et hüljes lamas rannal nagu melonilõik, tasuks anda auhind. Aplausi teenivad ka vuntsipleegitaja neelamine, siilide seks plekktaldrikul ja kass Säärik, kes alailma ämblikujalgu oksendab.
On inimesi, kes näevad maailma jaburat naljakat poolt. Ja see on hea.

[Triinu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Minu arvamuse leiab blogist https://triinuraamatud.wordpress.com/...

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful little book, made up of notes left by Phylldia to her Mother In Law who has become hard of hearing. Beautifully illustrated throughout too. It's just everyday stuff, the kind of things we all deal with on a day to day basis, but it is so warm and loving. It is clear from the tone of the notes that Phyllida really loved her MIL - it is also very funny at times, and very tender in other places.

A really lovely little read, its a quick read and would make the perfect gift.

[Patrizia · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the sweetest books I have ever picked by pure chance while browsing at the bookstore. Families the way they should be.

[Seili · Rating 3 out of 5]

See on selline sooja tooniga raamat. Raske kohe midagi väga öelda. Ühelt poolt ilukirjandus, teiselt poolt päriselt olnud eludesse sissevaade. Veidral kombel läks mulle isegi vist rohkem korda perekonna kassi osa. Kassiinimeste värk ilmselt :P

Lühidalt on lugu kunagisest väga toimekast ja vaprast vanaprouast, kes nüüd on jäänud pisu kõrvakuulmisega jänni ja muidu üldse ka teevad aastad oma. Tuleb kolida, midagi pole teha. Poja naine (autor siis) võtab juhtimise enda peale. Raamat sünnib sedelitest, mida ta oma ämmale jätab-kirjutab. Saame teada südamliku perekonnaloo, vürtsitatuna muheda huumoriga ja eks seda va pisarakiskujat ikka ka ette tuleb. Naabrid, sugulased, arstid ja muidugi kass - kõigil on oma osa.
Mõte mis mind tabas kogu selle loo juures oli, et oleks vaid kõigil vanainimestel sellist vedamist! Aga ma kardan, et nii kannatlikku miniat ikka suuremal osal ei ole. Aga hea on lugeda, et mõnel on vedanud. Olgu siis kuulsused või mitte, eksole... :)

Raamat otseselt vaimustusest kiljuma ei pane ja arvata on, et teist korda ei loeks (ma loen üle ühe korra ikka vääääga haruldasel juhul, nii et see pole näitaja :P) aga lugu on armas ja soovitada võin küll! :)

[Chiffchaff Birdy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my, this was such a fast and funny read! I read it in one sitting, but then it's not long, and felt compelled to read extracts from it as I went along. It's a really delightful diary of sorts and manages to convey the distinct love and affection that Pyllida Law had for her Mother in Law. The retelling of family stories and escapades were hilarious at times, so much so that sometimes I couldn't breathe for laughing. It helps if you're familiar with Scotland and with the older generations who went through wartime (it reminded me of the gossiping that I overheard my grans and great aunts take part in when I was a child). A marvellous little book.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I discovered this book through a Letters Live YouTube video. That letter, performed masterfully by Claire Foy, is the most absurdly hilarious part of this book. The rest has a sweet, homey feel, though it is at times crude in a frank British way.

I always envisioned Emma Thompson writing these letters, no matter how much I told myself it is her mom. They are basically carbon copies of each other.

[KülliŠ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raamat vananemisest ja sellega kaasnevast. Peategelasel oli õnn elada vanaduspäevil minia juures, kes temast tõesti hoolis.
Hea kerge lugemine, naerda saab ka.

[Lesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this little gem- I read it over lunchtime today & although it is short, it is no less touching or funny for its brevity.

It is a collection of notes left for an elderly, deaf Gran by her dutiful daughter-in-law, so becomes an (admittedly one-sided) version of events in her day-to-day life.

I particularly liked the illustrations which accompanied the tales (especially the stories of Uncle Arthur's antics).

I recognised many of my own family's "eccentricities" in the various anecdotes which made me laugh & cry in even measure.

Warning: do not read the start of this book while eating- it may put you off your lunch, unless you find excess wax & cat-sick appetising, of course.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet & short memoir of sorts, written in the titular notes by the author to her mother-in-law, who was hard of hearing and yet wanted the day’s news and arrangements. Both women sound like people I’d like to know, and Phyllida’s respect and affection for her mother-in-law are evident.

I found this a quick, charming read. 4½ stars

[Annette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a lovely book. Phyllida's mother-in-law comes to live with them and they realise that she has become very deaf. So begins a series of one- sided notes to said mother-in-law about events that happen. A very sweet book.

[Aimée · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was reading it on a kindle and the layout was confusing at times and detracted from overall enjoyment. Avoid Kindle version. It's surprising how much you can glean from half a conversation. Law's charm, wit and tenderness shines through.

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

An odd little book. Funny and heart-warming in places, but the style makes it very disjointed.

[Jan Reading · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about the seventeen years that Phyllida’s Mother-in-Law, Annie lived with the family.
The prologue sets the scene, describing Annie and her life. While living with the family Annie became increasingly deaf, so much so that to keep her informed of what was ‘going on’ Phyllida would leave little notes on the fridge for Annie to read. This book is a compilation of those notes.
Some of the notes are extremely funny, indeed I was reading this book on the ferry from Dublin to Holyhead and got many strange looks from other passengers as I would suddenly burst into laughter. Indeed, at one point the tears were streaming down my face.

[aixin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Slightly 'twee' and of course painting Phyllida in a good light as a dutiful daughter-in-law, but she deserves it for at the heart of all these letters is a sense of love and care that's hard to fault. One can see it in the way she hunts down discontinued items for her mother-in-law Annie, makes lists of her needs before doctor appointments and also keeps in mind Annie's style ("let's do your hair if we get called to the doctor") and personality quirks ("it'll disrupt your routine"). The apple doesn't fall far from the tree indeed; Emma Thompson has a similarly charming and verbose style of writing.

[Karu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Armas ja valus samal ajal.

Kuigi endal puudub selline isiklik kogemus (ämmaga elamisest ja/või Eluvana vaikselt võtmas inimeselt talle kuuluva), elasin kaasa nii Säärikule kui ka Nanale. Lõpp ei ole muinasjutulik.

Raamat koosneb kirjadest oma ämmale, kes jäi kurdiks. Kuigi palju on sellist tühja-tähja, on seal ka väikseid pilusid maailmasse aastakümneid tagasi ning ka natuke humoorikamaid seikasid.
Mulle tundus, et raamat tugineb pigem naistele - autorile, tema tütardele ja emale ning loomulikult ämmale. Autori onu käib ka vahetevahel läbi, kuid mees on kuidagi väga väga tagaplaanil.

Peale lugemist jääb midagi hingele, seega peab olema hea.

[Aimi Tedresalu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kiidan tõlget ja ka sisu poolest ei olnud raamat kehv, kuid mind millegipärast väga ei kõnetanud. ah, oli küll soe ja südamlik, kibemagusalt nukker ja kohati kurbnaljakas, kuid ilmselt oli just inglise huumor see, mis mulle hästi peale ei läinud. Eks ilmselt ise sellises olukorras olles prooviks ka argielust nalja välja punnitada. Meelde muidugi jääb ja mõtlema paneb, sest lõpeb me kõigi elu ju kunagi ja ega seda ette tea, kuidas täpselt. Õnneks oli teos parajalt sale ja autor oskas sisu õiges koguses doseerida, sest muidu oleks üleküllastus olnud kerge tekkima.

[Jennie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up because Olivia Colman read an excerpt on Letters Live and it made me laugh. The rest of the book is just as charming and at times poignant. I can definitely see where Emma Thompson gets her wit. This whole book feels as if the Law/Thompson family would have fit right in with the Honeychurch family in A Room with a View.

[Vic · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a charming book with all that implies, good and bad. The scope is small and intimate as we're invited into a family setting with a good bit of humour and tolerance and exposed to the day-to-day vicissitudes of having an elderly relative to look after. There is some sentimentality and the cast of characters can be a bit confusing at times, but overall, a good read.

[Daphne Mulner · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful little book! It is rare to see such tender care of an elderly family member, let alone one’s mother-in-law. Some of it was a mystery to me, being an American, but I enjoyed googling “wine gums,” “rock cakes,” and “Gee’s Linctus.” Overall: a sweet little window into a family’s routine, gossip, humor, and tragedy.

[Janet Bird · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous book that I must read again asap, maybe when I've re-read all my Stephen Kings. It's Emma Thompson's Mum. They seem to be a highly talented family. An exquisite read and a 'keeper'. Would you believe I found it in the Pound Shop and thought "I'll give it a whirl." So glad I did.

[P A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Exudes love and warmth

This book is exactly what the title says it is: a book of notes. Funny, warm and loving notes; it doesn’t flow like a novel, but it works as a collection of anecdotes.

[Lisa Findley · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick, gentle read about the sweet relationship between Phyllida Law and her mother-in-law

[Francesca Pashby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly amusing and sweet ... a literary candy floss.

[Marian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read. Heartwarming

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

My second or third reading. it's still funny, still touching. I love this little book.

[Ally · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very sweet and 'wholesome'